Chapter 16 Chapter Fourteen How to Speak in Interviews

Visiting as a guest is a common form of communication in daily life, and it is also an effective way to connect feelings and enhance friendship. When visiting as a guest, choose a time that is convenient for the other party.Generally, it can be done in the afternoon of the holiday or after the usual dinner, and it is necessary to avoid visiting at the time of eating and resting.Before the visit, you should inform as much as possible in advance and make an appointment to avoid missing out or disrupting the other party's schedule.After the appointed time, you can't easily miss the appointment or be late.If you are unable to go due to special circumstances, you must try to inform the other party and apologize.

When visiting, you should gently knock on the door or ring the doorbell, and you can only enter when someone answers to allow you to enter or come out to greet you.Knocking on the door should not be too heavy or too urgent, generally two or three taps are enough.Do not enter without greeting. Even if the door is open, knock on the door or notify the host in other ways that a visitor is coming. After entering the door, the coat, rain gear and other items brought by the visitor should be placed in the place designated by the owner, and should not be placed randomly.For people in the room, whether you know them or not, you should take the initiative to say hello.If you bring children or others, introduce the owner and teach the child what to call.When the host brings tea, he should bow from his seat, hold it with both hands, and express his thanks.Smokers should only smoke after the owner presents the cigarette or obtains the owner's consent.When talking with the owner, you should pay attention to mastering the time.When you have to discuss or ask the owner for important matters, you should express your intention as soon as possible, and don't waste time by rambling.

When leaving, take the initiative to say goodbye. If the host goes out to see you off, the visitor should ask the host to stay and thank you, and say "goodbye" warmly. When you arrive at the door of your relatives and friends, you should knock on the door lightly or press the doorbell briefly.Even if the door is open, you should politely ask, "Are you home?" or "Is there anyone in the room?" Don't rush in. After meeting with the host, greet immediately, and then follow the host into the room. If you are a first-time visitor, you can generally say hello with such words: "Ah! I have always wanted to visit, and today I finally got my wish!" When visiting each other's homes, you can also casually say: "Oh, so you live here!"

If you are a revisiter, you don’t need to be very polite to say hello. Generally, you only need to simply say “I haven’t seen you for a long time”, or say “We meet again, how time flies. Last time I came , was it a month ago?" If you are close, you can make a joke, which can not only show your sense of humor, but also adjust the atmosphere: "I'm here again to bother you, you won't hate it!" Most of the return visits are out of etiquette or thanks, and this feature should be considered when saying hello.Usually you can say something like this: "Last time, I thanked you for taking a trip, and I came to thank you today." "You just left last time, and I thought, no matter what, I will come to the house and thank you again!"

Generally speaking, initial visits and return visits are highly purposeful, and most of them are ceremonial or transactional interviews.In contrast, although revisiting cannot be aimless (such as connecting feelings, exchanging information, etc.), it is more random.Therefore, the entry words for initial visits, revisits, and return visits must also be considered from the aspects of etiquette, transactionality, and casualness. Most of the ceremonial interviews are related to condolences, congratulations, and rewards, and the entry words are often related to the contents of the condolences, congratulations, and rewards, such as: "I have never had a chance to visit the door, and I wish you a happy new year today" ( First visit), or "Long time no see, I would like to take advantage of your appointment to congratulate my old friend" (revisit), "Last time my father passed away, and I was troubled by your long journey to come here. Come and see you" (return visit).

If you are going for a transactional interview, the entry language should consider a little more from the purpose of this interview.For example: "Xiao Fang, I have nothing to go to the Three Treasures Hall, please help me!" Or "Xiao Zhou, I have a clue about what you want me to do." Pay more attention to etiquette, and the words "asking for others" or "asking for others" need not be too humble, nor arrogant. Random interviews are generally unrestrained, and the relationship between the two parties is relatively close, so the door talk is optional, and you can say whatever you want.One thing that needs to be considered is whether to say what you want to say outside the door, or inside the house.

"It's such a joy to have friends coming from afar." As the interviewee, the host should warmly respond to the visitor's entry words, or express condolences and thanks.For example, you can say something like: "I've been wanting to chat with you at home, please come in!" "I'm lazy too, I haven't been to your place for a long time." "Oh, I was interrupted last time, I also asked you to make another trip and tell me how to thank you." Greetings are the entertainment language used by both parties to talk about family affairs when they meet in interpersonal communication. It should not be a hypocritical politeness, nor a flattery that threatens shoulders and flattery; sincere concern.Therefore, the following questions should be paid attention to in the greetings after the two parties sit down during the interview:

The content of greetings is often cold or warm weather, busy work, good or bad studies, physical health, friends' past, relatives' past and present, etc.However, you have to be selective about what to talk about during greetings.Both sides of the interview should be good at selecting topics that both parties are interested in or have clear feelings from close points.For example, if the weather is extremely cold, you can start talking about the low temperature; if the other party has won an award recently, you can start talking about work or study; , ear music, etc., can cause greetings.

The so-called "establishing a mentality of identity" means that both parties need to find more common languages ​​in order to achieve psychological closeness and convergence.In this way, greetings are a bridge that can promote the whole visit.See the example below: A: Did you draw this picture yourself?Really nice drawing! B: You're too much for the prize. I just studied in an amateur art school for a few days. A: You also went to an amateur art school? B: What?Listen to the tone, you are not a layman? A: I learned painting from Mr. X at the Lu Xun Amateur Art School. B: Really?Great, we are all students of Mr. ×!

This paragraph of greetings, not many words, the most important thing is to seek common ground, which suddenly shortened the psychological gap between the two parties and brought them closer emotionally, thus making the greetings an effective means for further talks between the two parties. Creating a harmonious atmosphere is the purpose of greetings.If the interview lacks a harmonious atmosphere, it will not be a successful interview, and it can even be said that it has lost its value.Therefore, when exchanging greetings, the language of both parties should be sincere and not disgusting; it should be frank and not hesitant; it should be natural and not ostentatious.In particular, we must sincerely pay attention to the other person's suffering and happiness, worry about what others are anxious about, think about what others think, love what others love, and express our true feelings in corresponding words.In this way, it is possible to create a more and more speculative harmonious atmosphere.

There is no big difference between interviews and ordinary conversations.Due to the miniaturization of modern families, in addition to group interviews, interviews often become heart-to-heart talks between two or three people, especially random interviews.However, if the interview site is the interviewee's family, you, as the interviewer, should "watch out".Don't say anything that the interviewee doesn't want to talk about in front of the family, especially if it may embarrass or make the interviewee's family worry or suspicious.When you have to speak, you should also look for the opportunity, pay attention to the volume, or speak alone when the host sees off the guests.If you ask for something, try to bring the topic to a topic similar to what you are asking for when exchanging greetings.In this way, with the flow of the boat, the request can be made quite naturally.If the relationship between the two parties is close, and asking for help is like asking for yourself, then you don't need to exchange pleasantries.In other words, greetings and interviews in this situation are often combined into one.Of course, one should not talk unscrupulously and disregard the effect because of the close relationship. As for ceremonial interviews, although the purpose of the interview is clear, the topics of the interview are often like a dragon and a bird, without knowing what to do.However, you still have to try your best to "tighten the question", that is, tie it closely with the purpose of the interview, so as not to give the interviewee a bad impression, as if the interviewer's visit is completely perfunctory. The farewell words should correspond to the entrance words; the second is to express gratitude and ask the host to "stay"; the third is to consider inviting the other party to come to your home as a guest.For example, you can say: "This is my first visit today, thank you very much for taking so much time for me!" Sit at my house!" What needs to be noted here is that the invitation to the other party should not be forced, and it should not contain the meaning of blaming the other party for not coming to visit yourself, such as "I always come to your place, when will you come to my house?" This is not a bosom friend Don't say it, so as not to give people the impression of "being wronged". If it is a business interview, you may wish to point again when you say goodbye: "I will leave this matter to you, thank you very much!" If it is a ceremonial interview, don't forget to express your congratulations or thanks again.Such as: "Goodbye, I wish you spread your wings and fly high in college!" As for the host, he should also thank the visitor for his visit and sincerely invite the guest to come again next time. Finally, a word of caution about interviews: If you are an uninvited guest as a last resort, you should say: "I'm so sorry, I ran here without saying hello" as soon as we meet; The language and tone of conversation during the interview should take into account the other party's seniority, status, etc., depending on the relationship between them; When visiting and meeting, if there are guests at home that the visitor does not know, the host should introduce them to the visitor; Visitors should not neglect to properly talk to relatives of the owner; If it is a group interview, don't rush to speak alone, let everyone have a chance to speak; Don’t forget to thank the interviewee for offering tea and cigarettes. If you want to smoke, say: "Excuse me, can I smoke?" When encountering other visitors, you should "leave the former to the next" and say: "Let's talk, I'll go first."