Chapter 40 Daughter-in-law experience

Daughter-in-law experience I have been a daughter-in-law for almost ten years, and my grades can't be said to be good, but fortunately, they are not too bad.My mother is a well-known filial daughter-in-law in the city. She has been filial to her all her life, but she has never been filial to her grandmother's conscience, so I became discouraged and determined not to be a filial daughter-in-law.Unexpectedly, after passing through the family, my parents-in-law are all particular about genetics. They believe that a woman must be like her mother, and they regard my habit of offering peace and tea as usual as an expression of filial piety. Well, I couldn't bear to be broken, so I changed my policy and decided to be a good wife.

To be a good daughter-in-law, of course you need some good skills, so the first thing that reminds me is the Tang poem "Three Days under the Kitchen".It's common for me to cook, and I don't think it's dirty, but the purpose of my cooking is always to make the meal delicious, not to wash my hands to make soup.From the age of six to ten, I was a day student. At that time, I was still young, and my mother didn't ask me to cook. At most, I helped divide the chopsticks, spoons and plates when eating.In the autumn when I was ten years old, I went to live in school. At first, I passed the kitchen and didn’t enter. Later, when I became a sixth-grade student, I also went to pester the cook, such as calling him a few times: "Old beard, steal food. "And so on—the cook was annoyed.Then I scolded, and I wanted to tell my husband, so I ran out with a smile. I was a canteen expert in junior high school. When I finished eating, I would catch a fly and put it in the bottom of the bowl. If you make a fuss, the result is often that you come back victorious with a hot "Punishment".Entering high school is busy saving the country, so that the gentleman is far away from the kitchen, and has no intention of eating and drinking.University meals are taken care of by themselves. There are many snack bars in front of the school, and the business is extremely busy, and the meals are overwhelming.Therefore, customers can be divided into two categories, one is that there are seats but no meals, and the other is that there are meals but no seats.The kind of people who sit outside and wait all the time are rushing to get a seat but can't grab the food; those who squeeze into the kitchen, squeeze behind the cook's shoulder to watch him cook, can watch him while he is holding the bowl and serving the food. At the same time, the surprise soldiers attack and grab the bowls with their hands. It doesn't matter who is the first or who ordered the dishes. As long as they grab the dishes and the rice is ready-made, they can stand in the corner outside and eat them. This kind of people are Grab the food but not the seat.Lai and seat are incompatible, and I often prefer to abandon the latter and take the former.And in fact, the cook is also willing to make it easier for the girls. If the boys always stand behind his shoulder to watch, he will viciously pick up the long-handled copper spoon to scoop up some rolls and throw them over, scaring them so much that they can't escape. Girls are always densely crowded, forming a semicircle. At that time, he seemed to work harder, using his skilled techniques to cook bowls of vegetables.We call this time "cooking class".I have taken cooking classes for a few years and learned how to cook a scrambled egg. When I was a daughter-in-law, I naturally showed off my only skill. I bought a fried chicken and tried it for my sister-in-law. I didn’t say anything. ?After researching it, it turned out that the salt was not mixed well when the egg was stirred, and the side that was tasted by my sister-in-law was okay, but the rest was unbearably salty.

Second, it's the turn of female celebrities. "Chicken crowing crew, never sleep every night."I can't take it anymore, I can't make clothes or shoes, I can only knit wool.The woolen sweaters I knitted for my in-laws are loose and soft, and I don't think they will be uncomfortable to wear.It’s just that the length and size can’t be just right—because my parents-in-law are no better than my parents, I can’t bother them anytime and ask them to sample—they didn’t say anything when they wore it, but my sister-in-law was too picky, and my maid failed again. . Because my filial piety was not good enough, my filial piety was compromised invisibly, and I was really annoyed. On the one hand, I also regretted that I was too ignorant of family affairs when I was young, and now what I learned is not useful, making heroes useless.Fortunately, my parents-in-law also saw this, and they thought they should tell me to do something else!So here comes the opportunity:

First, my mother-in-law asked me to write a letter for me.She said: "Your father-in-law is getting old, and his hands tremble when he writes. I heard that the handwriting is very good, so you can write the letter for me." The look of jealousy and joy disappeared again.The mother-in-law said, "Just write it like this: When Yunguan went to Meilixi, he made Rongsheng's bad eyes and said that there were more than 200 yuan in the previous year, so the land price was not brought." I dare not interrupt her. , After finally waiting for her to finish this sentence, she quickly interjected and asked, "Mama, who is this letter addressed to? Because the letter must first have a title." She replied indifferently: "Of course it is for Officer Yun. Yes, and I don’t have a second relative, ""Who is that... that Yun... Yunguan?" Panic, I don't know what's going on, but I heard my sister-in-law sneer: "Sister-in-law called uncle's name, I'm afraid it's not appropriate!" Only then did I know that was the case, thinking that I didn't know that Yunguan was you Uncle, but after careful consideration, there is no need to explain, I should bow my head and confess my guilt, so I picked up the pen and wrote again, but the question came again: how to write the three characters Meilimo?What should Rongsheng Rotten Eye be called?What is the price of the field?If these technical terms are spelled wrong, people will not understand them, and sooner or later a joke will make a fool of itself, so it's better to ask in advance.But the mother-in-law is not very literate; she turned to my sister-in-law, who curled her lips and said, "The college students don't know how to write, so I will know?" So the mother-in-law paused for a long time, and said unhappily: "Leave it alone, or call you Eunuch write it."

My father-in-law is a polite person, so he doesn't despise my "knowledge" from now on.Sometimes he asked me to calculate the accounts of salt stores, southern goods stores, and silk stores. The numbers on the old-style booklets were all cursive.Therefore, there are very few places where he needs my help.Even writing the word "He Yi" on the red paper bag, because my calligraphy is too bad, I have to let him write it himself. I am so ashamed. Sometimes after dinner, he would chat with me, and he would ask me some common sense in astrology and Chinese medical books. I don't know either, so he sighed and said: "You are mostly reading foreign books in the school. It's not your fault. After reading it, you have to teach. The last time Zhen'er was arguing to go to the school, I said no. Women are always housekeeping."

I don't know how to run a house, and I don't even know how to help each other. I have to go out to teach.All the money I earn goes to my own pockets, and I feel sorry for myself when I return home to eat their ready-made tea and rice.So I often buy some ginseng clothes to honor them, and of course I often give them to my sister-in-law.I can teach, and my parents-in-law are happy to see me, even though they don't want to use my money.But my sister-in-law became even more jealous. She was not grateful for the things I gave her, but hated me for eating ready-made tea and rice, while she had to go to the kitchen to help with things.Later, she said to my in-laws that I would confuse men and women when I was doing things outside. My mother-in-law thought it was good, and told my father-in-law that she would stop me from going out again. My father-in-law thought it was too boring for me to live at home. Let my husband and I come to Shanghai to start a small family. At that time, I could do whatever I wanted at home or work.

I came to Shanghai under their order, and I have not lost my qualifications to be a filial daughter-in-law.Moreover, I have held the family here for seven or eight years. I have eaten raw rice, eaten clothes, been bullied by aunts, stolen by thieves, and suffered all kinds of hardships. I really feel that I should live with them and learn to be filial The daughter-in-law is kind, so I took them all out.As for my sister-in-law, she is already married now, and she knows the hardships of being a daughter-in-law after being a daughter-in-law. She always complains to her parents when she comes home, saying that her parents-in-law look down on her for not being educated and not going out to earn money. I can't keep up with the entertainment on big occasions, and I only cook and do needlework at home. These are the duties of the old mother.She wanted to start a small family with her husband outside, but they didn't allow it.

She envies me.I am now able to manage the family so-so, and my in-laws are still satisfied with me. Based on my past experience, I think a daughter-in-law should pay attention to the following points: One, the most important thing to treat your parents-in-law is "respect". The courtesy is good, even if they don't like you in their hearts, they have to return the courtesy to you in order to save face.In other words, to respect your in-laws is to respect yourself. Second, sisters-in-law and uncles can communicate better, otherwise, you should try your best to endure and avoid confrontation, but just ignore them indifferently, and your parents-in-law can't blame you.

Three, don't talk too much, this is a necessary condition for a good daughter-in-law.It is difficult to blame because of a bad attitude, but if you say a sentence wrong, it will give others a reason. Fourth, always show that you are a person of good background, never tell about your natal family, relatives of your natal family, and your own shortcomings. Unless you can't hide those, let them know for a long time, there is nothing they can do.Moreover, you must not tell your natal family, or your natal relatives have any disagreements with you. Fifth, relatives in the husband's family should be very polite and respectful.

Sixth, don't show too much intimacy with your husband in front of your parents-in-law; don't show too much affection for your children. Seventh, always imply that they themselves can be filial daughters-in-law, and they can stop filial piety when necessary, if they really don't know how to flatter them. Among these seven items, the first and last two are the most important, if you don't pay attention to it, you will suffer the loss of filial piety, just like my mother.Gai's parents-in-law are no better than their parents, they have no natural love, they can't say "filial piety", they can only talk about "filial piety". For example: "Parents can give cod liver oil and eggs on their birthdays, but parents-in-law have to give ginseng and longan on their birthdays. Although we know the nourishing effect of longan Never clear cod liver oil.And in front of parents-in-law, you must try your best to suppress emotions of joy, anger, sorrow and joy, be more self-respecting and less admonishing, and of course you don't have to be so restrained in front of your parents.Many people can't help but have prejudices. If your parents are deaf, it doesn't matter if you speak louder to them.But if your parents-in-law are hard of hearing, you have to ask them to ask more questions, otherwise it will sound like you are shouting at them.

As for the expression of the last article, it is even more necessary, but it must be well expressed.I believe that at the beginning of human beings, nature is low, and it is not surprising that filial piety is used to it. Some people say that the wife of a family who is afraid of his wife often suffers from anger.Being filial to your parents-in-law is for your own benefit, not a sincere petition. If you endure unreasonable torture because of your filial piety, like my mother, then I advise you not to be a filial daughter-in-law who earns money, and go out and organize a small Let’s make a family, or you can make a living alone, and you don’t have to say anything about your parents-in-law at that time, just always “respect ghosts and gods and stay away”.