Chapter 5 postscript

I often struggle with things called people.When writing first-person novels, I often hesitate to use "servant" or "I" or "self" (the above three personal pronouns all mean "I" in Japanese) and have to stop writing.In addition, I feel that it is too naive to call myself "servant", so when should I use the more masculine "I" to call myself?How much influence does personal pronoun have when one knows "self"? The articles included in this book are the diaries I wrote down on the Internet before, and the characteristic is that more than half of them use the personal name "Xiaosheng" to describe the articles, but I usually don't call myself "Xiaosheng". Use "servant" when referring to yourself. The term "Xiaosheng" is not suitable for everyday life.

Having said that, the reason why I use the personal name "Xiaosheng" to write a diary is because I feel that living with a name that is far from myself may create another personality different from myself.Just like Dr. Frankenstein (the professor of biology in the novel by the British writer Mary Shelley) created human beings out of dead bodies, I also want to use the title "Xiaosheng" to create a "not-me diary" that only exists on the record. hand". Half of this approach was an experiment with fun, and the result happened as I expected.When I wrote my diary with the name "Xiaosheng", "Xiaosheng" seemed to be no longer just a person, and seemed to have the role of "Xiaosheng"; "Xiaosheng" was subtly different from the characters in the novel. It is a fictional character who acts in the story, but "Xiaosheng" is a fictional writer who records the diary.Although I am not me, a certain person without the name "Xiaosheng" was born.

Readers who mistook this book full of jerry-built materials for Yiyi's diary and unfortunately finished it may be confused after reading this preface.I want to make it clear first that I cannot be equated with "Xiaosheng".I did write down my own experience and thoughts in the diary, but it also mixed with the opinions, actions, past, views, etc. of the non-my character "Xiaosheng". At first I thought it was fun, but the diaries I wrote under the title of "Xiaosheng" all turned into funny bragging stories. But I don't know when I started to regret it. I really shouldn't write a diary under the title of "Xiaosheng".This kind of mentality is the same as Dr. Frankenstein, who created the monster, asked himself what he did after the experiment. Inadvertently creating an existence without a name will be condemned by God.

The reason for regret lies in the reader's reaction.Readers of online diaries certainly don't know where to distinguish me from "Xiaosheng".After reading the diary, readers seem to have the impression that "Yi = Xiaosheng is a strange person".At first I thought it was kind of funny.But after discovering that I and the "Xiaosheng" were treated equally, I began to feel bored. "Wait, I'm not a weird person! Although it's a bit similar to a diary, there are still subtle differences!" I really want to get this out of the way.It's capricious.In short, I don't know how to deal with the "niche".In the end I had to give it up and stop writing a diary.

In this way, Huandong released such a book. "Xiaosheng" must be able to ascend to heaven and become a Buddha because of this.