Chapter 17 Chapter Sixteen

In the middle of the night, Xiao Xiao's whole body was sore, as if all the joints in his body were struggling to spread out, his mouth was so dry, his throat seemed to be on fire, he took his temperature and it was 39 degrees. The medicine box is in the study, she was too lazy to get it, she thought wantonly, burn it, burn it to death, if he burns to death like this, will he be distressed, will he regret that he didn't stay last night How about with her? Thinking about it this way, she felt that it was good to have a fever. If the fever could pull him back, she would just keep burning it like this, and use this crazy body temperature to ignite the fire of love he was trying to extinguish.

After drinking some water, she sent a text message to Gu Haiyang: I have a fever. You don't need to answer the phone, but you always have to read the text message. If you read it, can he not be in a hurry?Thinking of this, the corner of his mouth curled into a smile, his head gradually lost his mind, and he fell asleep drowsily. Hearing the phone ringing in a daze, she opened her eyes suddenly, grabbed the phone, choked up and said Haiyang... It wasn't him who called, but Teacher Li. She hurriedly said, "Xiao Xiao, why didn't you come to work? Your class is about to start."

Xiao Xiao's heart sank heavily, and he said dying, "Mr. Li, please tell me, the director, let another teacher give me a lesson. I have a fever." Teacher Li said a few words of concern about going to the hospital soon, and hurriedly dialed the phone to help her arrange a substitute class. Xiao Xiao looked at the window, the sun was hanging in the sky brightly, piercing through the light-colored linen curtains, and crawled ambiguously on the edge of the bed. She struggled to get out of bed and washed her face. The woman in the mirror was full of worries and looked haggard. She changed her clothes, went downstairs, and called a taxi. The driver asked: Where are you going?

She talked about the office building of Gu Haiyang Company, and the driver reached back and opened the car door for her. When she lowered her head to get in the car, she swayed a bit, her legs went limp, and she almost sat on the road, so she changed her words and said: Go to the downtown hospital. Register and go to the outpatient clinic. No matter how painful or anxious the patient is, the doctor will never be in a hurry. They are used to life, old age, sickness and death. Minor ailments like a cold are not worth their fuss. Xiao Xiao was sitting in the waiting room waiting for the nurse to call her number. The young woman sitting next to her was being fed and gnawed a mango by her boyfriend. The yellow mango flesh stuck around her mouth, and her boyfriend wiped the corner of her mouth with tissue paper from time to time. , a scene of happiness.

Such a happy and sweet eating appearance makes people envious but never greedy. The rich mango aroma wafts faintly, invading Xiao Xiao's sense of taste. Only then did she remember that she hadn't eaten seriously for several days. She had no appetite at all, and even the strong aroma of mango stimulated her desire to vomit. Those smells, like the porridge that morning, violently stirred her empty stomach, and she retched a few times. The girl's boyfriend, dissatisfied glanced at her, Xiao Xiao got up quickly and wisely, changed to a seat farther away, closed his eyes, and silently prayed in his heart that the nurse would call his number quickly.

The number of people in the waiting room decreased and increased. Xiao Xiao felt that her neck was so weak that she could hardly support her head. She leaned back and stared numbly at the staircase facing outside the door. She suddenly saw the word Thoracic Surgery on the medical sign, just like a person stuck in a swamp suddenly saw someone walking in this direction from a distance, she felt relieved instantly, and she thought of Chen Lu. After calling Chen Lu, he sat there obediently, eagerly filtering everyone who came down from upstairs. Chen Lu quickly ran over, stood in front of her, looked carefully, and reached out to touch her forehead: Why did you come to see it after it was burnt like this?His complexion is so bad that he almost lost weight.

Chen Lu handed her a bottle of water: drink more water, your lips will become skinny. Xiao Xiao felt that he didn't even have the strength to thank him, so he took it, drank a few sips and said, lend me your shoulder. Chen Lu sat down, let her lean on his shoulder, and asked with a side face: Where's Gu Haiyang? Xiao Xiao shook his head and said: Don't ask. Chen Lu gave her a pityful look, and said: Do you want to get a wet towel to cool down physically? Xiao Xiao said no, and said that he had a fever only after being exposed to the rain. He also said that the fever this time was very strange, and he actually felt a strong sense of nausea.

Chen Lu looked at her face and said yes?Fever may affect taste buds and appetite, how can it be nauseating?Could it be a fever caused by other symptoms? Xiao Xiao said who knows. Just as he was talking, the nurse called Xiao Xiao's number. Chen Lu accompanied Xiao Xiao in. After all, he was a colleague. The doctor examined Xiao Xiao carefully, and his face was gentler than that of other patients. I did a skin test for Xiao Xiao. While waiting for the results of the skin test, Chen Lu said: I am worried about other illnesses. A simple fever should not cause a strong sense of vomiting. Just now she said that she retched when she smelled mangoes. After reading it a few times, I know that she used to be a mango worm.

Did the doctor say yes?Then he asked Xiao Xiao when he felt sick. Xiao Xiao thought of the bowl of porridge that made her sad, and said that she felt sick before she had a fever. The doctor asked cautiously: Are you pregnant? Xiao Xiao froze for a moment, then asked: What? Maybe you are pregnant, Dr. Chen, otherwise, if you are pregnant, you will definitely not be able to take the IV drip. You can take your friend to the gynecology department first, and I will decide what medicine to prescribe. Chen Lu said thank you, pulled Xiao Xiao up and went to the gynecology department. You have to go down two floors, because the gynecology department is on the second floor. Xiao Xiao was stunned when she went down to the third floor. She saw Gu Haiyang. If he was not wearing the light blue plaid shirt she bought for him, she would really It was almost unrecognizable that the unkempt, thin and emaciated man in front of him was Gu Haiyang. He was walking up and down the corridor with his chin in one hand and his head buried.

When he walked in front of him, Xiao Xiao called out in a low voice: Haiyang, why are you here? Gu Haiyang stopped walking suddenly, and it took him a long time to slowly raise his head. He looked at Xiao Xiao, his eyes fell on the hands of Xiao Xiao and Chen Lula together, his brows slowly frowned, and he finally raised his head a little bit. face, looking at Xiao Xiao coldly, the colder and colder eyes seemed to have a sharp knife that could pierce her through the moment it reached Xiao Xiao's body. Ocean, why are you here?Xiao Xiao pulled out his hand, wanting to stroke his disheveled hair.

Gu Haiyang sensitively turned his head to one side and moved away, as if her hand was stained with a deadly virus. He tilted his head, looked at her and Chen Lu with slanted eyes, pressed his lips tightly together, No words. Chen Lu was a little angry: why are you like this, Xiao Xiao has a fever of 40 degrees, why don't you accompany her? Gu Haiyang twitched the corner of his mouth coldly, turned around and walked in, Xiao Xiao was about to chase, but was grabbed by Chen Lu: "Leave him alone, his wife has such a severe fever, yet he is still in the mood to show his temper." With that said, he dragged Xiao Xiao to the gynecology department. Chen Lu handed Xiao Xiao to a doctor in the gynecology department, and ran down to register. The doctor asked Xiao Xiao when was his last menstruation. Xiao Xiao thought about it for about two months. The doctor blamed him and said that he hadn’t menstruated for two months and didn’t know to go to the hospital for an examination. He might be pregnant. Xiao Xiao then said in a low voice: My period has always been irregular, and I often come every two or three months. I didn't take it to heart. The doctor wrote a paragraph in the medical record, and asked the nurse to take Xiao Xiao for a laboratory test and an ultrasound examination. When Chen Lu came back, the test results had just been received. The doctor took them over to look at them, and handed them to Chen Lu, saying: Your friend is indeed pregnant, and it's been two months. Holding the test sheet, Xiao Xiao burst into tears. She suddenly understood why she was always anxious and abnormal recently, and also understood that it was not the bowl of porridge that caused the trouble, but the child in her stomach. Seeing Xiao Xiao crying so violently, the doctor asked gently: Do you not want this child? Xiao Xiao choked up so much that her throat hurt so much that she couldn't say a word, but shook her head desperately. Seeing this, Chen Lu quickly pulled her out and asked: What's the matter?Conflicted with Gu Haiyang? Xiao Xiao just cried. Chen Lu rubbed his hands and turned around, helpless. The speaker in the corridor was broadcasting that he should go back to the clinic quickly. Medical alcohol, stuffed it to her and said: You can't take medicine casually when you are pregnant. You go home first, rub your body with alcohol, physically cool down, buy a watermelon on the way home, and eat some watermelon after wiping the alcohol, and then go to sleep. These are the only ways I can think of. I still have an operation to do. I will call you or visit you as soon as I am done. As he spoke, he dragged Xiao Xiao out, hailed a taxi and stuffed Xiao Xiao in, stood on the steps and waved his hands before going back. Along the way, Xiao Xiao's hand lightly stroked her lower abdomen, shedding tears full of grievances, which wife didn't get double care after pregnancy, but she earned the blame. After she vomited, why didn't she think that she was pregnant but just thought it was because her food was not clean? The more she looked, the more aggrieved she was, crying violently and miserably, the taxi driver was so frightened that he didn't dare to vent his breath, he drove the car into the Jasmine Garden and fled in the desert. Xiao Xiao went upstairs, took out half a watermelon from the refrigerator, dug and ate it on the tea table, and rubbed some alcohol on her body. The cool feeling ran on her skin, and she felt much more comfortable. She lay on the bed and looked at the watermelon. Still beautiful and flat belly, thinking, if Gu Haiyang and his mother knew that she vomited because she was pregnant, how guilty they would be and how happy they would be because of it. She decided to take a nap first to recover, and then call them with the good news in good spirits. Perhaps it was because of the hidden joy in her heart that she felt a lot more relaxed. The fever seemed to subside a little, and she soon fell asleep. Feeling an inexplicable sense of relaxation, like a child who accidentally broke her mother’s favorite vase when she opened the door. Just when she was feeling guilty, she found that the window was open, and the wind passing by lifted the curtains, and it was turbulent. One corner, just swept back and forth where the vase was placed, and the child finally understood that it was the wind, not her, that broke the vase. She slept until almost noon before waking up. Her head was much refreshed. She drank a glass of plain water and walked around the room exaggeratedly with her unmarked belly. , like a very autumn rice field. When the phone rang, she deliberately assumed a pregnant woman sitting posture, with her legs spread apart, her buttocks tilted back, she sat still, and picked up the phone. It was Chen Lu, and he carefully asked: Are you feeling better? Xiao Xiao put his feet on the coffee table and took them off again: He said that I slept and felt much better. Chen Luen let out a sigh, and said again: Really?can you go downstairs now Yes, but it’s just a small fever, and it’s okay to climb a mountain.Xiao Xiao suddenly wanted to order something again, and felt that her stomach was empty. In fact, it wasn't that her stomach was empty, but she remembered that she hadn't eaten much in the past few days. She didn't need to eat, but how could the child in her stomach not absorb nutrients?He put the microphone between his chin and shoulder, and dragged over the fruit plate at the other end of the coffee table, which contained fresh red dates, the red and white of the flowers, so sweet that his mouth got tired of it.She picked one up and put it in her mouth. Then go downstairs and take a taxi to the hospital. I'll wait for you downstairs.Chen Lu said: Hurry up! Don't be so serious, okay?As Xiao Xiao said, he dialed the phone. On the way to the hospital, he thought about Chen Lu's tone. It seemed that there was something important and it was inconvenient to say it on the phone. What could it be? He went to look for Gu Haiyang, and now his head is relaxed and his veins are clear, so he suddenly trembled, how could Gu Haiyang haggard like that, in the hospital? My heart hung up little by little. Soon, when they arrived at the Central Hospital, they saw Chen Lu anxiously walking up and down from afar. Seeing her coming, he rushed over and opened the car door, dragged her down, and walked upstairs without saying anything. Xiao Xiao struggled a bit, and asked: You always tell me what's going on? Gu Haiyang's mother is dying? Xiao Xiao felt a buzzing in his head, shook his head, and grabbed Chen Lu's hand: Who told you?Why? I also just found out that after the operation, I wanted to go downstairs and ask my brain surgery colleague Gu Haiyang if he was his patient, because I saw that his complexion was not good, and he was walking around here, so I I thought he was seeing a doctor in brain surgery. When I went down, it happened that Gu Haiyang had just come out of the doctor's office, his eyes were red. I asked the doctor and found out that his mother was dying. What's wrong with my mother-in-law? It wasn't a disease, it was a car accident. She was sent here three mornings ago. It seemed that she was accidentally hit by a car while crossing the road, and her brain was seriously injured. She was rescued for a few days, but it still didn't work. It was so powerful that the skull was broken... Didn't Gu Haiyang tell you? I see.Xiao Xiao said weakly: It was me who killed her. Xiao Xiao climbed upstairs slowly while holding on to the railing, and Chen Lu chased after her to help her: What sinner are you in such a hurry, it was a car accident, not you. It was the morning when she had a car accident, I made her angry, she said she wanted to go back to her hometown, if it wasn't for me, she wouldn't cry and want to go back to her hometown, if she didn't go back to her hometown, she wouldn't die, you know, I am murderer…… Xiao Xiao broke away from Chen Lu's hand and ran into the ward. There were many people in the ward, but it was very quiet. Two male nurses were carrying a man covered with a white sheet to the platform cart. Two nurses had just vacated it. Changing bed sheets and pillowcases in the hospital bed, the midday sun quietly parked on the ground, Gu Haiyang silently pushed the two nurses away, and pushed the car out by himself, seeming to turn a blind eye to the oncoming Xiao Xiao, or treat him as a stranger, He lightly adjusted the direction of the platform car, and walked past Xiao Xiao. There was no emotional change on his dull face. Xiao Xiao chased after him, choked up and said: Haiyang, I'm sorry... She stretched out her hand to help Gu Haiyang push the cart, Gu Haiyang pushed her hand away without saying a word, and she firmly held the handle of the platform cart, refusing to let go, Gu Haiyang looked up at her, and stopped , peeled off her fingers one by one from the handle, pushed them away, like pushing away a disgusting dirty rag, then, without looking back, pushed the car into the elevator, Xiao Xiao watched slowly With the closed elevator door, big tears fell down, she called mother sadly, her body was so weak that she couldn't stand up, Chen Lu helped her to sit on the bench in the corridor, but she couldn't find anything Words of consolation. Xiao Xiao struggled to stand up: I'm going to find him. Chen Lu said: Can you do it? Xiao Xiao said without looking back: Don't follow me, I beg you, okay? Chen Lu nodded and followed a few more steps. Xiao Xiao turned around and looked at him sadly: I beg you... Chen Lu had no choice but to give up. Xiao Xiao went to the morgue, but Gu Haiyang was nowhere to be seen. He didn't answer his phone calls, and he didn't reply to his text messages. When she found Gu Haiyang again, it was already four days later. In the mountain village in Southwest Shandong, she saw Gu Haiyang who was wearing black clothes holding an urn. Xiao Xiao walked in slowly, without even looking at her, squeezed into the main room from her side, put away her mother's urn, knelt down and lit the three sticks of incense, Xiao Xiao also lit the three sticks of incense, before it was too late Inserting it into the incense burner, Gu Haiyang snatched it with his hands, threw it on the ground, grabbed his foot, and crushed it severely. Xiao Xiao said the ocean... Gu Haiyang glanced at her wearily, turned around and left, people began to enter the courtyard in twos and threes, carrying burnt paper and other sacrificial items, and after a few country women entered the door and put down the sacrificial items, they cried earth-shatteringly, and their hands were in vain. Wipe old and dry eyes, these are just the customs and etiquette of the country, mourning is marked by crying, as for tears, whether there is or not is of no importance. Every time a person came in, Gu Haiyang had to kneel and kowtow to accompany them. A few times, Xiao Xiao saw him staggering and almost fainted, so he reached out to help him but was pushed away by him forcefully. He rolled his eyes. Xiao Xiao gave up, and during the whole funeral process, Xiao Xiao didn't cry, but just watched the people coming in and out performing tears-free sadness to their heart's content. She only had tears but no sound, her whole heart had been pierced into thousands of holes by Gu Haiyang's sarcasm. Returning to Qingdao after the funeral, Xiao Xiao followed Gu Haiyang and boarded the same long-distance bus. Gu Haiyang first rested on the back of the front seat for a while, then stood up abruptly, got out of the car, and turned around. Xiao Xiao wanted to follow him down the circle, and got on another bus to Qingdao, but seeing him staring at the front without squinting, he gave up, feeling bitter in his heart, presumably, in his heart, now , I was the murderer who indirectly killed my mother, and I won't get his forgiveness easily. Pregnancy reaction plus motion sickness, Xiao Xiao almost collapsed after returning to Qingdao. After entering the house, he drank a little water and lay down on the bed. It took about half an hour before Gu Haiyang came back. Xiao Xiao heard him walking around in the living room. After a few laps, as if he was about to make a decision, he wandered to the door of the bedroom and stopped again. Xiao Xiao called him softly: Haiyang... There was no response, and after a while, she heard the door of her mother's bedroom slam shut with a bang. The sky turned dark into death-like silence, Xiao Xiao went to the kitchen to get something to eat, and knocked on the door: Haiyang, come out and eat something, or your body won't be able to take it anymore.In the past few days, Xiao Xiao saw that Gu Haiyang hardly ate much, his tall body became thinner and thinner, like a thin bamboo in the autumn wind, fragile and thin. No one answered inside, so Xiao Xiao knocked on the door a few more times. She begged Gu Haiyang to come out to eat like a servant begging her master. She felt that no matter how much she abused herself, it was not too much, because of her, he lost his beloved mother. How could she not beg for his forgiveness in a low voice and in a low voice, even though none of this was her original intention, but the consequences happened irreversibly, that is, her heart was poured out with tens of thousands of roots. Even if the steel needle is inserted all over, there will be no such pain. Haiyang, I want to tell you something... Xiao Xiao thought, if he knew that he was pregnant, he would understand that the vomiting that morning was really not out of her intention to hurt her mother's self-esteem, would it be? Forgive her? Don't talk, don't explain, I just know that the only consequence is my mother's death.Gu Haiyang said coldly: From now on, please don't let me see you, okay? Xiao Xiao's raised hand fell down slumped. She sat silently at the dining table, drank a bowl of soup, and went back to the bedroom. During the period, she answered a call from her mother. Ever since she found out that Gu Haiyang's mother had an accident, her mother wished she could break Xiao Xiao's phone and insisted on going to Southwest Lu Xiao Xiao didn't want her mother to see that there were many conflicts between him and Gu Haiyang, and every time he answered the phone, he tried his best to make up lies to stop her. This time, my mother asked Gu Haiyang how he was feeling?I want to have a word with him. Xiao Xiao prevaricated and said: Forget it, he is very depressed and just fell asleep. Mom had no choice but to ring the phone. In the morning, when Xiao Xiao got up, Gu Haiyang had already left. There were two empty egg skins in the garbage bag. It seemed that he had fried the eggs himself. After eating, he went to work. Even the dishes were cleaned, as if With this attitude, she was sure that her future life would have nothing to do with her. From that day on, Gu Haiyang went out early and returned late, and when he came back, he plunged into his mother's room and never came out again. The living room was just a passing way, as if he didn't even use the bathroom very much in order to avoid showing up. Many midnights, Xiao Xiao stood outside his door, standing quietly, just standing quietly. Occasionally, he would hear him turning over on the bed or sighing, and sometimes, he would hear him sitting up suddenly. Xiao Xiao turned around and didn't hide it. He knew that he had stood in front of his door before, and his slippers were scraping and grinding the floor. In the quiet midnight, this The voice seemed depressed and long, like some panting, piercing the night of the city, and she was the only one listening to the voice that someone cared about. From the moment of mother's death, their love went to heaven with mother's last gasp. She didn't know how to bring love back to life, so she could only listen to him in the middle of the night and hear him finish his work in the kitchen in the early morning. , and left calmly, as if there had never been a living person like her in this family. They have become strangers living together under the same roof, no, not even strangers, even strangers will look at each other and smile because of loneliness when they meet for a moment. Sometimes, when Gu Haiyang was not around, she would go to her mother's bedroom and look at the bed he slept in with tenderness. There was a small photo inlaid in a black frame and placed beside his pillow or on the corner of the bed. There were still the shirts and socks he had changed, and it was heartbroken and messy, like a bed for a child who lost his mother's care. Xiao Xiao picked them up one by one, washed them, dried them, folded them neatly, and put them on his bed. But as long as they were clothes she washed, he never wore them again. They were all neatly placed on the floor. , like a child who has been completely neglected, icy on the floor. She hugged them, shed tears, and then put them on his bed. All the time, she liked to use her quiet stubbornness to slowly approach the heart she wanted to warm. The next day, I went to look again, and the stack of clothes was placed on the floor again. It looked much messier than last time. It could be seen that they were thrown from the bed. She still tidied up silently and placed it on the bed. On the next day, she couldn't open that door. In the middle of the night, when she heard Gu Haiyang coming back, she walked over and knocked on the door, but no one answered inside.She held the door and said: Haiyang, what do you want from me? She heard a cold laugh from inside, nothing else. She said seriously, I didn't mean to, and I didn't expect this to happen. She still sneered when she answered. She turned around, and with a sneer, suddenly, it jumped up from the bottom of her heart and burst open between her teeth. She smiled coldly and burst into tears. She would rather be beaten and scolded by Gu Haiyang, than to be tortured silently like this, which will eventually destroy the last trace of tenderness in her heart to the point of being completely destroyed. During the weekend, my mother came several times. She looked around the house and asked: Why didn't I encounter the ocean every time I came. Xiao Xiao explained with a smile: His company is currently working on a major investment project, and recently he has been spending all day in the office. Mom said oh, touched her face and said; you have lost weight. Are you thin?It seems that all mothers will feel that their children have lost weight after not seeing their children for a few days. It seems that if they leave their mothers, they will lose the guarantee of a happy life.Xiao Xiao was joking. In fact, she knew that she lost weight, and she was always vomiting, even when she drank saliva, but she still wanted to eat after vomiting, even after eating, colleagues said she This kind of eating and vomiting is simply self-abuse, but, she knows, she must eat, she is obliged to ensure that the child in her stomach gets good nutrition, she must guarantee. Mom said yes?Is it really my psychology? When leaving, my mother told me: When Haiyang is done, take him home for dinner. Xiao Xiao said she got it, and her heart was as sad as the depths of the ocean. She didn't know whether it was possible for her marriage with Gu Haiyang to come up and see a glimmer of light. During this period, Meixi often came, she put her face on her stomach and said jealously: Do you know?For you, Chen Lu took the initiative to call me for the first time and asked me to come and accompany you often. He knew that there was tension between you and Gu Haiyang recently. Xiao Xiao smiled wryly. Meixi sat up straight, and said solemnly: I warn you, don't play any divorce tricks, otherwise, Chen Lu's heart will be ready to move again, and finally hope that he treats me better, you don't want a third party to intervene . Xiao Xiao knew that she was half-joking and half-seriously amusing herself, but she never minded. Meixi asked inexplicably: Why did you block the pregnancy news from Gu Haiyang?Don't you want to get back together? He won't listen, so I won't talk about it. One day he will see it, so let's let nature take its course. Meixi ran to Gu Haiyang's door and kicked the door fiercely: You need warmth and care most now. Could it be that his mother died, and life and love died along with his mother. You are right, our love has been suffocated, death is a matter of time, you will not understand his feelings for his mother. Meixi looked at her blankly: Please set an example of happiness for those of us who are desperate for love, let us feel that there is legendary happiness on the other side of the street, and let us have a head start, you know, you guys The love of love is a model that once convinced me that love is stronger than gold. Your template is moldy, and if you touch it lightly, it will be shattered. Meixi sat down: Don't you think our conversation is very poetic and philosophical.He put his ear on her belly and said: I hope our baby will not hear, what a gloomy life. Seeing that Xiao Xiao didn't speak, Meixi got up in a jerk: I want to talk to Gu Haiyang tonight, I can't just watch the template of happy love get moldy. If you talk to Gu Haiyang, our friendship will end here.Xiao Xiao said calmly. Why? I don't want the child in my belly to be the bait to catch him back. I don't want to use an unborn child. It's too unfair to him. If he ever thought about turning back, I've been waiting here. If in his heart, Love is really dead. Even though the child is born now, the tragedy is still there. I didn't even tell my mother. I don't want everyone to worry about me. I will handle it all by myself. You know, the happiest thing for a wife It is to tell her husband shyly that she has his child, and I don't want to transfer the chance of happiness that can only be had once in a lifetime to you. I want to see the expression on his face shaken by this huge happiness.Xiao Xiao looked at Meixi with a questioning gaze: What do you think? Why do I feel that your words are very similar to the heavy, boring and long speeches in Shakespeare's plays?up to you. Soon, Xiao Xiao discovered that Gu Haiyang had deprived her of the opportunity to announce the happy news to him. One day, when she came back from get off work, she saw the door of the bedroom where Gu Haiyang slept was open, and there were signs of being passive in the closet. She opened the closet. Gu Haiyang's clothes were all gone, and he left her life with his traces without even saying goodbye or saying a reason. She sat in the closet, searched and searched, and finally found a tie. It was curled up in the corner of the closet, like a wisp of dried seaweed, exuding Gu Haiyang's unique faint breath, she put it under her nose, gently, and then took a deep sniff, tears rolled down her cheeks, making her wet closet clothes. She looked at the calendar. Two months after her mother passed away, Gu Haiyang gave up on her love like a project that was destined to be impossible to complete. Her stomach is already slightly bulging, like a slightly fat married woman. The Children's Palace has adjusted her courses. During her pregnancy, she will not be a dance teacher for the time being. She just reads the newspaper and does some minor chores every day. , colleagues would ask her, why didn't Gu Haiyang come to pick her up, and now he should behave better. Xiao Xiao said slowly: I won't let him pick it up. Ever since he became the manager of the so-called investment department, he has been so busy that he never sees the end of the year.She has learned to lie calmly about her broken marriage. Yes, she has never been a good talker. She always thinks that when more and more people know that you have a tearful heart, it will attract you. Aroused the voyeuristic desire of others, the life of modern people is too individual and closed, so the so-called private articles in magazines and newspapers have the opportunity to occupy a large number of pages, and everyone needs to compare the pain of others to tell themselves that they are happy. She doesn't want to be a reference point for other people's happiness, nor does she want to gain unnecessary cheap sympathy. They will severely tear her fragile self-esteem and block her courage to find happiness. If it is raining, she will tell them that Gu Haiyang will come to pick her up later when she finishes her work. Then, she reads and reads a newspaper, even the advertisements in the middle, and waits until everyone is gone. Only then did she pick up her bag, go out, stop a car, and go home with rainwater or overflowing tears on her face. She went to the hospital alone for a routine checkup, and seeing other women weak under her husband's pampering, her heart was sore, but she seldom shed tears. Tears mean nothing but weakness. When love is gone, she has no weak capital. Meixi persuaded her more than once: Just because of Gu Haiyang's kindness to you, you are still working hard alone to give birth to him?Make him so beautiful, knock him out! Xiao Xiao said: You are wrong, even if he has another new love now, I still want to give birth to this child, because of the arrival of this child, he lost his mother, if it is selfish for me to insist on giving birth to this child, then let me Selfish once, let me give birth to a healthy child to redeem the guilt in my heart. The child is the angel who takes me out of the swamp of redemption. How can the angel be killed halfway?