Chapter 18 chapter Five

The grieving Basil really wanted to regain his life in Barnes, but this was just an empty idea of ​​no avail, leaving nothing but a violent temper and an unfree body.Feeling he couldn't handle something, he used Jenny's physical condition as an excuse to insist that she stay longer in Brighton.But later, her condition improved significantly, and Basil had no reason for her to stay in Brighton any longer.They were back together in their little house in Riverside Park. On the surface, everything was the same, but in fact it must have been different.After a brief separation, they seem to have become strangers to each other, and the occasional little thing can make their relationship difficult.Basil now began to look at his wife more critically, and some of the harsh words that he could hold back before would now come out of his mouth from time to time.He believed that Jenny had been under a lot of bad influence after being with her sister for two months.She began to use expressions that disgusted him; at mealtimes he could not help berating Jenny if she did not meet his fastidious standards.He resented her sloppy presidency and casual attire.She likes to buy things that are not classy, ​​and, at home, she doesn't even bother to keep herself tidy, wearing dirty dressing gowns most of the time, and her hair is dirty.However, since nothing seems to change, Basil decides to ignore it all, take care of his life, and let Jenny live as she wants.Now, when she did something he didn't like, Basil just shrugged and said nothing.He became more and more silent, and stopped even trying to discuss topics with her that he knew she would not be interested in.

He is also no longer attracted to his wife than he was when they were first married.Jenny was deeply frustrated by being aware of these changes in Basil, but not being able to understand why.Sometimes she would cry in despair, wondering if she had done something wrong to lose Basil's love; People's heavy words.She resented his reservations: before, he would discuss her questions with gusto, but now he just silently ignored them.After thinking about it, Janice came to a conclusion: it could only be another woman who caused all these discrepancies.Immediately, she remembered what her mother had told her to keep an eye on Basil.One morning Basil told Jenny that he was going out to eat with friends that day.Before knowing that Jenny would be back, he accepted the invitation.

"Who are you going to dine with?" asked Jenny, who quickly became suspicious. "Mrs. Murray." "Is it the female friend who came here to see you last year?" "She came to see you," replied Basil, laughing. "Yes, I believe that. But I don't think a married man can go to dinner alone in the West End." "Sorry. I accepted the invitation, so I have to go." Jenny made no reply, but when Basil came home in the afternoon she stared at him carefully.She saw Basil's turbulent emotions.His eyes sparkled with excitement, and he kept checking his watch, waiting for dress time.After he left, in order to further understand the relationship between Basil and Mrs. Murray, Jenny walked to the coat that Basil had just taken off without hesitation. She wanted to see his portable notebook, but it was not there. in that pocket.Jenny was a little surprised, because Basil was very careless about such things.Next, she thought that there should be an invitation letter in the drawer, so she walked towards the drawer anxiously.However, at this moment, she found that the drawer had been locked, and Basil's extra care further aggravated Jenny's suspicion.Jenny remembered that there was a spare key at home, so she took it and opened the drawer. The first thing that came to her was a letter signed by Hilda Morrie.The letter, beginning "Dear Kent" and ending "Your Sincerely, Hilda Murray," was just a perfectly normal formal dinner invitation.Jenny looked at the other letters, but they were only business letters.She put these things away in their original order, and then locked the drawers.Now, she's starting to feel ashamed of what she's done.

"Oh, who made him despise me like this!" she cried. Afraid of leaving any traces of "committing crimes", Jenny opened the drawer again and sorted out the letters in the drawer again.Basil had said that there was no need to wait for him, but Jenny was not sleepy.She kept staring at the slowly moving hands of the clock, and told herself angrily that during this time Basil was enjoying his time to the fullest and would never think of her.Basil came home flushed and looking happy, and Jenny imagined a flash of anger on Basil's face when he saw herself still sitting in the chair.

"Are you sleepy?" he asked. "yes." "Then why don't you go to bed? I'll go to sleep after one more cigarette." "I'll wait for you to sleep together." She watched him walk up and down the room, looking very excited, but didn't say a word to her.He seemed to have completely forgotten her existence.Then anger and jealousy suddenly overcame all emotions. "Well, my young man," she said to herself, "I must find out what's wrong with it." She already had a letter from Mrs. Murray, and after that she began to look carefully at all the letters to Basil, to see if there was any more from Mrs. Murray.Basil used to never pay attention to his letters, and often put them there casually, but now, he carefully locked everything up, and Jenny felt more certain that he must have something ulterior motives .Then she boasted, with a little wry smile, that she was too clever to imagine that Basil would never have thought that Jenny would go through his drawers every day after he left for work.Although she has never found any evidence, Jenny is still convinced that her jealousy is definitely not out of thin air.Jenny found Basil in new clothes one morning, and she surmised that he might be going to see Mrs. Murray in the afternoon.If Basil did go, it seemed that Jenny's fears would be confirmed; if not, she might be able to put aside all these tormenting fantasies.Jenny put on a veil and plain clothes, and when Basil was about to get off work, she hid quietly across the street from his unit and waited.Soon, he came out, and she followed him quietly.She had followed her all the way to the seafront, and then Piccadilly Circus, when, for fear of losing herself in the crowd, she had to move closer to him.Suddenly, however, he turned around and walked quickly towards her.She cried out in surprise, and felt a pang of shame at seeing him seem pale with anger.

"Jenny, why are you following me?" "I didn't follow you. I didn't see you." He called a cab, put her in it, jumped into it himself, and told the driver to go to Waterloo.They just caught a train to Barnes.He did not speak to her, and she watched him in silence, filled with terror.On the way home Basil said not a word.When they returned to the living room of their home, Basil closed the door carefully. "Now, can you tell me what you mean by that?" he asked. She didn't answer, just stared sullenly at the ground. "speak?" "I'm not stupid," she replied.

"Jenny, look at me, we better get to know each other. Why are you opening my drawers and checking my letters?" "You have no right to say that about me, it's a false accusation." "When you move my drawers, everything looks messy." "Well, I have a right to know everything. Where were you going today?" "It's obviously none of your business. I'm just ashamed of you for doing these horrible things. Don't you know there's nothing more shameful than stalking people in the street? I'd rather you steal than peek at people personal correspondence."

"I'm not going to let you go after other women, and you should know that." He laughed, with contempt and disgust at the same time. "Don't be silly. We're married, and we're all supposed to take care of it. You should understand that I don't do anything to blame." "You're always with good friends I'm not good enough for." "My God!" he exclaimed in pain, "you can't blame me for taking it easy. It doesn't hurt that I see some of my pre-marriage friends once in a while, does it?" Jenny did not answer, but pretended to arrange the flowers in a vase; then she smoothed a cushion on the sofa and straightened a painting.

"If your reprimand is over, I want to go and take my hat off," she said finally, hostilely. "Whatever you want." He replied indifferently. Shortly thereafter, Basil's novel was published.Although he knew that Jenny would not be very interested in this, in order to appease her emotions, he carefully brought her a copy back without saying anything.Yet he wrote to Mrs. Murray that what pleased him most about the publication of the book was that he knew he could dedicate it to her.Afterwards, he anxiously awaited her thank you note and her comments.She wrote back twice, the first time saying that she had received the book and had read a chapter; the second time after reading it, she wrote enthusiastic words of praise.Her appreciation filled Basil with joy as if he had ascended to heaven.Jenny also forced herself to finish reading the book, and then Basil waited for her criticism, but Jenny didn't say anything, so Basil had to ask her what she thought after reading it.

"I love it," she said. However, the indifference in her tone irritated him. Although he knew that the indifference had nothing to do with this book, he still felt greatly humiliated.But the bigger disappointment was the book reviews that followed.Most of the reviews for this book are short and full of sarcasm.The book that he had hoped would bring him literary prominence turned out to be little more than a student project, promise over performance.Its merits are so few that it hardly excites any casual admiration.The conception of the book is a failure, and his focus on the environment reads like a dissertation or a monograph.The ending is also not brilliant, neither romantic nor much reference value.Happily, his battered self-esteem was eventually salvaged by two literary treatises, which gave more positive reviews, praising his passion for beauty, his cautious style, and the clarity and perfection of his characterization.The first was from Mrs. Murray, along with a note of congratulations, which he read with great enthusiasm.Mrs. Murray's comments gave Basil renewed confidence and determination to do better in the future.Although he showed all the criticisms to Jenny, this praise, which was more important from a literary point of view than all the other comments combined, Basil refrained from showing to Jenny because of a twisted pride.

The upshot of this is that Jenny gets the book's failure wrong, and she thinks that Basil may not be as perfect as she imagined when she fell in love with him.She tried not to dwell on her feelings, but when she did, she felt a strange confusion.She adored Basil madly, was full of suspicion of him, and at the same time resented him a little, so she was even happy to see the public ridicule of him.They belittled Basil and drew him to her side, because if he wasn't as bright as he started, the gap between them would be closed.However, the gap between them is deepening day by day, and their quarrels are becoming more and more frequent.Basil hated his life in Barnes, so he wrapped himself tightly, forming an airtight barrier.He became more and more silent, just carried on his work in an orderly manner, and tried to avoid any discordant discussions with Jenny.He wanted to assuage his unhappiness by working frantically, and confront his wife's bad temper with the indifference of a philosopher.So, no matter how much she scolded him, he seldom responded, which made Jenny even more annoyed, so she only sneered at him.Yet sometimes Jenny regretted it; she would come to her husband crying, begging his forgiveness, and expressing her love for him again and again.In this way, there will be peace between them for a few days. But one morning, a more serious argument broke out between them.During this time, Basil, who was short of money, found that James Bush, who was still unemployed, was still secretly borrowing money from Jenny.He had begged her not to lend James any more money, Jenny reluctantly promised, and he was forced to ask Jenny not to give any more money to the greedy Bush family.This time, both parties are angry and eventually Basil leaves the house.Soon, however, James Bush, who had caused all this trouble, came to Basil's house again. "Where is your master this afternoon?" he asked, taking Basil's cigarette for himself. "He's gone for a walk." "My dear, that's just one of his excuses," he replied, laughing maliciously. "Where did you see him?" Jenny asked him immediately, her expression full of suspicion. "No, I can't say that I met him. If so, I can't boast any more." "What do you mean?" Jenny didn't back down at all. "Well, every time I come, he always goes for a walk." He glanced at Jenny, and without further ado, asked her to borrow a few pounds.But Jenny remembered the morning's quarrel, felt sorry for having caused it, and rebuffed him very firmly.As he insisted and accused her of being petty, she had to explain to him that the family had been spending too much lately.The doctor had just sent a bill for fifty pounds, and she had spent a lot of money on her recuperation in Brighton, and it was difficult for them to ensure that the family had enough money. "Jenny, you did a wonderful job of marrying him, and you did a wonderful job for yourself." "I forbid you to speak ill of him." Jenny responded immediately. "Okay, stop losing your temper. I know you're mad at him, but he doesn't care about you at all." She looked up at him in surprise. "how do you know?" "Do you think I can't see it!" He smirked to himself, "I think you must have cried today?" "We had an argument this morning," she replied, "don't say he doesn't care about me, I'm going to die of it." "Whatever you want," he said with a smile, "Basil Kent is not the only man in the world, why bother to hang himself on a tree." Jenny went to the window and looked out.She saw her husband walking slowly outside, with his head down, looking extremely depressed.Thinking of the unhappiness between them, Jenny couldn't help shedding tears again.Everything seemed so wrong, and although she loved Basil very much, there was a strange force that kept her from being angry with him.At this moment, in complete despair, Jenny turned to her brother and told him some things that had been buried in her heart but never mentioned to anyone. "Ah! Jimmy, Jimmy, sometimes I really don't know what to do and I'm so sad. If our kids were here, I might still be able to keep my husband - I might still be able to make him fall in love with me .” She slumped into a chair, cupping her face in her hands.Soon, she heard the sound of the door closing, followed by the sound of the door being locked. "Jimmy, he's in. You don't want to say anything that makes him angry and want to leave the house." "I was just trying to talk to him." "No, Jimmy, don't. The quarrel this morning was my fault. I tried to annoy him, and I nag him on purpose." She knew how to influence her brother, "Don't let him know what I told you, tomorrow I'll find a way to give you a pound." "Well, he'd better not mess with me first, because I won't put up with him. I'm a gentleman, if not better than him, at least as good as he is." Just then Basil came in, and he Saw James, but didn't say anything. "Good afternoon, Basil." "Are you here again?" he remarked indifferently. "It seems so, doesn't it?" "I'm afraid it is." "Is that so? I think I'm free to come and see my sister." "I guess it's unavoidable. It's just that if you can figure it out to come when I'm not home, then I'd be grateful; and vice versa, of course." "I think you want me to go out." "Dear James, you have shown extraordinary understanding today." Basil said with a cold smile. "Well, Basil, let me give you some advice. Don't go too far, or you'll only hurt yourself." "I see you haven't learned to be rude without being rude." Basil's sarcasm and elaborate sarcasm were the least of James's tolerance, and now, irritated, and forgetting all the dogma of prudence, he jumped to his feet. "Well, I've had enough of this. I'm not going to put up with your ridicule and contempt for me any longer. You seem to think I'm nothing. I wonder why you think so little of me." "Because I like to do it," replied Basil, looking him up and down with cold contempt. After anticipating an impending quarrel, Jenny's heart began to pound, and she quickly begged James to control her mouth in a low voice, but he didn't restrain himself in the slightest. "You know, I don't want to see you here either." "I also discovered that my wallet is more attractive to you than my words. I don't know why you think that because I married your sister, I should support you all the rest of my life? Can you please tell your family that I am disgusted by this and will not give you any more money!" "I suppose you're not going to stop us from coming to your house while you're away?" James growled. Basil shrugged. "You can come over while I'm away—if you keep yourselves in your place." "I suppose I'm of no use to you?" "No, of no use at all," replied Basil calmly. "I daresay you just want me to leave your business alone. But I tell you, I'll keep an eye on you." "What do you mean?" replied Basil very sharply.So James found that he had touched Basil's sore spot. James took advantage of the situation and pressed hard. "You think I don't know who you are? I can see the problem between you. Jenny has been putting up with you." However, Basil quickly regained his composure, turned around and looked at Jenny with a smile full of contempt, which deeply hurt Jenny. "Has she already told you about my countless mistakes? Darling, you should have a lot to say." Seeing Jenny's expression as if she wanted to protest, he smiled again, "Oh, dear , if it amuses you, you've got to tell all your relatives anyway. But if I'm not at fault, I'll be a very dull man." "Jimmy, tell him I haven't said anything bad about him," she cried. "There is no need to say anything more, I believe it." Basil felt more and more bored, and felt no need to hide the fact.So he went to his desk, took out some note paper and started writing.Jimmy looked at him hostilely, still upset at what he had just said, and wondering what he should do next.Basil just glanced at him indifferently. "I'm tired now, Brother James. If I were you, I'd leave with a sense of humor." "Whether I go or not is my business," Mr. Bush replied aggressively. Basil smiled and looked up at him. "Of course we're all Christians, dear James, and a lot of people are dissatisfied with society these days. But in the end the word always comes from the strongest." "what do you mean?" "I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with being brave, but it's better to add good judgment. People say that the motto is the wealth of the country." "That's the kind of thing you're good at—you little man." "Oh, I didn't hurt anyone." Basil smiled wryly, "I should have just thrown you downstairs." "Oh, I'd love to see if you dare!" James exclaimed, moving a little toward the door. "Don't be silly, James. You don't want that." "I'm not afraid of you at all." "Of course you're not afraid of me. You're not very muscular, though, are you?" Anger drove away all caution, so James directly punched Basil in the face with his fist. "Hmph, I'm going to punish you, I'm going to punish you." "James, I give you five minutes to leave here." Basil said in a more decisive tone. Jimmy stared at him furiously and helplessly for a moment, then, without saying anything, turned away and slammed the door of their house.Basil shrugged and smiled calmly.Basil began to loathe himself as much as he loathed James, but he figured that with the increasing number of such things he would soon be numb.In this self-contempt, he told himself, he was clearly responding to all of James' provocations with astuteness, so in that sense he was a winner.He glanced at Jenny: she had her sewing in her hands, but she was not working, her eyes were just looking out the window. "The only thing Brother James did for us was that he brought a little entertainment," he murmured. "I don't know what's the matter with him," replied Jenny, "why you treat him like a dog." "Honey, I didn't treat him like a dog. I like dogs very much." "Isn't he the same person as me? You really insulted yourself by marrying me. " "I really don't think that because I married you, I have to care and protect your 'lovely' family." "Why don't you like them? They are honest and respectable people." Basil sighed wearily.They had been discussing this issue frequently since last month, and although he tried his best to keep his mouth shut, his patience seemed to be at an end. "Dear Jenny," he said, "we choose our friends not only because they are honest and respectable, nor because they change their clothes every day. I care if they are elegant and virtuous, and people who have neither , is what annoys me the most.” "If they're accomplished, you think they're elegant and virtuous." Basil looked at her curiously, wondering why she thought of herself so meanly, and responded that if his wife's relatives had been modest, honest, common country folk, he would have become good friends with them.The Bushes, however, are fond of vulgar boasting, or, at best, eccentricity.Jenny thought about what he said, was silent for a few minutes, and then broke out impatiently. "We're not that bad! My mother's father was a gentleman." "I hope your mother's son is a gentleman," replied Basil, keeping his eyes on the letter he was writing. "Do you know what Jimmy said of you?" "I don't care, but if it would make you happier to say it, you can tell me." She glanced at him angrily, but made no answer.Then Basil stood up, walked towards her, and put his hands on her shoulders.He gently explained to her that even if he didn't care much about her family, it wasn't his fault.Can't she compromise with reality and live a good life?It is clearly a better choice not to put yourself in pain.But Jenny rejected his reconciliation and turned around. "Because they don't have high status, you don't think they deserve to associate with you." "I don't mind if they're a grocer or a clothing seller," he replied, with a tinge of sullenness. "I just want them to sell their stuff at the right price." "Jimmy's not a grocer or a clothing seller. He's an auction house clerk." "I sincerely apologize to you. I thought he was a grocer because last time he asked us how much it cost us a pound of tea and offered to sell us the tea for the same price. Then he offered to pay for our tea Fireproof the house and suggested I buy Australian gold mines from him." "Well, it's better to do as much as possible than to sit around like you." "Well, even to please you, there's no way I'd be pocketing some samples of tea and selling them a pound or two when I go to see friends. Besides, I don't think they'll pay for my tea .” "Oh no," cried Jenny contemptuously, "you're a gentleman, and a barrister, and a writer, and you wouldn't do anything dirty to stain your white hands. Didn't know the others were How do you know all kinds of sales information?" "I believe the easiest way is to marry the daughter of a crafty salesman." "Didn't you marry a bartender?" "Jenny, I didn't say that," he answered gravely. "Yeah, you didn't say that. But you hinted. You never said anything, but you hinted and insinuated until I lost my mind." He held out his hands. "If I hurt you, I apologize. I swear I didn't mean it. I always wanted to be nice to you." He looked at her worriedly, hoping she would say something apologetic or affectionate, but she pursed her lips in displeasure, lowered her eyes and resumed her work. Basil could only return to his letters, and no one spoke for the next hour.Finally, Jenny couldn't stand the complete silence any longer, especially since he was so close to her, yet so hostile and so inaccessible.So she got up and went outside to her own room.Instead of being angry, she was beginning to be afraid.She tries to sort it all out, and in desperation realizes that she has no one to turn to for advice.It was impossible for her family to understand these problems, and if she sought help from them, instead of getting help, she would only receive contempt and cruel ridicule.She suddenly wanted to go to Frank, the only one of Basil's friends she felt close to: he came to Barnes often, and was always so kind, so gentle, that Jenny felt that he could be trusted.But would he care about her suffering?How can he help?She was well aware of the helpless, sympathetic look he might have shown.Now it seems that she is so lonely in this world, without strength or courage, far away from the family who accompanied her in the first half of her life, and far away from the class that marriage brought her into.At the moment, her mind was racing like a puppet spinning endlessly around her pain, with no end in sight for her troubles.But the confusion, fear, and uncertainty forced her to try something more desperate, and she turned to herself for the strength to pursue the happiness she so wanted.She began to recall the events of last year, clearly recalling every scene at that time, but saw a scene that was getting darker day by day: the sun was so bright at the beginning, and then gradually, gradually, the clouds began to cover.Then she told herself that it would take a lot of effort, and if it wasn't done now, it would be too late later.She was losing her husband's love for her, and she began to blame herself painfully, taking all the responsibility on her shoulders.The only chance now is to completely change yourself.She had to try not to be so demanding, not to be so madly jealous; she had to try to be useful to him.In a moment of anguished regret, she examines all her mistakes.At last, although her face was still flushed from crying, and her eyes were still full of tears, she got up and went to Basil, and put her hands on Basil's shoulders. "Basil, I have come to ask your forgiveness, and I apologize for what I just said. I was so excited that I got carried away." There was a tenderness in her voice that Basil had almost forgotten.He stood up and took her hand, smiling happily. "My dear, what does it matter? I've already forgotten." "I've been thinking about it. We haven't been getting along very well lately, and I'm afraid it's my fault. I did something that I regret. I peeked at your letter," she blushed suddenly with shame. "But I swear I'm not doing that now. I'll try to be a good wife in the future. I know I'm not good enough for you, but I'll try to catch up with you in the future. You have to be patient with me, you know , I still have a lot to learn." "Oh, Jenny, don't say that; you make me feel like a mean man." She finally burst into tears and laughed.He began to speak to her in the same charming tone as before.But she suddenly showed a trace of sadness. "Basil, you still love me a little bit, don't you?" "My dear, you know, I must love you." He took her into his arms and kissed her.She couldn't stop the tears again, but tears of joy, she thought, poor thing!The conflict between the two ended like this.The future will be bright, and it will be very different from the past.