Chapter 5 forget all

In the morning, walk through the garden and go to the coffee shop with a book and notebook.Lift your head and feel the sun's light spot jumping on your eyelids.Smelling the strong aroma of a cup of hot coffee brings order to life. walk.Keep your eyes, eyes and mind focused.Words and deeds are simple.Write a diary by hand with pen and paper. M has recently become obsessed with topics such as Qigong, acupuncture points, and traditional Chinese medicine, and is keen to discuss health care and health preservation with me.I didn't care about the topic but didn't argue with him face to face.The physical body is a skin, and I don't want to spend too much time lovingly maintaining and pleasing it.Sports, make-up, beauty treatment, entertainment, massage, shopping... and so on, they are still trivial and insignificant under a big goal.There are more important things in life, and time is never enough.

For me, eating clean, working on time, and living a life of simplicity and abundance is what I want.Wake up before going to bed and read dozens of pages quietly in bed.Cook food while listening to music.Boil water for tea in the afternoon of heavy rain.Sit down in front of the computer, write and work, for eight hours.Followed by an hour and a half yoga class.Clean up, tidy up.Travel, go to the theater.Visit the bookstore and buy fresh food at the supermarket.Meet up with friends at a coffee shop.Maintain close and sincere relationships with a small number of people.Use writing to connect with more people.That's enough.

It seems that more important things are always happening in the world, such as economy, politics, wars, changes, big times... In the end, it is only some small and individual things that have a real relationship with us: childhood, parents, family, partners and Children, love, sex, giving, taking, joy, frustration, a letter, a memory... Novels that care about the subtleties of human nature show the sense of personal existence.This is the most important thing for the individual. The problem has not been figured out, and we need to continue to think about it.Until you figure it out, forming a strong skeleton can support you for the rest of your life.Even the bone-deep replacement happens only in a kind of silence.Migrate, swim, fill, strengthen in silence.Writing is a long-term, costly self-solution.Clarify the context of the heart, each thing and one thing, each summed up and settled in its position.

Confidence will eventually cross the shore in the form of silence, prayer, repentance, and redemption. In winter, put bergamot and plum blossoms at home.The former is ancient and simple, while the latter is sparse and elegant, pleasing to the eyes and mind, and can be memorable.After the flowers wither, the dry branches can continue to be inserted in black clay pots and placed in the corner of the wall.People and flowers can be in love with each other. Someone brought fresh oranges picked from temples in distant mountains.After traveling all the way by train, the skin is still green and the taste is sweet.Such a small gift can make people feel warm and quiet for several days.

"In the working life facing the earth, there will always be something upright and healthy. Faith makes people serious, and this will be reflected in the production of objects. There is always a moral and religious existence behind good works. Such esoteric knowledge as Germany can be well understood through these items.” Six thousand copies of Liu Zongyue's "Japanese Handicrafts" were printed at the start of the printing process. Presumably, the readers are a minority, perhaps limited to those who study design or folk art.A book written in the 1940s, the views in the book seem to be retrograde and advanced, even if it appears in today's art magazines, it is still sober and unique.

Beauty is health.Health is an ordinary, indifferent state, a state of simplicity and righteousness.There is no higher realm than usual in the world.The Buddha's mind is the ordinary mind, nothing else.Artifacts made in the traditional way are stable. Daily life contains the root of culture, and utensils are the most direct carrier.The force of tradition gives an inherent quality to the culture of a country.The views on utensils ultimately reflect our personalities in living and getting along with each other. He said that recording them is "we must re-understand Japan, and we must pay attention to the state of Japan through specific objects, so that our righteous faith will be awakened."Taking the inspection and restoration of orthodoxy as the foundation of writing a book is really worthy of respect.

Zhang Ailing wrote to Hu: "I don't like you anymore. You don't like me for a long time. This decision, I have been thinking about it for a year and a half...Don't come to me, or write a letter Come on, I don’t want to read it anymore.” This breakup letter is said to have been written on a stormy night.A woman's dignity.She silently dug up the soil and buried the fragments of a container she loved so much that had been broken.No regrets no more nostalgia.So farewell. I have no objection to Hu Lancheng.There is a realm in his words, where the world is neither indifferent nor discerning nor vigilant, where incompleteness and abundance are integrated into one, and there is no distinction between you and me.No complaining or blaming either.I just feel that the spring is just right, and people and things are intact.The full moon is a kind of realm.He is free from the realm of the world, while Zhang Ailing is rooted in the world.This deep and entangled relationship has always been her unforgiveness.

An unforgiving relationship usually means that it has brought satisfaction that cannot be undone. Who else in the world would understand her beauty better than him.He said, to you, readers are nothing more than people coming and going to watch the lantern festival, so vast that they know each other indifferently.Only I want to dance for you.For those who have spoken such words, the present moment is enough.Whether they will be together in the end, whether they will spend the rest of their lives together, whether they are in love with each other, whether they forgive each other before they die... are all irrelevant.

Mountain shadows in the distance, roofs of apartment buildings, clouds, heavy rain.Go alone to the square underground supermarket to buy afternoon cakes.Read a book, sleep.tired.Sleep is a comfort. Remaining silent and pretending not to know is retreat.Back off, back down again and again.Let the pure, clear and clean core slowly fade out. Every time she said goodbye, she said goodbye, turned and left without looking back.Maybe you think it's heartless, but I think it's a form of restraint, she said.I said that now I am more willing to stand still and watch others, because I think this will make the other person feel safe and long-term.

The last process.Search and delete every word and phrase in the typescript that you feel is slightly redundant.There is no reason for this kind of cleanliness, but I know it is to satisfy myself.Delete redundant, empty at any time, remove redundant, keep concise and clear.It's just training me to recognize what's really important to me. In the boundless window frame, by the lake, by the light clouds where the birds disappear, I look at your smiling silhouette, your beauty, fragility, joy, and powerlessness.I know that the life that belongs to you and me is over. All the persistence, greed, and unwillingness lie in the fact that we are not perfect.Waiting for a limited amount of firewood, watching the flames.You know the embers are deserted.You know the night is long.You know the lonely shadow shakes.You know that time flows and changes.Illusions are not meant to be fixed.Don't wipe it, it's fading too.Don't crop it, it's broken too.

He said that all these chapters are beautiful, but together they cannot stand out clearly.The dense beauty may make people feel suffocated, and this kind of high-intensity subjective emotion and consciousness makes it difficult for people to read... I am naturally aware of these problems.Every line of the text written by myself can understand its source.But a person's life requires a certain stage of allowing one's own will. Creation is not a kind of cocooning, following the power of obsession.Play and fight with the beast in your heart.Right or wrong, it's the passion within.It's a freedom to let it erupt. Some people are never afraid to face two things in the mediocrity of life: instant gratification.die.This kind of person has the nature of a gambler, and there is a kind of degenerate and escaped beauty.Some of them appear in memory, and some become recurring characters in the book. I've always had some sort of interest in this kind of character.On another level, what they are facing is "shame defeated by ignorance and obsession". Everything is gradually improving.This is intuition. Last year I wrote "Performance", and this year I wrote "Long Pavilion".If there is innocence, longing, and expectation in love, it means that it will connect with disappointment, evil, and cruelty at the same time.This is the situation.Short stories have their own concise and complex world, which is different from novels. "He said, I'm very tired. Sometimes I wake up with you and think I've had a lifetime. I say, you're awake now. But a lifetime is far from over." Revising old drafts, looking back like this Reread something written ten years ago.Too many punctuation words to edit.Dissatisfied with the thinness and flaws of many expressions, but also touched by a certain youthful and sincere emotion. Early old works are the writer's burden.If the vitality is tenacious and fluid, it means that you are not allowed to revoke the credentials of growth. A writer is always ambivalent about his first book.I don't want to look back at it, and I don't want to show it to others.Others occasionally mention it with shame in their hearts.A past with mixed flavors is like a first love that is not worthy of praise.The process is very superficial, and many details have been forgotten, not as deep as it should be.But it's a mark. Many firsts are not perfection or glory, but are symbols of departure and practice. It has been revised to "Awakening".The excessive and repetitive use of words in the early works is untrained willfulness and carelessness.In the end, each word was so clean that it could not advance or retreat, and it was no longer redundant.The consciousness of cleanliness in this kind of writing is gradually established.Later, there were basically no words that could be deleted.When I read it, I saw the concise style and thought it was the same. A short story in "Mengxi Bi Tan".Du Wulang from Zhai County, Yangchang, Yingchang, is said to have been out of his house for 30 years.When someone came to visit, Du Sheng joked to the visitor that this was not the case, because fifteen years ago, he used to enjoy the shade under the mulberry tree outside the door.I don't go out, but I feel that it is useless to the world and I don't want to ask others, so I don't go out anymore.In the past, he made a living by choosing auspicious dates for people and selling medicines. Later, when he had a field, his son could cultivate it, and after he could get enough food from the fields, he stopped competing for profits with fellow villagers.Because poor people can only support themselves by practicing fortune-telling. Ask him what he does on weekdays, say, sit for nothing, ask if he reads books, say, someone gave him a book twenty years ago, and the "Jing Ming Jing" was mentioned many times in the book. Wen, I just feel that I like the discussions in the book very much.By now, those arguments have been forgotten.I don't know where to put the book.Du Wulang, who said these words, was wearing a cloth robe and straw sandals in midwinter.There was only one bed in the room.Only "the charm is leisurely and the words are concise". This story reads like Zen.Du Wulang is a man of Taoism. Sort all the books in the study.All the old books that have been collected for many years, are loved.A fixed small batch of repeated reading, ten years as one day.So far, I have bought the most books from Zhonghua Book Company.I hope they have an annual plan for dealing with leftover books in the future, and sell unsalable books at a low price. Reading time before bed is like a little prayer. Meet E.He is wearing a sea soul shirt, black sweater and sweatpants. He has not deformed and has a masculine air.Smart and thoughtful.made some comments.For example, at this age, it is most important to let yourself have fun and be satisfied.People need to bump into each other with the bottom line and measure the range.Now there is no need for hostile and fighting forces, what is needed is balance, perfection...that sort of thing. He is a thinking man.He's also becoming more of a realistic person (and that just sets off an exuberant but fragile idealism).During the period, he said that he couldn't light a cigarette for me with trembling hands, and that there was a genetic disease of Alzheimer's in the family.Therefore, "It's not okay to not be friendly with each other in time." When I left the restaurant, I saw that he was wearing very few clothes, and it was cold and windy outside.Let him wait inside, go out and help him stop the car. Writing is physical work.The body needs to follow up the operation of the heart and head, and carry the confrontation of emotion and reason.It is necessary to practice running and yoga. After learning meditation with Master on the mountain, a calm system gradually formed in the body for half an hour in the morning and evening. I took out a small box of white sandalwood sticks and lit one.Cizhao Temple was written on the white paper of the box, which seemed familiar, and it was the name of the temple mentioned in the outline of the novel before.The names of places and people mentioned in the novel so far are occasionally compared in reality, and sometimes they are exactly the same.Strange distant echo.It was as if I had seen these people, these things, these places a long time ago. Cleaning the tea set used in the afternoon in the middle of the night, I thought of "when the music was in full swing, I brushed my clothes and walked away, and the virtuous person let go of the cliff".I forgot for a moment where I read such a beautiful sentence. Continuing with the final revision, this week will hand over the long-awaited long text.Reading the "Sutra of Perfection" during rest, my heart is completely silent. Meeting people over a cup of tea or coffee is better than eating in a noisy restaurant.The materials and production methods of eating out cannot guarantee freshness and safety.It is a kind thing to come to eat at home.Rough tea and light meals are the second, and meeting, drinking and talking is the key.If there is good wine, good tea, and good conversation, it is enough to make up for everything.What to eat is secondary.How you eat is important. I have eaten in the temple several times, and I am quite impressed.If someone comes to add soup and vegetables, you can't pick and choose the offered meals, but you should be grateful.Stand upright and wholeheartedly, finish the food in the bowl.Keep quiet and don't talk.There are no reviews and no excess.In such a state of mind, it is sweet and satisfying.Children should live in the temple for a short period of time so that they learn how to eat and how to deal with food. In the life of an adult woman, the position of the kitchen gradually becomes important.Girlhood, no girl wants to stop in the kitchen.It is best to eat in a hurry, put down the rice bowl and rush to the ends of the earth immediately.Since I was a child, my mother never asked me to cook and wash dishes.Because they are untrained, they lack common sense and skills for working in the kitchen.As an adult, he seldom cooks for men.Usually the men cook for me. Once when my aunt visited, I didn’t mean to mention that I played in the country when I was young. At that time, I was young, she was a little girl, she had no toys, naughty and ignorant, she caught swallows from the eaves, and the two of them played together.He was reprimanded by others on the spot, because farmers cherish swallows very much.There is a saying in the south that once a girl has played with swallows, it is impossible to make delicious meals again.So the aunt said that she was not good at cooking, and she ate meals cooked by men. Marinate a piece of beef shoulder with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, minced garlic, brown sugar, thyme, and lemon juice.Put it in the refrigerator overnight, and take it out for frying at noon the next day.In the patient processing of food, people learn to experience, practice, screen and select various rich external factors, to sort contingency and inevitability, and to have an objective state of mind.Permission and waiting for the unknown. Now I'm slowly falling in love with cooking.Collect recipes.Working in the kitchen is a joy sometimes.Turn on the radio, listen to old songs, and fiddle with them.The fruit wine soaked in a large glass bottle. Various fruits are put into the distilled wine in the order of the seasons, and the color slowly turns dark red. It can be tasted after about four months.Clean up as you go.While waiting, you can look out the window at the garden and treat yourself to a drink. After finishing work or household chores, step into the kitchen.There is a glass cabinet dedicated to these items.All kinds of teacups, teapots, tea making tools, bamboo products, cups and saucers.The bowl is painted with simple and simple pine needles, flowers, clouds, blue and white on a white background.When old friends or guests from afar come, pick out some, wash and dry them, put nuts, fruits, snacks, flower branches on them, make a pot of tea, and have a chat at the table.Facing the small cup and small plate, the eyes are also clear and joyful. Choose the one that suits your current mood from all kinds of tea, wash your hands, boil water, make a small pot of tea, bring it to the dining table, and sit at the table overlooking the garden downstairs.Morning, afternoon, evening, night.The light and scene in the small garden are always changing, those tall buildings in the distance and the clouds in the sky.In the garden square, there are children gathering on skateboards, loud laughter and shouts, whirling in the faint.The light fixtures on the wheels of the skateboard flashed colorful lights.There are thin clouds in the sky.Sometimes there is the smell of food leftovers in the air. Such moments are for me, deeply connected to my heart, and thus I gain peace. Streets of Rome.The white-haired old woman wore a sky-blue silk dress and her hair was pulled up in a bun.Wear bright lipstick and hold a folding fan in your hand.Satisfying the heart is more important than any level of reality.European women are the kind of model who maintain a romantic mood even when they get older.Willing to dress up carefully, wear sparkling earrings, and stretch the eyebrows. Maintaining the sensitivity and vitality of love may be a responsibility that a woman should bear in this world. A girlfriend, about forty years old, with a loose bun, plain facial features, and bright red nail polish and lipstick.There is no limit to alcohol and tobacco, and the time is only used for pleasure and wasting.When he smiled, countless dense and fine lines bloomed in the corners of his eyes.A woman who is gradually getting older, with a secret past and the calmness in her eyes, the beauty that hesitates to speak is infinitely attractive. Some foreign women I know don’t wear expensive clothes and cosmetics, but they are willing to spend their money on expensive apartments, French mineral water and high-end champagne.This is a very different mentality from some Chinese women.The latter will reverse this order, frugal and frugal, just to buy a luxury designer bag. In a dream that day, I saw my childhood sweetheart K.He and I slept separately, weeping at the other end of the bed, his body shaking, and his crying was very suppressed.After waking up, there was deep compassion for each other in my heart. The show is over.Don't be nostalgic and forget to return, don't be dejected.A real actor makes his home everywhere, and he forgets it when he turns his head. Now that you know that life is like a play, you should try your best to perform it.The stage set up will sink into darkness after passing a village.At this moment, I look up to you in the audience, and give me the beauty and sadness of your dress without restraint and without hesitation.In this way, after the music is gone, you will still survive in my body and mind. "Love and indulgence is a sea of ​​suffering. A single thought is pure, and the flames become a pool." A sentence I read in the night carriage of the train. Seeing the master, he said that "emotional pain hurts the soul".I think pain has an antecedent, and the consequences need to be accepted, borne, and repaid.The other party who comes to ask for it should be allowed to leave with peace of mind.This antecedent is one of the important tasks of life and fulfills itself accordingly.The theme of this is also here. These people in the book, like all those who can't get their wish in this world, have the same desire as an eternal flame.It is impossible to try to split or extinguish it.To live in desire, to die without desire. In everyone's heart, there are two children.A gentle, kind, innocent, need to embrace, inclined to give, towards the source of light.A hostile, vigilant, stubborn, paranoid, who feeds on darkness and strife.We need to spend our lives taming and caring for these two children.Sometimes they coexist peacefully, and sometimes they live to the death.When any one of them dies, the heart loses its vitality. For a person who came to the world with a mission, what he has to go through is the tribulation set in advance, and there is a deep meaning behind all obstacles.At this time, the most important thing to avoid is to be disturbed by the people around you, and to be subdued by their patterns, words and deeds.If you try to be like everyone else, you are going against your own nature and against the deep meaning behind you.All a man can do is go his own way. Life is not meant to be displayed to the outside world or to others, not to be marred or fulfilled by these.No need to judge others, no need to follow.Everyone is reaching their own abyss.Each other's paths are different and cannot be imitated.The fundamental meaning of human existence is to fulfill one's own tasks.It's a personal thing. therefore.Just be aware of what you're doing and pay for those choices. Every time a book is written, life presents a brief pause, a void.When I wake up in the morning, sometimes I don’t know what to do for the day and how to start.But I remind myself that everything is normal, keep calm, and survive in silence.Like walking through split seas.Looking up in the wilderness, I saw the pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night.One should seek guidance and be pushed at the same time. To end something means to be whole, balanced, complete, beyond. End all work.I am leaving for Japan for two weeks next week. A beast, a living spring, a child, and a monk. Tokyo.The professor took me to a restaurant hidden in an alley.There is a grid of pools built outside the store, where goldfish are raised.People who come here to eat, watch and buy goldfish by the way.Following a subtle but precise rhythm, the food is delivered one after another.Take one away after eating one.Chrysanthemum petals are marinated and tasted.The sliced ​​pomelo holds fresh fish fillets, a light yellow orange with a strong aroma.Pumpkin, sweet potato, taro, and lotus root are steamed and eaten without seasoning. A dinner that corresponds to the season.Elegant food.Slightly intoxicated by Japanese sake. Farewell at the subway station.He stood at the entrance, watched him off, and waved gently.Entering the corner of the tunnel, looking back, the other party is still standing there, still waving.This method is very common in Japan.This kind of etiquette is in my memory. It was often seen in my childhood, at the door of the house, at the station, at the intersection... Now I rarely see it.There seems to have lost a light and graceful sense of preciousness between people. Small china shop.Collect unique utensils from all over the world: coffee cups, bowls, plates, chopsticks, fabrics... placed on wooden shelves.The owner is a middle-aged man in a cloth shirt and an apron.Choose a bowl and a cup.The patterns on the porcelain are deer, cherry blossoms, mountains and branches.A piece of dyed and woven fabric, the old color looks simple.It's also the work of the best artist in the store. He was probably happy with my choice and asked me if I liked cats.I said I liked it, and he took out a big cat from the inside, which was lazy and pampered. It was Chinchilla, and let me pet it and watch it.And a quick drawing of a cat's face with colored crayons on the wrapping paper bag, an impromptu move.When I said goodbye, I took out a pack of dried taro, a local specialty snack, and asked me to take it with me. Three Kabuki excerpts by Tamasaburo Bando.The writing brush of Jiujutang. Journey is not a scenic spot tour.Best to really get into the day-to-day life of the country.Even if the time is short, use your own eyes to observe and confirm its details.Walk on the street, appreciate handicrafts in small shops, and eat dishes made by locals in small restaurants.Talk to artisans.Connect with the locals. A lot of time is spent in museums and galleries.See a rare large-scale exhibition of Ukiyo-e and Rinpai. The main audience of art museums are mostly old people and housewives.They were in groups, travel-stained, and some came from outer cities on purpose.Compared with the elderly and housewives in China, their life has more vitality of exploration and development: watching exhibitions, watching performances, learning tea ceremony, learning musical instruments and painting, looking for restaurants with special flavors, traveling everywhere... This society can really enjoy It is those who have gone through the stages of creation and major ups and downs in life that lead to leisure and fulfillment.After the child becomes an adult and becomes independent, a second life begins.Rejuvenate with new vitality. In the subway, I saw someone rushing to study with a violin on his back.There are also many people who sit in the carriages and read books. The alleys of Nezu.The house and the little garden are different.The area of ​​each house looks small, and the buildings are some years old.Various potted plants are placed in the corner of the courtyard.Some small shops with no customers, scribbled a lot of cute things collected.The shop owner is just reading, cutting flowers or wiping in silence.It is not so much a job or a way of earning a living as it is a part of the content of life.It is a kind of experience in dealing with time and things. antique shop.The stairs are narrow.The room on the second floor is full of debris.Glass, porcelain, toys, picture frames, jewellery, bowls, plates, lacquerware, puppets, magazines, postcards, picture books, music boxes... I saw toys that I played with in childhood but have long since disappeared.The shop owner keeps old items in a room and grows old with them. Ukiyo-e old paintings.Four lacquer plates inlaid with mother-of-pearl depicting seasonal flowers. The last day.Take the subway to Shibuya Seibu Department Store, buy cotton socks, sweaters, books, cherry blossom white tea, and snacks.Watch Noh in Omotesando.There is a long pause between the performance and the audience, as if the silence is approaching the limit.This is the nature of Japan.The fireworks of blind obedience who are not keen on making noise.This kind of tranquility and coolness, this ritualized aesthetic way of life. Afterwards, eat at a restaurant and drink sake Mitsuro.Chat and smoke.Take the subway back to the hotel. Arrive in Kyoto at night.Stay in an eight-seat room, facing the courtyard, comfortable and old-fashioned.The thick white quilt on the tatami is warm, and you can fall asleep after tossing and turning for a while.It rained at night, and the reflections of pine and bamboo branches and leaves on the paper screen swayed.When the rain stopped in the morning, the pine needles were covered with water droplets, so I took out the camera and took pictures one by one. Mural by Motonobu Kano.The stationery store buys paper, ink, pens and inkstones, scripture copying paper.Eat eel rice.Sit in the garden and bask in the sun.Eat dim sum at the old Beijing fruit shop.Kabuki performance at the Minamiza Theater.Buckwheat duck noodles.Yuehuaxiang.Make a wish.A bamboo forest with gurgling streams.White clouds in the night sky. The menu of the restaurant is handwritten with a brush, and the cursive script is scattered.The paper is printed with falling cherry blossoms. After using it for a long time, the paper has been worn out and its lines have been broken.The two facing pages are about to be separated and have not been replaced.There are stacks of simple utensils under the cabinet, and the attitude of the clerk in using them seems to be well-matched and extremely casual.This is the way to be reminded time and time again to enjoy.Like a vermilion wooden bridge among green willows and blue lakes. In the rain, climb up the mountain forest opposite Kiyomizu Temple and look at the wooden high platform of the temple. The Crane and Turtle Garden was empty.Drink coffee and smoke by the side of the road.Eat mackerel sushi for lunch.In the afternoon, I went to Yibaotang tea shop. It rained heavily and stopped later.Have refreshments.Sitting quietly on the tatami mats in the temple hall for a long time, the huge pine and cypress bonsai are very magnificent. I went to the incense shop to buy the incense I like. I have a faint nostalgic concern for Nara, although I only stay here for one day. Visit Horyuji Temple in heavy rain.On the sunny afternoon after the rain, I lingered in the old alley.Narrow and long bluestone roads, messy and criss-crossed telephone poles, and autumn chrysanthemum pots in the corners.Throughout the late autumn afternoon, there was no sound in the air.My childhood hometown has been transformed into a new city full of commercial atmosphere, but Nara has stagnated in a kind of old mood and calm.A postcard to M, "It's hard to say a word all the time, but it's the other side. I hope that the changes in the world will make us stronger and return to simplicity." Awareness of impermanence frees one from fear.Occasionally, when a crystal plate is given as a gift by others, it is accidentally broken, and the pieces are just swept away and buried in the soil. If you have decided to give up, there is no need to split the problem.If there is still hope, and believe in the results of time.It's not as important as you think it is, and it's not as bad as you think it is.Everything is fine, don't worry about it.Let things drive themselves.This is the way things are.Wait for it to happen naturally. It snowed again.Through the thick snow in the desolate garden. Each sorrow should only be given to oneself.For others, these are unimportant and humble. The world can sometimes show a dull side.Everyone wants to prove that they are right.Everyone is equally inconsistent and contradictory.There is no need to say much about other people's opinions and opinions.Let them have their own homes after the hustle and bustle. It is necessary to be a person who knows how to be silent at the right time and maintain a solid skeleton. Sometimes the body and mind are so dry that they emit some light fragrance.Wearing old beads on your wrist gives you a sense of stability. In the afternoon, I went to Xinjiekou to buy classical music CDs with M in the cold weather, and he helped me choose them.He noticed a tweed coat I was wearing and guessed it was from a gay designer with a classic 1950s and 1960s sensibility.He said it's very important that you wear the right clothes. He was also very interested in the white lace stockings I bought in Tokyo.It's a pity that I didn't bring a camera to take pictures of it.Say it breaks the rules of everyday life.I still haven't grasped the meaning of this sensitive man.Tell him about the recent situation, saying that since he tried to meditate, he has rarely smoked or drank strong alcohol.Also almost do not like to eat meat.This is not forced, but a real feeling that the body and mind are no longer needed. As usual, I talked about some topics.When it comes to instant gratification, M thinks it should be understood as a kind of practical ability, to convert the inner will into strong and clear actions as much as possible at the moment, regardless of whether it is pain or pleasure, maybe both of them need to be acted on .Practice comes from the way time is being spent.But we haven't had time to talk about the attendant dangers and commitments. He was thin and had come back from hunting weed in Holland.Five years ago he took me to a Japanese noodle shop in an alley to eat noodles.We all wanted to go again, only to find out that the noodle shop had been demolished.Diverted to the Yunnan restaurant.Then go to the teahouse for tea.Late at night and close to the early morning, they dispersed separately.A blizzard fell from the night sky. I wrapped some dried wintersweet in old tissue paper and gave it to him.Last winter, the wintersweet tree at the gate of the temple bloomed.The master in the temple collected some and put them in a red round box as a gift.After I came back, I put it in the cupboard and it has not been moved.In summer, boil water in an iron pot, soak a pinch of dried wintersweet in the hot water, and the soup will be golden yellow and fragrant.Colorless after three bubbles.Although it is a common flower in southern memory, this is the first time I have tasted it. I said, drink it when you have a sore throat.He put it in his coat pocket. The snowflakes were flying, and I reached out and grabbed a few in the air, feeling happy. It snowed heavily all night.After the ice and snow melted during the day, everything was exposed.It is still a blank land and an empty city.Snow seems to be an illusion. Have dinner with S at noon.She is so warm and rich in her heart, but she has not found a corresponding person in the world.After middle age, the emotional life is still turbulent.I looked at her beautiful pair of pearl and tortoiseshell earrings, and felt hormones emanating from every strand of her hair.Women's nature is to live for love.This is nature.I told her that there was no need to feel weak or suspicious, just go on like this. There are two kinds of emotions in the world, those that can be exhausted and those that cannot.The reasons are different and need not be analyzed.Can be exhausted feelings, with hard work and decisiveness, even if you pay a big price, you will bear it.Inexhaustible feelings, and treat it as a gift, treat each other kindly, and try to give happiness.stop here. In a person's life, it is a rare and precious opportunity to obtain a feeling of unity of body and mind, beginning and end.Most people never get a matching partner.It is nothing but a divisive and mechanical maintenance in the face of reality.The incompatible loneliness when two people are together is sometimes far stronger than being alone. The qualities of two people can fuel or suppress each other, which means that, in the presence of some people, the fire in us falls asleep.In the presence of others, it will be awakened.Some people make us feel inferior and unacceptable.Some people make us a better version of ourselves, or even produce a breakthrough.Love is an unquenchable flame that should be delivered to the right person who can bear it. Being burned seems to be a price.Man has to withstand the fall of devotion and exertion. Pay attention to your own thoughts at all times.Once you pay attention, it is possible to dissolve it.Don't let the heart be limited and become an impregnable wall.No self-torture, no harm to each other. You have clear light and simple beauty.Long prayers are borne in the bones.Our agreement is sincere, and it must be carried out. Read the first paragraph of prostration before going to bed: May the self-generated mahamudra protect you, let all things that are stable and changeable, roll into a state, and with firm joy like a lasso like lightning, let one hundred and zero All eight knots disappeared without a trace. After reading the whole sentence, I burst into tears for no reason. Spend the last night at the end of the year like this: cook a simple dinner at home alone, rice, fish roe, and boiled vegetables.Fighting alone, rushing to write a 10,000-character novel for a magazine, and finishing writing 3,000 words may last until late at night.On the first morning tomorrow, prepare to get up early to take a shower and walk to the temple. People who spent their childhood in the mountains will have other formations in their character compared with those in the city.Gradually, I felt a personality similar to that of my mother. She was stubborn on the outside, but sincere on the inside.Fortunately, there are many kind people.Occasionally recalling the way ahead, rebellious and stubborn. Although it has been broken many times, it has gone a long way because of it.Where there is an end, there is a beginning.The new year is about to begin.Wash your hands and purify your heart, pray for blessings and self-examination. Something should happen to make you better, not worse.Or it can lead to a drastic correction after going bad.Experience will be a kind of practice and accumulation.After precipitation, it brings a new level of advancement. Some things don't have to be said, maybe they are just what they think is true.There are some things that don't need to be distinguished, maybe it's just what each thinks is reasonable.There is no one who misses or does something wrong in this world.What happens is right, they are accurate. Signed a contract with a Taiwanese editor for the traditional Chinese version of the new novel.I spent a long time together in a small restaurant in Sanlitun, reading manuscripts and discussing.When saying goodbye, he may have just finished reading the novel, and he expressed his feelings, saying that every writing process is actually a kind of pain.Because of this experience, in reality, you may no longer be able to live innocently. At the time of the handover at dusk, I saw the full moon, hanging on the edge of the wilderness, shining brightly.In order to see it for a while, I deliberately walked for a longer time.The wind is cold and there are few people.Such moments are filled with an inexplicable and strong meaning to me.在花园中走了很久。 产生一种愿力，希望月光流至心里，彼此深深渗透和联接。 十年文集出版。“日影飞去，字入水中。” 文字原本属于人对自身生命的处理和完善。微小人类的言论不足道，由凡人创作的文字作品也多有缺漏不足。一个作者写下文字，最终不过与自己的生命相关。一再浸入重生的河，在残缺的镜中照见幻世的影。 这些故事和文字之中带罪的人，用造设铺陈来做清洗。表达、理解、哀悯、释放。这都是清洗。他们是海中的孤船，荒原里的野草。 工作结束之后想把作品搁置。面对自己现实中生命的问题，如同从一片潜藏许久的大海深处猛然跃起。火热阳光刺戳额头眉心眼皮下颚，身上水流泄空，心里空洞明亮。 生命中有一扇门始终没有打开。为此你尝试先打开了所有其他的门，最终还是返回到那扇紧闭的门前。务必要打开它。回来和解决都是迟早的问题。 “你只管走自己的路……同时要允许别人走他们自己的路。”摘句。 要始终迈开脚步移动，即便不知道前面是什么。信任行动胜于一切言论和妄想。 十个小时以上的漫长飞机航行，适合读书。尤其适合阅读一本繁体竖排密密麻麻费解难懂的书。在一个有限的被停顿的时段里，人被迫专注。一些重要的书基本都是在飞机上读完。 买了一副新的耳环。绿色和蓝灰色的水晶及月光石镶嵌。 航行经过一片白茫茫冰雪覆盖的山岭。忘记了在身边沉睡过的人，梦中只见到麋鹿的犄角划过深绿灌木。你赠予我的宝石项链，一掉入湖水就化成了水滴。过去已去，未来还没有来。现在我在这里。 摩天轮，巴黎。世间的某些部分需要你的相信，某些部分不过只是一个游乐场。 在旅馆房间。清晨醒来撩开窗帘，听到叩击玻璃窗的分明雨声。光线很暗，不打开电视，有时在小圆桌边默默坐着。在一个很远的地方，但并没有离开自己。这种如影相随的孤单，在长久的自处和过滤中，逐渐成为一种安然。 一次小型的演讲。男孩特意坐火车来听我说话，众人之中起身说，我来看你，心情如同来看望恋爱中的一个女朋友，心跳得这样快。他应看到我已不是那个写的二十四岁的年轻女子。他也许已无法继续阅读我的新作，比如。但这份惺惺相惜的初心仍令我心暖。不知道该对他说什么，于是微笑着，什么也没有说。 古老的宫殿建筑。幽微光线。她递过来一方手帕，说在附近店铺购买，来不及包装。小心折叠起来的棉布，上面绘有淡紫色铃兰，描着金线。这个年轻女孩，有一张白净的鹅蛋形脸庞。穿及踝长裙，漆黑发丝边佩戴一朵芍药花。她是我的读者。 甚为喜欢这方手帕。送心爱的人手帕是一种多么古典而柔情的方式。 西斯廷小教堂。在封闭和阴暗之中，穹顶壁画在头顶展开。亚当与上帝手指相触的瞬间，脸上有儿童般的纯净无助。仿佛即刻将被破坏。如同一种暗示，生命从此刻开始处于追寻。 笔记摘自一位希腊教授演讲：一，有效运作需要内在的道德核心和结构。如果核心是有错误的，不管运作多么前进，就是深刻的危机，在摇篮里就会指向死亡。二，所有的危机都是道德危机。三，现代社会注重改善生活标准而不是改善生活质量。在时间进程里，人类道德的地平线狭窄了，把符合人性的生活可能性排除了。四，你也许会有一辆技术先进的跑车，但却没有一起坐车观赏风景的人，你实际处于悲惨境地。从现代生活系统角度看，你过得很幸福，但这个系统一开始的道德目标就是有错误的。五，每一个人都需要检查自己的目的，方式，做好个体的哲学工作，除非只想建立一种貌似完美的混乱。 从克里特岛到雅典有一段夜船的旅途，会写在小说里。坐夜船的记忆还停留在童年时候。 如果想去一个地方，想过很久，有一天就带着自己走了。这只是时间问题。 有时我们会选择对某个人某件事服输，其实是向自己服输。人不可能一直试图战胜自己，这代价危险。有时你必须允许自己败给这个世界不可测的脆弱和威严，败给人性的复杂和深不可言。 三里屯。寒风中这个瘦小的女子，说韩语，黑大衣，短裙，透明黑丝袜，一双细高跟黑鞋。黑色长发，大红色口红，抹了白粉的面容。裸露秀丽的小腿，脸色稳定。以前我觉得这样的女子缺乏理性，现在却觉得这美很是刚强。为了越过生活的庸俗，人所做出的牺牲值得。反之，厚厚裹起来害怕受冻的人，过于现实和安全。 美需要怪异和逆反。需要牺牲。 翻出旧稿，试图再做若干小小修改。除了删除字词已再无工作可做。它被密密缝制成一条拼花被子，每一块花布各定其位。再次阅读，觉得它如同一条执拗而窄小的隧道，径直通往人心内里。完全不管不顾。这样封闭模式的写作，也就这样一次。若再写一本小说，根本已无心力近同。 它的写法和内容考验读者耐心，易起争议。开篇前奏缓慢，一半之后，大概从第七章开始进入正式旅途。最后一章是终点，但必须以之前的漫长前路做铺垫。这是任性之处。 在某种程度上，我接受它是一本会被浪费的作品。即它被接受的，也许是其表象最浅层的一面，而底下的深度无法被轻易掘起。浪沙越重，内在埋藏越深。快速论断使很多任性的作品获得在时空领域里被再次阐释的可能性。这使时间生发出空旷的意味。我甘愿它如此。 它的有力与它的缺陷和任性同等明显，也许是十年之后我依然能够拿起来重读的作品。之类的旧作，不具备这样的力量。大部分旧作对我而言，均是一种练笔，一种准备。是一次中途的完成。 小说的功能即是为读者提供一种生活和思考经验之外的新的可能性，外界吸收和接受与否，书要顺受坦然。对我来说，我对它的不完美和强壮都觉放心，由它独自开始漫长旅途并接受波澜。信任它如河流孤行，最终归入大海。 应把小儿女情怀变成大的悲悯。 他说他觉得内心很孤独，找不到可以回去的家。他说，见到你本来是高兴的事情，但你是个混合体。走过泥泞的街道，坐下来喝一杯热茶。他在出租车上不知觉地入睡。日益老去的侧脸线条。 如果这是生活中最大的一个负面存在，那么必须要从根部开始铲除。把匕首吞下咽喉，把碎片埋入泥土。 经历黑暗与毒药的试炼，不逃避，吞食它，转化它。穿越最后一线生机。得胜使人加倍得到光明。通过它们如同通过悬崖边一线缝隙，以全部的专注和勇气。 恶与苦痛是修行，是从火焰中挣脱出来的清凉和后退。 不要试图去改变或影响任何对方。感情若充满猜测、试探、计较、自保、角斗、争辩及反复之心，会成为成人世界凉薄人情和经验偏见的综合体。 因此，我只有一个微小的理想。愿能够清澈而怜悯地爱着你。清澈，怜悯。But that's all. 以余生的速度，慢慢用手和笔，写下整沓稿纸的文字给你，留下拙实的字迹和记忆给你。纸会发黄，墨迹会损淡，但它是一个物证。 我并不惧怕你我化作了灰。只希望这灰烬的每一个颗粒都是被充分烧尽的。 终有一天，这颗心会如海中滴水，失去踪迹。 男女之间，若只以好奇和欲望来做动力，一旦占有或产生厌倦之心，关系就失去行进的动力。如同被嚼过的甘蔗渣滓，榨取完尽甜美可见的汁液，只能被丢弃。所以人常说，分手之后，相见不如怀念。 但我认为爱的喜悦，如同所有关系的源泉，应来自彼此思维的共振。来自它们的撞击、应和、交叠、推动。如果双方保持成长，思维能够开拓边界递进深度，那么不管关系是否终结，只要相见，依然可以彼此给予。这样便具备了永久的相爱的可能性。 爱是存在，是行动。它自身可以成为自己的源泉。 “One man loved the pilgrim soul in you,And loved the sorrows of your changing face.”叶芝的诗句。觉得中文有时无法精确阐述英文独有的表达，如同英文有时也无法如实传递中文。这段话的涵义只能意会无法言传。 人会有多次搬家，变迁，整理，以至失去记忆中存在的许多照片。遗失的同时，也失去自身与岁月彼此对照的机会。 我无论如何也找不到自己三岁时的照片。只记得穿着小圆领灯心绒外套，胸口处有绣花，眼睛黑亮。也找不到祖父母年轻时拍过的一些照片，发黄的小黑白照片。它们曾被白纸密密地包起来塞在抽屉里。在特定的年代，很多照片不能示众，也被它们的家庭草率对待。照片里的年轻人，他们梳理的发型，穿的丝绸衣服，严肃的神情，是现在不能看到的。 富足的照片，显示出一个家庭内在的稳定和平衡及以此带来的价值观。奔波劳碌的家庭不会有很多照片，即使有也大多会失散或损坏。 还是有一部分被保留下来。上世纪三十年代到八十年代，穿着丝绸旗袍绣花鞋的新嫁女子，戴着银项圈和虎头帽的男童，在杭州西湖边旅行的年轻夫妇，抱在怀里的头发上扎着大绸带结的满月女婴……一个十年，又一个十年。照片展示出人所演示的存在的一生，其间隐藏无数流离和变故。只有被凝固的某一格时光，银光闪闪，洁净无瑕疵。如同一声含蓄的叹息，隐藏在岁月机关交错的拐角处。 因为照片，我了解一个不再复返的时代。以及那个时代里曾经存在过的人的样子。 早年的照片是黑白的，小张，边缘分割成优雅的锯齿状，有照相馆的名字及拍摄时间。背后有题词，在亲友知己间互相赠送，是正式的信物。看起来拍得都很好，用光及灰度的层次，细腻和谐。那时照相馆用的是一种大型的完全手动的相机，摄影师基本上只拍一张，一次就过。对被拍者来说，这是很隆重的事情。需要穿上体面的衣服，把头发梳理得光滑，面容修饰干净，摆好姿势。 旧式的人在旧式照片里，脸上会发出一种光来。很少有人在拍照时笑，在不被暗示但全神贯注的时候，自然流露出天性。严肃有一种隐藏的力量，即便略带抑郁。从某种意义上说，曾经的那些村镇或小城照相馆里的摄影师，都可算是大师。拍和被拍的人内心郑重，端庄好看，气场有重量。 我常会对爱着的人提出要求，想看到他的家庭照片。看到他的母亲，父亲，姐姐，朋友，亲戚，全家福，因此获得进入一个陌生家庭核心的通道。进入他们的内部，获得这些人的细节和特征。年轻时人都这样美丽，皮肉光滑，眼眉清新。创伤、欲望、颠沛流离，风餐露宿，一切最终使人老去。这是时间的威力。 当我看着这些与我的生命无关的人的照片，他们的存在。我感受到彼此深深相联的存在于世的一体性。 小学春游。学校带领去奉化爬山，同学都跟着老师往前走，只有我迷了路。看到边上杜鹃花开得烂漫艳丽，想不明白为何不能去山野里看花，却要大伙一起人跟人排队爬石梯。掉队去山谷里漫游。独自一人，势单力薄。老师寻过来，严厉训斥。 一个人若注重自我的存在感大过于对集体的遵循，会成为一个边缘人。自主、远行、冒险、一意孤行，离开社会的主流。他需要付出某种孤立的代价。 二〇〇四年，抵达雅鲁藏布大峡谷和墨脱。我从不试图再回去墨脱。大雨，泥泞，高山，塌方，置于生死之中的麻木不仁。在路途中已知，有些地方，一生只能去一次。但那依旧是一生的事。二〇〇六年，出版，为杂志拍摄第一次封面照片。在摄影师房间。衬衣，裙子，球鞋，长发，香烟，清水及耳环。那一年代表着生活的某处分界。 在拉萨的寺庙空地拍摄过的大丽花。那时是十月，不知为何，那花如此鲜艳。我热爱所有真情实感的花朵，如同热爱人之感性和激情。如同冲浪的人对剧烈浪头的等待和迎接。即便为之损伤。 下厂，进入印刷期。这周做了第一次正式采访。是接受同一个人的第三次采访，她的问题一贯简洁贴近。 莲蓬，大丽花，绣球，马蹄莲，金色羊齿，日本折扇，团扇，丝绒披肩。第二个封面，距离〇六年黑白封面已过五年。工作从早上九点持续到晚上七点。宝丽来脆弱易变，无法复制，呈现出新的经验。 在某些状况下，必须转身放手，面对独自的茫茫黑夜。 如果这是必经道路，无需质疑为何需要如此。不管亮光在哪里，只管迈开脚步。置身于全然的黑暗之中，不再询问光的来源。只有持续的行走，才是划裂它的唯一可能。 不迷恋断壁残垣动荡中的城池。即便是一场幻术，也要各尽其责。 目送你一程。自此各奔东西。 埋葬完毕的旧躯壳，生发出一片绿意盈盈的森林。你说，继续等。微微打个瞌睡，人生就翻开了新一页。我仍旧等待。我在等待。这所有的发生其实最终是在验证这个。 既可以死去，也可以谦卑地活下去。 有人在家里阴凉处储存大缸云南普洱茶。喝了那个人顶好的茶之后，再喝其他便觉得有些粗糙。可见茶跟见识一样，一被拔高，容易心生惭愧。也像得到一个境遇高贵的爱人，即便相处有限期，也会记得他的光华，更觉此后世间窘迫的人为多。我对茶素来无瘾，也不追求。偶尔喝到好茶，只当是邂逅，总是感谢的心居多。 紫檀，牛毛纹，暗而典雅的光泽。古穆的气质。色泽沉郁浓厚，也着实昂贵。红木老了之后，颜色也转暗。这些珍贵的木头，抚摸上去质感是独特的。清朗润泽，富丽从容。有芳香味。古代中国人知道什么是好东西。他们以现实主义的态度，理性对待自己的人生质量，欣赏、创造、赞美一切风雅的事物。 人该如好木、好茶。岁月会让珍贵的质地更有分量，以内在、密度、硬度、特质，对抗外界流动及喧嚣。凭着天生样貌和身材，以年轻取胜，并不是高级的优美。被生活锤炼过，充满内心历史，最终心定意平。这才有了人的品格。 搬运工人来送一盆粗壮高大的佛手，花盆不小心在樱桃木地板上划出一道细长伤痕。如同美与美之间的折损。要避免的只是恶与恶之间的碰撞。唯独这才是一种禁忌。 冬天晚上，不知为何经常会觉得饿。时常半夜起来吃东西。买了两双高跟鞋，同样款式，一双纯黑色，一双深紫色。 不起疑心，没有贪念。记得即刻惜取，最好转眼就忘。这便是直指尽头。 在制作古琴的偏僻工厂里，看到插在巨大瓦罐里的腊梅树枝，很粗壮，似乎是老树。旁边有两盆兰花。落地窗外绿树荫荫。普洱有一股陈年霉味。犹记得那个穿布衫的中年男子，信手抚琴，弹奏一曲。琴弦在空气中微微震颤，手指揉搓，心为之震动。 已过去两日，仍是难忘。 读书是照镜。每人不过担当自己的担子。读者在阅读时，自动拣取一本书的内心，书也在同时自动筛选阅读着它的那个人。不会互相等待。若因心性、理解、领悟和经历的差异，彼此缺乏流动的通道，书便是彼此的隔膜。 出版，再次发起的种种争议都在预期之内。包括有读者感觉阅读困难或无法读完。这一切使人冷静，获得内在的反省空间，重新整理和观察思路。 各种谩骂、扭曲等恶口，则只是人心各自的事，已与作品本身全然无关。貌似这个社会充满一种无畏的疾病般的攻击性。（在虚弱而躲藏的假面背后。对他人的践踏替代不能如愿的欲望的发泄。） 虽在网络或匿名，心念和语言的种子最终仍会在自己的心里结果。 我敬慕那些温柔的轮廓洁净的人，他们仿佛已经是一种完成。但我更为喜爱那些面目安静却暗藏不羁和顽劣的人。他们的心还走在路上，还在等待被损伤和重塑。 遗失了一只碗，得到两只扁平的茶盏。一只上面描着兰草，一只是莲。这世间诸事不增不减。洗净双手，午后沏茶。即便是我自己，也无法道出这种内心时时沉默的完整和满溢。 冬日夜晚，好的事情是看到家里亮起来的灯，躺在被窝里看书，喝到热茶，在早晨的寒意和阳光中跑步，炖煮热汤，小餐厅里喝酒。 春节对我来说不是一个愉快的节日。喧闹世俗的春晚，惊天动地的鞭炮，丰盛腻足的食物，映衬着人在命运阴影里的颠沛流离。有时我只愿与一人同去某个幽僻而深远的小村庄，喝酒，踏雪，入睡，早起携手寻访腊梅花……静静做这些与世隔绝的事情。美好愿景需要正确的人参与。需要很有力气地生活着。 时间太短，时间不够，但一切都来得及。一起去环游世界，带上简单的行李即刻出发。时间所剩无多，走得越早越好。 冬季末梢，阅读、休憩、净化、过滤、内省，首要的是感谢。感谢自他人之处所得到的，也感谢自己为他人所送出的。“请看到任何事物的完美之处。” 我的心是一座浸泡在海水中的宫殿。多年之后，你会记得它，也许忘却它。最终，你会怀念它。这种悲哀与击伤。这种怜悯与温柔。这空无而充盈的力量。 在东京拍摄的照片被邀请制作成一个小说家的新书封面。对方出版社询问如何付酬，答复他们不收取任何费用，赠予对方。样本寄来，翻看几页，其中有一句话。“我一生有的都是些琐事，历史跟国家从没有烦过我。” 整理书房，旧信，照片。有很多没有整理。时间每一刻都在流逝，这些被凝固的瞬间，记录了曾处在何时何地，曾与谁对照，曾停留过怎样的自己。片段里可捕捉到构成自我的一条微弱而明确的线索。有时你会遗忘，事实上它一直存在。 再次看到尼泊尔小城镇的早晨。空旷的马路边，牛和垃圾在一起，天空泛出灰蓝色。那是炎热天气里唯一略有清凉的时分。人在路上，每一天都在朝向未知，朝向新的没有抵达的目标。在陌生的文明和人群里生活，感受他们带来的崭新的冲击。 那些内心静谧的片刻。清晨的麦田和雾气。微妙的光线。一条逐渐忘记自己的道路。 毫无疑问，需要费心操劳的，需要勉强敷衍的，都不是你的东西。挣扎或对抗的过程，只是用以训练的工具。属于你的事物，只会以自动出现的方式靠近，并且自在而适宜，得心应手，水到渠成。它在终点等待，只为见证你真正的自足。 中午做意大利面条。去商店买白衬衣，新的内衣。今日是否应该早睡，并在睡前认真读完二十页的书。 隐约中的一个梦。听见空姐过来说，现在无法降落，也不能确定飞机是否需要飞去另一个地方。听到之后，没有什么恐慌，也无悲喜。只是无法证实这是做的梦还是现实。醒来后，飞机降落于云雾阴沉暴雨即至的机场。 “我只想竭尽全力地投身自己的工作之中。对我而言，除了工作便一无所有。我感到自己言犹未尽。可是在目前的抑郁心境下，我又说不清自己想要说什么。长年以来我所期盼的作品，是寂静的观照，素材的纯化以及孤独的境地。而我