Chapter 29 desire screen

This year, with complicated feelings, I made a screen to block and witness a staged and curtain call of a desire that cannot be seen with others. Because there is no love, the love that has nothing to say remains silent. When Su Zi called to let me go, I was wandering around the city, looking for a house to live in. Su Zi sat cross-legged on the sofa, her exquisite and soft body curled up, her curvaceous chin reached her knees, her red lips were full of elasticity, like the moment a cherry blossom was picked off a branch, she was so sexy. Su Zi is used to watching Jing Yin and others on the TV. Su Zi in silence is alluring, like a beautiful snake in the dark of night, quietly looking back and staring. No man can resist it. From a girl with clean eyes, Su Zi is chased into a beautiful young woman. .

Su Zi stared at me gulping water and smiled: "Don't be like an angry little horse looking for a house all over the city, how about my attic?" After finishing speaking, a bunch of keys fell on the table: "Don't worry, I'm collecting rent, so you don't have to worry about paying off debts." I picked up the key in my hand: how much is the monthly rent, and how long does it take to settle the bill? Su Zi and I believe in the friendship between brothers and sisters. In fact, the attic is a separate house with a sloping roof and windows that open to the sky. Lying on the bed, you can see flocks of birds flying through the clouds. Free to fly over the ground, I like it.

A few days later, I opened the door of the attic. It was clean and bright. The vines on the terrace spread to the roof, and the thick green leaves crowded around the edge of the skylight. The air was crisp and refreshing. On the days when Tiance was on a business trip, Su Zi rushed to the attic, and I lay on the floor, chatting nonchalantly, talking about men, talking about sex, and talking, Su Zi touched my suddenly hot cheek, It’s a smirk, laughing that I have not yet escaped poverty in sex.She said that life is a cup, a man is water added to the cup, and sex is soda thrown into the water. The act of not pouring water into the cup let alone adding a piece of soda, like me, is so pretentious. The era of fast food love, it is really silly.

"I haven't found any soda I can grab easily." In every woman's youth, there will be countless sodas, but some sodas are destined to hurt your body if you drink them. I would rather let the cup empty. I once asked the man I liked for soda. After I kissed him, he gave up because of my tears. He locked his hands firmly in his pockets, bowed his head and said: "Mei Di, forgive my impulse, you should be pampered, not suitable game." This scene happened a year ago in Beidaihe. An Luo and I went to an industry conference. He was my boss, married, and surrounded by many women. His first choice was not to fall in love.

A 31-year-old single woman who burst into tears with a kiss is not suitable. Beidaihe's kiss, An Luo, who is used to the game, can forget it when he turns around, but it is a sad secret that I remember, this is the only man I have actively expressed my love for many years ago and many years later. On weekends, when I worked overtime, Su Zi called and asked if she could find me in the office. She was bored shopping. I said, "Okay, I'll be done soon, let's have dinner together." Putting the last color on the fashion model, Su Zi was standing behind him, his eyes crossed the computer, he stopped when he reached An Luo, and then chuckled: "No wonder people all over the world hate overtime work, but you never get tired of it. It turns out that there are handsome guys here this."

Su Zi has always been like this when speaking, and he never hides his liking. I glared at her: "Please, how about keeping your word?" My heart still beat slightly, like a pinprick poking a dull pain. An Luo got up from the computer and pushed the disposable paper cup over: "I have tea or coffee here." Su Zi pouted his wet lips and looked at me, then showed his crystal clear and neat teeth, An Luo's eyes flickered a few times, as if being stabbed by a bright light. Later, An Luo said, "I've been busy all day and I'm exhausted. How about I treat everyone to dinner?"

If Su Zi hadn't come, An Luo wouldn't have made such a proposal. At the dining table, my name frequently bounced between their lips, but I was out of their sight. On this night, some ambiguous ambiguities needed to start with the name Meidi. I smiled silly and watched They tacitly tricked each other. Out of the hotel, some of their words no longer need to be expressed in words, their eyes are coming and going, they are completely transparent, and I on one side are like flowers and trees, but it is just a street scene. On the way home, Su Zi didn't speak, but tapped on the road with his thin heels and hummed a song without words. When he went upstairs, he suddenly said, "Mei Di, I'm fickle, you know."

I laughed silently, feeling sour in my heart: "Just don't annoy Yu Tiance." "Silly girl, I don't have this housekeeping skill, so how dare I go out and spend money." Su Zi squeezed my hand, the skin between his fingers was delicate and smooth, like a fish in water, full of sensuality. I am sleepless at night, their eyes criss-crossing and colliding in the air, shuttling through the dark night. Su Zi always has all sorts of plausible excuses to find me in the office, to show me a new dress, or to take a break along the way. In fact, he came to see An Luo, but he covered it up so tightly that no one could figure it out. Her ulterior motives, except me and An Luo.

Gradually, I got used to the fact that we went out for dinner together to play in the suburbs and evacuated on the way. I also got used to Suzi rushing to the attic at night, picking up the phone, and saying urgently, "Mei Di, make a call for me." A call from a strange woman is likely to arouse Mrs. An's suspicion, and Mrs. An is familiar with me. Even if she answers the call by chance, it can be interpreted as asking about business matters. Fortunately, An Luo answered in time every time, and the low-pitched hello came over. I handed the microphone to Su Zi, and went to the kitchen or bathroom to wash things, until there was nothing to wash, and turned around in the narrow space. , like a small animal trapped in a prison, filled with suffocation.

Perhaps because of Su Zi, An Luo has taken care of me more and more. It has nothing to do with ambiguity, but the warmth that has something to do with secrets. After working together for many years, I am noble and proud. No matter how much warmth Ren gives me, it will no longer be understood as being in love. An Luo's kindness to me is the gratitude of the perfected one to the perfected one. I can only grit my lips and bear it to the end. What he and Su Zi want is just a passionate game that can be hit together or broken up, but there is no place to advance and retreat freely when there is responsibility; and I, mixed with secret love and ambiguous love, An Luo doesn't want to bear it. I can't promise.

I tried to keep the night busy, at least I could avoid Su Zi's knock on the door. Rather than being forced into the bathroom by her soft voice, I would rather hide in the book bar to waste time.Because, this man named An Luo, I used to like, Su Zi's voice can always capture the memories of being rejected in Beidaihe, loss or a shallow sense of inferiority, like wild weeds crawling all over my heart, compared to women's temperament Vanity, so I can not forget. When Su Zi called, it was approaching midnight. Su Zi’s voice was teasing, and I could still hear her bewilderment. For many years, I was familiar with the expression of each of her voices: “Mei Di, where are you hiding?” You two enemies, it’s okay to quarrel for a while, come back quickly, because An Luo has been waiting for you at my house all night." After only being stunned for a moment, he guessed the reason. It must be that Su Zi didn't expect that Yu Tiance, who was on a business trip, would come back today. He made an appointment with An Luo, and accidentally let Yu Tiance bump into him. "I'll be right back." I don't want and can't let Su Zi's marriage hit the rocks. I know she is fickle, but she never wants to hurt Yu Tiance. Huaxin is more of a kind of life entertainment that is not recognized by social morality. It has nothing to do with love. In Suzi, the body and the heart are separated from each other, the former belongs to desire, and the latter is dedicated to the loyalty of love. When I went, Su Zi's teasing came to my face, leaning on Yu Tiance's arm, pointed at An Luo's gracefully curved chin, and said with a pun: "If you don't come back again, people will even have the heart to jump off the building .” An Luo stood up, smiled awkwardly, and leaned against me, Su Zi grabbed my hand and stuffed it into An Luo's arms: "Okay, my task is completed, and the rest is up to An Luo It's up to you." In the palm of Suzi's quick withdrawal, there was a piece of cold dampness. Yu Tiance didn't know about it, and even before we went out, he approached An Luo and whispered: "Girl, just coax a few words." My heart suddenly felt sad, and I was dragged upstairs by An Luo. An Luo sat on the shoe rack, smoking silently, the air was dull and turbid. Originally, the performance was over after leaving Yu Tiance's sight. We had nothing to say, the air was dull and turbid. fall in. An Luo narrowed his eyes, turned around, and broke the silence: "The room is well furnished." It was purely a nonsense sentence, meaningless at all, I responded casually: "Really?" Then, no more words. An Luo stood a short distance away: "Mei Di, am I mean?" "How do you feel?" My heart weakened into a dehydrated fruit. An Luo's hands crossed each other on his knees. I have never seen him so cramped. His former freedom and ease are gone. He has always been the kind of man who hides his embarrassment and is flamboyant and suave. Show everything. "Suzi and I are just playing games, the rule is to enjoy the process without taking responsibility." I said I knew it, and looked at him out of the corner of my eye: "If this is also an explanation, don't innocent people always bear the harm to the end?" "Mei Di, don't look at me like that, I feel bad, can you go out with me for a walk?" An Luo turned around, his back was slumped, I hesitated, and followed out. On the street, in the bleak autumn wind, fallen leaves rustled, and there was a slight sound of broken feet struggling. An Luo kept standing to light a cigarette, smoking hard, and kept on I have nothing to say, so do I. I want to say too much, but I can’t talk about it. Everyone is an adult who has experienced the world. pale and weak. The next night, Su Zi ran to the attic, with a face full of apprehension and lingering fear after avoiding the disaster: "Last night was so dangerous, thank you." I turned my head and ignored her: "I swear, this is the last time I will give you a pretense of having an affair. In front of Tiance, I don't want to panic like a thief." "Is this what An Luo meant?" Su Zi's eyes welled up with tears. "It's mine. Don't you think that the relationship with An Luo is like stealing someone else's underwear. If you accidentally expose it, you will be in a mess. What's the point other than getting hurt? Besides, you don't have no underwear to wear." "However, Mei Di, no matter how good the underwear is, you will get tired if you always wear one. Since other people's underwear is very tempting, if you are so reserved that you cry with regret, why not wear it to make yourself happy to the end." This is Su Zi's philosophy of life. It is not her temper to make herself scarred and voluntarily admit defeat for her wish. Later, Su Zi followed up and asked what An Luo said last night. I said, "Smoking." "Smoking all the time?" Seeing Su Zi sad, I couldn't bear to hurt her: "Keep smoking." Su Zi went downstairs silently. In fact, when he sent me back, An Luo once said that seeing Su Zi's intimacy on Tiance's arm, the only feeling he felt was that it was funny. She has an extramarital game of husband and wife. Once she witnesses the scene, she still feels sour and hurtful. There is a certain distance between the reality and imagination of everything. An Luo's lonely voice was full of tiredness. Su Zi called An Luo, but he was blocked back. Unwilling, Su Zi ran to the office under the pretense of looking for me. An Luo always made up an excuse to go out as quickly as possible. Su Zi endured until the end of the year in resentment, begging me to take her to the company's year-end family appreciation party, I understand that she couldn't stop, and wanted to see who Mrs. An really is, so that An Luo could calm down . Unable to twist her, he agreed not to make trouble or lose his composure, and let her follow. At the thank-you meeting, Su Zi quickly picked out the shadows of An Luo and his wife from the crowd. Mrs. An had thin lips and a white face, a very modest woman, who was always hanging on An Luo's arm like a little bird. Obviously, An Luo When Luo saw Su Zi, he tried to avoid him, but Su Zi, who came up with a temper, refused to let him succeed. He left me and chased after me: "Hey, Mr. An, don't you know me? We met." An Luo was stunned: "Yes, hehe, you are Meidi's classmate..." Su Zi sneered at the corners of his lips, and before he could make a sound, Mrs. An's eyes were squinting: "Isn't this Meidi? You don't have a boyfriend yet, you'll be 32 next year, right? May I help you pay attention to one?" Mrs. An's voice was raised very high, which was contrary to her usual ladylike appearance, and attracted countless gazes to my face, burning like needles. I knew that those phone calls caused her suspicion, and today I finally Finding an opportunity to hit a soft spot is embarrassing for me. Tears ran out, and then I heard Suzi say slowly: "Mrs. An, it's fortunate that your voice is so low that my brother can't hear him. Otherwise, he would throw away his MBA and fly back from the United States to question you. His fiancée was persuaded to run away." In Mrs. An's house, Su Zi dragged me away calmly. We drank and danced, had a crazy time, and An Luo, as if we didn't know each other. We didn't even look at each other. On the way home, we cried, Su Zi said : "Mei Di, I'm sorry, forgive my selfishness for hurting you." This year, with complicated emotions, I made a screen to block and witness a staged and curtain call of a desire that cannot be seen with others. Because there is no love, the love that has nothing to say remains silent.