Chapter 37 Thirty-four, do you know what is twenty-one years old?

Dear MM: Honestly, your reply surprised me.Your whole letter is about the process of decay - how your body dries out, just didn't see you say how you get wiser and more experienced as you age and what you expect" Grow old gracefully" and live in peace.I thought you'd say that when you're old you'll be comfortable reclining in a rocking chair and recounting the great things you've accomplished in your life -- you basically don't have to worry about money or work and your family is happy, I thought you were in a situation like yours Comfortable people talk about "oldness" in a very leisurely way.

So, I want to thank you, MM, for destroying any illusions about "aging gracefully" and giving me a whole bunch of terrible imaginations about aging.I don't think about what will happen in twenty or thirty years. What will bother me is what will happen in the next two or three years.Sometimes, I think about the process of life: first, the whole world revolves around your parents, and later, it's a competition whose toy is the most fun.After the toys are gone, the next topic will always revolve around girls.When did girls stop being a topic?I hope never. I mean, when, man, my friends and I stop talking about literature and football and movies and great ideas, we talk about "is private equity a good business" and we talk about The most important thing is which company pays the best, who has friendship with the boss of which listed company.It feels like we're kids playing in the sand again, only now it's no longer about who has the best parents, the biggest house, or the most toys.Not long ago when I was surfing the Internet, I found out that my ex-girlfriend was also online.Having not been in touch for several years, I decided to write her a few lines to say hello.In fact, I hoped that it would be best if she wasn't there, so I wouldn't be embarrassed, but unfortunately, she was there, and she responded immediately and talked a lot.After we talked for a while, she told me that she was getting married and that she and her fiancé were looking for a house.I politely asked her how she met him, and then hurriedly ended the conversation.

It's not that I still have any reluctant feelings for her, but that my feeling is very strange.But it's not over yet.Last week I received a photo of one of my high school classmates wearing a white wedding dress, it was her wedding.My astonishment was the same as when I found out that my ex-girlfriend was married on the Internet that day: Is this what it is?Already started?Didn't we just huddle together in a smoky little bar, talking loudly, arguing about Goethe's poems, didn't we just get half drunk and talk about our future—why are we getting married and starting a family now?No way?impossible?Shouldn't there be another stage, when we start talking about career, marriage, and family, why is someone already involved in it?So in the next phase of career, marriage, and family, do we also have to talk about joint pain, incontinence, pelvis replacement, and Alzheimer's earlier?

Switching in and out of strange situations Do you know where I am in life, MM?In fact, I am already facing the pressure and challenges in the future of my life—academic and career, but at home, as long as I live with you, I still have to be treated like a twelve-year-old child. "Your room is such a mess!" you say. "Did you finish your homework?" you asked. "It's two o'clock, should I go to bed?" You urged.You may feel wronged, but sorry, for a twenty-one-year-old European like me, this is the attitude towards a twelve-year-old child.You don't know what twenty-one years old means in Europe.

So my feeling was that outside I was a stressed, independent adult, but as soon as I stepped inside, I became a "rebel youth".I had an internal role reversal: while figuring out the best strategy for trading stocks, I was trying to explain to my mom why I didn't get home until 5 a.m. last night.To tell you the truth, the latter is harder than the former.But I also found a way to make peace with you.The weirdest thing is actually in school. My Asian classmates look so immature in my eyes. Could it be that their parents have more control over them and are more "protective"?I can't imagine, but what I see is the result.I could tell you a thousand examples, but one or two will suffice.One day, John and I went to the student dormitory. When we opened the door, we saw John's Hong Kong classmates, a couple of boyfriend and girlfriend, sitting on the edge of the bed and playing. How can we play?She was holding a little furry bear in her hand, and he was holding a little furry dog. The two of them made a "super cute" whining sound, pushed back and forth, giggled and laughed, and played for a long time, like Two eight year olds.But they were both twenty-three years old.

In class, such as French class, the teacher pronounces a sound, and the students think the sound is funny, and they will collectively make the kind of giggling laughter that primary school girls make.They will always speak with a "cute" voice and their body language will always be "cute".I sat in it and felt like a hundred-year-old man.Do you understand, I just move in and out in these strange situations, and I already have doubts and uneasiness about the future in my heart, so you come to tell me how terrible it is to be "old"? Andre 2007-09-23