Chapter 25 train from bordeaux

I am sixteen years old.At this age, I still behave like a child.It was the night train from Bordeaux after returning from Saigon and parting from my Chinese lover in 1930.I was with my family, my two older brothers, and my mother.When the third-class car had eight private compartments, I think there were two or three other people, among them was a young man, sitting across from me, and he was looking at me.He is about thirty years old.That should be in summer.I've been wearing the light-coloured tunic I wore in the colony and sandals on my bare feet.I didn't sleep.The man asked me about my family, so I talked about life in the colony, the rain, the heat, the verandah, the difference from France, the hikes in the forest, and I had to pass my baccalaureate exams this year and stuff like that, nothing more The usual small talk on the train, at this time, you just need to tell your own stories and family affairs directly.Then, suddenly, everyone was asleep, my mother and my brother falling asleep as soon as we drove out of Bordeaux.I speak in a low voice, so don't wake them up.If they heard me tell about my family, they would yell and threaten me not to speak.Talking softly to the man, the other three or four people in the carriage also fell asleep.So only the man and I were awake and not asleep.And so, all of a sudden, it started, at the same moment, in a blink of an eye, with absolute certainty and in a brutal way.At that time, such things were never said, especially on that occasion, and it made it impossible for us to continue talking.It is impossible to see each other anymore.I have no strength left.Knocked out.It's me, I probably have to get some sleep, so I won't be too tired when I arrive in Paris tomorrow morning.He sat near the door.He turned off the light.There is a little space between him and me.I stretched out on the bench, put my legs up, and closed my eyes.I heard him open the car door.He went out and came back with a quilt from the car. He put the quilt on me. I opened my eyes, smiled at him, and said thank you.He said, "They turned off the heat on the train at night, and it was cold in the morning." I fell asleep.I was woken up by his warm and soft hand on my leg. His hand gently separated my leg and tried to reach me. I opened my eyes slightly.I saw him looking at the people in the carriage, he was paying attention, he was afraid.I slowly stretched my body towards him little by little.I put my feet on top of him.I give him my feet.He grabs my foot.I closed my eyes and followed his movements.It started to move very slowly, then it became slower and slower; it was always restrained, and finally it reached the pleasure and stopped moving. If he yelled out, it would be unbearable.

For a long time there was no sound but the rattling of the train.The car was going faster and the noise was deafening.Then the sound of the car quieted down again and became bearable again.His hands touched me.The hand seemed panicked, still hot, it was scared, I took it and held it in my hand.Then I let go and let it move. The train sounded again.His hand was withdrawn, avoiding me for a long time, then I don't know, I must have fallen asleep. It's at it again. It caresses the whole body, the breasts, the abdomen, the waist, with the desire to heat up and arouse the passion.Sometimes it stops suddenly again.It touched that place, trembling, as if about to bite, scorching hot.Then, start moving again.It sets itself up with a sense of reason, gentleness and reason, and lets itself bid farewell to this child lovingly and lovingly.Around the hand, there is the noise of the train.Around the train, it was dark.Amidst the noise of the train was the silence of the passageway.The train stops and wakes people up.He got off at night.When I arrived in Paris, I opened my eyes and saw that his seat was empty.