Chapter 60 Chapter Fifty-ninth "Phoenix Hairpin"

Su Guanlan fell ill and was admitted to the hospital. It has been many years since he moved in with Qilu University, no, since he lived in Songju Hospital in the summer of 1929. This is the first time he has been hospitalized.He also wanted to relax, to adjust his thoughts and life.He thought, yes, it cannot be broken! Su Guanlan often practiced calligraphy and studied old-style poetry in middle school and college.During the war, they can't take care of these.In Nanjing after the war, school affairs were entangled, and I couldn't take care of these.It was not until this sickness that I had a bit of leisure and spiritual needs in this regard.He thanked the guests behind closed doors, and asked people to bring a lot of Tang poetry and Song Ci in various versions, read, recite, and transcribe, as a distraction.As I read it, I realized that this way of distraction is both enjoyment and torture, comfort and pain.For example, "The life of a goddess is originally a dream, and the house of my sister-in-law has no man", which reminds Su Guanlan of the "sister-in-law's residence" at Qilu University and the dreamlike love affair between him and Sister Qiong; Let everything go, let the words and tears flow first", how expressive, how melancholy and desolate!He also reread "Si Di Xiang" by Wei Zhuang of the Five Dynasties——

Spring outing, apricot blossoms blowing all over your head.Who is young in Moshang?foot romantic.The concubine intends to marry her and live off her life.Even if you are ruthlessly abandoned, you can't be ashamed! My father changed the word "Zong" in this poem to "Final" to ridicule him harshly. A girl fell in love with a beautiful boy, and imagined that if she could marry him, she would be willing to die!But is the Merry Boy reliable?Will he abandon her one day? "Even if you are ruthlessly abandoned, you can't be ashamed" is the girl's answer to herself, to her relatives, and to the whole society: even if she is ruthlessly abandoned, she will never regret it!

Su Guanlan thought: Yes, the important thing is that the two have really loved each other; or, at least as far as the girl is concerned, she has really loved, dedicated, tried and enjoyed, experienced the joy and madness of love, and this is not enough Yet?Why do others make irresponsible remarks?What right did he have to tease, taunt and humiliate her? Su Guanlan defended the girl and even herself.But the girl is luckier than him. After all, the girl has dedicated, tried and enjoyed, and experienced the joy and madness of love. What about him?He didn't want to and didn't dare to think deeply, so he had to find another collection to read, and then he came across Lu You.

Lu You left more than 9,300 poems in his life, which he treasured by himself, and collected without selection. There are many general works.The "Three Hundred Poems of Fang Weng" in front of me is different. About 300 poems were selected from more than 9,000 poems, accounting for one-thirtieth of the total, and it can be called the essence.The name of the editor Zhu Yutong aroused Su Guanlan's memory and reverie.Zhu Yutong is Zhu Ertong's older brother, who helped Su Guanlan and his sister Qiong for a long time when he was teaching in Jinan.This book is obviously imitating the "Three Hundred Poems of Tang Poems" by Hengtang retired scholar from the selection method to the title of the book, which is also true; but Zhu Yutong highlighted the tragedy of Lu You and Tang Wan in the preface, text and notes-this is true. Being ingenious will definitely resonate with many people, at least in Su Guanlan's mind.

When Lu You was nineteen years old, he married his cousin Tang Wan, and they had a very strong relationship after marriage.But soon, Lu You's mother forced her to divorce.Later, Lu You remarried to the Wang family, and Tang Wan remarried to Zhao Shicheng from the same county. Ten years later, Lu You revisited Shen's Garden, where he unexpectedly met Zhao Shicheng and Tang Wan!The scenery of Shen Garden remains the same, but Tang Wan has already become someone else's wife; it is not difficult to imagine the shock, pain, sorrow and helplessness between her and Lu You... When Zhao Shicheng knew that the man who was wandering alone in the distance was Tang Wan's ex-husband Lu You, he asked his family boy to send him a meal and wine as a compliment...

After Lu You drank it down, he asked the gardener to bring him pens and inks, and sang the eternal masterpiece "Phoenix Hairpin" on the white wall, and then staggered away.After Tang Wan finished reading "The Hairpin Head Phoenix", he died of depression not long after returning home—— At the age of thirty-four, Lu You finally walked out of his hometown and began his military and political career of "getting on his horse to beat the madman, getting off his horse and drafting military letters".But he did not forget his ex-wife, and always buried deep sorrow in his heart.Every time he returns to his hometown, he always revisits Shen Garden and misses Tang Wan...

The tragedy of Lu You and Tang Wan, and Lu You's song "Phoenix Hairpin" is well-known in China, and Su Guanlan certainly knew it long ago.However, seeing and re-reading this word from "Three Hundred Poems of Fang Weng" this time, I have a special feeling.God, isn't this about him and sister Qiong?The "Dongfeng evil" in the word refers to Lu's mother's unreasonable and feudal overbearing. This sentence can be used intact on his father; A true portrayal of sister relationship.There is also "I am sad, I have been away for a few years", there is also "Spring is like old, people are empty and thin", there is "Wrong Wrong Wrong" "Momomo", and...Of course, there are also big differences: Lu You married Tang Wan at the age of nineteen, and they lived together for about a year.Nineteen years old means dry firewood for those who are immersed in love. Lu You and Tang Wan have been "burned through" together, and they have been burned together into one body - and Su Guanlan and his sister Qiong only shook hands once!

Su Guanlan now feels that, in a sense, Lu You is lucky and enviable.Fang Weng was a poet, so he was able to write the hymn of love and elegy "Phoenix on the Hairpin Head", which has touched generations of Chinese people.The love between Lu You and Tang Wan is beautiful, but their tragedy is even more beautiful!Lu You was lucky to live to a very old age. He returned to his hometown many times during his lifetime. After he became an official, he returned to his hometown to settle down. First, at the age of 81, he also wrote "Night Sleepwalking in Shen's Garden Pavilion"...

At the end of 1946, Su Guanlan was invited to attend the celebration of Jinling University on behalf of Nanjing Pharmaceutical College.Stepping into the campus of Jinling University, seeing the tall bell tower and buildings with red walls and green tiles, seeing willows, green grass and small bridges, he suddenly recalled the description of the school scenery in sister Qiong's letters. , Realizing that this was Sister Qiong's alma mater, I was immediately upset!Seeing the buildings, he guessed which of them Sister Qiong had lived and studied in; passing through the woods, he seemed to have returned to the past, and one of the girls reading on the grass was Sister Qiong. Will look back and smile, and then run towards him?Crossing the small bridge, he looked at the mirror-like water surface under the bridge, imagining that Sister Qiong had looked at her beautiful face and figure from the water no less than a thousand times...

That day, Su Guanlan's heart was pounding, she was very sad, she left early, and decided not to come to Jinling University again! Back at the pharmacy college, he wrote Lu You's "Shen Yuan" two poems: When "Shen Yuan" was written, it had been forty-four years since Tang Wan died of depression, and "forty years" is an integer.Su Guanlan tried to rewrite one of them into a vernacular poem—— Su Guanlan went to Shanghai alone after half a month of hospitalization and recovery.He first visited St. John's University for two days, nominally to inspect the teaching and research status of chemistry and pharmacology in the school, but actually for the sake of nostalgia.More than ten years ago, from 1928 to 1929, he "borrowed" here and spent an unusual year.Unusual because this year changed his life: he went to Takahashi for a swim at the end of the year, met Joan in that terrible storm...

St. John's University respected this "alumnus" and his current status as the acting president of the National Nanjing Pharmaceutical College, and sent a car to take him to Gaoqiao.Su Guanlan saw that most of the original European-style buildings in this area are still preserved, and some Japanese-style cottages have been added, as well as Chinese-style and Chinese-foreign buildings newly built after the war; in short, it is much more prosperous and lively than ten years ago.Unfortunately, the swimming pool is completely gone, and it is difficult to determine its exact location.The swimming pool was completely destroyed by the storm, and the billowing waves swept away the collapsed watchtower and crumbling sheds, leaving a muck; no one, it seems, tried to repair it after the storm.The river branch has probably been diverted. Natural alluvial and artificial landfills have turned the area into flat land and terraces, with weeds overgrown and trees swaying here and there; cement, bricks, and prefabricated pipes are piled up everywhere, and it seems that the area will be built into a road or a park. ... Leave Shangqiao and go to Songju.As the car moved forward, Su Guanlan recalled Lu You's 81-year-old poem "The road is close to the south of the city and I am afraid of walking" when she was more and more nervous. what!But this time he came to Songju to look for the old sites, to experience this special sentimentality, and to bid farewell to Sister Qiong—yes, it was farewell!From now on, this life will no longer have such an opportunity. Stopped and asked for directions along the way, and arrived at the destination Songju at two o'clock in the afternoon. The area has been turned into a battlefield several times over the past eighteen years.The Japanese Marine Corps landed here, Japanese planes bombarded it indiscriminately, and the Chinese army built fortifications and dug trenches here, fought bloody battles and killed the sky.Therefore, the former Songju Hospital and the nearby farmhouses have long since disappeared, and there is only a ruins intertwined with weeds and trees and ruined walls; some ancient willows and pine trees near and far arouse Su Guanlan's reverie... But in the distance new houses appeared, mostly farmhouses; and a small town rose in the distance.Su Guanlan asked the driver to go back to Shanghai, saying that she would stay here for a day.The driver sent him to a hotel in the town to settle down, and then said politely, "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning." After the driver drove away, Su Guanlan wandered alone, unknowingly raced for five or six miles, and finally came to the ground of Songju Hospital.He staggered and lingered on the ruins for a long time.He seemed to feel that he suddenly possessed extraordinary perception ability, and he could see many things through the wild grass, weeds, trees and ruined walls... A pink and white two-story building.The ceiling and walls are white, the doors and window lattices are also white, and the white glistening everywhere is a bit dazzling; looking out from the window, the yard is surrounded by a circle of bamboo fences, and inside the fence are green shadows, dozens of ancient trees. Willows are clustered around the building; the dark green pine forest outside the fence is lush... Outside the window, cicadas neigh desperately on the willow tree. The little nurse Ah Luo was only a teenager at that time, wearing a white turban and white blouse.Su Guanlan asked her "your surname", she pointed to the big tree outside the window... Su Guanlan said, "Liu, that's a good surname." Ah Luo curled his lips: "Speak nicely!" There is also Dean Liu, with a white hat and a white coat, and a white goatee beard, only the tortoise shell frame of the pair of glasses on the bridge of the nose is black.The old man likes to nod, smile, and always hangs a stethoscope around his neck... The moonlight is clear outside the screen window, the blue sky is like washing, and there are frogs, drums, insects and zithers. Ah Ro led him downstairs.In a ward downstairs, bright sunlight pours in from the window, and the room is filled with golden and light green, which is quiet and warm.On a white steel wire bed, a tall, well-proportioned girl with plump and slender fingers is reading a book; viewed from the side, she has a pale, thin face and a straight nose; her long chestnut black hair is tied behind her head. Let it hang down from your shoulders like a ponytail to your towering chest... The room was silent, only the cicadas on the willow tree outside the window were neighing desperately, as if they could still hear the beating hearts of two people... Sister Qiong cried happily: "It's a match made in heaven, God finally gave me a younger brother!" Sister Qiong's pale cheeks were suddenly flushed.She grabbed Su Guanlan's hands, pressed them against her chest, stared at Su Guanlan with a smile, and captured his every expression; the young man felt the elasticity and sharp ups and downs of the girl's chest, felt the rapid beating of the other's heart and the youthful heat , also aware of the panic and impulse in my heart... The lush pine forest outside the courtyard wall made a lot of noise under the sea breeze.A path winds through the pine forest.It would have been possible for him to walk hand in hand with Sister Joan, aimlessly along that path, until he came to a certain branch that changed his destiny... Ah, Miss Joan, Miss Joan!Su Guanlan first met Sister Qiong at Songju Hospital, but now she wants to bid farewell to Sister Qiong in this unusual place.The so-called "farewell" means that he will forget Sister Qiong from now on.Su Guanlan weighed her heart.He knew that he didn't resent sister Qiong; the reason why he wanted to forget it was just to save himself from suffering.During the long years, the two of them had loved each other sincerely, and Sister Qiong had helped him a lot; he even believed that Sister Qiong still loved him so far.He thought, it was precisely because of this kind of love, in order to minimize his pain, that sister Qiong adopted a method of gradually alienating her, until she finally left quietly, disappearing into the vast crowd without a sound... As in those days, the environment here is beautiful and the air is fresh.The lush pine forest outside the hospital has not been destroyed by the flames of war and the years, and it is still making noise under the sea breeze.There is a path in the pine forest.He walked this path eighteen years ago, and he has gone farther today; didn't he say that "leaving hatred is just like spring grass, and the farther you go, the more you will survive", then go on, and go to a place where there is no spring grass to wrap your knees!Until night, Su Guanlan was surprised to find that she had come to a coast.The pale moonlight was pouring down thousands of miles, and the sea was shimmering; probably the tide was rising, and the waves were roaring and boiling, scrambling to rush to the shore... Su Guanlan knew that in front of her was the East China Sea, which was part of the Western Pacific Ocean.Across this vast wave, forward, further forward, across the entire Pacific Ocean, it is the United States, the country where Sister Qiong lives... "Ah, it's Sister Qiong again!" Su Guanlan murmured, her eyes moist.He sat down on a stone, and sat there for hours and hours, until the dew wet his temples and his clothes, and the turbulent tide came crashing down at his feet.He finally understood that it is impossible to forget sister Qiong in this life, nor should he!He stood up and gazed at the east; trying to overwhelm the roar of the sea waves, he cried out loudly, with tears streaming down his face: "Sister Qiong, sister Qiong, where are you?"