Chapter 42 Section 42

Galaxy, hello! I'm too lazy, it's too shameless, I haven't written to you for a week, why did you forgive me?I'm writing to you now, to his political economy and that tall lanky teacher!They can't bother me.Besides, Mr. Wang would not take two points easily. The Democracy Wall is becoming more and more lively, and I'm sure it will have a long life.The people have grown up.Today I saw a publication called "Today", and I secretly appreciated it.I think their thoughts can communicate with me.Let’s be honest: I’m not all the same as ××, ××, and I’m not the same as ×××.I don't think with impassionedness, only thought oppresses me to be impassioned.In fact, I didn’t see anything on it, only the thoughts in a few verses seemed to me, unlike reading other people’s things, their thoughts were completely strange, and even felt very wrong.

My brother also had good reviews for Today, though we think a lot of it is bullshit.It seems that the publication was not done by one person, and the level of that group of people is not very consistent. In short, more and more things are seen on the Democracy Wall, and we should watch it every day. And I love you so much.Why are you suspicious?I am never indifferent. wavelet Hello Xiaobo. You are my heaven, but I am your hell.I have caused you too much pain and trouble.Although our love is very sweet, it also has too much bitterness.It's all my fault, all my fault.I sometimes hate myself so much that I feel like a bad person.You said yesterday that we are both good people, very good people, is that true?Sometimes I feel like I'm so bad, so bad.Come and save me, you are my angel, you always give me the best feelings, you are so kind.I am willing to have, I will never have enough, because I often feel that I am very poor, sometimes even very empty.I remember you also said: I want to.Then I will give it too, I am willing to give it too!Our happiness, let it be stronger, stronger!

We always take things too seriously, we should lighten up, we should dance and dance like a couple of madmen, right?Life is beautiful, very beautiful! ... Xiaobo, you thought you found a good friend, but did you think of it?Maybe you're paying too much for it, chief among them: You'll lose your peace forever.I will not let you be quiet, because I am a very restless, overly sensitive, even a little neurotic soul.I am most afraid of indifference, even if there is a little bit, you will lose me.I can't stand apathy at all, really.Can you always be as enthusiastic as you are now and even surpass it?Can you satisfy my "want" forever?You said: To want, for me, is to give.Can you think like this forever?And I also love jealousy, I even envy the heroine in your novel and the little girl who was obsessed.Am I being ridiculous?Just a little perverted.Can you take it?I've heard people say that a woman's jealousy is a virtue, isn't it?That proves that I love you very much, and I don't want your feelings to be divided by other things, but don't listen to me, write it down, write it down.

Can we be happy?Can?This question often bothers me.What you said yesterday reassured me.You are smart and sincere.You always find a way for us.May you always be successful. I copied to you the diary of January 8th, it was full of longing and a beating heart, but I found that you didn’t write it to me, I looked at my passionate words like a leaf thrown on the water and it didn’t matter I wrote it when I stirred up some ripples, felt ashamed, and felt my self-esteem was damaged. "I felt a moment of disappointment. What's the matter with him? Does he have only animal feelings for me? Do I really love him? Why am I so easily shaken? My heart is like a restless fawn, Always run away, any stimulus, any negligence, any slack, will make it run away, how can this work? Can we be happy in this way? I should tell him."

Forgive me if I break your heart, because we have said in the past that we should tell each other what happened in our hearts.Otherwise, it becomes an insidious crisis. Ever since my first love, I seem to go against the general rules and don't know what love is.You said yesterday that wanting is love.I take your word for it.I am a very lonely person at times, and even though I am close to my friends and family, I still often feel horribly alone.I am not pretentious, just like you are not pretentious.I'm not a difficult person to understand either.But I think the only one who really understands me is you.I want my parents to be happy and satisfied, but I will be desperate if they are not happy or not.I am a free man, no one can control me.As long as we can be happy.And this is exactly what worries me the most, can we?Can?I often ask myself this question.You love me so passionately, miss me, and I am especially willing to cater to you and satisfy you.I think it can bring you happiness, because I can make you happy, this is my happiest thing, and I am also proud to masturbate.A person who brings happiness to others is happy, you know that?I often think, I want to be more beautiful for you, I hope you love my whole body, and I want it to be beautiful because of you.I even asked if you liked the scent.I am willing to become what you want, and I hope to give you everything.Do you understand what I'm saying?I seem to be talking nonsense, talking nonsense.I also want you to be beautiful, you know?I dreamed that you became beautiful.

What kind of life can we have?By the way, you said that you and ×× are not in the same way. I also feel this. Maybe this is what I like. I can distinguish you from them all at once from so many people (in my mother’s words: It's stuck at one end...) Maybe that's why.But I don't think it's different, I think the quality is different.If their hearts are brass (or silver), then you are gold.You should not compare yourself to them.Sometimes, being unconscious and shy about one's own talents destroys and spoils one's self.But I think you are not very hardworking and tough enough, so I don't know if you are right.

Do you want to be what I want too?Do you want to?You don’t like to reform, and I don’t want to reform you, but I will tell you what I want from you, are you willing to listen?