Chapter 12 mass fight

The days passed like this day by day, and time passed peacefully. But I have no peace at all.I am in fear twenty-four hours a day.No matter what time it is, no matter where it is, at home or in the place of labor, as soon as the Red Guards arrive, I will be escorted to some place to accept criticism, exactly the same as before the labor reform.Therefore, even in a very remote place that is almost untouched by people, as long as the red armbands of the Red Guards flash red in the distance, I know that my disaster has arrived again.Now I have become a dumb animal, without saying a word, without asking a single word, and being escorted away obediently.Where to go, only God knows.This kind of criticism is no different from that before the reform through labor.I have become very proficient at sitting in the jet style, and I no longer bother the Red Guards to correct my posture with punches and kicks.My race against time exercise on the balcony has also achieved unexpected success. My jet posture is beautiful and impeccable; my legs feel a little uncomfortable, and I no longer feel unbearably sore.I didn't listen much to those so-called critical speeches that are worse than stereotypes, full of nonsense and lies.In short, one criticism and one reduction in labor is equal to one rest.I am close to graduating in the purgatory of criticism and struggle, and I should get a bachelor's degree in the practice of criticism and struggle.

However, sometimes the Red Guards escorted me not to criticize, but to interrogate me. The places were all in the Foreign Languages ​​Building, but not always in the same room.I don't know the mystery of it.As soon as they entered the room, the leaders of the Eastern Languages ​​Commune—forgive me for not knowing what their official positions were—sat in a row, with serious faces and no smiles, like judges in a court.I walked in thinking I was going to be in the jet too, but, by the grace of God, I was only allowed to stand there and look up.I feel really awkward.I have now become Jia Gui.It turned out that I had a very bad attitude on this occasion.My attitude has been much better since I took a life back due to a bad attitude.I feel that a bad attitude is of no use at all.The subject of their interrogation is often based on the millions of words in the diary that they have confiscated from me. They dug up a few words, took them out of context, and sometimes distorted them a bit.While listening attentively, sometimes I feel that their weaving is too absurd, and I feel a little angry in my heart.Of course this will affect my attitude, but I try to suppress the fire in my heart.Among the millions of words of manuscripts and diaries that were confiscated, it was very easy to dig out a few words and distort them by using the method of metaphysical slander that was very popular at the time.They also made sure to force me to answer.It's impossible not to say, and I was holding back my anger when I said it, and I had to suppress it.This taste is really uncomfortable!Sometimes I think, it's better to sit on the jet and ignore the speaker's nonsense, even if I get slapped a few times, it's better than holding my breath like I am now.As the saying goes: "This mountain looks at the height of that mountain".Could it be that I am also looking at the mountain being criticized?

The person who interrogated me was either a former student of the Department of Oriental Languages, or a teacher invited in by myself.I don't have any "ungrateful" thoughts at this time.The idea is so trite.I can forgive most of them.Like me, they were also poisoned by partisanship, so that they lost the reason to judge right from wrong.However, a few of them, such as a Korean language teacher who is a hardcore member of the commune, showed abnormal enthusiasm for interrogating me. Could it be that they want to stain their top with other people's blood and hope that his "queen" will treat him well? Especially favored, soaring to the top?There was also an Indonesian language teacher who was usually respectful to me, but this time he was uncharacteristically active and surprisingly positive.It turned out that his butt was not clean. Before liberation, he was an enemy of progressive students and participated in anti-Soviet demonstrations.I want to use this to cover up my past.But the fox's tail couldn't be hidden, and it was finally exposed, and he went to see God in a capitalist way of suicide.

The one who disturbed me the most, and even deeply regretted it, was an Arabic teacher.This is a very honest and decent person. We usually have no grudges or grudges, and our relationship is still passable.Now he is probably not a major figure in the Eastern Language Department commune, and he is assigned to carefully read the diaries and manuscripts that I have been copied.I know better than anyone that this is a very difficult and boring job.From the piles of diaries and manuscripts that can be more than one meter high, it is easy to seek evidence of my "counter-revolutionary" crimes. You can pick out a few sentences at will, and you will have enough materials to criticize me once.But on the other hand, if you read each word carefully, you need a lot of patience, which hurts your eyesight and nerves.Let me read it again, I can hardly do it.However, this gentleman—I am not qualified to call him a "comrade"—has gone so far as to burn the ointment, read all the materials, and provided a lot of materials for criticism.If I am a big shot, it is worth studying; if he is really interested in studying "Ji Xianlin Studies", then it is worthwhile.But I'm just a very ordinary person.After reading so many materials and expending so much energy, isn't it a waste of his life for him?On the other hand, if he spends the same amount of energy and time on reading some materials on Arabic language, literature, or culture, he can at least write a decent thesis, maybe even get a master's degree and be promoted to a higher level. class miles.Therefore, I sympathize with him from the bottom of my heart and feel sorry for him.But this is something beyond my ability, what can I do?

The interrogation of me by the Department of Oriental Languages ​​was not always calm, and sometimes it was unavoidable to be a bit tense.But no one slapped me, and I'm really grateful to Dade. Even so, this combination of labor reform, criticism and interrogation really bored me.I have fantasies again.I fantasized that there would be a savior who would be merciful and merciful, and suddenly show kindness, end this catastrophe, at least give grace to innocent people like me, and liberate me.I have never believed in any sect, God, God, Buddha, Bodhisattva, I do not pray.I am thinking of the leaders of our country.In addition to reform through labor and criticism, under dim lights at night, and in a very unfriendly atmosphere—a wife who lives in the same unit has long regarded me as an "enemy, a counter-revolutionary." Encourage the two old ladies in our family to draw a clear line with me.Our ancestors told her bluntly: "We still rely on him for food!" - I wrote a letter to our country's leaders at my desk, imagining that miracles would really happen in the world.But how can there be miracles in the world?There is a popular saying in the world: "The 'Cultural Revolution' occurs once every seven or eight years, and once every seven or eight years".When I write these letters, it is like lighting a lamp for a blind man, wasting a piece of wax in vain.But I was wishful thinking, wishful thinking, dreaming that one day when I open my eyes, the "Cultural Revolution" is over, and I, this ghost, will turn into a human again.How good that is!In the darkness that filled the universe as if it had solidified, I vaguely saw a ray of light flowing out from the "tallest building" (Mr. Chen Yinke wrote a poem: "Looking at Huachou near the tallest building").However, in the end it turned out that this was just a mirage, fleeting.Every day I was still reforming through labor, criticizing, and interrogating.

Even at home, if there is no reform through labor, no criticism, no interrogation, life is not peaceful.I have already talked a few words about the wife who lives in the same unit and wants to draw a line with me.But the trouble doesn't stop there.She forced me to move out of their house the mahogany jigsaw table and big sofa that are said to be the only one in Beijing.I am really in a dilemma.I'm left with a large room and a small room full of stuff.Where do these big guys go?The garage where the books are stored downstairs, after the house was ransacked, became a mess and turned into a garbage dump, I couldn't bear to see it.Sofas and jigsaw tables cannot be moved in anyway.Adding fuel to the fire, a female teacher living downstairs even put up a small poster asking me to move the books out of the garage.I don't have a single friend right now, and everyone regards me like a plague god, who should I turn to for help?Dare I go out?I seem to be Xiang Yu who is besieged on all sides by the Wujiang River.Fortunately, I have studied comparative suicide, and I will never commit suicide.I still have to live.But what about living?I've really reached the end of my rope.

But what came was not "another village" but an even greater disaster. I spent the whole spring of 1968 in a labor camp.At this time, the earth rejuvenated again.Nature didn't care about the "Cultural Revolution" at all, and the flowers were still blooming like brocades, colorful, and Yanyuan became a sea of ​​flowers.Everyone likes spring, but I love flowers like life.However, at this time, I have become a color blind, red, green and green, all become gray in my eyes. However, on the other hand, the brilliant spring has awakened the "revolutionary" enthusiasm of the "revolutionaries".The leaders of the Xinbei University Commune followed the old saying that "a year's plan lies in the spring", and decided to improve their work level one step further, focusing on invention and creation, avoiding complacency, and came up with a new set of tricks.The target is of course the hundred and ten prisoners.Whether any of them really wants to "revolution", I can't say for sure.But most, if not all, definitely take pleasure in abusing others.The inferiority of human beings, which was covered up in the past, is now completely "liberated".They can do whatever they want.I would like to make a statement here by the way: Among the thousands of workers and tens of thousands of students at Peking University, only a very small number of people participated in this activity.They are usually mischievous, treacherous, lazy, and coincidental characters similar to local hooligans.Now a god-sent marriage, I have an unprecedented opportunity that is hard to buy, and I can display my skills.

On May 4, 1968, the anniversary of the May 4th Movement and China's Youth Day, our group of prisoners was escorted from our homes to the coal factory one by one.When it comes to the coal plant, it is really famous.As the name suggests, this is where coal is stored and managed by a group of workers.During the "Cultural Revolution" distribution period, the workers inside happened to support the "Lafayette".Of course, the coal workers are all strong and strong men, and they have strength to deal with coal; they have a lot of strength to deal with us frail scholars.A slap or a kick from them is at least as good as Hei Xuanfeng and Hua Monk in Li.The specific feelings cannot be expressed in words, only the flesh and blood of us can express clearly.Especially in the first stage of the catastrophe, when the focus was on criticizing the capitalist roaders, the "capitalist roaders" who had been reformed through labor in the coal factory, when they mentioned the coal factory, they all shuddered and turned pale when they talked about it, just like talking about the scumbag of the Kuomintang.

Now our group of prisoners has been brought here again.I took a closer look, and found that it was not all the prisoners, but a group of special "heinous" ones were selected by "merit-based admission" or "optimized combination".Among them are Lu Ping and Peng Peiyun, who were named in the "first Marxist-Leninist poster".Each of us was strapped around our necks with a large wooden board weighing more than ten kilograms, with our names written on it.We were ordered to sit on the ground, and no one dared to speak out.I estimate that the time for criticism will not be short.To be on the safe side, first ask permission to go to the toilet.The road was quite far, and I was still hanging the wooden sign, beeping, staggering, and trekking hard. When I arrived at the destination, I quickly completed the task with a superhuman speed and went back to sit on the ground and wait for orders.My heart beats like a drum, who knows what kind of storm this is?

The time finally arrived. Although it was not three quarters in the afternoon, the taste was similar.Only a loud shout was heard in the distance: "Take them away!" So a large group of strong men came up, and each two dealt with a prisoner. hand.After walking a long way, I arrived at Xuesan Canteen, which I vaguely recognized at that time.Enter through the door on the left, line up and get on the jet.There is no podium, and the moderator and speakers stand behind a table on level ground.I only caught a glimpse of Peng Peiyun on my right hand.The order of the rest of the people is unclear.All the rituals are done.First, there was the sound of "knock down" that shook the roof tiles, probably every prisoner was knocked down once.Then respectfully read the quotations, anyway, it is still the same set of "revolution is not a dinner party" and so on.Then comes the critical speech.To be honest, I didn't hear a word, and I didn't want to hear a word, I've heard enough of that nonsense, and I'm tired of hearing it.I only hear the speaker hoarse, almost howling, in order to show his loyalty to someone.It doesn't bother me, my nerves are numb to this stuff.What I am most concerned about is to hope that the criticism and struggle will end as soon as possible.I couldn't look at my watch, probably not wearing it at the time.I counted silently in my heart: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and kept counting until I reached two or three thousand, and the howling of wolves continued in my ears.But my exercised legs were a little too much, and there were stars in my eyes, and my head was so dizzy that I couldn't count.Looking sideways, the ground in front of Peng Peiyun was already dripping with sweat from his head.Instead, I didn't pay attention to what was going on in front of me.At this time, I only felt that the wooden sign on the neck was getting heavier and heavier, and the iron wire hanging the sign was getting more and more pierced into the flesh.I was in a semi-comatose state.

After an unknown amount of time, there was only a shout in my ear: "Put them all out!" I knew that the ceremony was over.But just like the previous criticism in the dining hall, the ceremony was not completely over. "The mouse pulls the shovel, but the big head is still behind."I was escorted out of Xuesan Canteen, and at least three students or workers were "serving" me.His arms were bent over his back, and he didn't know how many hands were stuck around his neck. Of course, he couldn't lift his head, and he couldn't even stand up straight.That's how it got dragged down the road.I can't tell you how many people are "appreciating" on both sides, at least more than when criticizing and fighting in the big dining hall.Only the noise of people can be heard, like the sound of mosquitoes on a summer night.It was another swim; but much faster than the previous one.I've got so much baggage on me and just been on a jet.If I were to walk by myself, I would not be able to walk so fast.So the young man next to me dragged me away, not holding me up, like dragging a dead dog.My shoes rub against the ground on the concrete road and stones.The fronts of the shoes were worn out, and the socks that protected the toes were certainly not worth wearing, so the toes had to do their own thing.In this way, the result can be imagined.I had no way of knowing whether there was blood at that time, and I didn't even feel pain at all.Small stones are often hit on the head.I seem to have lost consciousness, I don't know if I am in the world or in a dream.I don't know where I was dragged and which way I took.It looked as if it had been dragged to the big dining room.Somehow, he was dragged back again.Several people threw me to the ground.When I woke up for a while, I realized that I was lying outside the gate of the coal factory. This action is truly extraordinary.It is different from the previous criticisms and wandering fights.I was completely exhausted, lying on the ground and unable to get up again.My head is dizzy, my eyes are blurry, my ears are buzzing, and my heart is pounding.In the trance, I felt the bleeding from my toes, which was a piercing pain.I'm completely devastated.At this time, the surroundings suddenly fell silent, the critics left, and the appreciators went to eat somewhere.He looked up and saw two people beside him: one was Zhang Xueshu and the other was Wang Enyong.It seems that there are only three of us being denounced in the universe.They were both younger than I was, and stronger.It was the two of them who picked me up and brought me home.This kind of action of helping each other in suffering is something I will never forget in my life.