Chapter 39 mother's hope

mother's hope Yesterday I carried Lingling to my mother, the child would urinate for a while, and beg for sweets for a while, and would pester others, the mother looked at me pitifully, felt wronged for me, and sighed with emotion: "Being a woman is always troublesome." Right? I have worked so hard to read to you for more than ten years, hoping this way, hoping that way, but in the end I still sit at home and raise a child!" I was being pissed off by the child, and when I heard my mother nagging and looking down on others, I couldn't help but talk back: Mao Mo, what about you?It’s not that grandma has been reading books to you for ten years, but she still sits at home and raises us. There is no hope or not. "

"It's good for you," my mother was so angry that her lips trembled, and she simply contradicted me. ——Let me tell you: why am I still sitting at home raising you?It was all tricked by your damn father!At that time, he had just returned from the United States, coaxing me to say that foreign couples are absolutely equal and cooperate with each other. Isn't it easier for two people to work together than to do it alone?So we got married, a civilized wedding.He works in a bank, and I don't understand business at all, so of course I can't help.I was studying normal science, and he thought the teacher was too worthless, not only refused to lose my position in the bank to cooperate with me, but even if I wanted to do it alone, he would not let me go out.He lied to me and said that he will talk about it when he notices other good positions.But soon the first child was born.I was breastfeeding myself, and I was busy all day long, so I had to put aside my troubles for the time being, and decided to wait until the child was older.Unexpectedly, the second one and the third one came one after another, and I soon became thirty or forty years old.At that time, I had the opportunity, and I was ashamed that I had no experience, so I dared not try again.But I have a hope in my heart, that is, I hope you can wake up as soon as possible, and stop taking marriage and raising children as a lifelong career.No matter what you do, it's better than this. I already hate the family affairs of oil, salt, firewood and rice. "

"Maybe it's because you haven't done anything else?" I wanted to object to her: "A tailor hates being a tailor, a cook is a good cook, a rower hates rowing, and a manure picker hates pickering manure." , They all hope that their sons will stop taking rulers, kitchen knives, wood pulp, and dung buckets as a lifelong career, and who believes that taking care of these things will be better than housekeeping and children?" "But a college student like you can't be a tailor or a scumbag when you go out and do things." "Yes, I might be able to be a middle school teacher." I couldn't help but smile wryly, "but is it good to be a middle school teacher? I take chalk and write on the blackboard all day long, and I teach the Ministry of Education. The approved book, the class scheduled by the Academic Affairs Office, the salary may not be enough to buy a coat and leather shoes. Autumn is here, and I start knitting sweaters for the headmaster’s wife. There is no female teacher who does not hate the headmaster’s wife, and they knit for her However, she hid in the principal's office to discuss the issue of salary deduction for teachers' absence.

"You don't have to be sarcastic," my mother suddenly changed the subject, "it's not bad to be a professional writer, is it?" "Writing articles may be fun, but when it comes to selling a job, it's still boring. First of all, you have to go through the eyes of the bookstore owner, and that eye is based on business clothes. The quality of an article lies in whether it sells well or not, and the author's size is different. Depending on the amount of royalties, the production of works has the appearance of producing new medicines. Meizhuo Kexing, Gujing Tablets, Bushen Pills, Yangyang Nourishing Pills, etc. are most in line with social needs, and the profits are stable. If you don’t know this kind of professional The secret is that people say flowers and willows are the first and you come to study the brain, cerebellum, neurovascular and so on. Not only can you not make money, but you also have to beware of accusing others of disregarding the lower class and betraying the reproductive public. If you get such crimes From now on, editors who are in the nature of journalists will not be willing to brag and sell for you, unless you can prove that blood vessels are egg tubes, and brain juice is equal to semen."

Mother frowned, sighed for a long while and said: "Unexpectedly, you feel that you are incompetent, you can't do this, you can't bear that, it makes me hope for nothing." "Your hope is up to you to try to achieve it yourself," I became very upset, "there is no obligation to take your hope as your hope. To be honest, according to the current situation, it is by no means difficult for women to find a job. It is more profitable to raise children at home. Because men have more obligations to the family and less rights, they are like green ducks fishing. As soon as they catch fish, they are choked by women, and most of them are vomited out to support others."

"In this way, you are the one who would rather sit at home and choke other people's throats and grab fish to eat. You are a dependent person with no ambition! Alas, I really can't imagine that the hopes of many generations of mothers still can't break the family system..." "You needn't worry about that," I interrupted her hastily. "Sooner or later the family system will be abolished, or at least greatly reformed. But it's the men's wish. Don't you hear that Shouting for women's independence, have women been liberated? I just cling to women and refuse to let go, so it has been delayed for some time. Really, only men who are overwhelmed by the burden of the family will enthusiastically advocate The feminist movement hopes that men and women can be equal and that women can make a living by themselves. Nora is Ibsen's ideal, not Mrs. Ibsen's. They just hope that it is enough to promote women out of the family, and who cares about your mother in the future But, mother, as a woman yourself, how can you trust people's gossip and run out of the family, out of the family without waiting for a reasonable social environment to be prepared?"

"You're still a child," the mother laughed softly, with a smug gleam in her eyes. "Do you think society can become completely reasonable all at once? Never, my child, and never! If we can all believe in an ideal, father dies and sons succeed, generation after generation, Just spend more time, and one day you will achieve your goal. There are too many people in this world, wise and foolish, wise and unworthy, old and young, strong and weak, rich and poor, bitter and happy, everyone is different, you believe me Believe me, if you want to move forward, I will block it. Therefore, an ideal does not have to wait until it is fully realized, and its disadvantages will emerge endlessly. Then another new ideal will follow, and it will be abandoned halfway. Since ancient times, no ideal has been implemented. , not a single doctrine has been completed. I really feel that the movement of society is really too slow, but the human mind progresses so fast! If a brave woman finds it too uncomfortable to sit at home, she should immediately run into society without fear , don’t ask whether this society is already reasonable. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait and wait, and your whole life will have passed.”

"This is your heroic thinking, maybe. But the fluke success of a few heroes can't make everyone soar together, and sometimes encourages unnecessary sacrifices. At present, we seem to need philosophers as leaders, first train our thinking The ability. Because there is thought and then there is faith, and there is faith and then there is power. I believe there is no mistake in these two sentences. If you say that all kinds of doctrines in the past cannot be accomplished, it means that the heroes forbid others to think and insist on The power that is oppressed by people's beliefs. This kind of power is assembled based on self-interest, not because of belief in the truth. Therefore, as soon as their interests conflict with each other, the power will be dispersed, and the theory used as a cover will not stand. Let’s face it, the more humans evolve, the more they require rational thinking. The pure heart of a child who only relies on instinct and impulse is not enough to emulate. Children don’t know the danger of the river, and when they get tired of playing on the bank, they want to go to the water. How can we make him brave in action? Then how can we encourage a woman who doesn't know society to rush into a society that has not yet made sense? They need knowledge, they need ideas."

"Here!" My mother laughed impatiently, "If you don't go to school, how will you know when get out of class is in and out? If you don't go to the playground, how will you know how to stand at attention? I know you are now I must still refuse to admit defeat, and would say that I can seek knowledge from books, but, my child, you take experience too easily. A normal student who has read the theory of education thoroughly can't make the crowd Students don't yawn; an expert who rummages through herbarium may not recognize a perilla plant. Like you, who only suffer for housewives who have not yet been deeply affected, so I will be a disbelief if I say anything. But, son , All empty thoughts you mentioned are useless. Only by recognizing difficulties from experience and finding ideas to solve difficulties from experience is the mother of faith and the source of strength! I have now admitted The failure of my own empty thinking in the past. I don’t think that I will use my strength to fight and only hope that another generation will realize my ideals. The answer I have given now has shattered half of my hope. So one can never rely on hope... "

"One lives by hope," I quickly corrected her conclusion. "If we had no beautiful hope, and everyone knew the truth, everyone would feel that there was not much reason to live. You Do you think there is any freedom or happiness in being a human being? Three meals a day require rice, vegetables, spoons, and chopsticks to be delivered to the mouth and swallowed into the stomach for it to be digested. This is enough troublesome and annoying , not to mention the advancement of modern civilization, a raw material can be fried, roasted, stewed, removed, roasted, baked, baked, steamed, marinated, glued, there are dozens of cooking methods, When eating, there are also hygienic habits such as chewing and swallowing slowly, washing hands before meals, and gargling after meals. I have to keep my head as a slave to it all day long and I am still too busy, how can I have any other thoughts? The experience difficulties you just mentioned, etc., according to the current situation, not most of the difficulties occur in eating. Body? People who are not full want to eat more, and people who are too full want to get something to help digestion. The so-called experience is nothing more than looking for food, earning food, making food, cheating food, It’s just the experience of grabbing food. What’s so great about the thoughts generated by these experiences? That’s why I thought that those who believe in what they say is not stupid or stupid! The course of life is so short For a period of time, even gaining one kind of experience every day can't exchange much wisdom."

"Okay, okay," my mother's lips trembled again, and her hands trembled, she hugged Lingling from my lap and went outside the room. "I'm finally a fool who has been deceived by hope all my life. I just need to think about happiness to make it work. ——Lingling, grandma's sweetheart, you won't be as unfilial as your mother when you grow up, right?"