Chapter 12 five years

On the evening when I took a picture of the sky five years ago, At the moment when I secretly figured out the other party's mind, The god of destiny has quietly planted the foreshadowing. The two people who once thought that they would go their separate ways from now on, In the end, they became lifelong companions. On May 6, 2008, it was first published.However, because we are abroad, we did not get the sample booklet immediately.But this date... I immediately rushed to the computer to look up the diary of that year—as expected, five years ago, Mingji and I parted ways in Lhasa on May 6, 2003.

I stared blankly at the date in the lower right corner of the computer screen, and the hairs on my body stood up one by one.If there is a Snowy God, is he reminding us that the five-year agreement has arrived in this way? On that day five years ago, Lhasa was no different from any previous day.Looking out from the roof of the Jokhang Temple, the city is quiet and solemn, and the passage of time and changes in the world seem to have no effect on it.The monks were busy tidying up the Buddhist hall of the main hall, a long-haired hippie was meditating in a serious manner not far away, dozens of happy Tibetans were singing and playing aga, and Mingji and I were sitting side by side on plastic chairs.At that time, the distance between us was only 0.01 cm, but neither of us had the courage to touch each other's fingertips.I can only quietly look at his side face, knowing that I will always remember his face at this moment.

He suddenly said to me, why don't we meet here five years later and revisit the old place.I nodded and said yes, and couldn't help but start imagining what we would look like in five years. Where were we in 2008, and what kind of people have we become?We may still be single, and we may show up to each other with partners.We can still be friends, we can still greet each other, but can we find a reason to hug?Maybe I can finally muster up the courage to mention to him the heartbeat on the trip in the spring of 2003, maybe I can just keep silent and let the past go with the wind... I saw the beginning, but did not guess the ending.On the evening when I took a picture of the sky five years ago, at the moment when I was secretly thinking about the other party's mind, the god of fate had quietly laid the groundwork.The two people who thought they would go their separate ways from now on finally became partners who depended on each other.

In December 2008, Mingji and I set off from London to go to the five-year agreement we made on the roof of the Jokhang Temple.In the eyes of others, this may be a hypocritical move, but for us, fulfilling the agreement is nothing more than a natural thing.For the Jokhang Temple, for Tibet, and for destiny, I have always been grateful.What's more, I also want to see myself back then. Sitting on the train from Beijing to Lhasa, we were both excited and a little uneasy. We didn’t know whether it was a hasty decision to choose to go to Tibet in winter. The down jackets on both of us were bought in Beijing the night before to keep warm Underwear, snow boots, heating packs and the like are all missing...

It was evening when we arrived in Lhasa.I stayed in a youth hostel I had seen online before. The place was cheap and clean, but our room was on the first floor, and it was cold beyond imagination.Although an electric blanket was coming, it was still so cold that it seemed that I was freezing my breath.We try to keep our limbs huddled within the "sphere of influence" of the electric blanket, because everything outside the boundary feels like ice cubes to the touch.Two heavy quilts weighed on her body and she couldn't even breathe.Mingji soon started to catch a cold, and because of jet lag and altitude sickness, he almost lost sleep all night.While waiting for the dawn, I kept comforting him: "It's okay, let's go to the front desk tomorrow and ask for a sunny room upstairs...it will be much better when the sun comes out..."

It was finally dawn, and he sat up abruptly and took a long breath: "Forget the sunny room upstairs, let's go out and find a hotel with heating!" For the safety of his life, we hurriedly got up trembling to find a "heated hotel".I finally found one with air conditioning, plenty of sunlight, and a reasonable price.This nightmare is not over yet. Later, when drinking tea at Canggu Monastery one day, I met two tourists. They said that the people who would choose to visit Tibet in winter were the "Three Misses".The so-called "three losses", that is, lovelorn, unemployment, abnormal.Mingji and I looked at each other and smiled.In this way, we are afraid that we are "abnormal".

But then I gradually discovered that although Lhasa is extremely cold in winter, it has an authentic scene.The colorful jackets of the tourists are gone, and the bustling streets are full of Tibetans, who are the real masters of the city.Most of the stalls on Balang Street sell tourist souvenirs in summer, but almost all of them are for locals in winter, with leather robes, blankets, boots... full of them.There are very few tourists in the tourist attractions in winter, and the quiet atmosphere often complements the lonely temperament of the temples and hermitage caves themselves. Those who know will appreciate the beauty of the right time and place.The reduction in travel costs is the icing on the cake - winter is the off-season for travel, and accommodation and transport are cheap, sometimes less than half of what they are in high season.Attraction tickets are also often sold at 50% off.

What's more, the warm winter sun on the plateau is really intoxicating. It doesn't feel cold during the day, and the sunshine time can reach more than ten hours a day.Having lived in England for a long time, we were fed up with the hazy weather. The two of us lived like ducks in water in Lhasa. We didn't care about any ultraviolet rays at all, and we basked in the sun with our faces up all day long.Sunlight is actually more effective than air conditioning.As long as the curtains of the hotel room are opened in the morning, after a day of sunlight, even if the air conditioner is not turned on at night, it will not feel cold.Once before dawn, I took a bus to the Zayeba Monastery in Dazi County. The car leaked everywhere, and a layer of ice formed on the glass windows, and the cold air came from all directions.We were both shivering, too cold to speak, and we had lost feeling in our feet when we got out of the car.But when the sun rose from the valley and lit up the hills, our icy bodies suddenly began to thaw, and the beauty of Zayeba miraculously bloomed in front of us at the same moment, just like the big red in the London theater The velvet curtain was pulled open with a swipe.It was from that moment that I developed "sun worship" like the ancient Egyptians.

Because of the cold weather, we did not run long distances this time, and only circled around Lhasa and surrounding areas: Go to Pabangka on Niangre Mountain to see the place where the Tibetan language was born. On the way down the mountain, I met a Tibetan uncle who warmly invited us to drink beer. We sat on the barren hillside and drank and chatted together. We learned that the person in front of us was actually the mysterious sky burial in the legend. Master, and the uncle of the celestial burial master is actually very down-to-earth, and shared with us a lot of life insights on how to live in harmony between husband and wife, and his idol is actually the Korean actress Jang Nara.

On Wednesday, you must go to Zaki Temple, which is the only temple for the God of Wealth in Tibet.People from all corners of the country came here to worship with the wish of seeking wealth, and the mulberry stove outside the temple gate has already raised the curl of mulberry smoke.The main worship Buddha in the temple, Zakiram, is said to be from the mainland, responsive to requests and addicted to alcohol, so every believer brings white wine to worship the Tibetan God of Wealth.A monk is responsible for opening bottles of liquor and pouring them into a huge wine vat. The smell of alcohol in the Buddhist hall is so strong that people feel intoxicated. The God of Wealth can definitely give him a kiss today.

From time to time we will visit the Pande Dajie Vocational Technical Welfare School.The more than 100 students here are mainly orphans, mildly disabled teenagers and teenagers from extremely poor families. The six-year schooling mainly teaches traditional Tibetan culture and art. The school also employs Tibetan, Chinese and English teachers to teach cultural courses.It is not easy for more than one hundred students to rely on the school for food, clothing and housing. Principal Zado said that all the students are vegetarians. The nearby residents sometimes send some rice and oil, and good-hearted people donate some clothes, but the donation is still far away. not enough.We originally prepared a little money and wanted the principal to buy some food for the students, but he refused to accept it even if he beat him to death, saying that the school has principles and can only use formal donations.We had no choice but to buy more than a dozen cartons of milk, fruit, candy and the like to send to them. More often, we just wandered aimlessly on the streets of Lhasa.Every house and every face makes me feel like coming home. Even if I do nothing every day, just drinking sweet tea and basking in the sun, I will feel a dense sense of happiness from the bottom of my heart.In my London office, I was used to being as calm and restrained as a man, and now I would even look admiringly at the sight of a woman selling chips on the street and a child fighting with a runny nose.A bunch of gentle and slender emotions floated up from nowhere, as pure and low as the sky on the plateau.Perhaps this is the legendary "nostalgia from previous lives"?Strange to say, there was no altitude sickness from the beginning to the end of the two trips to Tibet. It seems that my body and soul have an undeniable preference for Tibet. I still love Lhasa, but I can see that it has changed a lot.It makes sense to think about it—why not myself?The children begging on the street called me "Ajia" ("sister" in Tibetan) five years ago, but now they call me "Auntie" by coincidence... The most obvious change in Lhasa is that there are countless armed police and plainclothes on the streets.There are heavy guards on the roads leading to various temples. They wear tear gas and shields, with an awe-inspiring look on their faces.It is common to see military vehicles full of soldiers passing by one after another on the street, and the young men huddled together in the back compartment but remained motionless and did not look sideways.I was terrified that the peaceful and peaceful scene five years ago might never come back again. One night when I went back to the hotel, I saw a group of armed police patrolling again on the road.When I approached, I heard one of them humming affectionately in a low voice: "Why are you wandering... wandering far away... wandering..." It really fit the situation, and I couldn't help laughing out.After laughing, there is also a little pity.These soldiers are almost all Han nationality, and they left their homes and were stationed far away at a young age.In the dead of night, in the silent and empty street, they suddenly became individuals with flesh and blood and emotions.I didn't have a good impression of them at first, but now I feel "the same people who have fallen in the end of the world".Thinking of the thin clothes and red noses they saw during the day, I feel very conflicted. A friend in Lhasa told us an interesting story: several foreign tourists were taking pictures on the streets of Lhasa, but the cameras were confiscated by the armed police.They were very anxious, and they went to the police station to negotiate together the next day. When they came back, they smiled and said that not only did they get the camera back, but also all the photos in it, but they were warned by the police uncle to be careful in the future.But the most shocking thing is—it is said that because the two parties had such a happy chat, they finally decided to take a group photo—in the police station... Before it was published, I only regarded this book as a personal memorial, and never thought it would receive so much attention.Many readers wrote to me and Mingji to tell me their reading feelings, and even shared their love views and life stories with us. In addition to being moved, I was also surprised—a small and thin book with few words and an uncomplicated plot. How could He De be loved by so many people?To be honest, after I got the book, I have never been able to read it completely myself—my diary part in the book is written many years ago, with a girlish literary accent, and every time I read less than two pages, I feel embarrassed. I feel so ashamed that I can only comfort myself with "I was only 21 years old at that time" and "The ignorant are fearless". It is really hard for the readers to endure all this.But I also knew long ago that the point of this book is not the writing.As many readers have said, the greatest value lies in its authenticity-because there have been too many unresolved loves on the road, the true story of "lover gets married" is undoubtedly a little comforting.And...yes, even my sour and hypocritical and immature pretending to be mature back then are all true. When we returned to Tibet this time, we specially brought three books, one of which was intended to be given to "Uncle Potato" Ah Gang who had been known for a long time but had never met. Ah Gang, a native of Hong Kong, is an out-and-out travel fanatic. After graduating from university, he ran around the world and walked on the road for seven years.It wasn't until a year ago that he finally ended his life of living everywhere, chose to settle down in Lhasa, and opened a coffee shop in earnest. We were both curious about Ah Gang and his "Fengzhuan Cafe", so we visited on the second day after we arrived in Lhasa.Ah Gang has a round face and round glasses, and his cartoon face looks like Garfield.He was wearing a Tibetan fur robe and a Tibetan fur-lined hat on his head, but he was wearing a pair of hole shoes that normal people would only wear in summer.When we first met Ah Gang, he was still a little shy and reserved, and Mingji and I couldn’t stand it and ran to his shop every day. After we got acquainted, he began to unscrupulously release his crazy and crazy temperament, which is very different from us who also have two lunatics living in our hearts. Speculation (although he always called me "Sister Fax", and I was so angry that I frequently ran away in the store...).He was also writing a book at that time, the title of which was "Wind in Tibet", about the life of selling coffee in Lhasa.Everyone is a "sao" person, and now because of the relationship between writing books, they are all included in the "Mo Ke" list... After giving it to Ah Gang, he casually put it in the cafe, but was unexpectedly loved by many Tibetan friends.That night, it was borrowed by a Tibetan girl who worked at the Tibet AIDS Prevention Foundation. She returned it three days later, and was borrowed by the staff of Fengzhuan Café to watch it, and then lent it to a Tibetan friend who worked in a Tibetan song and dance troupe... ...and so on and on, Ah Gang, who was the first to receive the book, never had a chance to read it. Yang Zong is a third-year student in the nursing department of Tibet University. He works in Fengzhuan Cafe during the winter vacation.Yang Zong and I hit it off right away. She has a cheerful personality and speaks freely. When I asked her if she had a boyfriend, she said "Oh, we broke up" without shyness at all, and then said, "The boys in Aba Prefecture, Sichuan are very good-looking." Kind of yearning.Yang Zong liked it very much, and was eager to express his thoughts after finishing it: "It's like a Korean drama!" (Uh... Mingji and I looked at each other...) She may have read it more than once, and she knows the plot of the book very well. Entering Fengzhuan, Yangzong always brought up various details in the book—"You are from Jiangxi, he is from Hong Kong...", "I also want to watch the movie "Heartbeat" you mentioned", "Maggie Is Mi fun? After reading your book, I plan to read it too"... She would urge us from time to time: "Go to Mount Everest again! Go to Shigatse again! That was five years ago The places we’ve been to together, let’s go see them again!” (But my sister, the snowy roads are hard to walk in winter...) Because Yangzong always asked where it was sold, and said that he wanted to buy it for her classmates and friends, we simply gave her an extra copy.This book was soon borrowed by another Tibetan girl, Xiao Y.The next day we met Xiao Y in the store, she had a helpless smile on her lips: "I read your book...it makes me so depressed..." I know her story, so I can fully understand how she feels.Little M, a boy from Hong Kong, traveled to Tibet and stayed for more than three months. He and Xiao Y met and fell in love during this period, but little M also returned to Hong Kong a few days before we left.Although he said that he would return to Lhasa in a few months, this relationship is destined to undergo many tests - distance, ethnicity, culture... These are more severe than what Mingji and I experienced back then. It is said in the Buddhist scriptures: A person who loves desire is like holding a torch. If he walks against the wind, he must suffer from burning hands.But in love, who would be afraid of burning hands?I just hope that the wind is a little bit smaller, and then a little bit smaller, so that lovers can walk with the torch and see the bright road ahead. There was one left, and of course we sent it to Maggie Ami. Five years ago, on the second day after I left Tibet, Mingji walked alone into Maji Ami, where we had been together, and wrote me a letter in the guest book.Over the years, I have been struggling to "press" what he wrote in this mysterious letter. In the first two years, he always pretended to be mysterious and said "you will know when you go back and read it later", but later, with time The passage of time... Even he himself forgot what he wrote... Time easily played with us, and one person's curiosity finally evolved into two people's curiosity. I always thought that the guestbook was the soul of Maggie Ami, but I didn’t expect the soul to become so “heavy” after years of absence, it was like “iron in the soul” in English—the guestbook has a thick The big pile is very heavy to move, and it is not arranged in chronological order at all, so it is very troublesome to find it. Originally it was a very romantic event in my imagination, but the actual situation became that Mingji and I sat face to face at both ends of the table, buried our heads in a large pile of guest books in front of us, kept waving our hands and shaking our heads. Sigh: "Not this one...nor this one..." The saddest thing is that after a lot of hard searching and sorting, the guest book goes back to 2004 and then stops abruptly. What about before 2004? !We complained and called the waiter Zerang Gonpo, who seemed to be familiar with it: "There are too many guestbooks, and I can't fit them in the store. They may have been stored in the warehouse..." Alas, the past is far away, and the brocade book is full of hatred... Life is not a movie after all, so I have to explain to myself that this can be regarded as "the beauty of regret". Although the letter could not be found, the book still had to be delivered.In fact, I was a little embarrassed, but fortunately there were not many people in the store at the time.Like thieves, Mingji and I handed it to Zerang Gonpo in a low voice, "This is... the book we wrote... Let's put it here as a souvenir..." He took the book with three eyes on his face. One point of doubt and two points of bewilderment.Both Mingji and I belong to the kind of people who are very afraid of sensational words. We stood still for a while but couldn't say anything, so we hurried away. I thought this book would settle down on Maggie Ami's bookshelf since then, but this is not its final destination. More than a year later, I saw the following passage on the blog of a netizen "Moonwatcher": "Zelang Gonpo of Maji Ami saw that I was always holding a 'book' to read, and said he would give me a book. I asked what book, he said he didn't know, it was given by two young people who were eating in the restaurant He said that he wanted to keep something as a souvenir. I said that it would not be good for you to pass on the books that others gave you. Gonpo said, there is nothing wrong with it. A book is only a book if you read it, and he can’t read it anyway. Speaking of this, I had no choice but to "smile and accept". Unexpectedly, a few days later, Kampot brought a copy! I laughed and said that this book has long been available, and I wrote an article to get it. Comments approved by the 'male protagonist' in the book..." My jaw almost dropped.I first met Mochizuki on the Internet because she wrote a book review "You bring laughter, I am lucky to have it" written by her on Douban.The book review is very delicate and pertinent, and Mingji and I both appreciate it.Later, I also paid attention to her other writings on the Internet, and felt that while she was very talented, she also had a very positive style. She was not sour or posing, and she was knowledgeable but very amiable.In reality, we have never met each other. We thought that our fate ended on the Internet, but we never thought that there would be such a erroneous relationship between books. The reason why I say "by mistake" is because the book was originally given to Maggie Ami. I hoped it would occupy a small corner on the bookshelf in the store as a souvenir, but I don't know it is our expressive ability. It's too bad because Zelang Gonpo's Chinese level is limited. In short, he would make a mistake, thinking that the book was given to him.Now I can completely understand his astonishment at that time——two strange strangers somehow sent me a Chinese book that I don’t know what it’s about... A book has a book's destiny, and it's nice that it ended up in the hands of someone we love. It is said that "the feeling of being close to the hometown is timid", and I returned to the Jokhang Temple with this feeling in my arms.As soon as we walked to the door, the familiar colors, sounds and smells rushed through the mist of time like mountains and seas, and when we entered the Buddhist hall of the main hall, we saw the sea of ​​butter lamps and solemn treasures again. And shock is still exactly the same as when I saw it at the beginning of the year, my eyes are a little moist. It also happened to meet someone who was destined, and the old Lama Dazhu kindly led us to visit the hall on the third floor that was originally closed to the public.There was a sudden power outage at that time, we took out our mobile phones as flashlights, and we could vaguely see the exquisite thangkas and murals on the wall.Dazhu introduced that this is the room where the fourth and fifth Dalai Lamas once lived.He lifted up a corner of the curtain and told us that during festivals and important ceremonies, the Dalai Lama watched the devout believers and crowds of people through the window from here.I don't know what kind of emotion drives it, but people here have a particularly strong sense of sacredness in religion.When Dazhu pointed out to us the statue of God and the chair the Dalai Lama had sat on, I bowed my head almost without thinking.In my heart, like all Tibetan believers, I also long to be close to God and receive His blessing. After watching the hall, we sat on the roof with a few lamas to bask in the sun and chat.They were very friendly, let us share small bread together, and poured sweet tea into paper cups for us to drink.This is the benefit of winter, without the hustle and bustle of crowds, sitting with closed doors, and long days.A black cat nestled lazily at the feet of the old lama, and he naturally helped the black cat wipe away the eye poo with his fingers. Knowing that Mingji is from Hong Kong, the lamas chatted with us about Hong Kong stars excitedly. "Andy Lau, Jacky Cheung, Aaron Kwok..." A fat lama wrung his fingers and muttered to himself, "Four Heavenly Kings, Four Heavenly Kings, which one else?" "Liming." I said with a smile.He also knows Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Chow Yun-fat. "Chow Yun-fat is very good!" He nodded earnestly, "Jet Li is also good, he also believes in Buddhism."..."There is another one, from Hong Kong, who is small, small...a little older...he Came to our place last year..." He rubbed the stubble on his chin and thought hard.Mingji and I looked at each other, thinking deeply.Mingji suddenly said: "Zeng Zhiwei?" "Yes! Yes!" The lamas smiled. Saying goodbye to them, Mingji and I walked on the roof, trying to find those shadows left in our memory.However, human memory is so unreliable—it was only after revisiting the old place that we discovered that we were sitting on the third floor of the Jokhang Temple roof instead of the second floor five years ago.But we were still lucky to find the chairs we used to sit on together - although the long row of plastic chairs back then has been dismantled to only three. We sat there for a long, long time.Watch the prayer flags fluttering with the wind, and see the clouds rolling and relaxing in the sky.Over the years, I have been a guest in a foreign land, and I have been in the field of Confucius. I am exhausted physically and mentally. Therefore, I always deliberately avoid nostalgia. It has been a long time since I have thought about everything that happened in Tibet. However, the roof of the Jokhang Temple is like a time machine. I brought back to the place five years ago, my heart beat faster and my mind was in a trance. I feel like it was just yesterday.I was sitting on this chair that evening, the golden dome on the opposite side shone brightly in the setting sun, and the clouds in the sky were white and plump...I didn’t expect it, I didn’t expect that every bit of Tibet had been occupying a corner of my thoughts five years ago .I thought these fragments of memory had no life, but I was wrong, they are always alive, living in the mysterious life I gave them.In fact, a person always lives with the things around him. At a certain stage of life, we forget these things and a part of ourselves in a corner of the world.However, one day, we accidentally saw these things again, and they suddenly appeared in front of us, and the great power of reality illuminated the past like a lightning bolt, and we were resurrected along with it. I stared at my old self in shock.God, I almost don't know her anymore... She is impulsive and innocent, like an accident that could happen at any time; her experience is a blank slate, she knows nothing about the world, but loves to dream Good at imagining, she is preparing to sail in the "seven seas and thirteen rivers in the fairy world"; she lives under the bright hope of immortality, and her dream is as close and real as the golden dome of Jokhang Temple... If she opened the door of time and walked towards me at this moment, she would probably just pass me by, and would not be able to recognize this most familiar stranger who is so sophisticated. At that moment, I suddenly understood what was going on with that "something is wrong" feeling. This "wrong" feeling has haunted me for days.Let me think about it, where should I start? In my opinion, that little wedding in England in 2004 was more like a ceremony of alliance, two people who were originally lone rangers finally decided to fight side by side and resist the mediocrity of life together.After we got married, we plunged into the vast and boundless adult world. We usually work hard to make money, go shopping, visit parks, watch exhibitions and meet with friends on weekends, and fly around the world when we have holidays, and record all this lively in the blog.I don't love my job, but I'm also deeply grateful for the comfortable life it brings.In my spare time, I work hard to read and write, maybe to prove that I have not been swallowed up by the commercial society?This kind of life not only lasts for several years, but also gradually develops a momentum that lasts forever, and it can be seen decades later at a glance.Readers of blogs often write to envy our life, and I always try to convince myself: content yourself!People say that you are living a happy life that is healthy, reasonable, conducive to social relaxation, and steady flow! Yet something was wrong. "Could this be the legendary midlife crisis?" When commuting in a sardine-like London subway car, looking at the faces around me with the same expressionless faces as mine, my heart was numb as if I had lost my mind. Perception, "But I'm not middle-aged yet, right?..." Or maybe I just don't want to admit it.It was not until I saw myself clearly on the roof of the Jokhang Temple that I was finally able to bravely say the words that were pressed in my heart—— You are lost in the adult world. Higher education, a good job with secular standards and a happy life in the middle class, these things are like Zhu Bajie's pearl shirt, which makes me fascinated by its dazzling brilliance and unknowingly bound by it.It keeps tempting and spurring me: Do you know how much others envy you?Go learn from your colleagues!Invest, save, join a pension plan, buy life insurance, travel abroad twice a year, buy a big house, have two or three kids... Gradually, everything changed.People around are praising designer bags, sports cars, yachts, membership clubs and five-star hotels in unison.Faith in material things trumps poetry, and dreams are unrealistic manifestations.I lost the daring vigor and vitality that I once had, and I grew into a quiet adult, and my world eventually became theirs.It was here and now that I finally understood that all my previous gestures were self-deception—no, I had not successfully resisted the mediocrity of life at all.Worse than that, it turned me into a mediocre human being in turn. "What?" I suddenly woke up like a dream, "I just signed an employment contract back then, but I didn't sign it to completely change my life!" When I was a child, I read "John Christophe", and I was deeply impressed by a sentence in it, but I didn't understand it -- "Most people die in their twenties and thirties, because after this age, they are only their own shadows. , and then spend the rest of their lives in imitation of themselves, day after day, repeating more mechanically and more pretentiously what they did, thought and thought, loved and hated in their lifetime." Now I get it.Began to be afraid.The fear of death seized me—the death of the spirit and the ideal. Fortunately, fortunately, I am not too old, there is still the possibility of change; fortunately, the soul does not die, but is silent. There was a sound of "cha", as if someone struck a match in my heart, illuminating the dusty original heart and dream for a long time.An idea came up during the days when I returned to Tibet. At first, it was just a faint candlelight, and finally it burned into a raging fire. Everyone seems to love Tibet.I don't know why for others, but for me personally, it contains a part of me, and I contain a part of it.Tibet has a sincere and open temperament, which can make me involuntarily remove all disguises, throw away the shackles of "other people's eyes", and have an in-depth communication with my soul. When I left Lhasa in 2003, I wrote that "the trip to Tibet can change your outlook on life" and "the trip to Tibet made me a completely new person", but now I feel that everyone has their true colors deep in their hearts. It's just that through different opportunities and different methods, the things covering it are peeled off layer by layer, and finally the most authentic core is discovered. Shortly after returning to London from Tibet, I wrote an article on my blog titled "Gap Year" (Gap Year), the first time I combed my thoughts and revealed my heart.Then, after two years of preparation, Mingji and I finally took that step—quit our jobs, quit our house, and started our gap year travels in Latin America and Asia.This kind of long-distance travel has always been a dream buried in my heart. I also hope to know the world, the people living in this world, and myself through it.And my faith is simple—as long as I keep looking at something bigger than myself, I know I'll get there. In fact, the resignation trip was originally my own idea.I know that Mingji likes his job and has a relaxed mind. He doesn't have as many "frivolous intestines" as I do, and he is quite satisfied with life.But he has always seen my confusion and understood my thoughts. When I first revealed to him the idea of ​​resigning and traveling, he immediately supported him unconditionally without saying a word: "Let's go! Let's go together!"— — This guy's tone is as relaxed as if he was talking about going to a movie together. I forgot where I saw this sentence: If someone can understand you, even staying in the room with you will be like traveling on the road to the world.How lucky I am to have someone who understands me and is willing to travel with me in the real world. On May 9, 2011, two people who met on the road finally went on the road together again. The actual prototype was just a booklet that I handmade and gave to friends at our UK wedding as gifts.The night before the wedding, we were still busy with printing and binding, and we didn’t go to bed until four or five o’clock... Later, I uploaded it to the blog of MSN Space to share, and got a chance by the recommendation of Hecaitou blog The Opportunity was published as a book in May 2008. However, 2008 was really an eventful year: the election of Obama, the snow disaster in the south, the Lhasa 314 incident, the Wenchuan earthquake, the Beijing Olympics, tainted milk powder, the financial crisis... Under the bombardment of this series of "explosive" events, and because we have been in the Living abroad without any promotional activities specially arranged for the new book, the small matter of publishing and distribution is quickly drowned out (in fact, it may not even be considered an "event" strictly speaking).Although it was published silently, it spread out by word of mouth in such a primitive way.Before the book was published, we were a little worried about whether our story was too conventional and too thin. We didn't let go of our worries until the book accumulated a lot of feedback from readers. Although the book has been published, in fact this story has not really ended - the five-year agreement made on the roof of the Jokhang Temple.Before and after the publication, many people were inspired by our stories and went to Tibet. These people include readers who have never met, our good friends, and my father-in-law and mother-in-law.Maybe they once planned to take this little book to find their own happiness in Tibet, or just wanted to follow our footsteps: Balang School, Mount Everest, Baiju Temple, Maji Ami, Jokhang Temple... Seeing that 2008 is about to pass, do we want to watch ourselves become a person who broke his promise? On December 26, 2008, the plane landed at Beijing Capital International Airport.After getting off the airport bus, we dragged our suitcases to the train ticket pre-sale point of Beijing Railway Station and bought two train tickets departing from Beijing West Railway Station to Lhasa the next night.From the tortuous route of Lhasa-Dali-Shenzhen-Beijing-Hong Kong-London five years ago, to the current direct route of London-Beijing-Lhasa, when others enjoy the sunshine and beach vacation in the Indian Ocean or the Caribbean Sea, we choose From one cold place to another colder place.Our idea is very simple, just to fulfill a promise made five years ago.The two of us's love for this land has not been weakened by the certain relationship, but has become more determined. After bidding farewell to Pharaoh who saw us off, we boarded the train from Beijing to Lhasa with the same luggage as before.The construction of the Qinghai-Tibet Railway a few years ago promoted my first trip to Tibet, but now this means of transportation, which I once regarded as a "scourge", truly brought me to Tibet again.There are very few tourists entering Tibet in winter. After passing Golmud Station, only the two of us, a Tibetan grandmother and the train conductor were left in our carriage.经过四十多个小时的车程和数顿方便面，列车最终驶进了簇新的拉萨火车站。 一直听说拉萨的冬天没有想象中冷，说什么高原的阳光很温暖，白天气温可以达到十几摄氏度等等，可我们刚搬到青年旅舍位于一楼的房间就觉得特别阴冷，然后用手摸摸房间的床、被子、桌子、凳子等等，都是冰凉的。睡觉前好不容易要来了电热毯，我们尽量把手脚放在被子里面暖和的地方，因为被子外面的地方摸上去基本上都像冰块一样，就连枕头旁边的手表也好像刚刚从冰箱里拿出来一般。当天晚上，倒时差、高原反应和感冒导致我一夜失眠。在英国住惯了有暖气的房子也让我这个南方人抵御寒冷的能力大大下降了。第二天早上我们决定要搬去有暖气的地方。还好因为是淡季的关系所以旅馆的打折优惠幅度也蛮大，我的噩梦也随着搬到大昭寺广场附近的一家有暖气的旅馆而结束。 五年前因为修下水道的关系，八廊街被弄得支离破碎，这一次我们终于有机会把这个转经道完整地转了一遍。除了大昭寺以外，这次八廊街上我们能辨认出来的只有新华书店和玛吉阿米。因为冬季是西藏的旅游淡季，八廊街两边的摊贩卖的都是藏族人的生活必需品。来这边的藏族人不是朝圣就是来办年货的，感觉冬天的拉萨才是更加真实的拉萨。 从上一次离开西藏时不确定的关系到现在已经共结连理，我们的心情也是从无奈转变成温馨。虽然这一次我们没有再次入住八朗学旅馆，但还是怀着无比期待的心情前往这个我们相知相遇的地方。北京东路上的商店已经焕然一新：我曾经租过睡袋去珠峰的outlook cafe已经不见了，取而代之的是一家一家的酒吧。从亚宾馆一路走过来，经过吉日旅馆，来到八朗学。我看见八朗学对面的一排楼都因为被火烧过而拆掉了，我们当年的“八朗学食堂”肥姐饭店也已经不复存在。在靠近街道的前排一楼，以前常常跟阿明他们一伙人去聊天喝甜茶的昏暗小馆已经变成了杂货小店。 最后我们在八朗学的大门前停下，这是我们五年前在西藏分别的地点——那个超长的拥抱发生的地方。在冬天这个几乎没有游客的旅游淡季，这里显得特别安静。告示板上贴着的已经是几个月以前的拼车信息了。这里的变化极少，除了301房间下面的二楼扩建了一个小房间以外基本上没多大改变。从那道又窄又陡的楼梯照样可以爬到三楼的走廊，爬到那时候我们聚会聊天的地方。对面天台的咖啡座就是我和平客、阿明常常喝咖啡、晒太阳和聊天的地方。可惜的是当年在西藏认识的朋友们现在已经各奔东西，只剩下我们两个在故地重游。 五年间，我们结婚了，青藏铁路通车了，拉萨也在这一年成为了新闻焦点。最后，我们兑现了承诺回到拉萨。虽然这个城市也变得紧张起来，路上多了很多维持秩序的警察和军人，可是当我们走过八廊街，走进大昭寺，跟着那些虔诚的藏族人一起转经时，那种似曾相识的感觉又回来了。在这里，空气是那么稀薄，天空是那么近，一切都是那么美好。 如果不是事先在网上查好地图研究了半天，这一家隐藏在小胡同里的咖啡店是很难被发现的。风转咖啡馆（Spinn Cafe），老板是香港人阿刚和他的泰国朋友小平。阿刚在泰国旅行的时候认识了小平，两人一见如故，成为好友。有一天这两人突发奇想，决定从泰国骑自行车到拉萨定居然后开一家咖啡店，风转咖啡馆于是就这样出现在拉萨老城区的一个角落了。 阿刚在网上又名薯伯伯、Pazu，常常活跃在一些旅游论坛，为大家解答有关西藏旅游的各种疑问。很多年前，我就已经在追看他的亚洲游记，他的足迹遍布中国、尼泊尔、印度、巴基斯坦甚至阿富汗。游记中关于西藏的部分，让我产生了巨大的兴趣，也可以说是它们启发了我后来的西藏之旅。其中印象比较深刻的是他如何在青藏线上绕过检查站成功“偷渡”进入西藏（那时候香港同胞去西藏旅游还需要入藏手续），还有在印度鹿野苑住在日本寺庙的经历。这一次我们来到拉萨时刚好他也在这里过冬，让我有机会可以拜访一下这位“同乡”。 当我们来到风转咖啡馆时，碰巧阿刚不在店里，店里的服务生说他刚刚出去办事，更可惜的是小平也因为有事暂时回了泰国。咖啡馆虽然地方不大，但是装修让人感觉很温暖，吧台前面贴满了各种杂志对咖啡馆的采访。过了不久阿刚回到店里，客人不多的时候我们便开始聊了起来。原来咖啡店已经开业一年多，他跟我们娓娓道来他和小平一手把咖啡店建立起来的种种困难，不过还好现在咖啡店的业务已经上了轨道（后来连《孤独星球》也推荐了这家店）。不聊不知道，越聊越投机，等我们混熟了之后每次见面总是以互相挖苦开始，常常聊到深更半夜才说再见。 从此风转咖啡馆便成为了我们在拉萨的落脚点，差不多每天我们都会去店里面坐坐，喝喝风转“独家”的柠檬特饮和越南滴漏咖啡。在公历新年倒数的时候，擅长搞气氛的阿刚在踏入新年的那一刻带领大家同唱粤语歌《财神到》，虽然有点无厘头，但是大家都玩得很尽兴。有时候我们会吃着爆米花看阿刚表演出神入化的魔术，又或是看拿着啤酒瓶充当麦克风的他载歌载舞地献唱张国荣的《Monica》。除了跟我们说他在拉萨生活的趣事，阿刚还带我们到仓姑寺喝甜茶，吃藏式咖喱饭，晚上去串串王吃夜宵……来风转咖啡馆的顾客里面有不少是拉萨本地的藏族人，于是我们又认识了一些藏族朋友，当中包括他们店里的服务生央宗和拉珍，藏族美女阿古兰姿和曾经是风转咖啡馆店长的卓嘎姐。 我在阿刚身上看到了另一种生活方式：一种随心所欲、完全不受世俗约束的生活方式。跟大部分留在西藏的外地人不同，他留在拉萨完全不是为了金钱、装酷，或者在逃避什么，他努力学习西藏文化，用藏语和当地人沟通，广结善缘的他走在大街上也不断有人跟他打招呼、握手。他留在西藏的原因很简单，只是因为喜欢这里，喜欢这里的人和事，并竭尽全力与当地融为一体。 我们已经在英国循规蹈矩地生活了五年多，除了假期旅游的时间外基本上都不属于自己。阿刚这种生活确实让我羡慕，也让我不禁问自己：我想要的是一种怎么样的生活方式？到底去哪里、做什么才是我最想要的？ 从西藏回来后，我们的生活再次陷入低落的状态。这个故事教训我们：假期过得有多high，回来以后重新回到办公桌前就有多depressed（失落）。除了在网上看看机票，计划下一个假期目的地这种治标不治本的方法以外，没有什么可以从实质上舒缓英国冬天的阴霾天气所带来的失落。 就在这个时候，傅真向我提出了间隔年的想法，希望我们可以暂时放下工作，按照自己的意愿去旅行一段时间。我对她提出这个想法丝毫不感到诧异，因为一直以来她的工作对于她就好像鸡肋一样，不怎么喜欢，但是因为丰厚的回报又不想轻易放弃。而经过2008年的金融危机以后，社会上对这个“万恶”的行当积攒了极大的怨气，一夜间投资银行家从社会精英变成了过街老鼠，人人喊打。所以这份工作不但压抑了她天性里的自由和活泼，就连在道德上也无法带给她满足感。 相对来说，我对现状确实没有什么不满：一份还算满意的工作，住着一个不错的房子，一年25天的带薪年假。眼看身边的朋友已经在英国买了房子，生了小孩，但我深知自己对这种一眼就能看到头的生活还没有准备好。原本我们就没有在英国长期居住的计划，只希望能在这边累积一些工作经验以后就回国定居。伦敦是我们很喜欢的城市，可是我们也早就知道终有一天会和它说再见。在离开英国和回国定居之间，间隔年确实是一个非常好的过渡，我们俩本就都热爱旅行，间隔年可以让我们在再次回归正轨之前好好疯狂一下，也顺便利用这段时间认真想想自己到底喜欢什么样的人生。为了能走更远看更多地方，我们暂时放下了回国后先去农村支教的计划，改成在间隔年期间当短期的志愿者。 2002年离开香港到南京工作，后来去了英国的普利茅斯，接着又搬到伦敦，我仿佛已经习惯了这种四处漂泊的生活模式。很难分辨是我不安分的性格造就了这种生活模式，还是这种生活模式造就了我的性格。现在我强烈地感觉到我骨子里面不老实的基因，完全被傅真的间隔年提议唤醒了。 从决定“出走”到实行计划的两年是一个漫长的煎熬期，尤其是在经济和家人的谅解这两方面的顾虑比较多。投资银行工作很辛苦，有时候傅真上班时受到的压力太大，回家后会忍不住哭出来，我真的很想跟她说：不要管那么多了，我们明天就走！可我是一个百分之九十九理智加百分之一感性的人，我只能边安慰她边对自己说：“The best is yet to come（最好的还未到来）。” 在准备离开英国前的那几个星期，我们每天都在忙着购买旅行用品、收拾房子和打包准备海运回国的东西，可怜的睡眠时间被压榨得只剩下一点点，只能靠喝红牛来维持体力。等到我们对着空空如也的房间和已经打包好的18个纸箱的时候，我知道我们离梦想已经不远了。 2011年5月9日下午1点50分，伦敦飞往墨西哥城的航班起飞了。那一刻我们就好像同时按下了人生的重启键，共同翻开人生中崭新的一页。