Chapter 2 Melancholy, curl up

Melancholy, curl up The man I fell in love with and then broke up with many years ago met at a coffee shop, a shop full of green plants, full of Provence atmosphere, in a winding alley.Because he was afraid that I would get lost, the man thoughtfully walked to the alley and waited.I arrived early, and from a distance, I saw the man leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette in the dusk. When he saw me, he quickly dropped the cigarette, stamped it out, came forward, and greeted me with a smile. At that moment, I suddenly thought that everything was back to the past. He always stopped smoking in a panic, because he told me every time that he would quit smoking for me, and he had already quit smoking.I am quite sensitive to the smell of smoke. Most of the time, when he meets me, he can always remove all the smell of smoke on his body, as fresh as a new aloe vera.His clothes, hair, fingers and skin do not smell of smoke at all. I almost believe that he has indeed successfully quit smoking.For me, for his own health, he really did it.However, at the time of parting, when he came close to kiss, I smelled the smell of tobacco in his nose tube.I was so angry that I got into trouble with him, ignored him for several days, and refused to answer his phone calls. When my anger subsided, he announced that when I was cruel to see him, he couldn't bear the painful emotions. , So, started smoking again.

It was like a paradoxical cycle, quitting, smoking, quitting, smoking, and in the end, he still couldn't quit.However, I found that I could no longer look at him and his cigarettes so harshly.I imagined that at that time, he actually spent a lot of effort to convince me that he had indeed successfully quit smoking.He had to time his meeting with me and put an end to the idea of ​​smoking before then; he had to scrub every part of his body diligently to remove the residual smell of smoke.He has indeed paid and worked hard, which should not be erased.Many women may be like me, using too much energy to fight against the "bad habit" of men smoking, which consumes more energy than preventing an affair.

"If a man quits smoking too easily, he must be ruthless." My friend Rarity has such insightful insights on men and smoking.She thinks that men's feelings for cigarettes are very special. They regard cigarettes as a kind of sustenance and a channel of expression. When they are depressed or melancholy, they can achieve a kind of sublimation between the puffing and puffing of smoke. She remembered that when she was young, she met a boy in a cram school. The two got along very well. They often made appointments to climb the water tower on the top floor of the dormitory and chat under the moonlight.The boy does not dare to smoke in front of his girlfriend, but always smokes beside Rarity. Rarity begs for cigarettes from him. The two seem to share some kind of secret, and a certain ambiguous feeling develops.and after?Ruirui talked about him: "Then I saw myself smoking, and I was terrified, so I quit." According to Ruirui, the posture of many Taiwanese women smoking is too masculine, with squinted eyes and raised eyebrows. The image of sunken cheeks, copied from our fathers or brothers, is not graceful or feminine.This is true, I traveled to Spain, men and women, old and young, each held a cigarette, which made me runny nose and tears, but the posture of the women there smoking is really beautiful, graceful and seductive.Maybe it's because there's been a long enough history of women smoking.

Although many men themselves smoke, they do not allow women to smoke. The superficial reason is that it is not good for their health, but the real reason is that women do not look good when they smoke.I know many women who don't smoke in front of others, they are forbidden by their gender.In a laundromat in Spain, I saw a sign saying: "Smoking is free, this is not America".I really want to give it to my female friends who only dare to hide and smoke, such a sign: "You can smoke freely, although you are a woman."