Chapter 20 16

February 17, 1966 Satoshi: It is not easy to sit idle and do nothing, at least not do business.Even though I force myself to recuperate with peace of mind and wait patiently, I can't bear it anymore and can't settle down.If I don't say anything, I always feel in a trance mentally, and I feel empty in my heart, as if I am sorry for myself and everything for wasting a day.The natural temper is so hard to change, what can I do!From January 16th to 27th, my eyesight suddenly dropped, almost every second. Fortunately, it suddenly rose again, and it returned to the situation of the previous few months. It is still stable for the time being, and I can read books and newspapers for about 20 minutes each time. .In the past two days, due to severe diarrhea (watery diarrhea close to food poisoning), the dizziness has become severe again, which is probably a temporary phenomenon. ??

You are often under the attack of severe cold this winter, we are really worried about the health of your family, young children, can they withstand such severe cold?Mira is prone to colds, has she had the "flu" several times?The top ten daily newspapers said that the disease was widespread in the UK.In addition, your electricity and gas supply is insufficient, so you must be very embarrassed? After January 15th, I'm afraid you didn't make it to the Nordic performances? Wasn't S.Andrews [St. Andrew]'s recital performed by Lilli Klauss [Lily? Claus]?I hope you are in good health, and the reduction of those few concerts will not affect your income too much!

Is it a foregone conclusion whether to go to Japan in September?How many days and how many sessions?If you pass through Hong Kong, you must notify us early, and we will wait at home for the call! Is the show in France after March 15 confirmed?We look forward to the details! Monsieuz Etiemble [Mr. Etienne Bole] of the University of Paris must send a ticket!He has been so kind to me, and has spent so much time searching for books for me over the years. ?? The world situation is like this, and the American war of aggression against Vietnam is so brutal, I can't express how much emotion and resentment I have in my heart.Whether you can go to Japan in autumn or not depends on the general trend, doesn't it?

How is Liz's Shuo Nada doing?Hope to talk more about your current life and your artistic progress, so as to relieve the depression in my illness! April 13, 1966 Dear child, it is rare for you not to answer letters for more than a hundred days during your long-term tour.I don't know how the performances of various concerts this year are?Has Liz's Shuo Nada practiced well?Are you satisfied with the effect of your command on March 18?Did you go to the United States to collaborate with Tung at the end of January?Even if you are too busy to calm down, just reporting specific things will not be too much effort, right?What we have been arguing with you over the past few years is mainly the issue of letters. We are not demanding. It is enough to hear from you every two months.I always feel that the days are numbered, not to mention getting together, it is the pleasure of communicating with you, especially the joy of reading your letters, I don't know how long I can enjoy it.Twelve albums have been received for nearly a month, but I still dare not listen to them.The stylus of the old record player is thick and the cartridge is heavy, but the lines recorded on the recent film are very fine, and I am afraid that it will break immediately after singing.Your turntable company STUDIO99 [Ninety-nine Studio] wrote a letter the day before yesterday, saying that because the manufacturer has not delivered any new products this year, it has been delayed until now.Will the goods arrive in the near future, and it will be sent to Yunyun at that time. It will take about two or three months to arrive in Shanghai. When the assembly is complete, it must be in the hot summer.At present, I can only enjoy the titles of the new films sent one by one, read the descriptions, and yearn for a while, and I have the right to fill my hunger with pictures.Is the impression of Paris slightly better this time, and what is the reaction of the masses? Mr. Etiemble wrote a letter a week ago, saying that it is a pity that he was unable to attend due to illness. During the spring break, he will go to the south to recuperate. Come on, mom can still pay you back after typing.

I am very familiar with salle Gaveau. Is the interior decoration still antique, with white and gold painted walls everywhere, in the style of the 18th century?Is the piano used Gaveau brand?Have you come into contact with the three French brands Erard-Gaveau-pleyel [Erard-Gaveau-Pleyel]?What's your impression? I haven’t read any music magazines for more than two years, and I’m even less familiar with foreign music trends. If there are any journals worth subscribing to, please pay attention to them, regardless of whether they are in English or French. Music&Musicians["Music and Musicians"] is indeed not exciting enough, but I feel depressed when there is no wind blowing!

The cataracts in both eyes are still the same. It is said that the general progress is very slow, and sometimes it stops at a certain stage, and some progress is so slow that it cannot be noticed: I hope I can be so lucky.Otherwise, after a few years, when the cataract sclerosis occurs, surgery will be performed, but the visual acuity after surgery must not be compared with before. No matter how far or near you look, it must be limited to a strict and extremely small range.In addition, since January, chronic conjunctivitis has developed concurrently. The doctor said that the frequent fainting is caused by the secretion of conjunctivitis contaminating the lens.The disease is very severe, and it has been dragged on for several years.Everyone advised me to cultivate my body and mind, but my mind can never be blank, if it is not blank, my nerves will not be quiet, and my body will not get better!When I am free, I have random thoughts about the past and the present, and even stay outside the earth: not Dostoevsky's Hoon's random thoughts, but many fantasies based on some historical knowledge in the boundless time and space, many emotion.All in all, it is a common problem of intellectuals to aim too high. In modern terms, it means committing objectivism and not having a class viewpoint... In fact, this kind of fantasy is also mixed with a lot of human primitive depression, feelings and feelings about life, old age, sickness, death, and the purpose of life, etc. Suspect.Our elders who grew up from the May 4th Movement were more or less skeptics, just like people in the Renaissance and before the French Revolution in the 18th century, but skepticism is the ideological enemy of today’s society, no wonder I can’t change it no matter what How many.Assuming that Chinese scholars have been inclined to lament about life and death since ancient times, then they have been poisoned by the native doctor and landlord class (because they get something for nothing, they have the leisure for such fantasies).After all, I know all about my faults, but I will never get rid of them. Is it really the so-called "thoroughly reviewing and resolutely not changing"?I don't think so.The main reason is that our sense of time, or time sense [time sense] and space sense [space sense] are stronger than others. If life is just a fleeting moment, it is indeed a very real feeling to us, so we regard life as extremely small. Seeing the decades of consciousness as a flash is insignificant, and all unreal fantasies come from it, don't you think?Knowing that the idea of ​​floating life is against the times, but the older I get, the more I have this idea unexpectedly.Of course, I never reveal such remarks in front of others, and I never mentioned them before Amin Xiaorong. First, young people have their own ambition and enthusiasm, and I should not attack them or discourage them; Ideas must not affect the next generation.Because you are abroad, and you have many similarities with me in temperament, so I will talk about it casually.If you don't have this kind of ideological root, I'm afraid you won't have such a deep feeling for some of Schubert's late works.

For more than a month, my mother often dreamed of you, sometimes conducting, sometimes playing Concerto [Concerto]. I also dreamed that Mira and Ling Xiao were in our house.She loves and feels sad every time she wakes up.Last night, she said that now she feels that sleeping is a joy, allowing herself to become two people and live two lives: Every night before going to sleep, there is a hope - not only to be reunited with the same flesh and blood, but also to be with relatives and friends who have been separated for ten or twenty years meet.I often dream of you too, and the music on your piano is very clear in my dreams.

I can see from the photo that you have a Chinese framed landscape painting, is it an authentic work or a replica?Is it modern or ancient? There are only two sunny days in this month, and the rest is either cloudy or rainy. Spring in the south of the Yangtze River is hard to come by. The flower buds are still as big as peanuts after three weeks.He didn't take off his silk padded jacket either. June 3, 1966 Cong, on May 17th the airline notified that the turntable arrived in Shanghai.When I went to the interview, the customs said that the system stipulates that private individuals cannot send their goods back to China by "air cargo" from abroad.My mother asked for an accommodation, and the customs officers asked their superiors for instructions. After a week, they replied: "It must be handled according to the regulations, and the things can only be returned."The above situation is explained to the sender STUDIO99 [Ninety-nine Studio].If you can use "ordinary mail" to send, you might as well give it a try.

If the London Post Office refuses to accept the turntable because it weighs more than the package limit, or for other reasons, it has no choice but to give up. For example, if you were born in an era before the invention of the record a hundred years ago, wouldn't you also be unable to hear your performance?If the turntable cannot be sent, or if it is still returned in Shanghai next time, there is no need to send the record again.Your father-in-law originally said that he would send a copy of his 50th birthday commemorative record after it was published, please tell him to hold off for a few months until the turntable is settled.I misremembered that your father-in-law's birthday was 1917, so the congratulatory telegram was sent five days late; he didn't mention it in his letter (only said he received a gift), so I wonder if he received the telegram?My eye disease has not improved, and chronic conjunctivitis cannot be cured.The kidneys sag by more than three inches, and my waist is often flattened. I can't sit for a long time, and I have to resign myself to fate.

The Cultural Revolution was raging vigorously in China, and anti-Party cliques have been heard of in Britain.We were also thrilled at home. We never imagined that seventeen years after the founding of the People's Republic of China, there would still be elements from the remnant bourgeoisie who had sneaked into the party and dared to attack the party so rampantly.Perhaps people like us from the old society are too numb to class struggle. The more you write, the more dizzy your eyes will be. Let's talk about it next time.Take care of everything!Say hello to Mira!Mom is making a sweater for Ling Xiao!

I received both the letter and the photo of the child at the end of May.I understand all your feelings.It is a common thing that work is not going well, and it is the exception, and they are all the same.I'm physically and mentally exhausted, and the pain of work (in the past) is much worse than yours. My mother was sick for a month in early May. It was herpes zoster caused by a virus [virus]. It was very uncomfortable on the left chest and left back.Healed now.