Chapter 5 Oedipus complex

Oedipus is a legendary hero of Thebes in Greece.The myths and legends about Oedipus were adapted into the great tragedy "Oedipus the King" by Sophocles in the fifth century BC.In modern literature, the image of Oedipus also inspired Corneille, Voltaire, Shelley, Pushkin and others. This is a mythical story with a strong artistic charm, which has become more widely known in modern times due to Freud's psychoanalysis of it and the so-called "Oedipus complex".The myth of Oedipus And Freud's analysis of "Oedipus complex" will enable us to find new enlightenment in the exploration of perspective personality.

According to legend, Oedipus was the son of King Laios of Thebes and Queen Iocasta.King Laius heard the prophecy that he would die at the hands of his father and son, so when Oedipus was born, he pierced his feet (the name Oedipus means "swollen feet"). ”), and ordered a slave to throw Oedipus to the wild beasts.The slave took pity on the boy and gave him to the shepherds of Polybus, king of Corinth.Later, he was adopted by Polybus.As Oedipus grows up, he never doubts that King Polybus is his real father.When Oedipus became an adult, he received a prophecy from the Delphi oracle: he would kill his father and marry his mother.Afraid of the oracle, he decided to leave King Polybus and Queen Merope forever.In his wanderings and wanderings, he came to a crossroads, met Laios, king of Thebes, and killed the king in a conflict.The king's attendants were all killed except one who escaped.Thus the first part of the oracle was fulfilled: he became a parricide.

On the way to Thebes, he met the monster Sphinx.The Sphinx, standing guard at the crossroads leading to Thebes, asked passers-by to guess a riddle: "Who walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the daytime, and three legs in the evening?" people will be eaten.After Oedipus guessed the riddle, the monster Sphinx immediately fell into the abyss, and the road to Thebes was safe from then on.The people of Thebes were grateful and chose the savior as the new king, and made Iocasta, the widow of the former king Laios, his wife.They had two sons and two daughters. After Oedipus had been a well-governed king for a few years, there was famine and plague in Thebes.The Delphi oracle prophesied that the disaster could be eliminated only by exiling the murderer who killed the former king Laios.Concerned about the country and the people, Oedipus tried his best to arrest criminals.Finally, he found the only servant of the old king who escaped from danger, and then he realized that he was the murderer who killed the old king of Thebes.The witness to the murder is again the same slave who delivered Oedipus as a baby to the shepherds of King Polybus.Oedipus was horrified, and all the ominous prophecies were fulfilled: he not only killed his father, but also married his mother.

Oedipus blinded himself, and his mother Iocasta committed suicide.There are different opinions about his remaining life.The oldest myth says that Oedipus, who was blind, spent the rest of his life in Thebes.Later myths say that he was exiled by his sons, and that when he left Thebes he cursed his son, and that the father's curse became the cause of discord and death among the brothers. The simple explanation that can be made for this myth is that the legend of a child who brings misfortune has been widely circulated among many peoples, and the myth of Oedipus is one such legend.The prohibition of intermarriage between parents and children originated in ancient times, and the punishment of Oedipus is a reflection of this.Oedipus may have been a pre-Greek god.Southern and central Greece still retain traces of his worship in classical times. (See "Dictionary of Myths" [Former Soviet Union] M. H. Botvinnik and others edited by the Commercial Press, 1985 Chinese edition)

The myth of Oedipus and the tragedies based on it preceded Freud like the usual myths and plays.Only after Freud's analysis did human beings have a new understanding of this story. Freud once analyzed the story of Oedipus in the book "The Interpretation of Dreams". He pointed out that the reason why the tragedy "Oedipus the King" written by Sophocles is so important to ancient and modern people All have the same strong shocking power, not because it reveals the tragic conflict between the fate represented by God's will and the personal will, because other descriptions of the conflict between fate and personal will

No so-called tragedy has produced such a power to shake the soul as Oedipus the Rex.He believes that the shocking power of this tragedy is because it triggers a deep psychological complex in every member of human society, which is the son's "Oedipus complex", or more sharply, "the complex of killing his father and marrying his mother". ".Freud called this complex the "Oedipus complex".This has become a common concept in psychoanalysis worldwide. Freud found in his research that the Oedipus complex is seen in children aged three to five. Boys in this age group have had dreams of "killing their father and marrying their mother" in one way or another, and it becomes a latent complex. in the deep consciousness of the child.Similarly, girls at this age are "Electra complex" and have the instinctive desire to love their father and mother. Freud called it "Electra complex (Electra complex)". In Greek mythology, Electra, who participated in the killing of his own mother.

According to Freud, the Oedipus complex (as well as the Electra complex) in children between the ages of three and five usually ends when the child identifies with a same-sex parent and suppresses his sexual instincts.This stage is passed smoothly if the relationship with the parent is close and traumatizing, and the parent's attitude is neither overly restraining nor overly stimulating.But if trauma is present, an "infant neurosis" occurs, and a similar reaction occurs in adulthood.According to Freud, the "superego" is a moral factor that dominates the conscious adult psyche and originates in the process of overcoming the Oedipus complex.Responding against the Oedipus complex is the most important social achievement of the human psyche.

According to Freud's theory, we can clearly see that the reason why the story of Oedipus has a shocking artistic power is because it touches the complex hidden in the deep memory of everyone's childhood.The experience of Oedipus inadvertently "killing his father and marrying his mother" satisfies the desire of "killing his father and marrying his mother" deep in people's hearts in a hidden way.And Oedipus's self-punishment of blinding his eyes at the end shows the guilt and repentance of human beings towards Oedipus complex.This kind of self-punishment and repentance itself shows the efforts of human civilization to resist and overcome the Oedipus complex.

Freud's discovery of the Oedipus complex was unprecedented, although subsequent psychoanalysts and other schools of psychologists have pointed out that Freud's description is not completely accurate and still has limitations in some respects , but this does not obliterate the brilliance of Freud's great discovery. The discovery of the Oedipus complex is a major achievement in the process of human beings exploring themselves.The riddle given by the monster Sphinx waiting at the crossroads leading to the Kingdom of Thebes is a metaphor that human beings must know themselves: what thing uses four legs in the morning?

walk?It is the morning of life, when childhood crawls on all fours; likewise, the noon of life, when adulthood walks on two legs; and finally, the night of life, when old age walks on three legs with a stick.When people in the world cannot answer the riddle of the Sphinx, they can only be eaten by monsters, because people who lack knowledge of themselves cannot obtain the right to live; once humans know themselves, the monsters that devour us will immediately fall into the abyss , the road to the kingdom of freedom will open. Now, we must not only grasp Freud's discovery, but also start from it, overcome Freud's limitations, and make more profound discoveries.In the analysis of the myth of Oedipus, and in the observation of our own experience and what we have heard and seen, we should more thoroughly discover the manifestation of the Oedipus complex in human society.

Let us first explore the general manifestations of the Oedipus complex in human society. As the germ of life, it can be asserted that a person has already begun to gradually form sex during the fetal period, which is easily proved by modern physiology.Life from this time on has biologically had the initial sex characteristics.Then he is born, expressing his male or female sex in a fully determinate and generally irreversible complete form. As far as biology is concerned, he (she) appears in the world with a definite gender.If he had a phallic penis raised like a bird, he would be identified as a boy by his biological parents (parents) and by the environment as a whole.This explicit identification of gender brings with it a whole set of related attitudes. The whole system of attitudes of the parents, and all the surrounding circumstances, when they see him as a boy, has given him a certain psychological environment from the first day of his life.At this time, his gender has not only physical characteristics, but also psychological significance.From the moment he was born, he was treated like a boy.All the gazes, all the caresses, all the laughs, all the cares, and all the words around him imprinted a boy's psychological mark on his young life. Children grow up in a gendered culture.As the little baby grows day by day, he takes on more and more definite genders in his biological parentage and in the environment with which he is related.When the social environment treats him more and more as a boy, this kind of psychological nurturing with gender characteristics together with physical nurturing creates the growth of the little boy.The little boy is developing simultaneously in two aspects of sexual physiology and sexual psychology.His sexual consciousness became more and more obvious, and there were many obvious manifestations when he was one or two years old.And at the age of three to five, we see the typical Oedipus complex.In his world, there is mainly only one opposite sex, that is mother, and there is mainly only one same sex, that is father.His sexual consciousness is very concentrated as Oedipus hates father. When human beings have not received Freud's warnings, and when the general public lacks common sense of psychology, all this is not only unconscious in the little boy himself, but also ignorant in his parents and surrounding adults.When a little boy raised a toy pistol and yelled "kill daddy" during play, the adults around him and the father himself would all laugh and find it interesting.When the adult asked the little boy with a smile, "Who will you marry when you grow up?" The little boy blurted out "marry your mother", which attracted the joyful laughter of the adults, including his parents.This little scene, which has happened in tens of thousands of families, has been innocent but undoubtedly exposed the little boy's Oedipus-hating complex. At the age of children, this kind of oedipus and father-hating may even turn into a naive and foolish delusion of marrying the mother and killing the father. This phenomenon has been repeatedly discovered by psychologists such as Freud in psychiatric cases.At this stage, the Oedipus complex of the little boy is very strong, especially in certain family environments, which will especially make this complex grow stronger. If it is not a boy but a girl, the Oedipus complex becomes the Elektra complex.There are few exceptions, except in relatively special cases.Facing this fact squarely is a necessary part of self-knowledge, and it is the wisdom that human beings must have to defeat the Sphinx monster. The Oedipus complex can be said to be the most powerful complex at a certain age in children, and it controls this young life.It is also from this stage that human culture imposes norms on him, which makes him start the long process of confronting and overcoming his own Oedipus complex. This process may initially begin with awareness of Oedipus shame.When his mother stopped bathing with him, when she stopped sleeping with him in his arms, he became vaguely aware of the boundaries drawn by these changes.Maybe yesterday mother led him Go to the women's bathroom to take a bath together, but today this enjoyment is deprived, he can only reluctantly follow his father into the men's bathroom; maybe he slept in his mother's arms last night, today he must get used to lying alone small bed.The profound impact of this change on a little boy's psychology can be said to be like lightning and thunder.Under the cultural influence of a series of "children avoid their mothers", no matter how much he misses the scene of bathing and sleeping with his mother, those days are gone forever.Day by day, he knew the injustice and shame of his attempt in the norms of human culture. He also gradually realized the true meaning of the relationship between father and mother, and also realized the relationship between parents sleeping in the same bed.The parents' bed is something he shouldn't covet and aspire to. A growing boy has to get used to sleeping alone in his own little bed.At this time, he often surrounds and looks at his parents' bed with extremely complicated eyes: on the one hand, he may be hostile to the father who separates him from his mother in his heart; It is an order that I have to accept. Under the proper regulation of his parents, the little boy gradually adapted to the fact that he was growing up day by day.He also saw not only the specific relationship between parents, but also all the relationships between a man and a woman in the world.He began to understand gradually.He is gradually understanding the meaning of marriage between men and women. As the radius of his activities gradually expanded, he gradually realized his more complete boy role in his interactions with girls of the same age.Now, he is not only a boy to his mother, but also a boy to a girl.All kinds of play-house games, all kinds of beautiful fairy tales, all kinds of jokes about the relationship between him and the little girls made him dream and guess dimly about his future relationship with these girls.It is in the contact with girls of the same age that he gradually forms a real masculine self-awareness. In this way, he has a certain identification with his father.He began to follow the example of his father.Because he has to face girls of the same age, he has to face the world, and he has to play the role of a man. At this time, his tall father is his first role model in life.The recognition and imitation of father is a particularly important psychological development of boys in childhood. If his father is strong and loving, this development will go well.If his father is incompetent and vicious, it will naturally be more difficult to grow up.For a boy at this stage of development, his mother is still his most loving object, but this love will be gradually suppressed and become more of a warm and reliable source.But the image of his father in his mind is complicated: under the norms of human culture, he gradually restrained his hostility towards his father, turning it into a subconscious that became more and more unconscious, and at the same time developed a growing dislike for his father. More adoration.The authority of the father is the most huge existence that cannot be underestimated, standing tall like a god, and becoming a symbol of the order that must be obeyed.This kind of worship naturally contains awe, and it is this kind of awe that may become the psychological basis for a person to lead to religious belief. After the age of five, the child's activity radius gradually exceeds that of the family, and the proportion of parents in his life decreases.Especially when he was walking to school with his schoolbag on his back, the relationship with his parents was further relaxed, and he had his own social life.He not only has to socialize with boys and girls of the same age, but also with children of different ages.At this time, he has more sufficient conditions for further overcoming the Oedipus complex.If the family life, school life, and social life he experiences are all normal, then the little boy will gradually accept order, be able to treat his parents correctly, and treat homosexuals and opposite sexes of different ages correctly.In many cases, we often don't see the Oedipus-hating complex he once had, but what we see is that he treats his harmonious parents with a harmonious attitude. In an ordinary family with a strict father and a loving mother, a normal son who complied with the family system grew up. After the age of seventeen or eighteen, the son gradually became an adult.At this time, another significant change began in his relationship with his parents.He still respects his father, however, he may have more questions and reservations about his father's instructions.The really noticeable change is in attitudes towards mothers.Before he knew it, he became mentoring his mother more often.Because of his knowledge, but also because of his assertiveness, he made more and more voices to teach his mother.The mother at this time often shows a willingness to be taught by her son, and is happy because of this protection and domination from the male world. The male role of the son is becoming more and more mature. He somewhat regards his mother as a woman of the same age, and he is showing the superiority and responsibility of a man.When the mother has to discuss everything with the son, and the son is used to issuing guiding opinions, the son grows up.At this time, the mother will often have an obedient smile on her face, while the son will be plausible and confident.Faced with this harmonious picture, the smiling and silent father often felt uncomfortable in his heart that he didn't want to reveal.When he was tolerant, he praised his son's growth in his inner monologue; when he was narrow-minded, he felt the stimulation and jealousy of being excluded. The father's psychological reaction explained the potential meaning of the son's behavior, that is, he was unconsciously competing for the father's position.The reason why he has such a great enthusiasm for teaching his mother is not only because of his love for her, not only because of showing his maturity, not only because he is inspired by his mother's trust, but also because of the underlying impulse that teaching and protecting mothers used to be unique to fathers. He is full of passion because he unconsciously competes for this position. When the mother obediently looked up at the eloquent teachings of the tall and handsome son, the father at this time gradually digested the stimulation he received under the norms of human culture, and accepted this new family with a tolerant and even happy smile. fact.After a not very long and not very short period of this not very bearable, but not too difficult stimulus, it finally passed.Neither the wife nor the son understands the psychological toll of being a father. A new page begins.The son walked out of the house and formed his own small family.The relationship between parents and son has finally successfully passed the history of living together. Further down, the son will become a father, and like his own father, he will also face the newborn son.The new Oedipus complex will begin its germination and growth process from the fetal period of a new life. We have seen that the Oedipus complex is a universal and powerful complex, which exists in almost every child and has become to a large extent an important complex that affects personality throughout life.We have also seen that the culture of morality, ethics, and order in human society may be more powerful. Under its norms, everyone is going through a process of suppressing and overcoming the Oedipus complex formed in childhood. For most people, this process will be completed relatively smoothly.Not only did they learn how to deal with Parents have also learned how to treat their children correctly.The boy's growth process we described in the previous section roughly represents this normal situation. However, delving into various psychological phenomena, we have to point out that each person needs certain conditions in resisting and overcoming the Oedipus complex.The conditions are different, the results of resistance and overcoming are different, which will cause huge differences in personality.Due to the defects of conditions, non-sound personality and pathological personality are not uncommon social phenomena. Freud once mentioned a typical case caused by the Oedipus complex in the book "Interpretation of Dreams": "In another opportunity, I had a very deep understanding of the subconscious mind of a young man who suffered from The obsessive-compulsive neurotic can barely live. He dares not go out on the streets because he fears he will kill anyone he meets on the street. He spends his days preparing various alibi in case he is charged with the city The murders that took place were implicated. Incidentally, he was a man of good education and good morals. Analysis of him (which, incidentally, led to his recovery) showed that the basis of this symptom was from killing him. Some overly strict father's impulse. To his surprise, this impulse was consciously expressed at the age of seven, but the actual germination was much earlier than this time. When his father was suffering from illness After the death, the patient's compulsive self-blame emerged, which he (then 31 years old) took the form of a diverted terror to strangers. He felt how a man who wanted to push his own father off the top of a mountain to his death Possibly to respect the lives of those with whom he has no relationship? So it is entirely understandable that he locked himself in the room. "In my experience, which has been extensive, parents play a large role in the psychic life of all children who later become psychoneurotics. Loving one and hating the other is one of many psychic impulses The basic constituents that develop in childhood and play a dominant role in the present condition. "I don't believe that psychoneurotics are so different from normal people in that they can create something new and special. It is more likely that they differ in that they show more respect for children than most other children. The more obvious and stronger love and deeper hatred of parents can be verified in the occasional observation of normal children." ("Freud Anthology" Vol. 1, pp. 457-458, edited by Che Wenbo) An Oedipus complex that has not been suppressed and overcome creates this obsessive-compulsive neurosis that seems somewhat glaring.It was with this case as an introduction that Freud entered into the analysis of the myth and script of Oedipus in this book. The Oedipus complex is not only a universal complex, but it will cause mental illness if it is not properly restrained.There is ample evidence that there are countless mental illnesses similar to those caused by the Oedipus complex.However, due to the shackles of various pedantic traditional concepts, today's society is still largely taboo about talking about sexual psychology issues such as the Oedipus complex. It seems that this topic has destroyed a series of beautiful sayings such as fatherly love, motherly love, and children's family affection It is quite rebellious, and as a result, mental illnesses that are really rebellious are born from this. Even in those modern societies that are fully open, psychological common sense about the Oedipus complex is often shelved.It may also be busy with various realistic pursuits and activities, or it may be psychological instinctive rejection. Psychological issues such as the Oedipus complex have become a blind spot for many modern people.Because the Oedipus complex has not been properly overcome, the result is that many unhealthy and deformed personalities are active in the modern society with piles of high-rise buildings. In this way, we must study what are the normal conditions for human beings to overcome the Oedipus complex?What conditional flaws are creating the tragedy of personality? According to Freud's findings and more generalizations of psychological phenomena, we clearly see that the following conditions are required for a person to successfully resist and overcome the Oedipus complex: One, the relationship with biological parents (parents) was relatively close and trauma-free during childhood. This kind of trauma can occur due to many specific circumstances, such as the divorce of parents, such as a parent's mental illness or other disability that affects the basic life situation of the child, such as the father's alcoholism, rough treatment of the child, such as one of the parents abusing the child, or Incest between parents can be traumatic to young children. If the case of mental illness is taken more seriously, it can be argued that a considerable amount of trauma is caused by circumstances that are much more common than the above.Sometimes, a wrongful reprimand, criticism, punishment, and snub from a parent can create a traumatic relationship between a child and his or her parents. hurt. Second, the biological parents (parents) have a close and moderate attitude towards their children, without excessive restraint and stimulation. If the son does not get enough maternal love and his desire for maternal love is overly suppressed, then the son's personality development to overcome the Oedipus complex will be hindered.If the son is overly pampered and the Oedipus is overly stimulated, the son will also be hindered in his personality growth. If the father is too harsh or even hostile to his son, the son will be inhibited in the process of needing to identify with and imitate his father of the same sex. Similarly, his process of overcoming the Oedipus complex and gradually developing his personality will be hindered.If the father dotes on his son too much and even is submissive and weak in front of his son, then the son will also lose the necessary conditions for the normal development of personality. Oedipus complex five When I was a medical student, one day, the professor walked into the classroom with a new willow.On its tender green branches, there are light yellow leaf buds sprouting, like waking up from a big dream.We didn't know what the always rigorous teacher was going to do, the professor snapped the willow branch.The green and hairy tops withered immediately, only the green skin drooped raggedly, and the juice splashed out full of bitter breath.The professor said, today we are talking about bones.There is an important name in medicine called "willow branch fracture", which means that although the bone is broken at this moment, it is still inextricably linked with the whole.Our duty is to connect such broken bones. It requires extra calmness and patience... Once, to Daxinganling.The old hunter told me that if you get lost, you can walk out of the mountains along the willows. I asked why?The old hunter said that the willow is the first green in spring, and the last yellow in autumn.Where there are willow trees, there must be running water, and the water flows out of the mountains, so follow it and you will find your way home. With a move in my heart, I remembered the willow tree as home. A girlfriend cried to me about her family, saying that what she hopes for is the purity and peace of the family.The frightening thing is that all of this is on the verge of shattering recently. Although the roots are broken, she wants to use a knife to fall... I knew that although her home was crumbling, it wasn't a matter of love and justice, so I told her about a broken willow branch.Since a plant can heal its painful wounds and send out new branches and leaves in the original place according to the instinct of life, we can also try to repair it more tenaciously and patiently. The girlfriend hesitated and said, modern things, if they are not broken, they have to be thrown away, and the chopsticks are all disposable...not to mention the home that is full of holes now! I said that home is a living spirit.Just because the home is alive, you will get sick and recover.Since superb instruments will fail, Lingfei's rockets will explode, sophisticated computers will be infected with viruses, and the blue sky will also suffer from El Niño. Of course, marriages can also be fractured. We are the makers of our own families, and we are the healers of our own families.Every family is created by the emotions and hands of men and women. Of course, the warranty certificate of the family is also solemnly signed by both parties.A home is a wooden chair, which needs frequent oiling and repairing.In the rainy season, move it to bask in the sun, so as not to produce a little moldy fog.In autumn, you should take a walk in the fields, feel the caress of the breeze, and remember the expectation of spring. Repairing the family is a matter for both parties, and it must not be arranged by one party.In the treatment of fractures, the wound surface should be cleaned thoroughly, and no purulent bacteria should be left behind.When welding two steel plates, the burrs of the butt joints must be beaten to remove old rust, exposing clean gaps, so that they can be refused under the flames.If there is no painful parting and polishing, even if it is just a piece of heel glued together, it will fall off again after a few steps... Concession and compromise are by no means repairing, it is hiding dirt and lingering, it is humiliating oneself, waiting for us It will only be more pain. Repairing is a more tedious project than discarding.Repairing is a harder trek than discarding.Repairing is a more time-consuming and labor-intensive experience than discarding.Repairing is a finer art than discarding. After listening to my words, my girlfriend half-believed and dubiously said, the house that has been connected with a crack is like a cured bowl in the countryside in the early years, will it still be strong? I said, we also asked the professor back then, after the broken willow branch has grown up, will it burst in place when it is subjected to heavy pressure and impact again? The professor replied with a smile that when woodcutters went to the mountains to chop wood, they all knew that the most difficult tree burrs to be cut by the ax blade were exactly the places where the trees healed after being broken. When we use a broader perspective to examine various personality cases in life, we will find that those boys who lack maternal love since childhood often behave as pessimists as adults.In their eyes, life is gloomy. Facing the world, they behave withdrawn and indifferent, complaining about others, which is undoubtedly a flawed personality. If we further examine the family environment of these boys, we find that: if the lack of maternal love is because the mother’s mind is on the father, then the boy will hate his father more while he loves his mother; The son is placed in the society and has no time to take care of the son. While the son loves his mother, he also hates the society. The father also has a huge decisive role in the development of the son's personality. It is an important condition for a father to show his son the necessary paternal love and to stick to principles appropriately, which is to help his son overcome the Oedipus complex and develop a sound personality. If the son has little fatherly love and the father is too harsh, the son's Oedipus complex will take a very strong form. in a manner of confrontation with his father.This paternalistic phenomenon is evident in the childhood of many boys. In this case, if the mother still has enough and moderate maternal love for her son, and because of her relatively strong personality, she can compete with the father, then the son can always feel the support of the mother under the rule of the father, regardless of any conflicts in the heart. can be comforted in time.At this time, his Oedipus and father-hating tendencies are naturally obvious.If the mother is a magnanimous woman who is good at mediating the relationship between her husband and son, then the son may not only endure the harsh discipline of the father under the protection of the mother, but also gradually get used to and accept the family order where the parents coexist. Come and treat your father with the right attitude.Most of the boys who grow up in such a family may maintain normal personalities, and quite a few of them often become rebellious characters. If the father is very severe, and the loving mother is not strong enough to counteract the father's harsh attitude towards the son, the Oedipus complex formed in childhood will develop in another type of abnormality. It is in this environment that some boys end up with multiple neuroses.The father's harsh reprimand from childhood to adulthood destroyed the child's interest and self-confidence in learning.For a child, to a considerable extent, he learns for the reward of his parents.When his father put successive accusations on him, he may also have had a confrontational feeling of gritting his teeth and fighting for breath. However, he finally could not bear the blow of this reprimand.When there was a downward trend in academic performance that seemed difficult to reverse, although he seemed to be still working hard, subconsciously, he was already somewhat broken in order to retaliate against his father who scolded him all day long.He may have a strong hostility towards his father throughout his life, and at the same time, he will have various kinds of self-guilt and guilt for this emotion throughout his life. In the family, he did not learn how to treat his mother correctly and how to treat his father correctly.Because when parents fail to treat their sons correctly, they deprive their sons of the opportunity to learn to treat their parents correctly.And a child who doesn't treat his parents rightly loses the ability to treat everyone rightly. If in a family where the father is very strict, the mother not only cannot resist the father, but also obeys everything because she is afraid of her husband, or even becomes an accomplice of her husband by helping the tyrant, the son's Oedipus complex will have another more abnormal development. .At this time, the son not only strongly hates his father, but also shows strong hatred of his mother.In some cases, mother-hatred is far more powerful than father-hatred. This psychological logic is very easy to understand.In the naive thinking of a child's dream, the mother was the first woman he loved, and the father was the first opponent he competed with.When the mother sacrifices her son and stands on the side of the harsh father like an echo, the son's love for his mother is hit the hardest, and the Oedipus emotion in the young mind will inevitably turn into hatred through disappointment and despair.Boys who grow up in such deformed families often harbor unforgivable hatred for their mothers throughout their lives. And when this kind of hatred spreads, it is often manifested as a great distrust of older women, which later becomes a misunderstanding in his social life. Such boys often show a kind of "unreasonable" domineering in love relationships after they grow up.He often asks his wife or lover to be absolutely loyal to him, but at the same time allows himself to have various love behaviors of "extensive cultivation and low income".This kind of domineering is so strong that it will even make a fuss because of the other party's so-called disloyal behavior.Such a personality can be found from time to time as long as we observe with a deliberate eye. If, on the contrary, the father's love exceeds the limit and is manifested as excessive indulgence, this usually occurs when the mother's love is not sufficient, or the mother has no time to take care of the son, or the mother has left the family, or the mother has passed away, and the father alone bears the responsibility. All or most of the child's care responsibilities, this situation can also make the child's normal personality development very difficult. 一个慈祥而又智慧的父亲会用种种适度的态度帮助儿子战胜各种困难，发展健全的人格。倘若父亲的态度有这样或那样的误区，情况就会比较严重。 一个从小缺乏或丧失母爱的男孩，很难建立起完整的自信，也比较难于建立起生活的乐观态度。至于正确对待异性的能力与素质，更难于从缺乏母爱的成长经历中建立起来。做父亲的要有相当的努力和智慧补救这一点，才可能使孩子克服这一缺陷。 客观地说，这类成功的父亲以及成功的儿子绝非罕见；同样，最终失败的父亲与失败的儿子也绝非罕见。 在比较个别的情况中，我们还看到，在仅有父爱关怀下成长的男孩，有可能被种上同性恋的倾向。这并非骇人听闻之语。对那些像父亲一样和蔼而又成熟的年长男人易生眷恋之情，是这种同性恋倾向最表面的显露。 有关俄狄普斯情结的全部理论落实到人格成因的研究上，突出地告诉我们，儿童与生身亲长（父母）的关系是人格形成的重要因素。健全的人格形成要求健全的童年家庭环境，而不健全的童年家庭环境会造成不健全的人格。有一句格言：幸福的家庭都是相似的，不幸的家庭各有各的不幸。如若把它转译成另一个说法，大概也是成立的： 健全的童年家庭环境都是相似的，不健全的童年家庭环境各有各的不健全。