Chapter 33 On the Bell Tower (Night Notes 2)

It was also when I was in Xiamen that Bo Sheng[2] came from Guangzhou and told me that Mr. Aier[3] was also there.Probably to seek a new life, I once wrote a long letter to Commissioner K [4], explaining my past and future aspirations. "Do you know that there is a man named Aier? He wrote me a long letter, but I haven't read it. In fact, writing long letters like this kind of writer is counter-revolutionary!" Bai Sheng said. Another day, Bo Sheng told Ai Er again, Ai Er jumped up and said, "What?... How can you say that I am a counter-revolutionary?!" It is still warm and late autumn in Xiamen, wild pomegranates are blooming in the mountains, and yellow flowers—I don’t know the name—are blooming downstairs.I heard this little story in the small building surrounded by granite walls, and Commissioner K's serious face with knotted brows, and the youthful face with love and liveliness and dullness all appeared before my eyes. , and seemed to jump up in love in front of Commissioner K's frowning face——I couldn't help laughing looking at the distant sky through the window.

But at the same time, I also remembered the words of Blok, the author of "Twelve" who was once a famous poet in Soviet Russia: "The Communist Party does not hinder poetry writing, but it does hinder the feeling that one is a great writer. Great writers Or, it feels that the core of all my creations maintains a law within myself.” Is the Communist Party and poetry, revolution and Changxin really so incompatible?I think. The above is what I thought at the time.At this time, I thought again, it is necessary to insert a few statements here: I just said that reform and art were incompatible, not implying that the Guangzhou government at that time was a Communist government or that its committee members were Communists.I know nothing of these things.Only a few people who have been "fa-rectified" have not heard anyone complaining about grievances or ghosts complaining about their grievances. It must be the real Communist Party.As for some, although they got such posthumous titles from one side for a while, but later the two sides met, had a drink and chatted happily, and realized that it was all a misunderstanding before, but in fact they could have cooperated.

Necessary is over, so feel free to return to this topic.But he said that Aierjun also sent me a letter not long after, informing me that I had a job.The letter is not very long, probably still has the lingering pain of being wronged as a "counter-revolutionary".But he complained again: first, sitting him next to the rice cooker, it was very boring; second, once when he was playing the organ, an indifferent girl came to give him a bag of snacks, which made him nervous and thought Northern women are too rigid and southern women are too lively, and I can't help but "feel that it's a thing" [6].

With regard to the first point, I did not answer in my reply to the letter I wrote during the Autumn Mosquito Siege.It is human nature to feel bored and miserable when there is no rice cooker in front of your husband. If you are still bored now that you have seen the rice cooker, it is obviously a revolutionary fever.To be honest, there is a revolution in a distant place, and people I don't know are revolutionizing. I am indeed a little happy to hear it. People go to revolution, I am not so happy to hear it.Some people say that I should go all out to revolutionize, I naturally dare not disagree, but if you tell me to sit down quietly and give me a glass of canned milk to drink, I am often more grateful.However, it would be disrespectful to say that you just put your heart on it and eat it from the rice cooker. However, you can't tell him to leave the rice cooker and go to work hard, because love is my very familiar acquaintance.So I had no choice but to follow the ancient method passed down by the immortals, pretending to be deaf and dumb, and leaving them alone.He only gives a strong admonition to the second point, basically saying that since he disagrees with "rigid" and "lively", it is tantamount to advocating that women should be neither dead nor alive, which is absolutely wrong.

About a month later, I arrived in Guangzhou with a dream similar to that of love. When I sat down next to the rice cooker, he was no longer there, and perhaps he had not received my letter. I live in the most central and highest place in Sun Yat-sen University, commonly known as the "Big Bell Tower".One month later, I heard from a secretary wearing a melon cap that I realized that this was the best place to live, and people who weren't "directors" were not allowed to live there.But as soon as I moved out, I heard that a clerk lived in me. I don't know why.But when I lived there, it was always a place where non-directors were not allowed to live, so until the day I found out that the clerk had moved in, I was always grateful and ashamed.

However, this preferential treatment room is not an easy place to live, at least the disadvantage is that it is not easy to sleep.At night, more than a dozen—maybe twenty, I don't know the exact number—appeared and galloped through the literary world without caring about anything.As long as it is edible, it will eat it, and it can open the lid of the box. The rats upstairs in Sun Yat-sen University in Guangzhou, where non-directors are not allowed to live, seem to be very smart, and I have never encountered it in other places.In the early morning, some "workmates" sang loudly——songs that I didn't understand.

The young people from the province who visited during the day probably had very good intentions.There are a few people who are enthusiastic about reform and hope that I will attack Guangzhou's shortcomings vigorously.I was moved by this enthusiasm, but I finally said that I was not yet familiar with the local situation and that I had already made a revolution, so I felt that there was nothing to attack, so I gently dismissed it.That, of course, would disappoint them.A few days later, Mr. Shi Yi[7] said in "New Times": "...A few of us didn't take his words seriously. We thought we still had a lot to scold, and we were about to scold ourselves. Could it be that Mr. Lu Xun couldn't see our shortcomings?..."

Actually, what I said is half true.Why don't I want to understand Guangzhou and criticize Guangzhou? Since I was enshrined in the Great Bell Tower, the workers regard me as a professor, the students regard me as a teacher, and the Guangzhou people regard me as a "Waijiang guy". test.The biggest obstacle is words.Until the time I left Guangzhou, the only words I knew, apart from numbers such as one, two, three, four, etc., were Hanbaran (everything) and a sentence that almost all had "Waijiang guys" because they were special. Almost all those who learn foreign languages ​​are the most easily learned and remembered curse words, Tiu-na-ma.

These two sentences are also sometimes useful.That was the time when I had already moved into the apartment on Baiyun Road. One day, the policeman caught a thief who stole the electric light, and the housekeeper, Mr. Chen, scolded and beat him at the same time.There was a lot of scolding, but I only understood these two sentences from it.However, he seemed to understand everything, and thought to himself: "What he said is probably because the electric light outside the house was almost stolen by Hanbaran, so he wanted Tiu-na-ma." So it seemed that a big problem had been solved, and immediately Sit down with peace of mind, and recompile my "Legends of Tang and Song Dynasties".

But it is not known whether this is the case.It's okay to speculate privately, but it would be too reckless to talk about Guangzhou based on it. But even with only these two sentences, I discovered the mistake of my teacher, Mr. Taiyan [8].I remember that when my husband taught us philology in Japan, he once said that the "state" in "its state is on the tail" is female genitalia.This ancient saying still exists in Guangdong today, and it is pronounced as Tiu.Therefore, the word Tiuhei should be written as "zhouxi", with the noun before the verb.I don't remember whether he recorded this saying in "New Dialect" later, but from today's perspective, "zhou" is a verb, not a noun.

As for my saying that there is nothing to attack, that is indeed a lie.In fact, at that time, I had no love or hate in Guangzhou, so there was no joy, no praise or criticism.I came with a dream, and when I met reality, I was exiled from the dream, but there was some Saumer left.I think Guangzhou is a part of China after all. Although the exotic flowers and fruits and special language can confuse wanderers, it is actually similar to other places I have traveled.If we say that China is a picture drawn out of the world, the pictures of the provinces are really the same, the difference is only in the colors used.The provinces north of the Yellow River are painted in yellow and gray, Jiangsu and Zhejiang are painted in light ink and light green, Xiamen is painted in light red and gray, and Guangzhou is painted in dark green and deep red.At that time, I felt that there was no parade, so I didn't have any special scolding words, and I had to focus on frangipani and bananas. ——But maybe this is the feeling of later memories, and it was not so clear at that time. Later, however, something changed, and I often dared to say a few bad things.But what's the use?In a speech at one place, I said that the people of Guangzhou have no power, so this place can be called the “origin of revolution” or the origin of counter-revolution... When it was translated into Cantonese, I felt that these few sentences seemed to be deleted up.When making a fuss about one [9], I said that if the flag of the blue sky and white sun is planted far away, there will be more believers.But just like Mahayana Buddhism[10], when laymen[11] are also considered as disciples of the Buddha, the precepts are often lost. I don’t know whether it is the promotion of Buddhism or the corruption of Buddhism? ...But finally it didn't print out, and I don't know where to go.... The flowers and fruits in Guangdong are still peculiar in the eyes of "Waijiang guys".My favorite is "carambola", which is smooth and crisp, sour and sweet. When it is canned, it completely loses its original taste.The one from Shantou is relatively large, but it is "three cheap" [12], and it is not popular.I often publicize the merits of carambola, and most people who eat it agree that this is my most outstanding achievement this year. The second month in the bell tower, that is, when wearing the paper crown of "Dean of Academic Affairs"[13], is a busy time.The school's major events are nothing more than making up exams and starting classes, just like all other schools.So I nodded and held a meeting, arranged the timetable, issued notices, kept the questions in secret, distributed the papers, ... then held another meeting, discussed, scored, and released the results.According to the rules of the workers, there is no work after five o'clock in the afternoon, so a clerk asked the porter for help, and posted a ten-foot-long poster overnight.But by the next morning, it was torn up, so I wrote the list again.So the debate: the debate on the number of marks; the debate on whether to pass or not; the debate on whether the teacher has selfishness; He said that in me, I said it was impossible, and he said there was a legal debate; the difficulty of the test questions, I said it was not difficult, he said it was too difficult to debate; There is a debate about the privilege of preferential treatment to "oppressed nations"; there is also a metaphysical debate about the fact that people are anonymous, so there is no such thing as an impostor....Days passed like this, and each night was the gallop of a dozen—or twenty—rats, and the loud singing of the three workmen in the morning. Thinking back to the debates at that time now, how much people were joking with their limited lives.However, there was no complaint at that time, only one thing felt quite special: I gradually became a little hostile towards the long letters I received. This kind of long letter is often received, and it has never been surprising.But at this time, I gradually felt that it was too long. If I read a piece and didn't express my original intention, I would feel bored.Sometimes when I see an acquaintance nearby, I entrust him to read and tell me the purpose of the letter. "That's right. 'Writing a long letter is counter-revolutionary!'" I thought. Did I also frown like Commissioner K? I don't know since I haven't looked in the mirror.I only remember and realize that my life of meeting and debating seems to be hard to be called "revolutionary". For convenience, I amended the previous judgment: "No. 'Counter-revolutionary' is too heavy, it should be said 'not revolutionary' ’ Yes. But it’s still too heavy. In fact,—to write a long letter, it’s just too much time to eat.” Some people say that the prosperity of culture requires a certain amount of leeway. According to my experience in the bell tower, it is generally true.The culture created by idlers is naturally only suitable for idlers. It is not surprising that some people are eager to fight and complain loudly recently. In fact, even this bell tower is not strange.However, among the 400 million male and female compatriots, overseas Chinese, and foreign compatriots, some are "fed all day long and have nothing to do with their hearts" [14], and some "live in groups all day long and speak little of righteousness" [15].Why not create a considerable literature and art?Just talking about literature and art, the scope is small and easy.The conclusion can only be this: having enough spare time may not be able to create; but to create, one must have spare time.Therefore, "flowers and moons" did not come from the mouth of those who cried hunger and cold, but "single-handedly established China's literary world" [16], which is also something that hard-working pigs dare not hope for. I thought it was a good thing to say to me, I have realized that I have not written for a long time, but the haste should be blamed for this. About this time, "New Times" published another article "Where is Mr. Lu Xun hiding", written by Mr. Song Yunbin [17].There is such a warning for me in the text: "When he arrived at CUHK, not only did he not regain his courage to 'cry out', but he seemed to say that 'he was under all kinds of oppression and stimulation in the north, but here he is without oppression and stimulation, so he has nothing to say'. Hey! Strange! Mr. Lu Xun actually ran out of modern society and hid in the corner of the horns.The pain of dying from the old society and the pain of the new society are more or less placed in front of his eyes, but he turns a blind eye to them!He hid the mirror of life, he returned himself to the past era, hee hee!Strange!Mr. Lu Xun avoided it. " And the editor was very polite, stating in words that this was an article of hope and encouragement for my good intentions, not malicious ridicule.I understand this very well, and I remember being quite moved when I saw it.Therefore, I also wanted to write something as mentioned above, stating that although I am not shouting, I am debating and holding meetings. Sometimes I only eat one meal a day, and sometimes I only eat one fish, but I have not lost my courage. "On the Bell Tower" is the intended title.However, one is still due to debates and meetings, and the other is because of the two sentences of Radek[18] quoted at the beginning of the article. In addition, it aroused many mixed feelings in me. I wanted to express it very much, but finally put it aside.Those two sentences are: "In an era of the greatest social change, writers cannot be bystanders!" But Radek's words were for the suicides of Ye Suining [19] and Sopoli [20].When his article "The Homeless Artist" was translated and published in a periodical, it once made me think for a while.Therefore, I know that all revolutionary poets who have pre-revolutionary fantasies or ideals are likely to be doomed to die in the reality of the hope they sang; The revolution is still empty talk on the bulletin board.But Ye Suining and Suo Boli are understandable, they sang elegy to themselves successively, they have truth.With their own sinking, they proved the progress of the revolution.They are not bystanders after all. But when I first arrived in Guangzhou, sometimes I did feel a little well-off.A few years ago in the north, we often saw the oppressors and the hunting and killing of young people, but we couldn't see them there.It was only later that I realized that this was just a phenomenon of "revolution by order", but it was indeed a bit comfortable in the dream.If I had done "On the Bell Tower" earlier, the text might not be like this.The helplessness has come to the present, and after witnessing the fact of "overthrowing counter-revolutionaries", the pure mood at that time is really hard to follow.That's all we have to do now. BB [1] This article was originally published in the first issue of the fourth volume of Shanghai "Yusi" on December 17, 1927. [2] Bai Sheng is Sun Fuyuan (1894-1966), a native of Shaoxing, Zhejiang, who was once the editor of Beijing Morning News Supplement, Beijing News Supplement and Yusi.I was working at Xiamen University at the time. [3] Ai Er refers to Li Yu'an, a contributor to "Yusi" and "Wild Plains".In 1926, he was a staff member of Sun Yat-sen University in Guangzhou and left soon. [4] Member K refers to Gu Mengyu, a KMT politician.At that time, he was the vice chairman of the Sun Yat-sen University Committee. [5] Blok (AAAANFKO, 1880-1921) Soviet poet. "Twelve" is a long poem he created in 1918 reflecting the October Revolution.The quotation here is originally from Nadezhda Pavlovich's "Reminiscence of Blok" (see the first volume of "Phoenix Literature Art Science and Philosophy Essays", published by Moscow Bonfire Publishing House in 1922 ). 〔6〕The phrase "sentiment is the same" can be found in Wang Xizhi's Preface to the Lanting Collection in the Jin Dynasty. [7] The first corpse is Liang Shi, a native of Taishan, Guangdong, who was the editor of the supplement "New Era" of Guangzhou "National News" at that time, and degenerated into a traitor during the Anti-Japanese War.For the quotation here, see "Mr. Lu Xun in the Tea House" by him. [8] Mr. Taiyan Zhang Binglin (1869-1936), nicknamed Taiyan, was born in Yuhang, Zhejiang, a revolutionary and scholar in the late Qing Dynasty.When the author was studying in Japan, he once listened to his lecture on "Shuowen Jiezi". "New Dialect" is one of Zhang Taiyan's works on language and characters. It consists of eleven volumes. At the end of the book is "Lingwai Sanzhou Language", which is now included in "Zhang's Series". "The state is on the tail", the original language comes from "Shanhaikong Beishan Jing"; Zhang Taiyan's interpretation of the word "zhou" can be found in "New Dialect: Shi Xingti". [9] Refers to "The Side Celebrating the Overcoming of Shanghai and Nanjing", published in the supplement "New Way Out" of "National News" on May 5, 1927, now included. [10] Mahayana Buddhism is a Buddhist sect formed between the first and second centuries AD.Mahayana is for Hinayana.Theravada Buddhism advocates "self-liberation" and requires ascetic practice; Mahayana Buddhism advocates "saving all sentient beings", emphasizing that all people can become Buddhas, and all practice should be based on altruism. [11] Lay here refers to Buddhists who practice at home. 〔12〕 Sanlian is a slightly larger fruit that resembles carambola. [13] Gao Changhong, the paper crown, attacked Lu Xun in the fifth issue of "Hurricane" (November 7, 1926), "1925 Beijing Publishing Situation in the Hand", saying: "Until the actual rebels cry After Shengzhong was forced out of school...Lu Xun then put on his paper-made authoritative crown and fell into a state of physical and mental illness!" [14] See "The Analects of Confucius Yanghuo" for the phrase "eat all day long, and do nothing with your heart". [15] See "The Analects of Confucius Duke Ling of Wei" for the phrase "living in groups all day long, and words are beyond righteousness". [16] "Single-handedly established China's literary world" is what Xu Zhimo boasted of Xinyue Bookstore.When the store was founded in the spring of 1927, Xu Zhimo's poems were introduced in the "First Batch of New Book Announcement" in the "Opening Commemorative Issue", saying that he "laid the foundation of a literary world with one hand". [17] Song Yunbin (1897-1979) was born in Haining, Zhejiang, a writer.At that time, he was the editor of "Whampoa Daily". [18] Radek (KANAPIQGO, 1885-?) Soviet political commentator.He participated in the proletarian revolutionary movement in his early years and was tried in 1937 for "conspiring to overthrow the Soviet Union"."The Homeless Artist" written by him, translated by Liu Yicheng, was published in the combined issue of "China Youth" Volume VI 20th and 21st (December 1926). 〔19〕Ye Suining (CAAARSGJTJ, 1895-1925) interpreter Yesening, Soviet poet.He is famous for his lyric poems describing rural pastoral life under the patriarchal clan system. His works often reveal melancholic sentiments, and he once joined the bourgeois imagism literary group.During the October Revolution, he yearned for the revolution and wrote some poems praising the revolution, such as "Soviet Russia", but fell into depression after the revolution and finally committed suicide. 〔20〕Sopoli (AAUKVKFW, 1888-1926) Soviet "fellow traveler" writer ∷   bribe * death was close to the revolution, but in the end he committed suicide because he was dissatisfied with the reality at that time.