Chapter 15 my little house

Niuwang Bian Primary School is located at the foot of a Bian slope, with a small river in front of the gate, and dozens of villages, large and small, lined up on the Bian slope.On the gentle slope are extremely irregular fields arranged vertically and horizontally.On the steep slope grows the weed jujube that is one year old and one withered.Those ridges piled up with red stones that can be seen everywhere are exposed to dry red all year round, which is uncomfortable to look at.In the low-lying places around the village where the soil is thick and the water is sufficient, the clouds of peach and apricot flowers symbolize the most relaxed and lively season in the four seasons in this barren slope area. Showing a spirit of mutual assistance between rigidity and softness.The most notable thing is the end of summer and the beginning of autumn, a protracted drought, the grass and trees on the slopes are thirsty and dry, the trees shed their leaves early, and the corn seedlings are pulled out to feed the cows before they come out. .The entire hillside looked as if it had been scorched by fire, making it uncomfortable to watch.

Only the river in front of the school can make people feel the beauty of nature all year round.Even in the scorching season when the drought scorched and the slopes were full of smoke and fire, the river was full of life. A series of self-flowing irrigation canals lead the river water into cornfields, cotton fields and melon gardens.A set of tinkling liberation waterwheels pulled by oxen or green mules brought up the cool underground water trucks and poured them into the newly dry fields. I often open the back window, sit in my small house, and watch the natural transformation of Bianpo and river scenery in four seasons.

The school is located from south to north, with three rows of houses with civil structures, and on the loess wall wrapped with cedar, small grasses and Artemisia sprang up in spring, and they died first when there was a slight drought in summer.There are thick acacia trees in the campus, which are extremely shaded. In spring and May, the acacia flowers are fragrant in every corner of the campus. After dinner, teachers often drink tea or play chess under the shade of the trees.There are three rows of houses, with the teacher's dormitory and office sandwiched between the classrooms. Because there are not enough houses, they are all three or four people in one room, with one bed for each person and a desk. There is only one aisle in the middle. .It seems that no one thinks it is too crowded, and the conditions are limited, that's all.Only principal Liu Jianguo has one person and one room. Because he is the head of the school and has some secret work responsibilities, everyone has no objection, let alone specialization.

I was originally in a room in the back row. Because I was the head teacher of the upper grades of the elementary school, I was given a little preferential treatment, three people in one room.The primary school teachers and subject teachers usually live together in groups of four.Since I became a rightist, I moved out of the three-person office, and I was a little reluctant to part with it.Although the three of them were a bit crowded, they got along quite harmoniously because of their similar temperaments. They were not afraid of oversleeping in the morning, and they could chat and listen to gossip after the lights were turned off at night, and they never felt lonely.

To the east of the school, there is a row of small houses facing east and west. They are not used as classrooms, but only small rooms for people to live in.The first two rooms in the south are stove rooms, the next two rooms are water rooms, and the fifth room is the house I moved into later.The sixth house is the house of the former worker Han Minmin, who was promoted to be a clerk because of my replacement, and the last house is the house of the cook. Han Minmin is a worker recruited from the countryside. He only has a rough knowledge of some commonly used characters in the literacy class, and he can dial the abacus, but he is extremely intelligent.In addition to ringing the bell for sanitation, because the superiors did not assign full-time clerks, Han Minmin often helped to buy textbooks, lesson plans, chalk, ink and other sundries during the busy days when school started and ended.What he likes most is to convey meetings or short-term notices for the principal Liu Jianguo, and go to each house to talk about it.The young man was a bit of a face-saving guy. He would often put two pens in his jacket pocket, sip the pens with water, and try his best to improve himself to the standard of a teacher, so that people would not think that he was just a handyman.My misfortune gave him a god-given opportunity that he could never have dreamed of.After I came to ring the bell, boil the water, and sweep the floor, he became a full-time clerk.He lives next door, but the sundries are still piled up in the house where I live, and he doesn’t move around. Whenever he distributes lesson plans, chalk, and brooms to the teacher, he comes to the house where I live to get them.What comforts me is that he still believes that I, a rightist, will not vandalize public property, and he is not worried about me stealing.

"Xu Shenxing—" He used to call me Mr. Xu all the time, which is not respectful. This is the customary address among teachers in the school.Now that he calls him by his first name, I can figure it out, "I bought the charcoal at the supply and marketing cooperative, you go and get it back, this is the bill. I have to go..." Naturally, there are many things to do, he very busy. I pulled up the very precious trolley in the school and brought the charcoal back from the Niuwangbian Supply and Marketing Cooperative. Every time I do a renovation report, Han Minmin is always the first to stand up and say that I haven't fully explained.He said that one day and one time my bell rang a full minute late, and that one day I left dirt on the platform in the toilet I cleaned, and another time the boiling water was not enough to boil.He saw President Liu wash the eggs into a bowl of mushy soup and got the refutation, because the eggs washed out of the boiling water were flocculent.His revelations often made Liu Jianguo impatient, probably because his flattery was too obvious, and he was in front of everyone, and he couldn't get better by flattery.In any case, I can’t remember whether the bell was on time on a certain day, whether the water was fully boiled, and whether there was any dirt left in the toilet. I always made a gesture of sincere acceptance: I will definitely correct it, and everyone is welcome to supervise… …

Going out to work, thinking behind closed doors, I don't want to go to anyone's house, for fear of tarnishing others and causing trouble for myself.I closed the door, lay on the narrow bed, looked at the ceiling with cobwebs hanging, looked at the debris piled up in the house, discarded thick and twisted well ropes, broken and shriveled basketballs, The cron balls that fell apart, and the abacus lacking poles and pearls, all stared at me ridiculously from the walls, corners, and under the table.I was lonely when I first came here, but now I feel that this small storeroom where useful and useless things are piled up is the most peaceful corner where I live and live.

If Han Minmin opened the door to get something, I immediately got up from the bed, stood on the ground, waited for him to get the things and walked out the door, and then I closed the door.When he entered this small room, he never greeted him. He pushed the door open and walked out straight, as if he had entered a land without anyone. I didn't think he was disrespectful to me.I have a reason to resolve this doubt: the house was originally Han Minmin's warehouse, and he naturally didn't have to knock on the door or greet him when he entered his own warehouse. Lying on the bed, I couldn’t help thinking about the name my father gave me: Shen Xing, and from this I also thought of my younger brother’s name Shen Yan, and the motto my father told me when he left: Shen Du.Words and deeds, when one is alone, one should be cautious and prudent, that is what it means, and only now do I appreciate its unassailable correctness.Looking back on my life in normal school, I really can't believe myself, how frivolous I am!Sing as much as you want, talk as much as you want, play as much as you want, it's just like crazy!If I had at least kept a small corner in my heart for my father's advice, and had served as a warning during the "Ming Fang" meeting, I would have been cautious about my own words, and I would not have said that Liu Jianguo was "a great success." According to my opinion, there will be no such uncomfortable situation of being unable to squat down and stand upright like today.

If I was completely labeled as a rightist, not a "middle-right" and reformed through labor with the rightists, maybe the piggy would not laugh at the old crow.Only because I am a "Centre-Rightist", there is a difference in nature from the Rightists, which turned out to be a bad thing. If I continue to be used in the school, reformed, and live among many good people, I feel even more self-pitying.My experience is that this kind of bent-legged and bent-down posture, which cannot stand up straight or squat down, is more unbearable than standing or squatting, and it is probably the most difficult to endure in human postures.

I can no longer be careless in my words and actions. I took out the pen and ink cartridge, the ink cartridge was dry, and the brush was dry, so I soaked it in water.I found a piece of hard paper the size of a book page, dipped it in ink, and wrote a warning to myself: be careful and be alone.I stick it over my bed so I can see it whether I'm sitting or lying down.I felt the panic in my heart, and I absolutely needed such a talisman to protect my body and heart, so as not to cause any trouble. Two days later, Liu Jianguo walked into my house. When he came, he stared at the wall next to my table with two serious eyes, and finally stopped on the wall beside the bed.He looked at it seriously for a while, instead of admiring my calligraphy, he turned around and said, "Give this to me." Without my promise, he had already torn it off the wall, walked out the door without saying a word up.

In the evening, a teacher meeting was held temporarily and I was asked to make a report on the transformation in advance.No one was interested in my report, and the criticism of the word "Shen Du" suddenly became the central theme of the meeting.I foresaw that before the meeting, the faculty members would already have the object of criticism.The analysis of the rest can be omitted. Liu Jianguo's analysis is at the principal's level, which is naturally higher and deeper—— "'Prudence' what's 'independence'? Are your mistakes the result of not being 'cautious'? If you don't completely reform from the root of ideology and class standpoint, how can you be 'cautious'? How can this feudal way of self-cultivation be Can you save your reactionary soul?" My head is sweating.These sharp and profound criticisms made me even have no strength to breathe.I went back to the house and lay on the bed. The philosophy of life that my father respected as the most enlightened was no longer working. I tried to seek peace under this talisman, but instead caused disaster. How can I save my life? I clearly remember that after this motto was pasted on the bedside, only Han Minmin came to my house, and he must have reported it. For this motto, I confessed it for three whole nights... Three or four years have passed. I was notified that I could take classes and be treated like a teacher. I was moved to tears. However, within half a month, I fell into my own troubles.In order to reflect the spirit of treating me as a teacher, I was transferred out of that small warehouse and inserted into a teacher's dormitory where two people live.Some houses have been added to the school, and the teachers live a little looser.In this dormitory, not only can I not sleep in the dark, but I also feel uncomfortable during the day.I'm always in a state of high tension and panic all the time.I smiled at others inexplicably, and said to the teachers in the same dormitory or the teachers who came to this dormitory, all said: "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" Yes," he promised, making everyone laugh.I became more and more embarrassed and more nervous. I went to class and suddenly felt that I couldn't speak anymore.All the language warehouses in my brain were closed, I couldn't come up with a word, and I was very nervous.Even though I was taking a geography class, I didn't dare to speak. I was so anxious that my head was sweating, and I could only read from the textbook. The students were already in a mess like a nest of birds. As soon as I was treated as a teacher, I had to attend many meetings. This was a more uncomfortable moment. Usually, I was a rightist, and I gave a reform report in January and sat in a corner.Now, I am very nervous when I sit close to others; if I sit far away, I am not very social, and there is no seat for me in the conference room.Especially when I have to make a statement, I sweat before I say it, and I am always afraid that I will say something wrong... I made a request to the principal Zhao Yonghua: let me do clerical work, and let me go back to my small house that doubles as a warehouse.I explained again and again that it was not out of sex, nor did I have any dissatisfaction, but that the clerical work was more suitable for me, and I promised to do it well. More than a year ago, Liu Jianguo was transferred to the County Bureau of Culture and Education as a personnel cadre.It has been more than a year since Zhao Yonghua was transferred, and I seldom have any contact with him. I just occasionally heard Han Minmin mumbling something about the new principal in front of the cook, Master Yang. Have fun.Zhao Yonghua listened to my request and said casually: "If you think clerical work is more suitable, you can do it. Others still look down on this job!" When the material supply point goes up, the school happens to be short of clerks. As soon as Zhao Yonghua promised, I immediately moved the wrapped luggage back to my small warehouse bedroom.As soon as I lay down, I closed my eyes and felt comfortable.I suddenly thought of a snail. It must be very comfortable for a snail to drill in its shell.If you break the shell and pull it out, it won't live.When I first moved into this small warehouse, I felt oppressed, messy, and lonely, and thought of the happy time when I lived in the same room with the two senior teachers.Over time, I got used to the shell like a snail, and it was only comfortable to curl up in a small warehouse like a shell, but I felt unable to live in other houses! I went to buy coal, and when I bought the coal, I brought it back by myself. I would never let Xiao Zhu, the janitor hired from the production team, do this.I often rang the bell one step ahead of Xiao Zhu, and then apologized to Xiao Zhu after ringing, it was all because of my habit of ringing the bell in the past.Even so, I feel very satisfied. Although I am not a substitute, I am a clerk, and the clerk is also a teaching staff, and I am treated like a teacher. One thing breaks my heart. Everyone went to the county to listen to the report, and Zhao Yonghua asked me to watch the gate.Watching the door is actually suitable for my wish. I am afraid of meeting, afraid of meeting acquaintances at the meeting, and even more afraid of meeting old classmates from the second class of crash course, especially Tian Fang.But that night, when everyone came back after listening to the report, I found out that there was a news that shocked the people of the whole country at the meeting, saying that a "Daqing Oilfield" was discovered in our country.The teachers argued endlessly for guessing the specific address of the oil field, and no one could convince the other.I only found out later that for such an important report, the higher-ups stipulated that there are several types of people who should not listen to it, so as not to leak the secret to Emperor Xiu.I am naturally one of those types of people who are not allowed to listen. I secretly warned myself, just stay in the snail shell honestly!Don't be arrogant, you still don't have the qualifications to be treated the same as ordinary teachers!And also——Chen Du!