Chapter 11 Part 11

Seize the best time of life Learning is so cute!It is like a seal, stamped on the check of your life, and you can withdraw it when the time comes.The more checks you have in life, the more you can get both ways, and the more you can "get a flash of light" at a critical moment. Even in the difficulties of life, you can be relieved by your knowledge-enriched mind.It even allows you to transform, turning that pain into chapters and strength. young people!Grab the best time of your life and do some learning for yourself!Not for parents, not for teachers, not for grades, not even for entrance exams.

Just because you want to record more beautiful events and the wisdom of predecessors for your pure heart. Just because you want to forge a key to open every door in life! --------------------------------------------- When a person treats you narrowly, he naturally expects you to treat him narrowly. The giver is always unwilling, and the receiver is always uneasy. False Good People and True Wishes When I first arrived in the United States sixteen years ago, I was invited to hold an art exhibition in a small town in Florida. On the opening day of the art exhibition, the mayor also came.He pulled me to the side, and with a very special expression, he said a very special sentence, which I will never forget.

"Did you know? Our city has become a sister city with a certain city in Taiwan." He said to me, "However, I don't know how to communicate with that city." "Why?" I asked. "Because when we went to visit, they asked thousands of students to line up to welcome them, lay flowers, welcome them with a long line of limousines, and even add police cars to clear the way. , how should we arrange it." The mayor spread his hands: "We are just a small town, and we really can't offer anything. As a result, we dare not invite." human side effects

Not long after, I arrived in New York, and in addition to teaching at the school, I also took students at home. One day, I saw a poor brush used by a foreign student and suggested that he buy better ones. "This is already the best in the store." The student said, "Teacher, can I ask you to buy one for me?" I immediately went to find one and handed it to him: "This pen is for you!" "Really!" The student was very excited. Not long after, he wanted to buy another pen, so I found another one for him.To be honest, the money was not much, and the student worked hard, so I was giving him a prize.

It's just that since then, even though his pen was old and he secretly asked a Chinese student in the same class to buy it, he never asked me again. One day I asked him why.He was very serious and said, "You don't take money, how can I entrust you to buy it?" Comparing the past two events, I suddenly had a feeling: "Could it be that China's human touch has negative side effects when it is brought to foreign countries?" Please pay the bill Before coming to the United States, I often heard people say: Many Chinese people have learned nothing else when they come to the United States. They first learn to be ruthless to their relatives and friends.Even the phone calls are timed to collect money.

After arriving in the United States, for a period of time, it was arranged by the museum to travel around and be received by local people.Sure enough, they sent me a bill for my phone calls too, ticking off the long distance calls I made. "They are so ruthless." Every time I send money, I think: "If you are in China, even if you rush to pay, the owner will not accept it." Just, day by day.After listening too much and seeing too much, I realized that my thoughts might not be right. When a friend comes to live at home and I don't charge any phone charges, he obviously needs to make a 20-minute long-distance call, which may be ended in less than five minutes.The question is, how can you explain in five minutes what was in twenty minutes?If there is an important matter to discuss, and you are afraid of spending more on the owner's phone bill, so you can't talk more, wouldn't you miss a big deal?

So, instead, I said to my visiting friends: "Try to call as much as you can. If you are afraid that I will pay the phone bill and the bill comes later, I will tell you. Don't say what you should say just because you are polite." I found that the other party was calm instead.As a friend said: "It's good of you to do this! Because when I visit other people's homes, they are very polite and never charge for the phone. When I make a call, I feel that the owner is secretly looking at the watch. As a result, when I come out to do business, I don't do anything." it is good."

I'm so glad to hear him say that.However, I am still a little uneasy: friends from China, can you forgive me?Can they forgive me for doing this, is it good for everyone? take what should be taken One day, I read a book written by Yuan Liaofan in the Ming Dynasty (Liaofan Four Lessons), which mentioned two stories about Confucius, which finally made me feel relieved.The story says: According to the laws of the State of Lu, if someone is willing to pay to redeem people captured by neighboring countries as concubines, the government will reward them.Zi Gong, a student of Confucius, ransomed people, but did not accept the bonus.When the child knew it, he scolded him and said, "You are wrong! How can you just do it for your own pleasure and gain fame? Now most of the people in Lu are poor. You have set a bad example and made everyone feel that it is shameful to redeem people and receive rewards." In the future, who will be able to redeem people? From now on, the custom of redeeming people will gradually disappear!"

The book also said: Once Zilu rescued a drowning man, the man gave him a cow as a thank you, and Zilu took it away.When Confucius heard about it, he greatly appreciated it. Mr. Liao Fan wrote a very thought-provoking statement. "If what you do seems good, but the result is good enough to harm others, then it seems good but it is not good. If the action is not good but the result is beneficial to the public, it is not good but it is actually good." He also said: "For example Forgiveness that should not be forgiven, praise others too much, miss big things because of small faith, spoil children and cause serious troubles... etc., all of which are urgently waiting for us to calmly review and improve."

I found that, in fact, Chinese Confucianism has long attached importance to "rationalization", but later on, many people deliberately showed "personal feelings", pretended to be humane, or expressed their magnanimity, resulting in "no distinction between reason and reason". False Good People and True Wishes Reading the history of Chinese painting, there is a story about Shen Zhou, a great painter in the Ming Dynasty, which I will never forget.According to the book, Shen Zhou's neighbor dropped something and mistakenly thought that a similar thing in Shen Zhou's house belonged to him.After Shen Zhou found out, he sent his things over.Until the one lost by the neighbor was found and returned Shen Zhou's things, Shen Zhou just smiled and said, "Isn't this yours?"

There are many examples of this kind cited in the book, which seem to praise Shen Zhou's "loose-mindedness".But every time I read this, I don’t take it seriously. Is this really a mind?This is basically the "bad good man" and "true hometown wish" that harm Chinese society the most. Speaking of this, I remembered a passage in the book again, and I couldn't help but admire Confucius. Someone asked Confucius if it was good to repay grievances with virtue. Confucius replied: "What do you use to repay virtue?" The Confucian doctrine of "seeking reasonableness" and "not going too far" has been clearly expressed in these two sentences. The question is why the Chinese, who are deeply influenced by Confucianism, forget this truth everywhere. Recently, a Chinese mother who divorced her British husband went to court to bring her child back to Taiwan.The British actually criticized Taiwan as an impersonal place, saying that you were killed on the road and no one rescued you. Although the judge later sentenced the child to the mother, every criticism of the British cannot but make us think deeply.Once upon a time, our most humane country became the most impersonal? Where did that human touch go? The answer should be: to the body of one's own people. narrow human touch I always remember the two TV comedies I watched before -- The two were grabbing a seat on the bus, and suddenly realized that they were acquaintances, so they stopped grabbing, you let me, I let you. A table of people they don't know eats food and wine, and as soon as the food is served, they rush to eat chopsticks.A table of acquainted friends next to it is just the opposite.When the dishes were served, you asked me, I asked you, the most delicious chicken drumsticks, but under the watchful eyes of the table, they stayed until the end and were served. Is this humility really humility?Or is it a kind of "narrow favor"? What's worse is that when a person treats others narrowly, he naturally expects you to treat him narrowly. The giver is always unwilling, and the receiver is always uneasy. Therefore, when you are a chef, you must add two spoonfuls to regular guests. When you are a civil servant, you must do things for your acquaintances, which is more convenient. When you sell something, be sure to give your friend a cheaper price. And when you give this person one more spoon, that person will have one less spoon.When you give me convenience, it is more inconvenient for others.When you count me cheap, others will pay more than me. May I ask, is this fair or unfair? If there is injustice, there will be a cry!Ming is restless!Does it benefit society more, or does it harm more? Is it honorable or embarrassing? Finally, let me tell two stories: Twenty years ago, when my wife was the head of the training team at Zhongshan Girls' High School, an old friend heard about it and was immediately excited. He said, "That's great! Then my daughter can enter Zhongshan Girls' High School." Fifty years ago, in Shanghai.A famous Peking Opera actor took the stage, and the theater was full of empty seats.Suddenly a "character" came in. The actor saw it from afar on the stage, and stopped to say hello. I often think about these two years.I thought to myself, does that friend think that because of his relationship, he can not take the entrance exam?Or can it be tampered with in the exam?He really insulted the entrance exam by saying that.I also thought, can that "famous actor" really be called a famous actor?How can a dedicated actor stop to say hello in the middle of a performance regardless of the entire audience? I think more, if I were that "character", would I feel this is an honor, or an embarrassment? I dream that one day we will be able to care for everyone fairly, sincerely, and with a reasonable and legal attitude, instead of just being good to our own people. I dream that one day we will no longer "love for life, and evil for death" but will be able to look at everything calmly. I dream that one day, Confucius' "rationalized" doctrine of the mean can truly be implemented in our lives. ---------------------------------------- Have you ever watched the ceremony of City God going on tour? that was wonderful The City God, who is in charge of the underworld, advances majesticly in front, followed by a group of little devils with green faces and teeth covered, and "wicked people who have been cast down to the eighteenth floor of hell" wearing shackles and handcuffs on their backs. look!I finally did it! I often hear people say "too much pressure, I can't stand it." Or "I just can't stand the pressure." Did you know that each of us has been under pressure since we were born, and this pressure cannot be escaped until death. If we fill a glass of water, cover the rim with a piece of paper and turn the glass upside down.You will find that the piece of paper and the water in the cup can not be poured down. This is because of atmospheric pressure. If you cut a hollow iron ball in half, put it together again, and take out the air in it.You will find that the two halves of the iron ball are sucked together so tightly that even if you use sixteen horses, you may not be able to pull them apart. This famous "Magdeburg Hemisphere Experiment" proved the pressure of the atmosphere.Who would have thought that the air we live on extends from the ground for 60 to 300 kilometers, and it also puts its weight heavily on us. However, don't we live very easily? That's because our bodies generate relative pressure.The two pressures are offset, and there is no feeling. man under high pressure I remember a politician who recalled that when he was a political prisoner in prison, he often hatched bean sprouts by himself.A lot of beans, soaked in the cup, unexpectedly the more the beans are pressed down, the fatter they grow. I myself have experience-- Every autumn, I will dig a hole in the ground with a depth of six inches, put the tulip flower balls at the bottom of the hole, and then cover it with thick soil. Every time I cover it, I think: "Why are these delicate tulips planted so deep? How can they have the ability to break through such thick mud?" It's just that, year after year, they stick out their leaves in time, pull out their buds, and bloom beautiful flowers. Who, if not someone who had grown tulips, would have guessed that they grow from a depth of six inches? Everyone only sees brilliant flowers, who would think of its difficult past? man who flinches under high pressure Of course, I also occasionally found that some died because of lack of strength and failed to get out of the mud.Seeing their finally shrinking bulbs, I have many emotions: Aren't they like people?Some people are talented, capable, and even physically fit.But because he couldn't bear the pressure, he flinched in the battlefield of life. He is likely to be a politician who participated in the election. He really couldn't stand the mental pressure and quit the election midway. He is likely to be a national player who has spent more than ten years preparing to participate in the world sports competition, but because he cannot bear the attention of most people.I am afraid that after failure, it will be difficult to face my compatriots all over the country, and I will fail on the spot and lose the battle. He may also be a good student who cares about the entrance exam every day.When those who were not as good as his in homework were ready to give it a try, he announced: "I hate exams. In order to protest this exam, I will be a boy who refuses the entrance exam." He may indeed be a maverick, challenging a system he considers less than ideal.However, can we also think like this: He chose not to fight because he was too afraid of failure and couldn't stand the pressure.