Chapter 8 chapter eight
The count suffered only concussions and bruises, and it was his horse that was shot.The accident was discussed for days in the chateau, in the vineyards and in the town.An investigation was conducted, but there was not a single clue as to who fired the shot, as the bullet could have come from hundreds of guns in the surrounding area.The count could hardly remember the accident, saying only that he rode into the bushes, stooped through a tree, and the next thing he knew, he was put on a stretcher.It is believed that the stooping motion probably saved his life, for the bullet leaped across, struck the branch, and shot through the horse's head.This happened in a fraction of a second, and the Count was thrown unconscious after the horse fell.
I enjoyed the next few days, knowing it was an uncomfortable situation, but only one thing mattered: he was still alive.Because I have always been sane, even in those days of ecstatic comfort, I asked myself what the future held.How the hell did I make a man so important to me?In the first place it was almost impossible for him to have the same interest in me, and even if he did, his reputation put any reasonable woman at arm's length, and am I not proud of being a reasonable woman?
But in those few days, apart from happiness and comfort, I didn't care about anything.
I went into town to the pastry shop in the square, where I used to go for a cup of coffee on my midday walk.
I was welcomed by the proprietress, Mrs. Ruddy, who was always happy to see people from the Castle, and always found some reason to stand and chat with me when she brought my coffee.
In this meeting, she quickly entered the topic of the day.
"God have mercy, miss, I heard that the count was not hurt, and his patron saint took care of him that day."
"Yes, he was lucky."
"It's a dreadful thing, miss. Our bushes don't seem safe, and I don't like to see him on a stretcher. But Ruddy's a good man, miss. He has no enemies here."
I stir the coffee nervously.
She flicked the napkin on the table blankly, "Oh, Mr. Earl, he was very cold... very cold. The old grandfather used to say that when he was the Earl, no girl in the neighborhood was safe... But if they are in trouble Well, he always gets a husband. And believe me, they don't suffer for it, we have an old saying in Gaillard, you can often find the blood of the castle, passed down through the generations. Oh, well, It's human to you."
“The vineyards have changed a lot in the last few weeks,” I said, “and I’ve heard people say that if the weather stays warm and sunny, it’s going to be a good year.”
"Good harvest," she smiled, "this can be regarded as compensation for what happened to the earl in the woods."
"hope so."
"Well, it's a warning, don't you say so, miss? He won't be riding in the woods for a while, I swear."
"Probably not," I said nervously, and finished my coffee and got up to leave.
"Good-bye, ma'am," said Mrs. Ruddy, eagerly, and I think she wished for more gossip.
The next day I couldn't help but go to see Gabriela. She had changed since the last time I saw her.Her manner was tense, but she was delighted when I complimented her on the charm of her new home. "It's far more than I dared to ask for," she said. "Do you feel all right?" "Yes, I've seen Ms. Currie, she's a midwife, you know. She's very satisfied, and there's only one thing to do now is to wait. Mom, and Jack's mother is always by my side and treats me very well." "Do you want a boy or a girl?" "Boy, I think everyone likes first-born boys." I pictured him playing in the garden... A sturdy little fellow, would he have the blood of the Castle? "What about Jack?" She blushed. "Oh, he's happy too, very happy." "How lucky...it all worked out." "Monsieur Earl is very kind." "Not everyone felt that way, at least not the guy who shot him." She clasped her hands together, "You think this is by design, you don't think..." "He was lucky to escape. It must have been a shock to you that it happened... so close to you." As soon as I said it, I immediately felt ashamed of myself.For I knew that if my suspicions about the Count and Gabriela had any basis, I must have wounded her terribly.I have no intention of probing other people's motives, I just need to be sure.Hadn't Mrs. Radelle already hinted that the Count had reasons to help Gabriel get married?Who else has the same idea?I want to know if the Earl is the father of her child. But she wasn't angry at what I said, which pleased me because she didn't seem to realize the implications, and I'm sure if she felt ashamed, she would react that way immediately. She said, "Yeah, it was a big scare, luckily Jake wasn't far away, and he found the man with the stretcher." Still, I'm going to do my research, "Do you think the count has enemies here?" "Oh, that was an accident," she said quickly. "Then," I emphasized, "he's not hurt." "I'm so thankful for everything!" There were tears in her eyes, and I wondered if they were tears of gratitude, or something deeper. Walking in the garden a few days later, I met the count face to face.I was wandering in the middle level of the garden with its ornamental garden and box hedges separating the ornamental lawn when I spotted him sitting on a stone bench looking out over a lotus pond where goldfish were clearly visible. The sun was so hot in the enclosed garden that at first I thought he was asleep.I watched the scenery for a while, and was about to leave when I heard him call me: "Miss Lawson." "I hope I didn't bother you." "It's an honor to be interrupted, please come and sit for a while." I went to the chair and sat beside him. "I haven't thanked you enough for your swift action in the woods." "I'm afraid I haven't done anything worthy of praise." "Your quickness of action is commendable." "I just did what anyone would do in that situation, do you feel recovered now?" "Absolutely, away from the muscle strain. I've heard it's going to be over in a week or so, and at the moment, I'm limping on my cane." I watched him hold an ivory-tipped cane in his jade-carved signet ring, and he was like a traditional French man who doesn't wear a wedding ring, and I wondered if he just happened to be conforming to tradition or had a meaning. He looked at me and said, "You look . . . contented, Miss Lawson." I was flabbergasted, and I wondered how much emotion I was giving away.It's very important for me not to reveal anything right now, I have something to hide. "This sight," I said quickly, "the warm sunshine...the flowers, the fountain...it's beautiful! Who wouldn't be satisfied in this garden? What are the statues in the pool?" "Persius saved Andromeda, a very pleasing work. You must take a close look at it. It was completed by a sculptor brought to the castle by my ancestors two hundred years ago. It will especially please you." "Why so special?" "I see you as a female Perseus, saving art from the dragons of damage, age, art destroyers." "That's a very poetic imagination, you surprised me." "I'm not as worldly as you think. After you gave me a few lessons in the gallery, I've become more knowledgeable. Just wait and see." "I believe you have no intention of acquiring knowledge that is of no use to you." "I've always understood that all knowledge is useful." "Some will be slightly better, and one cannot acquire them all, and it is a waste of time to fill one's mind with knowledge that is not practical ... spending too much on it." He raised his shoulders and smiled.I went on: "It might be useful knowledge to know who caused that accident in the woods." "You think so?" "Of course, what if it happens again?" "Then it could be an unfortunate ending...or a lucky one, of course, it all depends on which angle you look at it from." "I found your attitude to be extraordinary. You don't seem to care that your murderer has not been found." "How? My dear Miss Lawson, there have been countless inquiries. It is not as easy as you think to trace a bullet. There are guns in nearly every farmhouse. There are rabbits all around, and they do damage. , and it's a delicacy in the pot, shooting them has never been restrained." "If someone is shooting a rabbit, why don't they explain it?" "What! Because they killed my horse by mistake." "So someone was hunting in the woods and the bullet hit the tree and killed the horse. Didn't the guy with the gun know you were in the woods?" "Let's say he...or she doesn't know." "So you accept the theory that it was an accident." "Why not, since it's a sound theory?" "It's a reassuring theory, but I don't think you're the type to accept a theory because it's reassuring." "Maybe you'll change your mind when you get to know me better." He smiled at me. "It's lovely here. I hope you have no other plans. If not, can you stay and talk for a while? Then I can take you Go to the pond and you can get a close look at Perseus, it's a little masterpiece. The look of determination on his face is extraordinary, and of course he decided to kill the monster. Now talk to me about the pictures, they're progressing How? You're such a worker, and in a short time you'll be done with the gallery work, our pictures will look as they were when they were first painted. It's incredible, Miss Lawson." I talked about the pictures, and after a while we looked at the statues, and then we went back to the castle together. Our speed across the flower beds was inevitably slow, and when we entered the old castle, I think I saw the classroom windows move, and I guess who is watching us-Rano or Genevieve? The momentary curiosity caused by the Earl's accident vanished, for the vines were in danger, and their rapid growth would now reach the peak of growth, which would have been about the time of early summer when the black measles were rare. The news spread quickly throughout the town and castle. I went to Mrs. Busted's to find out what was going on, and she was as troubled as Gabriel's. As we sat down to drink coffee, she told me what kind of damage black measles can do, and if it isn't contained it can infect an entire field—maybe not only this year but the next. Champier and his father worked late into the night, and the vines were sprayed with sodium arsenite, and too much of the solvent could be harmful, and too little would kill the pests. "That's life," Mrs. Bastedt said with a philosophical shrug, and went on to tell me more about the catastrophe when grapevine parasites wiped out vines across the country. "We've brought success back to the vineyard over the years," she declared, "and every year there's these troubles... If it's not black measles, it's grape leaf grasshoppers, or root worms, oh, Dellas, who wants Be a grape grower?" "But how happy it is when the harvest is safe!" "You're right." Her eyes lit up at the thought, "You should have seen us back then, it was our moment of wild joy." "You wouldn't feel so joyful if it weren't for the continual danger." "That's true. Gaillard has never had a harvest like...you have to suffer before you can enjoy." I asked Gabriel how she was doing. "She's happy. Come to think of it, it's been Jake all along." "Are you surprised?" "Oh, I don't know. They've been friends since they were kids...and this girl suddenly becomes a woman. The boy becomes a man, and nature awaits them. Yes, I'm surprised Jake, Although I know she was in love, she became very absent-minded afterward. Oh! Well, that's it, now everything is happily settled, and Jake will do well in St. Valin. Now he will be like us here work, because the pests spread quickly, and it's just bad luck if it hits St. Valin, as Jac experienced." "It was very kind of the Earl to give St. Valin to Jacques just in time," I said. "It was just in time." "There are times when the good God testifies to us of his loving care." I went back to the castle with a heavy heart, and I assured myself that Gabriel must have talked to the earl about her plight, because she was pregnant with Jack's child, and he could not afford both wife and mother at the same time, so the earl sent St. to jack.Now Duran is too old to operate anyway, and of course that's the way it is. I've changed, I've become used to believing what I want to believe. Behind her simplicity, Lano was a shrewd woman, and I think she knew my growing feelings for the count.She was kind of close to me, I believe because I had what she thought was a good influence on Genevieve.She was a devoted nanny, and the only things that mattered were those that touched her handlers.So Franks must have been like that when she was alive. She was very pleased with my visits to her den, which I often did.She always had coffee waiting for me, and we sat and talked—almost always Franks and Guinevere. At a time when the whole district was worrying about black measles, Rano's only concern was pissed-off Genevieve, whose room seemed to be the only place that didn't talk about grapes. "I'm afraid she doesn't like Mr. Philip's wife," said Lano, looking at me anxiously from under her thick brows. "She's never liked the women in this house since..." I don't meet her eyes, I don't want to hear Rano tell me what I already know about the Count and Claude. I said briskly: "Her mother has been dead for a long time, and she must grow up from it." "It would be different if she had a brother, but now the Earl has brought Mr Philips here and married him to that woman..." I knew she was warning me when she saw me chatting with the Earl in the garden. "I dare say Philip is eager to marry," I said, "otherwise why should he? You speak as if..." "I said I knew it. The Earl would not remarry. He didn't like women." "I've heard rumors that he's very fond of them." "Like it! Oh no, miss." She said bitterly, "he never liked anyone. A man can take pleasure in people he despises. And he seems to have a nature, the more he despises, the more he gets." It's more fun if you understand what I'm saying, oh well, it's not about us, you're right to think so. But I hope you'll leave soon and forget about us." "I didn't see that far." "I don't think you have," she smiled intoxicatedly. "The castle itself is a small kingdom. I can't imagine living elsewhere... although I came here after Franks came." "It must be very different from Crawford." "Everything is different here." Remembering that the gloomy mansion was once Francise's home, I said, "Francoise must have been very happy when I first came here." "Francois has never been happy here, he doesn't care about her, you know." She looked at me eagerly, "He doesn't care about anyone...just uses others, he uses everyone...his Workers, who make wine... and us in the castle." I said angrily, "But isn't it always like this? It's impossible to expect a man to work in the vineyard by himself. Everyone has servants..." "You don't know me, ma'am, how can you? I say he doesn't love my Franks, it's an arranged marriage. Well, that's probably how they are, but there's good in this kind of marriage." .Some arrangements work out even better, but not this one. Franks came because his family thought she was a suitable wife, and she came in response to a family need. But she came, and he didn't Didn't care about her either. But she...she was young and sensitive...she didn't understand. So...she died. The count was a strange man, miss, don't misjudge that." "He...is different." She looked at me sadly and said, "I wish I could show you what she was like before and after, and I wish you knew her." "I also hope that." "There are some little books she used to write." "Yes, they give me an idea of what she is." "She writes in it all the time, and when she's unhappy, it's her greatest source of joy. Sometimes she'll read aloud to me, 'Do you remember this?' she'll say, and we'll laugh. In Crifford She's a naive young girl, but when she's married to the Earl, she has to learn so much and learn fast. How to be a mistress of a castle...but that's not all." "How did she feel when she first came here?" My eyes wandered to the chest where Lano kept her treasures, where there were boxes of embroidery that Franks gave her as a birthday present; Notebook, containing the life story of Francise, I want to read how the earl courted, I want to know that Francise, is not the young man who lives in the isolation of Crifford with his strict father and doting Lano Girl, but the wife of the man who has come to dominate my life. "When she's happy she doesn't write in little books," Lano said, "and when she first came here there was so much excitement... so much to do, I rarely even saw her." "So she was happy at first." "She was a child and she trusted life ... and people. She was told she was lucky and she believed it. She was told she was happy and she believed that." "Since when has she been unhappy?" Rano spread her hands and looked down at them, as if she hoped to find answers in them. "She started to understand very quickly that life wasn't what she thought it would be and then she had Genevieve and she had something to dream about. That was disappointing because everyone was hoping for a boy." "Did she talk to you, Lano?" "She told me everything before she got married." "It's gone after that?" Lano shook her head. "Only when I read..." She nodded toward the cabinet, "I understood. She's not a child anymore, she knows a lot...she suffers." "You mean he treated her badly?" Lano's mouth was grim. "She needs to be loved," she said. "And does she love him?" "She's afraid of him!" I was frightened by her excitement, "Why?" I asked, her lips trembled, and she turned around, I could see from her expression that she was thinking about the past. Then suddenly her mood changed, she said slowly: "At first, she was fascinated by him, it was a way for him to get along with some women." She seemed to have made up her mind, for she stood up abruptly and walked over to the cabinet.She took the key that she always hung around her waist and opened it.I saw that the notebooks were all neatly stacked together, and she picked one. "Read it," she said, "take it and read it, but don't let anyone see it... bring it back to me safely." I knew I should say no, I felt like I was peeking into not only her private life, but his as well.But, I can't, I have to know. Rano was worried about me, she believed that the count was interested in me to some extent, and she told me in a suggestive way that this man had brought his mistress home to marry her to his cousin, and that he was a murderer.She wanted to tell me that if I allowed myself to be involved with this man, I too would be in danger.That way, she couldn't tell, but she warned me, it was all the same. I went back to my room with that book, and I couldn't wait to read it.When I read it, I was disappointed, I was expecting a big dramatic reveal.The beginning of this book is not different from the ones I have read before, she has her own little flowerbed in the garden, where she grows her own flowers, and what a joy it is to grow flowers. "I hope Genevieve loves them as much as I do." "My first roses, I cut them and put them in a vase in my bedroom. Lano said flowers can't be left in a bedroom overnight because they suck all the air you need, I told her that was nonsense talk, but to please her, I asked her to take them away." I read the pages, searching vacantly for his name, and he wasn't mentioned until near the end of the book. "Losser came back from Paris today, and sometimes I think he despises me, and I know I'm not as bright as the people he met in Paris. I must really try to learn the things that interest him, politics and history, Literature and painting, I hope I don't find them so boring." "We're all going horseback riding today... Rosell, Genevieve and I, he's looking at Genevieve, I'm afraid she's going to fall, she's so nervous." "Rosell is gone, I'm not sure where, but I hope it's Paris, he didn't tell me." Her description of daily life went on, and it was not smooth, but she was satisfied.She seemed to be delighted by the Cmergentian event in the castle grounds, attended by all the vineyard workers, servants, and townspeople. "I made ten violet sachets...satin and silk...they were bought and Rano said if I had time to make them we could sell double the amount. Genevieve and I were at the stall Come on, we did a good job." "Genevieve and I were entertaining children at the castle today, we taught them catechism, and I wanted to let Genevieve understand the responsibilities of being the daughter of the lord of the castle. We talked about it later, and it was so peaceful. I love the evening when the night is low and Lano comes in and draws the shades and lights the lights. I remind her how much I love this time of day in Crifford when she comes in and closes the blinds at the end of the night so we can never Not really seeing the dark. When I told her this, she said: 'You're full of fantasies, Cabbage.' She hasn't called me 'Cabbage' since I got married." "Today I went to Crawford. Dad was very happy to see me. He said Losell should build a church for the poor and I should convince him to do it." "I mentioned the church to Losell and he asked me why they needed another when they already had a church in town. I told him that if they had a church close to the vineyard they could go in and pray whenever they wanted, which was For the good of their souls. Loser said that what they should care about when they are working is how to be good for grapes. I don’t know what dad will say next time I see him, he will dislike Loser even more than before.” "Papa said Loser should fire Lapin because he's an atheist, and he said that by continuing to hire Lapin, Loser absolved him of his sins and that he and his family should be sent away. When I told Loser Then he laughed and said that it was up to him to decide who would work for him, and that Jean Lapin's opinion was none of his business, nor my father's business. Sometimes I think Losell dislikes father so much that he would rather he hadn't married Me. And I know Papa wishes I never married Russell." "I went to Crawford today and Dad took me to his bedroom and made me kneel and pray with him. I pictured Dad's bedroom, it was like a prison. Kneeling on the flagstones was so cold, I felt cramp after a while .. how can he sleep on this hard bed with nothing but straw? The cross on the wall is the only thing that shines here, and there is nothing in the room but a hard bed and prayer chair. Dad and I after our prayers Speaking, I feel distressed... guilty." "Rosell came back today and I was terrified. I felt like I'd scream if he came near me. He said: 'What's the matter with you?' I couldn't tell him how scared I was of him. He walked out of the room and I Believe he was very angry. I think Loser started to hate me, how different I was from the woman he liked...the woman I believe was with him in Paris. I imagined them wearing see-through gowns, laughing and drinking wine... …loose women…happy and voluptuous. It’s horrible.” "Last night I was terrified, I thought he was coming into my room. I heard his footsteps outside, he stopped at the door and waited, I thought I was going to scream in terror, ... but then he left. " I have come to the last article of this book. What does it mean?Why is Francise so afraid of her husband?Why did Rano show me this book?If she wanted me to know Franks' life story, why didn't she give me the whole book?I know there are others out there, does it mean that Lano knows the secrets of Francise's life can be revealed through these books, and she knows the secret of her death?Is that why she warned me to leave the castle?I took the book back to Rano the next day. "Why did you make me read this book?" I asked. "You said you wanted to meet her." "I don't think I knew her any more than I used to. Do you have any other books? Did she write until she died?" "She didn't write anything after she finished the book, and I used to say to her, 'Franks, sweetheart, why don't you write something in your little notebook?' and she'd say, 'There's nothing good right now. Written, Lano.' When I said: 'Nonsense!' she berated me and said I wanted to peep. It was the first time she said that, and I knew she was afraid to write what she felt." "But why is she afraid?" "We don't all have thoughts that we don't want people to know." "You mean she doesn't want her husband to know she's afraid of him?" She smiled, and I went on: "Why is she afraid of him? You know, Rano?" She pursed her lips tightly, as if nothing in the world could make her speak. But I know that there are some dark secrets there, and I believe that if she didn't think I was of some use to Genevieve, she would have told me to leave the castle because she was afraid of me, but I know that for Genevieve She would willingly sacrifice me for Wei's sake. She knew something about the count and tried to tell me, did she know he killed his wife? The desire to know everything turned into a stubborn idea, but it was not only a desire to know everything, but a desperate need to prove his innocence.
We were riding, and Genevieve, in her very slow English, told me that she had received the trash. "She seems to have become an important person, miss. I will show you her letter later." "I'm so glad she's settled in happily." "Yes, she was with Mrs. Terracond, and Mrs. Terracond admired her very much. They lived in a nice mansion, not as old and more refined as ours. Mrs. Terracond had a bridge party, old Waste often joins them to help count, which gives her the opportunity to join the local society, which is her right." "Well, the ending is happy, everything is happy." "And, miss, you must be glad to know that Mrs. Terracond has a nephew, a charming man, who loves trash very much. I must show you her letter. She is so shy when she writes about him. I sincerely I believe she is expected to become a nephew's wife in the near future." "Well, I'm very glad, and I think of her from time to time. It's all because of your naughtiness that she got dismissed so suddenly." "She mentioned Dad and she said she was very grateful that he had found her such a desirable position." "He... found it?" "Of course, he arranged for her to be with Mrs. Terracond. He won't throw her out, or will he?" "No," I said firmly, "he won't kick her out." It was a very happy morning. The mood was visibly lighter during the following week, with the black measles defeated and joy restored to the vineyards and towns that were expecting success. Invitations were sent to the castle to attend a distant wedding, and the count said he was too badly bruised to go—he still carried his cane—and that Philip and his wife were bound to represent the line of their family. Dauclaudi and I hated and hated the idea of leaving the count in the castle, and I was in a small walled garden when she and the count walked by.We didn't see each other, but I heard their voices—her voice was recognizable because it was an octave higher, and she could hear clearly when she was angry. "They're expecting you!" "They will understand. You and Philip will explain my accident." "Accident! A little scratch!" He said something I didn't hear, and then she continued: "Loselle...please." "My dear, I will stay here." "You don't listen to me now, you seem to..." His voice was low, almost reassuring, and before he could finish, they were out of my hearing range.Undoubtedly there was a connection between them, I thought sadly. But when Claude and Philippe went to Paris, I put aside my doubts and fears to enjoy Claude's absence. The days are long and sunny, the grapes are in bloom, and each day I wake up with a sense of participation.I've never been happier in my life, but I know the credibility of my happy April days, and I can make some amazing discoveries, and I can be repelled.In a moment the sky can darken and the sun can be completely covered, so enjoy the sun while it's there. When Philippe and Claude left, the count visited the gallery more frequently, and sometimes I fancied that he was running away from something, which I pursued and longed to find out.A few times I caught glimpses of different people behind his sarcastic grin, and I even had the idea that he enjoyed such meetings as much as I did. When he leaves me, I will return to my senses, smile to myself and ask: How long are you going to deceive yourself? I have a simple explanation for what happened: no one in the castle pleased him, so he came to me, and my enthusiasm for the job.I must keep this in mind. Besides, he is interested in painting and knowledgeable.I recall the sentimental passages in Franks' diary, where she must have tried to learn what interested him.Poor little frightened Francise, why is she frightened? Sometimes his face would come down with an evil sullenness, which I imagined might frighten a weak, innocent woman.He might even be slightly sadistic, as if he enjoys being sarcastic and making others uncomfortable.But those expressions of his seemed to me like some kind of surface of life, covering his true nature—like a painting is marred by lack of care.I believe that paintings can reproduce their original beauty through restoration, and so can character, but it must have an understanding of the painting, a confident but humble attitude, and even the ability to paint before attempting to restore a person. I'm proud, like a governess as Genevieve said.Did I really think I could change a person just because I could restore a painting to its former glory? But I was deluded by the longing to know him, to explore after that ironic mask, to change that mouth that had a certain bitter taste, but before I could get there... I had to know my object. How did he feel about the woman he was once married to?He ruined her life, did she ruin his?How can one know everything when the past is hidden in secrecy? Life is empty when I don't see him.And those encounters seemed very short, leaving me with a joy that I had never experienced in my life. We talked about the paintings, the castle, the history of the place, and the glory days of the castle during the reign of Louis XIV and XV. "Then the change came and nothing was the same as it was before, Miss Lawson. 'The revolution was like a flood.' The flood came, said Louis XV, and carried his successors to the guillotine, and many of us with him Take away, my own great-great-grandfather was one of them. We were lucky not to lose our property, as we would have if we had been closer to Paris. But you read about the miracle of St. Genevieve and how she saved us from disaster." He said lightly, "You're thinking maybe we're not worth saving." "I wasn't thinking about that. I was actually thinking about how sad it would be for someone else's property to fall into the wrong hands. It would be interesting to go back hundreds of years with family history." "Maybe the Great Revolution did something good. If they didn't invade the castle and destroy the paintings, we wouldn't need your services." I shrugged. "If the pictures aren't damaged, they certainly don't need restoration, they might need cleaning..." "But you might not come here, Miss Lawson, think about it." "I'm sure the Revolution was a greater tragedy than this." He smiled, and now he was different.It was a beautiful moment when I caught a glimpse of a relaxed person under the mask. When Philip and Claude were away, I joined him and Genevieve for dinner every night.We had a lively conversation, and Genevieve watched with a puzzled expression, but the attempts to enlist her hadn't been too successful, and she, like her mother, seemed afraid of him. Then, one evening when we went down to dinner he wasn't there.He didn't leave a message saying he was coming down, but after we waited twenty minutes, dinner was brought and we ate alone. I find it disturbing, I keep fantasizing about him being wounded and down in the woods or worse, if someone tried to kill him and failed, wouldn't it make sense for them to try again? I tried to eat, tried to hide my uneasiness, and Genevieve didn't share my worries.I'm happy when I can go back to my room and be alone. I walked back and forth, sat by the window, I couldn't rest.There was a crazy moment where I wanted to go to the stables and lead a horse to find him.How can I do this at night?What right do I have to meddle in his affairs? Of course, I reminded myself, the Count, who was like a dear companion to me, was a weak and sick man.He has recovered from the accident and asked me to replace his friend when he was trapped in the castle. Why didn't I see this clearly? 我入睡时已黎明，女仆送早餐到我房里来时，我怀着一份暗暗的焦虑看着她是否听到任何坏消息，但是她像以往般的平静。 我来到画廊感到又累又紧张，没有心情工作。不过我告诉自己如果有任何事不对劲，我早该听说了。 我到那里没多久，他就进了画廊。我看到他时吃了一惊，而他则奇怪的看着我。我不假思索的说：“噢……那么你没事吧？” 他面无表情，却仔细端详我。 “我很抱歉昨晚晚餐时未与你碰面。”他说。 “噢……是的，我……猜想……”我是怎么一回事？我竟然像我向来轻视的傻女孩似的结结巴巴。 他不停的看着我，我肯定他已察觉到失眠的痕迹。我真是个笨蛋！他出去拜访朋友时，我期待他向我解释吗？当然他会出去，因为他的意外，他只有将自己困在古堡中。 “我相信，”他说，“你关心我的安全。” 他知道我的感觉状态一如——或许更胜于——我自己的了解吗？ “告诉我，你是否想像我被射穿心脏……不，头部，因为我相信你会偷偷的认为，劳森小姐，我的心是块石头。某方面来说是个优点，子弹打不穿石头。” 我知道否认我的关心是没有用的，所以我在答覆时默默的承认：“如果你曾被射杀一次，这似乎很合理去想像它再度发生。” “那就太巧合了，你不以为吗？一个人射兔子时正好射中我的马，这是一种一生只会发生一次的事，而你却期待在几星期内发生两次。” “那兔子理论也许不是事实。” 他坐在那幅他祖先戴着绿宝石的画像下的沙发上，端详着坐在高凳上的我：“你在那儿舒服吗，劳森小姐？” “谢谢你。”我可以感觉到活力又回到我的身体，每一件事又令我快乐了，现在我只有一个恐惧，我泄露自己了吗？ “我们谈过绘画、古堡、老家族、大革命，但是从未提过我们自己。”他近乎温柔的说。 “我确信那些主题都比我个人有趣多了。” “你真的那么想吗？” 我耸耸肩——我从我周围的人那儿学得的一个习惯，对一个困难的问题这是个很好的替代答案。 “我所知道的就是你父亲去世，你替代他的职位。” “没有什么好知道的，我的生活就像许多与我同阶级同处境的人一样。” “你从未结婚，我在想为什么。” “我也许会像那个英国卖牛奶的女孩般回答，'没人求婚，先生。'她说。” “我觉得这个非比寻常，我确定你可以成为某个幸运男人的最佳妻子，只要想像一下你会多有用，他的图画可以一直保持完美状况。” “如果他没有一幅怎么办？” “我确信你很快就会补救这个疏漏。” 我不喜欢这个会话中的诙谐，我想像他在开我玩笑，从我的新感情观点，在这个主题上我不在意被讽刺。 “我很惊讶你竟然拥护婚姻。”话一出口，我立刻希望我没说。我脸红并口吃：“我很抱歉……” 他微笑，讽刺消失了。 “我不惊讶你会吃惊。告诉我D代表什么？D劳森小姐，我想知道，它是个不普遍的名字。” 我解释我父亲叫戴尼尔、我母亲叫艾丽丝。 “戴拉丝，”他重覆我的名字，“你在笑？” “是你说它的方式……重音放在最后一个音节，我们把它放在第一音节。” 他又试一遍，对我微笑着，“戴拉丝，戴拉丝。”他让我觉得他喜欢叫它。“你自己有个不普通的名字。” “自从第一个法兰克王之后……我的家族多年来沿用它，我们曾是王室，你知道，我们偶尔有一个路易、一个查尔斯、一个亨利，但是我们一定有我们的洛塞尔。现在让我告诉你，你多错误的读我的名字。” 我说了它，他笑了，叫我再说一次。 “非常好，戴拉丝，”他说，“不过你做的每一件事都做的很好。” 我告诉他我的双亲，以及我如何帮父亲工作。多少它变得主宰了我的生活，让我在婚姻之外，他提到这个。 “或许这样比较好，”他说，“那些未婚的人后悔错失了它，但是那些已经有了的，经常更加悔恨。他们渴望及时回头，未曾做过已做的事。嗯，那就是生活，不是吗？” “也许就是这样。” “以我自己为例，我二十岁时和一个为我选好的女人结婚，我们的家族就是如此，你知道。” "yes." “这些婚姻通常是成功的。” “而你的是吗？”我的声音近似耳语。 他没有回答，我快快的说：“我很抱歉，我太无礼了。” “不，你该知道。” 我在想为什么，接着我的心脏开始不安的跳着。 “不，这个婚姻不成功，我想我没有能力做个好丈夫。” “当然一个男人可以……如果他想的话。” “劳森小姐，一个自私、不能容忍、没有耐性又滥交的男人可以成为一个好丈夫？” “只要停止自私、不能容忍等等。” “而你认为一个人可以关掉这些令人不悦的特质就像关水龙头？” “我想一个人可以试着压抑它们。” 他突然笑了，我觉得很愚笨。 “我逗乐你了？”我冷冷的说，“你要听意见，我说了。” “这绝对是实情，当然，只要我能伸展我的想像力去想像你拥有令人不悦的性格，我就能够想像出你可以压抑它们。你知道我的婚姻是多不幸的结束。” I nod. “我当丈夫的经验说服我，我该永远放弃这个角色。” “也许你很明智做了这个决定。” “我相信你会同意。” 我知道他是什么意思，如果他的疑虑是对的，我让自己对他的感情变得太深，我该受到警告。我觉得羞辱及受伤，我迅速的说：“我对我注意到的一些古堡墙面有兴趣，它让我想到在那石灰漆下也许有一些壁画。” “噢？”他说，我想他对我说的话没有注意听。 “我记得我父亲在诺森伯兰一幢古老大厦的墙上有个奇迹式的发现，它是一幅很棒的画被隐藏了几世纪，我觉得这儿必定有类似的发现。” “发现？”他重覆的说，“是吗？” What was he thinking about?和法兰可丝暴乱的婚姻生活？但是它曾暴乱吗？深深的不快乐、全然的不满意，因此他决定绝不再冒这种风险。 我意识到一股强烈的热情淹没了我，我想：我能做什么？我怎能丢下这个，回到英国……回到一个没有一个充满秘密古堡，一个我渴望恢复快乐的伯爵的新生活。 “我想要贴近看那些墙壁。”我继续说。 他几乎发怒的说，好像要否认他前面说的一切事物：“戴拉丝，我的古堡和我自己任你处置。”
The next day I couldn't help but go to see Gabriela. She had changed since the last time I saw her.Her manner was tense, but she was delighted when I complimented her on the charm of her new home. "It's far more than I dared to ask for," she said. "Do you feel all right?" "Yes, I've seen Ms. Currie, she's a midwife, you know. She's very satisfied, and there's only one thing to do now is to wait. Mom, and Jack's mother is always by my side and treats me very well." "Do you want a boy or a girl?" "Boy, I think everyone likes first-born boys." I pictured him playing in the garden... A sturdy little fellow, would he have the blood of the Castle? "What about Jack?" She blushed. "Oh, he's happy too, very happy." "How lucky...it all worked out." "Monsieur Earl is very kind." "Not everyone felt that way, at least not the guy who shot him." She clasped her hands together, "You think this is by design, you don't think..." "He was lucky to escape. It must have been a shock to you that it happened... so close to you." As soon as I said it, I immediately felt ashamed of myself.For I knew that if my suspicions about the Count and Gabriela had any basis, I must have wounded her terribly.I have no intention of probing other people's motives, I just need to be sure.Hadn't Mrs. Radelle already hinted that the Count had reasons to help Gabriel get married?Who else has the same idea?I want to know if the Earl is the father of her child. But she wasn't angry at what I said, which pleased me because she didn't seem to realize the implications, and I'm sure if she felt ashamed, she would react that way immediately. She said, "Yeah, it was a big scare, luckily Jake wasn't far away, and he found the man with the stretcher." Still, I'm going to do my research, "Do you think the count has enemies here?" "Oh, that was an accident," she said quickly. "Then," I emphasized, "he's not hurt." "I'm so thankful for everything!" There were tears in her eyes, and I wondered if they were tears of gratitude, or something deeper. Walking in the garden a few days later, I met the count face to face.I was wandering in the middle level of the garden with its ornamental garden and box hedges separating the ornamental lawn when I spotted him sitting on a stone bench looking out over a lotus pond where goldfish were clearly visible. The sun was so hot in the enclosed garden that at first I thought he was asleep.I watched the scenery for a while, and was about to leave when I heard him call me: "Miss Lawson." "I hope I didn't bother you." "It's an honor to be interrupted, please come and sit for a while." I went to the chair and sat beside him. "I haven't thanked you enough for your swift action in the woods." "I'm afraid I haven't done anything worthy of praise." "Your quickness of action is commendable." "I just did what anyone would do in that situation, do you feel recovered now?" "Absolutely, away from the muscle strain. I've heard it's going to be over in a week or so, and at the moment, I'm limping on my cane." I watched him hold an ivory-tipped cane in his jade-carved signet ring, and he was like a traditional French man who doesn't wear a wedding ring, and I wondered if he just happened to be conforming to tradition or had a meaning. He looked at me and said, "You look . . . contented, Miss Lawson." I was flabbergasted, and I wondered how much emotion I was giving away.It's very important for me not to reveal anything right now, I have something to hide. "This sight," I said quickly, "the warm sunshine...the flowers, the fountain...it's beautiful! Who wouldn't be satisfied in this garden? What are the statues in the pool?" "Persius saved Andromeda, a very pleasing work. You must take a close look at it. It was completed by a sculptor brought to the castle by my ancestors two hundred years ago. It will especially please you." "Why so special?" "I see you as a female Perseus, saving art from the dragons of damage, age, art destroyers." "That's a very poetic imagination, you surprised me." "I'm not as worldly as you think. After you gave me a few lessons in the gallery, I've become more knowledgeable. Just wait and see." "I believe you have no intention of acquiring knowledge that is of no use to you." "I've always understood that all knowledge is useful." "Some will be slightly better, and one cannot acquire them all, and it is a waste of time to fill one's mind with knowledge that is not practical ... spending too much on it." He raised his shoulders and smiled.I went on: "It might be useful knowledge to know who caused that accident in the woods." "You think so?" "Of course, what if it happens again?" "Then it could be an unfortunate ending...or a lucky one, of course, it all depends on which angle you look at it from." "I found your attitude to be extraordinary. You don't seem to care that your murderer has not been found." "How? My dear Miss Lawson, there have been countless inquiries. It is not as easy as you think to trace a bullet. There are guns in nearly every farmhouse. There are rabbits all around, and they do damage. , and it's a delicacy in the pot, shooting them has never been restrained." "If someone is shooting a rabbit, why don't they explain it?" "What! Because they killed my horse by mistake." "So someone was hunting in the woods and the bullet hit the tree and killed the horse. Didn't the guy with the gun know you were in the woods?" "Let's say he...or she doesn't know." "So you accept the theory that it was an accident." "Why not, since it's a sound theory?" "It's a reassuring theory, but I don't think you're the type to accept a theory because it's reassuring." "Maybe you'll change your mind when you get to know me better." He smiled at me. "It's lovely here. I hope you have no other plans. If not, can you stay and talk for a while? Then I can take you Go to the pond and you can get a close look at Perseus, it's a little masterpiece. The look of determination on his face is extraordinary, and of course he decided to kill the monster. Now talk to me about the pictures, they're progressing How? You're such a worker, and in a short time you'll be done with the gallery work, our pictures will look as they were when they were first painted. It's incredible, Miss Lawson." I talked about the pictures, and after a while we looked at the statues, and then we went back to the castle together. Our speed across the flower beds was inevitably slow, and when we entered the old castle, I think I saw the classroom windows move, and I guess who is watching us-Rano or Genevieve? The momentary curiosity caused by the Earl's accident vanished, for the vines were in danger, and their rapid growth would now reach the peak of growth, which would have been about the time of early summer when the black measles were rare. The news spread quickly throughout the town and castle. I went to Mrs. Busted's to find out what was going on, and she was as troubled as Gabriel's. As we sat down to drink coffee, she told me what kind of damage black measles can do, and if it isn't contained it can infect an entire field—maybe not only this year but the next. Champier and his father worked late into the night, and the vines were sprayed with sodium arsenite, and too much of the solvent could be harmful, and too little would kill the pests. "That's life," Mrs. Bastedt said with a philosophical shrug, and went on to tell me more about the catastrophe when grapevine parasites wiped out vines across the country. "We've brought success back to the vineyard over the years," she declared, "and every year there's these troubles... If it's not black measles, it's grape leaf grasshoppers, or root worms, oh, Dellas, who wants Be a grape grower?" "But how happy it is when the harvest is safe!" "You're right." Her eyes lit up at the thought, "You should have seen us back then, it was our moment of wild joy." "You wouldn't feel so joyful if it weren't for the continual danger." "That's true. Gaillard has never had a harvest like...you have to suffer before you can enjoy." I asked Gabriel how she was doing. "She's happy. Come to think of it, it's been Jake all along." "Are you surprised?" "Oh, I don't know. They've been friends since they were kids...and this girl suddenly becomes a woman. The boy becomes a man, and nature awaits them. Yes, I'm surprised Jake, Although I know she was in love, she became very absent-minded afterward. Oh! Well, that's it, now everything is happily settled, and Jake will do well in St. Valin. Now he will be like us here work, because the pests spread quickly, and it's just bad luck if it hits St. Valin, as Jac experienced." "It was very kind of the Earl to give St. Valin to Jacques just in time," I said. "It was just in time." "There are times when the good God testifies to us of his loving care." I went back to the castle with a heavy heart, and I assured myself that Gabriel must have talked to the earl about her plight, because she was pregnant with Jack's child, and he could not afford both wife and mother at the same time, so the earl sent St. to jack.Now Duran is too old to operate anyway, and of course that's the way it is. I've changed, I've become used to believing what I want to believe. Behind her simplicity, Lano was a shrewd woman, and I think she knew my growing feelings for the count.She was kind of close to me, I believe because I had what she thought was a good influence on Genevieve.She was a devoted nanny, and the only things that mattered were those that touched her handlers.So Franks must have been like that when she was alive. She was very pleased with my visits to her den, which I often did.She always had coffee waiting for me, and we sat and talked—almost always Franks and Guinevere. At a time when the whole district was worrying about black measles, Rano's only concern was pissed-off Genevieve, whose room seemed to be the only place that didn't talk about grapes. "I'm afraid she doesn't like Mr. Philip's wife," said Lano, looking at me anxiously from under her thick brows. "She's never liked the women in this house since..." I don't meet her eyes, I don't want to hear Rano tell me what I already know about the Count and Claude. I said briskly: "Her mother has been dead for a long time, and she must grow up from it." "It would be different if she had a brother, but now the Earl has brought Mr Philips here and married him to that woman..." I knew she was warning me when she saw me chatting with the Earl in the garden. "I dare say Philip is eager to marry," I said, "otherwise why should he? You speak as if..." "I said I knew it. The Earl would not remarry. He didn't like women." "I've heard rumors that he's very fond of them." "Like it! Oh no, miss." She said bitterly, "he never liked anyone. A man can take pleasure in people he despises. And he seems to have a nature, the more he despises, the more he gets." It's more fun if you understand what I'm saying, oh well, it's not about us, you're right to think so. But I hope you'll leave soon and forget about us." "I didn't see that far." "I don't think you have," she smiled intoxicatedly. "The castle itself is a small kingdom. I can't imagine living elsewhere... although I came here after Franks came." "It must be very different from Crawford." "Everything is different here." Remembering that the gloomy mansion was once Francise's home, I said, "Francoise must have been very happy when I first came here." "Francois has never been happy here, he doesn't care about her, you know." She looked at me eagerly, "He doesn't care about anyone...just uses others, he uses everyone...his Workers, who make wine... and us in the castle." I said angrily, "But isn't it always like this? It's impossible to expect a man to work in the vineyard by himself. Everyone has servants..." "You don't know me, ma'am, how can you? I say he doesn't love my Franks, it's an arranged marriage. Well, that's probably how they are, but there's good in this kind of marriage." .Some arrangements work out even better, but not this one. Franks came because his family thought she was a suitable wife, and she came in response to a family need. But she came, and he didn't Didn't care about her either. But she...she was young and sensitive...she didn't understand. So...she died. The count was a strange man, miss, don't misjudge that." "He...is different." She looked at me sadly and said, "I wish I could show you what she was like before and after, and I wish you knew her." "I also hope that." "There are some little books she used to write." "Yes, they give me an idea of what she is." "She writes in it all the time, and when she's unhappy, it's her greatest source of joy. Sometimes she'll read aloud to me, 'Do you remember this?' she'll say, and we'll laugh. In Crifford She's a naive young girl, but when she's married to the Earl, she has to learn so much and learn fast. How to be a mistress of a castle...but that's not all." "How did she feel when she first came here?" My eyes wandered to the chest where Lano kept her treasures, where there were boxes of embroidery that Franks gave her as a birthday present; Notebook, containing the life story of Francise, I want to read how the earl courted, I want to know that Francise, is not the young man who lives in the isolation of Crifford with his strict father and doting Lano Girl, but the wife of the man who has come to dominate my life. "When she's happy she doesn't write in little books," Lano said, "and when she first came here there was so much excitement... so much to do, I rarely even saw her." "So she was happy at first." "She was a child and she trusted life ... and people. She was told she was lucky and she believed it. She was told she was happy and she believed that." "Since when has she been unhappy?" Rano spread her hands and looked down at them, as if she hoped to find answers in them. "She started to understand very quickly that life wasn't what she thought it would be and then she had Genevieve and she had something to dream about. That was disappointing because everyone was hoping for a boy." "Did she talk to you, Lano?" "She told me everything before she got married." "It's gone after that?" Lano shook her head. "Only when I read..." She nodded toward the cabinet, "I understood. She's not a child anymore, she knows a lot...she suffers." "You mean he treated her badly?" Lano's mouth was grim. "She needs to be loved," she said. "And does she love him?" "She's afraid of him!" I was frightened by her excitement, "Why?" I asked, her lips trembled, and she turned around, I could see from her expression that she was thinking about the past. Then suddenly her mood changed, she said slowly: "At first, she was fascinated by him, it was a way for him to get along with some women." She seemed to have made up her mind, for she stood up abruptly and walked over to the cabinet.She took the key that she always hung around her waist and opened it.I saw that the notebooks were all neatly stacked together, and she picked one. "Read it," she said, "take it and read it, but don't let anyone see it... bring it back to me safely." I knew I should say no, I felt like I was peeking into not only her private life, but his as well.But, I can't, I have to know. Rano was worried about me, she believed that the count was interested in me to some extent, and she told me in a suggestive way that this man had brought his mistress home to marry her to his cousin, and that he was a murderer.She wanted to tell me that if I allowed myself to be involved with this man, I too would be in danger.That way, she couldn't tell, but she warned me, it was all the same. I went back to my room with that book, and I couldn't wait to read it.When I read it, I was disappointed, I was expecting a big dramatic reveal.The beginning of this book is not different from the ones I have read before, she has her own little flowerbed in the garden, where she grows her own flowers, and what a joy it is to grow flowers. "I hope Genevieve loves them as much as I do." "My first roses, I cut them and put them in a vase in my bedroom. Lano said flowers can't be left in a bedroom overnight because they suck all the air you need, I told her that was nonsense talk, but to please her, I asked her to take them away." I read the pages, searching vacantly for his name, and he wasn't mentioned until near the end of the book. "Losser came back from Paris today, and sometimes I think he despises me, and I know I'm not as bright as the people he met in Paris. I must really try to learn the things that interest him, politics and history, Literature and painting, I hope I don't find them so boring." "We're all going horseback riding today... Rosell, Genevieve and I, he's looking at Genevieve, I'm afraid she's going to fall, she's so nervous." "Rosell is gone, I'm not sure where, but I hope it's Paris, he didn't tell me." Her description of daily life went on, and it was not smooth, but she was satisfied.She seemed to be delighted by the Cmergentian event in the castle grounds, attended by all the vineyard workers, servants, and townspeople. "I made ten violet sachets...satin and silk...they were bought and Rano said if I had time to make them we could sell double the amount. Genevieve and I were at the stall Come on, we did a good job." "Genevieve and I were entertaining children at the castle today, we taught them catechism, and I wanted to let Genevieve understand the responsibilities of being the daughter of the lord of the castle. We talked about it later, and it was so peaceful. I love the evening when the night is low and Lano comes in and draws the shades and lights the lights. I remind her how much I love this time of day in Crifford when she comes in and closes the blinds at the end of the night so we can never Not really seeing the dark. When I told her this, she said: 'You're full of fantasies, Cabbage.' She hasn't called me 'Cabbage' since I got married." "Today I went to Crawford. Dad was very happy to see me. He said Losell should build a church for the poor and I should convince him to do it." "I mentioned the church to Losell and he asked me why they needed another when they already had a church in town. I told him that if they had a church close to the vineyard they could go in and pray whenever they wanted, which was For the good of their souls. Loser said that what they should care about when they are working is how to be good for grapes. I don’t know what dad will say next time I see him, he will dislike Loser even more than before.” "Papa said Loser should fire Lapin because he's an atheist, and he said that by continuing to hire Lapin, Loser absolved him of his sins and that he and his family should be sent away. When I told Loser Then he laughed and said that it was up to him to decide who would work for him, and that Jean Lapin's opinion was none of his business, nor my father's business. Sometimes I think Losell dislikes father so much that he would rather he hadn't married Me. And I know Papa wishes I never married Russell." "I went to Crawford today and Dad took me to his bedroom and made me kneel and pray with him. I pictured Dad's bedroom, it was like a prison. Kneeling on the flagstones was so cold, I felt cramp after a while .. how can he sleep on this hard bed with nothing but straw? The cross on the wall is the only thing that shines here, and there is nothing in the room but a hard bed and prayer chair. Dad and I after our prayers Speaking, I feel distressed... guilty." "Rosell came back today and I was terrified. I felt like I'd scream if he came near me. He said: 'What's the matter with you?' I couldn't tell him how scared I was of him. He walked out of the room and I Believe he was very angry. I think Loser started to hate me, how different I was from the woman he liked...the woman I believe was with him in Paris. I imagined them wearing see-through gowns, laughing and drinking wine... …loose women…happy and voluptuous. It’s horrible.” "Last night I was terrified, I thought he was coming into my room. I heard his footsteps outside, he stopped at the door and waited, I thought I was going to scream in terror, ... but then he left. " I have come to the last article of this book. What does it mean?Why is Francise so afraid of her husband?Why did Rano show me this book?If she wanted me to know Franks' life story, why didn't she give me the whole book?I know there are others out there, does it mean that Lano knows the secrets of Francise's life can be revealed through these books, and she knows the secret of her death?Is that why she warned me to leave the castle?I took the book back to Rano the next day. "Why did you make me read this book?" I asked. "You said you wanted to meet her." "I don't think I knew her any more than I used to. Do you have any other books? Did she write until she died?" "She didn't write anything after she finished the book, and I used to say to her, 'Franks, sweetheart, why don't you write something in your little notebook?' and she'd say, 'There's nothing good right now. Written, Lano.' When I said: 'Nonsense!' she berated me and said I wanted to peep. It was the first time she said that, and I knew she was afraid to write what she felt." "But why is she afraid?" "We don't all have thoughts that we don't want people to know." "You mean she doesn't want her husband to know she's afraid of him?" She smiled, and I went on: "Why is she afraid of him? You know, Rano?" She pursed her lips tightly, as if nothing in the world could make her speak. But I know that there are some dark secrets there, and I believe that if she didn't think I was of some use to Genevieve, she would have told me to leave the castle because she was afraid of me, but I know that for Genevieve She would willingly sacrifice me for Wei's sake. She knew something about the count and tried to tell me, did she know he killed his wife? The desire to know everything turned into a stubborn idea, but it was not only a desire to know everything, but a desperate need to prove his innocence.
We were riding, and Genevieve, in her very slow English, told me that she had received the trash. "She seems to have become an important person, miss. I will show you her letter later." "I'm so glad she's settled in happily." "Yes, she was with Mrs. Terracond, and Mrs. Terracond admired her very much. They lived in a nice mansion, not as old and more refined as ours. Mrs. Terracond had a bridge party, old Waste often joins them to help count, which gives her the opportunity to join the local society, which is her right." "Well, the ending is happy, everything is happy." "And, miss, you must be glad to know that Mrs. Terracond has a nephew, a charming man, who loves trash very much. I must show you her letter. She is so shy when she writes about him. I sincerely I believe she is expected to become a nephew's wife in the near future." "Well, I'm very glad, and I think of her from time to time. It's all because of your naughtiness that she got dismissed so suddenly." "She mentioned Dad and she said she was very grateful that he had found her such a desirable position." "He... found it?" "Of course, he arranged for her to be with Mrs. Terracond. He won't throw her out, or will he?" "No," I said firmly, "he won't kick her out." It was a very happy morning. The mood was visibly lighter during the following week, with the black measles defeated and joy restored to the vineyards and towns that were expecting success. Invitations were sent to the castle to attend a distant wedding, and the count said he was too badly bruised to go—he still carried his cane—and that Philip and his wife were bound to represent the line of their family. Dauclaudi and I hated and hated the idea of leaving the count in the castle, and I was in a small walled garden when she and the count walked by.We didn't see each other, but I heard their voices—her voice was recognizable because it was an octave higher, and she could hear clearly when she was angry. "They're expecting you!" "They will understand. You and Philip will explain my accident." "Accident! A little scratch!" He said something I didn't hear, and then she continued: "Loselle...please." "My dear, I will stay here." "You don't listen to me now, you seem to..." His voice was low, almost reassuring, and before he could finish, they were out of my hearing range.Undoubtedly there was a connection between them, I thought sadly. But when Claude and Philippe went to Paris, I put aside my doubts and fears to enjoy Claude's absence. The days are long and sunny, the grapes are in bloom, and each day I wake up with a sense of participation.I've never been happier in my life, but I know the credibility of my happy April days, and I can make some amazing discoveries, and I can be repelled.In a moment the sky can darken and the sun can be completely covered, so enjoy the sun while it's there. When Philippe and Claude left, the count visited the gallery more frequently, and sometimes I fancied that he was running away from something, which I pursued and longed to find out.A few times I caught glimpses of different people behind his sarcastic grin, and I even had the idea that he enjoyed such meetings as much as I did. When he leaves me, I will return to my senses, smile to myself and ask: How long are you going to deceive yourself? I have a simple explanation for what happened: no one in the castle pleased him, so he came to me, and my enthusiasm for the job.I must keep this in mind. Besides, he is interested in painting and knowledgeable.I recall the sentimental passages in Franks' diary, where she must have tried to learn what interested him.Poor little frightened Francise, why is she frightened? Sometimes his face would come down with an evil sullenness, which I imagined might frighten a weak, innocent woman.He might even be slightly sadistic, as if he enjoys being sarcastic and making others uncomfortable.But those expressions of his seemed to me like some kind of surface of life, covering his true nature—like a painting is marred by lack of care.I believe that paintings can reproduce their original beauty through restoration, and so can character, but it must have an understanding of the painting, a confident but humble attitude, and even the ability to paint before attempting to restore a person. I'm proud, like a governess as Genevieve said.Did I really think I could change a person just because I could restore a painting to its former glory? But I was deluded by the longing to know him, to explore after that ironic mask, to change that mouth that had a certain bitter taste, but before I could get there... I had to know my object. How did he feel about the woman he was once married to?He ruined her life, did she ruin his?How can one know everything when the past is hidden in secrecy? Life is empty when I don't see him.And those encounters seemed very short, leaving me with a joy that I had never experienced in my life. We talked about the paintings, the castle, the history of the place, and the glory days of the castle during the reign of Louis XIV and XV. "Then the change came and nothing was the same as it was before, Miss Lawson. 'The revolution was like a flood.' The flood came, said Louis XV, and carried his successors to the guillotine, and many of us with him Take away, my own great-great-grandfather was one of them. We were lucky not to lose our property, as we would have if we had been closer to Paris. But you read about the miracle of St. Genevieve and how she saved us from disaster." He said lightly, "You're thinking maybe we're not worth saving." "I wasn't thinking about that. I was actually thinking about how sad it would be for someone else's property to fall into the wrong hands. It would be interesting to go back hundreds of years with family history." "Maybe the Great Revolution did something good. If they didn't invade the castle and destroy the paintings, we wouldn't need your services." I shrugged. "If the pictures aren't damaged, they certainly don't need restoration, they might need cleaning..." "But you might not come here, Miss Lawson, think about it." "I'm sure the Revolution was a greater tragedy than this." He smiled, and now he was different.It was a beautiful moment when I caught a glimpse of a relaxed person under the mask. When Philip and Claude were away, I joined him and Genevieve for dinner every night.We had a lively conversation, and Genevieve watched with a puzzled expression, but the attempts to enlist her hadn't been too successful, and she, like her mother, seemed afraid of him. Then, one evening when we went down to dinner he wasn't there.He didn't leave a message saying he was coming down, but after we waited twenty minutes, dinner was brought and we ate alone. I find it disturbing, I keep fantasizing about him being wounded and down in the woods or worse, if someone tried to kill him and failed, wouldn't it make sense for them to try again? I tried to eat, tried to hide my uneasiness, and Genevieve didn't share my worries.I'm happy when I can go back to my room and be alone. I walked back and forth, sat by the window, I couldn't rest.There was a crazy moment where I wanted to go to the stables and lead a horse to find him.How can I do this at night?What right do I have to meddle in his affairs? Of course, I reminded myself, the Count, who was like a dear companion to me, was a weak and sick man.He has recovered from the accident and asked me to replace his friend when he was trapped in the castle. Why didn't I see this clearly? 我入睡时已黎明，女仆送早餐到我房里来时，我怀着一份暗暗的焦虑看着她是否听到任何坏消息，但是她像以往般的平静。 我来到画廊感到又累又紧张，没有心情工作。不过我告诉自己如果有任何事不对劲，我早该听说了。 我到那里没多久，他就进了画廊。我看到他时吃了一惊，而他则奇怪的看着我。我不假思索的说：“噢……那么你没事吧？” 他面无表情，却仔细端详我。 “我很抱歉昨晚晚餐时未与你碰面。”他说。 “噢……是的，我……猜想……”我是怎么一回事？我竟然像我向来轻视的傻女孩似的结结巴巴。 他不停的看着我，我肯定他已察觉到失眠的痕迹。我真是个笨蛋！他出去拜访朋友时，我期待他向我解释吗？当然他会出去，因为他的意外，他只有将自己困在古堡中。 “我相信，”他说，“你关心我的安全。” 他知道我的感觉状态一如——或许更胜于——我自己的了解吗？ “告诉我，你是否想像我被射穿心脏……不，头部，因为我相信你会偷偷的认为，劳森小姐，我的心是块石头。某方面来说是个优点，子弹打不穿石头。” 我知道否认我的关心是没有用的，所以我在答覆时默默的承认：“如果你曾被射杀一次，这似乎很合理去想像它再度发生。” “那就太巧合了，你不以为吗？一个人射兔子时正好射中我的马，这是一种一生只会发生一次的事，而你却期待在几星期内发生两次。” “那兔子理论也许不是事实。” 他坐在那幅他祖先戴着绿宝石的画像下的沙发上，端详着坐在高凳上的我：“你在那儿舒服吗，劳森小姐？” “谢谢你。”我可以感觉到活力又回到我的身体，每一件事又令我快乐了，现在我只有一个恐惧，我泄露自己了吗？ “我们谈过绘画、古堡、老家族、大革命，但是从未提过我们自己。”他近乎温柔的说。 “我确信那些主题都比我个人有趣多了。” “你真的那么想吗？” 我耸耸肩——我从我周围的人那儿学得的一个习惯，对一个困难的问题这是个很好的替代答案。 “我所知道的就是你父亲去世，你替代他的职位。” “没有什么好知道的，我的生活就像许多与我同阶级同处境的人一样。” “你从未结婚，我在想为什么。” “我也许会像那个英国卖牛奶的女孩般回答，'没人求婚，先生。'她说。” “我觉得这个非比寻常，我确定你可以成为某个幸运男人的最佳妻子，只要想像一下你会多有用，他的图画可以一直保持完美状况。” “如果他没有一幅怎么办？” “我确信你很快就会补救这个疏漏。” 我不喜欢这个会话中的诙谐，我想像他在开我玩笑，从我的新感情观点，在这个主题上我不在意被讽刺。 “我很惊讶你竟然拥护婚姻。”话一出口，我立刻希望我没说。我脸红并口吃：“我很抱歉……” 他微笑，讽刺消失了。 “我不惊讶你会吃惊。告诉我D代表什么？D劳森小姐，我想知道，它是个不普遍的名字。” 我解释我父亲叫戴尼尔、我母亲叫艾丽丝。 “戴拉丝，”他重覆我的名字，“你在笑？” “是你说它的方式……重音放在最后一个音节，我们把它放在第一音节。” 他又试一遍，对我微笑着，“戴拉丝，戴拉丝。”他让我觉得他喜欢叫它。“你自己有个不普通的名字。” “自从第一个法兰克王之后……我的家族多年来沿用它，我们曾是王室，你知道，我们偶尔有一个路易、一个查尔斯、一个亨利，但是我们一定有我们的洛塞尔。现在让我告诉你，你多错误的读我的名字。” 我说了它，他笑了，叫我再说一次。 “非常好，戴拉丝，”他说，“不过你做的每一件事都做的很好。” 我告诉他我的双亲，以及我如何帮父亲工作。多少它变得主宰了我的生活，让我在婚姻之外，他提到这个。 “或许这样比较好，”他说，“那些未婚的人后悔错失了它，但是那些已经有了的，经常更加悔恨。他们渴望及时回头，未曾做过已做的事。嗯，那就是生活，不是吗？” “也许就是这样。” “以我自己为例，我二十岁时和一个为我选好的女人结婚，我们的家族就是如此，你知道。” "yes." “这些婚姻通常是成功的。” “而你的是吗？”我的声音近似耳语。 他没有回答，我快快的说：“我很抱歉，我太无礼了。” “不，你该知道。” 我在想为什么，接着我的心脏开始不安的跳着。 “不，这个婚姻不成功，我想我没有能力做个好丈夫。” “当然一个男人可以……如果他想的话。” “劳森小姐，一个自私、不能容忍、没有耐性又滥交的男人可以成为一个好丈夫？” “只要停止自私、不能容忍等等。” “而你认为一个人可以关掉这些令人不悦的特质就像关水龙头？” “我想一个人可以试着压抑它们。” 他突然笑了，我觉得很愚笨。 “我逗乐你了？”我冷冷的说，“你要听意见，我说了。” “这绝对是实情，当然，只要我能伸展我的想像力去想像你拥有令人不悦的性格，我就能够想像出你可以压抑它们。你知道我的婚姻是多不幸的结束。” I nod. “我当丈夫的经验说服我，我该永远放弃这个角色。” “也许你很明智做了这个决定。” “我相信你会同意。” 我知道他是什么意思，如果他的疑虑是对的，我让自己对他的感情变得太深，我该受到警告。我觉得羞辱及受伤，我迅速的说：“我对我注意到的一些古堡墙面有兴趣，它让我想到在那石灰漆下也许有一些壁画。” “噢？”他说，我想他对我说的话没有注意听。 “我记得我父亲在诺森伯兰一幢古老大厦的墙上有个奇迹式的发现，它是一幅很棒的画被隐藏了几世纪，我觉得这儿必定有类似的发现。” “发现？”他重覆的说，“是吗？” What was he thinking about?和法兰可丝暴乱的婚姻生活？但是它曾暴乱吗？深深的不快乐、全然的不满意，因此他决定绝不再冒这种风险。 我意识到一股强烈的热情淹没了我，我想：我能做什么？我怎能丢下这个，回到英国……回到一个没有一个充满秘密古堡，一个我渴望恢复快乐的伯爵的新生活。 “我想要贴近看那些墙壁。”我继续说。 他几乎发怒的说，好像要否认他前面说的一切事物：“戴拉丝，我的古堡和我自己任你处置。”