Chapter 11 Chapter Eleven

From autumn to winter, the Fan family's work and family have become like a mirror on a sunny lake, and the occasional flying birds only bring some fluctuations or ripples to these quiet lakes.For example, Yan Yan's occasional look at Fan Zhengwen, and Sun Mei's occasional nights out, etc., did not have any impact on these two smooth sailing boat-like families.Yan Yan fell silent after leaving that time, and all her emotions seemed to be outside of Fan Zhengwen and his family, and Sun Mei was as quiet as Yan Yan, and her flags and drums died down.Without these dissonant notes, the long winter reveals a bit of coziness and ease in the monotonous and boring theme.In many cases, the Fan Zhengwen siblings had a faint feeling that this was just an illusion of something, or it could be said that it was the temporary calm before the storm.However, since nothing has erupted yet, the busy work and the idea of ​​getting ahead make them spend more time thinking about the dark tide that is surging under the calm lake.The days are like flowing water flowing towards unknown places day by day, and the stormy and stormy scenes of the past are drifting backwards with this seemingly cloudy day.Life is always full of ups and downs. After all, there will be an end to the calm days. Fan Zhengwen had already foreseen this feeling, but she never thought about how this kind of days would end. What kind of event ends, or temporarily ends.Fortunately, without any premonition, this moment came suddenly with the approach of the Spring Festival.

There are only 12 days left until the Spring Festival, and the driver asked for leave due to a temporary errand, so Fan Zhengwen temporarily drove by himself in the tide of work.There must be something that modern technology cannot explain.Whenever Fan Zhengwen thought of this special day, she felt indescribably confused.The road was not too congested, but she was upset for no reason.When she was about two intersections away from the unit, her nasal cavity suddenly felt itchy, and two consecutive loud sneezes came out of her mouth.Before she had time to wipe off the spit of saliva from her mouth, her cell phone jingled.

The old minister is gone.The minister's wife's frightened voice came from the phone. Fan Zhengwen didn't understand what was going on at first, but when the minister's wife cried again, she felt her heart was hit twice by a heavy hammer. The sound was like someone smashing her car.In an instant, the car under him jumped up twice like a rabbit on the verge of death.At this time, the red light had just come on, and the car in front was slowing down to a stop. When her car braked to a stop, it was only about 30 centimeters away from the car in front.At this time, she felt a hot current rushing out of her body, and the pants between her legs were wet:

She wet her pants! Sweat was already streaming down Fan Zhengwen's forehead, she heard a voice on the phone saying, come quickly, is the old minister calling you? The seemingly endless red lights were finally replaced by green lights. After passing the intersection, Fan Zhengwen's car accelerated rapidly, and then jumped onto the sidewalk like a crazy wild cat, turned around and flew in another direction.She wants to rush over to see the man who has been helping her with all his strength for more than ten years, a boss who loves her so much but doesn't ask for anything in return.Since she temporarily presided over the minister's work, the old minister's condition has stabilized for a while, and he even explained to her a lot of ways to be an official when he was allowed to meet guests and talk.He had always promised that when he got better, he would arrange a special banquet for Fan Zhengwen to formally get to know his former subordinate Wan Changqing, who is now a member of the Standing Committee of the Provincial Party Committee and Deputy Secretary of the Provincial Party Committee.He told her that in order to stand firm in the political circle and climb up step by step, quality and ability are essential, but a certain amount of support is also necessary.However, his physical condition did not wait until it got better, but he waited for such a terrible ending.

Fan Zhengwen's hands holding the steering wheel had already started to tremble, and his legs became limp.Fortunately, the journey was not too long. Fifteen hours later, Fan Zhengwen was already standing in front of the old minister's bed, sweating profusely. Others, including the minister's wife, retreated quietly.They knew that the old minister would have a lot to say to this proud subordinate back then.It was strangely quiet in the ward, and in this quietness, everything seemed to stand still.Except for one thing: Fan Zhengwen's tears were silently streaming down his cheeks, down his chin, and ticking onto the front of his woolen coat.Farewell to life and death, Fan Zhengwen had already experienced it when Ouyang Xu died. Perhaps because of the breakdown of her relationship with Ouyang Xu, especially the method of Ouyang Xu's death, she experienced more of Ouyang Xu's death and the considerable time after his death. fear.But this time, facing this man with a special relationship, she felt the pain of parting for the first time.That's right, just now, while she was grieving over the loss of this man, she still kept in mind what the old minister had promised.But now, facing this disappearing life, the departure of this man who had given her countless favors, she suddenly woke up from the world of mortals.From now on, where can I find such a relationship that has been in love for many years without fading?Where to find such unrequited care?Only now did she feel that her ministerial position, her future, seemed so insignificant compared to her life.However, everything is a foregone conclusion.Human beings can never surpass the laws of nature.There was nothing she could do, and she cried about it.

The old minister's eyes finally settled quietly on Fan Zhengwen's face.He opened his gray lips with difficulty, and said the first sentence, a sentence that nearly broke Fan Zhengwen's emotions: I'm sorry, Zhengmon, but the things I promised haven't been fulfilled. No, as soon as the word came out, Fan Zhengwen suddenly grinned his lips and began to cry silently.She squatted halfway in front of the old minister's bed, buried her face deeply in the old minister's palm, and let the tears flow wantonly in his generous hands.And her intermittent words came out through the fingers of the old minister: No, I don't want anything, I just want you to live.

Voices were heard in the corridor, and the old minister's hand was quickly withdrawn. Fan Zhengwen knew that this intimate contact between her and the old minister could only be kept a secret forever.She wiped away her tears and sat on the chair next to her again, quickly returning to the respectful state of the past.At this time, the old minister was already out of breath, and he frowned and began to make the final arrangement when his life was coming to an end: Listen, Jeong-moon, I don't have much time left.So could not have prepared a better plan for you.Wan Changqing will arrive in a while, and I have already asked someone to call him.I hope that starting today, you can approach him and I will let him take care of you.

Fan Zhengwen was very surprised, she never expected to meet an important person in such a way at such a place and time.However, the old minister had no choice. He was desperately trying to find a political life support for her.In front of the life of her lover who was about to pass away, her eyes were full of tears, and she didn't know whether to reject this arrangement or accept it. Zhengwen, since you are serving this bowl of official career, don't think about retreating, you can only go on better and harder.Backing down is never an option in this arena.Although backing is very vulgar, it is necessary in some environments and at other times.Although this Wan Changqing is not ideal, but right now he has no choice.But let me remind you that a backer is a backer after all, and it depends on one's own ability to survive.Conversely, it is often very difficult to rely on ability alone without support.But backing also has its disadvantages.

Although Fan Zhengwen was familiar with these things from his experience in the officialdom, when the old minister mentioned them plainly, it still made her shudder.The old minister seemed to see her reaction, took a breather, and panted: Zhengwen, remember that at any time, you must rely on your own efforts and abilities, and you must not give yourself all to the backer. You should always prepare in advance to leave a back road, or even multiple back roads.As for how to find your way out, it will only depend on you in the future. Fan Zhengwen's eyes were filled with tears.In her impression, the old minister had never said such unprincipled words.Perhaps it was because he cared too much about her and worried about her future that the old minister violated his life principles and political creeds to give her such advice at the last moment.Fan Zhengwen's heart ached. At that moment, she really wanted to announce her feelings for the old minister to people.She wants to tell people that she loves this man, loves this dying man.However, she couldn't, she could only let this life dissipate from her front like the smell of Lysol in the air with a rational attitude and fly out of the window like other subordinates.

After the long talk, the old minister seemed to have fulfilled some kind of mission and slowly closed his eyes.He had indeed exhausted his last strength, his pale face began to turn yellow, black, and dry, as if an old tree whose roots had been removed was rapidly withering and dying, only the half-open mouth remained panting.When Fan Zhengwen was trying to stand up and call for a doctor, he suddenly opened his cloudy eyes again and stared impatiently at the wall behind Fan Zhengwen.Fan Zhengwen turned around, only to find a wall clock there.She suddenly understood that the old minister was anxiously waiting for Wan Changqing.He was afraid that it would be too late to hand Fan Zhengwen into Wan Changqing's hands.

Wan Changqing finally came. Twenty minutes later, he stepped on the old minister's last struggling breath.In such an environment that was too quiet and depressing, this tall, handsome and hot-tempered man rushed in like a ball of fire.For a moment, it seemed that some kind of solvent was stirred, and the atmosphere in the room suddenly became lively.In the man's clean, sunny greeting, the old minister's eyes once again flashed a bright spark, which was the reflection of life.Fan Zhengwen thought of this word all of a sudden. It's just that the return light is too short.When the old minister introduced Fan Zhengwen to Wan Changqing, before he had time to say more, his panting suddenly increased, and he leaned back, staring nervously and painfully at the eyes of the man and woman in front of the bed. Reluctantly closed.At the last moment, both Wan Changqing and Fan Zhengwen heard the last few words from the old man's mouth: Take care of her! After the intense preparation and busyness of the three seasons of summer, autumn and winter, Fan Zhengzhang's dairy processing factory finally produced the first batch of products on the Lantern Festival after the Spring Festival.In order to make a good first shot in the market, Fan Zhengzhang and Jiang Deshi racked their brains to carry out a large-scale plan. First, they called for bidding for advertising companies, selected one of the four advertising companies' proposals, and signed a contract of 600,000 yuan. Contracts.In this contract, Fan Zhengzhang is most optimistic about the company's first plan: a large-scale and novel promotional campaign designed for the first batch of products - "virgin milk". Since this province has no well-known brand-name dairy products, in addition to several well-known dairy brands in other provinces to segment the market, there are also some small dairy processing factories that are not in scale and climate in small areas.In order to change this status quo, Fan Zhengzhang and the advertising company are planning to launch this brand with a large amount of money, making it the number one milk brand in the province.In order to choose a famous name, Fan Zhengzhang mobilized relevant leaders and colleagues of the Department of Agriculture, as well as dairy factory and farm workers, and solicited insightful people in the advertising industry to brainstorm, and finally went to the mountain to invite a fortune teller, and finally named it——Yuxiang dairy.After the name is decided, all publicity starts. First of all, a pre-announcement publicity was made in the major media in the province.Due to the great determination to build a brand, the publicity campaign began like a storm, overwhelming.In the few days before the launch, the information about Yuxiang brand milk has penetrated into the streets and alleys of Huayang.While the people in Huayang City were eagerly waiting for the Yuxiang dairy products, major media outlets published an extremely deceptive news at the same time. The main content is as follows: In order to build a dairy brand in the province and gain the support of the elders in the hometown, Yuxiang Dairy will donate the first batch of 25 tons of milk to the people in the provincial capital for free.Time: 9:00 am to 11:00 am on the Lantern Festival of the first lunar month; Venue: Major squares in the provincial capital; Method: Free distribution. On the morning of the Lantern Festival, the weather was particularly favorable, and the bright sunshine gave Fan Zhengzhang a feeling of early spring.There is an old saying that "people are refreshed on happy occasions", and Fan Zhengzhang really felt it on this day.In these busy days, Fan Zhengzhang not only didn't feel tired because of all kinds of busyness, but was inspired by the excitement and became more energetic and radiant.God seems to understand this talented person, and as if to fulfill him, designed such a perfect sunshine on this day.Colorful flags are flying, gongs and drums are blaring, and all the squares are filled with festive atmosphere because of this event.On the largest People's Square in the city, Fan Zhengzhang was conducting a large-scale ribbon-cutting event, and invited the provincial deputy governor in charge of economy to cut the ribbon. The mayor of Huayang City, the provincial capital, the director and deputy director of the Department of Agriculture were all present During this ribbon-cutting event, major media outlets from across the province also gathered here to report on this large-scale event.After the ribbon-cutting event, along with the distribution of milk, a large-scale theatrical performance also began.Everything seemed so perfect, the approval of the leaders, the admiration of the subordinates, the joy of the people, the fueling of the media, etc., made Fan Zhengzhang feel that the career is so easy to grasp, and the bright future is even more within reach. This is all I want, wonderful and extraordinary!When Fan Zhengzhang followed the leader and left the square, he thought proudly, this is the world of my activities, and this is the career and glory I want. At noon, the Department of Agriculture came forward, Fan Zhengzhang paid for it, and held a leadership and media appreciation meeting at the largest hotel in the provincial capital.At the meeting, Fan Zhengzhang once again showed his extraordinary communication skills.In the past many years, Fan Zhengzhang has always felt that he is a person who is not good at communicating, especially with leaders.However, today's appreciation meeting made him discover for the first time the ability he had hidden for many years that he hadn't developed.Not only did he have a very appropriate communication with the deputy governor, but he obviously left a good impression on the deputy governor, so that when the wine was over, the deputy governor walked up to him and patted him on the shoulder, telling him Work hard, and half-seriously half-jokingly said, young people, the future is boundless! Whether the future is boundless or not, and where he will go in the future, Fan Zhengzhang doesn't have any clear plan in mind, or a definite ideal.However, with his confidence in himself, especially after experiencing such a large-scale event today, he discovered that there is infinite energy hidden in himself.It convinced him he could go higher and better.So that night, he and Ruan Rong had a sex activity that he thought was unprecedented and unprecedented. After the monstrous waves, there was a dead silence.This tranquility lasted perhaps only a few minutes.When Fan Zhengzhang suddenly woke up from his exhausted short sleep, he suddenly remembered everything he had experienced during the day: flowers, colorful flags, leaders, and the media. The feeling of ease made him return to the officialdom and the state of excitement he had recently. .He suddenly felt that he was born to be a politician, but also an entrepreneur, and a scholar.He not only writes good articles, but also can create and manage a brand, and he can be like a fish in water in the officialdom.He discovered that he had such a talent.Yes, he reminded himself, time to set a goal.For the first time, he seriously analyzed his own situation, the strength of the department chiefs who were comparable to him in the Department of Agriculture, and the situation of all the leaders of the Department of Agriculture.By this time, he found that he had stood out from the group of directors of the Department of Agriculture, and the current team of department-level cadres in the Department of Agriculture was obviously aging.Therefore, after a few years, there may not be a place for him in this rank.This was the conclusion he came to that night after half an hour of analysis.Once he came to this conclusion, he sat up suddenly.He wanted to go home, maintain his relationship with Sun Mei, maintain a seemingly complete family, for the sake of his future, and for the future position of director.On that day, he firmly believed that as long as he continued to develop like this and worked hard, the position of the future director would be unquestionable. Maybe it was because he was too excited, or maybe he was too fascinated by the position of director. In the fantasy of the future, Fan Zhengzhang made a terrible mistake in a daze that day. Due to the haste to leave, especially because he was always thinking about his future position as director, when he got up from Ruan Rong's bed, he forgot to take a shower like usual.And Ruan Rong has been in a sleepy state, and of course she can't think of reminding him.Everything was in a haze, from when he left Ruan Rong's body to when he lay beside Sun Mei, during the whole process, he felt as if he was floating in a dream.Including flying through the clouds and fog like a speeding car flying over a sea of ​​clouds, to the mirage-like night scene flying by, all are so strange.Like the feeling of being drunk, but also like the feeling of a dream. Recalling the whole process, the consciousness seems to be hypnotized. Fortunately, Sun Mei had already fallen asleep, so she didn't notice his mental state at all.However, if you walk more at night, you are more likely to run into ghosts.Just like the old Chinese saying, if you often walk by the water, there is no reason not to get your shoes wet.In the middle of the night, when Sun Mei suddenly woke up due to the need to urinate, and the moment she returned to the bed from the bathroom, she suddenly felt a faint fragrance hit her nostrils. The edge flew up.As if someone had pulled a nerve in her brain, she felt a sudden tension in her vigilance.She gathered herself together, stood in front of the bed, followed the oncoming scent, and finally found that the scent came from her husband Fan Zhengzhang. Sun Mei hadn't quarreled with Fan Zhengzhang for a long time, and after trying various methods, she had no choice but to live her own life desperately.She no longer expects Fan Zhengzhang's love, she can only wait, and she doesn't know and doesn't want to know what kind of result she is waiting for.The light was turned on by Sun Mei, and under the light, Fan Zhengzhang was sleeping in a dream, with a happy and peaceful face.When Sun Mei was staring at this man full of fragrance, she suddenly noticed that Fan Zhengzhang was smiling happily, and in the shadow of this smile, there was a faint blur in Fan Zhengzhang's neck. mark.Sun Mei moved over quietly, but saw that it was a complete lipstick mark. Sun Mei's mind went blank.She suddenly didn't know what to do.In fact, she already knew that Fan Zhengzhang had a woman, but this was the first time that she brought back traces of a woman in such a clear way.Isn't this what she has been looking for for a long time?When Sun Mei asked herself like this, she found that the evidence in front of her made her lose all of her fighting spirit and curiosity in the past.At this moment, apart from finding herself so helpless and vulnerable, the one thing she wanted to do the most was: cry! In her heart, her husband is undoubtedly a man with a successful career and a golden house, but now she is a woman who has neither love nor career.The contrast caused her to feel indescribable resentment towards this man besides incomparable self-pity.She once remembered that when Fan Zhengzhang became the deputy director, she had expectations of him, and even more remembered her incomparable gratitude and fantasies to him when he became the farm director: a husband is a noble wife and a prosperous wife.But now she finds that all the beautiful imaginations have disappeared with Fan Zhengzhang's indifference to her, and even the improvement in the quality of life she was once proud of has become worthless now.Therefore, when Fan Zhengzhang's smile appeared in front of the tearful Sun Mei again in the dream, Sun Mei was sure that Fan Zhengzhang in the dream was having sex with his new love, and Sun Mei only now remembered that Fan Zhengzhang had not given love to her for a long time. Live the most basic content of life between her husband and wife. I hate you!I hate you!Imagining the love between Fan Zhengzhang and another woman, Sun Mei's tears were finally replaced by anger.When a sentence of gnashing of teeth scolded did not affect Fan Zhengzhang's happy face in his sleep, Sun Mei felt that the anger in her heart could no longer be contained.A second later, she jumped up like a furious she-wolf, and flew out with a muffled scolding "fuck you", Fan Zhengzhang's quilt was caught in Sun Mei's hand, and then Flying up like a huge butterfly, in the dim light of the bedroom, a moving black shadow rolled out.Then, like a big bird shot by an arrow, it fell silently on the ground in front of the bed. Maybe he was too tired during the day, maybe the dream was so beautiful that Fan Zhengzhang didn't wake up.He just muttered something in a daze, then turned over and continued to dream his dream.It's such a coincidence that every link, including every gap, is so tightly fastened, and there is no difference. Maybe this is God's will.Fan Zhengzhang is used to wearing pajamas at night, especially after taking a bath, he often doesn't even wear underwear inside.When he got up from Ruan Rong in a daze that night, not only did he not take a shower, he didn't even wear his underwear. To save trouble after returning home, he grabbed a nightgown and put it on.But it was this nightgown that caused him an irreparable disaster.When Fan Zhengzhang turned over, because the nightgown was not tied with a belt, the whole nightgown was pressed under his body at once, but when he turned around, his entire back and buttocks were exposed, and he was pointing directly at Sun Mei.What Sun Mei saw, Sun Mei couldn't believe her eyes: There is a line of English letters "I LOVE YOU" written in red pen on Fan Zhengzhang's back. There was darkness in front of him, like a car suddenly getting into a tunnel, and the surroundings suddenly entered a terrifying silent world.Sun Mei felt as if she had broken into another space. All the familiar sights and sounds stopped at a certain point, as if suddenly frozen by some huge and mysterious force.To be exact, it landed on Fan Zhengzhang's dazzlingly white butt.Because when Sun Mei came to her senses, she couldn't see anything except Fan Zhengzhang's apple-shaped butt decorated with black and white patterns. The wind was blowing from nowhere, and it was getting stronger and stronger, making Sun Mei feel that the world was alive again.But that wind is beyond this new life.With sharp whistling and wind and sand, it smashed towards Sun Mei's whole body indiscriminately.First, there was pain on the naked face, then on the body under the clothes, and finally the place where Sun Mei felt the most pain was the innermost part of the body - the heart.That kind of pain is not like a needle-like pain on the face, nor is it like a knife-like pain on the skin covered by clothes, but like when two continents were squeezed during ancient crustal activities, a certain part of the ground gradually bulged.She felt that the heart in her body was expanding and rising little by little, like the earth's crust bulging under some kind of pressure shock.But the difference is that the uplifted earth's crust can bulge up without limit because of the infinite space outside, but her heart is blocked by her thin body, and she can't get out.It swelled up like that, but was squeezed back, constantly hitting the fence of her body, but was oppressed by the outer wall of her body.She wanted to tear her body apart, she wanted her heart to rush out to form a majestic mountain to release the infinite energy in her body.This energy is the resentment and grief she has accumulated for many years. However, she couldn't destroy her body, there was only one thing she could do right now.When she understood the current situation, she saw a shadow in the room jumping onto the bed like a beast, and a pendulum-like foot slid across the air.Then, Fan Zhengzhang was seen falling on the quilt in front of the bed like a big ball of muddy meat. Fan Zhengzhang finally woke up. On the quilt in front of the bed, he sat upright suddenly, his confused expression quickly changed to a vigilant one.He looked up at Sun Mei who was standing on the bed condescendingly and glaring at him, restrained his anger, and asked sharply: What are you doing in the middle of the night? Sun Mei didn't answer Fan Zhengzhang's question. Instead, she kicked Fan Zhengzhang's head again. Fan Zhengzhang tilted his head, avoided Sun Mei's feet, and jumped up in a jerk.At the same time, he cursed angrily: You are fucking crazy! Sun Mei still didn't speak, but kicked Fan Zhengzhang again and again. Fan Zhengzhang tried to catch Sun Mei while dodging left and right while protecting his face.When Sun Mei's feet reached the position directly in front of him, Fan Zhengzhang finally grabbed Sun Mei's feet with both hands.While firmly holding on to Sun Mei's struggling feet, he looked at Sun Mei's gritted teeth and hysterical expression, trying to figure out what was wrong with this woman in the middle of the night.However, aside from madness, Sun Mei's face was rarely silent.For she hardly spoke, not even the customary swearing.He failed.Once he didn't understand what was going on, he could only think that this woman was crazy for no reason.Under this reasoning, Fan Zhengzhang's anger just now quickly turned into extreme boredom and hatred.Therefore, he suddenly felt that the woman's feet in his hands were so annoying.Next, he pushed his hand violently to throw Sun Mei's struggling foot away, and cursed viciously at the same time: Go to hell, you madman! Sun Mei's center of gravity was unstable, and she fell down suddenly. When she fell, except for her two legs that landed on the bed, the rest of her body fell off the bed.Then, there was a muffled groan, followed by a muffled sound, and Sun Mei's legs were up and her head was down, like a stick on the ground in front of the bed. "Go to hell, madman", the desperate Sun Mei was suddenly reminded by Fan Zhengzhang's words.When she fell down, she didn't feel any pain in her body, because she felt that when her heart died, everything was unconscious.She fell down, but without a second's hesitation, she jumped up cleanly like a gymnast.She didn't say anything, didn't even look at anything, including Fan Zhengzhang, and just rushed out of the bedroom. While Fan Zhengzhang was wondering, Sun Mei came back again.Fan Zhengzhang looked at Sun Mei standing at the door of the bedroom with bloodshot eyes, and suddenly shuddered.Not only because of the determined look on Sun Mei's face, but also because of the shiny steel knives that Sun Mei held tightly in each hand! Sun Mei walked over step by step, the light and shadow of the knife in her hand flickered in front of Fan Zhengzhang's eyes like two beams of will-o'-the-wisps as the angles changed.At that moment, Fan Zhengzhang was very convinced that Sun Mei was definitely not trying to scare him, and that the two knives in her hands would never soften as long as they touched him. He believed that Sun Mei was completely insane.In front of Sun Mei, Fan Zhengzhang felt scared for the first time.As he stepped back, he thought about countermeasures and retreats.However, he couldn't run out because the exit of the bedroom was at Sun Mei's place, but how could he avoid this crazy woman? Only two meters away from Sun Mei, when Fan Zhengzhang was about to jump onto the bed, Sun Mei suddenly jumped up and rushed towards him.He panicked and jumped up and down the bed.However, at some point, his sleeve was cut open by Sun Mei's knife.His arm was finally painted, and a thin column of blood was flowing from his arm to his wrist.On the long-handled blade of Sun Mei's right hand, there was already blood-colored light shining under the light. Both of them saw blood, and Fan Zhengzhang thought that Sun Mei would stop what he was doing, because he saw Sun Mei's facial muscles suddenly twitch a few times under the dark yellow skin.After all, she is a woman, so timid!Fan Zhengzhang couldn't help feeling an inexplicable feeling in his heart, whether it was rejoicing, or ridiculing, maybe with a little pity.He couldn't tell.However, he was wrong.Before he could discern what was dominant in this mood, Sun Mei rushed towards him again.And this time it seemed more ferocious.Sun Mei's face was completely distorted, and under the dim light in the room, she couldn't find any shadow of a woman.In Fan Zhengzhang's view, apart from being vicious, vicious, and desperate, that face was indescribably ugly. Sun Mei rushed over, and Fan Zhengzhang jumped onto the bed again.Sun Mei jumped onto the bed, and Fan Zhengzhang jumped off the bed again.However, during this jump, Fan Zhengzhang was half a beat slow because he tripped over the pillow under his feet, so when he jumped out of the bed, he staggered and sat on the ground due to his unstable center of gravity.Sun Mei jumped off the bed again and jumped directly to Fan Zhengzhang's side.At the same time that Fan Zhengzhang jumped up, Sun Mei stepped on Fan Zhengzhang's nightgown strap, Fan Zhengzhang was stunned for a moment, and Sun Mei stabbed the corner of the nightgown on the wooden floor with a knife. Fan Zhengzhang was only a dozen centimeters away from Sun Mei's knife. At that moment, the imminent danger made Fan Zhengzhang quick-witted, and he quickly took off his nightgown while struggling to escape. His entire body was exposed in front of Sun Mei's eyes.Only then did Sun Mei realize that on Fan Zhengzhang's white abdomen, there was a striking red lip shape drawn with a red pen, which was demonstrating to her.Her silence was finally over.There was only a muffled roar coming from her body, as if flying from a closed cave, rushing towards Fan Zhengzhang with echo and wind. Fan Zhengzhang still didn't know what Sun Mei saw. In his eyes, apart from Sun Mei's fierce look, it was the two gleaming knives in her hand.And in his mind, besides how to avoid this crazy woman, was how to rush out of this room.He knew that he had to leave the room quickly, otherwise, in this narrow space, no matter how he could run, the two knives would have difficulty avoiding his body because the space was too small.Sun Mei was standing in front of the small bathroom, and rushed towards him again.He finally made up his mind and began to plan to rush out.When he was rushing to the bed, he attracted Sun Mei, and then, when Sun Mei rushed to the bed, he jumped out of the bed and rushed into the bathroom. The bathroom door was locked by him, and he could finally catch his breath.Although Sun Mei was still pushing and shaking the door frantically outside.At least he can rest for a while. Take a break, he said to himself, yes, take a break.He turned around and looked at himself in the mirror on the wall as usual— what!what! Once he saw the person in the mirror clearly, he suddenly yelled twice.what did he seeThere is a bright red lip pattern on the naked belly, just like what Sun Mei saw.Not only that, because the mirror in front of him can still clearly see the content in the bath mirror on the opposite wall: there is a naked man's back there, and there is a line of "I LOVE YOU" written in red pen on the back. He sat down on the ground all of a sudden, and his body seemed to have his bones removed suddenly.Death deserves more than guilt!Heaven has eyes!These two judgments could not help appearing in his mind. The door outside was pushed harder and harder, and the lock on the bathroom door had begun to loosen. He could hear the sound of Sun Mei prying on the keyhole with a knife.He sat on the ground and remembered the word "trapped beast". What else can he do?What else could he use to protect himself?Can he still escape? Sun Mei had completely lost her mind. After she drove Fan Zhengzhang into the bathroom, all the strength in her body was gathered on her shoulders. She pushed the door desperately while twisting the lock frantically.Through the frosted glass of the bathroom, she could almost see the fear of the naked man.She wanted to laugh, yes, he was finally scared, and she finally vented her anger. The night was very quiet, except for the sound of Sun Mei pushing the door and the creaking sound of the lock turning, Sun Mei suddenly felt some noise coming from behind her, not like footsteps or talking.What the hell?Sun Mei thought, I don't care about anything now, even earthquakes, fires, wars, and shells.I just need to open this door and let that stinky man tremble under my knife and die. Something caught Sun Mei's legs, and for a moment Sun Mei felt that her legs couldn't move.When she looked down at her feet, she found a pale little face full of tears, looking at her beggingly. That's an eight-year-old son! He was kneeling on the ground with both hands tightly hugging Sun Mei's legs, suppressing the constant sobs in his chest, and weeping silently.When he saw his mother's distorted face, he finally cried uncontrollably: Mom, please!Let dad go, mom please!I beg you!I don't want my father to die, and I don't want you to kill him. He started crying softly, but when he said that I don't want my father to die, he couldn't control his crying anymore.He was in such pain that he finally started to cry helplessly, as if to show the world that he was powerless, yes, he was saying, I can't take care of the adult's business, I can only cry. Sun Mei was awakened by her son's helpless and distressed tears.At this moment, the anger in her heart suddenly turned into a bottomless abyss of pain.She stopped what she was doing, stood up straight, and saw the wardrobe in the opposite corner.The full-length mirror on the wardrobe clearly reflects her image: Her clothes were disheveled, her eyes were swollen, and what frightened her the most was the gleaming knives she held in each hand: a watermelon knife and a kitchen knife.Among them, the watermelon knife has a red light flashing on it. In the quiet night, in the bedroom of Mr. Fan's house, there were two not-so-loud bangs on the wooden floor.That was the sound of two knives falling to the ground one after another. 第二天一早，范正章不到六点便开车走了，孙梅则在八点向单位请了假后奔了火车站。坐在出租车里，看着在凛冽北风中缩紧了身体的行人，孙梅有一种梦游般的感觉。是啊，自己为什么坐在车里？Where are you going?要干什么去？她几乎全不知道。所有的感觉只是离开这里，离开夜里那个可怕的梦，那个充满肮脏、暴力，刀光剑影的噩梦。她自觉是一个有修养，有文化素养的女人，是什么让自己变得这样疯狂？这样恶毒？这些人性的扭曲又是从什么时间开始的呢？Why is she doing this?为什么要杀深爱的男人和丈夫呢？一切都没有答案，也许这就是生活？混乱得难以看清，难以辨清，更难以说清。 售票员在问她去哪里，这时她才发现下意识站在了向南列车的售票口。郴州，她声音嘶哑地说了一句，越快越好。这是赵建华所在的城市。她根本不明白为什么在这种迷迷蒙蒙的情况下会选择这里。当她拿着开往郴州的火车票时，她才明白在一夜噩梦后，最想见的人和最想做的事情。 火车半小时后便像一个匆匆的行者，带着孙梅离开了这个让她伤心不已的城市。她一路站着，挤在满是乘客的过道里，脑子里一片混沌。她去那里是不是太唐突，太荒唐，赵建华是否在那里，是否会见她，她要怎么样？她都不太清楚。自从上一次北京那次宾馆尴尬以后，他们两个见了对方都变得有些不太自然。她突然伤感极了，这到底是为什么呀？他们当时那么浪漫，而且充满激情，怎么会那么脆弱呢？时至今日，还有什么东西能够留下吗？既然一切都不可能重来？中断的东西是否还能重续？ 两个小时的路程在孙梅的昏昏然回忆中和黯然神伤中迅速过去了。她随着人流似一只飘零的落叶飘落到这个陌生城市的街头。望着匆匆的行人，她发现自己像只迷路的老狗，彷徨而无助。where to go找谁去？干什么去呀？打电话给赵建华吧，没有什么可顾忌的了，既然走到这一步，还怕什么？ 赵建华的声音充满惊喜，却引不起孙梅任何的情感波澜。她想她的感情，她的心肯定死了，就在昨夜死得轰轰烈烈，悲壮无比。直至赵建华气喘吁吁地站在她跟前，满脸洋溢着幸福和快乐时，她才明白这个男人是她命中注定的缘分。 她就那样偎在了赵建华的身旁，与他一起站在清冷的街头，任冷风呼呼吹过。赵建华无疑是雄壮的，从他那里传来的强烈的男人气息和暖烘烘的热量使她一时间似乎找到了归宿。这种温暖的感觉瞬间让她的眼泪一下子如决堤般流满面颊。是啊，她需要这样的一个男人——一个在她无助时让她依偎的男人，一个在她寒冷时给她温暖的男人，一个在她受伤时帮她疗伤的男人。赵建华就是这样的男人。 事情开始向着未知的方向发展，自然而然，孙梅几乎无法再控制眼前的局面。当赵建华将孙梅带进一间装修简单的单元房内，并一把将孙梅搂入怀中时，孙梅除了泪水长流之外，她一遍遍说给自己的只是下面这样的安慰：没有什么可负疚的，或许世间许多男女在许多不被人看见的地方都是这样的。这也许才是生命的原意所在，是人类的本性使然。就像赵建华一路安慰紧张的孙梅时说的，人为什么非要在那一纸的范围里做爱？人为什么非要在那一张契约中困死？为什么非要在那所谓的文明制度中窒息？生命本应该是自然而然的过程，在这一过程中，人本也应该享受这过程给予的一切美好和快乐的。 尽管不如在北京宾馆的那次更浪漫，更激情，但孙梅体验到的是一种更加纯净的男女激情。虽然这个健壮的身体对她具有极大的诱惑力，虽然这一切发展得顺利而迅速，但从她精神和心灵里对这个男人进行的细致感受和体验中，她发现她身体里包括心灵里所产生的仍不是爱，确切地说不是那种对范正章早年生就的难以自己的爱情。追究起来，她觉得那更像是一种实实在在的感激之情，一种原始的喜爱之情。当眼中的泪水流过耳边渗进密密的头发深处时，她听到自己心里说： 我是一个自然的生命，我应该享受生命赐予我的一切快乐。 我不需为谁去自责，也不需要为谁去内疚。这个男人对我好，我就会报答他。 然而，事情远没有孙梅或者赵建华想像得那样简单。也许婚外恋，尤其是一个受传统教育的女人，一个深爱着丈夫的女人，在真的涉足婚外恋时所克服的心理障碍要远比人们想像得复杂。就像眼下的孙梅，随着赵建华一件一件衣服地脱去，她发现自己身体里的排斥感也一点一点增长，当最后一件衣服——内裤，最后被赵建华往下扯的时候，孙梅感到那种排斥感突然爆炸般膨胀成一堵厚厚的铁墙，并将赵建华毫不留情挡在了外边。她用最后一秒双手捂住眼睛，低头趴伏在赵建华的身前喑哑着嗓子说： 请你——再给我一点时间吧！