Chapter 23 self-help

In the film "Frida", which was filmed on the life of the Mexican female painter Frida, I ignored those affairs that were the backbone of the film-her lifelong love with the painter Rivera, and the love for Trotsky's kindness. Love that is close to worship (the biography can provide more love affairs or sexual affairs that make her be regarded as a slut), and also ignores her most proud moment-wearing a gorgeous dress, lying on a stretcher and appearing in her art exhibition At the scene, I just stared at the scenes of her painting, and my fingers were about to dig into the armrest of the chair.

When she was 18 years old, she was involved in a car accident, which broke her spine, collarbone, and ribs, shattered her pelvis, and fractured her right leg in eleven places. Since then, her illness has become a sharp sword hanging over her head, calling her back to receive medical attention from time to time. Police, she experienced about 30 operations in her life, until she passed away in 1954, she was always troubled by pain, she has been painting with pain, lying down, painting half sideways, lying on her stomach, hanging the frame above her head Draw on it, in various poses that will ease the pain a little.

The same feeling also happened when Ye Fan passed away. I stared closely at the words in the news: "During her hospitalization, she went to Macau, Guangxi and other places to perform six or seven times. The last time was in Shijiazhuang on November 11. At that time, she had a high fever of 40 degrees Celsius, but she insisted on completing the last performance in her life." "She had a high fever before the performance. We used alcohol to force her fever down before going on stage, but she still sang a song in its entirety, and then The fever was so bad that his condition became critical."

It has spread to the liver, lungs, bones, and lumbar spine. Even with the injection of pethidine, the pain is maddening, but she still has to dress up, put on an evening dress and go on stage to sing in the northern November weather.What would ordinary people think?Unreasonable?Striving to be a model for spring silkworms to die? Is it okay to not draw or sing?No, they cannot live without painting and singing.Life is so short and life is so mediocre, if you finally find a way to break through, you must hold on tight.It is impossible to reverse the disease, and the end of life is far away. This body can neither turn into a pale blue mountain, nor can weeping can arouse the chorus of Songtao. On the bed, the sound of time passing by is so shocking.Creation is the only way to save yourself.Even the almost manic sex that happened to Frida.

It’s as if Van Gogh had to paint. In the year before his death, one work a day. Musicians in the period of tuberculosis must write. The closer the death is, the faster the burning. The total number of works in three to five years exceeds that of later generations of music. What the family has done for half their lives.It's like, Edith Piaf must sing, she said "If I don't sing, I can't live", and after knowing that there is something wrong with my body, I must hurry up and start touring, it's like, Lu Yao must write with black blood, and if he doesn't write, he will not be able to live even more.It’s like, my cousin must struggle to stand on the podium to give lectures at the end of cancer—he has a name that once shocked China, Jiang Jiaoying (a model teacher in Gansu, who went to class with illness, and was exhausted on the podium).

If you hadn't been there, you would have regarded it as an unreasonable and hard-working gesture.But only when you are in it, you will know that making the remaining time as rich as possible and making the density of life as dense as possible is the only way to save yourself, the only way to fight against the ultimate problem of life, "the meaning of life", and to offset the vastness of life. The only way the universe itself feels so small. Xi Murong wrote that she asked others how to make the flowers bloom more luxuriantly, and the answer she got was: "Chop a few knives on the roots, and then sprinkle a few handfuls of salt on the wounds." She did this, and the flowers bloomed that summer. It's almost crazy.When any species encounters a crisis, the only thing it can do is to reproduce as much as possible, and try its best to blossom and bear fruit.To fight against ice and snow, use flowers, to fight against lava with knives and axes, use flowers, to fight against time, use flowers.At this moment, the only thing that can be done is to blossom and bear fruit.Although they told me that the universe is born and died in a cyclical cycle, leaving no traces, and all the beauty is a waste.

I really want to thank the sky, fortunately, we still have such a way to save ourselves.Just like the story Youcenar wrote in "Oriental Stories Collection" - "The Way of Wang and Fo's Life", the painter Wang Fo, when he was about to be beheaded by the emperor, began to paint the sea and rode a leaf The flat boat departs calmly from the painted blue sea. That is the life-saving way in mythology and reality, but it is also a more mysterious way for human beings to save themselves.Even the only way to save yourself.