Chapter 4 Aria of Three Lives

Aria of Three Lives gradually The subtle factor that makes life go smoothly is "gradualness"; the Creator's means of deceiving people is also "gradualness".Unknowingly, innocent children "gradually" become ambitious youths; generous and heroic youths "gradually" become cruel adults; vigorous adults "gradually" become stubborn old men.Because its change is gradual, year by year, month by month, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, like a long-term change from a very slow slope. Walking down the hillside, people don’t notice the traces of descending, and don’t see the realm of each stage, but seem to feel that they are always in the same position, unchanging, and have the interest and value of life all the time, so life is regarded as It was sure, and the tact was done.If the progress of life is not like a hillside, but like an organ key board, suddenly shifting from do to re, it is like a child from yesterday suddenly becoming a young man today; If you are a young man in the morning and suddenly become an old man in the evening, you must be surprised, emotional, sad, or feel the impermanence of life, and you will not be happy as a human being.Therefore, we can see that life is maintained by "gradualness".This is probably especially necessary for women: in operas, the flowery girl on the stage is the old woman next to the stove in the future. This sentence is unbelievable at first glance, and the girl refuses to admit it. Girls "gradually" become.

It is also due to this “gradualness” that one is able to endure his reduced circumstances.Dumb sons of huge riches "gradually" lose their property because of repeated bankruptcies, and become poor; Being a thief... There are many examples of this kind in novels and in reality.Because its decline is extended to ten or twenty years and achieved step by step "gradually", I don't feel any strong stimulation.So even though he was suffering from hunger, cold, illness, torture, and torture, Xi Xiran was still greedy for the joy of life.If a son of a daughter suddenly becomes a beggar or a thief, this person must be very angry.

This is really the mysterious principle of nature, the subtle work of the Creator!Yin and Yang subtly shift, the order of the Spring and Autumn Dynasties, and the decline and prosperity of things all coincide with this law.From budding spring "gradually" to green summer, from withered autumn "gradually" to withered winter.Although we have experienced dozens of cold and heat, it is still difficult to imagine the summer mood of drinking ice and fanning on a winter night surrounded by a quilt; and vice versa.However, from winter to summer day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, and from summer to winter day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, There are really no obvious traces to be found.The same is true day and night: when you sit under the window and read a book in the evening, the pages will "gradually" darken. If you keep reading (sight can be gradually strengthened due to the fading of the light), you can almost always recognize the writing on the page, that is, you will not Feel that day has become night.Dawn looks at the eastern sky from the window without blinking, and does not distinguish the traces of the transition from night to day.As the children grow up gradually, the parents who see each other day and night don't feel at all that the distant relatives who rarely see each other are not acquainted with each other.On New Year's Eve last year, we waited for the daffodils to bloom under the red candles. What an idiot!If the daffodils really open up for us to see in person, then the principles of nature will be destroyed, the foundation of the universe will be shaken, and the end of the world and mankind will come!

The function of "gradual" is to conceal the traces of the past of time and the changes of things by using the method of slight and slow difference in each step, making people mistake it for unchangeable.This is really a great trick of the Creator to deceive people!Here is a metaphorical story: A certain farmer jumps over a ditch every morning when he holds a calf, goes to work in the field, and at dusk he holds a calf and jumps over a ditch to go home.This is the case every day, without interruption.After a year, the calf has grown bigger and heavier, and almost turned into a big cow, but the farmer didn't feel it at all, and still jumped into the ditch with it in his arms.One day he stopped working because of something, and the next day he could no longer hold the cow and jumped into the ditch.This is the method used by creation to deceive people and make people linger on the joys of life every day without realizing the changes and hardships.People are jumping into the ditch every day holding the cattle that are getting heavier every day, and they are not allowed to stop.I mistakenly think that it is unchanged, but in fact, my hard work is increasing every day!

I think the clock is the best symbol of life.The needle of a time clock is always considered to be "moving" at ordinary times; in fact, the needle of a time clock is the most frequently moving thing in man-made objects.The same is true of life in daily life. I always feel that I am me. It seems that this "I" will never change, but in fact it is as impermanent as the needle of a clock!There is still a breath left, I always feel that I am still me, I have not changed, I still linger in my life, and I am pitifully deceived by "gradualness"! The essence of "Jian" is "time".I think time is more incredible than space, and the music of Jude’s time art is more mysterious than the painting of space art.Because space does not investigate how vast or infinite it is, we can always grasp one end of it and identify one point.Time is completely out of control and irreversible, only the past and the future are constantly chasing each other in the vagueness.It is already slim and inconceivable in nature, and it seems to be too much in life in terms of weight.Because ordinary people's understanding of time seems to be only enough to control the short time of taking a boat or car; they are not competent for the long life span of a hundred years, and they are often obsessed with the part and cannot take into account the whole.Just look at the passengers on the train, there are often wise people, some would rather sacrifice the temporary comfort and let them sit in the old and the weak, in order to have peace of mind (or gain a temporary reputation); In the back, or shouted "Don't want to roll, there is always something to go down!"

"Everyone must get down!" However, among the long-term travelers of "life" on the big train of "society" or "world", there are few such wise people.So I think the lifespan of a hundred years is too long.Like the people in the world today, if their lifespans are determined during the period of traveling by boat and car, perhaps many dangerous and cruel battles can be reduced in human society, and the same humility and peace as in the train is unknown. Of course, there are also a few human beings who can live for a hundred years or a thousand years.That is "big personality", "big life".They can not be fascinated by "gradualness" and not deceived by creation, but can shrink the infinite time and space in the heart of a square inch.Therefore, Buddhists can accept Sumeru in mustard seeds.The ancient Chinese poet (Bai Juyi) said: "What's the matter of fighting on the snail's horn?

Send this body in the light of Shi Huo. "The British poet (Blake) also said: "See the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a flower; hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and a moment is forever." " 1925 Autumn It has been two years since my age was prefixed with the word "thirty".I, who was puzzled by philosophy, received a lot of hints and influences from these two words.Although I obviously feel that my physique and energy are no different from those at the age of twenty-nine, but the concept of "thirty" hangs over my head, like a parasol, covering my whole body with a dim light. Shadows, it seems that after the beginning of autumn has been torn out on the calendar, although the sun's power has not diminished, and the heat on the cold and heat table has not diminished, it is only the lingering power and the lingering heat, or the forerunner of the fall of frost, The seasons of the earth have been handed over to autumn from now on.

In fact, my mood in the past two years is the easiest to reconcile and blend with autumn.This situation is different from before.In previous years, I only admired spring.I like willows and swallows most.I especially like the tender willows that have just been dyed light yellow.I used to call my residence "Little Willow House", and I drew many pictures of willows and swallows, and I picked long willows and mounted them on thick paper to form eyebrows of various styles. The person's face, and under it add the eyes, nose and mouth.At that time, every early spring, at the turn of the first lunar month and the second lunar month, when I saw thin beads hanging on the lines of willow branches, with a faint blue color and "seeing from a distance but not seeing", my heart was filled with a kind of ecstasy. This ecstasy immediately turned into anxiety, as if it often said: "Spring is here! Don't let it go! Hurry up and try to entertain it, enjoy it, and keep it forever." move.Thinking that the ancients lamented the wasted spring, there is a lesson to be learned!Never let it go empty in my hands.Especially when I met the Cold Food Ching Ming Festival, which was most regretted by the ancients, the anxiety in my heart became even worse.On that day, I always wanted to have a kind of celebration that would fully reward this festival.I am going to write poems, paint pictures, or drink and roam.Although most of them are not implemented; or they are implemented without any effect, and instead they get drunk, cause trouble, and get unpleasant memories in exchange; but I am never discouraged, and I always feel that spring is lovely.

It seems that I only know spring in my heart, and the other three seasons are regarded as preparations for spring, or as a rest time for spring, and I have never noticed their existence and significance.And for autumn, I have no feeling: because summer continues behind spring, I can regard it as a surplus of spring; winter precedes spring, and I can treat it as a preparation for spring; only autumn has nothing to do with spring , it has never had a place in my heart. Since my age reached the beginning of autumn, my state of mind has completely changed in the past two years, and it has also become autumn.But the situation is different: not in the autumn feeling the ecstasy and anxiety of the old days.I just feel that when autumn comes, my mood is very harmonious.Not only does he not have that kind of ecstasy and anxiety, but he is often attracted by the autumn wind, autumn rain, autumn colors and autumn light and melts into the middle of autumn, temporarily losing his place.And for spring, I am not indifferent to autumn like I used to be.I am very disgusted with spring now.Whenever Vientiane rejuvenates, seeing the beauty of flowers, the disturbance of bees and butterflies, and the state of plants and insects scrambling to reproduce everywhere, I feel that there is no such thing as mediocrity, greed, shamelessness, and ignorance in the world. !Especially when I was young, seeing the faint green beads hanging on the willow branches and the little red spots on the peach branches made me feel ridiculous and pitiful.I want to wake up a stamen and say to it: "Ah! You have come to repeat this old tune too! I have seen your countless ancestors born like you, all striving to develop and strive for glory; Don't haggard but turn into dust. Why do you bother to repeat this old tune? Now that you have grown this evil root, the future will see you coquettish and charming, pretending to be smiling and frowning, which incurs the pain of being ravaged, destroyed, and twisted. In the footsteps of your ancestors!"

In fact, those who have greeted and sent off the coming and going of spring more than thirty times have long been tired of seeing flowers, their feelings have become numb, their enthusiasm has cooled, and they will never again be attracted by the illusion of flowers like a young girl who has just seen the world. Praise it, sigh it, pity it, and cherish it if you are tempted.Moreover, nothing in the world can escape the principles of prosperity and decline, prosperity and decline, birth and death, and existence and non-existence.Past history clearly proves this point, and we need not repeat it.

Countless poets throughout the ages have spent their words in the same way to cherish the sorrow of spring, and this kind of effect is also disgusting.If I were to say nothing about life and death in this world, I would consider life and death insignificant, and would rather rejoice in admiring all death and death.Regarding the greed, ignorance, and cowardice of the former, how humble, enlightened, and great the attitude of the latter is!My choice between spring and autumn is also for this reason. When Natsume Soseki was 30 years old, he once said: "When you are 20 years old, you know the benefits of life; at 25 years, you know that where there is light, there must be darkness; as for today, at the age of 30, you know that where there is much light, there is also much darkness." When joy is thick, sorrow is also heavy." I feel the same about this saying now; at the same time, I feel that the characteristics of thirty are not limited to this end, and what is more special is the sense of death.When young people fail in love, they are used to talking about life and death, but this is just a matter of knowing "death", not a sense of body.It's like drinking ice and fanning your fans on a summer day, but you can't feel the winter night surrounded by a fireplace and quilt.Even those of us who have experienced more than 30 degrees of cold and heat, under the scorching sun of the past few days, we can't feel the taste of sunbathing.Sitting around the fireplace, embracing quilts, bathing in the sun, etc., are just a kind of empty knowledge in the hearts of summer people. They just know that there will be these things in the future, but it is impossible to feel their taste.Xude has entered autumn, the scorching sun has exhausted its power and gradually receded, the sweat-soaked skin gradually shrinks, wearing single clothes seems to be shivering, and when the flannel feels comfortable to the touch, one sits around the stove and hugs a quilt Knowledge such as bathing day, bathing day and so on can be gradually integrated into the experience world and turned into body sensation.After my age passed the beginning of autumn, the most special state in my mind was the physical feeling of "death".I used to be so careless!I thought that spring can always be in the world, and people can stay young forever, but I never thought of death at all.I also think that the meaning of life is only to live, and my life is the most meaningful, as if I will not die.Until now, under the guidance of the benevolent light of autumn, and nurtured by the aura of death, I know the joys and sorrows of life. This is an old tune that has been repeated billions of times in the world, so why cherish it?All I want is a safe deliverance and escape from this life, just like a crazy person, what is the confusion in the illness?But just ask him to get rid of his illness. I was about to finish writing, when suddenly black clouds filled the west window, a flash of lightning flashed in the sky, there was a faint sound of thunder, and a burst of autumn rain mixed with hail suddenly fell.what!It turns out that the beginning of autumn has not been many days, and the heart of autumn is immature but not mature, so it is inevitable that there will still be such incongruity, which is terrible! Autumn 1929 Ananda In previous years, my wife suffered from miscarriage.In the middle of the night, the six-inch-long child left the mother's body and was born silently.The doctor wrapped him in gauze, held him out for me to see, and said: "A very decent boy! The fingers and claws are all complete, but it's a pity that he came a little early!" When I was peeping from the doctor's hand in amazement, the piece of flesh suddenly moved, the chest jumped, and the limbs stretched simultaneously, Like the struggle of a dying frog.The doctor and I were surprised and watched for a long time with bated breath. The piece of flesh stopped moving, and then gradually became cold. well!This is not a piece of meat, this is a living being, a person.He is one of my sons, and I want to name him: because Abao, Axian, Azhan, and his mother suffered for him before him, the name is "Ananda." Ananda's body was brought to the doctor. To put in a preservative glass bottle; Ananda's jump is imprinted on my heart. Ananda!One hop is your life!How careless is your life?How short is thy life?How shallow is my relationship with your father and son? But this is all my imagination.There is no big difference between me and you. A seven-foot body in tens of millions of light years and decades in endless catastrophe are called "life".Since I was born, this "life" has been repeated tens of millions of times, all of which flashed like a bubble in the pan, and now it's my turn to repeat it.So even if I live to be a hundred years old, there is no difference from your jump in the catastrophe.Today I lament your short life is really a laughing stock. Ananda!I no longer feel sad for you, but I want to praise your life's innocence and wisdom.It turns out that this me is no longer the real me.All kinds of phenomena in the world created by human beings have confused my mind and concealed my true nature. I have gradually become accustomed to life on the turbulent earth, taking it as a matter of course and not taking it as a surprise.In fact, when I fell to the ground, my nature has been completely lost.I tried to read "Xi Qing San Ji", regarding these numbers in Shi Zhenlin's preface: "When Yu Chu was born, my husband's sky was suddenly bright and then dark, and his family said: day and night. It's strange that my wife is there and then there is no more, saying: Life and death also.Teach Yu Bie Xing, saying: "Which is a skip;From birth to growth, those who are dark, bright, present, and absent gradually become the same.It is a little pathetic for those who raise their spirits to the void and look down on them when they are in chaos, and feel that there is no light or dark at all. "I was very moved, I was so sad, I looked up to the sky and breathed deeply. I used to praise your sister Bao and brother Zhan, saying how innocent and natural their children's lives are, how innocent and clear their hearts are, and I love them Dare not to look. But how can they compare with you, they regard you as much as I regard them. Although their lives are innocent and natural, and their eyes are innocent and clear; but they have the knowledge of this world after all. , by the temptations of this world, stained with the colors of this world, a thin layer of fog has covered their innocence and clarity. Your life is completely free from the dust of this world. You are completely innocent and natural , Innocent, clear life. People in the world originally had innocent and clear lives like you. As soon as they entered the world, they were like falling into a chaotic dream. The hometown of life. What a ignorant stupidity this is! Your life is only one jump, you cleanly end your life in the world in a second, and you will be freed immediately when you fall to the ground. Dare to hope for your innocence and wisdom? I used to watch the innocent children's life of your sister Bao, sister Zhan, and brother Zhan, and I regretted that their golden age was about to pass away. Have you completed a life of great significance and value?" But now that you think about it, the so-called "children's paradise" and "children's paradise" are actually very poor and humble, and they are only worthy of the envy of those who are exhausted from the world. , What's the point?Wouldn't it be better for you to jump from life to death and never suffer from floating life?In the catastrophe, life is just a jump.I catch a glimpse of all life in one leap of yours. However, this is still my delusion.The birth and death of human beings in the universe is like the ups and downs of the waves in the ocean.Big waves and small waves are nothing more than the changes of the sea, and all return to the sea. All phenomena in the world are manifestations of the great life of the universe.Ananda!The relationship between you and me is not weak, you are me, and I am you: it doesn't matter you and me!