I used to be a very inferior and innocent girl with a childhood shadow that could not be bleached.I am angry, manic, and extreme.In my sophomore year, I had to drop out of school to become a wandering singer, but if I couldn't do it, I wanted to be a wandering singer's lover. Thinking about it now, I really have no friends. It's hard to imagine that such a me will become a sweet person in the eyes of others.It is undeniable that the merits of Zhiqing are indispensable.He is so kind to me. Perhaps, there is a pattern of love that is like this.You passed through my world, set up a mirror for me, let me see another self.At the time, I was ignorant and insensitive to the pain of change, and it took me a long time to realize, ah, there can still be such a life form, and it already belongs to me.

If you knew my past, you would forgive me now.If it wasn't for being with Zhiqing, I wouldn't be what I am today. It was an early autumn.In the summer homecoming army, we met.This isn't any particularly romantic plot.Because I was thinking about running away and not going to school, I booked the ticket late, and when I was forced by my family to take me to the train, I only had a ticket without a seat in my hand.The kitten who was walking with me asked me to squeeze with her.Squeeze, squeeze, and wake up a sleeping boy in the seat. He is a very ordinary boy, wearing glasses, not handsome, and not hot at all.He pushed his glasses to look at us, a little expressionless.

I stood up, "Forget it, I won't sit, you sit by yourself." Kitten is an enthusiastic person, "Oh, I can sit and sit. Classmate, I'm sorry, I woke you up." I felt his lips move, but said nothing.I don't know why, but I thought he was so gentle at that moment.At that time, we didn't understand that all the beautiful gatherings in this world are counted in seconds.Looking back now, probably from that moment on, there was a clear countdown between Zhiqing and me, tick tock tick tock. Later, the three of us started playing poker and drinking beer.The card is brought by the kitten, and the beer is bought by Zhiqing.The few ham sausages that my grandma stuffed into my bag were appetizers.In short, it was very noisy in the car, and we contributed a part of it.Whoever loses drinks.In the end, I passed out in my seat.

When I woke up, the journey was half over.The kitten was sleeping soundly on my lap.That man, he was standing by, with his arms propped on the back of the chair, taking a hard, sweet nap. He stood there for so long. I pushed him, and he woke up suddenly, looking very ignorant, a little touching. I said, "You come with me." I took him to the end of the carriage, where there was a smoking area.After we smoked together, I coughed, and a thought suddenly came out of my mouth like this, "You, do you want to be my boyfriend?" It seems that it was just a matter of thought, hooking up with a little boy.Since I can't be a wandering singer and his lover, then I must have a relationship with someone.

As long as you can see it, you can be with anyone. People suffer from lazy cancer, but they can be impatient.The way I can't wait, probably frightened Zhiqing.He started to push the glasses again and said, "I'll think about it." I smiled and went back to my seat first.The kitten is still sleeping.The clear and white light in the early morning shines on the sleeping faces of different shapes and dreams in a car, and I feel that I seem to have woken up someone.Is it Eros? After a long, long time, I have to be thankful that although he was a random prey, he is really the best person.

Fifteen minutes later, he came back and told me, "I agree." "Agreed to what?" the awakened kitten rubbed its eyes and asked.After understanding, she said, "Fuck." He is a year younger than me, and the school is 15 minutes away from my school by bus.It takes forty-five minutes to walk.It takes thirty minutes to ride a bicycle.It was Wuhan in 2007, and bus drivers all dreamed of high-speed rail to catch up with the wind. We date every day.Zhiqing is an enviable boyfriend. When he has no class in the morning, he will wait for me downstairs with breakfast, and stand at the newsstand to read the full version of the content.

I don't go to class much anymore.I'm too lazy to go, and I won't listen when I go.I major in tourism management, and I think it is a very bad and ambiguous major.If I look for a job by major, after graduation, I will either go to a hotel as a receptionist, or go to a travel agency to take a day trip with a small flag.And the unspoken rules in the industry are already well-known scandals, and tour guides and "liars" are unfortunately tied together. The study life is almost at a standstill, and all the time is used for love. When Zhiqing was in class, I went to him.Not far from his school is Chongwen Book City.I often stay all day.I read a lot of romance novels at that time.In the aimless reading day after day, I seem to see other possibilities.

Then one day, I told Zhiqing, "I want to write a novel." Zhiqing nodded, twirled my long hair around her fingertips and let go, "Well, I support you." Once again I woke up my roommate by talking in my sleep and shouting. After being called crazy, I decided to move out of the dormitory. Zhiqing helped me rent a place in the middle of our school.At that time, many Wuhan people who had self-built houses near the school began to "plant houses".Generally, there are 4 to 5 floors, and each floor is divided into 5 to 6 rooms. There are toilets, kitchen utensils, beds, and tables. They are rented to students at a low price.

This is what Zhiqing rented for me.As soon as I opened the door and walked in, I was extremely satisfied. We spent all day furnishing that room.We bought wardrobes, folding dining tables, beanbags, an old desktop computer and computer desk and chairs at a flea market. We rented a "numb" (tricycle), which cost 15 damao (yuan), and it took two trips to get it done. In the evening, we ate shredded pork with sweet potato powder at the stall downstairs, and then went home together.Everything was tidied up, and we lay in bed together quietly waiting for each other to kiss ourselves first.Love makes boys timid and girls bold.

I dominated our first kiss, which happened two months after we met.After the lips and teeth intertwined, I really understood the meaning of love. All the foreshadowing in front is to wait for this moment. Kissing must be a human talent.Even if there is no skill, jerky and discomfort, I still want to keep kissing.Because it seems to be a ritual, sacred, expected, witnessed, and deeply remembered by past, present and future me. After that, we started living together.Zhiqing was very greedy for the days when she was with me in the small room.Especially after physical delivery.Unspeakable secret pleasures deepen our attachment to each other.And, facing each other again, it seems that the pores have been opened up a lot.

He is nicer to me.Buy a whole set of sanmao and give it to me.When my laziness deepened and I didn't want to read, he would read to me.The story of the Sahara is mysterious and loving.He said he wanted to be my Jose.As for me, I can be anyone I want. On those few days of each month, when the boiled ginger and brown sugar water is fed to my mouth; when I am afraid that I will wait and run to me; when I buy something and give it to me because I like it casually; When my hands come home after a day's journey and I wash my feet, the moment is eternity. So, even if we didn't say any words of love and liking between us, those are more moving expressions than words. After three months together, I forgot the tramp singer and his lover to the Pacific. Countless times, he listened attentively when I shared my rambling thoughts.He never laughed at me.He always said: "Okay, I will accompany you." "Okay, I believe in you." "Okay, it will definitely happen." That's it, Zhiqing used his almost dull kindness to pull me who was lying on the ground quietly without knowing it.I sat up, I stood up, I began to look into the distance, and hoped that I could see the dawn. Kittens come occasionally.We ate together, played cards, posted notes when we lost, and drank 3.50 snow beer.Later she brought her boyfriend together, and the four of us played mahjong. I borrowed mahjong from the landlord, spread the sheets on the folding dining table, and didn't want to stop after a dozen. Kitty told her boyfriend that Zhiqing was the boyfriend I picked up.Her boyfriend's eyes lit up after hearing this, "Really? If I was the one who met you that day, the story would be different." I didn't say anything, and when the kitten kicked him, it hit my knee under the table. It seems that when I was with Zhiqing early, I could not stand up to scrutiny in the eyes of others.It's like we've improvised a stage and performed hard love on the stage.But the stage will be dismantled at any time, and the actors will remove their makeup at any time. In 2009, I graduated.Housing prices in Wuhan rose from 2000 in 2004 to 7000.Oh yes, before this, my mother forced me to take the postgraduate entrance examination of this school.I refused.Then compromise, like every time we argue.Having a strong mother has made my little white rabbit's heart cold under the surface. I listened to the lectures at Wuhan University for nearly a year, borrowed a lot of notes, and prepared to take the postgraduate entrance examination for publishing and distribution here.The faces of several professors in my memory have been blurred, but what is clear is that in the cold morning Zhiqing sat on a stone chair with a roasted sweet potato in his pocket and waited for me to finish class.In the last row of the lecture hall when the cherry blossoms are flying, I wrote a few words with a ballpoint pen: "Fantasy always forgives disillusionment, but disillusionment never lets go of illusion." Afterwards, the results came out, which were appalling. My family asked me to go home to take the public examination, but I didn't want to, so I stopped asking my family for money, and my living expenses were cut off.I started writing novels, writing magazines.Those were the best years for magazine publishing, but in the first few months, I basically relied on Zhiqing to support me. He still needs to rent a house, and he has to pay for it himself.We had a handful of white noodles with Laoganma for several weeks. It was a period of burning youth.Depression, rebellious psychology, embarrassment of lack of money, and passion for writing burned me like fire. Zhiqing said that it was the best time for me. He watched my back grow wings and fluttered. More and more able to fly.He was a little scared, and he still held my hand tightly when he fell asleep. But he was not afraid, saying that when we have money, you can go to any school you want to study publishing, and you can go to the United States. Later, I realized that my little boy is so simple and kind.He thought that even if we are pushed far away by time, our hearts will still be as close, intertwined and entangled as our fingers are now. Kitten once said to me that my love point is too low, otherwise I wouldn’t just hook up with a boyfriend on the train and stay together for so long. She also once said that Zhiqing was too angry, and Yu Qiaoqiao smiled at him, and he lost all anger. The kitten was a little sour when he said this.She broke up with the boy who played mahjong together.She said: "At first I thought he was quite human, but after comparing with Zhou Zhiqing of your family, I thought he was not as good as a dog." "Did you propose to break up?" "He mentioned it." The kitten began to cry, "He still chased me away. Yu Qiaoqiao, since I squeezed you a boyfriend on the train, can you let me squeeze you here? ?” The kitten stayed.It was 2011, and Zhiqing and I had just moved into a two-bedroom apartment bought with a loan. Kittens live for three months.During the day, Zhiqing went to work, and I stayed at home with the kitten, I wrote manuscripts, and she looked for a job.In the evening, the kitten cooks some meals, or we go out to eat together, and then come back from a stroll.It was a quiet and happy time.There are lovers and friends by my side, a soul burning with dreams, and no shortage of money. In that perfect midsummer, there was a tree in front of the window where we lived, and we could hear cicadas calling every day.I remember that I also wrote a novel called "Seventeen Years Cicada", which tells the story of a boy who fell in love with a girl for a long time, but only stayed with her for a short period of time before unfortunately passing away. I still remember that the kitten liked it very much, and when he read it softly, his voice choked up. I still remember that Zhiqing was sitting on the sofa across from me, looking at me intently, his eyes adoring me as always. On July 20, Zhiqing went to Beijing for a business trip.Kitty and I sent him to a taxi, and I asked him to watch the flag raising for me, and Kitty asked for the A product in Xiushui Street. Zhi Qing gave me a superficial kiss before leaving, "I'll be back on the 26th." He said. Those few days seemed to be the same as other times, except that the weather was hotter. On July 23, I went back to my alma mater with the kitten, and watched a movie for three yuan a movie.We got back very late.After chatting about gossip for a while, the kitten told me to be nice to Zhiqing, otherwise she would snatch it away.We bickered and laughed, unaware of any misfortune approaching. Kitty checked Weibo as usual before going to bed, and then she rushed into my room and asked me in a trembling voice: "Can you call Zhiqing? I did, but I couldn't get through." News of the 7.23 high-speed train accident was overwhelming Weibo.I said, kitty, why are you so nervous? You didn’t return to Wuhan until the 26th of Qing Dynasty.And how could he take this train? "I helped him book a ticket back to Fuzhou online, D301." The kitten cried, "I encouraged him to go back. July 24th is your mother's birthday. You and your mother have a bad relationship. He went to Say happy birthday to you, and propose marriage..." I once asked Zhiqing, why did she treat me so well? Isn't it a bit frivolous to fall in love with the boy I met for the first time on the train? Zhiqing said: "You know, the first time I saw you, you talked in your sleep when you fell asleep. You said: 'It hurts, don't hit me.' At that time, my heart beat a few times. Suddenly I felt like you If such a girl becomes my girlfriend, I will give you everything and do my best. Later, you actually came to ask me to be your boyfriend. I think the god of love must have heard my heartfelt voice. " My relationship with my mother is not very good.I have a younger brother.My family is very patriarchal.Because of my younger brother, I was beaten a lot.The worst time my mother beat me was when my younger brother was still young, and I stole Hans brand chocolate pudding brought back from abroad that could only be enjoyed by my younger brother alone. Yes, my mom broke a feather duster just for a piece of chocolate pudding. As I said before, I am irritable, irritable, prone to extremes, and always groaning.It used to be Zhiqing who smoothed my anger and hair, and now it is up again.After losing Zhiqing, I also broke up with the kitten.Once, by accident, I met Kitty's ex-boyfriend outside.I went up without saying a word, just a few slaps in the face. Later, he called the police.When I was sitting in the detention room, I was full of thoughts. If it wasn’t because he broke up with the kitten, the kitten would not live in my house, would not interfere with my life, and would not go to Zhiqing on its own. Book that train ticket.I won't lose him either. I can't forgive.Whether it's for my mom, the kitten, her ex-boyfriend, or myself. until today. For a while, visions would appear before my eyes. Zhiqing was mopping the floor, tidying the room, cooking in the kitchen, and watching the football game with his feet crossed. I called him: "Husband, husband, I want to drink water." He smiled and said to me: "Qiaoqiao, I'm thirsty and I have to pour myself water, I'm not here anymore." Fantasy always forgives disillusionment, but disillusionment never lets go of fantasy. He is an angel sent by God of Love to pass through my life.After dancing with me, leave. The farther away he is, the more I love him. Later, I got a new boyfriend, just like Zhiqing, wearing glasses, stupid and kind. I love my new boyfriend the way he loves me.It is my best memorial to him to live as pure as possible. Thirst can only be quenched by pretending to be water. Only by pretending to be the light does it seem that you are not afraid of the dark. Only pretending to be you can seem to feel you. Time is like a trestle bridge, and we spend the rest of our lives together.