Chapter 6 August is young (5)

I go home in the early hours of the morning.Chao Yan slept like a child and I didn't kiss him.When I walked to the street, I found that the wind was strong and the leaves were swirling all over the ground.The sky was blown so clear that large groups of white clouds swiftly passed over this lonely city.I ducked into a corner, lit myself a cigarette, and walked down the empty avenue. The cold raindrops, big and big, hit my face intermittently. At the public phone booth, I called Joe on the cell phone.She was sleeping and her voice was muffled.I said, Joe, are you going to get married in October? October is indeed a fine weather.

Don't discuss this issue with me on a typhoon night.Joe's lazy voice. Men do not love women.They just need women.For example, he is sick and you have to see him tomorrow morning. He called you? yes.Because he can't find you.I exhale the smoke softly. I will take you to Beijing in September.Let's go north.Joe.Mark my words. I hung up the phone. I was sure someone would come to see me the next afternoon.It was Chao Yan who called, his voice was tired.Joe saw the bracelet on my bed.I dare not tell her that this is your thing. It's really not my thing.I say.I never wear jewelry, she knows.

She is leaving me. There's nothing I can do, Asagao. Do you love me?He said. This is a question I don't want to answer, sorry. I want to marry you as my wife.I am silent.He sighed deeply, and then he said, I know your loneliness.A disconnected busy tone rang through the phone.Disappear. Joe came to see me at night.She didn't say anything, just curled up on the bed.She trembled slightly in the dark, and I walked over and put my hands on her hair.I said, Joe, is parting so painful?If we are always parting, such as with loved ones, with hurt, or even with time... How is everything different?

With his back to me, Joe said coldly, I hate cheating. When I was 12 years old, I prayed that God would let me grow up quickly so that I could control my mother, a woman with blue eyes and a sad smile.I love her.But she is crazy.She would have flare-ups every day, smashing her high heels all over the place, and I would often have scars on my head and face.I want to study, I want to fall in love, I want someone to kiss and touch me, I want to go to university, have a job and have my own home, I want to go far away to see the sea... I hear the silent pleading that pushes my heart to the ground broken.Alone in the dark, I held the petals in my palm, rubbed them dry and crushed them, my hands were full of juice...

Mother died a week later.She was walking in her high heels and just reached the landing when the heel broke off.Screaming, she reached out her hands to catch something that would stop the slide, but there was nothing.The moment she fell down the stairs, her head hit the wall.Her blood was sprayed on the wall, and in the following five years, the mottled wall was exuding a thick fishy smell every day.I wiped it with a damp cloth every night, in tears, until I finally turned 17.I grew up. I left that small southern city and came to Shanghai. After 17 I have no more tears.