Chapter 4 Chapter 4: Affinity Text

In the waning autumn afternoon, burn incense, listen to music, drink tea, and read books.Such a leisurely life seems like a luxury to many people.Time flies, mountains and rivers change, sometimes, sitting still is more rewarding than being busy.Life is like the process of a cup of tea. This cup of tea can be drunk for an hour, a day, a month, a year, or a lifetime. People in the world have their own favorites, some love vegetation, some love jade, some love mountains and rivers, and some love books.I always feel that everyone has a kind of old thing in the previous life.So the things that fascinate you in this life must be the unrequited love with you in the previous life.

We only know the scene of Sanmao wandering around the world with her luggage on her back, but we have forgotten her appearance as a solitary shadow at the desk on countless cool moonlit nights.If travel is a dream that Sanmao wants to realize after exhausting his entire life, words and her must be bound by Sansei.Only those who have really tasted it can know the beauty and charm of it. Sanmao didn't have a deep impression of the migration from Nanjing to Taiwan.I only remember that one day, when she and her sister were playing at home in Nanjing, her father came back from outside and gave them a stack of gold coupons to play with.At that time inflation, money depreciation, money lost its irreplaceable charm of the past.While the two children were having fun, the old servant in the family wept and said that they were about to flee to Taiwan.

In those days, true peace and stability seemed out of reach.The Anti-Japanese War ended, and the civil war artillery fire broke out again.The surging water of the Yangtze River cannot wash away the dusty sky.In the face of war, human power is always so weak and small.When you are powerless to stop it from happening, you have to choose a way to survive that suits you.When vegetation, trees, mountains and rocks still migrate, people should learn to live with the situation. From Chongqing to Nanjing, and then through Shanghai to Taiwan.Sanmao's childhood is the epitome of the people of that era.Despite many migrations and ups and downs, she is lucky.There is a world of difference between her and the homeless child described by Zhang Leping.Sanmao grew up in a family of intellectuals. Although he was not rich, he had more than enough food and clothing.Therefore, her wandering is a spiritual wandering and a pursuit of dreams.

Six-year-old Sanmao was sent to Taipei National Primary School by his mother when he first came to Taiwan.For Sanmao who loves to read, this should be a joyful thing.However, when she really read the Chinese textbook, she realized that the content in the text was too simple.This girl who is already smart, and with the foundation of reading in the Drum Tower in Nanjing, she is naturally better than ordinary children in reading and comprehension. The sensitive, withdrawn, precocious and rebellious Sanmao couldn't be satisfied with what the teacher said in class.She began to have a lot of extracurricular reading, and regarded reading as the theme of that period of life.In addition to the magazines subscribed at home, Sanmao also reads the bookcases of his father and cousin.Here, she met Lu Xun, Ba Jin, Mao Dun, Lao She, Yu Dafu, Bing Xin and other celebrities.She has read their works countless times, and she is deeply moved by their beautiful words, sincere emotions and rich stories.

After Sanmao searched through the collection of books at home, he tried every means to read in the nearby bookstore.She spent all the pocket money her mother gave her on renting books, and put her green time into writing.She lost many little girls, the joy and innocence that she should have had, and gained sadness and maturity.Gains and losses coexist in life. If you have the breeze, you must return the moon.Time will not turn back, once you choose, there is no turning back. Sanmao, a small solitary boat, exiled in the river and sea, let himself sink and float.Whether it is understandable or half-understood, she enjoys the mountains of works.Such as , , , and other esoteric western masterpieces, she does not miss them.It is hard to imagine that for many people, those dry and difficult words have such a great attraction for a little girl.And her persistence has a great cause and effect with the distant travels in the future and the long-term writing.

This kind of feeling, bear it, is a lifetime.When we are still sighing for her, she has gone a long way.No one reminded her that falling in love with words is like falling in love with loneliness and neglect.Even a warning can't change her original intention.People are really different. Some people are willing to be with words and stay with each other until death. During Sanmao's extensive reading period, there was also a small episode about love.This year, Sanmao was in the fourth grade of elementary school. To send off the sixth grade graduates of the school, she participated in the rehearsal of the play "Uncle Niu Fighting Guerrilla".Sanmao played Bandit B, and a boy played Bandit A, because of several close contacts between them.San Mao, who had just begun to fall in love, developed a mysterious and hazy love for Bandit Bingjia.

Later, Sanmao recalled Bandit Bingjia, and had such an impression: "I only remember that he has a big bald head with bumps and bumps, and his head was obviously shaved carefully by a razor. Behind the curtain, he always There's also a bluish gleam flickering on and off the top." Although this is not Sanmao's first love, nor is it true love, it is the purest love of a ten-year-old girl.The seemingly unrequited love, but in the bottom of Sanmao's heart, lived as if away from each other for two years.It wasn't until after graduating from elementary school that they went their separate ways and lost news that Sanmao gradually forgot about him.

, is the spiritual creature of Sanmao's life.When she was five years old, she had already read the Red Chamber, and in the following years, Sanmao had a deep love for the Red Chamber. ——This literary masterpiece containing all aspects of life has made countless literati, even ordinary civilians, linger in their hearts and dreams.In everyone's heart, there is a part, there is an old vow.This kind of love, regardless of high or low, no matter how old or young, just have different shades. Sanmao's first understanding of the Red Chamber was in the fifth grade.In class, Sanmao hid the book under her skirt and read it quietly.After reading the 120th chapter "Zhen Shiyin's details are too vain, Jia Yucun attributed to the Dream of Red Mansions", she wrote down: "When I first read that Baoyu was missing and Jia Zheng was on a boat in the guest place, at that time, the world was famous. In the boundless snow, Jia Zheng was writing a letter home and was thinking of Baoyu when he suddenly saw a bareheaded and barefooted man in a gorilla scarlet cloak on the snow on the shore and bowed down to him. Looking again, the man clasped his hands together, with a look of sadness and joy on his face. Isn't it Baoyu? Wherever you travel, the majesty is space; who will die with me, who will I follow? Indistinct and boundless, return to the generous!'

"When I finished reading this passage, I raised my head and stared blankly at the back of the classmate in front of me. I stayed there and forgot where I was. The feeling in my heart can no longer be described by tears and emotions. I I just sat there and listened stupidly, as if the teacher called my name from far away, but I didn't answer her." The teacher never scolded her, but asked her with concern if there was anything uncomfortable.She was silent, and smiled at the teacher in a trance, and it was this smile that made her suddenly enlightened in an instant.She said, what is called realm, I finally understand.In fact, the state mentioned by Sanmao can only be understood, not expressed in words.Enlightenment was born from the heart. At that moment, she understood the vastness of the world and the insignificance of people; she understood that wealth and fame are all floating clouds;

This year, San Mao was eleven years old.But we also know that this is only a momentary realization, and Sanmao's life has just begun.In the future, there will still be a long period of the world of mortals waiting for her to travel through, these are just the plots in the book.All sentient beings need to go through hundreds of hardships and kalpas, but if they still want a good fruit, the Buddha only needs to smile at a flower, and he will be detached. One book made Sanmao believe that the beauty and charm of writing is her lifelong pursuit.On the eve of graduating from elementary school, her homework had already increased, but Sanmao couldn't restrain her love for books.When she was in the sixth grade, she tried her best to sneak through the whole movie.After that, Sanmao became a fan of Jin Yong, and she never missed every one of his works.Regarding the characters in Jin Yong's works, Sanmao is very familiar with them.She even wrote a few reading essays from time to time to express her inner feelings.

During that time, reading, she was often addicted to it, unable to wake up for several days.She expects that she can walk into the pages of the book, roam the rivers and lakes with them, and laugh proudly in the world of mortals.Even if you only play an insignificant role, you should have no regrets.Sanmao, who is silent and withdrawn, just locked herself in the virtual scroll like this. She couldn't tell whether she was happy or sad, whether she should cry or laugh. In fact, she is just a girl who strayed into the sea of ​​books. In other people's stories, she gets carried away and at a loss.What should be said about her, and what can be said about her.Such a long love is not a mistake, but she clearly pawned Rushui Jianian, and she is powerless to change the course of her life.Taking wandering as her home, no matter whether one day is at the end of the mountain or not, she always believes that there will always be a meeting around the corner. There is no need to swear, no promises, all things ebb and flow, prosperity and decline follow fate.Cultivating the spring and autumn in the scrolls is like a passing cloud, without a trace.The flowers bloomed and faded several times before the court, and childhood, together with the green and fruitless love, became the plot of the drama. That's it, after the performance is over, a page is turned.