Chapter 7 chapter Five

It was late when we got back, because it took us a while to get a taxi.During the time when we couldn't get a taxi, we were like two young students, singing "Night in the Suburb of Moss" loudly facing the moon on the road. The sad emotions just now were completely overwhelmed by the relaxation and happiness of our mind and body. overwhelmed. When I was taking the elevator, there was a lady-like woman with heavy make-up, snuggling up to a man with a big belly who seemed to have just returned from supper.The strong fragrance from the young lady's body rushed towards me like a whirlwind, hitting my nose suffering from rhinitis, I couldn't help but sneezed twice, I couldn't help but took a step back, and stood in front of Sima Xiao, Sima Xiao embraced me .The potbellied man frowned, subconsciously lowered his head and sniffed at the lady's head, and the lady also glanced at me with disdain.Embarrassed, I moved my eyes to the side, and the staring eyes of Sima Xiao happened to be reflected in the opposite mirror, and he was staring intently at the man and woman opposite.

Back in the room, I joked, do you envy that man.He widened his eyes, looking puzzled, why?I said he is very romantic!He laughed: who is more romantic?it's me!He is envious of me!He is jealous of me!As soon as he stretched out his arms, he hugged me, and then said, let's see if he is flirtatious or am I flirtatious!Then put me on the bed, and quickly undressed me while kissing the exposed skin.An itchy and crispy feeling slowly rippling on his skin, and accompanied by his hard beard, there was also a kind of pricking pain throbbing faintly.His soft hands were clumsy and flustered on my dress, he kept urging, tell me how to unbutton your skirt, tell me how to open your bodice...

The scholar's clumsiness and boyish loveliness made me feel more and more fond of him.My motherhood came alive inside me and I dropped all shyness to help get our clothes off. In the room full of moonlight, we are like two naked mermaids in mythology, shining with holy luster.He gently picked me up and walked to the bathroom, I heard my heart beating with his heart, dull and powerful. Sima Xiao stood under the nozzle with his arms around me. The warm water flowed down like a silver pillar and landed on our close chests. It was like a light electric shock, which made people feel comfortable and excited.Then our bodies were hit into several small streams of water shining white, pouring down from all directions.The entire bathroom was soon filled with a layer of fog, and the mirror opposite seemed to be covered with a layer of white gauze in an instant and began to become blurred.Sima Xiao slowly lowered his head in the water, and kissed my lips with the jet of water flowing down.An unprecedented tremor seemed to rush into my body under the impact of the water, and I groaned loudly.Sima Xiao was still kissing me non-stop, from lips to neck to chest to abdomen, non-stop sucking the water droplets on my body.I felt like I was going to die, my legs were shaking with excitement, and my whole body was trembling violently as if I had received an electric shock.When I felt that I could no longer support myself, Sima Xiao suddenly hugged me and lay down together.The water in the pool was splashed out a lot and flowed all over the ground.

Under Sima Xiao's crazy embrace, I felt the water in the bathtub swaying non-stop, rushing over our bodies.The excitement made my whole body tremble, as if I was sitting on a rocking boat, sailing on the rough sea.The sound of the rising tide whizzed and rolled up the thick fog and kept roaring in the ears, and the waves seemed to have endless power. I rowed the boat with all my strength, my body and mind filled with the desire to go ashore.The sea is boundless, and the farther and deeper it is, it is connected with the sky.In a trance, I saw a huge creature floating up and down not far away, and its beautiful figure drew a perfect arc in the air when it jumped up.The tide was rushing into the boat in the rush of the huge waves, and I tasted the salty smell of sea water.I also saw that huge fish approaching my boat.I paddled desperately, exhausting all my strength, but I still saw that big fish rushing towards me, and I even saw his big mouth open in a trance.Just at this moment, I saw the shore.With all my strength, I flew up, and the moment the big fish shut up, I jumped onto the shore.Then consciousness went blank and I passed out.

After an unknown amount of time, when I woke up, Sima Xiao was carrying me out of the tub.In his arms, I wept softly.oh!My scholar!I love you!I love you! The morning I spent the night with my lover, I awoke to a bright sun.When I rubbed my sleepy eyes and realized that I was sleeping in a hotel, I realized that the curtains had been drawn on both sides and the windows were wide open.The white silk gauze curtain fluttered in the wind, and the soft sweet morning breeze blew across the cheeks and hair, making the whole body feel comfortable.There was the sound of an electric shaver shaving in the bathroom.I couldn't help but my face became hot.I remembered what I said when Sima Xiao asked me how I felt when we came out of the bathroom and lay side by side on the bed at night. I said, I seem to have passed out, has it been a long time?Sima Xiao laughed loudly, and twisted my nose and said, "You poor fellow."

Sima Xiao came out wearing only a pair of underwear, his body was white, glowing with a healthy glow in the fresh morning sun.I suddenly found that there were a few black hairs growing sparsely in the center of his chest, like a few weeds sprouting from the bare ground, which added a bit of majesty and wildness to his refined temperament.He walked up to me with a smile, put his face next to my ear, and said softly, my little lover is still a little lazy person, and he didn't wake up until an hour after I woke up.Accompanied by his voice, a fragrance and cool smell permeated around me continuously, and a small stream twisted and twisted towards the nasal cavity, and immediately a kind of itching began to appear in the nasal cavity, I took a few breaths , The sneeze did not come out.Sima Xiao was so frightened that he straightened up hastily.Seeing my appearance, I couldn't help laughing: No wonder this cute little woman doesn't wear perfume!

At this time, he suddenly took out his tie and said, let's play a game.Not allowing me to ask questions, he immediately covered my eyes with the tie.My eyes darkened for a moment, I don't know what kind of medicine he sold in the gourd. His gentle voice whispered softly in my ear, baby, hold out your hand.I obediently held out both hands, and felt him put a ring on me.When he removed the tie from my eyes, my eyes first saw a white glare from the blur.When I looked over again, I saw clearly that I was wearing a beautiful diamond ring on my finger, and it was shining beautifully on my middle finger, reflecting the bright sunlight outside the window.

At this time, I also remembered the gift I bought for him, so I took it out.He was a little embarrassed, but finally put it on at my insistence.It fits perfectly and is very handsome.I looked at my dressed lover with satisfaction, happy and proud. About ten o'clock we parted, for he had to go back before evening.I walked out of the station and looked at the crowd, but my heart was like a happy bird, and I felt like I was flying when I walked.There was a little girl with disheveled hair, one coat was long and the other was short, which made people feel funny and sad. She stretched out her hand to me timidly, her eyes were full of fear and inferiority. I took out five yuan and handed it to me. Her hand, in exchange for her eyes full of gratitude.

Half an hour later, I was standing at the door of my house.When I opened the door of the house, I was stunned: the living room was full of smoke, and on the sofa in the smoke was sitting an expressionless husband, spitting white smoke out of his mouth, and on the coffee table in front The ashtray was full of cigarette butts.He has quit smoking for several years. In just a split second, my joyful mood just now was completely terrified. I was like a corpse that was suddenly frozen, without words, thoughts, expressions, or movements.I heard a few words squeezed out of his hoarse voice, sprayed out like sparks, what are you doing?

I was so guilty that I didn't dare to ask him when he would come back, so I could only vaguely say that I was with my friends. When did you go?With what friends?His eyes were bloodshot, like the bloodshot eyes of a fish peeled from the belly of a fish.I hurriedly avoided it, and moved my eyes to the wedding photo on the opposite wall, where I saw me smiling sweetly. I didn't know how to answer because I couldn't figure out what he knew.So I had to foolishly talk about him like all guilty fools, where is the child?Because I have not heard the child's movement. It doesn't matter if this question is asked, his emotions became even more agitated, he stood up from the sofa, and then ran around the room like an enraged gorilla, his voice suddenly raised Badu, he yelled: You still have the face to raise your child, where have you been?Are you worthy to be a mother?

Amidst his excited shouts, I finally understood: they came back yesterday evening because the child was sick.He kept calling me and searched all over the homes of his classmates and relatives, but his phone was always turned off.And I also learned that the baby was on an infusion last night when I spent a romantic evening with my lover in the countryside. Things were bad, and badly bad.When I rushed to the bedroom and saw the red face of the sleeping child with a fever, I felt like a stone sinking in the bottom of the water, and I felt that I was too heavy to lift up.A terrifying thought quickly flashed through my mind: I have received retribution for my sins.The child was awakened by his cries, and his large eyes were listless with illness, empty and blank.When she saw me in front of her, she turned over and half sat up, put her arms around my waist, and started to cry, her little nose shrugged, and the tears flowed like a tick. The little braids at the back of her head were messed up, unkempt, and shaking from crying.In the crying of my daughter, I actually thought of the little girl at the train station.I couldn't help having a sore nose, and tears filled my eyes for a moment, regretting my disobedience to women. In the afternoon, I took the child to transfuse again. In the evening, the child improved obviously, and the fever subsided.Like a happy kitten, the little girl began to hop around the room cheerfully, chewing bubble gum incessantly, talking vaguely about the experiences and sights she saw during the journey, and from time to time her mouth A big white bubble came out, so I ran to me or my husband to show off, and then let the bubble soften, and then I ate it again, chewing and chewing vaguely.But her husband's gloomy face never cleared up. At night, when the child finished watching TV and was about to go to bed, she ran to the study for some unknown reason, and shouted inside: Dad, have you turned off the computer yet? This sentence did not attract my attention at first, but when my daughter shouted again, an inexplicable fear suddenly appeared in my heart, which quickly reminded me of the unease when the "May 1st" Day came.Almost at the same time, a terrible premonition rose in my heart. I went in with an uneasy heart and was about to turn off the computer. When I just moved the keyboard, the screen turned on again.I was dumbfounded: my mailbox was on the screen, and it showed twenty letters in my inbox. Husband has deciphered my mailbox password!He has read my letter! My mailbox was set up by my husband, I just changed the password after I met Sima Xiao.And the password just changed from my daughter's birthday to mine!How can I be so careless!But the only good thing is that the letters in this mailbox are only the first 20 letters since I met Sima Xiao.After the twentieth letter, that is, a few days before my lover and I got together, I reset the new mailbox after repeated reminders from scholars, and the letters that were passionate and talked about the longing after parting It's in the new mailbox.But even so, those twenty letters were enough to give my husband insight into our feelings and privacy. I knew I was doomed, I knew there was going to be a storm when the baby fell asleep. As the night deepened, the little girl finally fell asleep.The thick layer of dark clouds in the house piled up more and more thickly, and it made me almost suffocate. I felt like I was sitting on pins and needles, my whole body was tingling and my mood was flustered.I kept mobilizing all my brain cells to find excuses, excuses, and ways to get out.In the end I found myself not thinking of any good strategies and reasons.I want to admit that I am unlucky, or admit to online dating.But I clearly know that I can only admit to online dating, I can only confess up to this point, and I insist on it. Looking at my husband who was sitting on the sofa and smoking like crazy, I felt flustered and short of breath.Like all people who want to deny after doing something wrong, I stupidly decided that I should avoid him first, and I can hide for a while. I walked over lightly, past my husband, as cautiously as if I was afraid of waking a sleeping lion.I'm going to take a shower first to delay the time. When I turned on the faucet and finished washing my hair, I found that my facial cleanser was still in the bag, so I had to walk into the living room wrapped in a towel. As I fumbled for facial cleanser from my bag, I peeked out of the corner of my eye at my husband who was smoking a cigarette on the sofa, and then slipped past him trembling. As people say, the more you are afraid of something, the more you will have something.When I tried my best to pass by my husband without making a sound, something horrific happened: I subconsciously put my hand in the bag to touch the cleanser, but the bag followed my hand because it contained too much. Something slid out that barely caught my attention as it was so light and of no color and by the time it slid off the back of my hand and caught my attention it was too late as it landed lightly right on the hubby In front of him: That's a condom! My husband froze when he saw what was in front of his feet, and I was shocked almost at the same time! It was one of the boxes I picked up from home before the appointment, because these days are my dangerous period, and I know that my scholar lover will not take this kind of thing into consideration.I remember when I put on makeup in the morning and found that the box had been opened and some of it had fallen out.It must have been used the day before, and I forgot to close my mouth because I was in a hurry after taking out one.After a moment of fright, my brain immediately entered a state of emergency mobilization, and I thought I must get through this level, no matter what kind of lies I told. Before my mind recovered, the husband in front of me suddenly roared and stood up, as agile as a raging beast.He grabbed me all of a sudden, opened his eyes and asked: What kind of friends do you need to bring this kind of equipment with you?Your netizen, right? I feel like my face is getting sallow, but I still brace myself for an excuse.Because I know I have to get through this or it's all over.I was terrified, and lied shamelessly that it was a family planning product issued by my unit, and I had forgotten to keep it at home.As for the letter you saw in the mailbox, I do have a netizen, but we are only limited to the Internet... My husband interrupted my vulnerable explanation and yelled with a hideous face, the unit will issue one?Is the gathering mentioned in your letter limited to online?I weakly continued to lie, the condoms were all in the bag, the box might be broken.As for my husband's second question, I was still trying to defend myself. I said, our reunion...just... I can't go on. Scalp, like a rascal talking stupid nonsense again, what we call a get together is online...   I heard my voice getting smaller and smaller, and I was too guilty to let my husband hear me. You have a really thick skin, but unfortunately your level is too low.My husband waved his arms in front of me, his face livid, and he roared loudly.Then he suddenly stretched out his long arms and snatched the open bag from my hand.Next, before I could react, I dropped the bag.The black leather bag with its mouth open flashed past me, like a black bat flying past my eyes, and then hit the wall of the living room with a "slap", and quickly flipped over and fell to the ground.And in this process, the bag full of stuff, cleanser, face cream, compact, lipstick, etc. rolled out, rattled and rolled around, and a few condoms mixed inconspicuously in. He yelled frantically, liar, whore, and ran back and forth viciously in front of me, angrily kicking everything he touched under his feet. When he kicked the leather bag on the ground, the new Danger reappeared.The leather bag soared into the air again, and in the process of falling, a few more things fell out of it, one of which was a small box with a square and exquisite forged surface flipped a few times on the ground and stopped right in front of my husband and I.We noticed it at the same time, and I saw my husband with bloodshot eyes on the opposite side suddenly stop his moving feet and angry mouth.And again I was petrified. How did I forget it? ! One wave of ups and downs and another wave of ups and downs, what should I say about this lie? I haven't recovered from the shocking mailbox and condom incident, and I'm facing such a catastrophe again.For a moment I felt dizzy and could barely hold on.I just remember my husband stopping at that moment, remembering how he seemed to have forgotten about the condom, and the way he was so engrossed in the box.Then what I remember is my first reaction when I woke up, which was to bend down instinctively and quickly to grab it.I think out of the instinct to protect myself, maybe I want to save something at the last moment.But when I reached out to get close to it, my husband snatched it away. The air in the whole living room seemed to freeze, and was enveloped in a terrible silence and quiet by a huge net.His hands were trembling from excitement, anger or fear, as if he was holding a Pandora's box, fearing that when he opened it, all the demons would rush out. Looking at the distorted face of my husband and the beautiful box in his hand, my heart was beating wildly, like a leaf that was about to fall from the treetop in the cold wind after autumn, and it would fall with the wind at any moment. passed away. Time passed by second by second, and the husband seemed to have murdered and his eyes were red, and his face and neck were red and terrifying like they were dyed with red paint.He turned the exquisite little box twice in his hand, looking for the hidden twist to open it.When his fingers pressed down on the lid, I suddenly felt so weak that I couldn't stand anymore, I could already hear the beating of my heart rushing to my throat, it was like a fully drawn bow, just a little more use A little force might break it. I closed my eyes. There was a loud "pop", a burning pain piercingly spread to my brain nerves, and then, there was chaos in front of my eyes, and I felt that there were countless colorful flying objects rushing in the darkness, red, green, purple, yellow, etc. White, blue, green, butterflies, bees, bats, computer screen protectors, flying windows, leaves in a strong wind, rushing to my eyes from far and near, I feel as if I am being sucked in, and in the black Facing these flying objects in the chaos and rushing forward, there is no end, no stop, no time, and no change. The head and face are constantly touching these oncoming light flying objects, and the head and face start to feel a little painful.The blacker I fly, the deeper I sink, it is a bottomless black hole, maybe it is the black hole before the universe was created.I think.One day this hole will explode and produce the universe. At that time, I will also explode into pieces, which may generate huge energy and become a certain planet. In my chaos, I heard another "snap", and the sharp pain on my face woke me up.I tried my best to open my eyes, and there were a few beams of beautiful and dazzling light in front of my eyes. Following the converging point of these beams of light, I saw the beautiful box that was opened, and saw a piece of pink paper held by my husband's two fingers. , and the bloodshot eyes and distorted face of the husband next to her. My husband turned around again with his long arms outstretched. I instinctively covered my head with my hands, squatted down quickly, and avoided the third blow.The angry husband slammed the box hard at me. The box flew to my chest, landed on my lap, and then rolled to the ground in front of my feet.For two seconds or more, the husband made no sound.I squatted in place, still holding my head in my hands, and waited stupidly for the development of the situation.However, there was no sound. After an unknown amount of time, I finally timidly lifted my head out of my two arms.I saw a hopeless, sad face.Then, under my terrified gaze, my husband turned around resolutely, viciously rubbed the pink piece of paper a few times, and threw it at me. He rushed into the bedroom. I squatted on the ground in the middle of the living room, still in shock.And the dazzlingly white ring with diamonds remained silent like an innocent beautiful girl being bullied for no reason, but even so, that exquisite diamond was still beautiful, dazzling and crystal clear in the dimly lit living room. The clear light dominates the scenery, and the small crumpled pink note next to it is my lover's message, written in a few strong lowercase letters: To my eternal lover, Xiao. I really didn't expect it to come so soon.There is no need to explain everything, let alone lie or cover up.I sat dejectedly on the floor of the living room, feeling a sense of collapse in my heart. The night was very deep, and there was silence all around, and the monstrous waves in the room seemed to have calmed down, but I knew that a huge tide was brewing in this calm. The silence in the bedroom made me even more frightened.After experiencing the accident just now, I was paralyzed in a random corner like a piece of discarded armor after the war, and my whole body was exhausted.The clock on the wall was still running relentlessly, and it was already one o'clock. There was a sudden noise in the bedroom, I heard the sound of my husband's slippers moving back and forth on the floor, heavy and depressing, then a crackling sound, and finally I heard the sound of a zipper being pulled.I don't know what my husband is doing, but an ominous feeling has overwhelmed me. The husband finally came out, carrying a travel bag in his hand, like a wounded wolf, with sadness and despair written in his eyes and face.I was stunned. When I realized that he was going to leave me and my daughter, all my pride and shame were instantly replaced by deep regret and extreme fear.I stood up in desperation, rushed over, hugged my husband's leg frantically, and burst into tears. He slowly opened my hands, then broke free from my body and continued to walk forward.When he opened the door, I didn't know where the courage came from, I rushed forward and hugged his back again.For the first time, I felt a fear of losing him.I pitifully blocked him, begged, disregarded shame, disregarded dignity. I can't care so much anymore, because I think I love him, I love my husband, I love this man, and because I deeply hurt this man who loves me.No matter how humble I am in front of him, I deserve what I deserve.I hugged him hard, but I felt like I was hugging a thick wooden stake, but he didn't respond at all.I was sobbing with tears all over my face.He just stood there without making a sound, without moving. I love you, don't go!I love you, love this family, I was confused for a moment, please forgive me.I say it shamelessly, please forgive me!I felt the body I was hugging shake slightly, and I thought he had finally reacted, so I continued to pray, we still have children, and we still have more than ten years of relationship... At this time, I felt the stump in my arms start to tremble slightly, but it was only so short, not even a minute, when he suddenly puffed out his chest and broke free from me.He opened the door, and before I reached out again, he rushed out without looking back.There was a sound of footsteps going farther and farther away, and gradually disappeared. In an instant, my body was like a pile of boneless flesh, and as his footsteps went away, my body collapsed on the ground, without any life, not even tears.But his mind was blank, and his consciousness seemed to have flown out of the room with the opening and closing of the door, and landed in a certain corner to die.