Chapter 21 Abiding by killing (30 weeks)

I came back from the urban area in the afternoon, and I was catching up with the commuting rush hour. First, the subway was extremely crowded, and there was no safe handrail. Secondly, the people sitting in the seats closed their eyes and dozed off very experienced, even if they were sitting in the maternity and child care center. A mature man on the seat. I don't covet the seat, but I worry about the baby in my belly.The crowd was so turbulent, I was afraid that people would touch my stomach when they rushed to the door between getting on and off the bus.So I pitifully circled the railing tightly with one hand, and wrapped it around my chest, holding my stomach firmly with the other hand.

The baby is very happy inside, and I can even think of him sucking his fingers and sleeping with his eyes closed.I hope that the noise around me will be quieter, so as not to disturb the baby's dream. After leaving the platform, follow the flow of people to the check-in area, leaning as far as possible, leaning on the handrail, feeling an inexplicable panic when going down the stairs, fearing that something might happen later, everyone ran wildly in a swarm, and then piled up like dominoes I fell down, and then my big belly fell to the ground with a clang. Thinking of this, I broke out in a cold sweat, and made up my mind that my belly was getting bigger and bigger, so I should go out less in the future.

Many of my needless worries and weaknesses came after I had a son.Even when I went to the vegetable market, I didn't dare to see live animals waiting to be slaughtered.Today, I happened to see Aping's article Killing a Life, and my heart twitched. Think about the cold-blooded life in China.Everything you buy in the vegetable market must be live and fresh. When the fish came home, their mouths were still opening and closing. While they were twisting their bodies, they cut their stomachs open with a pair of scissors. As soon as the water was drained, they were about to be put into the oil pan. trembling, struggling to get out.

Now that you have gone abroad, you can see that the fish in the market are already lying peacefully on the ice, which makes you unable to breathe.So you can take it home with confidence. My heart began to soften more and more.If I put a live clucking chicken in front of me, I might buy it and keep it.It's like I have a Mi baby.She gave me more happiness than I gave. When I was young, my mother forbade the children to eat fish roe, saying that the amount of chicken, fish, meat and eggs a person can eat in a lifetime is limited, and one fish roe represents a small fish, and one bite at a time eats the ten-year quota.The more you don't allow it, the more you want to eat it. I think caviar is the most delicious thing.

To be a mother, in retrospect, I feel very cruel.A female fish trying to protect her child, with a clumsy body and a big belly, couldn't swim. Seeing the net falling in front of her eyes, she couldn't escape. When she fell into the cabin and fell hard, she tried to cover it with her short fins. belly. If fish could talk, they would say, eat me and leave my children.