Chapter 10 second quarter

At this time, the plane still hadn't completely escaped from the lightning zone, and there were still occasional flashes of lightning nearby.With this fleeting light, the three of us saw through the porthole that the corpse was wearing a thick red down jacket, and the collar at the neck was hung on the trailing edge flap on the right side of the plane, so the whole body was Hanging behind and below the wing, it dangles like a sunny baby in a storm. "How did you drive the corpse to the wings?" I asked Liu Digou meaningfully.He immediately jumped up from his seat, very emotional, as if he had been greatly insulted.

"Impossible! I counted the heads before boarding the plane, and I will never lose them! Besides, the clothes are not right. All the corpses I drove were wearing blue jackets and black trousers, which are standard! None of them wore red down jackets!" He was afraid that I would question them. He is professional, straightened up angrily, looked at the entire cabin, and began to count one by one, and glared at the little stewardess while counting: "If the number is wrong, then there must be something wrong with your flight attendant." The little stewardess With a displeased expression on his face, he muttered in a low voice:

"It's impossible to go wrong. We charge per person for this kind of flight. A few of them charge tens of thousands less. Who can't live with money?" "You still charge per person?" I asked. "Yes, for this special flight, only heads are counted when ordering goods, so whether you transport the whole body or only one head, the price is the same, no discount." The little stewardess was afraid that I would not understand, holding herself in both hands. Chin, lifted up.I leaned back in fright, and the little stewardess let go of her hand and giggled. In order to avoid embarrassment, I put my face against the porthole and looked out for a while. Suddenly I saw a detail, and I hurriedly turned around and told Liu Digou not to count.Liu Digou asked me why, and I pointed to the corpse and said, "Look again, it's not us Chinese, it's black." Liu Digou and the little stewardess went over together, and their heads slammed together.Liu Digou had a big head and a hard skull. The little stewardess was hurt by him, teary, and bit her lip and stepped aside.Another thunder flashed, and now even Liu Digou could see it clearly.This black brother is probably "dead with his mouth open". When he was hanging on the flap, his mouth was open and he was frozen from the blowing.A pair of big white teeth are particularly obvious, forming a sharp three-color contrast with the dark complexion and red down jacket.

Liu Digou drooped his shoulders and breathed a sigh of relief: "It doesn't matter whether he is a white man, a red man or a black man, as long as the corpse is not under my control, it is not our responsibility." I frowned and said, "No one can! My buddy must weigh at least one hundred and eighty catties, just hanging on the plane like this will disturb the balance and affect the flight." Liu Gugou turned his gaze back from the porthole, and clapped two fat palms: "Old horse, don't waste time Now, it’s impossible for us to climb out of the plane to pick him up at an altitude of several thousand meters, right? The Chinese should be dealt with first, and then the niggers.” “Pay attention to your wording, it’s black brothers.” I seriously corrected he.Liu Digou corrected himself and said, "Okay, let's take a step back, brother nigger. Let him hang around for a while, let's appease the more than two hundred brothers in the front first." What he said also made sense, compared to the one outside The black brothers hanging on the wings are indeed more troublesome than the more than 200 dead people in the cabin who are about to cheat their bodies.I took a deep breath and asked, "How?"

Liu Digou pouted his ass and dragged out a ceramic pot from under the seat, which was a large pot of cinnabar.He stirred it with the steel fork in his hand, then raised his head and gestured to the little stewardess.The little stewardess took out a bottle of perfume from her pocket, and with a look of reluctance, she sprayed me a few times like using wolf spray to deal with hooligans.I sniff my nose and realize it's what I smelled on both of them when they boarded the plane. "It's called the Garden after the Rain, and it's called Jardin Humide in French. It has the effect of warding off evil spirits and suppressing Yin. When driving corpses, you have to put some of this on your body." Liu Chugou explained, "Otherwise, your body is too angry, They will become restless if they stay next to the corpse for a long time." "This perfume is very expensive, it's made in France. If it wasn't paid by the state, I wouldn't be able to afford it." The little stewardess said proudly.

"Didn't you co-authors use the secret recipe handed down from your ancestors?" "We can't rest on our laurels, we must make reasonable use of foreign advanced technology. We tried hundreds of perfumes from more than a dozen countries, and found that this perfume has the best effect on warding off evil spirits." "Did you ask for patent fees?" "I also mixed some Artemisia wormwood and calamus essence, so they are considered semi-domestic products.” While talking, Liu Goudou put his finger into the cinnabar pot, stirred it, and then asked me to unbutton my shirt.I asked him why, and he pointed to his chest: "Draw a life-saving thing for you." I glanced at the little stewardess, and the little stewardess curled her lips, turned her face away with disdain, admiring the rows of corpses next to her The appearance of - this makes my self-esteem somewhat damaged.

Liu Didu was babbling about the incantation while dipping his finger in writing on my chest.He drew a few strokes, saying that the national emblem was too complicated to draw in time, let me make you a yin and yang fish, which also has the effect of protection.I looked down and saw a circle on my chest that looked like a child's doodle, with a crooked dark red line in the middle.He stood a few steps away and tilted his head to look at it, clicked his tongue, stretched out his finger and corrected a few more strokes, and then went back to look at it, but still felt bad, and Xihang wanted to change it, my chest was already messed up and red.Liu Digou looked apologetic: "I didn't perform well in this class, and the drawing of Yin-Yang Fish doesn't quite look like it. Let me change a Volkswagen logo for you." "Hey! Don't talk nonsense!" It’s not nonsense. The Volkswagen logo has a top V and a bottom W. When added together, it is the word mighty. The government servants in the ancient courts shouted that one should be the villain, and the other should be the shadowy ghost. " He finally finished the drawing for me, grabbed a handful of cinnabar in the jar, and handed it to me: "This plane has a three-class cabin configuration, the first-class cabin has 5 seats in each row, and the business class has 6 seats in each row. , there are 7 seats in each row of the economy class, and there are two aisles on the left and right. You will be on the right and I will be on the left. Walk forward slowly one by one. When you see a corpse standing up, go to his seat. Get some cinnabar with your right hand to touch it, and press its waist with your left hand. It will sit down again. You check the charm in the helmet and the tie rope on the seat belt."

"Then what if it doesn't sit down?" "That means it has stood upright, so you kick the socket of its knees from behind - have you seen some urban management law enforcement?" Learned very hideously.I sighed secretly in my heart, thinking that I, a dignified businessman, should be reduced to the point of studying urban management, and brutally enforce the law against the dead, it is really outrageous.Liu Gugou saw that I understood, and gave a thumbs up: "Pay attention to my gestures, thumb up means everything is OK, index finger means there is a problem, ring finger means help is needed, and little finger means emergency rescue." "What about the middle finger?" "It means fuck you, you will understand when you will use it in any occasion." After explaining, Liu Didu pointed at the little stewardess: "You, go and turn down the air conditioner, and then watch at the door of the toilet. Don't let the three inside jump out; and prepare two glasses of ice water and some cinnamon mortar for later use." I secretly asked him: "Why didn't she act with us?" It's been too long." Liu said loudly, then leaned his head closer and whispered to me, "That little girl is clumsy and timid, let her watch from the toilet door, in case we are stuck in front, she I can take care of it. Besides, the three corpses in the toilet don’t have enough magic tools to suppress them, so they’re temporarily locked inside, and someone has to watch them.” The little stewardess didn’t know if she heard what she said, but Liu dug it in vain. At a glance, go to the rear cabin to adjust the air conditioner.Apart from being taken aback, this girl is actually quite courageous.Thinking about it carefully, it is definitely not an ordinary role for her to manage this kind of chartered flight by herself.

The two of us stood at the door of the corridor with cinnabar in each hand.Under the flickering lights, there were a few more corpses standing up in front of them than before, and there were two more corpses sitting down, indicating that the situation was deteriorating. We looked at each other, and Liu Gogou said, "Let's get ready to do it!" I hummed, and was about to step forward, when he suddenly stretched out his hand and patted my neck with a "slap".I was taken aback, and asked him what he was doing, Liu Gugou said that this was a ceremony performed by the mortician before expelling the corpse, called the palm of the soul.Before expelling the corpse, the exorcist will slap the back of the neck. The neck of the living is soft, but the neck of the dead is hard. If many people are not completely dead, they can breathe with such a slap.After listening to it, I was not polite and gave him a slap.

After the ceremony was over, Liu Qugou spat a mouthful of thick phlegm on the carpet of the plane, shook his wrist, and took a step forward. His whole body immediately became stagnant and stagnant, even his figure grew a bit taller.I followed his example and took a step forward, and found that my calf was trembling a little, and then I realized that I was actually terribly afraid. "Old Ma, are you scared?" Liu Digou asked with a sideways glance. "Hmm... I didn't think I was afraid at first, but when things come to an end, hehe." I told the truth.Liu Gugou smiled heartily and said: "Actually, the dead are nothing to be afraid of. They are just a pile of carbohydrates that no longer exchange energy. Zombies, corpses, and zongzi are all unfounded feudal superstitions. Let's drive corpses away." never believed."

Looking at the forest of corpses in front of me, I felt my stomach twitch slightly, and I forced a smile: "From what you say, there shouldn't be any risk, right?" Big news, you don’t have to worry.” “Then what if they don’t settle down?” “Then they will attack the nearest living person, and they will kill the nearest living person, very happy, so you don’t have to worry.” Liu Digou saw that my face was anxious Pale, laughed loudly and said: "I'm joking." I asked: "Be clear, which part is a joke? Is it an attack on a living person, or is it a one-bite death?" Liu Qugou replied: "Yes, it's very happy, you are more Don't worry about that part." "...Are you trying to comfort me!" "Stop talking nonsense! If you want to survive, hurry up!" Liu Qudu rushed over.As soon as I gritted my teeth, I thought that I have even entered Babao Mountain, so I am afraid of you little ghosts?With a surge of hot blood, I rushed forward, and soon found myself among countless corpses.These corpses seemed to be asleep, maintaining a stiff posture on their seats, their expressions were gloomy and lifeless, and they were all the more eerie under the flickering lights.According to the prior distribution, I was in charge of the aisle on the right, including seat E on the left side of the aisle and seats F and G on the right; Be an expert.I glanced over and saw a standing corpse in Block F, row 16 closest to me. It looks like a living person from behind, but the back is particularly lifeless, standing upright.I walked over slowly and stood on the edge of the aisle in row 17, trying to reach out and touch its shoulder.Just as my fingers were about to touch it, it suddenly twisted its neck, turning half of its stiff face around. I was so startled that I desperately waved my little finger at Liu Kugou. After waving for a long time, I realized that under this kind of light, not to mention him, even I couldn't see clearly. This set of gestures is simply bluffing.I simply yelled, and Liu Didu's voice came from over there: "Old horse, don't be afraid, it's the muscle contraction common in corpses, not a fake corpse." There was no other action, so I got more courage, recalling the technique Liu Qugou taught me, first use cinnabar to touch the middle of the person, and then press the waist and eyes.Strange to say, with such a press, the corpse immediately sat back, as if some kind of spring had been triggered.I secretly breathed a sigh of relief, straightened his helmet, fastened his seat belt, and only asked what you drank, sir. Chasing corpses is similar to making love. Once you are born and you are familiar with each other, at first you feel trembling and feel that it is a big deal, but after doing a lot, you don't feel nervous anymore.Corpses continued to stand up from their seats.The more I worked, the more proficient I became. When a corpse stood up, I ran over with the chest with the Volkswagen logo painted on it and pushed it back to the seat.In the next ten minutes, I ran back and forth, pressing down a total of eighteen corpses, two of which were already stiff and needed to be kicked with my feet. To be honest, this kind of behavior reminds me of a gopher-themed game in the past... I quickly discovered a trick: just put the small table in front of the corpse down and block it in front of the chest, and it will definitely I can't stand up anymore.After mastering this trick, my workload has been greatly reduced, and the zombies I have pressed will never come back from the ashes.After tossing like this for about half an hour, there were almost no corpses in the area I was in charge of standing up again.I was panting violently, thinking that this fucking thing was just physical labor. I looked up to the left, and found that Liu Gogou was gone. I was shocked, and when I looked back, I found that he had already gone to the tail cabin to rest.I'm a little unhappy, I count it as a voluntary labor, but he is lazy instead of being an honest master, what a joke!I turned my head back to the aft cabin and asked him what was going on.Liu Didu said that his piece ended early, so he came back to drink something first.I looked up and found that there were indeed no corpses in the left area and stood up, and the whole cabin returned to the calmness it had just boarded.The little stewardess handed me a bottle of iced mineral water, drank half of it in one gulp, and then tore off the neckline. His cinnabar was mixed with something, which made my chest itchy. "Is this the end?" I asked. Liu Digou picked up his mineral water bottle with a smile and touched it with me: "Yes, thank you for your hard work." I let out a long breath and slumped on the seat, feeling that all this was incredible. "What are the origins of these corpses?" When I was playing hamsters just now, I noticed that most of the corpses were young men aged 20 to 40, and there were no women or children.Liu Di dug: "I guess this is our construction team in that small country." "You guess?" "Yes. In our profession, we only accept orders and never ask why. How many corpses the company asked us to drive away, Wherever we went, we did it. As for why, we never asked, and no one told us. But the reason is, you can guess, if a family member dies abroad, they want to see the remains before cremation , it must be more humane than ashes. Now the procedures for transporting corpses across the country are troublesome, so the company sends morticians to catch the corpses on the plane and then transport them back. How do foreigners know that the company has such a hand, and they don't know the corpses Whether it is considered a dead person or not, it just happened that our exorcist took advantage of the legal loophole." "Your business is quite busy." "Well, special agencies related to foreign affairs. Our business scope is wide, such as ghost hunting, especially those involving Foreign countries are under our control. Let’s take it back and say, a high-ranking official in Beijing somehow provoked a ghost, entangled him, and said that twelve hours later, at midnight, he would come out on time to take his life. Then Ghosts can't be stopped by anyone, the old monk of Tanzhe Temple - the one who hosted the "Today's Talk" on TV - tried many spells to no avail, and finally found us." "Oh, your magic power Better than others?" "Spells are awesome, but we have a way. When we heard the situation, we bought a plane ticket for that high-ranking official and flew to New York. Wait until the ghost runs away at midnight. When I came out, it happened to be twelve o’clock in the noon in the United States, and this unlucky ghost who didn’t understand the time difference was directly turned into fly ash by the sun.” At this point, Liu Gugou put on an expert face, looked ahead and said lightly: "So, times are advancing, technology is developing, and problems that were unsolvable before can be solved now. That's what we do." Liu Qugou pointed to the symbol on his chest with a solemn expression.Leaning against the toilet door, the little stewardess interjected, "Mr. Liu, that's your job. Don't count me in it? I was temporarily transferred to be a flight attendant, so I'm not the same as you guys." "It's not easy for you to be a flight attendant with more than two hundred corpses alone." I sincerely admired it. "It's not difficult at all. Don't complain, don't make noise, don't want anything, and don't make things difficult for others. Where can you find such a model passenger? As long as you are a little bit more courageous, there is really no difficulty." The little stewardess has a quick nose It's skyrocketing. "What if the corpse is fraudulent? What should you do?" I deliberately teased her. "There is Mr. Liu." "What if your Mr. Liu can't solve it?" "Don't be afraid, I am wearing a golden Buddha, and the light from the Baiyun Temple is auspicious!" The little stewardess proudly took out a Golden Buddha necklace, show us.Liu Didu and I laughed out loud, which made the little girl bewildered.After laughing, I suddenly felt intense tiredness, and I leaned on the seat loosely, wanting to sleep for a while.I tilted my head, and suddenly caught a glimpse of the black brother hanging on the wing. The old question resurfaced: How did he get there?I heard from a captain that there had been similar cases before.Someone sneaked onto the landing gear of the plane, hid in the landing gear compartment, tried to get away with it, and was frozen to death inside.However, no matter where the black brother hides in the hatch, it is impossible to be hung on the trailing edge flap. Judging from the way he was hanging, it was obvious that he had slipped over the wing.The hanging position is the inside flap of the right wing.I looked up at the ceiling with a sense of foreboding in my heart.The only possibility is that this black brother climbed to the top of the plane during take-off, because there was no fixed place on it. As a result, he was accidentally blown off by the airflow during the flight, fell from the fuselage to the wing, and was then caught by the flap. Wing hooked, hanged or froze in there. If you want to sneak in, hiding in the cargo hold is a relatively safe choice.But he chose to climb to the top of the plane, which is obviously not like smuggling, but closer to peeping.That small African country is close to the tropics, and the ground temperature is more than 30 degrees, but this black brother is wearing a down jacket, obviously prepared in advance to take off with the plane. It's self-evident what he wants to spy on... Thinking of this, my face became serious, and I felt that I was involved in some international incident.I hurriedly told Liu Digou about my conjecture, and after listening to it, Liu Digou also suppressed his smile and lowered his head to meditate. Not long after, he suddenly slapped his thigh violently, and the pockmarks all over his face began to shake and twitch, like a TV screen that couldn't receive a signal.I asked him what's the matter, but Liu Didu grabbed my hand: "How many corpses did you press down?" "Eighteen." "Do you remember which row?" After a seat layout map, I marked it with a red pen.The more Liu Didu looked at the picture, the more nervous his expression became. He also picked up a pen and marked a few black dots on it: "Look, this is where I found the dead body standing. How is it different from yours?" I read the forms and reports every day in the company, so I can see the weirdness at a glance: Liu Didu processed all the dead bodies on the left. Eight corpses were evenly distributed, front, middle and rear; while I dealt with a total of 18 corpses, they were concentrated in areas F and G near the starboard porthole in rows 12 to 16, and there were only a few sporadic cases in other places. And the outside of the fuselage in this area is just facing the trailing edge flap and the black brothers hanging on it... I feel a little bad, Liu Qudu said in a deep voice: "Since ancient times, the most taboo thing is to drive corpses." The thing is to bump into corpses. If a corpse walking on the road bumps into a newly dead person, it will produce a collision of evil spirits and a corpse change. Therefore, when we drive corpses, the three places of cemeteries, funerals and hospitals all have to be early Bypassed." "You mean... that black brother who died outside had a suffocating impact on these corpses in the cabin, so the closer to the cabin seat on the right wing, the denser the corpses that turned into corpses? "Yes, at first I thought that those corpses stood up only because the magic weapon was loose, but now it seems...it's all caused by this nigger." Liu Qugou glanced out bitterly, gnashing his teeth. "Cough...it's a black brother." "Brother, ass, he's dead now, isn't he just a nigger!" Liu Po ​​said angrily, "And his mother is a ghost!" Following his finger, I saw Seeing the bright red down jacket, I felt a chill in my heart.Liu Qugou said: "The north belongs to water and its color is black; the south belongs to fire and its color is red. This black man died here wearing a red padded jacket. It is a situation that cannot be tolerated. I am afraid that it is several times more dangerous than ordinary ghosts... ..." His hands were trembling, and he could barely hold the mineral water bottle. It took him a long time to squeeze out a sentence through his teeth: "Clash with its evil spirit, I'm afraid that a corpse king will be knocked out of these corpses." "Then what shall we do?" "Quickly... you give me your passport and tell me when you were born, and I will do the math for you to see if you can survive this calamity based on your horoscope." I started flipping through my passport in a hurry, when the little stewardess let out a shrill cry: "Something...something is coming!" On the right aisle in front of us, a figure was slowly walking towards the back cabin .On either side of it, the trays crackled and crumbled.Wherever it went, corpses stood up one after another, as if seeing the deputy directors of ministerial leaders. Liu Didu and I showed our middle fingers at the same time.