Chapter 18 decent

"The Chinese are the most concerned about face," I said to my American classmate. "The U.S. government often runs into walls with the Chinese because they are too aggressive and don't give face." My classmate nodded in agreement. After a while, he seemed to have discovered something new, and asked me with a frown, "Since the Chinese are the most respectful, why is Chinatown the dirtiest among all the minority communities in New York?" I was at a loss for words. My husband once had an American secretary in her early thirties. She admired Chinese Kungfu and studied hard. Now she has considerable skill and is the secretary-general of the Women's Self-Defense Association in New York.Don't look at her gentle and elegant appearance, but she is very heroic when practicing fists and kicks.Not long ago, she came to the long-awaited China and took a domestic flight from Shanghai to Beijing.When I got off the plane, a Chinese man behind me pushed her repeatedly, urging her to leave quickly. She had never been treated like this before, and she didn't know what to do. She asked my husband if he had encountered a bad person and needed to fight back.Afterwards, she asked puzzledly, "Why did he push people when they got off the plane? Doesn't he know how to respect women? If I were in the United States, I would be rude to him."

If men's reckless behavior is infuriating, women's gaffes are more or less pathetic.I don't understand. Many women pay great attention to their public image when they are young. Why do they not only care about their appearance but also "masculine" their behavior once they have children and enter middle age?They uttered the most nasty swear words for a little bit of tongue-in-cheek, and even men would blush, but they were imposing, thinking they were bold and bold, but in the eyes of everyone, they were actually unbearably vulgar. Nowadays, batches of domestic investigation groups go abroad to visit, and some substandard behaviors are also exported to foreign countries to be "prosperous".I once met a delegation from China in a tourist spot in Florida, USA.At that time, it was summer and the peak tourist season, and there was a long queue outside the public toilets.The three female compatriots from China rushed to the front of the line as if no one was there, and waited at the front with peace of mind, ignoring the loud protests of the people behind, as if they could not understand English.turn a deaf ear.I don't believe they can't even say "sorry".When they walked out talking and laughing, the crowd booed, and I heard someone say: "Chinese (Chinese)." What's worse, they recognized me in the team, and they were very excited and affectionate: "Are you Yang Lan, right? Definitely! We are your enthusiastic viewers. We learned a lot about the world from your program." People around me looked at me strangely, and my face turned red.My attitude at that time, in the eyes of these "enthusiastic audiences", must have been too indifferent.How can you not be indifferent - the etiquette of queuing is "world knowledge" that needs no special introduction.

There was once a domestic delegation that visited Germany, and most of its members were cadres of a certain level.Once on a ferry, the local escort bought a ticket for everyone.The ticket is a coin that, when inserted into an automatic cash register, turns a lever and boards the boat.An old man in the delegation suddenly yelled in front of the gear lever, saying that he had put in a coin, why didn't the gear lever rotate?The conductor rushed over after hearing the sound and began to overhaul the cash register.After trying several times and seeing that there was no fault, he apologized to the man and said, "Probably the machine jammed just now. Please get on the boat. I'm sorry." The companions said: "It is true that foreigners are stupid. In fact, I didn't put any coins at all. I wanted to keep them and take them back as souvenirs for my son. Look at that stupid foreigner who still believed it and said sorry! Hahaha ..” What a heartfelt joy!I really want to say something to this person: "Look, there are many "interesting stories" about your cleverness. Every time I hear it, I feel a different feeling in my heart. I really want to give these people a deep bow: "Please, please, don't Shame on the Chinese again. "

Some people talk about the confusion of basic social norms brought about by ten years of turmoil, and some people talk about the low spiritual requirements brought about by poverty. I think both are reasonable, but they don't seem to fully explain what happened.The Chinese in Chinatown should not have been directly persecuted by the "Cultural Revolution", and it's probably not that the old man who went abroad for inspection couldn't afford a coin. I don't want to associate these things with national character without authorization, and I don't want to talk about social standards from a moral standpoint. After much deliberation, I found a word: "decent."

"Ci Hai" interprets "decent" as "politeness; rules; face".Literally, "body" and "face" are nothing more than appearances. This word is often used to describe the ostentation of clothing, food, housing and transportation in life, so "decent" has a vain color in many people's minds. .In my opinion, "decent" is actually an external expression of self-esteem and self-love.Some people may say: "Decentness is just a kind of packaging, a form that hopes to be recognized by others." But I think that since people live in groups, they need such a form and packaging.This is not only to win the approval of others, but also the need of self psychology.It's hard to imagine that a man who meets his girlfriend for the first time will intentionally make himself unkempt; it's also hard to imagine that a wife who loves his family will be proud of a messy home.Although we don't need to blindly embellish ourselves to cater to others, we are eager to be respected and conduct ourselves according to the basic standards recognized by society, but this is human nature and the minimum cultivation of human beings.

Moreover, decency does not only exist in neat and tidy clothing, a flattering attitude, and decent words and deeds, but also in upright behavior and dignified personality, which then accumulate into the image of a country.It manifests itself directly in a sense of shame, in a sensitivity to public opinion.This sense of shame manifests itself as self-imposed restraint even in the absence of supervision from others.Adam and Eve were ashamed to be naked.And when a person puts on clothes, he does not necessarily have dignity naturally. I believe that many people have the same experience as me: in the past, when they saw beggars, they often felt sorry for their misfortune and helped them with petty bourgeoisie, but now, their disgust is often greater than their compassion.The reason is that many people use begging as a profession, or self-mutilation, or groaning without illness, defrauding sympathy at the cost of personality, getting something for nothing, and even amassing wealth.The most intolerable thing is to use children to beg.Four or five children under the age of ten were forced or tricked to stretch out their small hands to strangers, and practiced a few "begging words" that they had already memorized by heart. in the hands of adults.When the man saw that it was a big banknote, he gave a few words of encouragement; if it was a handful of change, he reprimanded him.I saw the children begging vigorously, while the adults were steadily collecting and counting. That scene was the most disgusting in my life: Is there anything more intolerable than depriving children of their self-esteem and decency?A disabled child can still study, and a poor child can still support himself.What can a child who has no sense of shame since childhood be able to do?Once, when I came out of a restaurant with a few friends, I met a middle-aged woman with a ruddy complexion and no sense of distress, holding three children who did not look alike. Didn't eat, asked for alms.Under her pushing and shoving, the three villains stretched out their small hands timidly and grabbed the corners of our clothes, turning their eyes around and not daring to look at anyone.A barely audible plea was murmured.I couldn't hold back my anger and said to the woman: "If you are really their mother, how can you have the heart to force them to do such a thing?"

Forgive me for giving some negative examples, but these things really impressed me too much.Xiumian is just the minimum standard of being a human being, so those who own it are not surprised by it.And without it, everything becomes intolerable.And the dignity of a country depends on every countryman to cherish it! Recently, the US "Reader's Digest" conducted a national survey.Investigators left a wallet on the street and took cover to see what would happen to anyone who carried it.As a result, 67% of people handed over their wallets to the police. Can we do the same experiment?