Chapter 56 manpower and destiny

manpower and destiny Feng Tang People of our generation have been educated since childhood to believe in the party, the chairman, ourselves, and communism, but not in gods, ghosts, authority, or destiny.To sum it up, the pen makes up for the good fortune of the sky, how bold people are, how productive the land is, I want to surpass the British in three years, I will surpass the British in three years, I want to catch up with the United States in five years, and I want to catch up with the classroom next door. If my classmate is good, I can be good with Banhua. If I want to be good with Chen Chong and Liu Xiaoqing on the screen, I can be good with Chen Chong and Liu Xiaoqing.On the contrary, those who promote the Mandate of Heaven have ulterior motives. For example, the emperor's claim to be the Son of Heaven is to make others think that the world belongs to him, and no one should argue with him.I asked, when the people's hearts dream and work hard, the country will surpass Britain and catch up with the United States. Isn't that idealism?Isn't our belief a materialism of seeking truth from facts?The teacher said that the idealism of the proletariat is materialism, and the materialism of the bourgeoisie is also idealism.I asked, if I miss Banhua, Chen Chong and Liu Xiaoqing, they are mine, and I will become Ah Q, am I just obsessive?The teacher said, ask your parents to come tomorrow, I want to talk to them, your thinking is problematic, complicated, and obscene.

Under this kind of education, my self-confidence has skyrocketed. Looking at the world, I feel that I have a lot to do. Looking at the future, I feel that my life is in my hands, like a chicken, like a piece of clay, I can do whatever I want Pinch, how to plan how to plan. I have thirty notebooks, large and small, from the fifth grade of elementary school to the age of thirty, which are locked in my safe and are valued more than deposits.I went back to read my diary in the first grade of junior high school, and I was terrified.On the inside page, along the time axis, I drew three gradually rising planes, representing the short-term, medium-term, and long-term respectively, which are almost identical to the growth syllogism taught by McKinsey later.

My first program guided by the growth syllogism was Mastery of Ancient Chinese.At that time, my short-term goal was to finish reading four volumes of "Ancient Chinese" by Wang Li in the first year of senior high school. .At that time, I was ignorant of world affairs, had no concept of time, and had no concept of the temptation of eating, drinking and having fun in the outside world. I thought I could read all the books in the world, and my long-term goal was ten years.I thought, thirty to forty minutes, one roll a day, easy to take.Now after twenty years, less than one-third of the long-term goal has been completed, and 90% of the completed one-third has basically been forgotten.You can only comfort yourself that history has its own laws. After reading one-third of it, you will know 80% of the laws of history. It is inevitable to forget, but the truth is in your stomach, just like eating meat. Drinking alcohol, excreting excrement and urine, leaving lotus flowers and Buddha in my heart.

The second project under the guidance of the growth syllogism is to approach the class flower with the best temperament in the class.At that time, I thought that my temperament was good, but my skin was actually fair.Banhua's face is like a white board, and his arms are like white radish.My short-term goal is to transfer from the fifth group to the third group, so that I can be in the same row with Banhua who is sitting in the second group.The medium-term goal is to grow 15 centimeters a year, so there is a legitimate reason to ask to be transferred to the back row, and have the opportunity to sit at the same table with the tall class flowers.The long-term goal is to touch Banhua's arm like a white radish. As for what happens after I touch it, what can I gain and what will Banhua lose? Can't think clearly.Later, I was successfully transferred to the third group. I grew 13.5 centimeters in one year, and there were stretch marks similar to stretch marks on the back of my waist. I finally learned "Physical Hygiene", but the one who touched the white radish Long-term goals have never been achieved.

However, in the few years since I turned 30, several things in reality have educated me well, telling me that the mountains are high and the land is far away, and the universe is prehistoric. When I look up at the blue sky again, I begin to doubt the existence of life. First is life.For the second time in fourteen consecutive days, I dreamed of the image of very white flowers. In the valley in the dream, white mountain flowers were blooming.Many years ago, after I dreamed of her for the first time in a row for fourteen days, I went to tell her, and she said that she had dreamed of me too, but it was too unreal, and it was better to forget each other, and if we could forget, each other dreamed Seeing is false, and being apart is happiness.After the second time, I called her, and she said that she still had a dream, but she already had a husband, and the early pregnancy test was positive today, and she felt like a daughter, so we must not forget each other, and we must forget.I told my current wife that after finishing my studies in the United States, I want to go back to China. There is no mahjong or decent chili in the United States.My wife said, okay, I heard that there are too many good-looking girls in Beijing and Shanghai, let's get married first and then go back.I said, ok, but I have a complicated past.My wife said, don't pretend to be an old hunter with two dead rats tied around your waist.I said, okay.So we went to the city hall to get a marriage license, and went to the lawyer's office to ask an obscene lawyer to preside over the marriage registration.During the whole process, my mind was clear and peaceful, without any thinking or planning. I just felt that this was an undisputed thing that should be done. After one o'clock in the afternoon, I was not hungry.

Writing again.Before the college entrance examination, I wrote a long novel, which recorded my obsession with Banhua. All the plots of the story came out of obsession, and all the thoughts were true.I wrote more than 300 pages of 130,000 characters, 400 characters per sheet, and then sent it to a magazine called "Literature for Middle School Students", and then that magazine closed down.After that, I forgot about the code word for ten years. After dreaming of Banhua for the second consecutive 14 days, after Banhua said that the early pregnancy test paper test was positive, my fingers started to jump.I turned on the computer, and the words flowed down the water, along the arms to the fingers, and then jumped from the fingers to the keyboard and the screen, like small fish and shrimps. Then the sky darkened, and the pond on the screen was rained down.I think, what cannot be forgotten is fate, and what must be written is responsibility and mission.

Muhammad and the believers said that he could make the mountain come to him, shouted three times, the mountain couldn't fucking come over, and Mohammed walked over.My wife is my life, and writing is my life. If they don't come to me, I will walk over with flowers, rings and laptops. Is this the so-called acceptance of fate?