Chapter 48 Cry Mr. Feng Zhi

To me, it was like a thunderbolt in the clear sky: Mr. Feng Zhi was gone, forever and ever. To say I didn't think of it at all, is not true.After all, he has reached the age of Mi Shou.However, just over a month ago, I went to see him.I saw that he was in good health and spirit, and I was secretly relieved.He told me that he did not like to have some people visit him, but I was an exception.He tried again and again to keep me, and his sincerity was evident in his words.But I have other things, so I said goodbye cruelly.I made an appointment with him to pick him up to live in Yanyuan for a few days when the spring is warm and the flowers are blooming. We will meet old friends for a while, roam around in the garden, and enjoy the flowers and trees that he seems to have known before.How could I have guessed that this was the last conversation of our friendship that lasted more than half a century.If I realized it at the time, it would be a big deal, and I would have turned it down and talked with him for hours.But I left him.Everything is now a thing of the past.It's too late, it's too late, it's too late!I will hold a grudge forever!

The process of my getting to know Mr. Feng Zhi, in retrospect, seems to have become history.He is 6 years older than me, and we cannot be classmates, so we have never met in China.When I went to Germany, he had already left there, so I couldn't meet him abroad.However, when I was studying in college, I read his lyric poems, and I yearned for and loved those verses with perfect form and spirit.Mr. Lu Xun praised him as the best lyric poet in China. I always think this is the most reasonable saying.Therefore, I have long admired Mr. Feng Zhi, a lyric poet. However, we did not meet until 1946.At this time, I came back from Germany to teach in the Department of Eastern Languages ​​of Peking University, and Mr. Feng was in the Department of Western Languages. The offices of the two departments are next to each other, so there are many opportunities to meet each other.

During this period, what left the deepest impression on me was not the North Building of Peking University, but the seat of the Sino-German Society, a large courtyard with three or four entrances.The buildings here are antique.Although there is no such thing as winding paths leading to secluded places, the heavy doors in the corridors are also interesting.The courtyard is very deep, "How deep is the courtyard", blocking the sound of the city outside the gate, the courtyard is as quiet as an ancient temple, and once you walk in, you will feel quiet and pleasant.Mr. Feng Zhi and I, as well as some other people, have held many meetings here.I met many people here, such as Bi Huade, Zhang Xing, Yuan Tongli, Xiang Da, etc., all of whom have passed away now.However, the memories of this period of time will never fade away.

Soon, in the winter of 1948, the People's Liberation Army surrounded Beijing.Some professors of Peking University, including Mr. Feng, were celebrating the school anniversary in the beach solitary people's hall.It can be seen that everyone does not have a sense of panic in a dangerous city, but instead has expectations and sustenance.The principal Hu Shi fled in a hurry by plane, and only a few professors shared the same fate with him.The rest stayed behind, waiting for the PLA to enter the city.Mr. Feng is one of them. In the past, I often thought, and often said, that for the intellectuals in the old Chinese society, liberation was a severe test, a test of whether they were lucky or not.On this point, Mr. Feng Zhi has done a good job.However, I would like to make some additions or corrections.Due to different political beliefs, those who left the mainland at that time may not all have lost money.Here, there is only one standard, which is whether he loves his country or not.As long as you love our great motherland, you will be fine wherever you stay.There is no priority in patriotism, and revolution does not matter whether it is sooner or later.Here are my thoughts now.

In short, at this critical juncture, Mr. Feng Zhi stayed, I stayed, and many professors stayed.We spent a period of joy, excitement, excitement, and sweet days together. What followed was a long conference period of 40 years.I remember that at a meeting in the 1950s, Comrade Zhou Yang said to us with a smile: "The Kuomintang has more taxes, and the Communist Party has more meetings." !" The two of them didn't have any malice, but you can feel a bit of bitterness from their wry smiles, isn't it so? Fortunately?Unlucky?What the two of them said is not wrong. In my friendship with Mr. Feng Zhi for more than forty years, my memories of him are almost always connected with meetings.

As the saying goes: "Times make heroes." The liberation of this situation soon made both Mr. Feng Zhi and me "heroes."Somehow, both of us became "social activists", even "international activists", and "heroes" who traveled around the country and held meetings.I am an introvert, and I am most afraid of dealing with others.From my point of view, Mr. Feng and I also "see Yilu between brothers", and he is not a communicator at all.If he really enjoyed it, he wouldn't use the words of Empress Li to say "strange things".There is no doubt about this.

The reason why there are so many meetings is that after liberation, there are many rallies and associations with various names.What this society, that association; this council, that committee; this people's congress, that political consultative conference, all kinds of titles, and so on.Since Mr. Feng and I are both "social activists", we must "activate".And because our two occupations are somewhat similar, and our social status is somewhat similar, so we often "activate" together.Sometimes I think wildly: If Mr. Feng and I were not "social activists", the chances of us meeting would be reduced by 80 to 90%, and our friendship would develop in another direction.For that alone, I'd also like to thank "Will More".

It is impossible to list all the conferences that the two of us participated in. To name only the most important ones, there are the editorial board of "World Literature", the Chinese Writers Association, the National People's Congress, the Academic Degrees Committee of the State Council, and the "Encyclopedia of China Foreign Languages". The editorial board of Literature Volume, the China Foreign Literature Research Association, the Academic Committee of the Institute of Literature of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, the Academic Committee of the Institute of Foreign Literature, etc., etc.Our friendship runs through these various meetings, and my memories also run through these various meetings.

I can't forget the wonderful Mogan Mountain.One year, the editorial committee of "Encyclopedia of China·Foreign Literature Volume" was held here.Mr. Feng is the editor-in-chief of this volume, and I am the deputy editor-in-chief, and we both participated.Mogan Mountain is famous for its bamboo, and its sound is so loud in China.I, a "non-poet" who never wrote poems, suddenly got inspiration, and actually wrote four so-called "poems": "The world of Moganbamboo is full of green mountains and green mountains. Stupid fir  褡 carbuncle  industry torsion ∠ 笾  Sui T 笑 益 promise 莣虀  bo  Yi  arsenic  Xingbaked slug pay first Pu Yi fold 0 zizhuo ぷ row  艿 艿 裼  chaotic coffin Knocking on the pepper road, lying down, scratching, pinching, squatting, swaying, swaying, swaying, swaying, swaying, swaying, swaying, swaying, twitching, twitching, twitching Yulu Wu? Panic?

It is a wonderful memory that will last a lifetime. I can't forget the Xi'an Zhangbaxun State Guesthouse, which makes people think about the past.Xi'an was the capital of several dynasties in ancient China. In the Tang Dynasty, Xi'an became the cultural, political and economic center of the world, and a large number of foreigners lived there.The poetry of Tang Dynasty is the product of a golden period in the history of Chinese literature.When I arrived in Xi'an today, as long as I pay attention, there will be relics of Tang poetry everywhere.Who has come to Baqiao, Weishui River, and those "originals", and won't immediately think of many well-known poems in the Tang Dynasty?Xi'an is simply a city of poetry, a city of historical legends, a city that immediately makes people think about the past.The place of Zhang Baxun was mentioned in Du Fu's poems.Mr. Feng Zhi himself is a poet and an expert on Du Fu's poetry.When he arrived in Xi'an, especially Zhang Baxun, he probably experienced and felt more than others.This time we are here to attend the annual meeting of the China Foreign Literature Research Association, and work is quite intense.However, just like in Moganshan, we also occasionally take a walk in this beautiful and quiet hotel when we are nervous.There are also lush forests and bamboos, lotus ponds and streams.In the forest, by the pool, under the bamboo, beside the flowers, we left our footprints.

It is a wonderful memory that will last a lifetime. Enough is enough.The past is like clouds and smoke.There are so many unforgettable memories like this.There are too many places and things like these that cannot be forgotten, so many that my head seems to burst.Every such memory, every such incident, seems to me now to be an intriguing lyric. All these lyric poems revolve around one person, and this person is Mr. Feng Zhi. In the friendship that lasted for more than half a century, although we were friends, I always regarded him as a teacher in my heart.Borrowing a poem from my predecessor Mr. Chen Yinke, it is "Feng Yi's life between teachers and friends".After such a long time of personal experience, I found that Mr. Feng is a very lovely and approachable person.He is simple, sincere, will not lie, will not hypocrisy, will not brag, will not flatter, treat people with sincerity, and get along with him, making people feel like sitting in the spring breeze.I never saw him lose his temper.A few days ago, when I went to see him in the hospital, his daughter Yao Ping told me that sometimes her father had a cavity of grief and anger in his chest, a cavity of displeasure.The daughter said: "You lose your temper! Don't you feel comfortable once you lose your temper?" He smiled wryly and said, "How do you tell me to learn to lose my temper?" Mr. Feng Zhi is such an ordinary and peculiar person, such a seemingly ordinary person who is actually extraordinary. The ancients said: "It is enough to have a confidant in life." I am introverted by nature, lazy to deal with advances and retreats, and timid to deal with others.However, in the life of more than eighty years, there are also a few confidants.I personally think that Mr. Feng Zhi is one of them.There were many times during the course of the long meeting that we shared a room.We talked about almost everything, and we had the same opinions on current affairs, people, social customs, and anecdotes about the art world, and there was almost no difference.When we talk, we never need to be defensive.We speak our minds and talk freely.There is nothing greater than this to think that life is happy.This, of course, is the reason why our friendship has endured and increased over time. Two years ago, my friends and students wanted to celebrate my 80th birthday. I put forward a condition: I will not notify or invite any teachers and friends who are older than me.Mr. Feng is certainly within this range.However, on the day of the meeting, when the meeting was about to start, Mr. Feng traveled a long distance from the eastern suburbs to the western suburbs to congratulate me at an octogenarian age.Sitting on the rostrum, I caught a glimpse of him walking into the venue supported by others. I was stunned for a moment, with mixed feelings. I jumped down the steps and helped him up with both hands.He spoke many words of encouragement, as beautiful as a lyric.The four to five hundred people in the audience applauded thunderously, which shows that his words touched the heartstrings of the audience.This scene, I will never forget it.At that meeting, many old friends who were older than me or younger than me, such as Wu Zuxiang (he came here in a wheelchair), Xu Guozhang, etc., had a deep friendship, together with all the friends present, including I will never forget the old rain and new friendship between my hometown Liaocheng and Linqing.I am a person who is not very expressive but deeply emotional.All my friends have expressed such deep affection to me, and painted a layer of vitality and friendship on my seemingly colorful but monotonous, seemingly smooth but bumpy life. How can I forget Woolen cloth? In recent years, when I delivered the canopy, I suffered funerals from family members and friends.When a person reaches old age, old relatives and friends are like three autumn leaves. It is a natural thing to delete the complicated and simplify.However, as far as I am concerned, within a few years, even if there is a big accident, the Creator-if there is one-isn't it too cruel?I cried over our beloved ancestors, my own flesh and blood Wanru, and Qiao Mu who have been friends since Tsinghua University.How could I have imagined that now it's my turn to cry Mr. Feng Zhi again! "Grey-haired people cry for black-haired people", of course, is the most painful thing in life.But isn't "the white-haired man crying for the white-haired man" equally painful?I think that people's tears cannot be inexhaustible like the breeze on the river and the bright moon in the mountains.Over the years, my tear bank has dried up and I have no more tears to draw from. However, in fact it is not so, not at all.A few days ago, in the hospital, I saw Mr. Feng for the last time.Although he is still alive, he can no longer open his eyes or speak.I suddenly felt that my lifelong confidant was weaker.I sat in the drawing room, tears welling up, and I was about to cry.His daughter, Yao Ping, kept saying: "Uncle Ji! Don't be sad!" I mobilized all my remaining rational strength and suppressed my crying.He put on a smile on his face, even made a smile in the tears.Only I know: my tears flowed down my stomach.For Mr. Feng Zhi, I am willing to lift all the tears in my tear bank and make it the last cry in my life. Alas!This life is over.How nice it would be if there was an afterlife. February 24, 1993