Chapter 9 Chapter 8 The Back Room

The back room has another name for women, another name.It seems to be a wound that comes from fear, and no one is allowed to touch it. It is ambushed in the thick shadow, and the light is dim like the color of the womb, which makes the man's heart beat.The process of our growing up is the process of making it gradually accept "entry" until we seek "entry".In this seeking a girl becomes a woman. One day, as usual, I came to Yi Qiu's house at eight o'clock in the morning.Before going out, because I drank porridge and milk, I had to go to the toilet after arriving at Yi Qiu's house.

Yi Qiu was fastening the buttons that were so tight that they could hardly be fastened, and his heavy breasts were about to fall to the ground, while pointing with one bare foot towards the westernmost corner of the large and empty room, he said, " Here, there!" I just noticed that there is a white curtain hanging on the wall at the west corner of this big house.But that's just a door curtain. I said, "Where?" Yi Qiu waved his hand at me, "Come here". I followed her and walked over. Her fat feet were like two fat worms, moving on the rough but clean ground.

She lifted the white curtain lightly with one hand, and said, "Here! Usually, I never go to the public toilet by myself, so here I am." I was very surprised to find that there was a "sleeve" protruding out of this big square house, and behind the door curtain was a long strip of space, which was indeed protruding like a clothes sleeve.Behind the curtain, I saw a triangular iron shelf painted with blue paint, on which a washbasin was supported.A crooked wire is pulled diagonally from the top corner to the screw of the door curtain, on which small things such as panties, bras, socks and handkerchiefs are dried, and a large mosquito with transparent wings looks like a shrunken airplane , landed firmly on top, its bulging belly was very full, as if it had just absorbed Yi Qiu's blood.A simple toilet was placed in the center like a bench, and the surrounding area of ​​the toilet was mottled with rust.

Yi Qiu said, "Xidawang installed it for me. Although it is not the kind of toilet that can flush water in the building, it can be flushed with water from the washbasin, and the pipe under it is open." "Xi Dawang?" I said, "Who is Xi Dawang?" Yi Qiu smiled, "My cousin." She brushed her hair back with her hands, as if the person she mentioned was about to appear in front of her, "Actually, it's my boyfriend." I went in and lowered the curtain.I felt that the toilet was dripping wet and not very clean, so I sat on the toilet with my buttocks up, half sitting and half squatting.When I'm done, I throw the toilet paper into a large waste paper trash sack next to the toilet.When I got up, I suddenly saw a bloody scroll among the waste paper in the big bag, very eye-catching, glowing with a dazzling red light, like a budding flower, lurking in a pile of white flowers. in the waste paper.My heart thumped a few times.

before.I've seen older women have that kind of thing in public restrooms, when they change the toilet paper, they are very generous and don't shy away from others at all, as if everyone has these things and there is nothing to hide.And I always look away embarrassedly, not looking at others.Although they didn't look at it, they could still see from the corner of their eyes that they threw a bunch of red paper rolls into the hair pit.I find it very mysterious.However, I didn't think too much about it, I just thought it was a matter for adults. Now, when I saw that my companion Yi Qiu also had this problem, I was very shocked, and then I realized that this matter was about to be related to me, and I couldn't help feeling flustered.

After I came out of the "bathroom", I pretended to be calm and spread out my homework without saying anything. After a while, Yi Qiu said that he needed to go to the toilet, so he walked towards the "sleeve". I could no longer restrain my curiosity, and raised my head to look at the door curtain. From the crevices of the curled corners of the curtain, I vaguely saw Yi Qiu sitting on the toilet, rubbing something in her hand, and I saw a red ball in her hand in the distance.My heart was beating wildly again.Quickly lower your head and calm yourself down. I still stubbornly believe that my adulthood was "infected" by Yi Qiu.Because, the next morning after I saw this incident, when I got up, I suddenly saw a small piece of red blood on my bed sheet, like a large fiery red plum blossom, which really bloomed in full bloom. On the top of the bed sheet with green artificial flowers.

I am fourteen years old this year. When Yi Qiu opened the door curtain from his "sleeve" and came out.I lowered my head and wrote with great force. The characters were square and solid, as hard as bricks. Yi Qiu said, "It's strange that you are so skinny but write such tough characters." I said, "What's so strange about this. My mother said that looking at a person's handwriting is like looking at a person's heart." "Heart?" Yi Qiu thought for a while, and finally couldn't figure out the relationship between words and heart, and said, "Your mother is an intellectual, and intellectuals are always troublesome. Everything must be associated with 'heart'."' "But it makes sense," I said.

"What's the point? I don't think your heart is as hard as your Yu." She opened her homework book.Said, "Look, my characters are round and soft. According to your mother, I should cry when I see fallen leaves. Actually, I never cry. There is nothing to cry!" At this moment, due to the mysterious red paper ball problem that happened just now, my heart has been confused, illogical, and I can't explain it clearly to her. I said, "It's not a heart. It's a personality. Actually, it's not a personality either, it's... Anyway, my mother has always wanted to correct my handwriting, she said that people who write this kind of handwriting will become more and more paranoid, extreme... and..."

At this time, someone outside the door shouted "Yi Qiu!" Yi Qiu and I stopped immediately, held our breath and listened carefully to the commotion outside. "Yi Qiu!" Another call came from outside the door.It seems that someone is indeed coming, and this is the first time I ran into someone at Yi Qiu's house. Yi Qiu went to open the door, and I looked towards the door vigilantly. At this time, a tall man walked in from the door, with slender eyes, shiny black eyes, low forehead, narrow forehead, and a strong body like a stick of meat.There seems to be inexhaustible vitality in the body.

When the visitor saw a strange girl sitting there in the room, he smiled cautiously, his demeanor was a little dull, but his expression was very sweet. Yi Qiu introduced, "This is Xidawang, I told you about it." Then, she pointed at me, and the man who rushed in said, "This is my new friend Ni Aoao." He came over, stretched out his big hand to me, and said, "Hello! I heard Yi Qiu told you about you." I shyly handed him my hand to shake.His hand was sweaty and greasy. He and Yi Qiu sat side by side on the bed, and sat across the table from me.Both Yi Qiu and I put down the homework in our hands, and the three of us sat around the table, pretending to be chatting, but we didn't know what to say for a while, so it was a bit awkward.

"Your handwriting is beautiful." Xi Dawang picked up my homework book and said clumsily. My homework book looks very thin and delicate in his hands, which are probably used to handling bricks all year round. He carefully flips through the pages one by one, as if the thing in his hand is not an ordinary homework book. , but a dozen precious silks. "My handwriting is not pretty at all, I know." I said. He didn't answer my question, but took out a few tomatoes from a half-worn military satchel, wiped them with his hands, and said, "Eat them." Yi Qiu handed me one right away. Then, all three of us ate.At this time, since Tomato joined us, the embarrassing situation was immediately diluted, and we chatted. From Xi Dawang's words, I learned that he used to work as an aviation ground crew in a small city in the north, mainly doing ground wiring, trench digging and oxygen generation work.Later, he withdrew due to mental illness. I asked, what disease can happen to the brain? Neither Xi Dawang nor Yi Qiu said a word. After I finished eating the tomatoes, I stood up and wanted to go to the "sleeves" to wash my hands.I saw Xi Dawang wipe the red juice from his palm on his pants.Yi Qiu originally planned to wash my hands with me, but when I stood up, she said, "You go first, you go!" While washing my hands, I looked at Yi Qiu and the others through the gap in the curtain. I saw that Yi Qiu and Xi Dawang were hugging each other like lightning. Xi Dawang's reckless and solid body hugged Yi Qiu's fleshy shoulders like crazy, like a man who has been imprisoned for many years and has never eaten a hen. The man with the fat wings suddenly got a big piece.Yi Qiu desperately pushed her bulging breasts against his ribs, and those breasts moved back and forth like a pair of plump hands playing a harp on his ribs. I washed my hands as slowly as possible and came out, sat back to my original position, pretended I didn't see anything, and opened my homework book. At this time, they had already sat down. Everyone was speechless for a while. After being dull for a while, Xi Dawang said that when he was a soldier, one evening, he was sitting alone on the hillside, leaning on a big rock, and consciously or unintentionally picked a kind of yellow wild flower called golden bell.At this time, he saw an owl preying on mountain mice not far from him.He put down the flowers in his hand and hid aside to watch quietly. He found that the owl flew like a shadow, soundless and terrifying.Its eyes are not on the sides of other birds, but in the center. The feathers around the eyes are radial, forming a "face" that looks like a placenta. In fact, it has no face.Then the owl saw him too, and they looked at each other for a moment, then it disappeared like a shadow. Xi Dawang said that he fell ill the next day. He stubbornly believed that his illness was caused by his eye contact with an owl. "On the mountain," Xi Dawang said, "every day is dealing with endless physical labor and dull stones that don't speak." When Xi Dawang talked a lot, I realized that something was wrong with him. His eyes were straight, and he didn't look at anyone, as if he was staring at a villain in his own mind talking to himself, with a hurried look.I also found that his hands kept touching Yi Qiu's back, and Yi Qiu's back seemed to be a substitute for his own imagination.The corners of his mouth twitched nervously in a fixed direction, as if his hands were seeking imperfect pleasure on Yi Qiu's back, and his desire was burning up little by little somewhere outside the topic, one by one. The appearance of a patient with paragonurism. At this time, Yi Qiu kept letting out a long series of silver bell-like laughter. Her laughter actually fell on a secret place far away, the birthplace of an indistinct desire, which is "that place" "Grinning like a mouth, smiling. While I was writing in my homework book, I listened to them intentionally or unintentionally. At this moment, Yi Qiu told me that she and Xi Dawang would go to the back room to discuss some private matters. So, they both got up and walked into the inner room. I was left alone in the outhouse, separated from them by a wall.I suddenly felt alone and thrown out of life.There was a vague attraction in the inner room that attracted my attention so much that I could no longer concentrate on my lessons.However, I don't have much room for imagination about the things inside, because it is difficult to find a fit and common experience with my own personal feelings in the past.That matter was almost blank for me.However, at this moment, there seemed to be a strong magnetic field in the inner room.It also enveloped me in an inexplicable tension that could not be relieved. I finally couldn't hold back my curiosity and "thirst for knowledge", and moved lightly to the bottom of the inner room door. I listened for a while, but I didn't hear what they said, only a slight creaking sound. The door of the inner room is of the old style. The upper part of the door panel looks like the land in the Ida system era, divided into squares by horizontal and vertical wooden strips, and covered with a layer of white and yellow window paper.The window paper was already covered with wet water marks, and large and small holes were broken. Since the light inside was darker than that of the outer room, those holes looked at me like black eyes. I put my eyes on a hole with some fear, and peeped inside. I first saw a painting on the wall, which seemed to be a broken bathtub, bloody red water poured out from the break, there was no one in the bathtub, a cat stood outside the pouring red water, The expression is terrifying. My eyes moved down and saw a few pieces of worn-out furniture scattered here and there in the room, and then I saw the camp bed and the two twisted bodies on it.They moved incessantly like two nocturnal patients, but not in a hurry and in disorder, but in an echoing movement under a tacit order.They all took off their clothes, Yi Qiu spread her limbs, her two breasts were round and strong upwards, her eyelids were slightly closed, her head was tilted towards the door, her expression was tired, as if she was a different person, and she kept moaning. low woo hoo.At this time, Xi Dawang was sitting on Yi Qiu's crotch as if he was riding a horse. His strong legs were bent backwards and pinned to the sides of Yi Qiu's body.His buttocks were firmly gathered, but his head was raised towards the roof, stretching upwards in an uncoordinated manner with the force of his whole body, his eyes were tightly closed, and his expression was desperate.His hands trembled rapidly between his legs, and as he breathed from low to high, a flash of white light like lightning suddenly shot out from his hands, and then he collapsed like a mountain on Yi Qiu. on the body... I was terrified outside the door, and two feelings fell on me at the same time: first, I felt that all the capillaries in my body were opening, enlarging, breathing hard, my mouth must be as big as a dead fish, I felt like I had smoked marijuana, and my whole body seemed to swell up a bit.Compared with the height and distance of the door, I also suddenly grew taller, and got closer to the door and window; then, I felt that I was sick, felt severe nausea, and was about to vomit... It has been said that we experience them only before and after that real, fleeting event, that they are dream-like figments confined only to us. More than ten years later, when I recalled the thrilling scene I peeped (maybe I wanted to see) outside the back room of Yi Qiu's house from the faded and blurred past, I realized that, in fact, this It is just the feelings I have at this moment, and the experiences and experiences I have completed in my imagination at this moment. All memory is acquired only in the creative imagination. My obsessive tracing of bits and pieces of memory from the past is not due to intense self-nostalgia, nor am I an avid collector of memories.The reason why my eyes linger over and over again on the fragments of the past is because those pages of history are not dead pages for me, they are living bridges, extending to my present day...