Chapter 10 Proverbs 141~160

141．don't just listen to yourself What's the use of pleasing yourself if you can't please others?Complacency can only reap contempt.When you lend money to yourself, you owe someone else money.Self-importance and self-importance will not have good results.Talking to yourself is madness; listening to yourself in front of others is madness and stupidity.Some people keep their backs and keep asking others, "Am I right?" or, "You know what?" They expect approval or flattery from others, and they question their own judgment.People with high vanity also like to hear responses when they speak.They craved applause when they talked, and it was the fools who yelled "Well said!"

142．Don't make excuses for being stubborn Never stubbornly hold back just because your opponent happened to get there first and picked the right side.Because of this, you will be defeated before the battle, and return with shame and humiliation.Wrong and evil are never rivals of good.It is the cunning of the opponent to get the best first, and it would be foolish for you to defend the worst.It is more dangerous to act stubbornly than to be strong with words, because there are more risks in action than in words.Out of vulgarity and ignorance, stubborn people love to contradict and abandon the truth, prefer to argue and ignore efficacy.The prudent man is always in league with reason, and not with passion, either because he foresees its advantage, or because he corrects his position afterwards.If your opponent is stupid, he will change direction, switch sides, and spoil himself.You yourself have the upper hand and can bring him down.His stupidity will cause him to give up his advantage, and his stubbornness will cause him to lose.

143．Don't play sophistry in order to avoid vulgarity Popularity and sophistry are both disreputable.Anything that jeopardizes our dignity is foolish.A sophistry is a deceit that at first sounds plausible and shocks the mind by its provocation and novelty, but then, when its pretense is exposed, disgraces itself.Its hypocrisy has its own charm, and it can destroy the country politically.Those who cannot show themselves to the world through virtue take the path of paradox and sophistry, surprising fools and making wise men prophets.Sophistry shows unsound judgment, and an ignorance of prudence in words and deeds.It is based on hypocrisy and fickleness, and it puts self-esteem at risk.

144．Start with retreat, end with victory This strategy can make your wish come true.Even when it comes to matters as important as heaven, Christian teachers recommend this god-given trick.This disguise is extremely important because you can use it to manipulate the will of others.By showing that you put his interests first, you are actually paving the way for your own interests.Do not put the cart before the horse and panic, especially when it comes to risk.Be careful with people who say "no" right away.The best policy is to conceal your intentions so that they don't have a hard time saying yes, especially if you've sensed their resistance.This maxim is comparable to those about hidden intentions, and requires equally subtle, nuanced skill.

145．Hide your hurt finger or it'll run around Remember not to complain and complain.Slander is always aimed at our sore spots or weaknesses.A disheartened, dejected look will only invite people to make fun of you.The sinister heart is always looking for ways to make you angry, it finds your pain in a devious way, and it finds ways to sting your wound.If you are wise, you should ignore the hints of ill intentions, and keep your personal troubles or family worries deep, because even the goddess of fate sometimes likes to touch you where you are sore, and often goes directly to where you are already bruised. .That which you are ashamed of, or that which excites and encourages you, is to be concealed, lest the former be perpetuated and the latter perish.

146．go deep into it, see the essence Things are often different from what they appear to be, and what ignorance sees is only the surface; people often feel disillusioned after they have penetrated into it.In everything, deception comes first, followed by ignorance, showing its vulgarity and mediocrity.The truth often comes late, stumbling along with time, and finally arrives.The prudent one knows that while thanking Mother Nature for her two ears, she always leaves one ear to hear the truth.Deceit is superficial, but shallow people are still eager to crave it.Discerning the truth requires retreat and contemplation, so the wise and prudent never rush to judge.

147．don't be difficult to approach No one is perfect enough not to need some well-timed advice.People who don't listen to other people's opinions are hopelessly stupid.Even the most maverick should heed well-meaning advice.Even the highest kings are happy to take advantage of others.Some people are unapproachable and old habits die hard, so they often fall when they stumble because no one is close enough to help them.Even the most rigid and obstinate people should leave the door of friendship wide open so that kind assistance can enter.We all need a pure friend who can scold us freely and give us advice.We trust him, and respect his fidelity and prudence, and we give him this authority.We will never indiscriminately impose respect and prestige on others. However, deep down in our hearts, we need a confidant who can be a mirror. If we cherish this mirror, we will not be deceived.

148．good at words The art of conversation is the measure of a person's true character.No human activity requires such caution, because nothing is more common.But our success or failure depends on it.Letters are deliberate and penned conversations, and we are to be cautious; practical conversations are still more careful, for caution is immediately tested.An expert can grasp the thread of his thoughts as soon as he moves his tongue.The sage said: "Listen to his words, and you will know his person." For some people, the art of conversation is that there is no art at all, just like dressing loose and comfortable.This kind of situation is common in the small talk among friends; but in a more refined atmosphere, the conversation becomes deep and reveals people's insights from time to time.If you want to have a successful conversation, you need to adjust yourself to reach a tacit understanding with the temperament and intelligence of the other party. You should not be too picky about the rhetorical expressions of others, otherwise you will be suspected of grammatical pedantry, or worse, be regarded as a sentence checker .This will invite hostile avoidance from others, and you will not be able to talk to people.Besides, careful speech is more important than eloquence.

149．blame others It is wise for those who govern others to avoid malicious slander by holding others accountable.It is not because of your weakness that others are blamed for failure and attacked by gossip: although malicious people think so.In fact, your dodging is a matter of good manners.It is impossible for everything to be satisfactory, and it is impossible for all people to be satisfied with you.That being the case, find a scapegoat whose ambition will make him a target. 150．good sales Inner quality alone is not enough, because not all people are able to appreciate or pursue inner value.People tend to conform: they go somewhere because they see other people going there too.Demonstrating the value of a thing requires great skill: it can be praised, because it can arouse desire in others; sometimes it can be praised (but remember to avoid affectation).Another tactic is to claim to sell only to those who are experts, because everyone believes he is an expert, and even if he is not, he would like to be.Never extol the simplicity of an item, it will only make it appear vulgar and accessible.Everyone seeks to be different, and being different can impress people with taste and elegance, and it can also attract people with extraordinary intelligence.

151．long-term plan Plan today for tomorrow, and even for many days to come.The best foresight is to be prepared.Those who encounter warnings in advance will not be hit by bad luck; those who prepare in advance will not fall into embarrassment.Do not wait to use your reason until you are faced with difficulties, but use your reason to anticipate difficulties that are yet to come.When difficulties come, you need to think again.Pillow is a tongueless witch. Rather than being unable to sleep because of something on my mind, it is better to settle the matter and sleep soundly.Some people think in hindsight: doing so is looking for an excuse for failure, not a result of success.Others don't think before and after.A person's life is to constantly think about the goal to be achieved.Having a foresight beforehand, and thinking about things carefully is the long-term plan for a rainy day.

152．Don't be in the company of people who make you less talented Whether it's because they're superior or because they're incompetent.The more perfect a person is, the more respected he is.If others are always far ahead and you are just behind, then even if you earn people's respect, it will be nothing but leftovers.When the moon hangs alone in the sky, it can compete with the stars for brilliance, but when the sun comes out, it loses its brilliance and is no longer prominent, or even disappears altogether.So don't be around people who make you look bad, but surround yourself with people who reflect you.It is for this reason that the clever Fabra in Marshall's poem is so beautiful and radiant among her humble and unkempt maids.Don't trouble yourself, and don't demean yourself to add to the glory of others.When you are young, you should make more handsome friends and wise friends, but when you are an adult, you should be with ordinary people. 153．Don't fill the space left by giants Don't try to fill the space left by the giants, and if you have to, make sure you have greater talent for the job.Just to be equal to the predecessors, you need twice the talent of the predecessors.It takes a lot of thought to make people appreciate you more than those who come after you;It is not easy to fill in a large gap, because the past is often not the present.It is not enough to be on the same level as the predecessors, because the pioneers have already taken advantage of the scenery.To dispel the aura of the predecessors, one must have an extraordinary genius. 154．Don't believe it, don't take it lightly Mature judgment will not be credulous.Lies are common, so let credulity be rare.Rushing to judgement often leads to embarrassment and, consequently, to paralysis.But don't openly question the honesty of others.When you call someone a liar, or claim that he has been duped, you add insult to injury on top of his pain.There is an even bigger danger: distrusting others raises doubts about your honesty.The liar suffers doubly: he neither dares to believe nor is believed.A careful listener does not rush to judgment.As one writer advises us: Even love should not be rushed into.People can lie with words and deeds, and the latter kind of deceit is more harmful. ① Refers to Cicero, a famous orator in ancient Rome 155．be good at controlling your passion Whenever possible, let thought and reflection anticipate sudden passions, as it is easy for prudent people to do.When you are upset, the first thing to do is to be aware of it.Take control of your emotions first and resolve not to exacerbate them.With this kind of skilful defense, anger can be stopped very quickly.Know how to control your anger, and stop when you need to stop: it is hardest to stop when you are running; it is equally difficult to keep your head clear when you are furious.Excessive excitement, no matter how high or low, affects reason.Once you have this awareness of anger, it will not cause you to lose control of your anger, nor will it impair your good discernment.By carefully harnessing your emotions, you can manage them well.You will be the first sane person on horseback, and possibly the last. ① There is a Spanish proverb: "There is no wise man on horseback." 156．choose friends The choice of a friend requires careful examination, the test of fate, both willpower and understanding should be tested in advance to see whether they are trustworthy.This is the key to success or failure in life, but the world has seldom bothered about it.While meddling can lead to friendships, most friendships are purely chance.You are judged by your friends: a wise man is never in the company of a fool.Being happy with someone does not mean that he is a confidant.Sometimes we don't have confidence in a person's talent, but can still speak highly of his sense of humor.There are friendships that are impure but that bring joy; others that are sincere and rich in content and that breed success.The insight of one friend is worth more than the blessings of many.Therefore, friends should be carefully selected, not casually made.A wise friend will drive away sorrow, but a foolish friend will gather sorrow.Also, if you want your friendship to last forever, don't always expect your friend to get promoted and get rich. 157．Don't get the wrong person There is nothing worse than being deceived.It is better to be deceived by the price of the goods than to be deceived by the quality of the goods.This is the kind of thing that requires the utmost care.There is a difference between identifying goods and identifying people.It is a great art to be able to discern the temperament of others and distinguish their temperament.The study of human nature should be read as thoroughly as a book. 158．make good use of friends This requires skill and judgment.Some friends need to be close, while others need to be far away.A friend who is not good at talking may be good at writing letters.Distance purifies the intolerable imperfection of being near.Making friends should not only be for happiness, but also for practicality.A friend is everything.The three characteristics of any good thing in the world, friendship has both: truth, kindness, and single-mindedness.Good friends are hard to find, and even harder to find if you don't choose.Keeping old friends is more important than making new ones.When making friends, you should find a long-lasting friend. If you find the right person, a new friend today will become an old friend in another year.The best friends are those who last forever, with whom you can share life experiences.Life without friends is a wasteland.Friendship doubles the joys and halves the pains; it is the sure cure for adversity, the wine that soothes the soul. 159．know how to put up with stupid people The wise are the most impatient, for learning reduces their patience.Knowledgeable people are hard to please.Russian Titus tells us that the most important rule of life is to know how to bear everything.He thinks this is half the truth of wisdom.Tolerating stupidity takes a lot of patience.Sometimes the people who cause us the most pain are the ones we rely on the most, and this helps us overcome ourselves.Patience brings immeasurable peace of mind; and peace of mind is a blessing in the world.He who does not know how to put up with others should be alone if he can put up with himself. 160．Caution Talk to your opponent with prudence; talk to others with dignity.It is easy to speak out, but never to take it back.Talking is like writing a will, the less words, the less disputes.Pay attention to the way you talk about small things, and you can deal with big things with ease.Secrets have a sacred feel.A quick talker can easily fail.