Chapter 18 Chapter Eighteen

I really can't tell how I started to "get along" with Wu Mingming. Maybe fate stipulates that I have to suffer such a modest humiliation in this not-so-great life. Maybe it's for me and Ye Shengnan A necessary test of emotional history.I drank too much that day, and when I woke up, I was lying in a closed box, my ears were full of creepy singing, I guess, I was just like the bamboo cracked by this barbaric voice Woke up to singing.Looking around, my good buddies, ribs, braised pork and battered bread were lying on the sofa and sleeping soundly on the floor. At that moment, I admired these buddies very much. Sleep soundly in the environment.Then it became clear to me that we were in the newly popular karaoke box.Thinking of being able to transport the four of us from the dining table to this box, I couldn't help admiring the two women who were holding the microphone and howling at the TV.

The object of the ribs may be called a girlfriend with a flexible neck. While singing, her head shakes up and down with the rhythm of the song. If the head is regarded as a sphere, then her neck is a universal joint.The most terrible thing is that Ribs' girlfriend is out of tune. It's not that she's out of tune, but she's out of tune in singing. No matter what scale she sings, she sings flat.This kind of singing is equivalent to turning the sound into a steel file, a steel file that grinds people's nerves, and the file makes people's teeth itch and stomach acid. Wu Mingming is even more exaggerated than her. She swayed while singing and clapped her palms to beat the beat. Her beat is absolutely subjective, and she doesn’t care about the rhythm of the song. A song is a song, and her beat is a beat. Look, it can definitely make people get goosebumps all over their bodies.

I struggled to stand up, trying to escape from this deadly box immediately.They discovered my intention in time, dropped the microphone in their hands, rushed over and held me down with a hundred times of care, Wu Mingming took a cup of cool water, took a sip by himself, gurgled, rinsed his mouth, and then did it like a woman before ironing As I said, I sprayed the water in my mouth onto my face with a "poof".I have to admit that her lung capacity is excellent, and the pressure of the water column rushing towards her face is very high. The water is not sprayed from her mouth, but from the high-pressure hose of the fire brigade.I think, if placed in the old society, the Kuomintang would not need so many high-pressure water hoses to suppress progressive students. It would be enough to find a group of Wu Mingming to distribute a teapot to each of them.

The extremely high-pressure water column made it hard for me to open my eyes. I struggled desperately, twisting my poor head in vain to get rid of Wu Mingming's high-pressure water hose. Of course, I couldn't get rid of it at all.Next, two sips of herbal tea were sprayed on my face, and I felt the herbal tea flow down my neck to my chest, and my hot chest was stimulated by the herbal tea, which really gave off a layer of goose bumps. Wu Mingming sprayed me a few sips of tea on my face. I was so useless and annoyed that people spat out diluted saliva all over my face and head for no reason.However, the concern that followed after Wu Mingming sprayed water made me unable to get angry at her: "Is this going to make me more awake? Do you feel better?"

The unsatisfied brain really sobered up a lot according to Wu Mingming's instructions.I wiped my face with my sleeve and the tea mixed with saliva that flowed through my mouth. I broke free from their control and stumbled towards the outside. Prison officers. I reported to her: "Go to the toilet." She turned her head and gave instructions to Wu Mingming: "Hurry up, follow up, he's already too tall if you don't see him." Wu Mingming immediately followed me up and helped me: "Chi Chi Chi Chi, I didn't expect you guys to turn into tofu. Just ordering wine like this, you all turned into thick mud."

I said: "Yin flourishes and Yang declines, Chinese characteristics, what's so special about it? No, I can't beat you and I can hide from you. You won't go to the bathroom with me, will you?" What Wu Mingming said made me turn pale with shock: "Why not? I'm going to be responsible for you. How many people just hit their heads on the ground and died when they went to the toilet after drinking too much." What she did next surprised me even more. She actually followed me into the men's room, looked inside, coughed hard twice, and kicked the door a few times with her high heels. foot.Her actions immediately gave me a long-lost intimacy.When we went to the countryside, we, like the local farmers, carried a dung basket with us when we went out and in, so that we could collect mammal feces at any time. Of course, the best quality is human feces.The team stipulates that each person should add at least one dung basket of manure to the dung pile in the production team every day.Rural people don’t want to poop outside, and insist on the egotisticalism of not leaking fertilizer and water into outsiders’ fields. They must insist on discharging their urine and urine into their own latrines. The latrine is the nickname for the toilets in the place where we went to the countryside.Therefore, at that time, it was really harder to pick up human shit outside than to pick up wallets while walking on the street.In order to complete the task, we often went to the latrines of farmers to steal manure.There is no distinction between men and women in the latrines of farmers' houses. It is stealing in itself. You have to see that there is no one in the latrine to start. What's more fearful is that if there is someone in the latrine, and it is a woman, if you are caught, you will be charged with stealing. Last charge: Playing hooligans.In order to ensure safety, every time we go to a latrine to steal manure, we have to do what Wu Mingming is doing now, first cough twice, and then tap the entrance of the latrine with a fork for picking up manure a few times. If there is no response in the latrine , we can enter with confidence and shovel other people's shit into our own dung baskets to complete the tasks of the production team.

What Wu Mingming did reminded me of the past, and provoked me to laugh. Wu Mingming pinched me: "What's so ridiculous? Take precautions before they happen to avoid embarrassment." As he spoke, he saw no reaction in the toilet , just kicked the door of the men's toilet tightly, and locked the toilet door handle, and then pushed me into a toilet stall like a box, and settled on the toilet in the toilet. I strongly protested: "I am not a poop. , it’s pee, why did you let me sit on it?” Wu Mingming plausibly said: "Can't you urinate while sitting? Can you stand still after drinking like that? Hurry up, I have to make it easier, and call me when I'm done." After she finished speaking, she got into the next door. Next time, there was the sound of urinating and urinating.

The sound of her defecating next door stimulated my sympathetic nerves, and the urge to urinate that was frightened by her revived again, and I urinate in this long-lost sitting position, which even I feel ashamed of.I pulled up my trousers, but I didn't dare to come out from the stall, for fear that the timing of coming out would not be right and I would see her in full bloom.But she moved swiftly. Before my belt was fastened, she was already urging me outside the box: "Is it over? Do you want me to give you a hand?" I quickly tied up my trouser belt and came out: "Okay, it's over."

At this time, someone outside smashed the door of the toilet and yelled in a fuss: "What's going on? Who locked the toilet?" Wu Mingming pushed me in the head: "You go first, I will follow." I went over and opened the toilet door, and a bald man in a suit and leather shoes, bowed his waist and legs, stared at me angrily, obviously choking because Wu Mingming locked the men's toilet.In a blink of an eye, I saw Wu Mingming coming out from behind me. The bald man was dumbfounded whether he was suffocated by defecation or urination. Come on, like a man?" Then he walked away with me.

It was Wu Mingming who sent me home that day. Although she was very aggressive and bold, after she arrived at my house and put me on the bed, she still carefully searched the two rooms. I knew what she was doing, but I just didn’t tell her what we were doing. I am the only one at home now, and during the seven-day Spring Festival holiday, I have been alone all the time. Needless to say, Ye Shengnan, Eggy will never go home within seven days, and will definitely stay at grandma's house to eat, drink and play as she pleases. "Are you the only one in your house?" Wu Mingming asked me when he saw that our house was deserted, except for the photos on the wall, it was me on the sofa and her wandering on the ground.

I asked her back, "Do you mean the one on the bed or the one on the floor?" Wu Ming took a look at me: "I mean the people who belong to this family, not including me." I said, "If you are not included, then I am alone, and if you are included, then there is only one person." Wu Mingming gave me a squinting look: "I didn't expect you to be quite humorous, and you can turn corners and scold people for fun. Unfortunately, this trick is not very clever. Come on, I will make arrangements for you, and you can sleep well." Saying that, she After the bed was made for me, and I wanted to come over to help me undress, I politely declined: "I'll do it myself, what do you do?" Wu Mingming stared at me and asked me: "What do you mean? I'm going home, do you still want me to sleep with you? It's not the time for you to take advantage of me casually, just sleep with you." I didn't expect her to speak so bluntly and casually, which made me a little overwhelmed. I just wanted to explain that I didn't mean that, I haven't opened up to that level, and I'm not so rascal, but she didn't leave me an explanation. Maybe she doesn't even bother to listen to my explanation.Before the words fell to the ground, she had already drifted away, leaving behind a strange smell of women's perfume and alcohol in the room.Hearing the slam of the door and the sound of her high-heeled shoes leaving on the stairs, I was sincerely relieved, quickly undressed, and got into the bed that Wu Mingming had spread for me.This woman left me with a very weird feeling. When I was with her, I was under psychological pressure and at the same time a little curious, because I was not sure what she would say next or what she would do next. This feeling was a bit It's like playing a video game to pass a level. After passing a level, I always want to know what the next level will be like.