Chapter 4 Three hearts like the autumn moon

I got up early and went to the flower market, bought a pot of bergamot and a pot of green oranges.Enjoy chrysanthemums, eat crabs, drink rice wine, and look at red leaves.Everything is in season.How come there are all kinds of big things in life, but they coexist with some small things with the heart.There is beauty, there is leakage, there is suffering, and there is happiness.Will die of old age, without pretense.Therefore, there should be no intention of clearing the rewards. The scent of sweet-scented osmanthus in the south is still in my heart.My mother said that sweet-scented osmanthus is still sold, so you can send it to me.It is especially suitable to be sprinkled in hot glutinous rice balls.Running in the morning, I saw that the persimmon tree was full of fruits, and the hawthorn had turned red.Hedge daisies come in white and yellow varieties.I think of the chrysanthemum exhibitions that were often held in Zhongshan Park when I was a child.The petals of the crab claws are silky, so strange that people can't bear to play with them, and taking them off is also the heart of admiration.

I am used to ordering embroidered shoes in a familiar cloth shoe store in Shanghai.Made of velvet or silk satin, the toe is embroidered with traditional patterns such as peonies, peacocks, and mandarin ducks.It is not easy to clean if it is dirty, and it can only be discarded if it is dirty.Walking on the road, there are often women who deliberately approach and praise the shoes for their good looks.But they think it looks good, but they don't wear it. Few girls wear flowers these days.Chinese rose, gardenia, jasmine, rose, carnation, peony... Fresh and fashionable flowers are suitable for hairpins, reflecting the watery hair and face.However, we have a sense of shame towards the beautiful things of nature.I think they are outdated, not fashionable, and they are old-fashioned.Real and lasting aesthetics should be a kind of feeling.The so-called superficial and ever-changing fashion is a trick.

Meet G in the coffee shop in the afternoon.Send me a string of small white wooden beads bought in India, the tears of Shiva.Chat for two and a half hours.Drive to Hutong at dusk and eat simple braised pork rice together.Drama in a small theater. He asked me what was the pressure on you to write.Do you feel that sometimes you don't want to do it, but you have to do it.I say that it is not necessary to do it, but to do it when you think about it. This is the luck of the profession.The only pressure of writing is that it makes you have demands on yourself.It doesn't stop, so that you are always threatened and driven by a fire inside you.

Some people can sing a famous song for half their life, and fans feel satisfied after listening to one song.Some people copied a group of oil paintings with one theme and one concept.Writing a business story novel without the assembly line, the writing itself requires the author to keep climbing the mountain.He always needs to offer new journeys. Fire energy craves storage and surges, eventually leaping into a deep sense of emptiness. The highest relationship between the creator and the work is to place himself as a sacrifice on the altar. There are lengthy meetings in the afternoon.Tired, but not in vain.Eat a whole box of chocolates.Hot water, cigarettes.These are good for the moment.

At six o'clock in the evening in Beijing, even a taxi could not be taken, but there were crowds of people waiting.I walked into the small restaurant next to me alone, but fortunately it was clean and free.Tofu, rice, a cup of hot water, two cigarettes, listening to a middle-aged couple chatting next door.They dressed casually, ordered a table of food, poured wine and drank each other.Not much to say. (Gradually I felt that they should be a pair of lovers. Ordinary couples in China seldom show such subtle affection and the aftertaste of silently sharing each other.) When I went out again, the night was dark and the traffic was roaring.The people waiting for the car dispersed.Hit a car smoothly.

Received the mail at night. "There is a slight depression on the hillside, covered with white and slightly pink flowers. The flowers are small, but they are so beautiful when they stretch together. I really want you to see it with your own eyes. I see many things are beautiful. Even ordinary When others see it, they may not think it is as good as what I said. Simplicity is beauty, incompleteness is beauty, ordinariness is beauty... Now that the curtain has not been raised, there is only faint instrumental music. How things will go depends on how you think and Choice, and the combined force of many external things. Don't forget the force behind you."

Bright and conventional feelings give people a sense of security and gradually transition from sensibility to rationality.As a result, he gradually lost vigilance and vitality.Like a marriage that finally comes to fruition, a partner who has been with you for many years, and a love affair that is logical.The satiated man is drowsy, but the man who chases and catches has a keen heart and sharp eyes. Qing Chang, the woman in the novel gradually takes shape.I have had some kind of skin and emotional hunger since I was a child.Build her composition in dedicated chapters, little by little, until the formation of a castle in the wilderness.Human personality has its source, which determines the direction of life.When we have been driven by the tide for a long time, trying to go back to the source actually represents a kind of inner self-knowledge and awakening.

She encounters a love affair that gets bogged down.It was covered in mud and filthy.Rolling and tossing in the mud, so strong, finally climbed to the shore with great difficulty.This process of constantly falling and breaking free is exhausting.The desire and trauma hidden inside make devilish temptations.A dark feeling that goes beyond the norm is a struggle, a trial. The preciousness of love lies in the fact that we meet someone who can love, rather than being loved one-way.Being loved lacks the opportunity to wrestle with ego.The person we love brings the shattering of delusions and inner sobriety, and finally makes us see through the attachments in our hearts.He allows us to break through the confusion and see ourselves clearly.Leave when you're done.

Some people, even if they are infatuated with each other, are destined not to be able to live together.They have another mission.It is usually other people who accompany us to grow old, irrelevant, and the days and nights are long.This is the balance of the vastness, ignoring the little love in people's heart, the weight of love is too small for it. Everything is wrong.This situation is not there, this feeling is gone.Everything is broken and damaged.This is the power of impermanence.If there is no pain, darkness, injury, and secrets in life, it is actually a boring thing. Dreaming of the tide sweeping the rocks, but one step away from people.I dreamed that he was riding a bicycle and taking me through the deserted and empty alleys.

Strange readers sent parcels, scarves, two boxes of Macau snacks, a bottle of olive oil, and a video.These items exude a personal air. Take the time to watch the DVD alone. we.The music and the performance of one of the leading ladies, Abby, is strong, the rest is mediocre.The strong parts are still too strong after all.Pay attention to the equality of love itself, and you can get a glimpse of the inner unruly, oppressive and vigorous self-breakthrough.The joy of human beings lies in being able to express pain so clearly. Female directors still prefer handsome and strong men with lower status.And the way he opened his shirt and held a cigarette with his fingers and played the piano was indeed charming.

Anything in this world is false, and the moment when the fragile and impermanent body and mind can be gently embraced, caressed, comforted, and connected, it is to break through the emptiness.Hit the air with the air. Film score by Abel Korzeniowski.Polish. Revolving Door, the single loops throughout the night.Cello and piano.Progression and accumulation, control and flow.Open the floor-to-ceiling windows and stand on the balcony to smoke.The music echoed in the empty living room, faintly vibrating to the ears. After reading a book, even if you think it is good, you often can't remember the sentences in it, and you can't use or fiddle with it.Maybe reading it is like drinking a glass of water, just to maintain daily existence. Self-help, self-improvement, self-education, is a task.We should bear the light and dark half of life calmly, and try our best to dispel doubts.People have tried many paths, trying to solve the problems of life, but they can't get anywhere, and they find another way out.Going back and forth comes from a powerful energy. To read a man's book is to see his doubts, the various tracks he has tried.For creators, individual confusion, exploration, self-contradiction, dilemma, but disobedient exploration.This is a kind of strength. Based on the general impetuous and inert mentality in consumption and experience of the times, no matter whether it is a novel or a movie, people can only get what they need from it.It is impossible for the work itself to be balanced and perfect, and there are always limitations and flaws.But the most important thing is whether people can make their own sincere and sensitive voice amidst the gaps and defects.And there are others, after all, who can penetrate these forms and hear the voice. When I was young, decadence was mere formality, superficial and groundless, but in essence it was just a delusion.Delusions will be resolved with time.In adulthood it is questioned with experience and practice, deep in the cold mud.There is no room for turning back except to try hard to break free. Adult panic.We have experienced and thought a lot, but we still have not found the answer and the way out as we were young.Or, still do not know what is the real final answer and way out. See the moon shining brightly at night.I really want to drive to the deep mountains in the night with one person at high speed, stop somewhere on the mountainside with verdant trees, stand on the edge of the cliff, and gaze at the bright moon against the hills together.Listening to the silence and the occasional chirping of insects, sharing a cigarette with each other in the bleak and cold north.Then drive away and return to the world.In fact, most of the good moments we have no one to share, no one to compare. Just decided to put on my sneakers and go for a walk in the garden by myself. The so-called expression means stripping the darkness from the light, and illuminating the light from the darkness.Compassionate from beauty to evil, and extract beauty from evil."Being" is derived from nothing, and then from being back to "nothing". (The ultimate goal of expression may be to become one, to lose the boundaries of opposites.) Sometimes I wonder if an enlightened person will eventually dissolve all expression.No writing, no writing.The inner feeling must not be expressed.But if not expressed, how to give.What he can absorb in this world can only be the part that others can understand.But if the other party can't bear it, it's just your own cycle.But independent circles may already be a simple and firm truth. When a person makes an expression, there should be no doubt about it.It is firm. The smell of autumn in the air.It was cold and bitter.Dali, Daocheng, Lhasa...the places that arrived in autumn are hidden in the inner package.In the autumn of reincarnation, I want to go to the dilapidated ancient capital and witness its prosperity in the past.This is also an important material that needs to be dealt with in the novel. A route that has been planned but not practiced is to spend a month browsing Shanxi and seeing its remaining old buildings.Through Shaanxi and Sichuan into Yunnan.From Lijiang to Xishuangbanna.Finally arrived at the beach in Bangkok.Take local transportation to search for remote and ancient villages and towns, grottoes, mountains, lakes, and gathering places of ethnic minorities.Supplement your clothing and food on the road.Stay in local houses, temples, hotels.Step out of a perfect vertical line on the map. Everyone should update a planned walking route from time to time.It's like planting a seed in your heart, watering it with time and thoughts, and gradually forming a fruit.The beginning is just a little preparation to buy a departure ticket. Certain journeys are predestined missions that take place under strict times and moods.Take a long-distance train, stay in a remote hotel late at night, eat in a small restaurant with dim lights, hike on the mountain road, and look at the plains and mountains in the foreign land in the hot and shaking carriage.every journey.Departure, trek, arrival, return.The ultimate goal is not to reach a certain place, but to gain insight and obtain a new self.This is what traveling means. Rosemary, lavender, jasmine, currant, milanum, honeysuckle, bergamot, osmanthus planted in the garden.All are fragrant flowers and plants.Flowers and plants without fragrance have no texture. This season, what fascinates people is the fragrance of sweet-scented osmanthus blowing on the face in the wind, falling asleep after reading in the cool night, and the vague thoughts in the heart.Autumn is here, and everything is just right. There is a saying that yoga teachers often say: do your limit at this moment.In fact, the limit can be continuously expanded, the premise is to make an attempt now.The suggestion of yoga is that people need to be stable, try their best, focus, be tenacious, and respond to and transform every moment of power they inspire.And get the source of self-balance within. Regardless of gender, I prefer people who are calm and precise in their speech.Usually people's language is procrastinated and logic is unclear, because there are too many excuses, lies, imprisonment, and vanity hidden in the background of communication.People who really know what they think and want can deal with the outside world concisely and frankly.They are swords in the sheath, they don't deliberately show their sharpness, but they can break the vines between themselves and others in an instant. Read the Bible, go for a walk.Sent and received a few text messages. Kyoto, an ancient capital that has stopped moving forward.I plan to arrange the important scenes of the last chapter here.A farewell in the dark.Drunkenness in a small restaurant, rain, night walks, old shops, temples in the night.Two strangers who have their own histories but can't tell them all.Meet by chance, leave without saying goodbye. The fate of the ancient capital can only exist in a stagnant manner.That year, I was in Kyoto with G, and she told me that the city seemed to be dead.In the night, the lanterns in the narrow alleys are on and off, and the buildings are low and old.And I feel at home physically and mentally in all the ancient capitals. Shakuhachi is an ancient musical instrument.The Tang Dynasty prospered, but the Song Dynasty declined.Mostly played by monks.Later, the monks who came to Japan learned it, and it has been passed down to this day.The style is simpler than that of Xiao, and the tone is bleak, and some ancient music scores are extremely diluted and low-key.Such an instrument is suitable for playing under the moonlit apricot tree.Or squat on the roof of the high courtyard in the courtyard and express your inner feelings to the mountains, rivers and heaven.But it still appears masculine and religious.The timbre is not for pleasing to the ear, it is better for adjusting the heart. Write shakuhachi in the novel, write an annihilated ancient capital.I realized that what I was writing was a novel with extremely closed attributes, like an adventure in the dark night set off alone.Since the first line of words is typed on the computer screen, it is like a source dug from the depths, bubbling out memories, thoughts, fantasies, and reflections, forming a closed circulatory system.After it was published as unscripted, it was out of my mind and body.For readers, what they receive can only be a closed loop system. This means that what they are facing is a completely finished product, and it is impossible to change it and conclude it with personal judgment.This finished product, or accept it with all your strength, or discard it as useless and boring.This is consistent with the relationship of love.We cannot influence and change anyone in a relationship.A correct relationship can only come from a peer. At the dinner table, I heard people chatting about Zhou Zuoren, saying that no matter how turbulent the outside world is, even if some people want to intentionally hurt themselves, they will not damage their life's works in the end.Yesterday, I watched Zhou's original manuscripts in the 1930s, and the warm and diluted atmosphere between the calligraphy and ink of the past returned.It really is a bygone era. "The boiled beans are lightly sprinkled with salt and eaten by others. Why do you have to ask for a big reward? I will repay me with a hundred beans in the next life, but I only hope that there is such a small amount of affection. When we meet, I will treat them well, and I will not come and go." The words are so warm and retreating that they can cover various positions.It makes people appreciate it. When you are tired from writing, read some real stories and reports on the Internet and chat to relax.Throughout these events, the various motivations displayed in the human heart are trying to find a universal law of things. (This seems to be one of the tools used by writers to collect and organize materials.) But if we observe evil from a small distance, the various origins are still ignorance and poverty in the heart.There is no grace, generosity, cleanliness, dignity.There is no balance, no transcendence. There needs to be compassion in love.It was originally a ship in the sea, tossed and bumped, precarious.Only with compassion can we become cloud shadows reflected in the sea, which are not related to the sea and yet merge into one.With compassion, love will be in the holistic concept of time and space.People will not be separated easily and blindly. Arguing with each other or trying to hurt yourself in the relationship, taking medicine, self-mutilation, all kinds of ways, not necessarily because of the other party, but using this as a mirror to clearly see that you don’t love yourself enough.Unable to love yourself, unable to give love, unable to receive love.This kind of lack and lack that is forced to be reflected is the greatest driving force for harm. Feelings are empty, the world is impermanent, who can be the salvation.Apart from believing in oneself, loving oneself, filling oneself up, and completing one's self, there is no other way to correct one's emotional model. Emotional difficulty does not lie in lack of love or lack of love.It's about loving someone, but having already understood all the diseases of oneself and the other person, which must be cured by retreating and leaving.Those beautiful and abundant energies are forced to forcibly control themselves. (How do people force themselves to take back love and stop loving when they are in love. This is the deepest torment.) Therefore, when you can still give with all your heart, when this giving can still flow, give as much as possible, Give completely.This is also the best way to let life flow naturally and liven up without complaint. There is nothing better than true love.There is no more pleasurable act than giving without asking.Simply share and give.Deliver beauty to him, not entrust to him. Our compassion for others is ultimately nothing more than giving to everyone who has appeared around us.Give them a little joy, a little truth and peace.To help, not to hurt.Whoever he is.No matter how long he's been around. The white porcelain cup is clean and simple, with a crack, which is very old.The utensils emit a faint breath, which makes people peaceful.It seems to have an infinitely extended and deep sense of time and space.A simple green pottery bowl, filled with clear water, put a few warm pebbles, and placed a few slender small flower branches.With it, the days are long and the nights are long. Even if the item is beautiful, it is best to be able to use it in daily life and be close to people's life.The beauty is well-fed and well-fed, and the mind is calm.Ordinary life is frugal, but you should be able to use handcrafted and exquisite utensils without restraint.This is the sympathy between heart and matter.Cherish things, cherish fate, a kind of affection. Zen Master Suzuki talked about eating and drinking in his lecture, "Even if you are eating certain foods with relish, your heart should have enough peace of mind to appreciate the hard work of preparing dishes, and making cups and plates, every piece of tableware The effort of the vessel. With a peaceful heart, we can appreciate the taste of each vegetable, one by one. We don't add too much seasoning, so we can enjoy the texture of each vegetable. That's how we cook food , how to taste them." Japanese food naturally has Zen in it.The taste is light, the raw materials are fresh and seasonal, and the portion is appropriate. Expect to focus and cherish. The plate conveys the simple and traditional beauty of the folk.At this time, eating is not simply to satisfy the appetite, but an overall activity.Body, spirit, mind, aesthetics, interaction. "Soup, rice, pickles, everything mixed together, this is the absolute world. As long as the rice, pickles, and soup are separated, they cannot be digested, and you cannot be nourished. It is like your wisdom Sexual understanding or book knowledge is kept separate from your real life... Caodong disciples are not attached to anything. We have full freedom of practice, freedom of expression. Our practice is a living expression of our true nature or reality. " Anyone can try to improve and adjust their life.Daily life, bit by bit, every word and deed, this is practice.There is no more direct path. In the system he tries to explain, the things spoken are extremely common: eating brown rice, tearing down the rain house, breathing, meditating, going to the toilet, pouring tea, opening the door, getting sick, looking for... also citing specific things: elephants, turtles, Bees, Frogs, Dragons, Movies, Pillows, Silk, Steel.A book for practitioners, trying to use Zen to save the anxious hearts of modern people who are dancing wildly in the boiling water.The Dharma is profound, tearing off a small corner, so that ordinary people can understand it. "But if your zazen doesn't inspire people and people, then maybe it's the wrong practice." Buddhism is above all a philosophy, a system that affects people's spiritual speculation.This Eastern Zen master, who has been active in the United States for many years, uses simple and direct language to explain complex and profound propositions to Westerners.Zen.Unfathomable, but also within reach, profound, and simple.The most basic function of this philosophical system is to let people discover the way of dealing with others, the way of dealing with things, the way of treating themselves, and helping and leading the people around them.Only in this way can it be possible to "make life a beautiful flower". "Someone pushes a chair across the tiled floor and doesn't pick it up," he said. "That's not the way to treat a chair well, not only does it bother the lay people downstairs who are prostrating, but it's basically not respectful of things." way... When we move the chairs carefully, one by one, without making a loud noise, then we will have a feeling in the dining room that we are practicing... When we practice in this way, we ourselves are Buddhas, and we Respect ourselves too. Paying attention to the chairs shows that our practice has gone beyond the meditation hall." At the end of each speech, the concluding words are the same: "Thank you very much." I love this state of mind. M asked me to read his handwritten long letter ten years ago.Feel him in the letter, so romantic, true, affectionate and sensitive.Such qualities seem to belong only to the night.He was sometimes forced to present parts of his life that were contrary to this. He still has a very special feeling for me.What kind of person is, others can feel it.Pretending doesn't work. In this era, interpersonal relationships are mostly driven by interests and goals, rather than the texture or nature of each other as the source of fun.This is what makes it so boring once you think about it.It is not easy to find someone who is happy to meet. I'm inclined to share, exchange, communicate, connect, but am inattentive and socially awkward.And never try to violate or force yourself.If the karma is ripe, people will meet no matter how far away they are.Should be together always will be together.Climbing is not advisable, but you should patiently cultivate and water the strong seeds in your heart so that they can blossom and bear fruit. In the end, it really didn't feel important.No need to entertain people for the pressure of survival, no need to entertain people for loneliness, no need to entertain people for inner panic.I just want to get close to others because of my love or joy. chat all afternoon.Two people make tea and drink.Drink more tea, but talk less. In the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, the character played by Brad Pitt, when he was born, was an old man with white hair and wrinkles.After getting old, he became a pure and naked baby.Who said that as we grow older, the more distant and early things in the past, the closer we will be.The memory returns to its original state.It's like a comeback. Children's park in childhood.A small island on the moon lake, the ground is pebbles and bluestone slabs, the history of the small bridge and the moon arch is a bit long.The area is small and shaded by trees.The planted oleanders and willows are very strong.The branches and leaves of the old trees all hang down to the lake.The lake water has always been green, a gloomy green in the shadows, and a clear green when the sun shines on it.The light and color of the lake water are always changing. A stone elephant with a long, straight trunk that is a slide.The elephant looks naive, with crooked eyes and a smile.Now such slides are no longer seen, most of them are geometric slides composed of chemical materials.There are small seats that can be rotated in a circle, and they are animal shapes carved out of wood, such as horses, rabbits, cows, roosters, bears, etc., with cute lines, pedals on both sides, and bibs on the seats.Children can choose their favorite animals, sit on them and let adults push them around. The toys at that time were generally simple and elegant in shape, strong in material, thoughtful in details, and elegant in color.In addition to providing functions, it also gives children space for aesthetics and imagination.I like to ride a stroller, a modest three-legged stroller that can be rented out for free rides.At that time, few people could buy strollers for their children.Riding a small car on the flower and grass path to do a trip around the island, the small island is already the end of the world. The sense of speed at which your foot moves the pedal to move the car is undeniably mesmerizing.The wind made noises in my ears, my body moved, and the shadows of the surrounding green trees and flowers were also shuttled.My father, who accompanied me, usually sits under the shadow of the trees by the lake at this time, reading and relaxing with a newspaper that he carries with him.He was a young, strong man then. This circular island in the middle of the lake has always been the most beautiful children's park in my heart. Dreaming of staying in a house in a strange place.I got up earlier than him and chatted with an old man.Looking up, I saw huge plaster statues outside the window binding and pulling each other, sliding slowly towards the sky in a diagonal direction. The sound of the piano has dispersed, and the strings are still vibrating slightly.Say goodbye now, when will we meet again. Walk late at night.The lights and shadows of the attic on the top of the mountain, the ripples of the river, are strangled everywhere and finally arrive at the road.Wisteria trellises, crabapple flowers, white bark pine, hydrangeas and daisies.Buddha statues, cigarettes, a bowl of noodles, a fountain.The structure of a room.Fall asleep and wake up again. Reminiscent of a child, holding a candle night tour.Wander in this world. not enough time.It can only be loving tenderly and truly, and being loved in the same way. All kinds of fights and calculations will be washed away by time.If the history of each other, the original intention of the relationship, everything is denied, then this relationship has nothing to gain.That's what's sad.After all, we still have to leave some good things to remember and be grateful for. Young love, poverty, simplicity.Bitter cold wind in the streets at midnight, dim lights.In a trance after coming out of the midnight movie theater, they held hands tightly and went to a small street shop to eat a bowl of steaming wontons.When crossing the road and waiting for the red light, he bowed his head down to kiss, the white breath in the air, the fragrance of oranges left on his lips... There is no desolation in the world at this moment, just because at this moment, we are devoted to each other with sincerity. When we act, the original intention is precious.A letter, a confession, a farewell, a sacrifice... They determine whether there will be room for remembrance at the end of the road.Total negation, trying to forget, is the damage.It is a failure to forget each other in pairs and leave nothing.This kind of destructive obliteration may affect the value of feelings later. Memory is the only thing that survives when we leave this world.Good things don't perish easily. In the present moment of life, to be loved and to love is something that can only be done by a soft, quiet, harmonious, full, abundant, and firm heart.This should be a thing that gets rid of the target.It is something that is only appreciated but not asked for or pursued. Finished in 2007, Yoji Yamada was 76 years old and Sayuri Yoshinaga was 62 years old.The beauty is late, her acting skills are still mediocre, her personality is meek, only her face is flawless.Her existence also shows that women should be gentle.It is a mistake for a woman to be not gentle, whether there is reason or not. The rich style of Japanese common people, the life of ordinary people, the world of ordinary people, is fiddled with by the times, involuntarily, but there is an aesthetic feeling of perseverance, warmth, heartiness and self-esteem.This is the traditional Japanese style in Yoji Yamada's films. Children's flower heads, round collar shirts, small floral dresses, light blue sweaters and bright red scarves, summer plantains, sunflowers, watermelons, and paper fans at the doorstep.Cherry blossom petals blowing into the window in spring.Heavy snow in winter, red leaves in autumn, and distinct seasons throughout the year.A warm egg just laid by a hen.The full moon seen when going out to see off guests.Cake for hospitality.It looks friendly in the movie, and it is also like my childhood in the southern hometown in my impression.This atmosphere has completely disappeared now.In the movie, everything is connected.They still cherish it with nostalgia. Industrious, restrained, sometimes resolute and stubborn.The expression of emotion has a reserved and clumsy side, so it appears comical.This is Japanese humor, blunt and not witty, but simple and slightly naive. The supporting actors are all brilliant.My uncle from Nara, a fat man who looks a bit like a Zen monk, speaks rudely, directly, and has a personality that can be called crazy.He said on the train, I am the one who does nothing for this country.He said that a person came into this world to have fun and make a lot of money.He said that he might go to Mount Yoshino to seek death when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. Yoji Yamada embodies a kind of dignified civilian nature and the preciousness of national character in the film.China's Xie Jin is also this type, but I always feel that he has not received more recognition.Since then, some bluffing directors who have tried their best to lure the audience to the cinema have acted on the spot, and the audience has let them be led, waiting to be pleased.It also represents a character. Heavy rain at dusk.At half past six, G came to the house as a guest.Use the oven for dessert and leave a bowl for her.She said her mother used to do the same thing, making snacks for her children.She brought traditional Japanese toys, children's and Japanese robes. In the kitchen she could be heard talking to the child cautiously.Treat children like adults. Thinking of the Japanese observations written by Europeans, they were surprised that Japanese children wore the same clothes as adults.But it's good that children try to live on an equal footing with adults from an early age.Their children have more fun and have their own rituals and festivals.China has abandoned those things that belonged to it.When I was young, I remembered that my mother was at least seriously living every traditional festival.When I was an adult, the holidays of this society were often treated carelessly and roughly. Eat and drink sake.Drink Fujian rock tea.She has a lot to say, rich in topics, work, creation, literature, men and women, children, new works of Japanese writers.Chatted until 11:30 in the middle of the night, and sent her downstairs to take a taxi home.On the way back, the air was cool and humid, smelling of mud and vegetation. A person who can communicate smoothly in a second language is actually opening a channel.There should be time to learn the language.And learn a traditional Chinese musical instrument. When I was in Japan, I had dinner with G until late at night.It had just rained, cold and damp.After drinking, my chest and cheeks are warm.Say goodbye to the clerk, lift the curtain, and step onto the stone path.The lights on the main road are just beginning, and the crowd is surging.Lanterns, umbrellas, flagstones, billboards, and farewell sounds in the alley.I don't know where it is at the moment. I took a picture of the door sign at the end of the alley in the rain, which said Pontocho.This will remind me of the time to drink with the people I met on the streets of exotic countries amidst the rainy neon lights in the future. Watch Spanish flamenco dancing at the Poly Theater.The night show at 7:30, row 10.This dance is rational, tough, uninhibited and restrained.The singing is hoarse and pathetic. There is a kind of honey sage sugar produced in Germany in the supermarket, which has a strong vanilla smell and will chew out thick and soft honey.I have never liked candy snacks, but I like the formula and packaging of this candy.The vibrant yellow carton is painted with comic-style purple sage and honey.Bought a pack and ate very little, just put it in the drawer of my desk.Also feel happy. The car drove through the empty slopes in the suburbs, the trees were stripped of their leaves, and there were mountain shadows in the distance.If a person has written a lot of words and walked a lot of roads in his life, perhaps what he is trying to achieve in the end is to reach a reconciliation with himself. "Once the book is written, the memory will be extinguished; the book is like an ever-burning lamp, emitting light in the vast night... The words fall into the abyss." After reading a book, the author committed suicide when he was young. In "The Myth of Freedom", Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche mentioned the situation of Zen practitioners, "The situation is extremely desolate, like living on a snow-covered mountaintop, surrounded by clouds and mists, and the sun and moon shine mercilessly. Then, below are towering pine forests shaken by howling winds, and below are thundering waterfalls... Ultimate abstinence becomes part of your nature, and we discover how the various things in samsara feed and entertain us. Once we Seeing through reincarnation that everything is a game, you have already escaped the attachment of duality, and that is Nirvana.” Two days of mail back and forth, selection of pictures, has not gone downstairs.After work, I went downstairs to buy desserts at a coffee shop near my home.When I go out, I feel like jumping into the sea, the air is cold and clear.Drink hot matcha in the store.Walk through the garden. The cough persisted for more than half a month.To calm down.Let the restless lungs calm down, the heart, body, thoughts, emotions... calm down one by one.Let life fall into a kind of silence and retreat for a while. The only solution is to fight fire with fire.Bad things, let it rot completely.Good stuff, let it release to the fullest.What's the use of worrying, hesitating, hesitating, holding back.Let all be exhausted, burn to the full, and leave nothing behind.This is the Zen attitude towards life. Take the onslaught of all positive or negative energies head on.Like a tidal wave rushing towards one's body, knowing full well that the storm is coming, one does not turn around to avoid it.Close your eyes, hold your breath, and bear it all. For some things, just cover your eyes with a velvet cloth.If not allowed, accept the truth naked.Bite and crumble.Digest them one by one. Sometimes straight up.Sometimes it's just to close your eyes and pretend to dance in an illusion. Live in a suburban house.Go out for a walk at dusk and spread food for the stray cats.The subtle sky at the junction of night and night, the grass and trees breathing gently in the twilight, the spicy fragrance, the moisture of the soil, the singing of night birds, the flowers that close their petals and prepare to rest...these things are in this way, in an indisputable gap and pause.This existence inspires me.These moments have the meaning of the moment. When I was young, I saw many adults around me, working day and night upside down, struggling to make money, throwing myself away from the outside world physically and mentally, ignoring family building and maintenance, and lacking the development and attention to the inner value of the individual.I feel that the world is barren and people's hearts are absurd.Where can a person's sense of security and presence come from? People need to face life.But the way of thinking cannot be monopolized by material existence such as food, clothing, housing, transportation, and money exchanges, and it cannot be regarded as the most important value.一旦我们的骨血全部用以灌输于俗世的目的，如果有灵魂存在，它如何回归，如何超越，如何找到它的道路……这最终会成为余生最大的障碍和困惑。 宇宙结构不可被猜度识破，生命结构也自带任务。如果我们局限它的存在，其实是在贬低生命的等级。 今天尝试把两摊内容缝合起来。关于这条缝合线，想了很久。大概列出提纲。明天继续。 往上的每一个台阶都会挑战身心。超越重力和习性。 战战兢兢是深渊，优雅洒落是自忘。 特性强烈的人最后会让对方害怕。大多数日常的人需要理性的庸常和安全。但表达中最具摧毁力的，也正是对方所具备的特性，即他所存在的方式。这种光芒即使在结束之后，也会令人怀念。特质无法被替代。 平静，达观，开阔，释然，这是做人的态度，但并非艺术的力量。真正带来震动的艺术，总是与人灵魂深处的痛苦和起伏相关。与深深的执念相关。 寂灭也许导致人失去艺术性的表达，也可能带来更为奇观的突破性的方式。 美好的事物需要付出代价，有时回避它是大部分人所认为理性的选择。避免付出，避免失败，避免折损，避免受伤。只要得到安全，得到进入人群熙攘的游乐场的通行证。 在这个时代，人不可能试图用回避或远离来获取与恶之间的距离。只能是安然接纳，正面接受袭击。敞开身心，让它穿透而去。又该如何不为所动。全然解缚，心无旁骛，悠游自在，如此这般，与这个世间尽兴嬉耍一番。 有时无话可说，有时一言难尽。有时是多余和无关的。有时是准确和必要的。 “心灵上梯己的爱—珍爱另一人独特的美并对之回应，同时对方也对我们独特的美做出回应—这是世上少有的喜悦。”（John Welwood） 这对他来说未必是一种损失。如果它不是他的目标。如果他从来不曾相信过它的存在。 独自走路。无人问候的城市。没有朋友，没有相熟的人。冷空气充足的房间，远眺山影和大桥的露台。喝茶，在房间里入眠。穿越地铁站的通道、民居和花园，窄而有坡度的道路。喝早茶的老人，孩子，男人，夫妇。集市里新鲜的鱼和蔬菜。豆浆店。日期一改再改的电影票。超市里买的白葡萄酒。深夜独自走过的路。晚上十点多的超市，一瓶鲜榨胡萝卜汁，四个柠檬，一瓶蜂蜜汁。 书城里购买繁体字版本的纳博科夫自传，《说吧，记忆》。说吧，记忆。在广场里抽一根烟。 午后下起一场暴雨。短暂地睡过去，又醒来。栖居于此。 唯独幸福徒有虚名。 一盏茶，一支烟，并肩静静观望庭院里芳香的桂花树。午后一场暴雨突袭，瞬间山清水远。只有被苦痛和动荡赐予过丰厚礼物的人，才能够懂得和留住只争朝夕的欢愉，才能够理解感情之中纯朴和深远的所在。 能进入人内心的作品一般都是个体化的存在，它们诉说私密的语言，没有口号和野心。也有脱离社会主流的边缘化倾向。美好的感觉来自于，这个电影仿佛试图说明，即便是内心再孤僻的人，也能够在世间得到一个适宜的伴侣。 遇见他或她，与之相伴。彼此温柔相爱的力量，将给予无法做出选择的生命一次宽宏的机会。 女人的红色连衣裙。钢琴音乐。镜头里的情绪。男人的英俊和缓慢。敞开衬衣领子站在花园里的年老的同性恋父亲。电影Beginners。 超市里一男一女结伴，在购物架前认真而轻声地长时间研究，不过决定购买哪支牙刷。他们也许是相爱的伴侣，共同安稳生活。一起在超市买菜，看电影，餐厅吃饭，旅行，做饭，养孩子……禁得起身心在相处中的彼此消磨。耐心、信任、付出、友情，这些转化在最后能够替代日渐衰减的激情。 那些漫不经心不被仔细关照的关系，仿佛彼此一生足够长，长得没有尽头，绰绰有余一般地浪费着，停滞着。事实上我们的生命短暂，每一个火焰都需让它簇簇燃烧起来，燃烧充分，展示出纯度。只是关系需要对方的配合。对方如果无法应和和映衬，就只能是手中的一截断裂的风筝线。不如放弃。 时间的长度是有美感的，因为里面蕴含长久的投入和相信。这是一种相互成全。外界浮躁和变动退却之后，依然保持这情感的平衡和强壮，这是一种优美。 如果一个男子，习惯在睡前或醒来即刻打开电视收看新闻或体育节目。哪怕只有一刻空闲，也需要打开iPad寻找各式娱乐。这样的人，在彼此的关系里，能够提供的也只是乐趣或资讯，快速而肤泛的内容。深度的关系，需要与孤独、沉默、空白、停顿……一切深邃之物建立起通道。需要承担和探索。 只有对方能够容纳寂静，才能够容纳关系之中神秘莫测的深度，容纳全然的对方。 太多人，热衷夸夸其谈，脑子极为聪明和现实，思维活跃不定，情感和心灵则干涸匮乏如同沙地。人性里欠缺宽厚和高旷，实际和圆滑却太多。这种聪明并不带给人暖意。没有呼吸，没有生长。 我总是更为喜欢温柔而敏感的人。愿意手写书信，烹煮食物，种植花草，欣赏一事一物。心存热情与活力。享受情感又高于情感。只有爬上过成功的巅峰，才能懂得稍稍退后一步的余地。略带隐世倾向，不沉溺于物质和科技，个性质朴平静。 一个伴侣，是否具备心灵上的不俗的空间感，是否具备柔软开放的心性。这两点无疑极为重要。其次才是他的外表、阶层、身份……此类形式和面目。如此，你才有可能在他的身心之中收获到丰饶和充沛。 发生之前，是一个等待着的人。发生之后，依旧是一个等待着的人。 如果曾经为别人做过什么，不要事后提醒对方记得你的付出。如果别人曾经出于信任对你分享过他的软弱，不要事后以此攻击对方以证明自身强大。这均是高贵举动。 停止责备，要求。融入到各种性质的状态之中，对一切有当下的投入但并不粘滞与留恋。人的生命应随着前行渐入佳境，更从容，更明白。正视自己的生活。曾经想要的，想实现的，想完成的，最终它都会给你。这是你与它之间一直在保持的一种诚实的关系。 不必执着于一意一念。不必追究和计较。时间在不断冲刷浮皮潦草的碎屑和泡沫，使之被卷走、漂远，最终把真正重要和不可替代的部分留下。一些人，一些事，一种情怀，成为心中一座高耸的暗绿山脉。蜿蜒，沉静。不可言说，无需示明。 清理、过滤、观察、选择每一刻自我的念头和意识，是一项巨大工作。如同走过高处的钢索，小心翼翼，摸索前行。保持平衡是一种优雅。三十岁一过，眼睛亮了。幻术破灭，再不用虚妄欺瞒自己。 人生露出真相。接受残缺，半途而废，不可完尽。接受变化和结果。 相信任何事物将以它的本来面目抵达最终路途，不会更多，也不会更少。 人越年长，越喜爱质朴而笃实的感情。每一段关系，需要给予它们应得的部分，让它们在你的身上找到礼物。这是中肯而朴素的道理。 我想和你一起生活。（茨维塔耶娃的一首诗歌名。） M带我去他的朋友家。我见过那男子一面，记得他住在村里，租一块地，盖起房子。也不是经常在那里，有时在国外。屋子设计简易，如同一个方正的白色盒子。没有多余装饰，水泥地，白墙面，灯具很少，也无地毯、壁纸，家具也稀少。大客厅是落座的地方。面积很大，也是全无修饰。 他的家，玄关处有几尊石头佛像。一道曲折回廊，围住露天小花园。园中两棵干枯的桂花树。废弃的古式木椅。岩石。摆满一盆盆开过花期的绿色兰草。桌子上也有一盆兰花。他说，这盆是珍藏的兰花品种，叫宋梅。香气若有若无，时停时歇，需要追踪寻觅，越是这样难以把握的避世的芬芳，越是可贵。自在而倨傲的品格，绝非为愉悦别人而撩拨。这才是兰花真正的个性。 随意撂叠的厚本杂志，书籍，漆器，匣子，青花小碗，梅瓶，石雕佛像，毛笔，拓本，案石，浮世绘，书法，日本铁壶，古董相机……杂乱交错，全无章法。放在茶几上的一把古琴，丝弦断尽。两枝干枯的莲藕，线条简练。临窗木凳上，有一些形状支离的木块，也许有地理或时间上的记忆。两只佛手，干涸缩小，置于角落。细小的白瓷碎片堆陈在地上，极为细腻优美的花纹。物质携带不易被察觉的微小折损和创口。 沙发边铺了一张小床，素色被单掀开，也许午睡小憩所用。桌上有零食，柜子里多瓶葡萄酒。刚刚旅行回来，皮箱在地上翻开着，露出还未拾掇的衣物、书籍、邮递品。 客厅尽头墙壁前立着一张条案，满是小物，排列一道丝绣屏风，共有四扇，绘有梅花，水仙，紫藤，铃兰，牡丹，鸢尾，鹦鹉，黄鹂，仙鹤种种。刺绣技法先不细究，配色严谨细密，不过是单一的灰白色调，却是深浅不一的灰和白层层递进。夹杂灰紫，灰褐，灰黑等丝线点缀。 喝茶，看绣，看字，看画，谈论琐事。听他说起在美国租车赶赴一处城镇，在洋人家里淘古老拓本。各自嗑着取在手心中的一小撮瓜子。暮色渐渐深浓，不知不觉，与夜色交替渗透。由落地玻璃内望出去，露天花园的干枯花木一一遁隐于夜色之中。时间流逝得丝丝分明，井然有序。偶尔，我悄悄转头，探望那道屏风，觉得它总在对我发出声音。是一种应合。 男子烧水泡茶，简易的滤茶器，没有讲究茶具。随便取来两只玻璃杯，倒了茶水。他见我凝望屏风良久，轻声问，你也喜欢刺绣吗。起身过去，颇为费力地从大堆杂物中，小心搬出一幅来，放于桌上，让我在灯光下细看。这老物，是他在上世纪八十年代末在地摊上偶然相逢，五百块钱淘下。原本应该有十二幅，是十二个月份不同时令花草和禽鸟。最后仅留存下四幅，保存也算完好洁净。 又拿出一幅小楷字画，让我们观赏。说上面的字，艺术家一般也就只写七八个，然后第二天继续，这样日积月累，完成一个作品，每天磨出来的墨还需相同，否则字迹色调会变化。又要一口气始终屏住，作品才有一以贯之的气韵。这小楷字体似采纳了众人之长，又带有独自的气韵，看起来拙朴洒落。 人若在一个时间段里，能平心静气，创作完这样一个作品，本身也是福气。这画面上的神采如同被凝固截流，丝丝不差，抚人心扉。 入夜，起身告辞。偌大房间里，桌子上面一盏灯开着，角落里都是暗暝。去洗手间，看到一双运动鞋踢在墙角，灰尘扑扑。盥洗池台面上余留未及时清理的剃须，木凳上堆满书刊。喝一杯热茶，阅读，入睡。并在睡前仔细回想这令人内心爱慕并余留清欢的四幅屏风。这一天即过尽。 一日凌晨五点，他发条短信给我，上面显示的是我的名字。仿佛午夜梦回之际一声轻轻的叫唤。我没有回复。彼此仍旧音讯全无。 再次来到一座岛屿。海水带来某种隔绝的安全感。醒来时窗外的青色山脉。海鲜夜排档。每天晚上喝些烧酒至微醺。成为一个骨骼稍有些坚硬懂得沉默滋味的成年人。时间是精确的过滤器。 试图费力推翻头顶的海水，现在缓慢沉沦在一条大河之中，跟随它走过千丘万壑。风景看完，已不知何时与自己道了再见。 “你曾经一味凭蛮力乱走，任黑暗撕扯。多投入宗教，升华自己，难道不也是一种退而求其次的选择……”L的信。 一次又一次的浪头。保持不动，让冲击过去。在不可能更糟糕的前提下，只能慢慢地好起来。要学会等待，保持信任。事物有时貌似是一个障碍，但最终是一个礼物。 晴耕，雨读。观鱼，栽花。点香，喝茶。抚琴，小憩。 毛笔上的小句。一心通神。 即便转道去了另一个方向也没有什么遗憾。人应该可以在任何地方生长。 翻斗乐。在海洋球里，她独自走向远处，没有畏惧犹豫，神情坦然。旁边一个三岁的男孩，在爷爷奶奶的鼓励下，仍不敢向前。她站在高台上，以优美的姿势跳跃而下。观望她，使我对她有了新的了解。她有一种骄傲，关注微小细节，极为敏感。我默默跟随在她旁边。看她旁若无人。 有夫妻两人带孩子来。也有爷爷奶奶或外公外婆带着来。也有母亲和女儿带着孩子来。观察他们，是一种乐趣。不同的性情影响着各自的孩子。他们的神情，对孩子来说很重要。 一个半小时后，她疲倦。去三里屯吃饭。点了沙拉、田螺、橙汁、蔬菜煲和米饭。去超市买日本大麦茶。在出租车上入睡。 在古都寺庙，瞻仰一尊千年银杏木刻佛像。壮美温润，没有被洪水或战火毁灭。抵抗住屡次崩塌。那也许因为它足够强大。铁塔阶梯窄小，渐渐觉得心肺略有压力，眼睛微微昏动，却在石梯的尽头突兀看见前方雕刻一尊小小青石佛像。微光中与之照面的瞬间，仿佛遭遇自身隐藏的真性真情，此刻交会不可闪躲。只有铮铮发声的灵之碰触。 写作，尝试用一个虚拟的故事，寻觅和接近对从未得到过的精神故乡的想象。这样的实践注定是牺牲。这些文字，是当面撕扯一段锦帛的裂响。也是独对幽谷发出的回响。 Lonely.我们最常想起和谈论的话题，无法用语言和文字表达精确的话题。它是血肉中深深彼此镶嵌的一枚黑暗核心。如何与它共存。除了承认它，接受它，别无他法。要能够容纳它的洞穿。这强大的同盟和敌人。 在孤独中接受洗礼的人，知道他自己在承受什么。 我知道问题是什么，同时也知道，它们无法通过敞开或讨论得到解决。只有时间才能带来可能性……不要试图让我写信谈论自己，即便我知道你是善意。写作是危险的事情，它是悬崖边上的幻术。人试图寻找得到强烈的生命存在感，最后却要通过识破和消灭它才能踏上归途。 命运给了你特别的安排，让你穿越过树影如牢狱的山谷，跋涉过深而远的路径，临渊而立，看到天际不可言说的光亮。它想让你可以讲故事给别人听。也许这就是任务。 相看两不厌。海棠花满月门的架子床。 你怎能够预知自己与它邂逅，只不过恰好经过时，它突如其来在头顶之上爆发。 下午去Y的家里。木地板，白墙，白麻布窗帘，素木家具。定做的书架很实用。一个静谧的书房。家里最重要的是个人性收集的物品。这是确定一个家的氛围的基调。她的厨房摆满瓶瓶罐罐。卧室里有一个旧坛子。整面墙壁的白色衣橱。 送了一盒淡墨樱给她，她很喜悦。给予人的并非只是物质本身，有美和情感在其中。 喜欢去人的家里做客。比起餐厅之类的环境，坐在别人家里的客厅，很舒服，角角落落有属于对方的个性和气息。感觉彼此很近。在家里招待客人，让他们住上几天，或者去别人家里住上几天。睡不同人家里的床，吃他们提供的食物。都是有意思的事情。 年轻母亲穿桃红色上衣，黑色短裤，有一种优雅和顽劣的结合体。她的孩子两岁左右，是个健壮的男孩。我想这个男孩应该会很容易爱上他的母亲。 在书店看到《与神对话》，翻了几页后买下。此书据说连续占据《纽约时报》畅销书排行榜一百三十七周。但一个人决定是否要阅读一本书，与其如何畅销没有关系。重要的是在最初翻动的四五页里，有无迅速达成某种共识。 不知道它在中国会销售如何。此类关于灵性追求的书籍，需要社会的人群在内心真正生起困境和需求，才会进行渗透。但现今中国社会的价值观仍以物质追求为信念，人们关心赚钱、娱乐、消费、名利甚于关心自己的心灵。混乱嘈杂的生活，是否有空间容纳下这场你问我答。 若大众的兴趣点聚焦在低级层面，此类书很容易被当作成功指南，而被忽略它高级的价值。书腰上一串影视明星的广告显得多余。事实上，这类书应是提供路径让读者与上升的哲学意识产生联接。它代表心灵的开放性和探索的限度。 不世俗，没有野心，不哗众取宠，也不内在封闭。只有抵达过极限和高峰的人才能够做到。山下的人不行。 做了一个梦。他也在。天下起雨，我说外面肯定没有晒衣服。走过去一看，阳台外晾晒了很多衣服，且已全都被淋湿了。 入睡前，在暗中，有时会感觉到一种内心深沉的平静。如同感应到一种联接。进入一座隐藏羊齿和清泉的山谷。得到一个拥抱。许下一句承诺。完成必会被照看和实现的祷告。 母亲。你有很多旧而美的棉布衫。你蹲下身迎接我进入你的怀抱。你在我睡着时抚摸我的手和脚。你有时眼含泪光。你有时微笑。你教我背古诗，你在睡觉前给我唱歌。你凝望我的眼睛。say you Love Me.你有时不知所踪。你又回来。你背着我在雨中的花园徜徉。你的眼神孤单。你在月光下踱步。你在午后微风里，摘下一朵盛开的月季，郑重地递于我的手上。你让我嗅闻花瓣的芳香。你亲吻我的头发。你在老去。 师父说香枝燃烧成一截灰，只为了拥有一段过程散发出自己的香味。这是牺牲和承诺的象征。 玄关用沉香，书房用白檀。也用藏香和印度香。在京都买的各式香纷纷都送了人，留下一盒藤袴，气味浑厚幽然，略带辛辣。偏爱这种有重量感的香味。是一种紫色草花，又叫兰草。（中国名字也许是泽兰。）香味有一种刚烈气质。 幼小的孩童站在浓密树影下，抱着小猫或者在巷子的一角午睡。明亮的眼睛里，有一种容易破碎的困惑。他们在嬉戏和时间的河流中漂浮，生长。他们是成年人内心一些小小的影子。我不记得自己拥有过这样好看的图片，撕下心爱的几张，随手贴在墙壁上。 晚上去药房买藏红花，步行前往。整段路程来回大概两个小时。穿了布鞋，走速很快，天空月朗星稀，空气凉爽。走过一座路面开阔的大桥，感觉到大风在耳边呼呼作响。桥下是大片旷野。 喜欢这样的走路。觉得生活也该保持这样用力而没有迟疑畏缩的前行速度。 他写来的信。“有使命的人会受到庇佑，路会越来越宽。” 当真正的时刻来临，人从未有机会获得一丝犹豫。 每一个写作人会遇到的考验是，除了虚构或记录他人的故事，自身所遭遇的那些离奇而复杂的事，最终是否具有勇气把它们一一写出。 一些事物在脱去光彩外衣之后，陡然冒出污浊而膨胀的现实。人所依存的爱与望可否经受住人性的质疑和考验。这是重复的经验。 你爱过的那些人，在起初貌似完美无缺。当他们逐渐四分五裂变成一堆碎片，你是否仍能用掌心托起和保存。你爱的是他人的属性，还是他们的面具和形式。 普通的日常男女的爱，大多都是变相的索取。占有、支配、操纵、填塞。奥修说，一旦有了性，爱就不见了。真正的爱，只能来源于自身的平衡和浑然一体，即我们体内的男性和女性彼此和谐及融合。这句话值得仔细回想。 下午咖啡店和M见面。他说现在每天在家为比他年长十岁的女朋友做菜，红烧桂鱼做得不错。我说我将出发再去欧洲。一个小时后告辞，他去睡觉。 我与她走到夜色花园的一处荒废的平台，她轻轻欢呼，我们上船了。我说，这船开往哪里。她说，去杭州。这是我带她去旅行过的城市。she remembers. 早上给她穿上熨平的整洁衣服，梳头，带上手工缝的布包，水壶。牵着她的手，送她去大门外面等车。她紧紧抱着一只绒布老虎。芳香美丽的小人。 下午