Chapter 7 The fourth letter: This is how four years of college should be spent

introduction After the "Kaifu Student Net" opened in June 2004, more and more students raised various questions online.I found that, in addition to the questions I have discussed in the first three letters, the most frequently asked and concerned topics are mainly related to the four years of university study and life.For example: How can I learn English well?What should I do if I wasted my time?When you graduate, do you choose to go abroad or choose to work?How to learn professional courses well?What if you don't like your major?etc. Also, during that time, I had the opportunity to attend some of the Ministry of Education seminars or something like that.Through contact with more teachers and students, I gradually discovered that Chinese students have many problems in learning methods when they study computer science.For example, when studying computer courses, many students only regard the course content as the knowledge in books, and rarely think of connecting with reality and using classroom knowledge to solve practical problems.In addition, some students only pay attention to knowledge directly related to employment, such as specific languages, platforms, etc., but do not pay attention to basic knowledge that can really exercise and improve personal abilities, such as mathematics, algorithms, data structures, etc.

Based on these considerations, I think it is necessary for me to write a letter to college students discussing learning methods, introducing learning experience, and guiding everyone to pass through college smoothly. This is the origin of "The Fourth Letter". After the letter was written, I asked a very good college student I knew to read it and make comments.After reading it, he said to me: "Teacher Kaifu, I think what you said in this letter is the most obvious principles and methods, which any qualified student should understand. Do you think it is really necessary Do you repeatedly emphasize these things that everyone knows or understands in the article?" I thought for a while, and then said to him: "Actually, many students may know these things, but only some students can consciously practice them in the four years of college. , other students will always lack the perseverance and courage to put these principles and methods into practice for one reason or another. I use my real feelings and personal experience to emphasize the importance of these principles and methods again, which can not only deepen Students’ understanding and understanding of them can also send the most sincere encouragement to those who lack courage and perseverance!”

Sure enough, after the "Fourth Letter" was published in "China Youth Daily", "University Student" magazine, "China Youth" magazine and other media, countless students who were moved by the content of the letter sent emails or messages full of gratitude, Or take the initiative to participate in discussions on learning methods on the forum of "Kaifu Student Network".Someone even told me that a mother had copied every letter of mine and sent it to her children. This kind of thing touched me very much and strengthened my determination to continue writing letters for the majority of young students. .

Today, I answered the 1000th question since the opening of "Kaifu Student Network".After turning off the computer, there is always a student letter lingering in my mind, lingering: Teacher Kaifu: I'm about to graduate. Looking back at my so-called college life, I want to cry, not because of parting, but because I haven't learned anything. I don't know how to write a resume. If it used to be, I would leave it blank. Perhaps the biggest takeaway is... patience and adaptation to having nothing... This letter expressed the aspirations of many junior and senior students.During college, many students indulged themselves and wasted their time, and many students still couldn't find the right direction of study.When they were awakened by the first re-examination notice, when they received the first rejection letter from the applicant company, these students were surprised to find that their future was so bleak, and it seemed too late for all efforts...

This "fourth letter" is written to those college students who hope to wake up from ignorance earlier, those college students who have never snooze and hope to control their own future and destiny, and those future college students who are about to enter the threshold of college.In this letter, I would like to say to all my classmates: University is the most critical stage in one's life.From the first day of enrollment, you should have a correct understanding and plan for the four years of university.In order to enjoy the greatest happiness in learning and to find your favorite job when you graduate, every person who just enters the university campus should master seven learning items: learning the way of self-study, basic knowledge, practice penetration, cultivating interest, Be proactive, take control of your time, and be human.As long as these seven points are done well, the biggest gain for college students when they graduate will never be "the patience and adaptation to nothing", but "the confidence and desire to have everything".As long as you do these seven points well, you can become a happy graduate with potential, thoughtfulness, value, and future.

University: the key to life University is a critical stage in life.This is because entering university is the first time in your life to let go of the burden of the college entrance examination and start chasing your ideals and interests.This is the first time you have left your family life and participated independently in group and social life.This is the first time that instead of simply learning or memorizing theoretical knowledge from books, you have the opportunity to practice while learning theory.This is the first time that you no longer let your parents arrange everything in your life and study, but you have enough freedom to deal with all kinds of problems you encounter in life and study, and control all your own time.

University is a critical stage in life.This is because, for the last time in your life, you will have the chance to be educated systematically.This is the last time you can devote yourself to building your knowledge base.This may be the last time in your life where you can spend a lot of time learning, and it may also be the last time you can have a high degree of plasticity and a growth process that can constantly correct yourself.This may be the last time you can be in a relatively tolerant, ideal environment in which to learn how to behave. University is a critical stage in life.At this stage, all college students should carefully grasp every "first time" and make them the cornerstone of their future life; at this stage, all college students should also cherish every "last time" It will be too late to regret in the distant future.In the four years of college, everyone should work hard to weave their own dreams, clarify their own direction, and lay their own foundation.

We can use the following figure to describe the status and value of four years of university in a person's life: We can see that university is the time when learning ability changes the most in one's life, and it is an important period to connect the two stages of "basic learning" and "entering society".Therefore, in the four years of college, we must work hard to cultivate our learning ability, improve our learning realm, and make ourselves a person who is good at lifelong learning. Everyone has only one time in four years of college, and four years of college should be spent like this...

The way of self-teaching: from drawing inferences from one instance to self-teaching I remember when I was a teaching assistant at Columbia University, a parent of a Chinese student complained to me: "What are you teaching in your university? My child has finished his sophomore computer science department, and he can't even use VisiCalc1." I replied at the time: "Computers are changing rapidly. We can't guarantee that any technology taught in college will still be relevant in five years, and we can't guarantee that students can learn every technology and tool. What we can guarantee is that, Your child will learn to think and learn how to learn so that no matter what new technology or tool comes five years from now, your child will be able to handle it with ease."

She then asked: "Learning the latest software is not education, so what is the essence of education?" I replied, "When we forget all that we have learned, what remains is the essence of education." What I said at the time came from the famous quote of educator BF Skinner.The so-called "what's left" is actually the ability of self-study, that is, the ability to draw inferences from one example or learn from others without a teacher.University is not a "vocational training class", but a platform for students to adapt to society and to different jobs.While in college, it is important to learn professional knowledge, but it is more important to learn how to think and develop the ability to draw inferences from one example. Only in this way can college graduates adapt to the rapidly changing world of the future.

In middle school, teachers would repeat the key elements of each lesson over and over again.But after entering university, teachers will only act as guides, and students must learn, explore and practice independently.After entering the workplace, self-learning ability becomes even more important.Microsoft once made a statistic: Among the knowledge content of every Microsoft employee, only about 10% is accumulated in the past study and work, and the rest of the knowledge is relearned after joining Microsoft.This data fully shows that it is difficult for a person who lacks self-learning ability to gain a foothold in a modern enterprise like Microsoft. Self-study ability must be developed during the university.Many students always complain that the teachers don't teach well, don't know much, and the school's curriculum is unreasonable.I usually advise these students: "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness".College students should not just follow the teacher's footsteps, but should take the initiative to walk in front of the teacher.For example, university teachers usually cover dozens of pages of information in textbooks in one class hour, and it is impossible to learn all the knowledge through listening to lectures in class.The best way to learn is to think through the relevant issues in the textbook before the teacher gives a lecture, and then make up for your own lack of understanding and understanding in class by comparing with the teacher's explanation. Middle school students are more pursuing "remembering" knowledge when learning knowledge, while college students should ask themselves to "understand" knowledge and be good at asking questions.For each knowledge point, you should ask a few more "why".Once you really understand the ins and outs of the theory or method, you can learn other knowledge by analogy, solve other problems, and even achieve the state of learning without a teacher. In fact, many problems have different thinking or observation angles.When learning knowledge or solving problems, don't always stick to a thinking mode, and don't let yourself be a slave to textbooks or experience.Only by daring to innovate in learning and being good at thinking about problems from a new perspective can students' potential thinking ability, creativity and learning ability be truly stimulated. "Book of Rites · Learning Book" says: "Learning alone without friends is lonely and ignorant."In other words, college students should make full use of the human resources in the school and absorb knowledge and methods from various channels.If you meet a good teacher, you can take the initiative to ask them for advice, or ask them to recommend some extracurricular reference books.In addition to senior professors, young teachers, doctoral students, master students and even their classmates are the best sources of knowledge and learning partners.Everyone has a different understanding and understanding of the problem. Only by helping and learning from each other can we make progress together. Some classmates once told me that they were very envious that I had a master who had won the Turing Award preach and teach me when I was studying.In fact, although I admire my teacher very much, he did not teach me much professional knowledge during college.He just pointed out the general direction for me, asked me to share his experience, provided me with research resources, and taught me how to be a human being.He has neither the time nor the need to instruct me in specific expertise.The professional knowledge I accumulated during college is all acquired through self-study.When I was just getting started, I asked my seniors for basic knowledge many times with a blushing face. I asked a lot of superficial questions during meetings and discussions. In my spare time, I also took the initiative to discuss and learn from my classmates. "Threesomes must have my teacher", college students are surrounded by good teachers and helpful friends.As long as we cherish these rare opportunities, ask questions boldly, and discuss frequently, we can learn the most useful knowledge and methods. College students should make full use of the library and the Internet, cultivate the ability of independent study and research, and prepare for future work or further study.First of all, in addition to studying the courses prescribed by the teacher, college students must learn to search for books and documents in order to get in touch with a wider range of knowledge and research results.For example, when we find a topic we are interested in in a class, we should actively go to the library to check relevant literature to understand the ins and outs of this topic and the current research trends.Using library resources proficiently and fully is one of the necessary skills for college students, especially those who are interested in scientific research.When reading, you should try to read as many English original textbooks as possible.Some original textbooks are written in a simple way, with a lot of examples, which are more suitable for self-study than Chinese textbooks.Secondly, in addition to books, the Internet is also a huge resource bank. College students can use search engines to find all kinds of information on the Internet. Since the opening of "Kaifu Student Network" half a year ago, I have found that many students do not have a good grasp of Internet search skills. Sometimes they can easily find the answers to their questions by simply searching them in a search engine.There are also some students who easily believe the rumors on the Internet, instead of using search engines to check and verify by themselves.In addition to search engines, there are many websites and communities on the Internet that are also good places to learn. When studying by yourself, don't be complacent just because you have met the requirements of the school, and don't think that it is enough for you to do well in your homework in college.In the 21st century, talent has become an international concept.When you are satisfied with your grades, I suggest you start self-studying some courses from top international universities.For example, the open courses of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have been released online for free. You may wish to take a look at MIT's online courses and do MIT's online test questions.When you can master MIT courses freely, you can face the challenges of internationalization more confidently. In short, being good at drawing inferences from one instance and learning to learn without a teacher is the best gift you can give yourself during the four years of college. Basic knowledge: mathematics, English, information technology, professional basic courses I once said that one of the great advantages of Chinese students is solid basic knowledge, such as mathematics and physics.However, in recent years, after witnessing many fast-track examples (such as Ding Lei, Chen Tianqiao, etc.), students are also eager to get on the fast track to success.This has gradually formed an impetuous atmosphere of pursuing quick success.Many college students dream of becoming "managers" and "bosses" immediately after graduation, and many college students directly choose "management" majors when they enter school, because they think that they can become managers of enterprises immediately after graduating from such majors .But after many students enter the management major, they find that they have no interest in the study of this major.In fact, the management major, like other majors, is a place to impart basic knowledge and basic methods. No major can guarantee that students will be able to take leadership positions upon graduation.No matter which major the students study, graduating from university is the real beginning of personal career.Students who want to be business leaders or management must also start from the grassroots. They must first learn how to behave in terms of character and lay a solid foundation in academics. If a university is a platform for learning and progress, then the foundation of this platform is the basic courses in the university.During college, students must learn the basics (mathematics, English, use of computers and the Internet, as well as basic courses required by the major, such as finance and economics courses in business schools).Today, with the rapid development of science and technology, many seemingly advanced technologies in the application field will be replaced by new technologies or tools in a few years.Only the learning of basic knowledge can be used for life.On the other hand, if a good foundation is not laid, it will be difficult for college students to truly understand advanced application technologies.Finally, in many Chinese universities, professors also have more experience teaching basic courses than state-of-the-art technologies. Mathematics is an essential foundation for science and engineering students.Many students think that mathematics is the most difficult thing to learn in high school. When they arrive at university, once they find that the major does not have high requirements for mathematics, they will completely relax their learning of mathematics knowledge, and they cannot see any practical application of mathematics knowledge. or job prospects.But everyone should not forget that the knowledge system of most science and engineering majors is built on the cornerstone of mathematics.For example, if you want to study computer engineering well, you must at least learn discrete mathematics (including set theory, graph theory, mathematical logic, etc.), linear algebra, probability statistics, and mathematical analysis; if you want to further study for a master's or doctoral degree in computer science , may also require higher mathematical literacy.At the same time, mathematics is also the crystallization of wisdom accumulated by human beings for thousands of years. Learning mathematics knowledge can cultivate and train people's thinking ability.Through the study of geometry, we can learn to use deduction and reasoning to prove and think; through learning probability and statistics, we can know how to avoid getting into the dead end of thinking and how to maximize the opportunities in front of us.Therefore, everyone must learn mathematics well with their heart, and not perfunctory.Learning mathematics should not be limited to taking multiple mathematics courses, but to know why you study mathematics, and to master the methods of cognition and thinking from the process of learning mathematics. The most important communication tool in the 21st century is English.Some students only learn English in order to pass CET-4 and CET-6, some students only learn English as a necessary skill for job hunting, and some even think that learning and using English is tantamount to fawning on foreigners.In fact, the fundamental purpose of learning English is to master an important learning and communication tool.In the next few decades, the world's most comprehensive news content, the most advanced ideas and the most profound technology, as well as the mutual communication between most intellectuals will be conducted in English.Therefore, learning English is crucial, unless you want to be an international disconnected person.In the software industry, not only programming languages ​​are designed based on English, but most important teaching materials, papers, reference materials, user manuals and other resources are also mostly written in English.Learning English is by no means the same as worshiping foreigners.China is heading towards the world. China needs to learn advanced western ideas and advanced science and technology. Only by learning English well can one be truly patriotic. Many Chinese students have good English test scores, and have passed CET-4, CET-6, and TOEFL with high scores. However, after studying in the United States, it is difficult to understand the course content in class, and it is even more difficult to communicate with foreign students.How should we learn English well?Since English is the most important communication tool, the most important learning method is to combine it with practice as much as possible. You can't just "learn" but not "use", and you can't just learn English by reciting.When studying, try to read the original professional textbooks (if your English is not good enough, you can start with the Chinese-English textbooks), and read some professional papers that you are interested in, which can improve your English and related professional knowledge. .Secondly, the best way to improve English listening and speaking ability is to directly talk with those foreigners who speak English as their native language.Now there are many foreigners studying and working in China. Many of them are willing to talk and communicate with Chinese students in order to learn Chinese. This is a good learning opportunity.In addition, don't take learning English as a chore, you can learn English in an interesting way.For example, you can read more dialogues or speeches by famous people, read more novels, plays or even comics.Beginners can find English original teaching programs and videos to learn, and those who have a certain foundation should watch English TV or movies.When watching an English movie, it is best to watch it with subtitles first, check the words in the test and get familiar with the sentence structure, and then watch it again without subtitles, just rely on your ears to listen.Listening to English radio is also a good way to practice English listening. It is best to spend half an hour to one hour every day listening to the radio and try to understand the content. If necessary, you can record it and listen to it repeatedly.There are also many interactive English learning websites on the Internet, where you can use games, self-tests, bilingual reading, etc. to improve your English.In short, being brave in practice and persevering is the only way to learn English. The information age has arrived, and college students' literacy in information science and information technology has become one of the necessary foundations for them to enter the society.Although not every college student needs to understand computer principles and programming knowledge, all college students should be able to use computers, the Internet, office software and search engines proficiently, and should be able to browse information and find professional knowledge on the Internet.In the 21st century, using computers and networks is as basic as using paper and pen.If you don't learn computers well, you won't be able to quickly and comprehensively obtain the knowledge or information you need. Finally, each specific major also has its own foundational courses.Taking computer science as an example, many college students are only keen to learn the latest languages, technologies, platforms, standards and tools, because many companies will require foundations or experience in these areas when recruiting.Although these new technologies should be learned, the study of basic computer courses is more important, because the development of languages ​​and platforms is changing with each passing day, but as long as you learn the basic courses (such as data structure, algorithm, compilation principle, computer principle, database principle, etc.) Inseparable from the original.A classmate vividly compared these basic courses to the internal skills of computer science, and compared new languages, technologies, platforms, standards and tools to external skills.Those students who only know how to pursue fashion only know the superficial aspects of moves, and without the accumulation of internal skills, it is impossible for them to become real masters. Although I always encourage everyone to pursue their own interests, I still need to emphasize here that there are some things in life that must be done even if they are not interesting.For example, laying a good foundation and learning mathematics, English and computer use are all things that must be done in this category.If you are interested in mathematics, English and computers, then you are lucky and can enjoy the fun of learning; but even if you are not interested, you must lay these foundations well.Laying the foundation is hard work, and if you don't want to endure hardships, you can't get a positive result. Practice penetration: "Only by doing can we really understand" When they were in high school, many students would ask the teacher "Why? What's the use?", and usually the answer given by the teacher was "Don't ask".After entering the university, the answer to these questions should be "don't ask".In college, students should understand how to combine the knowledge, theory, and methods of each subject with specific practice and application, especially for engineering students. There is a proverb about practice that goes like this: "I forget what I hear, remember what I see, and understand what I do." No matter what major or course we study, if we can practice hard in the study and achieve mastery, we can have a deeper understanding of the knowledge system and firmly remember the knowledge we have learned.Therefore, I suggest that students choose more professional courses related to practice.In practice, it is best to cooperate with several students. In this way, you can not only understand professional knowledge through practice, but also learn how to cooperate with others and cultivate team spirit.If you have the opportunity to do some practical projects under the teacher's hands, or go out of school to work, as long as it does not affect your studies, these practices are worth encouraging.When you go out to work or do projects, don't just focus on salary and benefits (unless life is really difficult). Sometimes, even if the salary is not satisfactory, there are many opportunities for training and practice, and we are worth a try. Taking computer science as an example, practical experience is essential for software development.Microsoft hopes that college graduates who apply for programmers should preferably have 100,000 lines of programming experience.The reason is simple: practical skills need to be improved in practice.In the final analysis, computer is a practical knowledge, and it will never be learned without hands.Therefore, the most important thing is not to get a high score in the written test, but to practice ability.However, in the process of communicating with Chinese students, I was surprised to find that students in the computer department of some schools in China still can't program when they are in their junior year.The teaching methods and curricula in these universities do need updating.If you happen to be studying in such a school, then you should seek opportunities for learning and practice from working part-time, self-study or surfing the Internet.Many practical projects can be found on the Internet, for example, a group of students who love programming have established a website to discuss software technology), in which they share their knowledge and practical experience, and have successfully held many activities (such as held in major universities Campus Technology Education Conference), also published books to help students improve technology and solve problems. Many members of this website have won the title of "Microsoft's Most Valuable Expert". Cultivate interests: broaden horizons and set ambitions Confucius said: "Those who know are not as good as those who are good, and those who are good are not as good as those who are happy." I have discussed in depth that happiness and interest are the keys to a person's success in "The Third Letter to Chinese Students".If you are passionate about a certain field, you have the possibility to realize your full potential in this field, even forgetting to eat and sleep for it.At this time, you are no longer studying for success, but for "enjoyment".In the "Third Letter", I also talked about how I gave up the law major that I was not interested in during college and entered the computer major that I love. Some students asked me, how can I find my own interests like me?In my opinion, first of all, we must objectively evaluate and find our own interests: don’t take things that are recognized and valued by society, family or friends as your hobbies; don’t think that interesting things are your interests, but experience it yourself And use your own mind to make judgments; don't think that something you are interested in can become your career, for example, liking playing online games does not mean that you will like or have the ability to develop online games; don't think that being interested means that you have this However, you can try to find the best combination of talent and interest. For example, if you are talented in mathematics but like computer majors, then you can do research in computer theory. The best way to find points of interest is to broaden your horizons and get in touch with many fields.Only by touching you can you try, only by trying can you find your favorite.The university is such a unique place where you can get in touch with and try many fields.Therefore, college students should better grasp their time at school and make full use of school resources, such as using library resources, listening to courses, searching the Internet, listening to lectures, working part-time, participating in club activities, communicating with friends, using e-mail and electronic forums, etc. Different ways to get in touch with more fields, more types of work and more experts and scholars.At that time, if I just obediently went to the law department to attend classes and did not try to audit the courses of the computer department, I would not work in the computer center, nor would I seek advice from the teaching assistants of the computer department, and I would not have discovered my knowledge of computers. Strong interest. By broadening your horizons and getting in touch, if you find your real hobbies, then you can try the possibility of changing departments, try extracurricular learning, take electives or audit related courses; you can also find some part-time jobs or internships Opportunities to further understand the nature of work in related industries; or, try to take the postgraduate entrance examination for the major you are interested in, and make a new major selection.In fact, what major you study for undergraduates does not completely determine the direction of work after graduation. As I have emphasized, the learning process during college cultivates your learning ability. As long as you have this ability, even if you are engaged in a new job , you can also gain enough knowledge and experience in the process of learning by doing. In addition to "choose what you love", you may also wish to try "love what you choose".Some students regret that they chose the wrong major when they entered school, so that they lack interest in the major they are studying and have no motivation to learn; Some students use interest as an excuse and are unwilling to face their majors because they encounter difficulties in their studies or have prejudices against their majors.None of these practices are correct.In university, it may not be easy to transfer to another department. Therefore, you should first try your best to read the major well, and gradually cultivate your interest in the major during the learning process.In addition, there may be many different fields in a major, and you may be interested in a certain field in the major.Now, many majors have developed interdisciplinary subjects, and the combination of two majors is often a new growth point.Therefore, as long as you get in touch and try more, you may encounter the direction you are really interested in. The inventor of the "digital pen", Dr. Wang Jian, is in charge of user interface research at Microsoft Asia Research Institute, but who would have thought that he studied psychology from undergraduate to Ph.D., and user interface is exactly computer and psychology. The best combination of professionalism.On the other hand, even if you want to work in other industries after graduation, you can still study your major well, which can also become your advantage in the new industry.For example, a classmate does not like to study engineering and wants to enter the service industry after graduation. I suggest that he study engineering well first, so that he can use proficiency in technology as his specialty in the service industry in the future. The road of life is very long, and everyone can have many different interests and hobbies.In addition to pursuing interests, it is more important to find your lifelong ambition.The author of a book once interviewed hundreds of successful people and asked them what they have learned today, but left regrets when they were young.Among the respondents' answers, the most common one is: "I hope that when I was young, my predecessors would tell me and encourage me to pursue my ideals and aspirations." In contrast, interest is the key, but ambition is more important .For example, my ambition is to "maximize impact". Over the years, I have many hobbies, such as speech recognition, game software, multimedia, research to development conversion, management, meeting user needs, speech and writing, Helping Chinese students, etc. Interests can change, but my ambition remains the same.Therefore, you don't have to regard a certain interest as your final goal, and you don't have to completely cut off the development path of any kind of interest. Under the guidance of ambition, different interests can develop in parallel, and make the best choice when necessary. choice.Ambition is like a compass, and interests are like sails. The two complement each other and are indispensable. They can make you sail to the ideal harbor. Proactive: decisive and responsible, creating opportunities When I founded "Kaifu Student Network", my original intention was to "help students help themselves".But what surprised me was that more students wanted me to help them make decisions directly, and even said to me directly after a few short self-introductions: "Only you can tell me what I should do."Does a stranger know better than you what to do?I gradually realized that this passive way of thinking was cultivated in the educational environment in China since I was a child.Passive people always habitually think that their current situation is caused by others and the environment. If others do not give pointers and the environment does not change, they will have to live passively.People with this attitude are defeated before their careers even start. I have never seen such negative people achieve sustained success. From day one of college, you have to move from passive to active, you have to be the master of your future, you have to actively manage your studies and future career, for one simple reason: because no one cares more about you than you work and life. It is your responsibility to "make college life worthwhile to you".Many students do not start to make life and career planning until they are in senior year, but an active student should start planning for his future when he enters the university. The first step to being proactive is having a positive attitude.You can use the method I recommended in the "Third Letter" to actively plan your life goals, pursue interests and try new knowledge and fields.Victor Frankl, a survivor of a concentration camp in Nazi Germany, once said: "In any given environment, people still have a final freedom, which is to choose their own attitude." The second step to being proactive is to take responsibility for everything about yourself and face life bravely.Don't put uncertain or difficult things on hold.For example, some students think that English is important, but they don’t learn English without exams in school; or, some students feel that they need to participate in clubs to hone their interpersonal relationships, but they don’t actively sign up because they are shy.但是，我们必须认识到，不去解决也是一种解决，不做决定也是一个决定，这样的解决和决定将使你面前的机会丧失殆尽。对于这种消极、胆怯的作风，你终有一天会付出代价的。 积极主动的第三步是要做好充分的准备：事事用心，事事尽力，不要等机遇上门；要把握住机遇，创造机遇。中国科技大学校长朱清时院士在大三时被分配到青海做铸造工人。但他不像其他同学那样放弃学习，整天打扑克、喝酒。他依然终日钻研数理化和英语。六年后，中国科学院要在青海做一个重要的项目，这时朱校长就脱颖而出，开始了他辉煌的事业。很多人可能说他运气好，被分配到缺乏人才的青海，才有这机会。但是，如果他没有努力学习，也无法抓住这个机遇。所以，做好充分的准备，当机遇来临时，你才能抓住它。 积极主动的第四步是“以终为始”，积极地规划大学四年。任何规划都将成为你某个阶段的终点，也将成为你下一个阶段的起点，而你的志向和兴趣将为你提供方向和动力。如果不知道自己的志向和兴趣，你应该马上做一个发掘志向和兴趣的计划；如果不知道毕业后要做什么，你应该马上制定一个尝试新领域的计划；如果不知道自己最欠缺什么，你应该马上写一份简历，找你的老师、朋友打分，或自己审阅，看看哪里需要改进；如果毕业后想出国读博士，你应该想想如何让自己在申请出国前有具体的研究经验和学术论文；如果毕业后想进入某个公司工作，你应该收集该公司的招聘广告，以便和你自己的履历对比，看自己还欠缺哪些经验。只要认真制定、管理、评估和调整自己的人生规划，你就会离你自己的目标越来越近。 掌控时间：事分轻重缓急，人应自控自觉 除了积极主动的态度，大学生还要学会安排自己的时间，管理自己的事务。一位同学是这么描述大学生活的： “大学和高中相比似乎没有什么太大的区别，每天依旧是学习，每次考试后依旧是担心考试成绩……不同的只是大学里上网的时间和睡觉的时间多了很多，压力也小了很多。” 这位同学并不明白，“时间多了很多”正是大学与高中之间巨大的差别。时间多了，就需要自己安排时间、计划时间、管理时间。 安排时间出了做一个时间表外，更重要的是“事分轻重缓急”。在一书中，作者史蒂芬·柯维提出，“重要事”和“紧急事”的差别是人们浪费时间的最大理由之一。因为人的惯性是先做最紧急的事，但这么做会导致一些重要的事被荒废掉。例如，我认为这篇文章里谈到的各种学习都是“重要的”，但它们不见得都是老师布置的必修课业，采纳我的建议的同学们依然会因为考试、交作业等紧急的事情而荒废了打好基础、学习做人等重要的事情。因此，每天管理时间的一种好方法是，早上确定今天要做的紧急事和重要事，睡前回顾一下，这一天有没有做到两者的平衡。 每个人都有许多“紧急事”和“重要事”，想把每件事都做到最好是不切实际的。我建议大家把“必须做的事”和“尽量做的事”分开。必须做的事要做到最好，但尽量做的事尽力而为即可。建议大家用良好的态度和宽广的胸怀接受那些你暂时不能改变的事情，多关注那些你能够改变的事情。此外，还要注意生物钟的运行规律，按时作息，劳逸结合，这样才能在学习时有最好的状态。 大学四年是最容易迷失方向的时期。大学生必须有自控的能力，让自己交些好朋友，学些好习惯，不要沉迷于对自己无益的习惯（如网络游戏）里。一位积极、主动的中国学生在“开复学生网”上劝告其他同学：“不要玩游戏，至少不要玩网络游戏。我所认识的专业水平比较高的大学朋友中没有一个玩网络游戏的。沉迷于网络游戏是对于现实的逃避，是不愿面对自己不足的一面。我认为，要脱离网络游戏，就得珍惜自己宝贵的大学时间，找到自己感兴趣的方向，做一些有意义并能给自己带来满足感的事情。” 为人处事：培养友情，参与群体 很多大学生入校时都是第一次离开父母，离开自己生长的环境。进入校园开始集体生活后，如何与同学、朋友以及社团的同事相处就成为了大学生学习内容的一部分。大学是大家最后一次可以在相对宽松的环境中学习、培养、训练如何与人相处的机会。在未来，人们在社会里、在工作中与人相处的能力会变得越来越重要，甚至超过了工作本身。所以，大学生要好好把握机会，培养自己的交流意识和团队精神。 “人际交往能力不够强，人际圈子不够广，但又没有什么特长可以引起大家的注意，在社团里也不知道怎么和其他人有效地建立联系。”这是一些大学生在人际交往方面经常遇到的困惑。对于如何在大学期间提高人际交往能力，我的建议是： 第一，以诚待人，以责人之心责己、以恕己之心恕人。对别人要抱着诚挚、宽容的胸襟，对自己要怀着自我批评、有过必改的态度。与人交往时，你怎样对待别人，别人也会怎样对待你。这就好比照镜子一样，你自己的表情和态度，可以从他人对你流露出的表情和态度中一览无遗。你若以诚待人，别人也会以诚待你。你若敌视别人，别人也会敌视你。最真挚的友情和最难解的仇恨都是由这种“反射”原理逐步造成的。因此，当你想修正别人时，你应该先修正自己。你想别人怎么对你，你就应该怎么对人。你想他人理解你，你就要首先理解他人。 第二，培养真正的友情。如果能做到第一点，很多大学时的朋友就会成为你一辈子的知己。在一起求学和寻求自身发展的道路上，这样的友谊弥足珍贵。交朋友时，不要只去找与你性情相近或只会附和你的人做朋友。好朋友有很多种：乐观的朋友、智慧的朋友、脚踏实地的朋友、幽默风趣的朋友、激励你上进的朋友、提升你能力的朋友、帮你了解自己的朋友、对你说实话的朋友等等。此外，大学时谈恋爱也可以教你如何照顾别人，增进同理心和自控力，但恋爱这件事要一切随缘，不必为了谈恋爱而谈恋爱。 第三，学习团队精神和沟通能力。社团是微观的社会，参与社团是步入社会前最好的磨练。在社团中，可以培养团队合作的能力和领导才能，也可以发挥你的专业特长。但更重要的是，你要做一个诚心诚意的服务者和志愿者，或在担任学生工作时主动扮演同学和老师之间沟通桥梁的角色，并以此锻炼自己的沟通能力，为同学和老师服务。这样的学习过程也不会很轻松，挫折是肯定有的，但是不要灰心，大学社团里的人际交往是一种不用“付学费”的学习，犯了错误也可以重头来过。 第四，从周围的人身上学习。在班级里、社团中，多观察周围的同学，特别是那些你觉得交往能力和沟通能力特别强的同学，看他们是如何与人相处的。比如，看他们如何处理交往中的冲突、如何说服他人和影响他人、如何发挥自己的合作和协调能力、如何表达对他人的尊重和真诚、如何表示赞许或反对，如何在不冒犯他人的情况下充分展示个性等等。通过观察和模仿，你渐渐地会发现，自己的人际交往能力会有意想不到的改进。在学校里，每一个朋友都可以成为你的良师，他们的热心、幽默、机智、博学、正直、沟通、礼貌等品德都可以成为你的学习对象。当然，你也应当慷慨地帮助每一个朋友，试着做他们的良师和模范。 第五，提高自身修养和人格魅力。如果觉得没有特长、没有爱好可能会成为自己人际交往能力提高的一个障碍，那么，你可以有意识地去选择和培养一些兴趣爱好。共同的兴趣和爱好也是你与朋友建立深厚感情的途径之一。很多在事业上有所建树的人都不是只会闭门苦读的书呆子，他们大多都有自己的兴趣和爱好。我在微软亚洲研究院的同事中就有绘画、桥牌和体育运动方面的高手。业余爱好不仅是人际交往的一种方式，还可以让大家发掘出自己在读书以外的潜能。例如，体育锻炼既可以发挥你的运动潜能，也可以培养你的团队合作精神。如果真的没有什么兴趣爱好，那么，多读些好书丰富自己的知识也可以改进自己的人际交往能力，因为没有什么比智慧和渊博更能体现一个人的人格魅力了。 所以，学会与人相处，这也是大学中的一门“必修课”。 对大学生们的期望 踏入大学校门时，你还是一个忙碌的、青涩的、被动的、为分数读书的、被家庭呵护着的中学毕业生。 就读大学时，你应当掌握七项学习，学好自修之道、基础知识、实践贯通、培养兴趣、积极主动、掌控时间、为人处事。 经过大学四年，你会从思考中确立自我，从学习中寻求真理，从独立中体验自主，从计划中把握时间，从表达中锻炼口才，从交友中品味成熟，从实践中赢得价值，从兴趣中攫取快乐，从追求中获得力量。 离开大学时，只要做到了这些，你最大的收获将是“对什么都可以拥有的自信和渴望”。你就能成为一个有潜力、有思想、有价值、有前途的中国未来的主人翁。 所以，大学四年应该这么度过。