Chapter 22 feelings

Chen Shidao's poem says: "When will Haohuai be a hundred years old?" In fact, good feelings can be luxurious every day. To take a step back, if it is not an absolutely happy feeling, so what?As long as you have your own feelings in your chest, that's enough. ⒈ The school bus crossed Zhongshan North Road and accidentally stopped in front of a red light.A chance ray of sunlight casts the shadow of a chance street tree on my skirt.I looked at the jagged tree shadows in surprise—what a strange embroidery, is it Hunan embroidery?Or Suzhou embroidery? Then, the green light came on, the car moved, and the embroidery marks disappeared.

I was full of strange tenderness all day long, like a child wearing new clothes for the first time during the Chinese New Year, or like an emperor who was suddenly dressed in a yellow robe, and suddenly felt that I was infinitely precious. ⒉ Waiting for the car by the side of the small road in the country, the car will not come even if it dies. I stood there with my book in my arms, helpless. However, when the car didn’t come, what we were waiting for was the golden loofah flowers on the fence. The fragrance of the flowers burst into arrays, rushing straight to people. , and the grass hugging the shore, I suddenly found myself surrounded by beauty.

Waiting for a bus at such a post station, what's the problem if the bus doesn't come?So what if we don't do anything? When did the car come?I forgot how things were done, and I also forgot, what I will never forget is the vibrant and bright yellow flowers all over the fence. ⒊ Another similar experience was standing in the shadow of trees waiting for the bus at night.The road was full of dust during the day, but it was eerily quiet at night.After standing for a long time, I suddenly found a tree with fragrant flowers on my head. It was late spring at that time, and the flowers were milky white whiskers. I seemed to have heard it called horsehair flower somewhere.

In the dark night, I feel the joy of communicating with each other because of the persistent and quiet fragrance of flowers, like a Zen practitioner, I seem to understand the flower, but I don’t seem to understand it.Knowing it is certainly a joy—because understanding is a kind of understanding, and not knowing is another kind of happiness—only when you don’t understand can you lower your own sharp angles and pay tribute sincerely. Whether by fragrance or color, flowers always amaze me. ⒋ In May, I was sorting out old manuscripts in the research room, when a beautiful blue dragonfly came through the window suddenly.I was caught off guard all of a sudden, my hands and feet were in a mess, and I was afraid that it would be knocked unconscious by the glass cabinet, and I wanted to keep it a little longer. Of course, I also wanted to show it how to escape.

But the whole thing happened too fast. It hit Yuan Zaju for a while, Tang poetry for a while, and the complete works of Shakespeare for a while. I just didn't know what to do. Then, without a trace, in just a few seconds, it flew away again. I was left standing between the books in a daze. Did it mistake the fragrance of books for the fragrance of flowers?Or it deliberately came to cheer me up, and made me realize that the whole life of reading is nothing more than bumping heads and bumps here and there. I looked out of the window, and the rocks on the back mountain were piled on rocks, and acacia trees were stacked on top of each other, but I couldn't see the dragonfly.

The strange thing is that after only a few seconds of meeting, the laboratory seems to be completely different from then on. I always remember that this is a place visited by a blue dragonfly. ⒌ Watching his son draw, he couldn't help but burst out laughing. He drew a picture of the sun with a ballpoint pen, the lines are very careful, it seems that someone is walking in space, someone is in a spaceship, but what made me laugh is because he drew an "immigration office" in a serious way. The children of this generation have their own courage. ⒍ In November, the autumn sun was as light as a shawl, and I was in a mountain.

Suddenly a boy in a red jacket came into the shop, holding a stack of pink envelopes in his hand. The owner of the shop hastily pushed away the fungus and shiitake mushrooms and greeted them. He shouted in a hoarse voice: "Welcome, welcome, joy from the sky! You brought all the joy when you came!" Judging by the accent, he is from Sichuan. I guess he is probably a retired veteran. The shy boy muttered a few words and crossed the street to the house across the street to deliver postings door-to-door. I was inexplicably happy in my heart. In this barren mountain, a boy and a girl are getting married. Maybe everyone in the village will go to the wedding banquet. Walking all the way to distribute their wedding invitations.

In the deep mountains, in the light of day, the boy in the red jacket amidst the green bushes, the pink wedding invitation written neatly in block letters with a brush...it could have been so kind and beautiful in the eyes of a stranger. ⒎ I was walking in the alley, and the soft branches on the top floor of the apartment were hanging down. I looked up and stood like a monk facing the cliff in front of the cliff. I really don't know why that flower has such a long and nice name. I looked up at the bright yellow vortex in a concrete forest, and felt a kind of joy in spying on something that didn't belong to me.

I finally made up my mind to ring the doorbell of that house.I asked the housewife to tell me her phone number. I wanted to ask her about flowers, and she told me she was Mrs. Duan. One evening in a good mood, I spoke to her. "Your house is Anhui?" After a few words, I said with certainty. "Yeah, yeah." She smiled happily, "How do you know all about it? Is my accent too strong?" Ask her why the flowers grow so well, she modestly said that there is no secret recipe, but sometimes just pour the water for washing fish and meat casually.She asked me to see her flower stand again, you are welcome.

She said it so lightly, and I didn't get the point—but I suddenly realized that I didn't want to know the tricks of growing flowers, I didn't want to grow flowers at all, I was always just a flower appreciator at heart.But why should I ask?I don't know either, it was probably just an impulse, I saw a flower that bloomed too well, and I wanted to know its owner. When passing by again in the future, my eyes searched for the yellow cicada as usual, and I felt an indescribable peace of mind - because I knew it was Mrs. Duan's flower, and there would always be a Mrs. Duan who would pick it up. Heartfelt, this word has both soft branches and yellow cicadas, and Mrs. Duan's alley, how good it is!

I'm one of those people who's easily uneasy at all—and often easy to be reassured. ⒏ There is one disease that I will definitely fall into once every year to a year and a half on average-I like to go to thrift stores. A thrift store is not an antique store. The antique store has a compelling aristocratic atmosphere, and I dare not go in.That kind of place needs money, leisure, and knowledge, but thrift stores are for life. If you buy second-hand goods, you don’t need to nail a shelf to display them, you can directly use them in your life. Most of the time when I go to thrift stores, I don’t actually buy. I like to look around. There are tables, chairs, cabinets, beds, books, lampstands, cups, irons, bowls and ladles, knives and forks, and record players in the dark and undecorated hall. , records, dolls, dragon-painted tortoise shell specimens, crochet doily... I fumbled there, feeling calm and agitated. —Some people have lived in it. ——On the stage of life, they were all such competent props. ——The small bathtub in the corner, in front of which a distraught little mother once stood to bathe her newborn baby. ——The coffee table by the door, was it burnt with three teacup marks by that careless owner? ——Did the obvious knife mark on the desk be made by a child? He got into trouble and didn't remember the bright red jersey, and the proud number on the back of the jersey, is it the number that many boys are jealous of?Is it a number that drives many girls crazy? Every time I open and close, what I take out is not clothes and sundries, it is a story that is about to come out, a vivid and vivid specificity, a kind of happening that has truly happened in a distant place and a long time ago. How could I miss an unknown foreign old man?There seems to be some oriental mysterious karma in it. Or open, or close, I will think of the player who is already an old man in a daze. ⒐ As opposed to thrift stores, I also love hardware stores. A thrift store is full of "already", full of "old things", but a washboard or a sponge in the hardware store is full of "unknown". "Unknown" makes me awed and confused. I always have mixed feelings when I stand in the hardware store. Like Mo Zai’s sad silk, just because the white silk that was originally fed on a mulberry tree, raised by a pair of female hands, and cocooned under the same eaves is instantly "dyed with yellow, it will be yellow", "dyed with green, it will be green", What will they be woven into?Woven into what?Where will they go?How will they be treated?They are full of all good and bad possibilities. Mozi was saddened by this. And I stood in the hardware store, looking at the stacked things on the ground, on the shelves, and over the head, and I couldn't help being confused. They are all kettles, all finished products of the same machine, and of course they are all used to boil water when they are bought.But which one will go to a beautiful home, a place where "a lover's water is sweet to drink"?And which one will be doomed to spend its morning and evening on the cold stove?Do you know if you were scolded? ——How could Long Wei's tail be hurt? ——Why did a small corner of the ashtray get smashed, who stuck it with super glue? ——How many times has the teapot been brewed before such ancient tea stains accumulate?What kind of tea does that man drink?Oolong?Or incense? ——How much fun have you had?That dusty wine glass. ——How many nights are warmed, that floor lamp. I just rubbed the past over and over again like that, as if I was in a theater after the show, where did those people go?died?scattered?gone?or still? Some people pay homage to Jia Yi, some to Qu Yuan, and some to the heroes of the ages washed away by the waves in the Red Cliff of the Great River, but whenever I go to a thrift store, I think of those unknown characters, among the many small and trivial objects, which are repeated day by day. Little people who are tortured for a day. Mount Tai was enshrined in Zen, and different ancient characters record different royal families.Yanshan Le inscription, different stones record different military honors.Those are some "happenings", some "stories". I love seeing "stories" and "happenings". So real intense yet unspoken, life is done there, I love thrift stores. ⒑ I have a small black suitcase, which was given to me by a friend when the old suitcase broke during the trip.My friend bought it at a low price from an old neighbor of hers at the "auto shop market" (that is, a temporary second-hand store) for fun. When she transferred the box to me, she told me that the number was 088, and then, She also told me that the old man who sold boxes said that he chose 088 because he had the number 088 on his back when he played football in middle school. Every time I open and close the box, I always think of the old man I have never met before, and think of his young man, who started frying oyster omelette. I was dumbfounded. It turns out that this can also be a kind of marriage. It turned out that they could finish scolding or beating without losing their status as husband and wife, just like the palms and backs of hands, they don't even know what "point" is. I peeked at them, they don't give flowers to each other as those authorities dictate, do they?Their world doesn't seem to have "birthday gifts" or "surprise each other". How do they survive?How can they live well? There must be something about their marriage that is indestructible, something that is indestructible, something that marriage experts don't understand.Compared with them, young couples are so vulnerable. The other party forgot Valentine's Day, the other party wore the color you hate, and the other party spoke inappropriately... But what about the pair standing behind the oyster iron pot?They endured the smoke and fire, and they lived through the rain and dew on the street together, but when they took care of the food stall together, the overlapping figures standing shoulder to shoulder were solid and heavy, and after late at night, the shadows of them packing up the pots and bowls and going home together What a breathtaking beauty. Like the palm and the back of the hand, they can scold each other, hit each other, or say nothing to each other, but they just don't know what "dividing" means-it's not that they want to divide or don't want to divide, but they can't figure out how to separate things that are originally one. Possibly? I want to think about the marriage outside this manual, the Chinese love that the authorities and experts don't know. Once the same lunch box is sold, what kind of dishes will each contain?What kind of child should I feed it?That child—while eating this lunch box every day, what kind of adult will he grow into? How different things will the same trash can hold?Soaked tea dregs?The melon rind with its red flesh eaten?A torn love letter?An outdated pair of shoes? The hardware store is full of possibilities, all the possibilities that belong to the life of the petty bourgeoisie. I love to stand in the hardware store, I love to stand in front of all the "not yet", meditate, and be amazed by the unthinkable. 11 The world is full of authorities and experts who guide us all day long—including our marriages. I don't know how many books on marriage guidance I have read.It's blurry anyway. But the couple I saw at the food stall made me unable to forget. It had just rained that day, and there were small puddles on the ground. The stalls were always busy, but occasionally there was a minute or two of free time.The man on the other end was wearing stupid rain boots and ran away to tread water. For some reason, he flashed and fell to the ground. What does the marriage book say?I don’t seem to have read it, what should the wife do if the husband falls in the rain? The man on the other side got up by himself, and his wife stood on the stove and said as if it had nothing to do with him: "Should! Should! Oh, let's laugh at everyone, should, such a grown-up person still go jumping in the water, should..." Instead of pulling him, she told the guests all about her family.I watched carefully, not knowing what the next step would be, but I found that the other guy turned around and came back, as if nothing had happened.