Chapter 10 August is young (9)

I didn't go north.I decided to spend the winter in the south because I want the baby to be born safely, because I'm starting to be alone again.Joe left me in her way. I miss when we first met, putting our heads together and hiding behind a book to read our palms.Her hair is black and fragrant, her eyes are blue, and she has a love of faith.There are so many scents that I love.people i love. Asagao wrote to me.He said, I am fine in Tokyo, except that when I can't sleep at night, I can hear the sound of wind and clouds whistling.And Joe's tears.If it weren't for you, Wei Young, maybe I would have already married Qiao and lived a normal life in Shanghai.Many times I asked myself why this happened, but if I had to choose again, I would still want this ending.How are you, Wei Young?And how is Joe?

I did not write back to him.My stomach is getting bigger and bigger every day.I am a fearless person in life, because I don't know what to fear losing, or what to desperately want.If there ever was one, I guess it was love, but now I feel safe. I don't want to forget them at all.I think of my mother, walking up and down the floor in high heels, revealing all her loneliness and despair to me like a friend.And Jo, her joy, her joy without any foreboding or fortification, once filled me with hope, and only with her could I be at peace.Then came Asagao, my only man, the man with a gentle smile, who gave me a child.

I want to watch them every day so my kids can be like them.But I only have small photos of Qiao and Chao Yan, which are glued to the phone, yellow and fuzzy, and gradually peeling off.I gazed at it for a long time, at the faces battered and destroyed by pain and happiness. Then one day, that little photo disappeared.Joe's and Asakao's faces lost their specific outlines.Only memory remains. The winter in Shanghai was very cold this year. When I go to bed at night, I feel a terrified fear.The people I love left one by one and left me one by one.I seized a life the way my mother did.But I think, at least I won't regret it.I closed my eyes in the dark and felt a pair of warm hands gently covering my eyes.I heard myself whisper a name.

A week before I went into labor, I called Asagao. Chaoyan's voice on the phone was still gentle and clear.He was surprised, he called me Wei Young. I said, Asagao, I think I can confess a few things to you.Let me talk about three things first. 1. I killed my mother when I was a child. 2. I am determined to separate you from Joe. 3. Joe committed suicide in the airport bathroom and is dead.If you'd like to continue talking to me, I'll go over the next few things. There was silence on the other end of the phone, only Chaoyan's breathing was heard.There was that song on my record player, Tanya, she sang, his appearance changed, he smelled like a new partner, at that moment, you finally found that the person you loved so much, as early as the day of farewell, was gone Disappear in this world.This is Joe's favorite song after Zhaoyan left. I finally know how much she loves him, but she doesn't say anything, she doesn't do anything.She is a ball of petals that I rub in the palm of my hand, and the juice seeps into my soul.When she dies in an airport filled with strangers, she finally takes off her shoes.She is barefoot.

I hold the microphone and smile.I listened to the silence on the other end.Then I heard a soft click.Asagao hung up the phone.