Chapter 12 Momentary Blank (1) - The blue of the sky is the disease

At the age of 26, Ni Chen still lived a peaceful campus life. He is a graduate student in physics at Fudan University, and plans to pursue a Ph.D. degree after finishing his studies.After finishing the Ph.D., go abroad to continue studying.Read on like this.Ni Chen thinks he is a person with a plan, and he doesn't like overly complicated assumptions about the future.He likes a simple life.Drink plain water, wear cotton shirts, squeeze the bus to go to school, and never have a regular girlfriend.When I have free time, I go to a movie alone. Sometimes when Ni Chen went to the library, he watched the wind blow the petals of the big cherry tree outside the window, and they fell on the pages of his opened book, and the sunlight shone on the pink and white petals.He picked it up with his fingers and watched the fragrant juice permeate along the texture of the skin.

It is such a warm and quiet spring sunshine, pouring down like water through the green leaves. Many times, Ni Chen is a person who doesn't like talking and activities.It's like he has never been to any place other than his grandmother's house in Qingpu.Ni Chen thought, what is happiness?Perhaps thinking about this question, it is no longer happy. Therefore, most of the time, Ni Chen did not consider this issue. In the spring of 2000, the most important thing for Ni Chen was that he bought a computer and could surf the Internet at home.In addition to looking for academic information, sometimes he will go to some remote underground websites to read poetry.

Those who write poetry, some may be on the other side of the world, some have passed by on the bus.Ni Chen is not clear about the relationship between poetry and physics.But he knows those are two important parts of life. Another important thing is getting to know Jin Qing. Who can imagine that they will meet someone at a certain time on a certain occasion. If it was not an accident, Ni Chen thought he would not have appeared at the barbecue party in that strange villa area.The friend works in this company, the villa belongs to the friend's boss, and Jin Qing is an employee of the company.

The relationship seems complicated, but when they met, Jin Qing was just a sudden shadow.It seemed to have been hidden in the dark for a long time, and the light was a bit dazzling when it appeared.dizzying. She took a puppy in a remote forest near the villa area, sitting alone under the bushes of Chinese roses, with her sandals kicked aside messily, smoking a cigarette.The white Pomeranian was running around on the grass.She occasionally called it lazily, and the cigarette on her finger had already dropped a long piece of ash, which would be scattered by the wind. In the villa not far from here, a group of people related or unrelated to them were making noise, faintly, there was laughter in the wind.Ni Chen looked at her.He has been walking in the sun for a long time, and his face has been burned hot.

The sky is very bright.Blue like a disease.The indigo of pain that cannot be healed. After a long time, every time Ni Chen thinks back to the first encounter with Jin Qing, the first thing that controls his mind is such a dazzlingly bright dark blue sky.At that moment, in a slight hypnotic dizziness, Ni Chen felt a smile appear on his face.He looked at her with a smile. They turned back together.The girl was walking beside Ni Chen, holding a puppy in her hand and a cigarette in the other hand, looking up at the cloud.The sunlight falling from the branches floated on her face, and the girl narrowed her eyes.

Ni Chen laughed again.A faint smile appeared on his lips.The girl said, what are you laughing at, do you often feel happy? yes.Although I'm not quite sure what exactly it is. In front of the garage of the villa, the girl opened the door, knelt down and put the puppy in.The other puppies inside came around, barking softly at her and jumping. She stretched out her fingers to let them lick and suck, watching them enjoy it for a long time, then she withdrew her hand and closed the door. Ni Chen leaned on the door frame to watch her.The girl's long hair is very soft, falling down from both sides of her face slightly messy. She stood up and stroked her fingers. Her cigarette was still caught in her fingers, and a large amount of ash had already fallen down. She pursed her lips and blew it away. took it.

You could tell they were lonely and had severe skin hunger. Yeah? Yes, like my fingers. she laughs.In the cool shade of a porch, a young face.A sweet and dark entangled smile, like wild flowers blooming from the mud deep in the forest, pure white, as if about to wither.She was wearing a vintage-style blouse of white fine linen, the neckline and cuffs were embroidered with fine florals with silk threads.A little dirty coarse trousers, still barefoot. My name is Jin Qing.she whispered.You are fine, the corners of your lips used to look fragile, but beautiful.She looked at his lips with an expression of pity.Such a direct compliment to a strange man.Although Ni Chen was surprised, he still looked at her lightly.Watch her turn and walk towards the din of the room.

The party didn't end until midnight.The company has a unified vehicle to send a large group of people from the suburbs back to the city. They were sandwiched between the drunken crowd, and Ni Chen saw that she was sitting in the front and fell asleep with her head resting on the seat.They didn't speak again until Ni Chen was about to get off the car. Do you have an E-mail?I can write to you.She straightened up suddenly and looked at him, her eyes shining brightly, staring at him in the night. I have got.Ni Chen took out a pen and wrote down the E-mail address on the note, then handed it to her.You should always wear shoes so you don't get cold easily.He got out of the car and saw her pressing her face against the glass to look at him.The squeezed face carried a kind of twisted sadness.Ni Chen paused there, hesitated for a moment, and then the car suddenly started quickly.

Her face flashed by. The first E-mail was received by Ni Chen 7 days later. During the 7 days, Ni Chen received and sent letters as usual every day. He felt that he was calm and did not have any expectations.It's just that when I go to the library to read alone, I still feel dizzy when I look up at the sky.Ni Chen suspected that he had been reading poems online for too long. He thought, he should buy a printer and print out those poems to read later. That day, he took a shower and surfed the Internet after 12 o'clock in the middle of the night, and suddenly saw a strange name in his inbox, JQ.He opened the letter.

Ni Chen, it's raining today and the sky is gray.I'm in the car.Seeing the way raindrops slide down the glass, it turns out that there is a track to follow.They are short, jerky, broken, slow, like a grumpy man hesitating, full of oppression.I watched them until the next stop.Probably an hour or so. When I got out of the car, I found that my eyes were blind. most of the time.Like the afternoon sun.and the deep blue of the sky.Your silence makes me feel bad.Why are we all speechless... Ni Chen turned off the desk lamp, and then looked at the letter in the dark.The screen is harsh.The few letters, like her face behind the glass window.