Chapter 19 Section 19

Galaxy, hello! I haven't written to you for two weeks, and I don't know what to write when I pick up my pen.I can't write like I'm talking to you in front of me, because the imaginary you can't talk or laugh. I remembered that you were angry because I said some foul words that day.I confess to you, I used to swear, because the workers around me said it, and I was a worker.What we say is sometimes ugly, but we just laugh at it as something funny in our hearts.I'm more than half a brute.I can't be any other way when I'm with them.Do I have any reason to put on a show?

My crime is mainly that I shouldn't have babbled there, which is really inexcusable.I repent and say no more.Resolutely don't say any more.You must not think that these foul words have any place in my inner world, it is a cloak. I remembered the quarrel between you and ×× that you said.According to me it's your fault.We shouldn't keep talking about something we don't understand.If I recall correctly, the "two oars" parable was one of the most unserious little jokes in the Reader's Digest column, and why should you take it seriously. I don't have the energy to do anything right now, especially not to be serious.My brother said I might not be good at anything because I was "lazy like a pig".He's a rambunctious fellow, but he might have a point in what he said, and it kind of discouraged me anyway.

Tell you, I'm the easiest to get discouraged, a little thing will make me not write anything for three months, just repeat in my heart "You are an ordinary person, fool!" I really don't know where the power comes from.I thought, you know, just don't tell me.You, you must not believe that I am a good man, and think I will laugh at you.I'm really a good guy and I have the deepest feelings for a lot of people, especially you.I would love to do good things for others, especially for you.I really want to give you all the good things I can do. I'm reading "David Copperfield" right now, it's a really good book.I can read books like this now.What affection do they have for men!Modern writers never care one-eighth as much about others as they do about themselves.I hate them for this.They write about their grievances and their idleness, how is this possible?One cannot but love others.

I am also very bad, and I always look at people with the harshest eyes.You must never forgive me for this.If you love me don't forgive me for this.By the way, do you love me?You have to teach me well, teach me to love everyone.Do you agree? Also, I don't like to think that I have any right to tell right from wrong for others, and you must hate me for that.They always say that everyone should be this good and that good, and I always doze off listening to it. I also don't believe that ×× says that everything right and wrong is determined now.I believe that people like you are doing great good things. If you do more good things like this, you will be able to distinguish right from wrong.In short, it is ridiculous to talk about right and wrong, no matter what is right and wrong is a bit stubborn (this sentence is very confusing, you can let it go), the most correct is you.It is you who are preparing to do good.If the world gets better it's not someone else's credit, it's people like you.

I talked nonsense again, don't make you angry again with anything.You cry when you are angry, and I am stunned when I see you cry, just like a child who has done something bad and is dumbfounded before he is blamed, so don't cry for anything, blame me first, okay? Wavelet August 22