Chapter 16 seven days

There is a novel called Baby Anne, the whole seven years is an unprecedented wait, until finally everyone dies together, different backgrounds and the same fate.But for me, seven days is enough. Within seven days, I have fulfilled the whole meaning of life, which is very tragic. Monday through the slits of my eyes through the half-dried Blood sees the world I'm going to live in The sky was very dark, starless, and heavy clouds weighed low.Black with a hint of dark blood red.There is no wind, and the trees are as motionless as postmodern sculptures.Then there was a thunderbolt, and I was born.

Tell his friends so.As a result, everyone was very disapproving and said: You-go-die!Don't say things that are too exaggerated.When I speak the truth, others say I am exaggerating, and what is really exaggerated is accepted as fact.This world is so ridiculous. My mother told me that the day she gave birth to me she was watching a horror movie at the cinema.I said she didn't know anything about prenatal education, she said it was for prenatal education, to teach me how to be brave.The result is that I am very timid now, which is very out of proportion to my boyish appearance.But I was really brave when I was born, I just cried a few times symbolically, and then fell asleep.As I grew older, my inherent bravery gradually deteriorated, but the fright I suffered in the womb surged out intensified, becoming a small sorrow in the great sorrow of my life.My mother's prenatal education is indeed too much, so I often say to her now: When things go to the extreme, they must be reversed, and when things are extreme, they must be reversed.

It may be that I cried too little when I was born, so God asked me to cry back the debt I owed.I have been crying since I was born, repeating the process of being hospitalized—discharged—rehospitalized—redischarged.The neighbors around said that I could no longer support them, and asked my mother to have another one.My mother's persistence in the end is the whole reason why I am still alive now.My mother told me all this with a look of vicissitudes on her face.But my expression was very numb, as if it had nothing to do with me-even though I loved my mother very much.My mother looked at me and shook her head and said, you child is really ignorant.I think I'm quite sensible, I'm just not good at showing my inner feelings on my face.So I'm destined not to be a good actor. An actor needs to be able to show the emotion others want on his face, but I don't have it.It's that simple.

When I was one year old, I started talking. When I was one and a half years old, I learned to walk. At two years old, I would say: I want that red apple. At the age of three, I started my childhood with memories. My grandma sat in front of the door on Tuesday, in the river There is a cute duck, and there is a big moon in the sky, My glass bottle-like childhood I am a smart kid, I have been since childhood.I grew up in my grandmother's family, a very innocent childhood, mixed with the smell of flowers and grass, and the smell of Sophora japonica on my grandmother's silver-white hair.I'm a smart kid and my grandmother likes me very much.

Later, my mother told me that it was time for you to go to school, so I went to school with my schoolbag on my back.When I signed up, the teacher saw that I was very thin, squeezed my little arms and legs, looked at me for a long time with the gaze of looking at the animals, and then said: Can this kid keep up with other students?For the first time in my life I felt ashamed, so I studied hard.Later, I scored 100 points in each test. After each test, I would ask how much less the second place was than me, and not who the first place was. Later, the teacher liked me very much. I said I was a smart kid.

I spent six years in elementary school very well. I played hide-and-seek with kites on the mountain, even if I was alone, I had a lot of fun.Then I went home and pointed to the mud all over my body and said to my mother with a smile: "Look, I can play well." I was bitten by a snake once when I was a child, downstairs. (I still wonder why there are snakes downstairs.) After being bitten, I leaned against the wall in the most comfortable posture and said to my mother upstairs in the calmest voice: I was bitten by a snake.My mother's panic when she saw the blood on my knee and my stability are definitely the biggest gap in the world.Of course the snake is non-poisonous and kind.

The only time I shed tears was when I got 80% in the exam and my father was going to beat me up. I thought at the time that if he was going to beat me up, I would stop calling him dad.Later, he really didn't beat me up. Later, the teacher said that I made a mistake in the test paper, and I still got 100 points. I thought of my teacher.I went to see her during the Spring Festival last year and found that her hair was already very white, and I still clearly remember her shaking her black hair in front of the blackboard.The teacher in my memory was strict, but it was clearly a kind old lady in front of me.I heard that the teacher is retiring soon.When I was leaving, I ran into the teacher’s current students, my younger brothers and younger sisters. When I saw them, I thought of myself.The red scarf is fluttering around the neck, very beautiful.

The childhood in my memory has been beautified subjectively by me. The sky is always blue, and it is not allowed to change into other colors; the grass is always tender, and it is not allowed to turn yellow or dry;Plato is a noble god in my mind, and childhood is a utopia beyond my reach. So now I look at my childhood with an upward gaze, like a filthy ronin who dares not approach the holy goddess in his mind.Childhood shrunk into a grain of sand, stuck in my eyes, forcing me to keep crying.obviously there I can't see it in front of my eyes. It's obvious that I have traveled far away with time, but the pain is very clear, as if it is on the skin.

I remember when I was young/you loved to chat and I loved to laugh/the wind was blowing in the treetops and the birds were singing/I fell asleep for some reason/I knew how much flowers fell in my dreams Wednesday it all started with that subtle The crack of life - that summer just passed Time rift where autumn is coming It was only when I was asked to tell what happened in junior high school that I realized that the words were pale and powerless.In the painful review, I found that I have been learning a rule for three years. Do you have corners?Then you wear it off.Do you have the truth?Then you swallow it.do you have angerThen you find a place where no one is around.

It's that simple. But I am a willful child, I have been since childhood.I have more than one edge, please shoot me.Every teacher talked about me with a smile and then shook his head, very subtle movements.Because I am the child with the best grades they want but not the obedient child they want.But I am the only child who will send a greeting card to the teacher on Teacher's Day after graduation. I am the only child who will stand upright and say hello to the teacher when I meet the teacher on the street after graduation.The teacher said it was rare. Every time I rank in the whole grade, I can show it with only three fingers, which is very enviable.At that time, the first place in the test was a very fat man. My friend said: He can’t even speak a complete sentence of English fluently. If you win the test, let him see who is the best.I said that there is nothing to argue with this kind of person.I hid in the gorgeous castle built by the report card and was free and unfettered.

When the obscure ancient prose wrenches my brain, I will pull out a copy of Xi Murong from the desk, write the ending and let the tears set off.I never do the kind of exercises that repeat the same type thousands of times.I read original English novels instead of reciting boring texts.The teacher's reaction to all this ranged from anger to persuasion to doing as I please.I am an outlier among students. I have a lot of friends, and most of their grades are from downstream.I always thought they were smarter than the high-achieving students.Because there was once a girl with good grades who said all the songs she knew were the theme songs of TV series-fortunately, she at least watched TV series.So I am a bad student among good students, and a good student among bad students. The eugenics said solemnly, you don't want to be with them every day, that's not good.I don't pay attention to this kind of self-confident persuasion, my friend and I are very good.It's their job for good students to laugh behind their backs, and it won't hurt me. God left a very clever child and let him accept the laughter of the stupid mortals.You laugh, I am that kid. On Thursday I kept chasing that black happiness, like blindfolded looking for the way back I'm in high school, it's like a declaration, very powerful.The exhaustion of the third year of junior high school is a thing of the past. We are looking for bright spots in our messy bodies that can make people happy. After all, youth is beautiful. My high school is in another city, and I live on campus.The feeling of breaking away from home for the first time is hard to describe.There is a little freshness, a little loneliness, and a little nostalgia.There is everything, but after mixing, each feeling becomes indistinguishable like a shallow shadow.Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, blue and purple are mixed together so that you can't see your fingers.The principle is the same.No need to explain too much. My high school is a provincial key point, and good students are like crucian carp crossing the river.I graduated seventh in the district, which I thought was something to brag about.But when I entered high school on my first day and couldn't find my name on the top 50 honor roll on the blackboard at the school gate, I lost all pride. I said that I am a smart and willful child, and I will never admit defeat, so in the first exam after school, I was the eighth in the whole grade.Everyone looked at me with wide eyes, as if watching a miracle.I am very proud. And what I want to say is that the rules learned by life and death in junior high school were declared invalid again, and God made an ambiguous smile above his head. "The first level is a kind of struggle / The first level is a kind of transformation / And in the pain of looking back / It is your and my years that appear frequently." Xi Murong is a person who is very good at preaching. There are friends, but friends from high school can be a bit embarrassing.We are both friends and enemies.We thought that defeating each other led to Rome, but the fact is that the whole country is full of soldiers, and masters are lurking in the unknown distance.The college entrance examination is a national tragic war, and everyone knows it.But we really can't take a student who is like air tens of thousands of miles away as our pursuit The goal, the distance, let all the oppressive feelings all over the country be concentrated in one's own school, and the rest of the people are irrelevant to us.It is very deceitful. So I am a lonely child. Don't tell me high school students have great friendships, I'm brave enough to bite you to pieces.Friendship is our bet, we can throw out anything for the college entrance examination. I wasn't so pessimistic at first. The real disappointment came after my notebooks disappeared one after another, after my reference books appeared on other people's desks openly, and after I learned new rules. After that slightly cooler autumn.Autumn is here, can winter be far behind? If you say that standing alone in the desert and watching the big moon in the sky is called loneliness, then I agree; if you say that standing in the crowd of noisy people but being at a loss is also lonely, then I also agree.But what I want to say is that the latter is not only lonely but also cruel Lingchi. High school was a three-year lingering, and in the end everyone died together. Lonely you stand in the boundless world / Smart child carrying a fragile lantern / Chic you will melt your mind into the world / Lonely child, you are the grace of creation. Friday I watched the whirling The world turned upside down, with ignorance the unconscious mind appreciates From Monday to Thursday, every day spans several years, but from Thursday to Friday is only one year, from the first year of high school to the second year of high school.I don't know if time is passing more and more slowly or if my life is starting to become a lifeless stagnation.unknown. I chose science and obeyed my father's order, which was very tragic because I sacrificed my own will.In fact, I am full of yearning for the life of liberal arts, and that is my natural affiliation.It is not enough for science students to practice with a mind like still water.I am still thinking about the beauty and glitz of the colorful world outside, I am a person who is greedy for the world of mortals.Little A is my friend, and he went to liberal arts despite the opposition of his family.I admire him very much. It has always been a feat to control one's own destiny.And I can't. At noon, I will go to Xiao A for dinner, and listen to him tell me about the background of their test questions.While imagining the life that should belong to me, I tried hard to find the thin air around me to keep breathing.Little A looked at me with a pitiful look, and I kept silent. Science students must have unparalleled neuroticism and I still lack it.I don't do force analysis on a flying football and imagine its trajectory, I don't see bubbles popping up in a pond and wonder if it's air or methane, and I don't make perfect diagonals of buildings.I won't but my classmates will, that's the gap. No one will attend the history and politics classes. The teacher will talk casually in a symbolic way, and we will listen casually below.Everyone has a book of science materials in their hands. The stories full of philosophy and tragic history cannot impress them, and their rational nerves are indestructible.I think all this is very unreasonable. I looked into the teacher's eyes very piously, but he didn't have the passion to echo me.In the end, I had no choice but to give up. The environment where everyone was doing the problem made me give up history and politics.Sometimes people are easy to compromise. Saturday words from my fingertips in blood Forms flow, I hear them fall sound like diamonds on paper I fell in love with words, which is an unforgivable mistake of a science student.The novels in the school library are rarely borrowed, and I am often the only one wandering around in the novel area, and the reference books and the like have long been searched out of shape.This is a school that emphasizes science over literature. A science student in a school that emphasizes science over literature falls in love with literature, which is as unbelievable as the Arabian Nights.I am a science student, I don't need sharp insight, I don't need beautiful writing, I just need to learn how to analyze how two balls collide, and how bubbles will form when metal falls into acid.Looks like I'm cheating. I also write something, but what I write is a bit cold and damp, like moss growing in a dark corner.In fact, I hope that what I write can be sunny and vigorous, but I can't.I always tell the story I want to present in a nonchalant and insensitive tone, even though a lot of times I am telling myself.A friend said, how did you talk about yourself in a calm tone as if you were telling someone else's story?I said I don't know either.The teacher said, you have to be a little more sensational, and then you can move others.I said that it is enough to move yourself, why move others. I often read Baby Anne's sharp and decadent texts until they sting me very painfully, so as to prove that I am not numb, the so-called fighting fire with fire. The teacher said that you should not use those metaphors in your composition, I said yes; the teacher said that you should memorize the beginning and the end, I said yes; the teacher said that you should memorize the birth date of this great writer , I said yes, although I'm at a loss as to whether it's the writer's person or the writer's work that counts. The more the teacher talked, the more at a loss I became, what a black irony. Sunday I'm old, too old to lose Memory and imagination, I feel like I'm aging in an instant An internet writer said that we all live in habits. We live like this today because we lived like this yesterday; and we lived like this yesterday because we lived like the day before yesterday.Freud said: This is the death instinct. But I live at the speed of light, on Monday I was still struggling to say that I want that red apple, and on Saturday I can write words like moss.I don't want to live so fast and grow old so fast. I hope that time will flow slowly at a speed of one ten thousandth. I hope to see a drop of tear falling and blooming in beautiful colors under slow motion processing. However, the person holding the remote control is always Rest your finger on the "Fast Forward" key. Hsi Murong asked: After the images of life are shown quickly, do we still have the courage to continue the journey that is slowly unfolding in front of us every minute and every second?I'm also looking for an answer and have had a hard time finding it. I thought my life was short enough—one week, just one week—and now I find that my life could be shorter, five thousand words, five thousand words, the whole of my life.