Chapter 6 On Married Quarrels

On Married Quarrels Recently, I often quarrel with friends and couples, and I am busy being a peacemaker.As usual, the woman first came to tell me angrily, pointing to her tears: "Look, he came to argue with me again yesterday morning, saying why he didn't mend a hole in the sock. In fact, the hole is a very small board. Little, I can’t see anything when I put on the leather shoes. I know that the ground is really looking for me to make trouble because I want to wake up the children early in the morning and not sleep comfortably. But I also didn’t sleep comfortably. Who told him to come back every midnight? I can't live with this kind of life anymore, really," she said firmly, wiping away her tears, "it's better for everyone to get a divorce?"

I didn't answer for a while, and raised my eyes to look at her whole body: Is the hair just oiled?Is the shade of powder just right?Are handkerchiefs and the like still available? ...provided that such answers are positive.Then I have a solution.To deal with a person who is very angry and resentful, I can only pretend to be serious, and listen to her sympathetically and quietly. Except for nodding slightly from time to time, it is best to keep silent all the time, and I can't speak out if I try to persuade you.But how to deal with this kind of people who are only seven points angry?You can use Boke to make jokes, pointing to her wrist watch or something, and Xu Xu asks if this is his recent birthday present to her?How about walking fast?Produced in that country?Have the long and short needles pinched each other?Then we will discuss whether the style of women's watches is rectangular and beautiful, and whether the round and oval shapes are fashionable and so on.Of course she was not in the mood to answer at first, but since I have asked such a long list, I am always embarrassed to answer one or two perfunctorily.Gradually, she remembered the astonishingly high price of this watch, and her face unexpectedly showed complacency, and she asked if I would like to buy one anyway.He has a cousin who is the assistant of a watch company, and he will never lose money if he is asked to buy it.In this way, from the matter of buying the watch to the person who bought the watch, it is inevitable to repeat the quarrel last morning.But this time there was no trembling voice.Although I still wipe my eyes sometimes, there are no tears on the handkerchief, only some rouge has been wiped off.As for the sentence that he blamed her for not patching up the hole in the sock just now, I added a lot of comments one after another, to the effect: Although you don’t have to do it yourself, you have to take care of Mama Chen, you are the housewife I can't escape the responsibility of this order. Of course, I understand her identity. She is not a lowly worker like mending socks, and her husband will never dare to question her.As for her husband, how could he give in to those torn socks?Although the hole is extremely small.So her "Note 2" is: "Did you know that yesterday morning was not gloomy like it was going to rain? He was afraid that the pair of American tiger leather shoes would be unreliable and leak, so he hurriedly took off the thin wool socks and replaced them with gauze socks." But his good gauze socks had already been tied up by Chen Ma and put them in the big cupboard, and this pair with holes was placed outside, and they were intended for Chen Ma's nephews and brothers to wear..." She was I regretted all the things I told me in anger, and I hurriedly diverted to other words, and everyone talked nonsense for a while.Finally I asked her: "Then did he come back early last night?" This reminded her memory again, and there was one thing that she didn't tell me. She had a quarrel and went to her mother's house with the child in her arms. So he doesn't know what will happen in the future.After I asked this question, her expression became obviously disturbed. She was worried that after she ran away, he might really go out to dance Dadan.So I knew it was time to discuss specific solutions. First, I would defend and explain for him, and then I would send her a few little friends. Finally, I expressed my opinion: "Don't be afraid that he will be anxious. For the sake of the child, I have to go home. " At that time, although she was still grumbling, she seemed to agree with the principle of going back that I said, but what about the way of going back?Could it be that he ran out by himself, and ran to the door by himself one day later?She was clearly troubled. "I decided not to go back," she murmured repeatedly: I decided not to go back. "

I know the context of this sentence, it should be: "Unless he comes to my mother to accompany me in person." So I guarantee that he is 120,000 willing. In this way, after she left, I would make a phone call to ask her for a man.I didn't tell him the reason why he was invited here, and he didn't ask me either. Everyone should be clear-eyed.I started to count the time, and from the time distance between the phone call and his arrival at my house, I could detect his eagerness to make peace.I told him his wife was here just now.He pretended not to care.I asked him how to solve this matter, and he said that it doesn't matter whether it is resolved or not. She will come when she is happy, and she will be pulled down when she is not happy. Family is a meaningless thing. "Besides, I never asked her to pass by," he repeated. "Now she comes when she wants to come, and she falls down when she doesn't come. I don't care at all."

On this occasion, I knew that everything was settled, so I stopped discussing it. We talked about other things, and agreed to go back to his house to find him this week.I didn't tell him the reason why I was looking for him, and he didn't ask me, everyone is still very clear.On the appointed day, I invited three or five friends to go with me, but the elephant forced him to go to the Yue's house to respect his wife, and the matter was over. However, having said that, this is entirely the responsibility of our generation and the matter. As for whether the two of them can reconcile as before, it depends on whether there is a third party to obstruct it.When a couple quarrels, they are most afraid that there will be a third party caught in the middle; let alone being caught in the middle, standing in front of them is also the main reason for the expansion of the situation.Many couples quarrel in the first half of the fight, perhaps because of the thing they are fighting for, but in the second half, it is mostly because of the presence of a third person. Everyone has to continue to fight in order to save face, hoping to grab this last sentence as a glorious victory. symbols of.

I used to recommend a very diligent maid to my cousin's family, but they fired her within two months. My cousin felt very sorry for this, and came over to explain to me: "That maid The maid's work is very satisfactory, and your cousin really likes her. But there is one thing that is not good, that is, since she came to work, your cousin is afraid that she will tell you all about our occasional quarrel, Therefore, whenever I have a slight criticism, I will cry and make a fuss, saying that I deliberately cut her face and made a joke for my aunt, and I must tell her good things in front of my aunt. I really can't bear this kind of trouble, she herself I also feel that it is wrong to spend too much energy, so we decided to let her go, and go to the recommendation shop to call, so that your cousin will ask me occasionally, and I am not afraid that someone will laugh at the ears of relatives." I believe my cousin To tell the truth, a wife is often only willing to quietly wipe her husband's back in the room, and is unwilling to wring a handkerchief for a man who has just returned home from summer and is sweating in front of everyone.This is the concept of a new woman's face. If the husband can understand her, the family will be safe and sound.And furthermore, you can take advantage of her mentality, and threaten to yell loudly so that others can hear when the couple quarrels in private. At that time, your wife is afraid of losing face, and her anger will naturally turn into coquettish screams.Women love to be brave in front of others. She can be patient because she is afraid that a third party will hear her, or she can be stubborn to the end because of the presence of a third party.

As for men?Most of the time, he always gets angry, and Cheng Yaojin has three axes.As long as the wives can keep in mind the old saying "a good man should not suffer in front of his eyes", deal with it calmly, dodge it temporarily at the beginning, and avoid the spotlight, then you can come up with your killer later.And generally speaking, the more aggressive a person is, the faster he will be free from the battle. A wife should recognize this point, face is all at the back, and it can be used to outsmart rather than force the enemy.If one hears the evil sound, one immediately thinks about it, picks up the ax and kills back indiscriminately, that kind of black whirlwind-style stupid strategy, female generals are unacceptable.But if her top anvil is really a virgin shy enough to lose her soul at a lion's roar, then it doesn't hurt much.In short, if the east wind overwhelms the west wind, or the west wind overwhelms the east wind between husband and wife, it is always inevitable to quarrel at this stage.However, whoever wins and who loses during the quarrel depends on who can "know oneself and the enemy" better.

There is one more thing I would like to ask the ladies to pay attention to: at the age of thirty-six, it is the worst policy, and fleeing back to the mother’s house is absolutely unacceptable. On the contrary, it was the mother-in-law who attacked the son-in-law latently. Although men are more tolerant, they sometimes believe in it.Especially the widowed mother-in-law, the only daughter with two wives, the reluctance to return home after a full moon will make you feel uncomfortable. "Son, take a few more mouthfuls to moisten your throat, that's a good thing your brother brought recently! White fungus, it will nourish the yin after eating. Now you two are only on one floor outside, and you can enjoy it together. I have a silver aunt, and I am too busy cooking and boiling water, so I have time to prepare some supplements for you. Your body is thin-my aunt, why do you just stay still? Let’s drink a few more times!" No matter if you curse in your heart: "Since the old woman is reluctant to part with her daughter, why doesn't she hide at home all her life and enjoy the blessings? What are you doing marrying a poor man like me?" Yes. Although the blessing is a little lacking now, fortunately the family has enough to eat, I still make her fat every year. He valued her in every possible way. At home, he really asks for food, stretches out his hands for tea, and wants everything. It's ready-made, and I'm afraid she'll be tired even if I owe her body! Now I'm renting a house outside, and I have to take care of everything by myself, even though I have an aunt..." After hearing this, the wife seemed to become more and more spoiled, and simply called Tremella It's too sweet to taste, so I want to eat some Wei's dim sum.Her mother tilted her head and thought for a long time, this is not good, and that is not good, it makes you feel impatient and just want to leave, while the mother-in-law is staying for dinner again. "I don't think there are any other rules for you new people. The parents-in-law live separately. Who dares to gossip? My son, you two can spend the night here after dinner. The beds in the east wing have just been made up." ..." At that time, no matter how good-natured I was, I couldn't help but get angry, and said to my beloved wife with a calm face: "Since the mother-in-law insists on staying, you can stay here for a few more days. I will go to the office tomorrow. I can't wait any longer tonight."

"What's the matter in the office, I'll ask Asila to go there tomorrow morning. Besides, there is no stove in their room, and it will be quiet when they go back at night..." Although she said this, she thought it was out of concern , and you sounded like you were laughing at poverty, so you stood up angrily and grabbed your hat, and Sai stopped her mother with a bit of a bite: "Mom, if he is going, let him go, the office is in the office." It seems serious. Go to the office at nine o'clock and have to...huh!" If you can't bear to caress your beloved wife, you have to put down your hat, sit silently in your place, and listen to her mother and daughter gossip about the family, those are all What you don't understand is not interesting, but you have to endure it until the dead of night, yawning and standing until you are sent to sleep in the east wing.Quite a few sons-in-law hated their mother-in-law to the bone. If the wives hopped on the tram to go back to their parents' house after a quarrel, the men would immediately think of the suspicion of the mother-in-law's usual instigation, and even suspect that this quarrel was pre-arranged by their mother and daughter. conspiracy.

At that time, if the mother-in-law still didn't know where to go, instead of avoiding suspicion, she would gather her children and nephews to interrogate her according to her daughter's own words, and the matter would become deadlocked.It should be noted that if a man is reprimanded by the Yue family, he will be overwhelmed. This kind of growth is more than enough for the wife alone, and there is no need to work hard. Otherwise, although a man with a little self-respect can bow his knees to his wife's coquettishness, he must not Bow your head and stick your ears close to Taishan Taishui's brother-in-law before inviting someone.If a husband and wife quarrel to this extent, the inner rift between them will never be healed.

Young couples, please don't underestimate that small quarrel, but you don't know that a single spark can start a prairie fire!I often wonder why gum caries in these families occurs in the early winter. After several field investigations, I suddenly realize that the crux of the problem is that the wife is concentrating on knitting sweaters.I know, with very few exceptions, a man who doesn't like having a wife to sit with and talk to when he comes home.My wife should be more concerned about everything about him, at least in terms of speech, indifference is unacceptable.However, nine out of ten women love woolen yarn, four knitting needles tick-tock all day and night, and they are so busy that vests, shirts, gloves, and stockings are knitted one after another, and the new ones are tied and the old ones are quickly dismantled. Untie heavy knots, so that there are balls of wool on the bookshelves at home, balls of wool on the bed blanket, and there are balls of wool rolling around at a glance. This is enough to make men feel upset, let alone the wife's eyes. Hands are all busy with wool; you tell him that the money order has shrunk, and ignore it; tell her that a new book has been published, and she counts her one stitch, two stitches, dozens, and hundreds of stitches even more indifferently.In this way, the husband doesn't want to run out, and he is sure to cause a big quarrel.

Another point that is likely to increase the risk of quarrels is that when men choose a mate, they often like to choose a naive and lively woman, but after they get married, they regret that naivety is useless. Those who only know themselves but don’t know how to behave, especially when life is difficult, the wife also knows God and does not forgive others. An incomprehensible and inconsiderate wife brings mental pain to her husband, which is far beyond all other material difficulties. on it.Therefore, a gentleman is more precious than Shen Shi.