Chapter 4 Preparations in Peking

I finally left home on August 1, 1935.What I left behind was a dilapidated family with old relatives, young wife, and young children.No one knows the fate of such a family and my group of relatives, just like my own.Life and death parting, past and present share the same sorrow.Jiang Wentong said: "The only thing is to say goodbye to those who are sad and ecstasy." He also said: "Cut kindness and love, leave the country, weep and share the secret, and see each other with blood." When I read "Farewell Fu" in the past, I just Appreciate its literary talent.However, today I became a gifted person.This situation is really not humane.

When I left home, I was full of thoughts.Uncle, aunt, Dehua (wife), daughter Wanru held Dehua's hand, and Yanzong, who was only a few months old, was sleeping soundly in his mother's arms, and they all sent me to the gate.The young girl and the youngest son don't know what parting is, and maybe they still think it's fun.Parents and Dehua fully understand.With tears in my eyes, I forced a lot of tears into my stomach. I didn't dare to look at them again—I believe they must have tears in their eyes—turned my head and got on the rickshaw. Wa's shadow flashed before my eyes.

I will take the train to Peiping first.Going abroad is only possible in Beiping, not in Jinan.After arriving in Peiping, I first went to the beach to find an apartment and rented a room to store those two large suitcases.Immediately rushed to Tsinghua Park and found a bed in the Gongzi Hall Guest House. The roommate was an old Tsinghua graduate a few grades higher than me. He was the general manager of some local insurance company.Get together in the middle of the night and talk to each other.He repeatedly advised me to study insurance after going to Germany.When I return to China in the future, my rice bowl will never be a problem, maybe it will be a golden rice bowl.It's certainly tempting.But it is completely contrary to my wishes.Although I have no great ambitions, I have absolutely no interest in being an official or doing business, and I have no pursuit of getting rich.I can only appreciate the kindness of this old senior. 

At this time, it was summer vacation, and almost all the students left school to go home.The huge Tsinghua Garden is quiet.But the scenery is even more beautiful, with tall trees covering the sky, thick shade all over the ground, flowers blooming in the green bushes, and cicadas singing on the high branches; the lotus in the lotus pond is blooming in full bloom in the wind, and the purple atmosphere of the West Mountain is still magical.Although the scenery is beautiful, I feel boundless loneliness in my heart.Just a year ago, when I was a student, many of my little friends still gathered together, or read aloud in the wind, or expressed their feelings under the moon.Walking in the wilderness at dusk, after returning to school, I still have a lot of fun. Sometimes I walk along the lotus pond to appreciate the moonlight of the lotus pond, which is very enjoyable and enjoyable.However, once upon a time, today I was the only one left and went back to Shuimu Tsinghua University, seeing things and thinking about people, sighing at the moon, people leaving the building, the universe seemed to become empty, it was unbearable.

The I-shaped hall where I live is the center of Tsinghua University.My teacher Mr. Wu Mi's "Vine Shadow and Lotus Sound Pavilion" is here.He has left school, I can only look at the furnishings in the room through the glass window, and I can't help but recall the scene when I talked here, and I feel sad.Not far from here is the lakeside hall, and the plaque with the four characters of "Shuimu Tsinghua" is hung behind it.This hall is very large, filled with mahogany furniture, elegant and luxurious.Usually few people come, so it is very quiet.A few years ago, I sometimes came here to chat with a few good friends such as Wu Zuxiang, Lin Geng, and Li Changzhi.We are all still young, a little ignorant of the heights of the sky and the depths of the earth, and we talk about the sea and the sky like no one else.We are not dung, but we are contemporary writers.I remember that when Mao Dun was published, several of us met here to discuss this book.Opinions at that time were divided into two factions: one was absolutely positive, and the other was basically negative.Everyone had a great time arguing.Our kind of talk has never come to a conclusion, and there is no need to have a conclusion.Each exaggerated their own words as much as possible, and then talked about other issues, and felt that it was a lot of fun.Today I came to this hall alone, seeing things and thinking about people, and I couldn't help but feel a little sad.

During this period, I have plenty of free time.I have met several teachers.The first is Mr. Feng Youlan. It is said that the signing of the contract with Germany was due to his mediation.Next is Mr. Jiang Tingfu, who is said to have contributed to the signing of the contract.He earnestly advised me that Germany is a fascist country, and we must be cautious in our words and deeds there, so as not to cause trouble.I thank the teacher for his advice.I also met Mr. Wen Yiduo.This was my first meeting with him; unfortunately, it was also my last.When I returned to China eleven years later, he had already been assassinated by the Kuomintang reactionaries.He is a poet and scholar whom I greatly admire.I have completely forgotten the content of the conversation at that time, but his image will always remain in my heart.

One night, after dinner, I was lonely and bored, so I walked out of the I-shaped hall and went for a walk by the lotus pond described in Mr. Zhu Ziqing's "Moonlight in the Lotus Pond".When the new moon was in the sky, there was no sound.The bright moon reflected in the lotus pond seems more round and brighter than the one in the sky.Under the moonlight, the lotus leaves and lotus flowers have lost their color and turned into a gray color.But the scent of lotus is approaching the nostrils, making me seem to be able to see the emerald green lotus leaves and red lotus flowers.There are little sparks shining in the lotus leaves, which are early fireflies.The small spot of fire fluctuated, flickering, as if it wanted to compete for glory with the big spot of fire in the sky and in the water.At this time, it seemed that I was the only one left in the universe.In the front of the Pengcheng thousands of miles, wandering in foreign lands; in the back, the families with the old and the young are far away from me, far away, trapped in a thin layer of mist, looking like Penglai fairy mountains. 〖JP〗

However, I came to Peiping to do business, not to dream.At that time, there were no foreign consulates in Beiping, and one had to go to Tianjin to apply for a visa to go abroad.So Qiao Guanhua and I took the train to Tianjin and went to the Russian and German consulates to apply for visas.The procedure was never as complicated as it is now. The Russian and German staff of the consulate simply asked a few words, shook hands with a smile, and wished us a smooth journey.We have completed all the formalities for going abroad, and we are just waiting for departure. 〖JP〗 After returning to Beiping, several friends saw me farewell in Beihai Park. I remember Lin Geng, Li Changzhi, Wang Jindi, Zhang Luwei and others.We rented two small boats and rowed among the lotus bushes.The lotus leaves connected to the sky, and the lotus flowers reflecting the sun, under the sunlight, red is red and green is green, each of which is extremely wonderful.It was completely different from the moonlight over the lotus pond in Tsinghua Garden that day.Each of us is elated, criticizes people, points out current affairs, is high-spirited, indomitable, "speaking is not amazing and endless", we really seem to be heroes who dominate the ups and downs.After playing for a whole day, we had a good time.

Thousands of miles of pergola, there is no never-ending feast.Finally came the day to go. On August 31, our friends sent us to the train station, which is now the old Qianmen Station.Of course, there are some blessings and exhortations.The moment I boarded the train, an old poem suddenly appeared in my mind: "The second person who casts thousands of miles away".