Chapter 11 postscript

He is not dazzling at all, and he may not be found if he throws it into the crowd. But that beam of gentle light is exactly what I want most. Thank you, Fu, because of your existence, It makes me feel as relaxed and happy as going to the fairground and circus class every day when I go home. Mingji, who has a childish face that can deceive the masses, is about to have his thirtieth birthday.A few weeks ago, some of our friends mentioned this earth-shattering event when they sent boring emails during work hours. He protested weakly: "Don't do this...everyone is on the third day..." I hurriedly rowed with him Clearing the boundary line: "But you are running too fast, we can't catch up!"

In fact, it is only time itself that runs too fast.I always feel like we haven't grown up deep down.No, at least not after meeting each other. Getting married in your early twenties is absolutely uncommon in Western countries.Therefore, my colleagues are always curious about the love story between me and Mingji.They asked a lot, and I became impatient, so I simply said "I met in Tibet".But I underestimated the fiery gossip of the British people, and rumors gradually spread in the company—— "I heard that her husband is from Tibet..." "Can Tibetans speak Chinese?"

"...Maybe they communicate in English..." "Do Tibetans speak English?" ... I also often recall our first meeting in Tibet.That year Mingji was twenty-five years old, a taciturn young man with the face of a high school student, walking on the road with a big bag on his back, there were infinite possibilities in his life.He could have met a girl who was more beautiful, smarter, gentler, virtuous, and more understanding.But he unfortunately met me halfway.Old Fu, I was born out of nowhere, covering the sky with one hand, obliterating all the better possibilities in his life like a female bandit.

From then on, we walked side by side to the end of the world and saw all the flowers in Chang'an.From the Yarlung Zangbo River to the Thames River, the stars on the shore change, and the lights in the water change secretly.If you don't pay attention, the light boat has passed the Ten Thousand Mountains. One year after we got married, my good friend Lao Wang came to London to see me.I wandered around the city with him.On the cruise ship on the Thames, he suddenly looked at me thoughtfully: "Shouldn't married people have changed a lot? I said, why don't you seem to have changed at all?"

I froze in place, unable to speak for a long time.The scorching sun is above the head, but the dark tide is raging in the heart.It wasn't until that moment that I realized what kind of love I was experiencing.From the time I met Mingji, he always gave me enough personal space and never tried to change me.What he loves is me as a person, so that he silently tolerates all the bad things in me with an attitude of loving the house and the crow.From the indifferent and angular rebellious girl in Tibet to this nonsensical primary chatterbox, he has seen every hidden side of my character, but he still loves me unconditionally.I think anyone who has ever loved knows that this is by no means an easy thing to do.

It may be that I have read too many stories since I was a child. Even when I was a young girl, I almost never had any fantasies about "Prince Charming", because I know that white may be dyed, and the hair may be permed.I also don't believe that there is such a thing as a "popular lover" in this world. Since everyone is unique, the person who is most suitable for you must be the bear's paw and the arsenic of the second.Haruki Murakami wrote "Meet a 100% Girl". I think this statement is more reliable. That person may not be the most perfect, but for you, he is 100% that belongs only to you.Ever since I got to know Mingji, many people have asked me why I like him, and whether I have seen him shining in the crowd since the first time I met him.Please, Mingji is not a diamond.The Huahua World is crowded with people, he is not dazzling at all, and he may not be found if he is thrown into the crowd, but that beam of gentle light is exactly what I want most.Just like everyone hides in an air-conditioned room on a hot day, when I went out the door, I encountered a gust of drafts. This was a chance encounter and surprise that only belonged to me, so I am infinitely grateful.

Before Old Wang met Mingji, he once asked me to describe what kind of person Mingji was.At that time, I thought about it for a long time, and in the end, I could only write down the word "Modest Gentleman" which I think is the most appropriate.Mingji is a very pure person, not as simple as a glass of boiled water, but the kind of clarity left after slowly filtering out many things.He had a fresh mind, a liberal through and through, and would never be bought off by the little favors of life.This really won my heart, because I myself would rather be a tortoise wagging its head and tail freely in the muddy pond than a horse with unlimited scenery but bound by people.

I often wonder, what kind of magical corner of Mingji's heart is there that makes him so gentle, humble and carefree.I suspect he doesn't know what it's like to be "jealousy" because he doesn't seem to be jealous at all.In his opinion, money, power and beauty are not particularly attractive things. If he wants to say envy, he only envies the photojournalist of "National Geographic" magazine, who can travel mountains and rivers and combine work with entertainment.In terms of his attitude towards me, he is almost laissez-faire and never interferes, respects all my privacy, and has no machismo style at all.I think he has his own independent and complete spiritual world, where drinking and falling flowers, the wind and the sun are beautiful.The cattle and sheep are fine, and the common people play chess.

Because I am in the business of investment banking, most of my colleagues around me are first-class honorary graduates from famous universities, all of them are smart and eye-catching, but I can say without exaggeration that Mingji is the smartest person I have ever met .I still remember that when I first entered the company for training, there was a group activity that was to origami a boat according to the instructions.Sounds easy, but the reality is that the first person didn't get the hang of it until the 40th minute.I told him about this when I went home on the weekend, and when he was waiting for the traffic light, he folded the paper boat while looking at the instruction paper.The whole process took less than a minute!Until now, when I encounter problems at work that I don’t understand, I still often bring them home to discuss with him.He is an engineering student and has no understanding of finance, but his mind is really good. I can explain a few words to him and he will understand.Because of this, I often feel that the real smart people are actually buried among the people.And mediocre people like me just rely on a beautiful report card to do nothing day after day.

The first time I saw Mingji, I thought he was a person who could walk on the road forever.This is a person's innate temperament.Even in the city, he carries a compass with him, as if he is looking forward to a time travel at any time, which can be very useful in the Sahara desert.He is an out-and-out map madman. When Wikipedia launched the map function, I asked him: "Are you happy?" He turned his back to me and murmured to himself in a fiery tone: "You don't know me How excited I am now..." When I turned around, I saw that he was almost on the computer, almost drooling all over the keyboard.

He was also the first person I met who wanted to volunteer in Africa.This is exactly what I have always wanted, so I was really pleasantly surprised when I first heard it.Unlike some people who just talked about it, Ming Ji would actually go to the specific website to check. When he learned that he didn't want a civil engineer, his disappointment was beyond words.To be honest, I was really touched.In such a materialistic society, everyone is busy looking for ways of making money and striving to be the best. His wishful thinking is so precious.We have decided to go to the countryside to support education after returning to China in a few years. It is not a way to repay the society, but we just want to contribute a little bit to the future of the country. In the three years since we got married, except for a dispute about the shape of a soup dumpling, Mingji and I have almost never blushed.Of course, I also have dissatisfaction with him, for example, he always throws dirty clothes everywhere, for example, he can fall asleep and snore within three minutes as soon as he picks it up.Mingji is not as active in reading as I am. I used to think it was a little regret, because I could have had the pleasure of discussing the details and philosophies in the book with him, and I could also understand his thoughts and emotions better.However, I gradually discovered that his communication with the world was realized in other ways.The same beauty and tiny details can be seen in the photos he takes.Mingji, who is not good at verbal expression, conveyed his heart and feelings through the lens of the camera.When I saw the beauty of those shocking details, I also saw his emotional gaze behind the camera. The emotion was quiet and introverted, but equally powerful and deep. In TV programs, when interviewing couples, there is always a question - what is the thing he/she has done that moved you the most?This question is not easy for me to answer because there are so many answers to choose from.These few short years seem to be a condensed life. Looking back, there are countless mountains, countless waters, and countless emotions.I will think of the half bowl of instant noodles at the foot of Mount Everest back then, and I will also think of the silent gazes in front of Dali Station.I still remember the little bouquet of flowers I bought from the supermarket on Valentine's Day in those poor days, and I still remember my trembling and tears of terror when the London Underground exploded.I can see the tenderness in your eyes when you say "Let's get married", and I can hear the tremor in your voice when you say "Yes, I do" at the wedding.I remember you said to me "It's their loss if they don't want you" when I was at the most difficult and low point in my job search. I still remember that you flew here seven times in just half a year in New York... I miss the road we walked together, the sunset we watched together, the tears we shed together, and the dreams we had together. A friend once asked me, "How much do you really love him?" I said, "How to measure it? It can't be accurate to the length, width and height, right?" She said, "What if you were to take a bullet for him?" I replied almost without hesitation: "One sentence." After I finished speaking, I was suddenly taken aback.Isn't it said that people love only themselves?What is love in the end that makes us forget ourselves when we love and love? For a long time, countless female writers have told all girls from the experience of "experts" that being loved is happier than being in love.I used to think that this is the most ideal destination in love.But now I feel that people who hold this point of view either don't believe in love, or haven't really loved.Love is a unique spiritual phenomenon of human beings, and it is also the most noble emotion of human beings.When we have love in our hearts, we know for sure that we live in this world.Just to be loved without loving others, happiness may be, happiness may not be. In the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", the hero Li Mubai said: "Close your fist, there is nothing inside. Open your hands, and you have the whole world." So is love. The universe is prehistoric, the world is vast, everyone chooses what to choose, I am in love. Well, today I'm going to write a big reveal about Fu Zhen's life.Fans of Lao Fu must be mentally prepared, because she may not be what you imagined in my eyes. She was unrestrained and unrestrained in Tibet back then, but now she is a married woman. However, Lao Fu doesn't (knows and doesn't want to) cook, and doesn't like to do housework, and finally took on the heavy responsibility of washing clothes under my coercion and lure.We don't take the initiative to clean the dishes after eating, so the dining table and kitchen sink at home are often full of dishes.Finally, when I can't bear it anymore (mainly when there are no bowls to cook), I will yell: "If you don't wash the dishes, there will be no food today." Then, Lao Fu will obediently accompany me Wash the dishes. (Old Fu may cry out that she is wronged, because occasionally when I am not at home, she will complete this difficult task independently.) Whenever I am hard at cooking or mopping the floor, I always ask her to dance beside me for fun , and she would be more than happy to pull out all the stops to entertain me.She also often laughs at herself as a "life idiot" because she doesn't care about trivial matters at home. (However, she later lived alone in New York for six months.) After we got married, neither of us seemed to have matured, but instead had a tendency to "rejuvenate".Everything in the house is "live".Everything, such as fruit and cars, has the potential to "speak".Of course, the dubbing is all done by the two of us, and sometimes one person can play multiple roles.Among them is a "dog" who is our favorite.Sometimes it is very cute, but sometimes it is very "cheap".It knows how to "fly" and "kick", it can drive a "dog cart", and it can also do "dog work" to earn "dog pounds".Every guest who comes to our house loves it. She is a "bookworm", whenever she sees a good article, she has to read it to me.Although I generally can't make a level response, but Lao Fu will tirelessly explain it to me. She loves to act, and she has a lot of expressions.So she often mutters to herself, saying that it is a waste of her talent if no one asks her to act.Maybe she's too big-brained, so she's a little less cerebellar--keeps things over, stumbles and bruises all over her body.Sometimes, Lao Fu would like to head butt people like an animal, like a rhinoceros, and even pretend to bite people. The real zodiac sign is Taurus (according to her own so-called mad cow), her major is financial management, and her job is also related to finance.However, she is not very sensitive to the concept of money.If people ask her about investing, she looks blank.As long as she likes something, no matter it is cheap or expensive, she will think it is a treasure.Those so-called famous brands are just a brand to her, and she even thinks those bags with brand patterns are too vulgar.I remember once I just said that I liked a certain brand of jacket casually, but within a week she bought that jacket and gave it to me.At that time, she was only a student, and a coat had already cost her half a month's living expenses. (I don’t know how she spent the remaining half month.) When we first moved to London after we got married, it was a rough time.The standard of living in London is so high that we can only afford a tiny unit where the living room and bedroom are in the same room where you eat, watch TV, surf the internet and sleep.The room is an extension so it is very cold in winter.Coupled with the fact that water heaters are often out of order, the lack of hot water and heat is just another disaster.Later, rats were found in the room, which made us feel like a snake and had a nervous breakdown.Finally, one morning, we found this nasty guy in the kitchen sink. The brave old man immediately picked up a bowl to cover it, and then I quickly wrapped it in a plastic bag with the bowl and threw it away Go outside the house.Although there are many problems in the house, we still feel very satisfied that we don't need to share with others, because this way we can feel "home". Strictly speaking, we never had an argument.Generally, if there are any differences of opinion, we can quickly reach a consensus.The closest thing to a quarrel is to argue about "is the shape of Xiaolongbao and Xiaolongtangbao the same?" You need to find it out from the map yourself). I lost my camera that I bought a few months ago on the train when we were traveling to Portugal.Not only did she not complain for half a word, but she patiently accompanied me back to look for it.In the next few days, she kept comforting me, fearing that I would feel sad.Fortunately, we are all optimistic people by nature. This small mistake did not affect our travel mood at all. She is the most special girl I've ever seen—independent, thoughtful, unpretentious, and not squeamish. This feeling has not changed since Tibet until now. I still remember when I was in Dali, I said to her: "Why did you choose me? You are so special, but I am such an ordinary person." Her literary and artistic accomplishment, for me who grew up in the cultural desert of Hong Kong There is a great shock.At that time, I suffered a little setback in life, so I was not very confident in my personality.Later, she gave me a lot of confidence in words and actions.She would introduce me to good-looking books, support me to study more about my favorite photography, and ask me to pay more attention to my image and not allow me to be too slovenly.I am no longer the self-deprecating me I was back then, because I have "grown up" again with her support and encouragement. Although my words are not enough to express my thoughts, I still want to say to her, thank you, old man, because of your existence, I feel as relaxed and happy as going to an amusement park and a circus class every day when I go home.