Chapter 7 Chapter VII
On the first day of the new year, Genevieve told me that she was going to ride to Crawford House to see her grandfather and wanted me to accompany her.
I figured it would be interesting to see that old house again, so I said yes right away.
“When my mother was alive,” Genevieve told me, “we used to visit my grandfather at New Years, like all French kids.”
"It's a beautiful custom."
"While the adults drink and eat the cake with the wine, the cake and chocolates are served to the children, who then play the piano and violin to show progress and sometimes recite something."
"Are you going to do the same?"
"No, but I should give my catechism. My grandfather loved prayers more than piano or violin."
I wondered what it was like for her to visit that strange old house, irresistible, and I asked, "Do you like going?"
She frowned, looking confused, "I don't know, I want to go, but but... when I'm there, sometimes I feel like I can't take it anymore, I want to run away right away, and never again Go back. My mother used to talk so much about it, it made me feel like I lived in it, and I didn't know if I wanted to go or not, miss."
When we got to the house Morik showed us inside and showed us the old man, who looked much weaker than the last time I saw him.
"Do you know what day it is, Grandpa?" asked Genevieve.
While he didn't answer, she put her lips to his ear, and said, "New Year! So I've come to see you, and Miss Lawson is here."
When he heard my name, he nodded, "It's nice of you to come, please forgive me for not getting up..."
We sat down close to him, but he changed, his eyes were completely out of calm, they looked like a lost man trying desperately to find his way out of the jungle.I think what he's looking for is memory.
"May I ring the bell?" asked Genevieve. "We're very hungry. I'd like my cake and chocolate. I'm sure Miss Lawson is thirsty."
He doesn't answer, so she rings the bell and Morik appears, ordering what she wants.
"Grandpa isn't doing well today," she said to Morik.
"He's had a bad life, Miss Genevieve."
"I don't think he knows what day it is." Genevieve sighed, and sat down. "Grandfather," she went on, "there was a treasure hunt at the castle on Christmas night, and Miss Lawson won it."
"The only treasure is in heaven," he said.
"Oh! yes, grandfather, but it's not bad to find some here on Earth while you wait."
He looked confused. "Did you say your prayers?"
"Sooner or later," she replied.
"It's not enough, you, my child, you must pray more fervently than most, you need help, you were born with sin..."
"Yes, Grandfather, I know we all do, but I do say my prayers, and Rano calls me."
"Oh, good Lano! Merciful Lano ever, she is a good soul."
"She will not let me forget my prayers, grandfather."
Morik returns with wine, cakes, and chocolates.
"Thank you, Morik," said Genevieve, "I'll take care of it. Grandpa," she went on, "Miss Lawson and I went to a party at Christmas and they had a nativity and a crown cake. I hope you have a bunch of sons and daughters, then their children will be my cousins, they will be here today, and we can have a cake with a crown."
He didn't listen to her, turned his gaze to me, and I tried to make some conversation, but the only thing I could think of was the cell-like room and the wardrobe with the whip and the fakir's clothes.
He's a religious maniac - very obvious, but why has he become that way?What kind of life did Franks lead here?Why did she die when he had a stroke?Was that because she couldn't bear to live without him?Without this man--the wild-eyed skeletal religious maniac in this gray house, with the cell and the locker... When she married the count and the castle was her home, no one would have been like You also think of this glorious fate...
I reflect on my thoughts, what made me think of this kind of thing?A glorious fate... when one goes to endure it - yes, endures - that's the word... and kills oneself.
But why...why?What started out as idle curiosity turned into a burning thirst for knowledge?But, I quickly told myself, there was nothing unusual about it.This love of other people's affairs is inherited, and I have this curiosity to explore what is going on in other people's minds, just as I care deeply about why a painter adopts this subject, why he paints it like this, and what is behind his interpretation , how does he use color and tone?
The old man couldn't take his eyes off me. "I can't see you," he said. "Could you come closer?"
I pull the chair closer to him.
"That's not right," he whispered. "Big mistake."
He said to himself, and I glanced at Genevieve, who was busy choosing a chocolate from the tray Morik had brought her.
"Francoise must not know," he said.
I knew he was out of his mind, and I was right, I had thought that he was not as good as he was the last time we saw him.
He looked at me carefully, "Yes, you really look good today, very good."
"Thank you, I feel good."
"It was a mistake...it was my cross and I couldn't bear it."
I said nothing, wondering if we should be called Morik.
He didn't take his eyes off my face, but leaned back in his chair, as if afraid of me.As he moved, the blanket on him slipped, so I caught it and covered him.He flinched and yelled, "Go away, leave me alone, you know my burden, Onna Lun."
I said, "It's Morik."
Genevieve ran out of the room.
The man grabbed my wrist and I felt his nails digging into my skin, "You are not to blame," he said, "This sin is mine, it is my burden, and I will take it to the grave... ...why don't you...why do I...? Oh, the tragedy...Francoise...Little Francise. Go away, stay away from me, Onneron, why do you seduce me?"
Morik hurried into the room, took the blanket and covered the old man, and said over his shoulder, "Sneak outside, that's better."
So Genevieve and I walked out of the room as Morik put the crucifix that hung around the old man's neck into his hand.
"That's...scary," I said.
"Are you very scared? Miss." Genevieve asked happily.
"He's frantic."
"He often does, after all he's very old."
"We shouldn't be here."
"That's what Dad said."
"You said he banned it?"
"Not exactly, because he didn't know it when I came, but if he did, he'd tell."
"Grandfather is my mother's father. Dad doesn't like him for this reason. After all, he doesn't like my mother, right?"
As we rode back to the castle, I said to Genevieve, "He thought I was someone else, and once or twice he called me Onaron."
"She is my mother's mother."
"He seems...afraid of her."
Genevieve muses: "It's hard to imagine my maternal grandfather being afraid of anyone."
Then I thought about our life in the castle, connected with death in some mysterious and complex way.I couldn't help mentioning to Rano that we were visiting Crifford.
She shook her head, "Geneviere shouldn't be there," she said, "It's best not to."
"She wanted to go because it is customary to visit her grandparents during the New Year."
"It's fine in some families...but not in others."
"You can't see it in this family." I reminded.
"Oh, custom is for the poor, and they create something to live on."
"I think rich and poor alike love them. But I wish we hadn't, Genevieve's grandfather was unhinged and unpleasant."
"Miss Genevieve should wait until he finds her. She shouldn't have such a surprise visit."
"He must have been different when you were there...I mean, when Francise was a little girl."
"He has always been a strict man, to himself and others, and he should have been a monk."
"Perhaps, he thought so too. I saw a cell-like place, and I imagined he slept there at one point."
Lano nodded again, "This kind of man should never marry." She said, "But Franks doesn't understand what's going on, I try to make everything seem natural to her..."
"What's going on?" I asked.
She gave me a sharp look. "He wasn't made to be a father. He wanted the house to be like a... monastery."
"And her mother... On Nalun."
Lano turned around. "She's a sick person."
"No," I said, "poor Franks didn't have a happy childhood . . . her father was a religious maniac, and her mother was sickly."
"I see she is happy."
"Yes, she seemed happy in her embroidery and piano lessons...she wrote them like she liked them. When her mother died..."
"Yes?" Rano asked sharply.
"Is she not happy?"
Lano got up and took out one of the small notebooks in the drawer.
"Read it," she said.
I opened it and she had gone for walks, she had music lessons, she embroidered the altar cloth she was making, she had lessons with the governess.The regular life of an ordinary little girl.
Then came the note:
I finish reading and look up at Rano.
"What is the great evil? Have you discovered it?"
"He was a man who could see evil in his laughter."
"I wonder why he got married, why he doesn't go to a monastery and lives here."
Lano just lifted her shoulders.
The count went to Paris on New Year's, and Philip went with him.I continued my work and now have a few more paintings to show.It's a joy to see them in their original beauty, and just looking at them and remembering how they've emerged from years of grime in brilliant colors gives me great joy.This is not just a beautiful reply, but also my self-proof. But every morning I wake up with a certainty that I should leave the castle, it's like an inner warning: make some excuses and go! But I've never enjoyed work like this, and I've never found a house that piques my curiosity like Gaillard Castle. January was cold as expected and there was a lot of activity in the vineyards where the frost was killing the vines.Genevieve and I used to stop and watch the workers on horseback rides or walks, and sometimes when we visited the Bastille house, there was a chance that Champier would take us to the cellar, show us the barrels of wine as they were being made, and Explain the process of making wine to us. Genevieve said the deep cellars reminded her of the castle's secret dungeons, and Champier commented that nothing is forgotten here.He explained to us how the light enters through the small openings to regulate the temperature, and he warned us that no plants or flowers should be brought here because they would add something spoiling to the wine. "How old are these cellars?" Genevieve wondered. "They're like the wine here. That's hundreds of years ago." "While they're taking care of the wine and making sure the temperature is okay," Genevieve commented, "they're also putting people in secret dungeons, freezing to death, starving to death." "Wine was more important to your noble ancestors than an enemy, naturally." "And for many years it has been made by Bastille." "There was a Bastedt who had the honor of being the enemy of your noble ancestors, and his bones are buried in the castle." "Oh, Champier! Where is it?" "In the secret dungeon. He was disrespectful to the count of Terratel, and was called to him never to be seen again. He went to the old castle, but never came out again. Summoned by the count, 'Come in, Bastide, now What trouble have you got into?' Bold Busted wanted to explain, and he mistook himself as good as his master. Then Monsieur moved his foot, and the ground opened. . . . Go down, impertinent Busted, There were people who went before him. Frozen, starved... from falling wounds. What does it matter? He's no longer the count's dislike." "You still sound angry." I said in surprise. "Oh no, then came the Great Revolution, and this time it's Busted's turn." He wasn't serious, because almost immediately, he laughed. "Sudden changes in the weather will seriously damage the vines." So Champier tells us that the spring fog is the most dangerous enemy of the grapes, because they will attack suddenly. Those days can be regarded as peaceful days, with some little things that I remember vividly.Genevieve and I spent a lot of time together, and our friendship grew slowly but steadily.Don't force it because although I've become close to her, sometimes she's like a stranger to me.She was right when she said she had two personalities.Sometimes I found her spying on me almost slyly, other times she was naive and intimate. I couldn't stop thinking about the Count, and when he was gone again, I began to paint a portrait that my common sense told me was untrue.I remembered his tolerance when he gave me a chance to prove my abilities; his generosity to me when he discovered that he had mistakenly doubted me, and gave me a small portrait in order to admit his mistake.He then puts the gift in the shoe, showing his wish for his daughter to be happy.I'm sure he was delighted when I won the pin.Why?Is it simply because he wants me to own something of value, or is it a little bait for the future? I shivered, staring into the future, I couldn't stay in the castle with uncertainty.I have restored some paintings in the gallery, this is the first time I was hired to deal with, this work will not last forever, but in those few weeks I live in a happy dream world, I will be in the old castle for a long time The idea is deeply rooted in my heart. Some people find it easy to believe things the way they like, but I've never liked that...until now, or liked to always face the truth and take pride in my good judgment, since I've been here I've Changed, and it was strange that I didn't look deep enough into myself to discover why. The day before Lent is the Carnival, and Genevieve is as excited as Ivan and Margaux, who show her how to make paper flowers and masks.Because I thought it would be nice for her to have her in these events, we went into town in one of the Busteds' cars, hiding behind weird masks, and we threw paper flowers at each other. When they mocked and hanged the carnival people, we showed up in the square, and we actually danced in the crowd.When we got back to the castle, Genevieve was ecstatic. "I've always heard about Lent night," she confesses, "but I never knew it was so much fun." "I hope," I said, "that your father won't keep you from going there." "We'll never know," she answered impishly, "because we won't tell him, will we, miss?" Is she a little angry?Maybe, but she cared less about his neglect than she used to.And no matter where I go, Lano will not object as long as Genevieve is with me. She seems to have confidence in me, which makes me feel very flattered. When I took her into town, Champier accompanied us, he suggested these excursions, he loved the activity, and Genevieve loved his company.No harm can be done to Genevieve when she is with Busted, I promise myself. On the first week of Lent, the count and Philip returned to the castle. Word quickly spread through the house and around town. Philip was engaged, and he was to marry Mademoiselle Clauditella Monell. Earl came to see me while I was working in the gallery.It was a lovely sunny morning, and now that the days are longer, I spend more time in the gallery.The bright light makes my restoration stand out, and he examines the drawing with delight. "It's perfect, Miss Lawson," he murmured, and his eyes looked at me, dark and dreamy. "What technique is this?" I explained to him that the picture I was working on was badly damaged, several layers of paint were missing, and that it was now filled with plaster putty, and that I would touch up with oil paint later. "You're an artist, Miss Lawson." "A frustrated artist, as you once said." "You forgive but never forget that unkind criticism?" "One does not have to forgive someone for telling the truth," "How strong your will is! We and our pictures need you." He took a step closer to me, his eyes still fixed on my face, which couldn't possibly be admiring!I know what I look like, my orange coat never fits, my hair keeps falling out of the pins, and I don't pay attention to it until something catches me, on my hands Dye the material I'm using.Of course it wasn't my looks that interested him. This is Deng Tuzi's usual method against women, there is no doubt about it!This thought spoils my joy and I want to drive it away. I said, "You needn't be afraid, I'll use a paint that's very soluble, and you can get rid of it if necessary. The base of the color is synthetic resin, you know." "I don't know," he replied. "It is like this, when these paintings are painted, the painters mix the paints themselves, and only they know the secret... And every painter has his own way. This is what makes the paintings of these masters unique, it is very difficult to reproduce. " He nodded deeply. "Restoration is a delicate work," I went on, "and naturally a restorer cannot add his own ideas to the original." He thought it was funny, and realized that maybe I was covering up my embarrassment by talking.Then he said suddenly, "I can see that it would cause disaster, like trying to make someone what you want them to be, instead of helping him to his strengths and restraining evil." "I am concerned only with pictures, and that is the only subject on which I have the knowledge to speak." "And your enthusiasm when you talk about it proves that you are an expert. Tell me, how is my daughter's English progress?" "She's improved a lot." "Did you find teaching her and taking care of the drawings was too much work for you?" I smile, "I love both." "I'm glad we can give you so much joy, and I think you may find our country life quite plain." "Never, I have to thank you for letting me use your stable." "Another thing you love?" "I like it very much." "The life in the old castle is much quieter than in the past." He looked down at me, and said coldly, "After my wife died, we no longer entertained guests like we used to, and we will never return to the old life. Now maybe It is different, my cousin will marry, and his wife will be the mistress of the castle." "Until," I said impulsively, "you get married yourself." I'm sure I detected bitterness in his voice, and he said, "What makes you think I'd do that?" I felt ashamed of my clumsiness, and I said defensively, "It might seem natural, you should... have time." "I suppose you know the circumstances of my wife's death, Miss Lawson?" "I heard...something," I replied, feeling like a woman in a corner who has to get out before she sinks in. "Oh," he said, "some words! Some people believe that I murdered my wife. I trust you will not be affected by that nonsense." "You feel embarrassed?" He smiled, now taunting me. "It means you don't think it's all nonsense. You think I'm capable of doing those dirty things, admit it!" My heart began to beat fast and uneasy, "You must be joking." I said. "That's the reaction we expect from the British, Miss Lawson. It's unpleasant, so we don't talk about it." His eyes suddenly angered. "No, we won't talk about it, and it's best to go on believing that the sinner is guilty." I was surprised, "You are totally wrong." I said quietly. He lost his composure and then recovered, "And you, Miss Lawson, are admirable. You understand that I would never remarry under the circumstances. But you are surprised that I will talk to you about my views on marriage. " "I admit I am." "And yet you are such a sympathetic listener, and my sympathy is not sentimental in the usual sense, I mean you exuded such calm good judgment, such candor, qualities that tempted me to be careless with you. Talk about my private affairs." "I don't know whether to thank you for the compliment or to apologize for causing you to be careless." "You do everything . "I try my best." "Well, here's the question: do you think I murdered my wife?" I was surprised, half of his eyes were covered by his thick eyelids, but I knew he was watching me carefully, and for the important few seconds, I didn't answer. "Thank you," he said. "I haven't answered yet." "You do, though. You want time to discover an intelligent answer. I don't want intelligence. I want the truth." "You have to listen to my opinion, and I will definitely say it." "So……" "I never for a moment believed that you gave your wife a dose of poison, but..." "but……" "Maybe you...disappointed her...maybe you didn't make her happy, I mean she was unhappy married to you and didn't want to go on, so she ended her life." He looked at me, lips There was a forced smile, and then I felt his deep unhappiness, a chaotic desire to make him happy.It's ridiculous, but it exists, and I can't deny it.I believe I see something of the man beneath his haughty, distinctive exterior. It seemed he could read my mind, for he replied with a determined face: "Now you understand, Miss Lawson, why I do not wish to marry, you think I am indirectly guilty, you are such a clever young lady, and are undoubtedly right. " "You think I'm stupid, untactful, rude...anything you don't like." "I find you ... fresh and interesting, Miss Lawson, you know. But I believe there is a saying in your country: 'There is no excuse for inflicting a crime,' does it?" I nodded. "Then, in Now you see the villain and his notoriety, notoriety is the easiest thing to do. Here, in exchange for your painting restoration lessons, I will tell you a piece of family history. What I will tell you is: Resurrection My cousin and I are going to Paris shortly after the festivities. Philippe's marriage can't be postponed for any reason, he and I will attend the engagement reception at the bride's house, then the ceremony, the honeymoon will follow, when they return to the chateau , we'll have some entertainment." How could he talk about it so calmly?When I think about his role in it, I'm offended by his actions and how easily I forget his faults and prepare to accept what he says, one might say, every time he appears in a new light in front of me. He went on to say: "We'll have a ball as soon as they come back, the new Mrs. Teratell is looking forward to it. Then two nights later we'll have another ball for everyone who has anything to do with the castle... Vineyard workers, Servant. Everyone. This is the old custom when the heir to the castle marries, and I want you to attend both celebrations." "I'd be glad to join the workers, but I'm not sure. Mrs. Teratell wants me to be a guest at her ball." "I hope so. If I invite you, she will welcome you. Are you not sure? My dear Miss Lawson, I am the master of this house, and only my death can change that." "I'm sure of that," I replied, "but I'm here to work, not get ready for a fancy ball." "But I'm sure you can adjust yourself to the unexpected. I can't hold you any longer, and I understand you're waiting to get back to work." Then he leaves me—confused, excited, and with vague warnings, and I feel myself sinking a little more into the quicksand, getting harder every day.Does he know this?Was there an intentional warning in his words?
The day after Good Friday, when the count and Philip set out for Paris, I visited the Bastuettes on Monday, and found Ivan and Margaux playing in the garden.They called me to see the Easter eggs they found on Sunday!Some were found inside the house, some in the building outside, as many as they found last year. "Perhaps you don't know, madam," said Margo, "that all the gods go to Rome for blessings, and along the way they drop eggs for the children to find." I admit I haven't heard of it before. "So you don't have Easter eggs in England?" Ivan asked. "Yes... just as a gift." "These are gifts too," he told me, "God didn't really drop them. But we found them, look, do you want one?" I said I wanted to get one for Genevieve and she would be happy to know they found it. The egg was wrapped carefully and brought to me respectfully, I told them I was visiting their grandmother.After looking at each other, Ivan said: "She went out..." "And Gabriel." Margot explained. "Then I'll come to see her another day. Is there something wrong?" They shrugged their shoulders innocently, so I said goodbye and continued walking. I came to the river, and there I saw Jenny, their maid, with a great basket of clothes, which she beat and washed with a board in the river. "Good afternoon, Jenny," I said. "Good afternoon, miss." "I have been to the house, but I have not met Mrs. Busted." "She's in town." "She rarely goes out at this time." Jenny nodded, grimacing at the board. "I hope all is well, miss." "Is there any reason not to think so?" "I have a daughter myself." I'm confused and wondering if I'm misunderstanding the dialect. "You mean Miss Gabriela..." "Miss is distressed. I know she took Miss Gabriel to see a doctor," she spread her hands. "I pray to the saints that there will be no mistakes, but when the blood boils, miss, this kind of thing will happen." I couldn't believe what she was implying, so I said, "I hope Miss Gabriel doesn't get something." I left her laughing to herself, thinking how ignorant I was. But I was anxious about the Bastedts, and I visited that house on my return trip. Mrs. Bastedt was at home, and she received me, her face hardened with bewilderment and sorrow. "Maybe I've come at the wrong time," I said, "I'm going unless I can do something." "No," she said, "don't go, this is not a matter that can be kept secret for long... I know you are cautious, please sit down, Teras." She sat down heavily, leaning her arms against the table, covering her face with one hand. I waited in embarrassment, and I believed she was musing how much she could tell me, when after a few minutes she put her hand down and said, "Is this supposed to happen in our house?" "Is that Gabora?" I asked. She nodded. "Where is she?" She raised her head to the ceiling, "In her room, she was very stubborn and didn't say a word." "Is she sick?" "Sick, I hope she is. She won't say who. I never believe it. She's not a loose girl. She's been so quiet." "Maybe it can be solved." "I hope so. I'm afraid what Champier will say when he hears it. He's so vain that he'll be very angry with her." "Poor Gabora," I murmured. "Poor Gabriela, I didn't believe it, didn't say anything until I found out, and then... I saw how scared she was, so I guess I was right. I think she looked bulged, worried,... again Not with the family either, and then this morning when we were getting ready to wash, she passed out. I was pretty sure then, so went to the doctor and he confirmed what I was afraid of." "And she refuses to tell you your lover's name?" Mrs. Bastedt nodded, "That's what I'm worried about. If it's one of the young men... Well, we don't like this, but it can lead to the right path. But because she won't say anything, I'm afraid... If it can be reversed , why is she afraid to tell us? That's what I want to know, looks like someone who can't turn things around." I asked if I could make some coffee, and to my surprise, she let me do it.She sat at the table and stared blankly in front of her. When I was done cooking, I asked if I could bring a cup to Gabriela. I was allowed to go upstairs with my mug, and when I knocked on the door Gabriel said, "It's no use, Grandma." So I opened the door and walked in with a steaming mug of coffee. "You...Daras." "I'm bringing you this, I thought you might like it." She lay looking at me with heavy eyes. I lay her hand, poor Gabriela, who is in the same situation as thousands of girls, each one a new, personal tragedy. "Is there anything I can do?" I asked. She shook her head. "You can't get married and..." She shook her head more violently, and turned away so I couldn't see her face. "Is he... married?" She kept her mouth shut and refused to answer. "Then, in this case, since he can't marry you, you have to be as brave as possible." "They're going to hate me," she said, "and they're all... never the same again." "That's not true," I said, "they're in shock...they're in pain...but it's all over and when the baby is born they'll love him." She smiled palely at me, "You're always trying to get things right, Dellas, people and pictures alike, but you can't do anything. I've done it to myself, as they say, I'm the one who has to eat People with bad results." "Another person deserves to get through this with you, too." But she is stubborn and doesn't say anything. I went back to the castle sad, remembering the happy table at Christmas, and thinking about how suddenly and amazingly life can change.There is no security in happiness.
After the wedding, the earl did not return to the castle immediately, and Philip and his bride went to Italy for their honeymoon. I wonder if the earl has found someone who can please him again, so he wickedly transferred Claude to Philip. I told myself angrily, that was the best reason for him to disappear. He didn't come home until Claude and Philip were about to return home, and then he had no intention of coming to see me alone.I asked myself if he could sense my disapproval, as if he still cared about it, and as usual, he might think I was more intrusive than usual. I was very disappointed because I hoped to talk to him again and I was very disturbed when Philip and his wife returned.I was sure Claude didn't like me, and I imagined she was the kind of woman who wouldn't hide her displeasure, and perhaps accepting Philip's offer to find a new job was necessary.Despite the growing apprehension, the thought of leaving the castle was clearly depressing to me. They came back after a three week honeymoon and I met Claude the day after she arrived and discovered how much she hated me. I was coming out of a gallery when we met. "I thought you'd finished work before then," she said, "I remember how well you went on at Christmas." "Restoring a picture is a very precise job, and the collection in the gallery has been sadly neglected." "But I thought it was only a little difficult for such an expert." "There are always difficulties here and it takes a lot of patience." "Is that why you need to be so focused and can't work all day?" So she noticed the way I work!And is she implying that I'm wasting my time prolonging my stay in the castle?I said from the bottom of my heart, "You can be assured, Mrs. Teratell, that I will complete these drawings as quickly as possible." She nodded. "It's a pity they couldn't be finished in time for the ball for our friends. I hope you, like the rest of the mansion, are looking forward to the second ball." Before I could answer, she left like a gust of wind.She made it clear that she didn't want to see me at the first ball, and I wanted to yell, "But the Earl has already invited me, and he's still the master of this house!" I went back to the room and looked at the green velvet dress.Why can't I go?He has invited me, he is expecting me.What a victory!Under the haughty nose of the new Mrs. Teratell, accept his welcome. But the night of the prom I had a change of heart and he didn't take a chance with me, did I really think he was going to take my side against her? I went to bed very early on the night of the dance, and I could hear the music coming from the ballroom from time to time in my room. I lay on the bed and wanted to read, but I was painting the dazzling scene in my mind.Musicians sat on dais and played behind stands of carnations, which I had seen gardeners set up during the day.I pictured the earl dancing with his cousin's wife, I pictured myself in green with an emerald pin I won from a treasure hunt, and then I started thinking about the emeralds in the portrait and myself wearing them, I must see Looks like a countess. I sneered and picked up the book, but found it hard to read any more.I remembered the words uploaded from the stairs to the dungeon, and I wonder if these two people are together now?They congratulate each other because smart enough to arrange this marriage to bring her under his roof? What an explosive occasion!What are the consequences?包围伯爵的谣言有一点引人猜疑，他曾如此鲁莽的对待过他妻子吗？ 我听到房间外的走廊上传来脚步声，我倾听，它们在我门外停住，有人站在那里，我可以清楚的听到呼吸声。 我在床上坐起身，我的眼睛盯住门，然后突然的，门把转动了。 “吉娜薇薇！”我大叫，“你吓我一跳。” “对不起，我正站在外面猜想你是不是睡着了。” 她进来，坐在床上，她的蓝色丝质舞会礼服很迷人，但是她的表情却很阴沉。“这是个讨厌的舞会。”她说。 "why?" “克劳蒂婶婶，”她说，“她不是我婶婶，她是菲利浦堂叔的太太。” “用英文说。”我说。 “我生气的时候不行，我得花太多心思，我不能一边生气，一边思考。” “所以讲英文可能是个更好的主意。” “噢，小姐，你听起来就像那个老废物。想到那个女人要住在这里……” “为什么你这么不喜欢她？” “我不是不喜欢她，我恨她。” "What did she do to you?" “她到这里来住。” “这是个大城堡，有足够的房间。” “如果她一直待在同一个地方，我不会介意，因为如此我就不用到有她的地方去。” “拜托、拜托，吉娜薇薇，别把她关到秘密地牢。” “拉诺会放她出来的，所以那没什么好玩的。” “为什么你要和她做对，她很漂亮啊！” “那是个麻烦，我不喜欢漂亮的人，我喜欢他们平凡，就像你，小姐。” “真是迷人的恭维。” “他们破坏事物。” “她没有待到足以破坏东西啊。” “但是她会，你知道，我母亲也不喜欢漂亮女人，她们破坏了她的世界。” “你不可能知道任何这一类的事。” “我知道，我告诉你，她常哭，然后他们争吵。他们静静的争吵，我常认为静静的吵比大吵大闹糟。爸爸只要冷冷的说一些残酷的事，这让那事更残忍。他说这些事好像可以使他开心……就像别人因为愚笨而让他高兴。他认为她愚笨，这让她很不高兴。” “吉娜薇薇，我不认为你该沉浸在这么久以前发生的事中，而且你对它所知有限。” “我知道他杀了她，不是吗？” “你不知道那回事。” “他们说她自杀，但是她没有，她不会留下我孤零零的。” 我将我的手放在她手上，“别想它了。”我求道。 “但是你却在自己屋里想这是怎么一件事，因为这件事爸爸不要娶妻，也就是菲利浦为何要结婚的原因。若是我是个儿子，一切就不同了，爸爸不喜欢我，因为我不是儿子。” “我相信你想像成你父亲不喜欢你。” “当你伪装时我不太喜欢你，你像所有的大人，当他们不想回答时，他们装成不懂你在讲什么。我认为我父亲杀了我母亲，而她从坟墓里回来报复他。” "Nonsense!" “她在夜晚时和其它来自秘密地牢的鬼在古堡中行走，我听过他们，所以你那套他们不在这里的说法是不管用的。” “下次你听到他们，过来告诉我。” “我可以吗，小姐？我很久没听到他们了，我不怕他们，因为我母亲不会让他们伤害我。记得你以前告诉过我吗？” “下次你听到他们时让我知道。” “你认为我们可以走出去找他们吗，小姐？” “我不知道，我们先要听听看。” 她靠近我并大叫：“一言为定。”
古堡中除了谈论为仆人和葡萄工人举行的舞会外几乎什么也不谈，筹备工作比伯爵为他朋友举行的舞会还会热烈的展开。郊野中和走廊上都是快乐的交谈声，那天仆人明显的幽默。 在这个场合，我穿上绿色礼服。我觉得需要信心，我将头发梳高在头顶，效果蛮怡人的。 我想了许多关于盖柏拉·巴士泰德的事，猜想她是否做了决定。 波兰格，侍者领班，是庆典的主人。他在古堡的宴会厅接待所有人，晚间那儿有自助餐，新婚夫妇以及伯爵、吉娜薇薇将在舞会进行中出现。我听说，他们会溜进来，非正式的加入，与一些人跳舞，然后波兰格会……好像偶尔的……发现他们的出席，进而祝福新婚夫妇健康，共饮古堡中最好的酒。 巴士泰德家已经在我到之前抵达，盖柏拉和他们同来，看来很漂亮，虽然有些忧虑，穿着一件我猜是她自己做的淡蓝色礼服，我听说她非常擅长缝纫。 巴士泰德太太扶着她儿子阿蒙的手臂出现，她尽早趁机告诉我尚皮耶还不知道，他们希望在他知道前找出那个男人的名字，安排一场婚礼。 这是给我的一个暗示，叫我什么也别提。我猜想她是否后悔告诉我，无疑的她会那么做，因为我正巧在她初受这消息惊吓时，我在她身旁。 尚皮耶找到我，我们在“苏提瑞·查若戴斯”的曲调中共舞，我曾在巴士泰德家听过它，尚皮耶也曾经对我唱过这首歌。 我们跳舞时，他轻柔的对我唱。 “Qui soni-ils les gens qui sont riches……L” “你看，”他说，“即使在此地，在这些光芒下，我仍然可以唱出这些歌词。对我们这些卑微的人，这是个盛大场面，我们不常有机会在古堡的舞厅中跳舞。” “这比你在自己家中跳舞更好吗？我真的非常喜欢圣诞节！吉娜薇薇也是。事实上，我确定她喜欢你的庆祝会甚于古堡的。” “她是个奇怪的女孩，那一种类型。” “我爱看到她快乐。” 他热情的对我微笑，我不停的想着盖柏拉端着垫子上的王冠进来，以及后来他以今日之王的特权亲吻我们。 “你到此地后她快乐多了，也许，”他评论到，“她不是唯一的一个。” “你在恭维我。” “是真话不是恭维，戴拉丝。” “这样的话，我很高兴知道我如此受欢迎。” 他轻压我的手，“很明显的。”他向我保证，“噢，看……那个大人物正跟着我们，我敢说伯爵先生正看着我们。也许他认为你既不像他的仆人那么卑微，又不在他的葡萄园工作，最适合当他的舞伴。” “我确定他根本不在想那回事。” “你热衷为他辩护。” “我非常冷静，而他不需要我的辩护。” “等着瞧，我们要不要打个小赌……你和我？我说他第一个跳舞的对象是你。” “我从不赌博。” 音乐停了，“好像是偶尔的，”尚皮耶喃喃道，“波兰格先生发出一个暗示，舞蹈停止！大人们在我们之中。” 他领我到一张椅子旁，我坐下。菲利浦和克劳蒂被伯爵隔开，他正朝我走来，音乐又响起，我转头去看乐师，却每一刻都期待他站在那里。而我，正如尚皮耶所说，以为他会选我共舞。 我很惊讶的发现，他和盖柏拉共舞。 我笑着转向尚皮耶。 “我很后悔没打赌。” 尚皮耶带着困惑表情看着伯爵和他妹妹。 “而我很抱歉，”他说，转向我，“你只有和葡萄园之王共舞，而非城堡之王了。” “我很乐意。”我轻轻的说。 我们跳舞时，我看到克劳蒂与波兰格，菲利浦和杜瓦太太共舞，她是女性员工的领班，我想伯爵会选盖柏拉是因为巴士泰德家是葡萄园工人的首领。我向自己保证，这些都是经过精密的宫廷礼节策画出来的。 舞蹈结束后，波兰格致词，每位到场的人为克劳蒂和菲利浦的健康乾杯。之后乐师演奏我听说叫“马区与诺克诉衷情”的曲子，这支舞由菲利浦和克劳蒂领头。 然后，伯爵向我走来。 虽然我决心保持冷淡，但是当他轻轻牵起我的手，要求共舞的荣幸时，我觉得我双颊微微发红。 我说：“我不确定我知道这支舞，这似乎是法国本地特产。” “除了诺克音乐外没什么特别，你不能假装，劳森小姐，我们不是唯一有婚礼的国家。” “我无意如此做，但是我不知道这个舞蹈。” “你在英国常跳舞吗？” “不常，我很少有这种机会。” “可惜，我自己也不太是个舞者，但是我假设你可以跳得很好，就像你做其它事，只要你有意去做。你该抓住每一个机会……即使你不想和舞伴混在一起。你没有接受我的舞会邀请，我在猜是什么原因。” “我想我已经解释过，我不是来参加豪华舞会的。” “但是我希望在我表示我特别渴望你出现后，你会来。” “我不认为我的缺席会引起注意。” “它是……而且遗憾。” “那么我很抱歉。” “你不必表现出像是的样子。” “我的意思是我很抱歉造成了遗憾……不是我自己错过了舞会。” “你真好，劳森小姐，表现出对他人感觉的关心，这总是令人舒服。” 吉娜薇薇和尚皮耶舞过去，她向上看他笑着，我看到伯爵注意到这个。 “我的女儿就像你，劳森小姐，她喜爱某种娱兴节目甚于另一种。” “无疑的，和较大的场面相比，这只是微不足道的欢乐。” “你不在那儿，你怎么知道？” “这只是一个猜测……不是事实陈述。” “我也许已经知道了。你总是那么谨慎。你一定要再给我上一课修复学，我被上一次的迷住了，你会在某个早上发现我到画廊拜访你。” “那将是一项荣幸。” "yes?" 我看着那奇怪盖着的眼睛并说：“是的，这会是。” 舞曲结束了而他不能再和我跳，那会引来批评。和家里每一个成员不能跳超过一次，六首舞曲之后，他可以任意离去，尚皮耶这么告诉我的。这是风俗，他、菲利浦、克劳蒂和吉娜薇薇出现完成职责，然后一个接一个溜走……不能一起，那会太正式了，非正式是今天的特色。但是伯爵会先走，其它人自己选时机。 正如他说的，我看到伯爵静悄悄的溜走，之后我就没有很大的意愿想留下来。 当我看到盖柏拉离开舞厅时，我正和波兰格跳舞。她离开时的某种态度，引起了我的怀疑。她迅速环视一下，假装检视墙上的壁画，然后又飞快看了一眼，走出了门。 有一秒我瞥见她绝望的表情，我害怕她会做什么。 我得去确定一下，所以一等音乐停止，我可以离开我的舞伴后，我也找了一个机会溜出来。 我不知道她到哪里去了，我猜想一个绝望的女孩会做些什么，从古堡顶楼跳下去吗？将自己淹死在庭园中的古井吗？ 当我站在舞厅外时，我知道两者都无可能，如果盖柏拉想自杀，她何必选古堡，除非有某种原因……她该有何种原因呢？ 我知道一个我不会接受的原因，但是当我的心抗拒它时，我的脚步却由直觉引导得走向我与伯爵面谈过数次的图书室。 我非常希望能嘲笑闪入我脑中的念头。 我到了图书室，我可以听到谈话声，我知道他们在那儿。盖柏拉无声无息……变得歇斯底里，伯爵的声音低而理性。 我转身回到房间，我没有欲望再回到舞厅去，除了独处外不想做任何事。
几天后我去拜访巴士泰德公馆，巴士泰德太太喜悦的招待我，我可以看出来她比我上次在此地时感觉好多了。 “消息不错，盖柏拉要结婚了。” “噢，我真高兴。” 巴士泰德太太对我笑着，“我知道你会的，”她说，“你将我们的烦恼当做是自己的。” 我明显的松了一口气，我笑自己你这个笨蛋，这个疑神疑鬼的笨蛋，为什么你总相信他坏的那一面？ “请告诉我，”我求着，“我为此事高兴，我看得出来你也一样。” “嗯，”巴士泰德太太说，“很快人们会发现这个婚礼很匆促……但是这种事会发生。他们像许多年轻人那样比婚礼誓约早了一步，但是他们会告解并得到赦免。他们不会生下私生子，这是孩子在受苦。” “是的，当然，盖柏拉什么时候结婚？” “三个星期内，真是太好了，因为贾克现在有能力结婚了，这就是麻烦所在，他养不起一个太太及一个母亲，因为了解这点，所以盖柏拉没有告诉他她的处境，但是伯爵先生会将一切办妥。” “伯爵先生？” “是啊，他让贾克管理圣瓦林葡萄园。已经很久了，杜蓝先生太老了，他现在拥有产业上的别墅，贾克将照管圣瓦林。但是对伯爵先生而言，让他们结婚，会有一点困难。” “我明白了。”我慢慢的说。 盖柏拉结婚了，虽然有一大堆闲言闲语，在我前往小镇的路上、城堡中及葡萄园区流传，这些评语都是以耳语夹着一些耸肩动作表达。这件事可以提供一、两个星期的兴奋，没有人可以确定自己家不会陷入类似的情况。盖柏拉会结婚，若是宝宝提早来临，嗯，全世界的宝宝好像都有这种癖好做这种事。 婚礼在巴士泰德家举行，虽然没有充分的时间准备，但是所有巴士泰德太太认为必要的东西都有了。我听说伯爵对他的工人非常好，给了这一对新人很棒的结婚礼物，足够让他们买所需的家俱。因为杜蓝夫妇无法把所有的家俱放入小别墅中，所以他们接收了一些，他们立刻就安顿好一切了。 盖柏拉的改变令人大吃一惊，开朗取代了恐惧，她看来比以前更漂亮。当我到圣瓦林看她和贾克的老母亲时，她非常欢迎我。有许多事我想问她，但是当然我不能，我想告诉她，我不仅是想满足无聊的好奇心。 我离去时，她邀我下次路过时再去看她，我答应了。 婚礼后大约四、五个星期，我们现在正式进入春季，攀爬的葡萄藤开始快速生长，户外接连进行着工作直到收成为止。 吉娜薇薇和我在一起，但是我们的关系不像过去般和谐。克劳蒂在古堡出现对她有不利的影响，我如坐针毡的想着会发生什么事。我曾觉得我使她有些进步，但是现在我却像创造出一幅有着虚假光彩的图画，我使用的溶剂只能产生暂时的效果，甚至可能会伤害图画本身。 我说：“我们要不要去拜访盖柏拉？” "I do not mind." “噢，好吧，如果你不想，我自己去。” 她耸耸肩，但是继续跟在我后面。 “她要生孩子了。”她说。 “那，”我说，“会让她和她的丈夫非常快乐。” “但是它来得快了一点，每一个人都在谈论着。” “每一个人！我知道许多人没有，你真的不该夸大，而且你为何不说英文？” “我厌倦说英文，这是一种令人厌倦的语言，”她笑着，“这只是一种利益的结合，我听说是这样。” “所有的婚姻都该有利益。” 那又让她笑了，然后她说：“再见，小姐，我不去，我可能看来……或说起话来不够文雅让你受窘，你永远不知道。” 她一刺马匹，转身走开。我准备跟着她，因为她不该单独在乡间骑马。但是她早我一步，消失在矮树丛中。 不到一分钟后，我听到枪声。 “吉娜薇薇。”我大叫，当我疾驰入树丛，我听她尖叫，树枝钩到我，好似在阻止我……于是我又大叫：“吉娜薇薇你在哪里？发生什么事了？” 她在啜泣：“喔，小姐……小姐……” 我走入她声音的方向，我发现了她，她已下马，马儿在一旁耐心的站着。 “发生什么事……”我开口，然后我看到伯爵躺在草地上，他的马在一旁。他的骑马装外套上都是血。 “他……他被杀了。”吉娜薇薇结结巴巴的说。 我跳下地，跪在他身旁，然后一阵恐慌迎向我。 “吉娜薇薇，”我说，“快去找人帮忙，圣瓦林最近，找个人去叫医生。” 她立刻行动。 接下来几分钟我心中一片模糊，我听到吉娜薇薇轰隆的马蹄声到了路旁疾驰而去。“洛塞尔……”我喃喃着，第一次叫他这罕用的名字，并大声说出，“不可以，我受不了。我可以忍受任何事，除了你死去。” 我注意那厚短的睫毛，他盖子似的眼睑合起，就像百叶窗似的把他的生命之光带走……还有我的，永远。 这种想法来了又去，然而一个人的手却更实在。我举起他的手，一股狂喜冲向我，因为我感到脉搏，虽然它很微弱。 “没有……死。”我耳语，“感谢上帝……感谢上帝。”我听出我声音中的哽咽，而且感到一阵狂喜涌遍全身。 我解开他的外套，若是像我想像的子弹射穿心脏，那里应该有一个弹孔。我找不到，他没有流血。 很快的真相大白了，他没有被射中，鲜血是从侧在他身边的马而来。 我脱下我的外套，把它卷成一个枕头，垫着他的头，我幻想他面有血色，眼皮在眨动。我听到自己说：“你还活着……活着……感谢上帝。” 我默祷救援者快来，我祈祷他没受伤。我跪在那里，双眼盯着他的脸，双唇无声的动着。然后那厚眼睑又眨动了，它们打开了，他的双眼看着我，当我靠近他时，他的双唇微微张开。 我感到我的唇在颤抖，过去几分钟的情绪令人难以忍受——突然而来的希望取代了恐惧，但希望本身略带惊怕。 “你会没事的。”我说。 他闭上眼睛，我跪在那儿等着。
The count went to Paris on New Year's, and Philip went with him.I continued my work and now have a few more paintings to show.It's a joy to see them in their original beauty, and just looking at them and remembering how they've emerged from years of grime in brilliant colors gives me great joy.This is not just a beautiful reply, but also my self-proof. But every morning I wake up with a certainty that I should leave the castle, it's like an inner warning: make some excuses and go! But I've never enjoyed work like this, and I've never found a house that piques my curiosity like Gaillard Castle. January was cold as expected and there was a lot of activity in the vineyards where the frost was killing the vines.Genevieve and I used to stop and watch the workers on horseback rides or walks, and sometimes when we visited the Bastille house, there was a chance that Champier would take us to the cellar, show us the barrels of wine as they were being made, and Explain the process of making wine to us. Genevieve said the deep cellars reminded her of the castle's secret dungeons, and Champier commented that nothing is forgotten here.He explained to us how the light enters through the small openings to regulate the temperature, and he warned us that no plants or flowers should be brought here because they would add something spoiling to the wine. "How old are these cellars?" Genevieve wondered. "They're like the wine here. That's hundreds of years ago." "While they're taking care of the wine and making sure the temperature is okay," Genevieve commented, "they're also putting people in secret dungeons, freezing to death, starving to death." "Wine was more important to your noble ancestors than an enemy, naturally." "And for many years it has been made by Bastille." "There was a Bastedt who had the honor of being the enemy of your noble ancestors, and his bones are buried in the castle." "Oh, Champier! Where is it?" "In the secret dungeon. He was disrespectful to the count of Terratel, and was called to him never to be seen again. He went to the old castle, but never came out again. Summoned by the count, 'Come in, Bastide, now What trouble have you got into?' Bold Busted wanted to explain, and he mistook himself as good as his master. Then Monsieur moved his foot, and the ground opened. . . . Go down, impertinent Busted, There were people who went before him. Frozen, starved... from falling wounds. What does it matter? He's no longer the count's dislike." "You still sound angry." I said in surprise. "Oh no, then came the Great Revolution, and this time it's Busted's turn." He wasn't serious, because almost immediately, he laughed. "Sudden changes in the weather will seriously damage the vines." So Champier tells us that the spring fog is the most dangerous enemy of the grapes, because they will attack suddenly. Those days can be regarded as peaceful days, with some little things that I remember vividly.Genevieve and I spent a lot of time together, and our friendship grew slowly but steadily.Don't force it because although I've become close to her, sometimes she's like a stranger to me.She was right when she said she had two personalities.Sometimes I found her spying on me almost slyly, other times she was naive and intimate. I couldn't stop thinking about the Count, and when he was gone again, I began to paint a portrait that my common sense told me was untrue.I remembered his tolerance when he gave me a chance to prove my abilities; his generosity to me when he discovered that he had mistakenly doubted me, and gave me a small portrait in order to admit his mistake.He then puts the gift in the shoe, showing his wish for his daughter to be happy.I'm sure he was delighted when I won the pin.Why?Is it simply because he wants me to own something of value, or is it a little bait for the future? I shivered, staring into the future, I couldn't stay in the castle with uncertainty.I have restored some paintings in the gallery, this is the first time I was hired to deal with, this work will not last forever, but in those few weeks I live in a happy dream world, I will be in the old castle for a long time The idea is deeply rooted in my heart. Some people find it easy to believe things the way they like, but I've never liked that...until now, or liked to always face the truth and take pride in my good judgment, since I've been here I've Changed, and it was strange that I didn't look deep enough into myself to discover why. The day before Lent is the Carnival, and Genevieve is as excited as Ivan and Margaux, who show her how to make paper flowers and masks.Because I thought it would be nice for her to have her in these events, we went into town in one of the Busteds' cars, hiding behind weird masks, and we threw paper flowers at each other. When they mocked and hanged the carnival people, we showed up in the square, and we actually danced in the crowd.When we got back to the castle, Genevieve was ecstatic. "I've always heard about Lent night," she confesses, "but I never knew it was so much fun." "I hope," I said, "that your father won't keep you from going there." "We'll never know," she answered impishly, "because we won't tell him, will we, miss?" Is she a little angry?Maybe, but she cared less about his neglect than she used to.And no matter where I go, Lano will not object as long as Genevieve is with me. She seems to have confidence in me, which makes me feel very flattered. When I took her into town, Champier accompanied us, he suggested these excursions, he loved the activity, and Genevieve loved his company.No harm can be done to Genevieve when she is with Busted, I promise myself. On the first week of Lent, the count and Philip returned to the castle. Word quickly spread through the house and around town. Philip was engaged, and he was to marry Mademoiselle Clauditella Monell. Earl came to see me while I was working in the gallery.It was a lovely sunny morning, and now that the days are longer, I spend more time in the gallery.The bright light makes my restoration stand out, and he examines the drawing with delight. "It's perfect, Miss Lawson," he murmured, and his eyes looked at me, dark and dreamy. "What technique is this?" I explained to him that the picture I was working on was badly damaged, several layers of paint were missing, and that it was now filled with plaster putty, and that I would touch up with oil paint later. "You're an artist, Miss Lawson." "A frustrated artist, as you once said." "You forgive but never forget that unkind criticism?" "One does not have to forgive someone for telling the truth," "How strong your will is! We and our pictures need you." He took a step closer to me, his eyes still fixed on my face, which couldn't possibly be admiring!I know what I look like, my orange coat never fits, my hair keeps falling out of the pins, and I don't pay attention to it until something catches me, on my hands Dye the material I'm using.Of course it wasn't my looks that interested him. This is Deng Tuzi's usual method against women, there is no doubt about it!This thought spoils my joy and I want to drive it away. I said, "You needn't be afraid, I'll use a paint that's very soluble, and you can get rid of it if necessary. The base of the color is synthetic resin, you know." "I don't know," he replied. "It is like this, when these paintings are painted, the painters mix the paints themselves, and only they know the secret... And every painter has his own way. This is what makes the paintings of these masters unique, it is very difficult to reproduce. " He nodded deeply. "Restoration is a delicate work," I went on, "and naturally a restorer cannot add his own ideas to the original." He thought it was funny, and realized that maybe I was covering up my embarrassment by talking.Then he said suddenly, "I can see that it would cause disaster, like trying to make someone what you want them to be, instead of helping him to his strengths and restraining evil." "I am concerned only with pictures, and that is the only subject on which I have the knowledge to speak." "And your enthusiasm when you talk about it proves that you are an expert. Tell me, how is my daughter's English progress?" "She's improved a lot." "Did you find teaching her and taking care of the drawings was too much work for you?" I smile, "I love both." "I'm glad we can give you so much joy, and I think you may find our country life quite plain." "Never, I have to thank you for letting me use your stable." "Another thing you love?" "I like it very much." "The life in the old castle is much quieter than in the past." He looked down at me, and said coldly, "After my wife died, we no longer entertained guests like we used to, and we will never return to the old life. Now maybe It is different, my cousin will marry, and his wife will be the mistress of the castle." "Until," I said impulsively, "you get married yourself." I'm sure I detected bitterness in his voice, and he said, "What makes you think I'd do that?" I felt ashamed of my clumsiness, and I said defensively, "It might seem natural, you should... have time." "I suppose you know the circumstances of my wife's death, Miss Lawson?" "I heard...something," I replied, feeling like a woman in a corner who has to get out before she sinks in. "Oh," he said, "some words! Some people believe that I murdered my wife. I trust you will not be affected by that nonsense." "You feel embarrassed?" He smiled, now taunting me. "It means you don't think it's all nonsense. You think I'm capable of doing those dirty things, admit it!" My heart began to beat fast and uneasy, "You must be joking." I said. "That's the reaction we expect from the British, Miss Lawson. It's unpleasant, so we don't talk about it." His eyes suddenly angered. "No, we won't talk about it, and it's best to go on believing that the sinner is guilty." I was surprised, "You are totally wrong." I said quietly. He lost his composure and then recovered, "And you, Miss Lawson, are admirable. You understand that I would never remarry under the circumstances. But you are surprised that I will talk to you about my views on marriage. " "I admit I am." "And yet you are such a sympathetic listener, and my sympathy is not sentimental in the usual sense, I mean you exuded such calm good judgment, such candor, qualities that tempted me to be careless with you. Talk about my private affairs." "I don't know whether to thank you for the compliment or to apologize for causing you to be careless." "You do everything . "I try my best." "Well, here's the question: do you think I murdered my wife?" I was surprised, half of his eyes were covered by his thick eyelids, but I knew he was watching me carefully, and for the important few seconds, I didn't answer. "Thank you," he said. "I haven't answered yet." "You do, though. You want time to discover an intelligent answer. I don't want intelligence. I want the truth." "You have to listen to my opinion, and I will definitely say it." "So……" "I never for a moment believed that you gave your wife a dose of poison, but..." "but……" "Maybe you...disappointed her...maybe you didn't make her happy, I mean she was unhappy married to you and didn't want to go on, so she ended her life." He looked at me, lips There was a forced smile, and then I felt his deep unhappiness, a chaotic desire to make him happy.It's ridiculous, but it exists, and I can't deny it.I believe I see something of the man beneath his haughty, distinctive exterior. It seemed he could read my mind, for he replied with a determined face: "Now you understand, Miss Lawson, why I do not wish to marry, you think I am indirectly guilty, you are such a clever young lady, and are undoubtedly right. " "You think I'm stupid, untactful, rude...anything you don't like." "I find you ... fresh and interesting, Miss Lawson, you know. But I believe there is a saying in your country: 'There is no excuse for inflicting a crime,' does it?" I nodded. "Then, in Now you see the villain and his notoriety, notoriety is the easiest thing to do. Here, in exchange for your painting restoration lessons, I will tell you a piece of family history. What I will tell you is: Resurrection My cousin and I are going to Paris shortly after the festivities. Philippe's marriage can't be postponed for any reason, he and I will attend the engagement reception at the bride's house, then the ceremony, the honeymoon will follow, when they return to the chateau , we'll have some entertainment." How could he talk about it so calmly?When I think about his role in it, I'm offended by his actions and how easily I forget his faults and prepare to accept what he says, one might say, every time he appears in a new light in front of me. He went on to say: "We'll have a ball as soon as they come back, the new Mrs. Teratell is looking forward to it. Then two nights later we'll have another ball for everyone who has anything to do with the castle... Vineyard workers, Servant. Everyone. This is the old custom when the heir to the castle marries, and I want you to attend both celebrations." "I'd be glad to join the workers, but I'm not sure. Mrs. Teratell wants me to be a guest at her ball." "I hope so. If I invite you, she will welcome you. Are you not sure? My dear Miss Lawson, I am the master of this house, and only my death can change that." "I'm sure of that," I replied, "but I'm here to work, not get ready for a fancy ball." "But I'm sure you can adjust yourself to the unexpected. I can't hold you any longer, and I understand you're waiting to get back to work." Then he leaves me—confused, excited, and with vague warnings, and I feel myself sinking a little more into the quicksand, getting harder every day.Does he know this?Was there an intentional warning in his words?
The day after Good Friday, when the count and Philip set out for Paris, I visited the Bastuettes on Monday, and found Ivan and Margaux playing in the garden.They called me to see the Easter eggs they found on Sunday!Some were found inside the house, some in the building outside, as many as they found last year. "Perhaps you don't know, madam," said Margo, "that all the gods go to Rome for blessings, and along the way they drop eggs for the children to find." I admit I haven't heard of it before. "So you don't have Easter eggs in England?" Ivan asked. "Yes... just as a gift." "These are gifts too," he told me, "God didn't really drop them. But we found them, look, do you want one?" I said I wanted to get one for Genevieve and she would be happy to know they found it. The egg was wrapped carefully and brought to me respectfully, I told them I was visiting their grandmother.After looking at each other, Ivan said: "She went out..." "And Gabriel." Margot explained. "Then I'll come to see her another day. Is there something wrong?" They shrugged their shoulders innocently, so I said goodbye and continued walking. I came to the river, and there I saw Jenny, their maid, with a great basket of clothes, which she beat and washed with a board in the river. "Good afternoon, Jenny," I said. "Good afternoon, miss." "I have been to the house, but I have not met Mrs. Busted." "She's in town." "She rarely goes out at this time." Jenny nodded, grimacing at the board. "I hope all is well, miss." "Is there any reason not to think so?" "I have a daughter myself." I'm confused and wondering if I'm misunderstanding the dialect. "You mean Miss Gabriela..." "Miss is distressed. I know she took Miss Gabriel to see a doctor," she spread her hands. "I pray to the saints that there will be no mistakes, but when the blood boils, miss, this kind of thing will happen." I couldn't believe what she was implying, so I said, "I hope Miss Gabriel doesn't get something." I left her laughing to herself, thinking how ignorant I was. But I was anxious about the Bastedts, and I visited that house on my return trip. Mrs. Bastedt was at home, and she received me, her face hardened with bewilderment and sorrow. "Maybe I've come at the wrong time," I said, "I'm going unless I can do something." "No," she said, "don't go, this is not a matter that can be kept secret for long... I know you are cautious, please sit down, Teras." She sat down heavily, leaning her arms against the table, covering her face with one hand. I waited in embarrassment, and I believed she was musing how much she could tell me, when after a few minutes she put her hand down and said, "Is this supposed to happen in our house?" "Is that Gabora?" I asked. She nodded. "Where is she?" She raised her head to the ceiling, "In her room, she was very stubborn and didn't say a word." "Is she sick?" "Sick, I hope she is. She won't say who. I never believe it. She's not a loose girl. She's been so quiet." "Maybe it can be solved." "I hope so. I'm afraid what Champier will say when he hears it. He's so vain that he'll be very angry with her." "Poor Gabora," I murmured. "Poor Gabriela, I didn't believe it, didn't say anything until I found out, and then... I saw how scared she was, so I guess I was right. I think she looked bulged, worried,... again Not with the family either, and then this morning when we were getting ready to wash, she passed out. I was pretty sure then, so went to the doctor and he confirmed what I was afraid of." "And she refuses to tell you your lover's name?" Mrs. Bastedt nodded, "That's what I'm worried about. If it's one of the young men... Well, we don't like this, but it can lead to the right path. But because she won't say anything, I'm afraid... If it can be reversed , why is she afraid to tell us? That's what I want to know, looks like someone who can't turn things around." I asked if I could make some coffee, and to my surprise, she let me do it.She sat at the table and stared blankly in front of her. When I was done cooking, I asked if I could bring a cup to Gabriela. I was allowed to go upstairs with my mug, and when I knocked on the door Gabriel said, "It's no use, Grandma." So I opened the door and walked in with a steaming mug of coffee. "You...Daras." "I'm bringing you this, I thought you might like it." She lay looking at me with heavy eyes. I lay her hand, poor Gabriela, who is in the same situation as thousands of girls, each one a new, personal tragedy. "Is there anything I can do?" I asked. She shook her head. "You can't get married and..." She shook her head more violently, and turned away so I couldn't see her face. "Is he... married?" She kept her mouth shut and refused to answer. "Then, in this case, since he can't marry you, you have to be as brave as possible." "They're going to hate me," she said, "and they're all... never the same again." "That's not true," I said, "they're in shock...they're in pain...but it's all over and when the baby is born they'll love him." She smiled palely at me, "You're always trying to get things right, Dellas, people and pictures alike, but you can't do anything. I've done it to myself, as they say, I'm the one who has to eat People with bad results." "Another person deserves to get through this with you, too." But she is stubborn and doesn't say anything. I went back to the castle sad, remembering the happy table at Christmas, and thinking about how suddenly and amazingly life can change.There is no security in happiness.
After the wedding, the earl did not return to the castle immediately, and Philip and his bride went to Italy for their honeymoon. I wonder if the earl has found someone who can please him again, so he wickedly transferred Claude to Philip. I told myself angrily, that was the best reason for him to disappear. He didn't come home until Claude and Philip were about to return home, and then he had no intention of coming to see me alone.I asked myself if he could sense my disapproval, as if he still cared about it, and as usual, he might think I was more intrusive than usual. I was very disappointed because I hoped to talk to him again and I was very disturbed when Philip and his wife returned.I was sure Claude didn't like me, and I imagined she was the kind of woman who wouldn't hide her displeasure, and perhaps accepting Philip's offer to find a new job was necessary.Despite the growing apprehension, the thought of leaving the castle was clearly depressing to me. They came back after a three week honeymoon and I met Claude the day after she arrived and discovered how much she hated me. I was coming out of a gallery when we met. "I thought you'd finished work before then," she said, "I remember how well you went on at Christmas." "Restoring a picture is a very precise job, and the collection in the gallery has been sadly neglected." "But I thought it was only a little difficult for such an expert." "There are always difficulties here and it takes a lot of patience." "Is that why you need to be so focused and can't work all day?" So she noticed the way I work!And is she implying that I'm wasting my time prolonging my stay in the castle?I said from the bottom of my heart, "You can be assured, Mrs. Teratell, that I will complete these drawings as quickly as possible." She nodded. "It's a pity they couldn't be finished in time for the ball for our friends. I hope you, like the rest of the mansion, are looking forward to the second ball." Before I could answer, she left like a gust of wind.She made it clear that she didn't want to see me at the first ball, and I wanted to yell, "But the Earl has already invited me, and he's still the master of this house!" I went back to the room and looked at the green velvet dress.Why can't I go?He has invited me, he is expecting me.What a victory!Under the haughty nose of the new Mrs. Teratell, accept his welcome. But the night of the prom I had a change of heart and he didn't take a chance with me, did I really think he was going to take my side against her? I went to bed very early on the night of the dance, and I could hear the music coming from the ballroom from time to time in my room. I lay on the bed and wanted to read, but I was painting the dazzling scene in my mind.Musicians sat on dais and played behind stands of carnations, which I had seen gardeners set up during the day.I pictured the earl dancing with his cousin's wife, I pictured myself in green with an emerald pin I won from a treasure hunt, and then I started thinking about the emeralds in the portrait and myself wearing them, I must see Looks like a countess. I sneered and picked up the book, but found it hard to read any more.I remembered the words uploaded from the stairs to the dungeon, and I wonder if these two people are together now?They congratulate each other because smart enough to arrange this marriage to bring her under his roof? What an explosive occasion!What are the consequences?包围伯爵的谣言有一点引人猜疑，他曾如此鲁莽的对待过他妻子吗？ 我听到房间外的走廊上传来脚步声，我倾听，它们在我门外停住，有人站在那里，我可以清楚的听到呼吸声。 我在床上坐起身，我的眼睛盯住门，然后突然的，门把转动了。 “吉娜薇薇！”我大叫，“你吓我一跳。” “对不起，我正站在外面猜想你是不是睡着了。” 她进来，坐在床上，她的蓝色丝质舞会礼服很迷人，但是她的表情却很阴沉。“这是个讨厌的舞会。”她说。 "why?" “克劳蒂婶婶，”她说，“她不是我婶婶，她是菲利浦堂叔的太太。” “用英文说。”我说。 “我生气的时候不行，我得花太多心思，我不能一边生气，一边思考。” “所以讲英文可能是个更好的主意。” “噢，小姐，你听起来就像那个老废物。想到那个女人要住在这里……” “为什么你这么不喜欢她？” “我不是不喜欢她，我恨她。” "What did she do to you?" “她到这里来住。” “这是个大城堡，有足够的房间。” “如果她一直待在同一个地方，我不会介意，因为如此我就不用到有她的地方去。” “拜托、拜托，吉娜薇薇，别把她关到秘密地牢。” “拉诺会放她出来的，所以那没什么好玩的。” “为什么你要和她做对，她很漂亮啊！” “那是个麻烦，我不喜欢漂亮的人，我喜欢他们平凡，就像你，小姐。” “真是迷人的恭维。” “他们破坏事物。” “她没有待到足以破坏东西啊。” “但是她会，你知道，我母亲也不喜欢漂亮女人，她们破坏了她的世界。” “你不可能知道任何这一类的事。” “我知道，我告诉你，她常哭，然后他们争吵。他们静静的争吵，我常认为静静的吵比大吵大闹糟。爸爸只要冷冷的说一些残酷的事，这让那事更残忍。他说这些事好像可以使他开心……就像别人因为愚笨而让他高兴。他认为她愚笨，这让她很不高兴。” “吉娜薇薇，我不认为你该沉浸在这么久以前发生的事中，而且你对它所知有限。” “我知道他杀了她，不是吗？” “你不知道那回事。” “他们说她自杀，但是她没有，她不会留下我孤零零的。” 我将我的手放在她手上，“别想它了。”我求道。 “但是你却在自己屋里想这是怎么一件事，因为这件事爸爸不要娶妻，也就是菲利浦为何要结婚的原因。若是我是个儿子，一切就不同了，爸爸不喜欢我，因为我不是儿子。” “我相信你想像成你父亲不喜欢你。” “当你伪装时我不太喜欢你，你像所有的大人，当他们不想回答时，他们装成不懂你在讲什么。我认为我父亲杀了我母亲，而她从坟墓里回来报复他。” "Nonsense!" “她在夜晚时和其它来自秘密地牢的鬼在古堡中行走，我听过他们，所以你那套他们不在这里的说法是不管用的。” “下次你听到他们，过来告诉我。” “我可以吗，小姐？我很久没听到他们了，我不怕他们，因为我母亲不会让他们伤害我。记得你以前告诉过我吗？” “下次你听到他们时让我知道。” “你认为我们可以走出去找他们吗，小姐？” “我不知道，我们先要听听看。” 她靠近我并大叫：“一言为定。”
古堡中除了谈论为仆人和葡萄工人举行的舞会外几乎什么也不谈，筹备工作比伯爵为他朋友举行的舞会还会热烈的展开。郊野中和走廊上都是快乐的交谈声，那天仆人明显的幽默。 在这个场合，我穿上绿色礼服。我觉得需要信心，我将头发梳高在头顶，效果蛮怡人的。 我想了许多关于盖柏拉·巴士泰德的事，猜想她是否做了决定。 波兰格，侍者领班，是庆典的主人。他在古堡的宴会厅接待所有人，晚间那儿有自助餐，新婚夫妇以及伯爵、吉娜薇薇将在舞会进行中出现。我听说，他们会溜进来，非正式的加入，与一些人跳舞，然后波兰格会……好像偶尔的……发现他们的出席，进而祝福新婚夫妇健康，共饮古堡中最好的酒。 巴士泰德家已经在我到之前抵达，盖柏拉和他们同来，看来很漂亮，虽然有些忧虑，穿着一件我猜是她自己做的淡蓝色礼服，我听说她非常擅长缝纫。 巴士泰德太太扶着她儿子阿蒙的手臂出现，她尽早趁机告诉我尚皮耶还不知道，他们希望在他知道前找出那个男人的名字，安排一场婚礼。 这是给我的一个暗示，叫我什么也别提。我猜想她是否后悔告诉我，无疑的她会那么做，因为我正巧在她初受这消息惊吓时，我在她身旁。 尚皮耶找到我，我们在“苏提瑞·查若戴斯”的曲调中共舞，我曾在巴士泰德家听过它，尚皮耶也曾经对我唱过这首歌。 我们跳舞时，他轻柔的对我唱。 “Qui soni-ils les gens qui sont riches……L” “你看，”他说，“即使在此地，在这些光芒下，我仍然可以唱出这些歌词。对我们这些卑微的人，这是个盛大场面，我们不常有机会在古堡的舞厅中跳舞。” “这比你在自己家中跳舞更好吗？我真的非常喜欢圣诞节！吉娜薇薇也是。事实上，我确定她喜欢你的庆祝会甚于古堡的。” “她是个奇怪的女孩，那一种类型。” “我爱看到她快乐。” 他热情的对我微笑，我不停的想着盖柏拉端着垫子上的王冠进来，以及后来他以今日之王的特权亲吻我们。 “你到此地后她快乐多了，也许，”他评论到，“她不是唯一的一个。” “你在恭维我。” “是真话不是恭维，戴拉丝。” “这样的话，我很高兴知道我如此受欢迎。” 他轻压我的手，“很明显的。”他向我保证，“噢，看……那个大人物正跟着我们，我敢说伯爵先生正看着我们。也许他认为你既不像他的仆人那么卑微，又不在他的葡萄园工作，最适合当他的舞伴。” “我确定他根本不在想那回事。” “你热衷为他辩护。” “我非常冷静，而他不需要我的辩护。” “等着瞧，我们要不要打个小赌……你和我？我说他第一个跳舞的对象是你。” “我从不赌博。” 音乐停了，“好像是偶尔的，”尚皮耶喃喃道，“波兰格先生发出一个暗示，舞蹈停止！大人们在我们之中。” 他领我到一张椅子旁，我坐下。菲利浦和克劳蒂被伯爵隔开，他正朝我走来，音乐又响起，我转头去看乐师，却每一刻都期待他站在那里。而我，正如尚皮耶所说，以为他会选我共舞。 我很惊讶的发现，他和盖柏拉共舞。 我笑着转向尚皮耶。 “我很后悔没打赌。” 尚皮耶带着困惑表情看着伯爵和他妹妹。 “而我很抱歉，”他说，转向我，“你只有和葡萄园之王共舞，而非城堡之王了。” “我很乐意。”我轻轻的说。 我们跳舞时，我看到克劳蒂与波兰格，菲利浦和杜瓦太太共舞，她是女性员工的领班，我想伯爵会选盖柏拉是因为巴士泰德家是葡萄园工人的首领。我向自己保证，这些都是经过精密的宫廷礼节策画出来的。 舞蹈结束后，波兰格致词，每位到场的人为克劳蒂和菲利浦的健康乾杯。之后乐师演奏我听说叫“马区与诺克诉衷情”的曲子，这支舞由菲利浦和克劳蒂领头。 然后，伯爵向我走来。 虽然我决心保持冷淡，但是当他轻轻牵起我的手，要求共舞的荣幸时，我觉得我双颊微微发红。 我说：“我不确定我知道这支舞，这似乎是法国本地特产。” “除了诺克音乐外没什么特别，你不能假装，劳森小姐，我们不是唯一有婚礼的国家。” “我无意如此做，但是我不知道这个舞蹈。” “你在英国常跳舞吗？” “不常，我很少有这种机会。” “可惜，我自己也不太是个舞者，但是我假设你可以跳得很好，就像你做其它事，只要你有意去做。你该抓住每一个机会……即使你不想和舞伴混在一起。你没有接受我的舞会邀请，我在猜是什么原因。” “我想我已经解释过，我不是来参加豪华舞会的。” “但是我希望在我表示我特别渴望你出现后，你会来。” “我不认为我的缺席会引起注意。” “它是……而且遗憾。” “那么我很抱歉。” “你不必表现出像是的样子。” “我的意思是我很抱歉造成了遗憾……不是我自己错过了舞会。” “你真好，劳森小姐，表现出对他人感觉的关心，这总是令人舒服。” 吉娜薇薇和尚皮耶舞过去，她向上看他笑着，我看到伯爵注意到这个。 “我的女儿就像你，劳森小姐，她喜爱某种娱兴节目甚于另一种。” “无疑的，和较大的场面相比，这只是微不足道的欢乐。” “你不在那儿，你怎么知道？” “这只是一个猜测……不是事实陈述。” “我也许已经知道了。你总是那么谨慎。你一定要再给我上一课修复学，我被上一次的迷住了，你会在某个早上发现我到画廊拜访你。” “那将是一项荣幸。” "yes?" 我看着那奇怪盖着的眼睛并说：“是的，这会是。” 舞曲结束了而他不能再和我跳，那会引来批评。和家里每一个成员不能跳超过一次，六首舞曲之后，他可以任意离去，尚皮耶这么告诉我的。这是风俗，他、菲利浦、克劳蒂和吉娜薇薇出现完成职责，然后一个接一个溜走……不能一起，那会太正式了，非正式是今天的特色。但是伯爵会先走，其它人自己选时机。 正如他说的，我看到伯爵静悄悄的溜走，之后我就没有很大的意愿想留下来。 当我看到盖柏拉离开舞厅时，我正和波兰格跳舞。她离开时的某种态度，引起了我的怀疑。她迅速环视一下，假装检视墙上的壁画，然后又飞快看了一眼，走出了门。 有一秒我瞥见她绝望的表情，我害怕她会做什么。 我得去确定一下，所以一等音乐停止，我可以离开我的舞伴后，我也找了一个机会溜出来。 我不知道她到哪里去了，我猜想一个绝望的女孩会做些什么，从古堡顶楼跳下去吗？将自己淹死在庭园中的古井吗？ 当我站在舞厅外时，我知道两者都无可能，如果盖柏拉想自杀，她何必选古堡，除非有某种原因……她该有何种原因呢？ 我知道一个我不会接受的原因，但是当我的心抗拒它时，我的脚步却由直觉引导得走向我与伯爵面谈过数次的图书室。 我非常希望能嘲笑闪入我脑中的念头。 我到了图书室，我可以听到谈话声，我知道他们在那儿。盖柏拉无声无息……变得歇斯底里，伯爵的声音低而理性。 我转身回到房间，我没有欲望再回到舞厅去，除了独处外不想做任何事。
几天后我去拜访巴士泰德公馆，巴士泰德太太喜悦的招待我，我可以看出来她比我上次在此地时感觉好多了。 “消息不错，盖柏拉要结婚了。” “噢，我真高兴。” 巴士泰德太太对我笑着，“我知道你会的，”她说，“你将我们的烦恼当做是自己的。” 我明显的松了一口气，我笑自己你这个笨蛋，这个疑神疑鬼的笨蛋，为什么你总相信他坏的那一面？ “请告诉我，”我求着，“我为此事高兴，我看得出来你也一样。” “嗯，”巴士泰德太太说，“很快人们会发现这个婚礼很匆促……但是这种事会发生。他们像许多年轻人那样比婚礼誓约早了一步，但是他们会告解并得到赦免。他们不会生下私生子，这是孩子在受苦。” “是的，当然，盖柏拉什么时候结婚？” “三个星期内，真是太好了，因为贾克现在有能力结婚了，这就是麻烦所在，他养不起一个太太及一个母亲，因为了解这点，所以盖柏拉没有告诉他她的处境，但是伯爵先生会将一切办妥。” “伯爵先生？” “是啊，他让贾克管理圣瓦林葡萄园。已经很久了，杜蓝先生太老了，他现在拥有产业上的别墅，贾克将照管圣瓦林。但是对伯爵先生而言，让他们结婚，会有一点困难。” “我明白了。”我慢慢的说。 盖柏拉结婚了，虽然有一大堆闲言闲语，在我前往小镇的路上、城堡中及葡萄园区流传，这些评语都是以耳语夹着一些耸肩动作表达。这件事可以提供一、两个星期的兴奋，没有人可以确定自己家不会陷入类似的情况。盖柏拉会结婚，若是宝宝提早来临，嗯，全世界的宝宝好像都有这种癖好做这种事。 婚礼在巴士泰德家举行，虽然没有充分的时间准备，但是所有巴士泰德太太认为必要的东西都有了。我听说伯爵对他的工人非常好，给了这一对新人很棒的结婚礼物，足够让他们买所需的家俱。因为杜蓝夫妇无法把所有的家俱放入小别墅中，所以他们接收了一些，他们立刻就安顿好一切了。 盖柏拉的改变令人大吃一惊，开朗取代了恐惧，她看来比以前更漂亮。当我到圣瓦林看她和贾克的老母亲时，她非常欢迎我。有许多事我想问她，但是当然我不能，我想告诉她，我不仅是想满足无聊的好奇心。 我离去时，她邀我下次路过时再去看她，我答应了。 婚礼后大约四、五个星期，我们现在正式进入春季，攀爬的葡萄藤开始快速生长，户外接连进行着工作直到收成为止。 吉娜薇薇和我在一起，但是我们的关系不像过去般和谐。克劳蒂在古堡出现对她有不利的影响，我如坐针毡的想着会发生什么事。我曾觉得我使她有些进步，但是现在我却像创造出一幅有着虚假光彩的图画，我使用的溶剂只能产生暂时的效果，甚至可能会伤害图画本身。 我说：“我们要不要去拜访盖柏拉？” "I do not mind." “噢，好吧，如果你不想，我自己去。” 她耸耸肩，但是继续跟在我后面。 “她要生孩子了。”她说。 “那，”我说，“会让她和她的丈夫非常快乐。” “但是它来得快了一点，每一个人都在谈论着。” “每一个人！我知道许多人没有，你真的不该夸大，而且你为何不说英文？” “我厌倦说英文，这是一种令人厌倦的语言，”她笑着，“这只是一种利益的结合，我听说是这样。” “所有的婚姻都该有利益。” 那又让她笑了，然后她说：“再见，小姐，我不去，我可能看来……或说起话来不够文雅让你受窘，你永远不知道。” 她一刺马匹，转身走开。我准备跟着她，因为她不该单独在乡间骑马。但是她早我一步，消失在矮树丛中。 不到一分钟后，我听到枪声。 “吉娜薇薇。”我大叫，当我疾驰入树丛，我听她尖叫，树枝钩到我，好似在阻止我……于是我又大叫：“吉娜薇薇你在哪里？发生什么事了？” 她在啜泣：“喔，小姐……小姐……” 我走入她声音的方向，我发现了她，她已下马，马儿在一旁耐心的站着。 “发生什么事……”我开口，然后我看到伯爵躺在草地上，他的马在一旁。他的骑马装外套上都是血。 “他……他被杀了。”吉娜薇薇结结巴巴的说。 我跳下地，跪在他身旁，然后一阵恐慌迎向我。 “吉娜薇薇，”我说，“快去找人帮忙，圣瓦林最近，找个人去叫医生。” 她立刻行动。 接下来几分钟我心中一片模糊，我听到吉娜薇薇轰隆的马蹄声到了路旁疾驰而去。“洛塞尔……”我喃喃着，第一次叫他这罕用的名字，并大声说出，“不可以，我受不了。我可以忍受任何事，除了你死去。” 我注意那厚短的睫毛，他盖子似的眼睑合起，就像百叶窗似的把他的生命之光带走……还有我的，永远。 这种想法来了又去，然而一个人的手却更实在。我举起他的手，一股狂喜冲向我，因为我感到脉搏，虽然它很微弱。 “没有……死。”我耳语，“感谢上帝……感谢上帝。”我听出我声音中的哽咽，而且感到一阵狂喜涌遍全身。 我解开他的外套，若是像我想像的子弹射穿心脏，那里应该有一个弹孔。我找不到，他没有流血。 很快的真相大白了，他没有被射中，鲜血是从侧在他身边的马而来。 我脱下我的外套，把它卷成一个枕头，垫着他的头，我幻想他面有血色，眼皮在眨动。我听到自己说：“你还活着……活着……感谢上帝。” 我默祷救援者快来，我祈祷他没受伤。我跪在那里，双眼盯着他的脸，双唇无声的动着。然后那厚眼睑又眨动了，它们打开了，他的双眼看着我，当我靠近他时，他的双唇微微张开。 我感到我的唇在颤抖，过去几分钟的情绪令人难以忍受——突然而来的希望取代了恐惧，但希望本身略带惊怕。 “你会没事的。”我说。 他闭上眼睛，我跪在那儿等着。