Toko Kinouchi began to feel some abnormalities before and after menstruation, which was at the beginning of June three months ago.In the past, Dongzi was roughly once every 28 days, which was very regular. The menstrual period was also 4 days, and it ended in 5 days at most.Two or three days ago, I felt weakness in the waist and pain in the molars, but it didn't affect my work.This situation does not change from 20 to 28 years old. However, in the past two or three months, menstruation has extended from one week to ten days, and there is still a dull pain around the waist. At first I thought it might be due to excessive fatigue, but I didn't pay much attention to it, but it was still a little bit next month. It didn't get better, not only that, but the pain seemed to get worse as the time went on.

The menstruation that started in early September lasted for 10 days, and Dongzi had to rest for a day.What's going on?It is also inconvenient to ask others.Is it due to overwork?However, work has not been particularly busy recently.For the past year, Fuyuko has been leaving Sangongqiao's home at around ten o'clock in the morning to go to the store where she stayed overnight.The store is in front of Meiji Street in Omotesando, just a 5-minute walk from Harajuku Station.If you take the Oda Express Line from Sangong Bridge to Yoyogi Hachiman, and then take the subway to the second station, you can get there in 20 minutes.

Fuyuko's store is on the first floor of a four-story building. There is a room wide at the entrance, but it is narrow and slender. Among them, there is only Liuping in the front with a counter for a hat shop, and Siping inside is used as a studio. Make hats.The store name "Crowhue" is derived from the name of a hat with a short round brim. Fuyuko arrived at the store at 10:30, and the helper clerk and the female student who graduated from the hat-making academy also arrived at about the same time.Open the door when you arrive.Check the counter, it's almost 11 o'clock when the shop actually opens.It was almost noon when Harajuku Street became lively, so it was a good time to open the door at this time.From 11 o'clock to 8 o'clock, the store door is always open, but there are really many customers, only in the evening. In winter, although the number of individuals ordering hats increases, it does not need to stay overnight.

At the beginning of September, after a day's rest, Dongzi decided to go to the hospital for a check-up. Although it was just a prolongation of menstruation, she always felt uneasy if it continued like this.According to Mingyou's mother, when menstruation is irregular and suspicious, if you go to the hospital to see if it is uterine cancer, it will be too late. How can you get that kind of disease before the age of 30?But in case of emergency, which hospital should I go to?Dongzi thought.The first thing that comes to mind is Meiji Clinic on the west side of Meiji Street in Yoyogi.Dongzi once underwent an abortion there.

Dongzi suppressed some boredom and found the diary from two years ago.Two years ago, under the column of September 20th, it said "Meiji Clinic", and under the phone number, there was only a line "meeting with K", and I didn't remember it for the next three days.Those three days were the time when Toko was sleeping in bed, thinking about breaking up with Kishi. I broke up with Ichiro Kishi one month later in October.The breakup was proposed by Dongzi.Guizhi is a man with a wife and children, and there is a 14-year age difference between the two, which is not normal in society.

While thinking about the tragic ending that will come sooner or later, Dongzi recalls that four years have passed since she graduated from university at the age of 22.In the fourth year, pregnancy and abortion occurred, and the idea of ​​breaking up with Guizhi came to mind. It can also be said that the plight of abortion finally made Dongzi decide to break up and decided her path of celibacy. However, before making up his mind, Dongzi was quite painful.I couldn't eat for a long time, and my weight dropped to only 80 catties.As she said goodbye to Kishi, she yelled, swore, and finally slapped him.Breaking up is almost like death, Dongzi even thought of committing suicide.

How can it be so crazy?It's unbelievable to think about it now, and I don't believe that I would be so angry and sad.If you can break up calmly and calmly now, you will never cause him trouble.The situation of the other party can be considered with some magnanimity, perhaps because of the passage of two years. However, the relationship between Toko and Takashi did not break because of this. Takashi is an architect and has an office in Sanda. When he broke up with Toko, he asked: "Do you want anything?" "I don't need anything." .” Dongzi flatly refused.However, the workshop for producing hats opened in Aoyama a year ago was funded by Kishi.So Dongzi said again: "The workshop will be returned to you as usual."

"I have no intention of taking it back." The Qingshan apartment where the two lived was purchased for about 12 million yuan, of which 8 million yuan was provided by Guizhi. "It's my loan from you, and I will return it as scheduled." "So, what to do after the order?" "Go to work in a new place." When she was in college, Dongzi went to the hat-making college by the way, and now hat-making has become her major without knowing it. As long as she has the technology of hat-making, life will not be difficult. "Do not force." "Not reluctantly."

Dongzi is just trying to be brave in front of Takashi.In fact, she really didn't want to work in a department store or someone else's workshop. After repeated consideration, he finally decided to sell Qingshan's apartment, plus all his savings and a bank loan of 5 million yuan, and bought a license to open a new store in Harajuku. The price of apartments had risen in four years, and the savings had exceeded two million. My parents ran a small trading warehouse in Yokohama. If I asked them for help, I might lend some money.But after Dongzi lived with Guizhi, it was like running away from home, and she had no face to go back.

In any case, she doesn't want to continue living in Aoyama, which evokes memories of Kishi. "I will definitely return your money to you, so please lend me less now." "Still saying that." "No, I have to pay it back." Facing Dongzi's stubbornness, Guizhi couldn't help but smile and said, "You are such a stubborn woman." In this way, the reward of four years of love can be said to be a new store in Harajuku.Dongzi didn't understand whether the price was high or low.From the age of 22 to 26 is the time when a woman is full of flowers. As the price of dedicating these beautiful years, it may be a low point, but living with the person I love for four years, from this kind of satisfaction Sensationally, it may be too high.Anyway, Dongzi can now end everything with Takashi.

However, in fact, moving from Aoyama to Harajuku and opening a new store, I still had Guizhi's support in terms of capital. Without Feizhi, there would be no Dongzi now. The name Meiji Clinic is associated with Takashi and his memories. If you go there, you will wake up the bitter memories of the past. It was Kishi who decided to go to that hospital two years ago.The director of the hospital is a fat man in his 40s, with a beard around his mouth. He looks a little scary at first glance, but when he speaks, his voice is extremely soft.Dongzi took out the letter of introduction from Guizhi's friend, and the dean took a look at Dongzi and the letter of introduction together, and nodded to accept it. Since then, two years have passed.Now that I go again suddenly, I don’t know if the dean still remembers me. Although it is an abortion, but there are many operations a day, maybe I can’t remember it.Otherwise, ask Guizhi again?Dongzi thought hesitantly. After breaking up two years ago, Dongzi only met when Guizhi sent her flowers on the day the store opened.Because they were crowded among many guests, there was no time to elaborate, but the attitude of the two remained the same as before.Guizhi was still so careless, slovenly as an architect, and only said "persevere".Dongzi suppressed the momentary yearning, and said "thank you".After that, although we talked on the phone several times, it was always Kishi who called.As soon as Dongzi answered, Guizhi would say, "How is it?" "Barely dealt with." "Really? That's fine." Then I talked for five or six minutes about the weather, the new job, etc., and hung up the phone.At first, Dongzi wanted to stop this kind of phone call, but when she heard Takashi's voice, that feeling disappeared, even though the calls were all indifferent business questions and answers.But it still made her feel at ease.The phone call is about once a month, but sometimes, Dongzi will look forward to a call from Guizhi. In this way, nearly two years have passed. Now, if I call him, I will destroy the state where I have been passively answering the phone in the past, and disturb the restrained and quiet relationship.However, I was calling purely for medical treatment, and even though we broke up, the relationship between friends has not changed, so it should be no problem for me to call him. Thinking of this, Dongzi picked up the phone.The number I used to call every day, after two years, slowly woke up from the depths of my memory. Just to introduce a hospital... Dongzi found an excuse for herself, but forgot that it was a secret that was related to menstruation and could not be told to others. Although it was past noon, Takashi was still in the office. "What's going on?" Guizhi was surprised by the suddenness of the incident, but his voice was the same. "Please introduce Yoyogi Hospital, which I have been to before." Fuyuko said in a calm tone. "What happened to you?" "It's nothing special, it's just a little problem." Dongzi stared at the distance from the glass phone booth, and Omotesando was crowded with old people walking leisurely. "Is it urgent?" "It's not that urgent, but..." "I'm going to Osaka today, and I'll be back the day after tomorrow, so it's not too late." "It doesn't matter." "Then, wait for me for two or three days." Guizhi is a person who doesn't like to be verbose.Dongzi was relieved to hear this answer, but still felt a little lost. "please." Fuyuko walked out of the phone booth and walked back to the store along the shade of trees beside Omotesand Road. There are two customers in the store, one seems to be passing by, and the other is Mrs. Zhongshan.The lady has been a customer of Fuyuko for several years, and her home is near Harajuku, so the lady often comes to the store.The wife is over 40 years old, with a long face and a very suitable hat. "I heard it's already done." "Sorry, I went out just now." Dongzi hurriedly took out the hat made by his wife from the studio.This is a Kangkang hat made of straw, with a square top, a flat brim, and a fine wreath inside. The curls are dignified and luxurious. "It's really good." Madam put on her hat, looked in the mirror back and forth, "how is it, isn't it too young?" "Because the flowers are small, they are very beautiful." "That's more appropriate." Madam seemed to understand, and kept nodding her head in agreement. "That's great, the hat has finally caught up." "What time?" "On the afternoon of the 22nd!" The wife's husband is a professor in the Department of Engineering of T University. He attended an international conference held in Kyoto at the end of September. The wife ordered a hat for the banquet. "Hey, what about a cup of coffee?" Madam said as she put the hat on the counter. As long as she came to the hat shop at this time, Madam would definitely invite Dongzi to drink coffee.The wife has only one son, who has already attended high school, so naturally she has leisure time.On the other hand, Dongzi is quite busy, and sometimes he doesn't want to go out, but he can't refuse Dunke's invitation. The two came to a teahouse called "Mimosa" in front of the hat shop. There were five waiters here, all young men, and the lady seemed to like it very much. "Miss Dongzi, your complexion is a bit ugly." "Really?" Dongzi quietly covered her face with her hands.My period just ended two days ago, and my waist still feels lazy and weak. "Such a thin body, it can't be too much." "It's not too much, it's okay." Madame nodded, then stirred the coffee and said: "Last time, I met Mr. Kishi." Kishi and his wife's husband, Professor Zhongshan, are friends. "At a party at the Oakland Hotel, he was surrounded by women..." Before the wife finished speaking, she suddenly noticed Dongzi's displeasure, and said hastily, "I'm sorry." The wife knew about the relationship between Dongzi and Takashi. "Hasn't Kishi come to the store recently?" "No, not once..." "What a busy man, I heard you're going to Europe again?" "yes?" "According to my husband, it seems to be around September or October." Dongzi hadn't heard about it yet, and even if he went, it had nothing to do with Dongzi. "Good man, 42 years old is still in the prime of life." 42 is Kishi's age.The wife is one year younger at 41 years old, and she is still very delicate and charming. "Recently, Mr. Guizhi didn't invite you to dinner?" "Yeah." Dongzi nodded while feeling a dull pain from her lower abdomen to her waist. I received the letter of introduction from Kishi three days later in the evening. Just after 5 o'clock, the street was bustling with people getting off work.At this moment, a young man of twenty-seven or eight came into the store.Just keep coming. "Is it Miss Kinouchi?" After Dongzi answered, he immediately took out a white envelope from his suit pocket. "This is given to you by the director, please accept it." The name of Takashi Design Office was printed on the envelope, and Takashi wrote softly on the cover, "Ms. Kinouchi Fuyuko." "Thank you so much for sending it to me. Are you working in your institute?" "Yes, my name is Funatsu." The young man saluted slightly and took out his business card.The business card reads "Engineer Kaisuke Funatsu".The working unit is Guizhi Design Office. "Is it Mr. Kaisuke?" "Because the surname is related to Hai, the first name is also called Hai." "Is it your father's name?" "Of course, I don't know." Funatsu replied solemnly.Then the subject changed: "About the hospital, the hospital you knew before doesn't go now, I heard it's another hospital." "Another hospital?" Dongzi glanced inside the envelope.The envelope was unsealed and contained only a business card. "Has Mr. Kishi come back from Osaka?" Toko asked without looking at the business card in the envelope. "I originally said I would come back today, but because he took a detour to Kyoto, I came back alone." "So you went too?" "Yes, Mr. Kishi said, if you need anything, call the hotel in Kyoto at night." "understood." "Then, I'll take my leave." The young man took a deep breath, turned and walked towards the street shrouded in Yemi. As Funatsu said, Takashi's letter of introduction was not from Yoyogi Hospital, which he had been to before, but from the Chief Physician of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Mejiro Metropolitan Hospital.Takashi seems to be looking for connections in Osaka.Next to the business card of Dr. Yamauchi in Osaka, it was written in curt handwriting: "Miss Fuyuki Kinouchi is my acquaintance, and I hope to be taken care of by your excellent medical skills." Dongzi hesitated looking at the letter of introduction.She didn't particularly miss Yoyogi Hospital, but for some reason, she always felt that she didn't want to go to a new hospital.It doesn’t matter if it’s a common cold or a minor injury, because it’s related to menstruation. It’s a bit scary to go to an unfamiliar hospital, and Mejiro is a little farther away. It takes about ten minutes to take the Yamanote Line from Harajuku, but there is no one on that street. walk by.The hospital introduced was a public hospital, which also worried her.Although it is better to treat illnesses in large hospitals, but what I have to cherish is only the prolongation of menstruation, and it seems that there is no need to go to large hospitals.Go to Yoyogi Hospital first, and then go to Mejiro if you have any questions. The next day, Toko left Sangongbashi's house at nine o'clock to go to Yoyogi Hospital.It was already 9:30 when we arrived at the hospital.In the waiting room, there were already two people waiting.Dongzi tried to avoid meeting them face to face, sitting at one end of the bench, waiting for the doctor to call her. The name of the hospital remains the same, but I heard that the director has changed.The waiting room and registration room are still the same as before, and the signs of the delivery room and operating room hanging side by side in the corridor are also the same as before. The two women who came first may have simply checked and it was over, and within 5 minutes they called Dongzi. The nurse led Dongzi into the outpatient room.Indoors, the doctor is sitting at a large table in the front, reading medical records.When he came two years ago, it was a fat doctor with a beard. This time, it was a tall young doctor. "Been here before?" The doctor asked looking at the medical records. "Two years ago, I had an abortion here." At this time, Dongzi wanted to say that it was introduced by Nomi, but she gave up that idea.In fact, Dongzi doesn't know exactly whether the introducer is called Nomi.Guizhi may know, but Dongzi has never seen him. "Is it protracted menstruation?" Dongzi nodded, and told him about the weakness of the waist before and after menstruation, and the slight pain in the lower abdomen. "Is it like this until early summer?" "No other changes." "Are you alone?" "yes." There are columns such as "married, unmarried, childbearing, spouse's age" in the medical records, and the doctor quickly circled "○" on those columns. "Well, check it out." The doctor stood up, and the nurse pointed to the examination table with a white curtain on the right and said, "Please." "Please take off your underwear here, and then go up." The nurse has a round face, and seems to be only twenty-two or three years old. Two years ago, when she was pregnant with Takashi's child, when she went to the examination table, Dongzi trembled and stood there for a long time, not daring to move, even thinking that it would be better to simply die than suffer such humiliation.Susu's trembling legs were fixed on the brackets of the examination table.Dongzi burst into tears while being examined. It is much calmer now than it was then, but no matter how many obstetrical and gynecological examinations I have experienced, I will not get used to it. Not only is there a sense of shame when I am fixed on the examination table, but I also need to expose my thin lower body. Dongzi's body is pitifully slender, but she herself doesn't think it's that thin, she always thinks it's because the bones are thin and the flesh doesn't show.Despite being over 25, that part is still light and dark.Kishi once said "like a girl".Dongzi's menarche was later than her friend's, and her breasts were also flat. Kishi once told him that she liked her frailty. Now, Dongzi separated her two weak legs from side to side, closed her eyes, and a few minutes passed, a chilly feeling flashed, and after a while, the nurse told her, "Okay." Dongzi took his leg off the brace, got off the examination table, and hurriedly put on his clothes. "Please." The nurse led her out from behind the white curtain.The doctor is sitting at the desk and filling out the medical records. "How do you feel now?" "fine……" The doctor wrote again on the medical chart and looked up. "Looks like uterine fibroids." Dongzi was stunned for a moment, she stared blankly at the doctor's face, maybe because it was too sudden, she couldn't immediately understand the meaning of this sentence. "Because of fibroids, menstruation is prolonged, causing pain and weakness in the waist and lower abdomen." The doctor said it twice before Dongzi slowly understood. "So, what should I do..." "It's better to have an operation to cut off the tumor." "Operation?" "The fibroids are located on the inside of the uterus, so..." "Will it become cancer if it develops?" "No, there is no such thing, because it is a fibroid, it will not grow so big, but it is better to cut it off." "Then, take the womb..." "There are no children." "Ok……" "The current situation, I want to use surgery to remove the tumor to solve." The doctor filled in a few more lines horizontally on the medical record. After he finished writing, Dongzi asked, "Should the operation be done as soon as possible?" "Yes, the sooner the better." Dongzi stared at the doctor's face and nodded slowly. Out of the hospital, the sun is shining outside.The summer heat was washed away by a rain, and the earth has turned into autumn. Fuyuko was walking on the tree-lined road, and the sycamores on the side of the road continued to Yoyogi Gaien.At the intersection, Dongzi called a taxi. "Harajuku." As soon as she said it, she immediately corrected it and said, "Please drive to Sangong Bridge." Dongzi has no intention of going to the store anymore, and she wants to think about her illness alone. Frankly speaking, Dongzi didn't expect her illness to be so serious.In the past, menstrual delay and low back pain often occurred, so she thought that this time it might only be a little more severe, and at most it would be better with some medicine and a few injections of hormones. Now it is found out that there is a tumor growing in the uterus.Why is there such a thing in the womb?The doctor said: "There is no special reason. If I have to say it, it should be poor constitution." Dongzi was afraid that she had grown such a thing without knowing it. Speaking of which, Dongzi's mother's cousin had undergone surgery for uterine fibroids; the proprietress of the "Mimosa Restaurant" heard that she had also been hospitalized for the same disease.Perhaps the disease is not uncommon.But if you think about it carefully, both of them are over middle age, the cousin is over forty years old, and the proprietress of the teahouse is also thirty-seven or eight years old. It may be rare to see a 20-year-old like Dongzi. Why exactly... Sitting on the car seat, Dongzi quietly looked at her lower abdomen. The soft georgette dress was loosely tied with a belt. Under the skirt were leisurely and slender legs. From the outside, it was hard to imagine that there would be hidden muscles inside. tumor.Could it be true... Dongzi still couldn't believe it. Although she couldn't think that the doctor made a mistake, fibroids were not so easy to diagnose.Feeling scared, Dongzi still tried her best to think about her illness in a better way. Take the Oda Express Line, get off at Sangong Bridge, walk along the road in front of the station, climb up a small slope, and on the left is Dongzi's apartment. Fuyuko's room is on the third floor. The front of the room is a bedroom with a width of 10 tatami mats, and there is a Japanese-style room with a width of eight tatami mats inside.If you work at home, the room is a bit cramped, but it is about the same size for one person. As soon as she returned to the room, Dongzi sat down on the sofa and stared out the window blankly. She didn't move much, but she felt quite tired, maybe it was a mental effect, and she felt a dull pain in her abdomen.She didn't understand that she seemed to have become a lonely and helpless patient all of a sudden. Dongzi looked at the white clouds drifting by outside the window.After a while, she stood up and called the store.It was Maki Satomura who answered the phone.Rimura's home is in Yoyogi Uehara. She has been living in Harajuku since she was in high school, and she is known as the "Harajuku Clan." "Old lady, are you sick after watching?" "It's over. I'm in a hurry. Is anyone in the store?" "Mr. Kawasaki came for a while just now. Besides, there are no other acquaintances. I will go to the store before two o'clock. If you need anything, please call home." "understood." After Maki finished speaking, he called out again. "Ah, Mr. Kishi called just now." "Oh, say what?" "I said the proprietress was not here, so he just said goodbye." "understood." Dongzi replied coldly, and hung up the phone. Although it is autumn, the noon sun is still strong.Dongzi went to the balcony, basked in the sun for a while, and then walked into the bathroom.I showered once when I left home in the morning. Although I just went to the hospital one by one, I had to shower again, otherwise I felt very uncomfortable.The bathtub was filled with hot water, and Dongzi slowly sank her body into the water. Dongzi's skin was pale, as Takashi once said, so white that blood vessels could be seen.It does feel like that on the back of the hands and underarms. There were bubbles in the bathtub, and Dongzi scrubbed vigorously, as if to wash away all the smells on the hospital examination table.The white skin was rubbed red, and Dongzi suddenly thought whether the uterine fibroids were related to abortion.The thought had no connection, but just passed through Fuyuko's mind suddenly.If it is said that fibroids are caused by abortion, then all women who have had abortions will get fibroids, and the doctor did not clearly explain this. Even if the memory of abortion is annoying, it is also associated with the memory of Takashi. If the abortion and fibroids are connected, it may be believed that this time it is also related to Takashi. "It's strange." Dongzi said to herself, looking at the mirror in the bathroom.It may be because I have been worrying about getting sick all the time. I don't think about eating recently, and my body has lost a lot of weight. My face has become thinner and my eyes have become bigger.If undergoing surgery, more physical strength is required.But, is it really a fibroid... Dongzi recalled the expression of the doctor who examined her today. To be precise, he was a slightly cold and severe doctor who seemed to be only thirty-two or three-year-old.Although I don't particularly doubt his ability, I always feel that he is a little younger. What happened to the dean?The hospital is still called Meiji Clinic as before, but the doctor has changed.Dongzi was puzzled, and finally saw the phone number on the registration certificate, and she tried to call the Meiji Clinic. The hospital probably took a lunch break, and it took a long time for a female nurse to answer the phone. "Did Mr. Dean not go to work today?" Dongzi asked bluntly. "I have a cold and didn't go to work. I can come next week." "So, who is Mr. today?" "Mr. University Hospital instead. Please come." "thanks." After Dongzi thanked the other party, she put down the phone.Sure enough, today's doctor is a substitute, what should I do... Fuyuko took out the business card from the youth Funatsu yesterday from her bag.If it is an operation, maybe it is better to go to a big hospital, after all, a small hospital is not sure. While looking at the business card and hesitating, Dongzi thought of Takashi.Although Dongzi broke up with Guizhi decisively at the time, she felt shaken when she encountered this kind of thing. Perhaps it was the sense of security she had developed in the past four years that made her unable to help asking Guizhi for help. No... Dongzi didn't allow herself to do that.She thought that since they broke up, she would forget about it completely, and she didn't want to do anything with Guizhi, but now that she was sick, it was unavoidable, and Dongzi decided in her mind, and finally decided to go to Mejiro Hospital for the time being tomorrow. The next morning, Dongzi went to Mejiro Metropolitan Hospital. The chief doctor of obstetrics and gynecology is a long-faced and gentle person.The results of the examination were the same as those of the doctors at Yoyogi Hospital, and they advised Dongzi to undergo surgery because it was uterine fibroids. "If you have an operation, will you not be able to have children?" Because the doctor is a middle-aged man, Dongzi has no scruples. "Considering that you are not married, it is best to only cut off the fibroids and leave the uterus." His tone made people feel that no matter what the operation is, the loss of the uterus should be avoided. "However, there are no wards in the hospital now, and it will take about half a month to wait." Dongzi ran out of ideas again. "Because it is not a difficult operation, as long as there is a familiar hospital nearby, it is also possible to do it there." "Are private hospitals also available?" "It's okay." Toko began to prefer to have surgery at Yoyogi Hospital.Although it is a private hospital, she had undergone abortions there before and was very courageous. She had a general understanding of the ward situation and the hospital's arrangements, and the hospital was not called an obstetrics and gynecology hospital, but called a clinic. After leaving Mejiro Hospital, I received a call from Kishi as soon as I arrived at the store in the afternoon. "Go to the hospital?" "Hmm..." Because there were girls around, Dongzi hesitated to speak. "What's the matter, is it really bad?" "Let's talk about this when you come back." "I'll take the Shinkansen at 3 o'clock and arrive in Tokyo at 6 o'clock. Then I will meet someone in Rakucho and go to your place around 7 o'clock." "Come to the shop?" "Not available?" "No……" Although it is not inconvenient, Dongzi wants to avoid meeting in the store if possible. "Then, on the 6th floor of Palais France on Meiji Street, there is a tavern 'Linden Tree'. Let's meet there at 7 o'clock." "Ok." Palais France on Meiji Avenue is considered to be the base of famous French shops in Japan. In the beautiful building with black vertical stripes on a white background, there are many famous French shops, from Carl, who is a representative of the Paris clothing industry. Dan, Dior, Chigaro, to Garche, the gem shop, Ninalich, the perfume shop, and Serino, Erbanci and so on.These stores only import high-end goods, which are beyond the reach of ordinary people, but it is fun to visit even if it is just for a visit.Tourists sometimes have an illusion, as if they have come to Paris.The "Bodhi Tree" tavern that Guizhi mentioned is on the sixth floor of this building. Dongzi once came here with Mrs. Zhongshan. The building is quite spacious, with candles on every table and luxurious decoration. Dongzi got off the elevator and was about to enter the door when the waiter greeted her, "Is this Miss Kinouchi?" Dongzi nodded.It seems that after Guizhi came, he told the waiter that he was coming, and the waiter led her inside. Kishi was sitting by the window on the left where he could see the indoor garden and waited. "Sorry for being late." "No, I just arrived too." Kishi opened the menu. "I didn't eat lunch. I'm hungry. What do you want?" "I'm not quite..." "It's good to eat a little meat or something." Kishi casually ordered two French bouillon and tenderloin, then picked up the wine and said, "Long time no see." Dongzi passively raises her wine glass and touches it with Kishi's. "A year and a half." "It's two years." The last time I met Kishi was at the opening of "Crowhue".Compared with that time, Guizhi seems to be a little fatter. "How was life after that?" "Well, barely dealt with." "You haven't changed, you are still so thin." Guizhi said and lit a cigarette. "what do you want to say?" "I'm not feeling well." "where?" "It's uterine fibroids." "Fibroids?" "The doctor said it would be best to have an operation." Takako looked at Dongzi's face, and then turned his gaze back to the garden outside the window. Maybe he sold beer in the garden in summer, but now the tables and chairs are gathered in the corner. "Do you need surgery?" "Yes, the doctor said the sooner the better..." "But, can your body do it?" Guizhi cast a gentle look at Dongzi, "Is it a major operation?" "The doctor said it was nothing serious." "Are you going to do it at Mejiro Hospital?" "There is no ward there. I want to go to Yoyogi Hospital." "To Yoyogi?" "Ok……" The waiter put the soup in front of them. "It's delicious, please drink the soup." After Guizhi finished speaking, he changed the subject, "What would happen if we didn't have surgery?" "The doctor said it's not good after all..." I didn't dare to say the abnormal menstruation before. "So, what should we do?" "Surgery next week..." "so fast?" "Can't you?" "From Wednesday next week, I'm going to Europe for about two weeks." "I heard Mrs. Zhongshan say it." "Is it okay to have surgery after returning from Europe?" "why?" "Can't surgery be postponed?" "Don't worry about my business." "Your various preparations, or other things." "No." Dongzi refused, thinking that this person was a little strange, what was he thinking?Is it just out of concern?Still somewhat attached to myself. The two have not seen each other since they broke up two years ago.I went to the hospital because of my poor health, and if I didn't tell Guizhi, I went there alone, but I called him myself.The two met today, and the reason for it was Dongzi.When we broke up two years ago, Dongzi said: "Let us become good friends with each other from now on." At that time, he planned to cut off the relationship between men and women completely. Nothing happened.However, the phrase "become good friends" does not mean complete separation, and I can't forget him at ordinary times, and I often have a feeling of wanting to find him.If you really want to break up completely, maybe there is no need to continue to be friends. It is okay to hate forever and curse as much as you want.Breaking up and hoping to be friendly is just an excuse, both to excuse oneself and to excuse others. It is an excuse to temporarily escape from the pain of breaking up. Now that the two meet, is it really out of friendship? ... Dongzi thought motionlessly while holding the rice fork.He said, tell him if you have any difficulties, and now tell him if you have any difficulties, and then come to have dinner together.There is nothing strange about this, it is also common among ordinary friends. Dongzi seemed very calm, probably because she told her about her condition, she seemed to feel relaxed quickly, and Takashi also ate peacefully, neither showing any special expression nor feeling nervous. "What are you thinking?" Dongzi slowly shook his head in denial. "Stop thinking about being sick. Eat more." "Yeah." Dongzi nodded and thought, this kind of conversation is a little different from the men and women who have broken up. It took nearly an hour to eat, and dessert was served at the end. The result of the conversation between the two was: Toko went to Yoyogi Hospital for surgery, and Kishi expressed his understanding. "What to do now?" "you say……" "What's up?" "No." "Go and drink." Toko stared at Kishi's face, what on earth was he going to say, forget about the breakup, and drink as a friend? "Anyway, let's go." Guizhi stood up holding the receipt, and Dongzi followed naturally.At the door, Guizhi greeted the manager, and then entered the elevator. "It's okay to drink now." "what……" "Your illness." Dongzi knew that Takashi's gaze was on her lower body, so she stepped back quietly. "It doesn't matter, does it?" When I got off the elevator, the shops in the building were closed. "It's been a long time since I went to 'Wednesday Morning' in Akasaka, let's check it out." "Is it 'Wednesday morning'?" "Don't you want to?" "Wednesday Morning" is a tavern that Dongzi and Takashi used to go to when they were living together. Near TBS in Akasaka, the boss sometimes runs a film production, so there are many people in the TV and drama circles. Dongzi is not unwilling, and Takashi When Chi broke up, Dongzi drank there with the proprietress until late at night, and the proprietress also knew about Dongzi and Guizhi's breakup. "Do you go often?" "I've only been there once or twice since we broke up, and I haven't been there for a long time." How are you going to talk when you go to a hotel where the two of you used to hang out while living together?I don't understand what Guizhi is thinking, but I also have the idea of ​​meeting the proprietress.Kishi seemed to understand what Fuyuko meant, and after passing the signal light, he hailed a taxi and said, "Akasaka." The car immediately left Omotesando and turned left. "Where do you want to go when you go to Europe this time?" "Netherlands and France, mainly staying in Amsterdam. If I'm not at home, if there is anything, please contact the person who brought the letter of introduction last time." "Is it Funatsu?" "Although he is young, he is a very clever man." Dongzi remembered that the young man's name was Kaisuke. "Long time no see." Walking into "Wednesday Morning", Guizhi greeted the proprietress. “没有倒闭，还得干哪！”老板娘迎过来。 老板娘把手搭在冬子的肩头上说：“挺好？” “嗯，勉强对付。” “贵志先生的瓶子还在，不过已经罩满了灰尘呀。” “那好，给我换新的嘛。” “真是好久没见了。” 老板娘在新的瓶子里拧上水以后，重新看着二人：“在搞什么？” “你说什么？在工作嘛。”贵志回答，但老板娘想听的似乎是他们俩人的事。两年前那么断然地断绝了关系，这会儿又来到一起喝酒，老板娘对此抱有好奇心也不足为怪。 “刚刚不久，中山先生来了，说了一些关于你们二位的事情。” 中山先生是中山夫人的丈夫，最初带中山教授来这里的是贵志，那以后教授似乎经常来这里。 “中山先生说，冬子小姐又瘦了。很担心呀。”教授大概是从夫人那里听到了冬子的情况。“不管怎么说，先干一杯吧。”老板娘给自己也倒了一杯。三人的杯子碰到了一起，“今后再不来可小行呀，冬子小姐也要来呵。”性情豪爽的老板娘，好象开玩笑地说。然后转过话题，“今天晚上幽会？” “幽会？”贵志反问道。 “还是很般配的呀。” “老板娘，误会了吧。” “哟，是吗？您二位能来喝酒我就足够了。” 冬子受不了酒精的刺激，掺水的酒喝两三杯就感到身体发烧，眼睛都红了。贵志曾说这时的冬子很艳丽。然而，冬子的酒量已到了极限，再喝下去，身体就会瘫软，说话控制不住，两年前和贵志分手，就是在喝多了以后，和这个老板娘喋喋不休地说了一晚上。 30分钟过去，冬子的脸已经微微发红。虽然没有照一下粉盒里的镜子，但可以感到身体象火烤一样。在“菩提树”喝了葡萄酒，在这里又连喝了两杯掺水的酒，已经过量了。 “再喝一杯怎样？”贵志劝她说。 “不，已经够了。”冬子用手挡住杯子。喝是能喝，但喝多了，就要靠着贵志，那会引起冬子的不安。尽管前途未卜，冬子仍想独身生活下去。 坦率地说，从和贵志见面的时候起，冬子就担心自己的精神是否会崩溃，为此她提醒自己现在的见面仅仅是为了商议治病的事，因此才在一起吃饭，绝不是单纯要见贵志。然而，贵志对冬子的想法并没有在意，关于治病的谈话一结束，就美美地吃饭，吃完饭贵志又满不在乎地邀请她到过去两人来过的酒店，而且那么快乐地和老板娘说话，依然那么悠然自在、无忧无虑。冬子对贵志的这种表现既憎恨，又怀念。 “怎么样，再去一家吧？” “我要告辞了。” “不要那么急嘛。” “可是……”冬子站起来。 “唉哟，就要回去吗？”老板娘见状马上走了过来，“下次，你自己也可以来。” “好的。”冬子约好之后便离开酒店。因电梯正上升，两人便走下楼梯。 “真的回去吗？”下完楼梯的时候，贵志问。 "Ok……" “那么，送送你吧？” “不要紧，我一个人能回去。” “是吗？”贵志站下来注视着冬子，“恐怕在我从欧洲回来之前，没有机会再见面了。”贵志在霓虹灯下说。 冬子这时候不知如何是好。至少在离开“星期三早晨”之前，冬子是打算和贵志告别直接回家的。可是，她的心情突然变了。是因为贵志硬叫一辆车送她呢，还是因为在暗淡的车内感到贵志就在自己的身旁？如果是这样的话，从巴莱法兰西到赤坂时，贵志就坐在冬子的身旁，可那时冬子的心情还是很平静的。也许是贵志“没有机会再见面了”一句话引起的。确实，就从那一瞬间，冬子的心情突然感到依恋起来。下周贵志要去欧洲，冬子则要接受手术，二人能够悠然相聚，今天是最后的时间。即使贵志动身那天去送行，在拥挤的人群中，也只是互相看一眼而已。如果等到半月后，贵志回国来看望她，那时，冬子已经是手术以后了。以健康的、没有伤痕的身体和贵志在一起，这是最后的机会了，以没有伤痕的身体和贵志相聚，再也不会有第二次了。一种凄凉的感觉压迫着冬子。 汽车穿过外苑的森林，接近参宫轿的陆桥时，冬子小声地哭泣起来。 "What's wrong?" “我怕……”冬子胆怯地说。 冬子虽然嘴上说一个人回去，却不想和贵志告别，刚才心情的变化，加强了冬子的这一想法，结果是冬子劝留了贵志。不知道贵志是看透了冬子的心情，还是只认为冬子是害怕？贵志抱着冬子的肩头，小声地说着：“没关系的，不要担心。” "..." “住1O天院，就能出院吧。” 冬子微微地摇了摇头。现在冬于害怕的不是手术，尽管一个人住院接受手术有些担心，但是，冬子最感到可怕的是要在自已的身上留下伤痕，不仅要伤及皮肤，而且要切除一部分子宫。虽然医生说不用担心，可是连子宫都被割掉也不要紧吗？如果那样，还能算女人吗？万一这样，今天晚上就是作为女人的最后一晚上了，贵志迷恋自己没有动过手术的身体，也许只有今天晚上了。 参宫桥的公寓，冬子一次也没有让男人来过，不用说，贵志也是第一次来。 和贵志分手以后的两年间，冬子没同任何人发生过那种男女关系。 实际上冬子也曾努力使自己喜欢另外的男人。她想自己不如索性爱上谁，以便从和贵志分手的痛苦中摆脱出来，彻底地切断对贵志的思念。有了这样的想法，她便经常和一些男人喝酒，有时候自己眼看着就要支持不住，倒向男人的怀抱，甚至趁着醉意还吻过木田。但是，无论怎么激动，最后冬子还是一个人回到了房间。 贵志跟在冬子的后面，进入房间。 在紧靠正门的卧室里，左边并排着餐柜和书架，中央放着接待客人的桌子，右边天蓝色的帘子里面是厨房，厨房前，安放着饭桌。在正中的桌子上，冬子昨天刚插的菊花，正盛开着大大的花朵。为了驱赶单人寓所的寂寞，冬子在房间里总插着花。贵志进去后，坐在桌子前的沙发上，环视着周围。 “很舒服的房间。” "Would you like something to drink?" “有白兰地吗？” “在那个餐柜里。” “啊，我自己拿。”贵志替刚要过来的拿的冬子拿出了瓶子。 “总是你一个人住在这里？” "certainly……" 冬子拿出酒杯，贵志往里倒酒：“还是很相似的。” "what?" “房间给我的感觉。” “没有那种事。”冬子使劲地左右摇头。从青山搬到这里来的时候，冬子把过去的家具几乎都给了别人或卖掉了，无论是床、餐柜、接待客人的沙发桌子全换了新的。和以前相同的是西服柜和立体声音响之类的东西，能引起对贵志的回忆的东两全扔了。尽管知道这需要花费巨大的财力和大量的时间，但冬子的感情要求这样。那么贵志怎么会说和以前青山的住所相似呢？ “是个安静的处所。”贯志喝了一口白兰地走到窗边。这里虽是三楼，但因为是在山坡的上边，从冬子的房间越过参宫桥车站的灯光，可以眺望到代代木的森林，如是白天，森林前面会连着明亮的天空，现在正覆盖着没有星光的夜空。 “那个发光的地方是哪里呢？”贵志把酒杯靠在额头上，自言自语地说。 “是涉谷的出租商场。”冬子站在贵志的旁边。在手指的那个方向，出租商场的霓虹灯正在闪闪发光。 “已经两年了吗？” "Ok?" “来这里。” “是……”在冬子回答的刹那间，贵志的胳脯抱住了冬子的肩膀。 “不……”冬子敏捷地后退，但贵志硬是把她拉到身边。冬子仰脸挺起下巴，嘴唇与贵志的嘴唇吻在了一起。经过很长时间的接吻后，贵志松开嘴唇喘息了一下，抚摸着冬子的头发。冬子虽然想到拒绝，但她仍然把脸埋在贵志的胸口上，没有转身。 现在的冬子，似乎是两个冬子，一个想答应贵志，另一个则想拒绝。冬子在这两种选择之间无力地闭上眼睛，索性就让贵志自己动手吧。这时如果贵志能不给冬子反抗的余地，粗鲁地马上动手，倒是救了冬子，而这样半推半就对冬子来说是最痛苦的。 贵志好象看透了冬子的心思，冷不防抱起了冬子。 “不……”冬子左右摇头。但贵志并没退缩，轻轻地把冬子抱在怀中，向里边的床上走去。 "let me go……" 尽管冬子又是摇头，又是蹬脚，但是对贵志的强迫仍感到某种快感；她一面认为贵志是个自私的人，却又从他身上感到一种温柔般的甜密。 今天早晨冬子出门时，将被褥整整齐齐地整理了一遍，并蒙上了细花色的床罩。喜欢整洁的冬子，只要房间稍一杂乱，心里就感到不舒畅。现在，冬子就仰卧在自己铺好的床罩上，贵志的两手紧紧地按着她的肩头，冬子即使想起来，也动弹不得。贵志正在等待着冬子安静下来。 “不嘛。”霎那间，贵志妻子的面孔闪过冬子的脑海。以前每当想起贵志的妻子时，冬子的脊梁都感到发冷，可是现在似乎没有那种感觉，是的，现在已经不同于两年前了，现在的冬子不想从她那里夺过贵志，她现在所以拥在贵志的怀里，仅仅是为了消除手术前的不安，趁着没有手术的时候，再享受一次爱的愉悦。 她闭上了眼睛，反抗的那个冬子不见了，取而代之的是听话、温驯的冬子；感到厌恶的心情消失了，在她的心里萌发了一种渴望之情。“我要。”象是要给冬子最后一击，贵志在她的耳边轻声地说。 是因为他的强迫……冬子正在考虑一个委身于贵志的理由。 也许女人的天性特别喜欢找理由吧。如果有了什么理由，女人就会变得意想不到的大胆。 这是我把自己无伤的身体给他的最后机会……从找到这个理由的时候起，冬子就开始变得主动起来。 冬子象要掩饰自己的羞怯，紧紧地抱住贵志，紧紧地，一点不留缝隙地抱着。冬子的身体虽然很瘦，却很柔软，即使有肉，因为骨架很小也不太明显。贵志以前曾说过：“轻柔的身段。”这是什么意思冬子不太明白。贵志解释说：“虽然纤细，却无瘦骨，肩、腰都是圆的。”这就表现为轻柔吗…… 两年的时间没有发生这种事情，这使冬子感到一种激动和战栗。带着这种激动和战栗，冬子坠入了一个新的世界。 象是从遥远的旅途返回来，冬子慢慢地清醒了。 冬子自己不明白当时说了些什么，只是模模糊糊地记得是顺口说出的。“淫乱的家伙。”贵志曾经有一次半开玩笑地说。那当然不是嘲笑、蔑视她，但也明白那是在享受爱的时候顺口说出的。不过这种说法冬子听起来却是很残酷的。在冬子不能支配自己的时候，露出了另一种形象，虽然不想让贵志看见那样的形象，却无法控制自己不被卷入到那种场合。尽管那是自己的形象，却是没有记忆的，冬子感到遗憾。想来贵志总是那么冷静、沉着，虽然兴奋却总是清醒的。他现在也一定在用那种清醒的目光，注视着兴奋的冬子。 可是，现在的冬子，即使感到羞耻，也无力反抗了。她就象一叶经过长途航行的小舟，静静地在贵志的怀里抛锚，身上还残留着旅途后的疲劳，疲软的娇甜充满全身。冬子甚至感到，自己在这之前的反抗真是不可思议，为什么会那么固执，为什么不能更温驯些。抗拒、不服从的冬子已成了过去，现在只剩一下温柔和顺从了。 “不要紧吗？” "Ok?" “你的肚子。” 这句话逐渐地把冬子拉回到现实中来。她似乎一时忘记了自己有病，忘记了肚子中有个小东西，下周还要做手术的身体。 不知怎么回事，冬子的身上还残留着娇甜的感觉。 "Strange?" "what?" “不……”冬子虽然病了，但确实感到自己不可思议。为过去自己的冲动感到羞耻。 “可惜啊……”贵志突然嘟囔了一句。 "what?" “这么漂亮的身体。” 贵志注视了良久，一会儿便忍耐不住地抱住了冬子。 把自己的一切都给了贵志，冬子不仅不感到后悔，而且还心甘情愿。现在在冬子即将手术的时候，最后享受到冬子完好无伤的身体的人仍然只有贵志，既然身体的爱欲是被贵志发动起来，那么由贵志来验视身体也是应当的。 “行吗？”贵志在她的耳边轻声问了一遍。 “已经成了老太婆了。” “没那回事，你现在是最美的。如果说以前还有些幼稚，那么你现在则是一个很成熟的女人。” “奇谈怪论。” “是赞美。行吗？” “那么。我不喜欢亮灯。” “如果没有灯光，怎么能看见。” “真奇怪，要看。” “不奇怪，想看美丽的东西谁都一样。” "But……" “我想再好好地看一次。” 冬子慢慢地仰躺下来，紧紧地闭着眼，尽管她什么也看不见，可她知道贵志在注视着她，她很想早点看完，但又希望贵志好好地看一下，以后在肚子上无论留下什么样的伤痕，贵志脑子里都能回想起来现在的身体。 “还没看完？” “真漂亮。无论到了什么岁数，你的身体都象少女一样。” "Girl?" "yes." 冬子用毛毯把脸蒙上，贵志再次抱住她说。 “损伤这样的身体是罪过。” “可是，没办法呀。” “那是……”贵志仲了一个懒腰，坐起上身。 "stand up?" “啊……”贵志象在寻找内衣，打量着周围。贵志总是这样，突然起来就开始穿衣服，然后象忘记了刚才一时的激情一样，又变得十分冷漠，系上领带。贵志的这番举动，冬子不知反复看了多少次了。 “回去吗？” “已经11点了。” “再呆一会儿……”冬子刚开口就闭嘴不说了。以前，在这个时候，冬子常常这样说，温和的贵志，总是露出为难的脸色，然后吸上烟。 贵志离开冬子的公寓，刚过十一点。 “下周星期三之前，我还在日本。”贵志走到门口回头对冬子说。冬子穿着长袍，点头作答。 "goodbye." 贵志告别时，总是那么冷淡。 冬子关上房门。走在混凝土走廊上的脚步声渐渐远去。 冬子返回卧室，坐在沙发上。这列小田快车线的电车，在夜里轰然而去。贵志的家在荻，晚上在参宫桥坐车30分钟就能到。贵志是直接回家，还是顺路到哪里去了？想到这里、冬子摇了摇头，随便他到哪里去吧。 冬子拿起放在桌子上的国会牌香烟，用红颜色的打火机点上。教会冬子抽烟的也是贵志，那是在认识他一年的时候，贵志劝她抽一口试试，于是冬子就真抽了一口，一下子呛着了。贵志笑起来，“烟要一直往前吹。”当时冬子感到奇怪，怎么会抽这么难抽的烟，但很快地就习惯了。现在睡觉前、工作的间歇都要抽一支，一天有十支国会烟就够了。 冬子慢慢地吐着烟圈，烟直直地飘向空中分散开来。房间重归寂静，这是一阵猛烈的暴风雨过后的寂静，暴风雨连同冬子的身体一起卷过这个房间。那确实是没有料到，甚至在见到贵志的时候，连想都没想会发生那种事，只是两人自然的要求，所以风暴刚刚过去，冬子的心情很快就平静下来。无论什么时间动手术都无关紧要了。冬子已经做好了精神上的准备。 住院的时间是在下周的星期四，也就是贵志启程去欧洲的第二天。