Chapter 5 how beautiful it is to be free

Looking south from the playground of the normal school, you can see the tall and majestic peaks of the Qinling Mountains; on the vast plain that gradually rises to the root of the mountain, there are scattered villages of various sizes covered by green leaves of trees; On the river road, farmers carrying rice bales flickered across the wooden bridge; on the field roads, farmers pulled small carts full of corn sticks and walked towards neighboring villages.The sun that sinks to the west of the plain casts a passionate last glance to the people on the plain before it sinks, and sprinkles the magnificent red light on the faces of the villages, fields, rivers and farmers who pull carts, Qinling Mountains Red lights shone on the steep cliffs.

I sat on the grass at the corner of the playground, reviewing my arithmetic.My Chinese class doesn't seem to be too difficult, but the arithmetic is hard.Because it is a crash course, the courses are quite heavy.What's terrible is that those calculation problems that are actually not complicated, I can get the correct result by mental calculation, but when I use the strict calculation formula of arithmetic, it is all messed up.I naturally focused my studies on arithmetic. "Ah! You found a quiet place!" It was Tian Fang, I could hear her voice without raising my head, but I still raised my head, and very quickly.I hurriedly stood up, watching her pursed her lips and grinning, but I didn't know what to say, should I ask her to sit down on the grass?Or just stand there?I have an insurmountable sense of panic about women, and I always feel nervous when I see a woman, especially alone with a beautiful woman.

"I need to discuss something with you," she said. "Okay, okay." I said with trepidation. "Sit down and talk." She sat down first, "How uncomfortable it is to stand like this." I sat down on the grass three or two steps away from her, so restrained that I didn't know how to arrange my hands and feet.She seemed to be at ease, sitting comfortably with her hands on her knees, looking at me as if admiring a frightened little rabbit.she says. "I would like to ask you to write for our 'Class Life' blackboard newspaper. Are you willing to serve?"

She is a member of the class committee responsible for publicity work, editing and replacing the "Life Garden" blackboard newspaper on the back wall of the classroom.I hurriedly said, "I...of course I am willing to serve, but my handwriting is not good enough." "'Not good'! It's just 'poor' a little." She smiled, without any sarcasm, and cut my words, "My handwriting can't be said to be 'good' or not 'good' at all!" "I can't write well." I have already paid attention to the polite words and sentences in my spoken language, and tried to use common words in daily life like everyone else, and when I was nervous, another half-baked words and sentences popped up, "Really , My handwriting is not very good."

"Your handwriting is so beautiful!" She sighed, showing a look of joy and envy, "Our homeroom teacher, Mr. Wang, said that your handwriting is better than his, and it is second to none in the whole normal school. You are still modest what?" I didn't make any more modest gestures.She sincerely praised my calligraphy, especially the kind words from teacher Wang, the teacher in charge of her class, which encouraged me very much.My handwriting has been trained by my father in a planned way since I was five or six years old. I first traced it according to the frame written by my father, and then copied it. He reprimanded me for not being like Zhenliu Zhenou.In this crash course, my word is unmatched.I said, "I'll do my best."

The matter has been settled, and I think it's time for her to go.But she sat still, suddenly stared into my eyes, and asked, "Why don't you talk to me all day long?" My heart throbbed again. Such a straightforward question made me unable to express myself, and I didn't know how to answer.Teacher Wang, the head teacher, appointed me to sit on the same bench and share the same table with her. It has been two months now, and I have not taken the initiative to say a word to her.what is the reason behind the scene?I couldn't tell myself for a moment. "I have a low level of education," she said. "You look down on me, don't you?"

I was misunderstood, so I hurriedly said: "I...do you have any?" "Then... am I a tiger or a devil?" She said sarcastically, "Afraid I'll eat you!?" My face suddenly became hot, and I couldn't help but lower my head.I remembered the story about the old monk and the young monk I heard in the dormitory. When the old monk threatened the young monk, he called women devils. I seemed to be the poor young monk.I sat on the same bench with her, listening to lectures or doing homework, and I never dared to turn my head to look at her face.She is so beautiful that I dare not look into her watery eyes.I just pretended to look into her eyes and face indifferently when she didn't care, but I really wanted to talk to her, make eye contact with her, and talk or joke openly like she would with any boy in the class.I can not.The more I think like this, the more I have to put on an air of indifference and indifference.There is a strict barrier in my heart, a hard shell, which habitually rejects and rebounds against all opposite sexes, so I can only cover up and say: "I am... not good at words!"

"Okay! 'Not good at speaking'!" She laughed, "Why are you so restrained? Don't you feel uncomfortable? Me! If I don't laugh or sing a few times a day, I feel uncomfortable .” "I'm so... old-fashioned," I said.Her words are talking about my pain, in fact, I am more painful than what she said.I was dragged back to school by her. Teacher Wang, the head teacher, severely criticized the prank student in the class. Everyone no longer treated me as a joke in person, but no one got close to me. My lonely heart did not be saved.I said, "I can't communicate..."

She smiled and said earnestly: "We have been together for a crash course for only two years. It is rare for us to meet each other. After graduation, we went to work in different places, and it will be difficult to meet again. Don't put on such a look Do you look old and pedantic? Don’t always act serious, okay? When you walk, just walk casually, don’t take those splayed steps! When you speak, just speak bluntly, don’t be so polite Literally and eloquently! Look... I've told you everything I have on my mind!" I smiled embarrassingly, I can't imagine how ridiculous it is when I talk in a gentle manner, walk in a figure of eight steps, and walk, but I understand that everyone treats me seriously The pedantic look is dismissive.I want to tell her that if you are used to walking in the eight-character gait, you will not walk casually, and it is difficult to change the habit of swearing at words. My father has painstakingly taught me this way, and it is like an iron armor. .I said, "I need to change, but I still can't change it all at once!"

"Take off your blue cloth robe first!" she said. "Then what am I wearing?" I asked; "'Lenin suit' is all the rage these days." "Can I wear a 'Lenin suit'?" "Of course you can." She said affirmatively, "You are young and have a good figure. Wearing a 'Lenin uniform', you will look good." "Are there ready-made ones for sale?" I was encouraged, especially when she said that I have a good figure. In her opinion, my figure is definitely not ugly. "Can you buy it in Shanmen Town?" "You change the robe." She said, "There is a tailor shop in Shanmen Town. If you spend a little money to change it into a 'Lenin suit', you can save a little money."

"Then I'll go now!" "Let's go together, I'll give you a staff." Three days later, after dinner, when I returned to the classroom, she winked at me, which gave me a kind of secret joy.When she and I went to the tailor shop to change the clothes, she told me to keep it a secret for now, and once the "Lenin uniform" is worn on the body, it will surprise the male and female students in the second class of the crash course!I know what she means by winking: today is the deadline to pick up the clothes.I couldn't hold back a strange feeling, so I walked out of the school gate with her. The bald old tailor took out the altered clothes and the remaining cloth, and handed them to me. "Try it," she said, "see if it fits?" I was a little embarrassed, and took off my robe in front of her, which was not very elegant, so I said, "I'll go back and try." "Try it here, if there is something that doesn't fit the size, the old master can easily correct it after seeing it." She said. "Try it!" said the master too. I couldn't refuse, so I turned my back on her and took off the blue cloth robe. Even though there were two layers of shirts and underpants under my robe, I couldn't help feeling panic. It seemed that once the blue robe was taken off, all my internal organs were exposed. . She mentioned the remade blue "Lenin suit", helped me put it on, and helped me tie the buttons. I felt the tenderness of that nimble finger.As soon as I lowered my head, there were two rows of buttons on the chest, one row was buttoned, the other row was completely decorated, and two wide collar strips were placed on both sides of the neck. "Go and look in front of the mirror," said the master. I stood in front of the full-length mirror, and I was embarrassed when I saw a strange self.To be honest, it was the first time I saw in the mirror that I was very handsome, with raised eyebrows and sharp edges and corners on my face. I was no longer a woman like my father scolded me. I'm young now, but that dimple looms again in my embarrassing shyness.I saw her standing behind me, looking at my face in the mirror without blinking. When she realized it, she shook her head in a little panic. "It's fine," she said. "It just fit." When I heard her words, I was a little dissatisfied, even disappointed.When she encouraged me to change clothes, she once warmly praised me that it must be good to wear "Lenin clothes" because I have a good figure.When I put it on now and I already feel really good, she just said flatly, "It's good. It just fits." I hoped to hear her enthusiastic cheer, but there was no. In any case, I feel a relief I've never felt before.I felt like I had taken off the cast iron armor, and suddenly felt stretched all over.God!Walking out of the tailor's shop and stepping onto the stone-paved streets of Shanmen Town, I can't walk anymore!Taking off the blue robe and putting on the "Lenin suit", she couldn't move her figure-sighted gait, and her feet and gait were very awkward. She just went out and saw me walking, and burst out laughing, as if she had suppressed it for a long time. Yes, I just paid attention to it, she kept a cautious distance from me in front of the tailor, and didn't dare to say too enthusiastic words. "Ah! Changed clothes, the road will not go!" I also said with self-deprecation. "Let go! Just go! Jump up if you want!" She said, as if she was betting with someone, "Do you dare to jump up? Try your courage, Mr. Xu?" She was irritating me, making fun of me, I felt anxious, reached out and slapped her on the shoulder, and immediately froze.God!It's unbelievable that in this town full of shops, I'm actually fighting with a girl! "Okay! Mr. Blue Robe dared to beat a female student! It's really improved and liberated!" She gave me a sneering sideways look, which made people feel kindly sarcasm!She said, "Be braver and jump up!" I mustered up my courage, and jumped up three times in a row. I jumped up, waved my arms, and when I fell to the ground, my face was red, and I simply didn't look at the faces of the citizens on the street.I said to her, "I was just liberated today!" "Yes, yes, yes!" She echoed repeatedly, feeling very excited, "Why don't you dance? Why don't you talk, laugh, and sing? In the old society, let others dance as much as they want, laugh and sing as much as they want, Now that we are liberated, it's our women's turn!" "I'm not a woman!" I protested. "You are more feudal than women!" She laughed. "It doesn't matter what I am," I laughed too, "I'm free anyway! How good it is to be free!" "Sing!" she said, "have courage, and come along singing with me!" "I can't sing..." I don't admit that I have no courage. "Come on with me!" she said, and began to sing.I walked side by side with her and sang along to the tune she sang: The sky in the Liberated Areas is a clear sky, The people in the liberated areas like it very much. ... When she was approaching the school gate, she stopped suddenly, turned her head, and said seriously: "You forgot all about the horoscope!" I was shocked in my heart, really, when I sang and walked through the street, my steps were liberated from the figure-of-eight steps, and I was free! The next day, according to her instructions, I changed the content of "life field" on the blackboard at the back of the classroom.She handed me a compiled manuscript, and I wanted to arrange the layout according to the content and length of the manuscript. While reading these manuscripts, I found a glaring title: Mr. Blue Robe in Lenin uniform I asked, "Who wrote it?" She said, "Me." I don't know why I'm asking who wrote it!If she didn't write it, I wouldn't want it to be released to the class?I couldn't tell for a while, anyway, I was holding the chalk and going to the blackboard newspaper The whole classroom cheered for this article.