Chapter 5 chapter Five

I became a worker, a fitter, and I had to be an apprentice for three years. I lived with flat shovels, hand hammers, and files all day long. In order to practice the technology of grasping the revolution and promoting production, my hands were scarred.The braised pork said that I was stupid, so it is better to be an operator in a production position. Once I go to work, I will be a second-level worker, and I will earn more than ten yuan a month than an apprentice fitter.But I like to be a fitter. There is no end to the knowledge of a fitter. A good fitter becomes an all-rounder. He can do all kinds of work in car riveting and welding, and he can't do anything without a fitter.Ye Shengnan and I are not in the same unit, and we can only find opportunities to get together secretly after work. I am afraid that others will say that our apprenticeship will not be good, and I am afraid that my parents will force us to sever ties if they find out. It’s like making broken shoes, not even as good as making broken shoes. People who make broken shoes can really be happy. We study revolutionary theory together, and we are shaking with fear when we hold hands with each other.Despite being so cautious, word of our matter reached my mother's ears. During the meal, she gave a serious warning: "Dad, please listen to me clearly, girls from Lao Ye's family are not welcome in our family. Your father can't be in-laws with someone like Ye Ruifang, you two have given up on this matter. You are not too young, so don't delay your own affairs. "

I look at my dad, hoping to get some support from him, my dad is mixing the noodles in the bowl, he put so much oil and pepper, the noodles are turning red.He didn't seem to hear my mother's words, nor did he see my prayer, and he focused on eliminating the noodles in the bowl. My mother said: "Don't look at your father, he agrees with me exactly." I looked at my dad again, my dad had already eaten, he dropped his rice bowl, picked up his buttocks and went back to his room to take a nap, which shows that he really agrees with my mom.In the second year of life, I buried my head in eating, and looked completely out of the way. Only the little girl winked at me and stuck out her tongue. My mother immediately suppressed her: "Eat well, what are you doing winking?"

The little girl muttered, "I think Ye Shengnan is fine." My mother immediately pointed her finger at her: "I didn't say that she is bad, I just said that I don't agree with your brother dating her, eat your food well, and don't interrupt!" The younger sister is my first sympathizer in the family. My father has an ambiguous attitude and abstained from voting in his second career. Only my mother holds clear objections. I have been subdued by my mother since I was a child. I have courage in my heart, but I dare not show it , my mother asked again: "You said, are you and Ye Shengnan constantly broken?"

I pretended to be relaxed and said, "What's going on? There's nothing wrong with us. We're all classmates, and we're together when we go to the countryside, and we're neighbors upstairs and downstairs. If we don't see each other today, we'll see each other tomorrow. See, you can't let them move out. Didn't your mother chatter very enthusiastically when you met Ye Shengnan?" My mother glared at me and drank the noodle soup.The little girl stabbed me and didn't let me talk anymore, so I shut up. At this time, I don’t know what’s going on in the upper echelons, and they started to fight back against the rightist trend of overturning verdicts, and the political situation became tense again. Some people started posting big-character posters to my father, saying that the capitalist roaders were still leaving, and even pointed the finger at my mother, saying My mother is a son of a landlord family who slipped through the net.Ye Shengnan's father also made noise with the rebels, and wanted to be a member of the Standing Committee of the Municipal Committee, but who was trying to sow discord, and fooled him because my father didn't agree with him being a member of the Standing Committee, so he hated my father deeply, and became closer to the rebels up.My mother also hated this neighbor very much, saying that he was a scum of old cadres, worse than the rebels, because he could come up with bad ideas and fan the ghosts behind his back.When we were having dinner at home, my dad said: "Upstairs, Lao Ye is going to make a difference again. I heard that people are organizing people to write letters of loyalty to the Provincial Party Committee and the Provincial Revolutionary Committee. I also heard that they asked to pass on their letters of loyalty. Go to the Central Cultural Revolution. It’s funny, I’m afraid that the Central Cultural Revolution won’t recognize them.”

My mother said: "Don't talk nonsense, what time is it now?" My dad said: "I said it at home, but I didn't say it outside." My mother went back to the original topic: "I'm here to make it clear to you that we don't have much contact with the family named Ye. Maybe they will give us medicine." If something happens to my girl, I'll take your leg off." My dad said: "That's not necessary, you can't unload your mind if you unload your legs." My mother immediately got angry at my father: "What kind of bullshit are you talking about? Whether you kiss or not, you don't know who Ye Ruifang is better than me? Today, if you express your opinion in front of your son, if you say that your son and the old man You have no objection to the Ye family's daughter's partner, so I don't care about it from now on, and I will be a good person."

My dad usually doesn't offend his wife or make her angry. My mother's attitude is so firm, how dare he do the opposite.He scratched his scalp and asked me: "Are you really close to Ye's daughter?" I can't answer, let me admit in front of everyone that I am good with a woman, which is impossible for ordinary people in that era.Besides, I dare not admit it. If I admit it, I will have a direct conflict with my mother. I don’t want my mother to go back to her old job and use her strong index finger and thumb to pinch the thigh of a young man in her twenties. Although my height and weight are far beyond what my mother can handle, and I can throw my mother two miles away with just a wave of my arm, but if my mother really tortures me and commits violence, I have to be honest. Suffering, there is no way, who made her my mother.

"It's nothing, it's my mother's nervousness, she and I are classmates, and we go to the countryside together, so we can't stop talking when we meet, right?" I had no choice but to muddle through. My dad got up and retreated to his bedroom, and said jokingly, "Let me tell you, let's go back and forth between classmates, don't be too nervous." After speaking, he got into the house and never came out again. My mother sneered and said: "You think your mother is a fool. Where did you get the jacket you were wearing? Who spoiled you the last time you had a good work uniform? Today you said it in front of your father. If you don’t have that relationship, I’ll take what you’re telling the truth, and don’t blame me for being rude if you change your words.”

The counterattack against the rightist overturning the verdict has passed, and the central government issued a document in time to prevent expansion, and not to hang the upper and lower couplets. Ye Shengnan's father struggled with the rebels for a while, but nothing was gained. Her father finally failed to join the Standing Committee of the Municipal Committee .My dad didn't do much better, he was still a member of the Standing Committee of his Municipal Party Committee and Deputy Director of the Revolutionary Committee.However, the conflict between our family and theirs became more acute. My mother pretended not to see Ye Shengnan when she saw her, and stopped saying hello to her. My contact with Ye Shengnan went underground. Worrying about it, not knowing how to fight for the rights we should have.But Ye Shengnan was more confident than me. She said: "I'm not like you. Whether my dad objects or not, I am me. I have to decide what matters in my life. Your family looks a bit like an old feudal society to me. Family, have you read Ba Jin’s? I think you are like Juemin in it.”

I read it when I was in the countryside, but I hated her saying that my family was like a feudal family, so I said, "I never read pornographic novels." At that time, works like this were indeed included in the ranks of Feng Zixiu, and they could only be seen secretly.Ye Shengnan said: "Nonsense, why is such a good book yellow? You are not afraid of God punishing you for saying this." I said, "Isn't it yellow? Is it red? Why isn't the red one published?" She was speechless and unable to answer.I turned around and said to her: "I'm not blaming your dad. What kind of rebellion did the director? We all live in the same courtyard, so I'm ashamed to post big-character posters for my dad. If you don't think about it, look down and see you. How do you say hello when you meet?" ?”

Ye Shengnan didn't seem to care that I counted her dad, she asked me: "Have you ever seen my dad meet your dad?" I thought about it, and I really haven't seen the two of them meet.Ye Shengnan said: "I've seen it before. That day your dad went upstairs and my dad went downstairs. Guess what happened to them?" I really can't imagine what will happen to them in this situation, but I don't think it's possible to ignore everyone like a child arguing.Ye Shengnan said while learning, "Your dad is like this, my dad is like this." After learning, he laughed: "It's like a child's vindictiveness, it's so ridiculous."

A chill rose from my spine. According to Ye Shengnan's performance, when my dad went upstairs, he looked at the stairs with his hands behind his back when he climbed up, pretending that there was no one on the other side.Ye Shengnan's father stared straight ahead when her father went downstairs, pretending to be blind.Thinking of two people who have passed the age of knowing destiny, who are leaders in the same unit, and neighbors in the same courtyard, it would be like this when they meet. There is no deep hatred, but they are extremely disgusted with each other.I felt a sense of fear about the matter with Ye Shengnan, and I somewhat understood why my mother was so resolutely opposed to the matter between us.I can't imagine whether we can really get married and live in this kind of parental hostility, and I can't even imagine how the two families will get along in the future even if we do. Seeing that Ye Shengnan was still laughing and laughing in such a severe situation, I couldn't help being a little annoyed: "Do you think this is funny? I don't think it's funny at all, and I can't laugh at all. I really admire you for being able to laugh .” Ye Shengnan stopped laughing, leaned on my shoulder tenderly, and said dreamily: "I think our two families are like Romeo and Juliet, and you and I are like Juliet and Romeo. Our families are enemies." , but we are lovers, tell me how romantic and poetic it is..." I've heard the story of Romeo and Juliet. Isn't it that the two people's family is an enemy for generations, but they have a relationship, and finally, under the firm opposition of their family members, they want to pretend to commit suicide to scare the family members.I'm not Romeo, she's not Juliet, I don't want to die, I haven't lived enough, and I can't let my parents give birth to me for nothing.I said to her: "What Romeo and Juliet, you are really poisoned by reading pornographic books. In the end, if the person dies, why do you have a partner? Isn't that a waste of time? The result I want is a happy reunion, and we succeed in the end." Ye Shengnan cuddled closer to my arms and said: "That's what people imagined. Of course we can't really die, and our era is not that era. In the final analysis, if the family really disagrees, what should we do?" Just do whatever you want, at worst they don’t want us, what else do you think?” I haven't seriously thought about what will happen to my family if I don't try my best to marry Ye Shengnan. When she said this, my head suddenly became clear. Yes, as long as we are good, my mother will kick me out at worst. At home, her father will drive her out of the house at worst. We all have jobs now. After we are kicked out, not only will we not have to worry about food and clothing, but we will also be more free.Thinking of these makes me feel better.Ye Shengnan added: "Even if they are kicked out, it will only be temporary. When we have a child, I don't believe they can deny their own grandson." "Then let's hurry up and have a baby." I teased and hugged her tightly, thrilled by her elasticity and softness. "Whoever has a child with you is really not ashamed to talk." Like all girls, she can say what she can say but does not allow the man to say it. It is normal to say what she says, and she becomes shy when the man repeats it. "How can I have a baby? Do you know?" I continued to tease her, her face was as red as a ripe apple, her lips were like blooming flowers, coyly, I pressed my lips to hers , she accepted me, we sucked each other clumsily, my hand naturally explored the part I was most concerned about, the raised peaks made my blood boil and my heart beat like thunder, I hugged her harder, and pressed her harder Sucking her lips, her tongue, and her saliva into my mouth, she sucked me as hard as I could... I was so impulsive that I was about to burst.We hid in the red willow bushes on the bank of the Yellow River, and the rushing water flowed tirelessly. There were no parks in our small city at that time, and the bank of the Yellow River became a place for couples to have a tryst, and it was also a place for adults and children to have tea after dinner. A paradise for wandering. There were footsteps and voices not far away, and we hurriedly separated, turning our faces to the river, so that people passing by us would not be able to see our faces, and would not recognize us without paying attention.This was the first time we kissed, my heart was beating violently, my temples seemed to be beating hard with small drumsticks, my mind was in a trance and I could barely figure out where I was.After calming down for a while, I tasted the salty taste on my lips, wiped it with my hand, and there was bright red blood on my hand. "You bit my mouth out," I told her softly. She stretched out the handkerchief in front of my eyes: "You bit me." Sure enough, there was also bright red blood on her handkerchief, obviously wiped from her own lips.We both laughed quietly at the same time. A woman led her child and passed behind us, and the footsteps gradually moved away. We hugged each other immediately, and our lips overlapped again. We were not as crazy as last time, and we became a little calmer. We rubbed each other's cheeks. Lips, cheeks, chin... She is more tolerant to me, my hands match my mouth and caress her indulgently, she is half lying in my arms, opening herself to me, her eyes looking at the distant night sky , in her eyes, I saw a crescent moon, a sky full of stars, and a blue-black night sky... The wind picked up, and the red willows behind me sang, and wild cats came from afar The neighing of estrus, long and sad, echoed in the early summer night like a baby crying... It was late at night when I got home, and my mother hadn't slept yet, which surprised me a little.She was sitting in the aisle just after entering the door, and she was waiting for me specially. Sure enough, my mother's face was very ugly. "Why did you come back? Are you still going to work tomorrow?" My mother said to me half questioning and half reprimanding. I asked back, "Has my dad come back?" I know my dad definitely hasn't come back, because if he came back, he would definitely be able to hear him snoring right now, even if he didn't sleep, he would definitely stay in the hallway with my mom to chat with.Since I couldn't hear him snoring or see him chatting here, I concluded that he must not have come back either. "Your dad came back late to work, how about you? Did you go to a meeting or work overtime?" "I went to play with my classmates." "Go to bed! Starting tomorrow night, if you don't come back after nine o'clock, don't come back." I hastily obediently got into my room, Er Chuxi pretended to be asleep, but I knew he was definitely not asleep, and was listening to us with his ears up.Sure enough, when Er Chuxi saw me coming in, he opened his eyes and asked me in a low voice, "Are you with Ye Shengnan again?" I don't hide my affairs from him, but sometimes I bother him to take the initiative to inquire, especially when I got home tonight, my mother was nagging me a lot, and she was very angry, so she said: "Sleep your sleep, don't worry about it What are you doing?" He groaned twice, fell asleep again without saying anything.But I knew he was still not asleep, and sure enough, he suddenly lifted the quilt and sat up, dangling on the edge of the bed with his two long black-haired legs. "Brother, what are you going to do with Ye Shengnan?" I dealt with him distractedly: "What if I'm not prepared." "Brother, let me discuss something with you." "What's the matter?" "Give me a sure letter when you will have a result with her." "What does this have to do with you?" "Why doesn't it matter? I have to tell Xiao Linzi, right? You can't keep dragging us, we are all in our twenties." I still didn't understand what he meant, but he reminded me that I was two years older than him, he was already twenty-four, and I was twenty-six, and Ye Shengnan was two years younger than me, also twenty-four up. "What do you mean by that?" "Xiao Linzi and his family are urging me to do something." Xiao Linzi is his fiancée, a pretty, quiet, well-educated girl, my mom and dad like her very much.The two of them hung together when they were in the Mao Zedong Thought Propaganda Team. After going to the mountains and going to the countryside, they are not too young. According to the routine, they should indeed get married and start a family.But what I can't figure out is whether they get married or not has anything to do with me. "Is the matter between me and Ye Shengnan bothering you?" "That's not true, but, you are a brother, we will get married before you get married, and make others laugh." "What's so ridiculous? If I don't get married for the rest of my life, you will stay with me as a bachelor for the rest of my life?" "That's not..." "Then what are you talking about?" "Yes... yes... forget it, I won't say anything." He dropped this sentence and fell asleep again.This time he wanted to sleep and I wouldn't let him sleep. I went over and lifted his quilt: "Don't rush to sleep, what's going on, you speak out, don't reveal half of it." He sighed helplessly and sat up: "It's like this, whoever gets married first can live at home, and the one who gets married later will get a place in the unit. What if there is no place in the unit? So if you can't get it right for a while , Xiao Linzi and I are working in this room." It turned out that this kid wanted to occupy this room. He was right. In his case, the unit would not give the house to the married couple, because my family has a house, and their unit does not have a house.If I get married normally, I will definitely stay at home and occupy this house, because I am a big egg, according to the basic rule of first come, first served, he can only find another house outside, or find a single dormitory to accommodate his marriage with Xiao Linzi bed, or vacate this room and give it to him when I get another house.However, in my current situation, it is impossible to get married normally. It can even be said that whether I can get married or who I will marry is unknown.Thinking of these my heart is even more irritable.Er Chuxi looked at me pitifully, waiting for my reply. I said, "You shouldn't be called a dick." "What's wrong?" He blinked, not knowing what I meant. "You should be called an asshole." "Why are you swearing? I'm not going to discuss it with you. If you don't want to, I'll wait. As long as you don't agree, I will definitely not get married first." "Your name is Erdan. If you can't figure out the problem, don't you mean you are an asshole? This is not a curse. I said you are an asshole because you discussed with me. What is there to discuss about this kind of thing? If you really want to discuss my mother's birth with you When I was with you, you should discuss with me, who should be the big ass and who should be the bastard. I said you are a fool, you are a fool. The matter between me and Ye Shengnan is a big problem. Not only our mother and father disagree, but his father also disagrees. I don’t agree, it’s hard to say when it will be delayed. You will do it first when you are mature. What is there to discuss about this kind of thing? I can say that I won’t let you get married if you are not married. If you get married, I can live in this house with you Is it right? I’m sure I’ll give it up to you. Just go and tell Xiao Linzi that it can be done anytime, and I’ll call a few people to paint your houses.” Er Chuxi looked at me stupidly, and said for a while, "You really don't care that I get ahead of you?" I said, "Why do you care? Do you still care that I was born before you, and my name is Big Dan and you can only call me a dick? It's useless." "Come on, brother, smoke a cigarette, let's have a good chat." Excited and excited, Er Chuxi took out a box of crumpled Zhonghua cigarettes from under the pillow, and handed me one graciously. I reached out and confiscated all his cigarettes: "It's time to sleep, stop smoking, let me smoke slowly tomorrow." He blinked again, feeling sorry for the loss of this box of Chunghwa cigarettes, but it was hard to ask for it back.I guess he will have another chance to steal cigarettes from my dad's drawer tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure he stole this pack of cigarettes from my dad too. I forced myself to close my eyes, forced myself to fall asleep early, because I have to go to work early tomorrow morning, but sleepiness is like a wanted criminal, the more I want to find him, the more I can't find him.I made Ye Shengnan too excited tonight, thinking carefully about the details of being with her, I was so emotional that I couldn't sleep.The news that he was about to get married by Er Chuxi also made me feel complicated.I envy this guy, this guy can do everything well, he was in the propaganda team during the "Cultural Revolution", which made my dad have more fun after scolding him in the provincial capital, and he can also eat and drink.When I went to the countryside, I worked hard at the educated youth spot to earn work points, but he was first drawn to the commune propaganda team, and later drawn to the county troupe to continue singing and dancing to make ends meet.After returning to the city to start working, he sneaked into the party within a few days, and then sat in the office as a worker. Finding a partner is also a joy at home and abroad. Unlike me, I can’t do anything. Finding a partner is also a long march with the Red Army. Similarly, traveling through mountains and rivers, thousands of rivers and mountains, and the reactionary forces represented by my mother are chasing and intercepting, I really don't know when I will win the final victory.